#AND INSTANTLY I START THINKING 'F WORD????? THE GAY SLUR??? WHAT?? WHY WHAT??!'

[weaselishmcdiesel]

fucking christ rant in tags

[bonny-kookoo]

Good Girl [J.JK x Reader]🔞🌼

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, a lil angst

Warnings: dom/sub dynamics, dom!jungkook, sub!Reader, size kink, oral (f & m rec.), mild dd/lg themes, praise kink, cumplay, reader is a virgin, jungkook is lowkey a hoe, a lil heartbreak, Taehyung makes an appearance, long haired jungkook, mentions of harrassment, jungkook punches a guy, strength kink

Jeon Jungkook was known to have a specific type when it came to his partners; tall, gorgeous, dominant and older. It's not like he's a true blood baby boy; he's just too lazy to put any effort into his flings. When a new girl answers to his ad online searching for a roommate for his apartment to share rent and space however, he didn't quite expect such an innocent being to turn up at his doorstep with a box full of pastel colored belongings, ready to move in. And what he definitely didn't expect was his growing interest in her and the feeling of having her under him, all submissive and ready to be ruined.

Good Girl || Sweet Girl || Smart Girl || Brave Girl || Pretty Girl || Charming Girl || Enticing Girl || Bad Girl || ???

A wink was all he got from the woman who'd occupied his bed together with him last night as she walked out his bedroom door, seemingly knowing how to get out of his apartment. Jungkook ran his hand through his still sweaty hair, groaning after stretching his arms above his head, his mood seemingly sunkissed. He just finished an almost three hour sex-session after all; all without him providing any actual effort. His dick had seemed to be enough for her anyways, her face when she rode him happy, although he could really care less.

Reaching for his laptop near his bed, he didn't bother to put on any clothes for now, just wanting to check if he'd gotten any new E-Mails or messages, clicking through the casual nudes that constantly seemed to slip into his postbox. He cocked his head to the side however when he noticed that a website has notified him of an answer to his ad online; he'd put it up some time ago now after Taehyung, his former roommate, had to move out simply because Jungkook himself couldn't survive the older one's sleep shedule. Tae seemed to never sleep, waking the younger one up on a daily (and nightly) basis. He really tried to get along with him, both of them sharing a deep friendship, but god no, as a roommate he couldn't stand that guy. His rent however was something he struggled as well, so as much as he really wanted to live alone, he couldn't. He clicked the message on the website, his interest peaked.

"Hello. Is this AD still up to date? My name is Y/N, and I'm searching for a place because I'm starting to work close by soon, and its too expensive to take the bus for hours on end every day.. so uh, I don't know? I'm really good at cooking, and I promise I'll be so quiet and organized you won't even notice I'm there! I work at a restaurant nearby as a waitress- I mean, I'm going to, haha. Ugh, I hope you're okay sharing your apartment with a girl as well, I for my part don't have a problem with that! So, I guess, I'll wait for your reply?

Have a nice day!"

He scoffed a little, hovering over the delete button, but instead, he clicked her profile icon, opening the details. Her profile picture showed a white big dog, being hugged by what he assumed was her. He couldn't see her face however, half of her face above her nose cropped out to fit the entire dog instead. He could spot her clothes however; a top and skirt, flat shoes and sheer tights with white spots on them. His brows furrowed, how old was she? Her profile said she was about a year younger than him, every post she'd made up to this date about pet stuff, clothes who all seemed to follow a pastel-color scheme, and artwork you seemed to be selling. You were basically the definition of cute.

Fan-fucking-tastic. Hopefully you wouldn't be too upset when he denied your request, but somehow he thought it over. You said you could cook and you did seem like an organized person. Knowing what kind of effect he could have on people, he could probably scare the shit out of you and keep you around without really having to interact much; and rent was also due this month, so the sooner he found a roommate the better. "Fuck it." He said, and began to type his reply.

When his doorbell rang, he almost burned his hand with the hot water he currently used to make himself a cup of ramen, cursing loudly. Who the fuck wasn't home again so he had to take their package in? One day the old lady across the hall would find a dead rat or something in front of her door, he swore to himself. Ripping the door open with so much force he could feel a bit of wind gushing by, his eyes widened when he saw a similar face in front of him- well, a little below actually. He remembered your lips instantly for some awkward reason, having tried to maybe paint a picture of what you looked like entirely over the last few days. He would've never expected something like this however- you looked like a literal doll in his opinion, your eyes wide open and mouth a little parted, shiny lipgloss making him swallow. Wait, did he really forget that you said you wanted to move in today?!

"I uh.. I'm- I'm Y/N, we- I- the ad..?" You said, your voice sounding nothing like the woman he usually was around. He smirked a little, moving so you could step inside, food now definitely forgotten on the kitchen counter. He really should've at least cleaned up a little he thought. Whatever.

"Yeah, figured. There you go, thats your room. The keys and shit are on the matress, make sure you don't loose 'em." He simply said, before leaving you alone in your new home to settle down.

"What I'm trying to say is, Y/N, you and I, this could really be something!" Taehyung slurred into your ear, loud enough for Jungkook to hear. For some reason it pissed him off to no ends how close the older one seemed to be, constantly hitting on you like he was a starving man, even know half of town knew very well that he wasn't. He could see why; you were innocent, and Tae known to fool around a lot. You were a challenge, something new for him, and he would lie if he said that he wasn't interested as well. Oh he was; but he also had at least some manners left inside of him, contrary to popular belief not only thinking with his dick. Taehyung however was only out for fun, making Jungkook question if he should really let this continue.

He decided no.

"Alright you fucking whore, it's bedtime isn't it? I'll call you a cab." Taehyung groaned at the younger one's words, nodded his head however before looking at you with a smirk.

"Ah, what a shame. But if you wanna have some fun you know my number!" He said, as if he didn't just offer you sex. You blushed at this, not answering, making Jungkook watch you a bit. You really were something else. "Jungkookie, you're so nicee... If I was gay I would definitely suck your dick-" The younger in question made a disgusted yet amused face, putting a hand over the blue haired one's mouth.

"Yeah yeah, you pay me back though you fucker." He said, before going into the kitchen to make the call. Taehyung, being left alone with you again started with his questioning, as he had done the entire night.

"So, Y/N.." He said, dragging out the last syllable of your name playfully, making you shuffle around where you were sitting a bit. He certainly was a pretty attractive guy, but he also seemed to be very straightforward- something you always had struggled with, being more on the shy side. You looked at him, silently urging him to continue before taking a sip of your own beer- cherry flavored, simply because the regular was too bitter in your opinion. "What kind of toys do you use, heh?" He questioned, and you coughed suddenly. Taehyung laughed loudly at that, cooing when you calmed down slowly.

"Taehyung, stop harassing my roommate you fucking idiot. I need her to pay half of the rent-" He said, before sitting down next to you, raising one of his eyebrows at you. "And she also makes some killer lasagna. Kinda wanna keep that." He said, before laughing a bit. Even though Jungkook seemed to be pretty intimidating to you, he was actually a pretty good guy to have around. You both barely ever fought, and overall you could almost see yourself falling for him too- he had the looks after all. But his habit of bringing people over just to satisfy himself was something that made you keep some distance between you both. He wasn't someone to settle down- let alone with someone like you. You were pretty much the exact opposite of what he seemed to like.

Sending Tae home was easier than you both thought. Not being able to go to bed you both decided to watch some late night shows while casually talking- something that wasn't uncommon between you two. Just when you seemed to have gotten comfortable again, Jungkook couldn't help but tease you again.

"So, what Toys do you use, heh?" He said, laughing with his head thrown back afterwards at your red face. This would certainly never get old in his opinion. Just as he was about to apologize and tell you you didn't have to answer, your voice was heard, however.

"None." You said, and his eyes widened at that. "What? Do I look like I do these things to you?" You asked, and he cocked his head to the side a bit, scanning you obviously. He shrugged, and you began to pout, moving to wrap your pastel pink blanket around yourself. "I don't even know how to buy one. That stuff is just.. don't know. Gross." You said, and Jungkook turned on the couch, body facing you now, his interest sparked.

"Gross? So you never had sex before?" He said, and you went silent. Were you serious right now? You were an angel in his eyes, body proportions almost perfect, hell, even your slight imperfections were adorable in his eyes. Up until now he had been sure that you at least have had your fair share of experience, but a virgin? His world was suddenly turned upside down. "Well.. that's something I didn't expect." He said, making you raise your eyebrows at him. "You're hot. Thats why. Oh well." He said, missing the way your eyes widened at that. "I'm gonna go to bed now. Goodnight." He simply said, and you answered with a short 'goodnight' as well- still a bit surprised by his statement. Jungkook thought.. you were attractive?

He'd somehow gotten used to you, how you would leave your pastel pink but admittedly really soft blanket in a pile on one edge of the couch in the living room, how you sometimes left your toothbrush in the sink when you'd been in a hurry, or how you would hum to a song, not knowing he could hear you very clearly. Maybe he really did go soft after living with you for a while. He still didn't know himself why he got so upset with Taehyung the day prior; was he really being selfish? He was protecting you, nothing more. Taehyung was everything but a gentle lover, jungkook just knew he'd break you for sure, not to mention that you already stated how much you despised one night stands, which were practically Taehyungs speciality. He was just looking after you, nothing more.

The more he thought about it however, the more problematic the entire plan became.

But even now, while the young woman whose name he had already forgotten was giving it her all sucking his dick, all that seemed to swim around in his head were the events of the previous evening; how innocent and embarrassed you looked at him when you told him you'd never bought, let alone use a toy before. Surely you'd be someone to enjoy a good vibrator he thought, maybe as a gag he could buy you one? Oh how enchanting you'd look, spread out on his mattress while he would edge you over and over until you'd be crying, begging for his mercy. He would praise you for taking it so well, for being so good for him and only him, and he just knew you would blush. Instead of rushing to his own satisfaction, he would go slow, agonizingly slow, just to see how far he could push you. He would feast on you like a predator on his prey, pull you close so you had no chance of escaping him, he would trace every curve of your skin, gently, as if to make up for the bruises and Mark's he would surely leave all over you to feed his inner need to claim you, even though he would never let anyone see you like this while he was alive and breathing anyways. He just knew you would fit perfectly underneath him, his body covering you and shielding you away from the world around. Would you be able to take all of him? He probably would have to stretch you real good before even thinking about pushing his dick inside you, yet he just knows you would somehow make him proud and take it all, and he would continue his praises, telling you what a good girl you are.

He almost laughed at the situation, he really was in deep, wasn't he? Frustrated and confused he started to picture someone else entirely kneeled between his legs on the floor, how you'd bat your eyelashes at him like the fucking angel you were instead of the girl currently there, and that thought alone gave him the final push to shoot his load down the strangers throat, who moaned obscenely at the feeling. Usually he would be aroused, ready for more, but the sound of someone who wasn't his little roommate ripped him out of his daydream. This couldn't go on like that. Sending the lady out without many words, he decided that he just needed to fuck you, and all would be good again. He was just curious. Nothing else. He just needed to satiate his hunger and he could go back to normal.

How would he be able to do this without ending up hurting you? No matter how big his hunger for you was, he also considered you somewhat of a friend. He remembered when you came home crying one time after a bad day at work, and how he wanted to hold you, shielding you from any harm, making you feel safe. Because that's what he, and only he could do in his opinion. No matter what, he'd protect you, as weird as that sounded. Shit.

He really had a crush on you.

Unknowing to him you always held your hands over your ears whenever he brought home a different girl, not being able to listen to his moans mixed with someone else's. You were slowly beginning to regret moving in, already starting to think about maybe searching for a different apartment. But the rent was cheap, your room big, and his company relaxing when he wasn't busy being buried in someone he couldn't even remember after a day or two. Somehow tears were leaking out of your eyes, and you took your hands down from the sides of your head to wipe them away, careful to be as silent as possible as to not alert him that you were awake, well aware of the shower turning on. You did notice however how his sessions became shorter and shorter, always seeming to end sudden instead of usual. But the more you thought of it, the more angry at yourself for falling for this manwhore you became. You really should hate him- but you couldn't.

Tonight was definetely the prime example of why you didn't go into clubs. The sheer amount of people around you, the smell of sweat and cheap cologne and perfume all around made you feel like a headache was inevitable. Why were you here again? Oh yes. You followed Taehyungs advice and 'tried to make friends' instad of looming around your apartment all day. But right now you just really wished you stayed home instead of going here.

Sure, you liked your coworkers, and they seemed nice and everything, but if you were being honest, they're definition of fun was entirely not yours. You began to feel cramped up in the large club, making you desperately pull your phone out of your pocket, texting Jungkook in hopes he could save you from this god forsaken torment they called a club.

  Minutes later, after Jungkook oh so gentlemanly told you to pick you up, you stood in front of that said location, waiting for his cheap but admittedly nice car to pull up. Sadly, someone else seemed to be way more intent on bringing you home- a young man your age, attractive, yes, but also heavily intoxicated. He had already eyed you up inside the building you noticed, yet hadn't made a move towards you. Now however, he seemed more determined than ever.

"Lets go home baby, I swear you won't regret-" He started, but you moved away from him, clenching onto your little handbag in order to at least keep your belongings safe if he tried anything else. Suddenly both your figures were drowned in the warm light of Jungkook's car lights- you immediately recognized them simply by the fact that one was brighter than the other, something you always told him, yet he always waved you off, telling you that both were doing just fine, even though his left light was clearly almost dead. Typical him, you thought. Yet right now, you couldn't be happier to see him.

He however, did not seem happy at all. His face was serious, his wavy hair hanging a little over his eyes, steps fast and strong enough that you could hear his black boots almost crush the slight gravel of the parking lot. "Fuck off sunnyboy and go back inside." He simply yelled out, having already seen how uncomfortable you were with the stranger so close to you. Jungkook wasn't someone to blindly punch someone, that said however, he couldn't contain himself once he saw the guy reaching out for your arm, your figure instinctively scrambling to get behind Jungkooks way larger body. He didn't even notice his fist connecting with the strangers face, simply leading you by the small of your back inside his car, driving home without any more words.

You were not to be touched by someone so dirty like this young man who didn't even knew his own limits it seemed.

Yet you were completely confused now. Maybe, if you were now the reason he got into physical fights, you should make a decision.

The next morning, sitting down at the kitchen table, you watched Jungkook filling your bowl with cereal as well- lucky charms for you, and chocolate chips for him. It became somewhat of a routine since you both woke up roughly around the same time, sharing breakfast was common. The best moment in your opinion to pop the bomb.

"I'm moving out." You said softly, fiddling with your fingers in your lap, leg nervously bouncing up and down. Why did this feel like you were breaking up with him? You both would've ended up going separate ways sooner or later anyways- so he would probably just nod, ask when, and that would be it. He was someone who didn't bother much. But the second you said it, he turned around completely shocked, suddenly very much awake.

"Why? Did I do something?" He asked, sounding genuinely offended for some reason you couldn't come up with. In his mind, scenario over scenario started to play, as if he wanted to search for something he may have said or done to make you so upset that you didn't want to live with him anymore. He knew he shouldn't be so upset over it, since you and him were merely roommates, friends who shared an apartment, nothing more, but he never really expected you to come up with it so sudden. Or maybe you had a boyfriend? What if it was Taehyung, and you just didn't tell him? He would rip that fucker's stupid blue hair out, he knew-

"No. I- not reall-" You sighed, setting your elbows on the kitchen table before letting your head fall into your hands. "Actually yes, you did." You started, looking at him, but unable to hold eye contact with the now completely confused curly haired boy in front of you. "You.. uh.. I cant sleep. Your, 'guests', the walls aren't really soundproof and like, I really- and just.. ugh this is so awkward, please don't make me say it-" You said, groaning the rest of your sentence before stubbornly shoving your back against the chair, throwing your legs back and forth viciously, reminding Jungkook of a kid who was close to throwing a tantrum. Even though this was definitely not the time to think about you laid out over his leg, his hand hitting your perfectly shaped butt until it was red just to punish you for being such a brat, exactly this picture began to form in the back of his head. He hated himself somehow, really. But somehow instead of accepting your decision, he moved to stand at the table, hands on top of it, eyes searching yours.

"Say it Y/N. You know I hate when I have to pull thing out your throat sweetheart." He didn't intend on using the nickname, but somehow he threw his hesitation out the window. If you really were fooling around with someone, someone who wasn't him he wanted to know- and even if you didn't share that information with him, you would move out anyways, so why hold back anymore? You shook your head at him, avoiding his gaze, and he clicked his tongue, patience slowly thinning out. "Spit it out." He said again, but he still got no reaction. His hand seemed to move without his consent when he suddenly found his fingers on your chin, moving your head to force your attention towards him. "Speak the fuck up, I swear to god." He said, voice dropping down lower, and somehow you seemed as if bewitched.

Maybe it was the way he stood there, how he still held your chin, or how intensely he looked at you, but words dropped out of your mouth as if you drank harry potters truth potion. "I cant stand that you let these girls touch you, that they can get you so easily and you just look past me a- and I really tried you know, because Taehyung said you liked mature girls more so I tried to do that, but he lied to me, you don't notice me at all, you're so mean you-" He shut your mouth with his mouth, trying to process the information he just received, yet it seemed like it was too much at once. You were.. jealous? And what kind of stupid advice was Taehyung giving away, that fucker? It was true that he liked his women to be confident and mature, but that was just so they knew what they were doing, and he didn't need to put so much effort into something he could get so easily.

"So you were jealous?" He said, a small smirk creeping up on him, cooing at you internally when you shook your head, face red. "If you wanted me to fuck you, you could've just asked. Geez." He said, but instead of being relieved, your shoulders sagged down. "What?" He asked, and you mumbled to him.

"Because I don't want just that one time stuff you do." Jungkook looked at you, eyes softening at your somehow-confession. He just put together the pieces in his head, and it did make sense. You were practically attached to him wherever he took you, always seemingly glowing whenever his attention was on you. He was as much as a dense head than you were, and he couldn't help but pull out a chair and sitting down, patting his legs as an invitation.

"Good, because I don't want that either. And I don't share either." He said, and looked at you gently, but with a deep darkness behind his eyes. "Trust me baby, you can sit down now and I promise you'll be the only one to have me- or you can move out and go on with your life." He almost laughed at the way it suddenly clicked in your head on what he was offering, suddenly jumping up and sitting on his thighs, legs on either side of his body. He looked down at you, a divine picture coming to life. His hands were placed on the exposed skin under your skirt, slowly sliding over the soft skin until his fingers felt the seam of your tights- those goddamn things he'd wanted to rip off of you so badly these past days. "You can touch me, you know?" He said lowly, and you noticed how awkward you must've looked for a second, seated on his lap with your hands in front of you, unsure where to put them. Just to ground yourself, your fingers began to play with his shirt, and he had to swallow the laugh that wanted to break free. "You don't have to do this, you know? I'm fine with waiting-" He began, but you immediately shook your head, however, at loss for words. He smiled again, dangerously so you noticed. His head dipped down, finally touching your skin on your neck with his lips, leaving open mouthed kisses under your earlobe down to the crook, hands moving over your clothes already mapping out your body in his mind, one hand pulling down one side of your soft fleece jacket you wore, pulling down your shirt as well, so he could softly nip at your shoulder, making you gasp oh so cutely at his actions. His hands didn't stop however, moving over your chest, kneading both of your breasts softly, as if he would hurt you if he used too much strength- which was probably the case. He already loved how bis his hands looked running over your body, how your hands held his shirt in fists, eyes closed, yet not because of fear; you looked serene to him, face showing him the soft pleasure you felt. He suddenly moved you a little, making you straddle one of his leg, core pushed against his thigh. "Let's start slow, yeah?" He asked, whispering words into your ear, lips never parting from you. He slowly began to move your hips, urging you to simply follow what you thought felt best to you. "Use me baby. Get off on my thigh." You whined at that, slowly starting to move more and more boldly, and he decided that he was officially a goner. Even if you didn't want him after whatever may be happening, he knew he could never go back. The way you squeezed your eyes shut every now and then, moving back and forth yet always a bit helpless, showing how inexperienced you were. He could feel the wet patch forming on his jeans, his hands moving you a bit faster, before you let your head fall onto his shoulder, making him chuckle. "What is it baby? Do you need help, hm?" He said, a bit mockingly even, and you nodded into his shoulder. "Tell me what you need then. What do you want, princess?" He said, running his hands over your back, feeling your bodyheat through your clothes.

"wanna get the same.. as the others.." You mumbled, unsure what you were even asking for. Jungkook however simply smiled, suddenly lifting you up, hands under your behind carrying you to his room, before finally letting you fall onto his mattress, laughing when your body jumped a little, making you squeak so cutely. He smiled, crawling over you, his fantasy finally coming to life- you looked so lost under him, so utterly defenseless he could swear he could feel something primal awake inside him- and that was not his dick, which already strained against his jeans, impatient.

"Ah but Baby.." He began, taking off your soft jacket before his hands traced your bare arms until he moved them under your shirt, feeling your skin underneath his fingers. "You're my special girl.." He began to lift your shirt up, helping you out of it before he got rid of your skirt as well, chuckling at your cute lacey underwear, which was so typically you. So innocent, yet so arousing, how you squirmed underneath him in nothing but those pastel colored undergarments. "And special girls get special treatments.." His words were low, soft spoken yet with a rough edge to his tone, a natural feature of his voice that you've come to love. You couldn't even begin to paint out a picture of what he was talking about- sure, you have seen your fair share of adult films, you weren't a kid after all- but up until this moment, up until you met Jungkook, you've never really thought about what you could like when it came to these things. Even in your thoughts you felt shy saying any profanities out loud, how could you expect to know about kinks? "But only if you can behave for me, but you can do that right?" He said, unhooking your bra behind your back with ease and interrupting your inner talk with yourself. "You'll be my good girl, yeah?" He said, and you just viciously nodded, already growing frustrated, and oh how he loved it. This was how he had pictured you. If he had known before that this was what it felt like to have control over someone, he would've never done anything else if he was honest; but then again, you really were a special girl to him. The way you suddenly mewled when his hand cupped your heat, giving you a little pressure just to tease you even further almost caught him off guard. God have mercy on his soul, you were so sensitive to him, and it dawned on him again that he was making you this way. He was the first to- and he would make sure he'd be the only one as well. All those noises tumbling out of between your lips were only his to hear. His breathing peaked up at the view he had, how you began to impatiently rut into his hand, needy for more than he was giving you. He leaned back, finally getting rid of his own clothes as well to your satisfaction, lazily throwing his opened flannel as well as his white shirt somewhere on the floor in his room, and you couldn't help but stare. Truth be told, you didn't really know what to expect of him if you were honest, his constant gym visits giving you the impression that he had to be extremely fit, yet his habit of consuming more than two cups of ramen easily spoke differently. He was, in your eyes, the perfect in-between- he definetely was fit, his abs visible to your eyes, yet he didn't look like those over-achievers you sometimes saw walking around the same gym whenever you met him there to go home together. The way his muscles flexed at every move when he loomed over you again made you want to touch him, yet your shy side forbade you. He chuckled again. "You can touch what's yours all you want, you know?" He said, before he began to place his hand back onto your chest, his breath hot on your collarbone where he placed his kisses again, already hooked on your taste. His other, tattooed hand found its way back to your core, feeling the dampness there with amusement. You were more than what he'd imagined. Slowly he got rid of that barrier however, leaving your tights on for his own pleasure and maybe also for the aesthetic of it, his digits circling around your sensitive bud, making you squeal again, putting your hands over your mouth to keep your voice down. He clicked his tongue at this, moving them to lay right under the small of your back. "Be good and keep them there, yeah?" He said, and you looked away.

"But its- thats emb-" You couldn't even finish the beginning of your rant before he went back to his task at hand, sitting back before moving your legs to spread obscenely over his thighs simply to catch a glimpse of your glistening center, before he placed his body over yours again, hand now roughly circling in delicious eights around your clit, making you gasp out.

"Nothing you do is embarrassing, you hear me. If anything its fucking hot how you can be so fucking adorable even with my hand between your legs, doll." He said, before dipping a finger into you, making you move a bit at the foreign feeling. "Gotta stretch you out babygirl.." He said lowly, careful not to get too fast. His second finger joined in, and he could feel how tight you were around them, already clenching a bit as well, making his mouth water, but also growing a bit of worry in the back of his mind. Usually he was quite cocky about his overly average qualities down in his pants, but now he was genuinely concerned to hurt you with it. This was definitely a first for him. "Baby you're so small.. I don't think you can take it.." He said, a bit of a teasing undertone to his words as well. "See? You're already squeezing my fingers so hard princess, how could my dick ever fit inside huh?" He said, contrary to his otherwise rough nature keeping his movements gentle and slow enough for you to adjust without causing much pain. He could see the slight discomfort in your eyes, yet you suddenly shook your head, voice whiny.

"Uh-uh.." You mumbled, and he laughed a bit at that. "can take it.." You said bratty as ever, feeding his ego to no ends. "Wanna have it- you.. you gon' give it right? 'm good.." You said, having troubles keeping your hands under your back just like he told you to, grabbing the sheets underneath you instead to have something to keep yourself grounded.

Jungkook couldn't stop smiling. You didn't even know what you were asking for, yet you seemed so drowned in trust with him, that you simply gave him the right to do anything he wanted with you. "You sure?" He said, and smiled at the way you nodded again with your eyes closed. He moved away after that, shedding his pants before he walked over to his bedside table, fishing out a condom, before moving back to you, your eyes now on him, or more than that, on his very apparent bulge his boxers failed to conceal. Maybe you really did ask for more than you could take. Quite literally. Sensing your growing uneasiness he simply discarded his underwear, cock finally springing free, slapping soundlessly against his abdomen before he sat between your legs again. You made grabby hands for the foil package in his hands, somehow wanting to slip it onto him, yet he shook his head amused. "Nuh-uh baby. I'm afraid if you touch me right now I'll just embarrass myself and come straight away." He said, and you giggled at that. The sound of it brought him back at ease, his little joke having helped to calm you down at least a little bit. He knew this was a big thing, especially for someone like you- and it made him feel even a bit pressured if he was honest. He was slow when he dipped his head inside, your body instinctively trying to move away a bit, but you forced yourself to stay still, eyes now pressed close. Moving around a bit he kept one hand around the base of himself, the other steadying himself next to your shoulder, kissing you on your lips for the first time since you both started, surprising you enough to not notice how he somehow began to glide into you with the help of your arousal and the lubricant of the condom around him. He groaned, the first actual noise he'd made you could tie to his pleasure, and your breathing picked up once you noticed how full you felt. Gasping several times he suddenly started to laugh, making you giggle as well, even though you didn't knew what was so funny in that situation. "God- ugh.. your- fuck you're tight.." He pressed out, fighting hard against his hips' own mind yelling at him to move, to wreck you, to utterly ruin you. But he couldn't allow himself to do that- reassuring himself that he would have time for that at a later date. He slowly started to move around after he calmed down enough, keeping his speed down to keep it gentle for you. "I- fuck.." He started, having to talk to stretch his patience out, and to also ease your mild pain a little bit. "Let's- ugh.. Let's go on a date tomorrow, yeah? I.. god-" He said, and you nodded, moaning in your delicate pitch he oh so loved. "Gonna be all romantic and shit- fuck- gonna treat you like- for Mcdonald's or some shit." He said, making you both laugh between gasps of pleasure, your hands suddenly frantically moving around the sheets, legs shaking as he began to speed up his pace. You didn't knew what an orgasm would feel like, or how you knew you would have one, but you gasped, chocking on unshed tears in frustration as you noticed that you couldn't tumble over that delicious edge, and Jungkook noticed, cooing at you. "Ah, my baby can't come without her little clit being touched?" He said, kissing the side of your neck, biting the skin teasingly before sucking a hickey on your collarbone, his hands now grabbing yours, fingers intertwining with his, before moving them around his neck, sensing how you wanted to be closer to him, even though that hardly seemed possible. "Come for me baby, you can do it." He said, kissing your shoulder as if to make up for his mark he'd left, his hand now reaching between your bodies, only needing to put a bit of pressure on your little nub to send you flying. You moaned out loud, uncaring on how you sounded, clinging onto him for dear life, his own release making him groan out as well.

He could feel your body trembling, your breathing still fast. He waited for a moment or two for himself to soften up so he could pull out gently- your still slightly clenching hole almost pushing his dick out of yourself. You whined at the empty feeling, and he hushed you gently, moving around so he was sitting up against his headboard, your body on his lap, head on his shoulder. His hand moved back and forth over your spine, the other keeping your body steadily against him. "You did so, so good baby." He gently whispered between your breaths still coming out a little faster than they should. "To be honest I actually was kind of worried you wouldn't be able to take it. I'm impressed princess." He said, making you giggle. You still weren't quite back yet, still bathing in your own afterglow, and he simply waited for you to calm down- slowly becoming aware of your surroundings again.

"Hey, Jungkookie.." You started with that nickname Taehyung always teased him with, yet you would get away with it anytime on his watch. He simply moved his head to look at you, even if you weren't at him. "Did you.. like, mean it? Are we.. a couple now, or?" You started a bit too softly, yet you didn't have to be scared of his answer to that.

He took a deep breath, before yawning a bit. "If you want us to be. I know I want to." He started, brushing some hair away from your eyes. You looked at him, big eyes so innocent like he didn't just fuck you into his mattress literally minutes ago.

"I want to!" You immediately said, making him chuckle and place a kiss on your nose, receiving a giggle at that, before you tensed up. He raised his eyebrows at that, before you looked at him surprised. "My legs are all- tingly.. Jungkook did you break me- HEY don't laugh!" You said, but he couldn't help himself.

He threw his head back, laughing his admittedly cute open laugh, before wrapping his arms around your body. "God I love you." He simply said, making you smile.

"Hey Jungkookie?" You said after a bit.

"Yeah Princess?" He answered.

"That McDonald's date still stands, right?" You said with a small voice, making him snort.

"Anything you want princess. Anything you want."

Taglist:

@mrcleanheichou @sugasbratz @sassysaxsolo @bananagukkie @wh3resangel @urmomgee

[tooruluv]

Tooru Oikawa x F!Reader ( part 6 )

❝ my love for him is much like winter, a skeleton for the world to see. too bad he never liked the cold. ❞

description: being the neighbor and lifelong best friend of tooru oikawa definitely had it’s perks. you were never an outcast, always had a seat at lunch, got into volleyball games for free. the problem was, however, that being in love with him outweighed those perks. you would never tell him that, though, even if it hurt like hell.

genre: best friends to lovers, angst, unrequited love, fluff if you squint hard enough

word count: 2,182

warnings/notes: didn’t know yall were SIMPS for kuroo... anyway here’s more angst for y’all

tag list: @afuckingunicornn​​ @maii-flowers​​ @clandestinerays​​ @brownandchill​​ @readeretal​​ @wedojustbevibin​​ @shigarakiskitten​​ @shittykawaa​​ @saeranoppa​ @srirachibi​

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“I brought the good nacho popcorn seasoning!” Kuroo told you as he rummaged around inside of his bag.

Tetsurou Kuroo had become a close friend in a short amount of time (it seems as though that was something happening to you often, these days). The “mall date” was full of conversation and laughter. You found out he was an only child, played volleyball himself and went to some camp, that he’s never had a girlfriend, and that he’s actually very funny. He grew on you.

You both sat on the couch, claiming it from your parents as you usually do on Saturday nights. This time, it was just with a different boy. Your parents didn’t mind.

Kuroo tossed the bottle to you once he found it. You caught it, and immediately started to pour it into the bowl that was full of popcorn and m&m’s.

Not too long after, the both of you had a scary movie on. You both sat on the couch, the bowl on the table in front of you. He sat with one leg tucked under his outstretched one, his arms crossed into his hoodie pockets. You sat next to him, a couple inches between so you don’t rub your leg against his. Your legs were brought to your chest.

“Are you cold?” Kuroo asked you, leaning forward to get a better look at your face.

“Just a little.”

Before you could protest, he took his hoodie off and held it out for you. You were about to deny his offer when he decided to lean back and literally shove the thing onto your head.

You were giggling when you pulled your arms through. “Thank you, but I could’ve just grabbed a blanket.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” He turned his attention back to the TV. Was that a blush? “You look good in red.”

You couldn’t help but smile. You moved closer to him, your body flush with his. His arm wrapped around your shoulder, something you hadn’t felt in a minute, and both of you smiled as someone got killed on screen.

Tooru Oikawa had always been your safety net. He was the one you went to for absolutely everything, even if it was a minor inconvenience. He was the one you called if you were lost, the one you exchanged looks with when the teacher would say something that could be passed as an innuendo, the one you would go to if you had a splinter or broken nail. And that safety would go both ways.

He would always show up in the middle of the night, or ask you to join him on the occasional Monday for you to watch him practice when he’s supposed to have the day off, or even facetime you just because.

Yet, this time, when you received a very drunk call from Oikawa, it didn’t feel normal.

You missed the call (it was at five in the morning), but you were left a very long voicemail from the boy.

“Nut!~” He slurred into the phone, basically directly onto the speaker. “Hello love. Hi. I drank a lot tonight. By myself. Very good. I should do this more often.”

You smiled to yourself. Oikawa hated being drunk, he would always make a point to never drink whenever he had the opportunity to. It was cute, the slurred and soft-spoken version of Oikawa you were receiving.

“I just wanted to say. I miss you. A lot. That’s why I came over the other day. I have so much I want to tell you but I…” Something muffled the speaker, and you couldn’t hear what exactly he was saying after that. Until, “Yeah, I just miss you a lot. I sleep now.”

You listened to it again.

Iwaizumi sent you a text Sunday. You were at dinner with your parents, out at some restaurant for the night. You went to the bathroom to read it (your parents had a rule: no phones at the dinner table if you’re eating as a family).

“I told my parents.” It said.

“You don’t drink.” You said to Oikawa Monday morning. You didn’t look at him, both of you at your lockers. He sent you a look.

“I don’t drink.” He repeated.

You finally shut your locker and looked up at him. The first time in a long time that you were talking. He seemed taller, thinner.

“Why were you drunk this weekend?”

Oikawa’s eyes wouldn’t meet yours. He shook his head. “I wasn’t.”

“You’re lying to me now?”

He shut his locker and started to walk down the hall. Before he could get far, you stepped in front of him and cut him off. He stopped.

“I got a voicemail from you.” You told him, and his eyes shot to yours. “I miss you, too. I don’t know why you won’t talk to me, but I miss you too.”

For a moment, it was just the both of you standing alone in the hallway. Like nothing else really mattered. He was finding the right words to say, and you waited for him to reply. Your chest was aching, and you wanted to throw the word “love” at him right then.

“I…I miss you a lot.” He finally said. You held back a smile. “But, um, can we talk? Later?”

“Yeah, yeah of course.” You were too eager, you knew. “We can talk later.”

Oikawa sent you a smile, something you missed, and your eyes found his tie. Before thinking, you reached up to tighten it. He chuckled.

“Yeah, I can’t fucking get this shit right.” He told you, letting you bring him closer to push it up. “Sana’s been fixing it at breakfast but I was running late this morning so we didn’t go.”

“Good thing I’m always here, huh?”

You walked next to Iwaizumi and Matsukawa on the way to lunch (the library). They were holding hands, openly smiling and giggling and being gay. You loved it.

“What was it like?” You asked them as you sat at the usual table.

“When I told my mom that I liked guys and I think I’m bisexual, do you want to know what she said?” Iwaizumi asked you. You nodded. “She said, and I quote, “well I can’t blame you, I like guys too”. I was so nervous for nothing. My dad even told me that it was okay and he’s fine with it as long as I’m happy, he just didn’t want to hear the details.”

“Your mom is iconic.”

Tooru Oikawa was not someone who could hide in a crowd. You could always pick him out of everyone, always spot him through the human traffic. It also helped that he was tall.

That being said, you found him instantly.

He wanted to meet at a park, as he was watching his nephew and his older brother was at work. You joined, of course, and you always found his nephew adorable.

You sat on the bench next to him. The very first time you have ever felt uncomfortable enough to sit further away from him. He noticed.

“We almost kissed.” He finally said, eyes following his nephew on the playset. He seemed tense, back straight and hands clasped together.

“Yeah.” You twisted your fingers in your lap. “Almost.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.” You were forgiven weeks ago.

“I do, though.” Oikawa finally looked at you. “I almost kissed you when I just became official with Sana the night before. I shouldn’t have done that. And I’m sorry.”

“I wasn’t upset about you almost kissing me.” You told him, staring at him. “I was never mad at that. It’s you ignoring me and avoiding me like the plague that I don’t particularly enjoy.”

“Right.” He bit the inside of his mouth. “I just…I couldn’t really…I felt really guilty. Having enough feelings to kiss you, but standing hand in hand with Sana. I haven’t told her about it.”

“I haven’t either.”

“Yeah, you two are close.”

“She’s very nice, and good company.” You told him. “You chose a good one.”

“Thank you.”

“I’m sorry, too.”

He blinked a couple of times, like his eyes would fix what he heard. “What are you apologizing for?”

“Everything. Me and Iwa talked some shit about you.”

“I’m not surprised, I’ve been acting like a dick.”

“Ah, we prefer the word asshole.”

You both chuckled, and you ducked your head. His eyes were back on his nephew, who waved at you both from the top of the castle.

“Listen, I’m not going to push you to be my friend again.” You said. “If I make you uncomfortable or make you question your relationship, I’m not going to be mad at you.”

“Be your friend again.” He mumbled, shaking his head like it was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard. “I never considered us not being friends. And you would never make me uncomfortable, ever. I just…”

“I know.” You stood up. His eyes jumped to you, head tilting up. “Let me know when you figure out whatever you need to figure out. Until then, I’m still right next door and a drunk call away.”

His mouth gaped as if you offended him, but there was a smile behind it. “God damn it, nut, just delete the voicemail!”

“No, I think I’ll keep it.” You brought your phone out and played it. His drunken slur came over the speakers. “Nut! Hello love. Hi!” you mocked him as his voice played.

Oikawa stood up, face red. “Oh my god! Stop! That’s embarrassing!”

He chased you as you continued to mimic him over the voicemail. You didn’t know every word, of course, but you knew when he was going to say certain things. You laughed as he chased you onto the playground.

“Takeru! Help!” you called, holding the phone up so Oikawa couldn’t get it.

“No, Takeru!” he called for his nephew. “Give me the phone, she’s a traitor!”

“Nice try, Uncle.” Takeru grabbed your phone and shook it from his spot on the very top. “She already told me that you were the spy for the English. We must take you to jail! Thank you, Auntie, for the valuable information. We will promote you to Head Knight.”

You giggled at Oikawa’s surprised and embarrassed face. You mouthed “Head Knight” at him, pointing at yourself. He rolled his eyes, but kept smiling at you.

You wore Kuroo’s hoodie the next time you met up with him. A fun fact about Kuroo: the man loves coffee. So, you weren’t surprised when he asked to meet at a coffee shop around the corner from where you buy alcohol. You wonder what he would say if you told him about buying shit from there.

“Damn, that hoodie looks familiar.” He told you when you sat across from him.

“Yeah, it’s comfy.” You said, smiling. “A pretty cool dude let me borrow it.”

“Ah, he let you keep it.” He corrected, hands already around a warm cup of black coffee.

You raised a brow. “I guess I’ll keep it then.”

“So…” Sana threw a piece of candy into the air to catch in her mouth. “You and Kuroo?”

This time, it was Iwaizumi and Sana at your house. Your two best friends. It was a strange combo, to you, as you always separated them in your head. But they actually got along quite easily, immediately started to roast and complain about Oikawa.

The three of you were in your bedroom. You sat on your bed, Iwaizumi on the floor by the door, and Sana sat in your desk chair. You were playing a game: try to catch the candy in your mouth. So far, Iwaizumi was winning (he hadn’t missed a single one, even if your throws were trash).

“What about me and Kuroo?”

“Oh, come on,” Sana scoffed, shaking her head. “You have been spending a lot of time with him. Spill.”

“There’s nothing to spill.” You caught a piece she threw up for you. As you chewed, “We’re very good friends. He’s cool.”

“Alright that’s it. Who is it?”

“Who is what?” you blinked.

“The other boy.”

You gulped, looking quickly at Iwaizumi. He just looked at you, wide eyed and confused.

“You told me that you’ve had a thing for another boy for a long time but he doesn’t feel the same.” Sana continued, her attention fully on you. “And he’s obviously the reason that you’re not going for Kuroo. You’re in love with someone else, and you’re throwing away a perfectly good relationship with someone who actually likes you.” She leaned forward. “So, I’ll ask again. Who is the boy?”

You didn’t say anything, your silence the only answer you could give. Iwaizumi’s eyes went back and forth between you two, staying just as silent.

“Who is it?” Sana asked again, held tilted. When you looked at the floor, it was like a rush of realization dawned on her. The air turned tense, but not negative. Like you couldn’t breathe.

“Oh.”

[moshymosh]

Drunken Shenanigans: The Nitty Gritty

A/N: This is part two of the interview, now after writing this I’m kinda having writer's block for the next part, send me some suggestions on how to continue it. This is a very weird part but its silly. Sebastian's porn talk its taken from an actual podcast so the credit goes to its owner you can listen to it here. What Richards and the Reader sing is taken from one of the most hilarious people I know on youtube, who plays six seige this is the video check it out it’s in the first couple seconds of the video but the whole video is comedy gold.

Warnings: Talk of porn, language. some slight fluff if you squint hard enough.

Parings: Sebastian Stan x Podcaster!Reader

Soulmate AU: Throughout a person’s life they get glimpses of what their soulmate looks and sounds like. You get the full picture when you kiss the person. When you kiss them you also get a flash of your future together with them.

"Sebastian, since you are our guest, please do us the honor and spin the wheel?" Y/N giggled, putting on her best Vana White impression as she could from her seat. Sebastian laughed and got up from his seat, placing his headphones down the table.

"So, I just spin it?" He asked, once he received a confirmation, that is all he had to do. Sebastian took a deep breath and spun it. Moving back to his seat, he got settled, taking a drink of his beer, before almost spitting it out at the sight of the topic it landed on; ' What do you think your soulmate looks like.'

Y/N grinned and spun in her wheelie chair to the mic. "We want all the details." She said, looking at Sebastian. "Richards is exempt from this because he married his soulmate."

"Oh. Uhh... god, this is going to be weird. From the glimpses, I've- Uh... Had, she has Y/H/C hair, Y/E/C eyes, and a beautiful voice." Sebastian stuttered out. "I mean, I could take up the rest of this Interview just talkin' about her."

"Lovesick already?" Richards teases, causing Y/N to snort.

"Hush up, Rich. You were the same way about your husband before you met him." Y/N says before taking a drink. "I, on the other hand, kinda know what my soulmate looks like, but I don't really care."

"Why's that Y/N?" Sebastian askes, his cheeks tinged pink from the alcohol and Richards' teasing.

"I don't know, I mean his voice sounds amazing. But I don't know if I fully believe in the soulmate thing. My subconscious could be putting those images and sounds into my head." Y/N explained before getting up to take a turn spinning the wheel. Spinning it Y/N went back to her seat, stumbling slightly.

"Oh shit. 'First time discovering porn.'." Y/N read the topic out, clapping her hands as she laughed. She was gesturing to Sebastian, asking if he would like another beer. She went and got refills as Richards began telling his story.

Once both Y/N and Richards finished their stories of discovering porn, they were all giggling messes. Sebastian cleared his throat and began to tell his story.

"Let's see I was- Uh... I was 13 or 14 there was no porn online, there was none of that stuff, right? I would get like naked girl pictures." Sebastian started smiling when Y/N mumbled 'Oh My God.' into her mic as she shook her head. Sebastian was too drunk to realize that when she said this, she sounded just like his soulmate.

"And- And so I started this file that I hid like 15 files deep." Sebastian stopped as Richards laughed.

"What- What was the file folder called?" Richards asked, trying to settle his giggling.

"Probably something like 'Structure work.'." Everyone who sat around the table laughed. Y/N dropped her head on the table with a thud as she laughed.

"Then one day, my step-dad was in his office with the computer, and he was like 'Will you come in here Sebastian?' and I remember he had like all the pictures of like boobs and vaginas spread and the whole deal. They were everywhere, right?" Sebastian had to stop to compose himself and took a drink.

"And he was like 'We need to talk about this.' I was like he was like going to fucking kill me." Sebastian starts to crack up as he continues his story. "He was like 'This-This ones pretty good.'." Everyone in the casting room starts to laugh at this.

"And I was like, 'Oh... Yeah.' he was literally looked at me and was like ' I'm so happy, son because..." Sebastian begins to crack up again. "'Because your mom and I, we thought you were gay.'." Everyone is laughing with him, far past the point of being called tipsy.

As they all progressed the wheel game, they were all getting distracted at random things. Richards was trying to drunk booty call his husband, who was laughing at him from behind the observation glass. Y/N was mumbling songs, and Sebastian was watching her with a dreamy look.

Y/N giggled before she began to sing, Richards joining with parts of the song.

"Skrt, miss me with that bullshit." Y/N began Richards jumped in with a 'Yeah, you're not a gang member you're a tourist.'

"I be blackin' out, I be blackin' out. Bought an '83 cutlass for the weekend." Y/N mumbled, bouncing in her seat as she sang the words. 'For de weekend.' Richards sang back in a weird voice.

"I got a hundred thousand than I freaked it." Y/N and Richards sang the 'Then I freaked it.' Part together. "I make five hundred thousand. Then I freaked it." The same thing happened again. Sebastian was laughing at the pair.

"I got big dog status, ain't no secret." Y/N sang, getting more confident, slightly giggling as Richards sang back, "Ain't no secret."

"La di da di da, Slob on me knob. Pass me some syrup. Fuck me in the car." Both Y/N and Richards dissolved into giggles.

"Y/N/N. You just peaked, you peaked so hard." Richards laughed out, shaking his head. "I should just put you down."

Y/N got up from her chair, her arms outstretched "Lord strike me down!"

Sebastian laughed a drunkenly took a picture of the girl's antics.

"And on that note." Richards slurred into the mic "Goodbye, everyone, see you in two weeks."

Once Y/N's employees cut the cast and began to set it up to post, Richards' husband came in to collect him, to bring him home. Y/N was slumped in her seat, groaning as she fumbled with her phone. Once she figured out what she wanted to do, she slid it to Sebastian across the table.

"Dude, can I have your-" Y/N hiccuped and shook her head with a smile. "Can I have your number, so I can check on you in the morning, cause I know I'll get a lie from your publicist."

Sebastian nodded while he grabbed her phone. He began typing it in, when he was finished, he checked the number four times to make sure it was right before he drunkenly texted his phone. Sebastian's assistant came in to lead the drunken man to the car that would take him back to his hotel.

Y/N sighed after sitting alone for ten minutes before Y/B/F/N came in to take her home. All three of the trio fell asleep instantly as soon as their bodies hit their beds. Once Y/N awoke the next morning, with a semi-head-splitting headache, she sent a text to Richards' husband asking how Richards was. Getting no response, she texted Sebastian.

Y/N: Yo, hows your head? Seb: I hate you -.- Y/N: Haha, if so, you have to admit you had fun. Seb: Yeah, Yeah. That's true, but at what cost?

Y/N laughed at her phone before receiving a message from Sasha, stating that she sent Stan the finished podcast.

Y/N: Sasha, my assistant, just said that she sent you the podcast. Enjoy :)

Sebastian listened to it as he began his morning workout. Getting to the point when Y/N said, 'Oh My God.' he stumbled on the treadmill, causing it to use its emergency stop feature. Sebastian listened to that section three times before it dawned on him. Y/N was his soulmate.

Y/N just stepped out of the shower after coming back from her morning run, and almost slipped on the wet tile floor beneath her as she read Sebastian's text.

Seb: I think that you're my soulmate.

[purplesurveys]

481

What is something you'll never eat again? Why? Mangoes. My grandmother always forced me to eat them when I was a kid and it made me hate fruits forever, but especially mangoes. What is currently happening that is scaring you? I have a new executive position in my org that’ll basically be me handling all external affairs – org partnerships, sponsorships, answering e-mails, etc. – and it’s a far cry from the secretarial position I held last year. I’m terrified as this is the biggest leap from my comfort zone that I’ve ever done. What would be your personal hell? If I had to spend time with the noisy fucking child who ruined mine and Gabie’s Toy Story 4 experience in the cinema. Kid was directly a row behind us and would babble every goddamn line she caught from the film and repeat it 60 times after. Also had restless hands and touched my head and hair several times throughout. Guardians didn’t seem to give a shit. I had to spend half the movie leaning forward just to tell her guardians a message, which they never seemed to get. What made the 'weird kid' at your school weird? All the ~weird kids at school seemed to share a personality – hated people, would never say a word, was into anime, can be weirdly violent, can get very aggressive, and had the strangest sense of fashion, e.g. earmuffs in tropical weather, oversized sweaters, chunky sneakers with wings on them. Also always seemed to fail classes. What is a word you personally find offensive? Personally, I don’t think there’s any. What I find offensive are those we already understand generally as being that: the n-word, the f-slur for gay people, etc.

What instantly puts you to sleep? Scrolling through Reddit or watching on YouTube. What song is in a language you don't speak, but you love it anyway? La Vie en Rose. What is something you would like to do if you weren’t judged for doing it? Maybe talking about surveys like it’s a normal thing? I wanna share this aspect of my life with Gabie really bad since I sincerely enjoy it and it’s helped with my mental health, and I’m sure she’ll be understanding too; I guess I just don’t know how to explain it to her without sounding like I talk to and about myself on my spare time. What's a movie you think everyone should watch? Why that one? Your Name. It’s stacked with beautiful imagery, a meaningful plot, and just the most breathtaking score, dialogue, and emotion I’ve seen in film. What was the most unexpected good thing that's ever happened to you? Getting into UP. Competition is tough every year; I just never thought I’d be given the opportunity as well. What is the funniest fact you know? The only thing that comes to mind is that dude from the Civil War who got shot and died immediately after he was just saying  how his group was in the best hiding place and that no one could ever spot them. It’s a little morbid and even rude to find it funny, but still. What is your biggest nightmare? Failing. Not getting the family I want. If you didn't have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time? Take a load more surveys, watch a lot more films, drive around at midnight. What's the kindest way a stranger has treated you? Maybe the time I tripped and sprained my ankle, and everyone just stared until this guy ran up to me, helped me up, and made sure I was okay. What is the biggest design flaw of your body? Probably my boobs. What age are you afraid of turning and why? I’m not afraid of getting older. Where is your happy place? Skywalk. What makes you really angry? Animal abuse, ughhhhhhh. What's the simplest way you can be pleased? With food. What is a crossover you want to see? Paramore and The Japanese House. What is the strangest thing you have ever felt? When I’m in public and am expected to be put together, but the anxiety starts creeping in. Where do you see yourself in 1 hour? I’ll probably be making something up for breakfast. What makes someone immediately unlikable? Political opinions, and if those opinions say anything about what they think about human rights that I wouldn’t appreciate. Who's a villain you sympathize with and why? SHARPAY EVANS. Poor girl just kept getting bullied and ridiculed even though she just wanted the best for the drama club and a solo with Troy. I was pissed when she got into a small university in Albuquerque in HSM3 while the rest got into Stanford, UCLA, Yale, and all the other fancier schools. Sis needed more justice. What is something you regret to NOT have done? Ran for class positions in grade school and high school. I really feel like I would have been able to pull it off; just didn’t have a lot of trust in myself back then. What's the weirdest thing you put in a microwave? Ok so fun fact: we just got a microwave for the first time last week AND I AM STILL SO EXCITED ABOUT IT. I see it all the time in movies and vlogs and I’ve always been so envious shjshsfkjshf anyway since it’s brand-new, I still haven’t gotten the hang of it like what kind of containers I can put in it or how long I’m supposed to heat things up for. I’m really really scared of things exploding so I haven’t put anything other than food that’s meant to be microwaved. What movie changed your life for the better? Two for the Road. What book you think should be directed as a film? The Septimus Heap series. It was my favorite series growing up and I would so haul my 21 year old ass to the cinema if they decide to turn it into a movie. Of all the decades you've lived in, which one have you liked best? 2000s, mostly because I was a kid and had no worries back then. How are you doing today? I’m doing okay. I’m happy to be stuck at home but man am I huungry. What's something your relatives don't know about you? That I have a girlfriend. Some cousins and aunts and uncles know, but that’s a small speck compared to how big my family actually is. What's the worst song to strip to? Anything from One Direction, and I’m speaking as a fan. What's something your parents did, which you have sworn never to do? Make me feel guilty for asking for money. What did you eat a few minutes ago? I haven’t eaten :( Have you ever found a stranger's note somewhere? If so, what did it say? I don’t think so, no. What's the most annoying thing your pet does? He’ll push his water bowl around for no reason and it gets the whole area wet. What's the biggest sum of money you've won? Not a lot lmao; a thousand bucks. I don’t really join contests. Have you ever had Pac-Man fever? Nope.

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Kevin Pillar Can Redeem Himself by Becoming an LGBT Ally in Baseball

This article originally appeared on VICE Sports Canada.

Kevin Pillar's regrettable, out-of-frustration remark last week instantly changed the glowing discussion about him.

Agitated by a Braves reliever who quick-pitched him, the Blue Jays center fielder mouthed a homophobic slur after striking out that was caught on camera and spread rapidly on social media. There was no confusing what Pillar said: The 26-year-old shouted the f-word at Atlanta's Jason Motte in a brief but heated moment that was met with disdain. It offered a quick reminder of the offensive and hurtful language that still exists in sports culture in 2017, and was damaging to Pillar's otherwise stellar reputation.

"Any time something like this happens, your initial reaction is disappointment," Brian Kitts, co-founder and president of LGBT supporting organization You Can Play, told VICE Sports. "You like to think that sports in particular and society in general have moved on. It's just not acceptable. At some point you're doing it to denigrate or make somebody else feel bad. We've all played sports and understand what happens, but those slurs are not part of the game and don't need to be."

Pillar, who was handed a two-game suspension by the Blue Jays, took steps to own up to his mistake the next day, apologizing to the LGBT community for the lack of respect he displayed, while acknowledging that the word has no place in today's society. He said he was "embarrassed" and felt "horrible," and spoke about using this lesson as an opportunity to better himself.

"I think that Kevin handled it really well," Kitts said. "We always look for an immediate understanding that you've messed up and then that acknowledgement that you can learn from this. That's the best we can hope for when we work for this type of culture change, that you acknowledge there's an issue and you either want to learn more about it or make it better in some way."

Watch more from VICE Sports: Brian Anderson on Being a Gay Professional Skateboarder

MLB ambassador for inclusion Billy Bean said he was extremely disappointed and heartbroken when he first heard of the incident, but felt Pillar's apology was "very earnest and sincere." Bean, the most recognized openly-gay figure in the sport, recalls the "f-word" uttered frequently in clubhouse conversation during his playing days, which lasted into the early 1990s after having spent parts of six seasons with the Tigers, Dodgers, and Padres. That lack of tolerance and inclusiveness is partially what drove him to retirement in 1995 at the age of 31, a decision he regrets today. He still loved the game, but as an active player did not feel comfortable disclosing that he was gay (he went public with his sexual orientation in 1999).

Bean's concern is that derogatory comments like Pillar's—although seemingly not premeditated nor meant to be intentionally slanderous to the LGBT community—is a step backward and potentially discouraging to players who identify as gay or bisexual.

"We were not told that [saying homophobic slurs] was unacceptable. So you perpetuate stereotypes, you perpetuate a collective, embedded thought that, 'Well I guess it's OK if somebody that I look up to uses that terminology,'" Bean told VICE Sports. "That's why it's so important from ownership to team presidents to managers that we change that culture where hopefully the first thought that comes to an athlete in the heat of the battle won't be a word that's disparaging towards the LGBT community."

The problem with change, especially with issues of this nature, is that it comes slow. Painfully slow. Mindsets, formed at an early age, can be difficult to alter.

It has been over 70 years since Jackie Robinson broke the colour barrier and became the first African American to play an MLB game in 1947, yet just a couple of weeks ago racism was brought to the forefront again when Orioles outfielder Adam Jones was the subject of slurs at Boston's Fenway Park.

LGBT activists concede that this type of language is difficult to eradicate from the game.

Billy Bean addresses the media on the Mets' Pride Night in summer 2016. Photo by Andy Marlin-USA TODAY Sports

"We look at this type of work as a long game. It took years and years to get language involving race or religion out of locker rooms and sports venues so we see this as the same thing," Kitts said. "We understand that it takes a while; you start using this type of language when you're 10 or 11 years old and you grow up with it. I don't think it's a surprise that it still gets used."

The battle against the use of homophobic terminology is in its infancy compared to the one against racism. It was only in 2013 that MLB issued a zero-tolerance policy prohibiting players from harassing and discriminating against other players based on their sexual orientation.

"Five years ago, we weren't having these types of discussions at all. I think that with the big leagues we've got and a lot of the groups we work with who are even willing to have these discussions means that you're making progress," Kitts said.

Pillar's necessary suspension demonstrated that there's no admissible excuse for using a gay slur. While there's surely differing opinions on whether an unpaid two-game ban was the correct punishment, the overwhelming reaction showed that people do care and demand accountability.

"Ten years ago, this would not be the case. It would have come and gone and people would have said, 'It's a shame he got caught saying it.' Players are ultimately going to be responsible for their own actions," Bean said. "But the Blue Jays stood up immediately—Pillar is a huge part of their organization but even still, they said loud and clear this is unacceptable behaviour within our organization."

Blue Jays president Mark Shapiro (left) with MLB commissioner Rob Manfred. The Blue Jays consulted with the league and PA about Pillar's punishment. Photo by Dan Hamilton-USA TODAY Sports

As he has continued to grow and adapt in his own role, Bean's message to players about inclusion has become more philosophical in nature. He has tried to emphasize the responsibility and power that comes with the platform they hold as MLB players. Nowadays, especially on the field, it is difficult to do or say anything and not get caught on camera. Even one momentary lapse of judgment has the chance to instantly go viral on social media.

While it's too early to gauge what type of long-term damage this incident will have on Pillar's reputation, the talk surrounding Toronto's leadoff hitter quickly shifted from his breakout year to his worst moment as a professional. Discussion and perception can change on a dime.

"The players move our message faster than anyone else can in a good or bad way," Bean said. "One of the ways that I want to challenge the players is to ask them, 'Do you want to be remembered for what you do on the field or what you've said in a moment of indiscretion?'

"You work a lifetime to get to the big leagues and it's a lot in the heat of the battle trying to think clearly—more than one person has made a mistake in that situation."

If Pillar makes an effort, the discussion can get back to what he's doing on the field. Photo by Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Ducks captain Ryan Getzlaf got caught up in his own controversy days after Pillar for making a comment the NHL deemed inappropriate but many felt was homophobic. And in April 2016, then-Blackhawks forward Andrew Shaw was involved in a similar situation to that of Pillar, as he was caught on camera using a homophobic slur and was levied a one-game suspension. He made an effort over the last year after getting traded to Montreal to make amends for his actions, and volunteered to be the Canadiens' You Can Play ambassador for the NHL's "Hockey Is For Everyone" campaign this season.

Taking action like Shaw did is how Pillar can help promote real change and show the LGBT community he stands by their side.

"Andrew did the appropriate apology but I think the other thing you look for is what someone is willing to do and he became an advocate for his team," Kitts said. "The team had already designated somebody else as their ambassador and Andrew stepped up and said he would like to be the one to work on behalf of the LGBT outreach that the team was doing. I think that says a lot about his character and his willingness to acknowledge the mistake and do something to try to make it better, not just for him but for everyone who was offended."

Like Shaw at the time, Pillar said that he did not want this moment to define his career. His manager John Gibbons said the same thing. As far as Kitts and members of You Can Play are concerned, it does not have to.

"What defines you is what you do in the aftermath of a situation where a mistake has been made," said Kitts. "It's about the apology and then genuinely understanding how a kid can be hurt by this language and those attitudes and then following up in a way that provides some education to everybody.

"When somebody makes a mistake and is willing to say they want to be part of the discussion and educational process, that's ideal."

Billy Bean throws out a first pitch while supporting victims of the Orlando terrorist attack. Photo by Kim Klement-USA TODAY Sports

Bean stressed that it's important for those hurt by Pillar's comments to be willing to forgive if he makes a tangible effort to make amends for his actions. That, he said, will help move the conversation forward and promote positive change.

"I would implore anybody in my own community that if we don't have compassion for people making an effort to change, then all the great bravery and pioneering efforts of the LGBT community to change the course of history and stereotypes and fighting for equal civil rights goes by the wayside," Bean said. "I would have a difficult time relating to someone who says you are one-and-done in this life and ask them how they would like to be treated if they ever make a mistake."

As society works to continue advancing tolerance and inclusiveness, the only way to do that is for there to be consequences at every indiscretion, which is why Pillar's suspension was appropriate.

Damage has already been done, but what matters now is his actions moving forward. Pillar has the opportunity and platform to turn this situation into a positive.

Kevin Pillar Can Redeem Himself by Becoming an LGBT Ally in Baseball published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv