#AND IT IS HEADING TOWARDS WHATEVER YOU HOLD DEAREST YOUR FATE DRAWS EVER CLOSER SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE

[third-king-of-salmonids]

HUH THAT GLOW CAN FLY

[ornamental-eyepatch]

"Promises"

Got caught up in the devil!Julian hype, so here's a devil!Julian x gnMC (first person) fic which happens to involve a certain role reversal near the end. This is my first fic with any spice level, so please be kind!

Warnings: destructive codependency (like, everything bad from Julian AND Nadia's reversed routes), violence (only once, at beginning), some bondage, melodrama, romance, angst.

Spice level: mild to medium (might do a lemon follow up later?)

I watch Julian warily as he paces the throne room. Like an animal hunting its prey, his muscles are taut and his gaze seeks restlessly around him, as if he's searching for something.

He's been like this more and more lately. The thrill of his newfound power and the unusually cool demeanor it brought had only lasted so long. We've spent less and less time around each other, barely talking even in passing. He sends me off to practice my magic each day, and barely acknowledges me when I return.

He hasn't touched me in days.

I'm aching for him, but I'm reluctant to admit to myself that I miss the way we were before. Back in Vesuvia. Before he became the Devil.

From across the room, I see him pause, hunching his tall frame to rest one hand on each arm of the throne, his back turned to me.

I can't help myself.

“Julian…”

At the sound of my voice, his whole body tenses. His hands clench around the throne, and in the next moment he flings it across the room. It flies far over my head and hits the opposite wall, where it shatters into dust. I'm frozen where I stand, looking at the man I loved (still love?) as he meets my eyes with a desperate ferocity, his breaths quick and shallow from the sudden exertion.

He abruptly turns away.

“It isn't enough!” The words escape him in a shout that's somewhere between a squawk and a bleat, echoing around the tall, empty throne room.

Before I can stop myself, I take a step towards him.

“No!” As if he can feel me approaching, he whirls back to look at me, fury painted across his angular face. In an instant, he disappears.

I approach the dais where he had stood, starting with cautious steps but breaking into a run by the time I'm halfway there.

“Julian? Julian!?” I shout his name accusingly into the empty space where the throne and its occupant so recently stood. There's no reply.

Is he invisible, hiding from me? Has he grown to hate me that much? Or has he simply gone — leaving the realm for who knows how long? He had said becoming the Devil was the only way to protect me, after we had tried and failed to imprison the previous Devil together. How could he leave me here like this, after everything we’ve been through?

I sink down to the top stair of the dais, my face in my hands as hot tears sting my eyes.

“My dear, really? Tears? Whatever for?”

I stand up with a start and turn to face the voice.

There, on the center of the dais, sitting on a pristine throne, is the Devil. Julian.

I bite my lip, choking back the rest of my tears.

“Because of you.” My voice is shaky, hesitant.

“I'm sorry, what was that?”

He crooks a finger, compelling me to approach. I feel my feet moving even as I try to stop them. Still, my voice works.

“It's your fault.” I'm louder this time. I bring myself to meet his eyes, and within them I see a strange mix of emotion. Anger and impatience and… something else?

“What is my fault? Do tell, pet. You know you can tell me whatever you wish.”

The smile he gives me is cold, crooked, showing a large number of sharp teeth. It's a shadow of how he used to smile, when we lived in Vesuvia. When he was human.

Having brought me to the edge of the dais, in front of the throne, he releases me from his thrall. I don't try to back away, I'm determined to face him. To face whatever has come between us.

“All of this. My tears. This realm. I followed you to hell. I told you I'd stay with you no matter what, and this is what happened. We’ve grown apart. It’s like I don’t even know you.”

Julian looks me up and down, with aching slowness, as if he's sizing me up. I wait for him to reply…

And he crooks his finger at me again. I'm not magically compelled this time, but I still obey, approaching him. When I'm close enough to the throne that I could reach out and touch him if I tried (if I dared?) I bend my knees, beginning to kneel.

“Ah, ah, ah...” He shakes his head. I straighten, confused.

Slowly, as if he has to force his limbs to move, he reaches his arms towards me. His hands are extended, palms up. There's a look in his eyes that I haven't seen since our first days in this realm. It's hungry. Passionate. Desperate.

Gingerly, I place my hands into his palms.

His hands close over mine in a flash, claws digging in hard enough to break my skin, but I don't care. Julian has pitched forward, off the throne and onto his knees on the floor in front of me. He buries his face in the fabric of my clothes, and though his speech is muffled, I can hear his words in my head. I feel the force of them in my body and in the air, as if he were crying out loudly enough to make the vast emptiness of the throne room resound.

“I know. My darling… my love... I know, and I'm so sorry. For everything. For all of this. For trapping you here with me, for thinking we could still love each other… All I wanted was to be with you, to be able to protect you, but even the Devil's power isn't enough. I'm not strong enough to use it. I can protect you from everything else, but not myself. I can’t bear the way I’ve been treating you. I can't bear feeling like we're becoming strangers to each other. Dearest…” His voice breaks as sobs shake his body. He releases my hands, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist and clinging to me as a doomed soul clings to their last shred of hope.

“Oh, Julian…” I tilt my head down, murmuring his name into his hair as I stroke his auburn curls, delicately guiding them around his horns.

“...I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much.”

“I miss you, too. Desperately. You don’t know how lonely it feels, being tied to this realm. The energy of the Devil grants strength, yes, but it brings the most profound sense of isolation which grows more powerful each day… But I can never go back. I’ve made that decision. You, however…”

Drawing back from me, he rises to one knee, taking my hands in his claws with a touch as gentle as his hands ever were.

“...You can leave, my love. Just go.”

What? Now that I know that the real Julian, my Julian, is still here with me somewhere, there’s no chance I’ll abandon him to this lonely fate.

“No.”

“You can't stay. I'll destroy you.” His brow is furrowed, eyes gleaming with earnest concern for me. I happen to look behind him at the throne, and hesitate despite myself when I think how easily he had shattered the previous one. But—

“I have an idea. Make me a deal.”

“What?”

“You heard me. You’re the Devil. Make a deal with me so I can stay. We can rule this realm together. You won't have to bear the Devil's power alone.”

“I can't, darling. I won’t. Deals are so tricky, so dangerous. I can’t trust myself not to use that power to harm you, even if I don’t want to. It’s simply part of my nature.”

“What if we didn’t call it a deal, then? What if we offered each other... promises, instead? Would your magic still work?”

Julian's eyes widen. “It… it would. But no, I still can't. My dearest, any promise you make me, especially in this realm, is the start of a slippery slope. It could cost you your soul.”

Shaking my head as I regard him with a wistful smile, I turn my hands within his so I can cup his face without disentangling myself from his grasp. When my skin touches his cheeks he shivers, eyelids half-closing. I can feel the tension in his jaw and sense how it radiates through his entire trembling body, as if it’s taking him a huge effort to stay present, with me, and not draw away from the touch I know he craves.

“Julian, you’re the Devil now. Don't you see? Any promises we make will only pull me closer to you. My soul is already yours.”

He shakes his head and tries to pull away from me, but I tighten my grip, holding his chin so he’s forced to look at me. His adam’s apple bobs in his throat, and his lips part ever so slightly.

“Julian, trust me. This is what I want. This is all I want. I love you.”

His heavy-lidded eyes close, and his hands trace their way up my arms, lingering on my skin with a feather-light touch. It’s as if he’s making sure I’m real. When he opens his eyes, it’s to look at me pleadingly.

“Oh, darling… my love. Yes. Yes, please. Please, before I lose myself, and lose you.”

“All right. First… promise you won’t disappear again like you just did.”

“Yes, my dear. I promise. And, in return, you… will you promise not to go practice magic without telling me?”

“I promise, Julian. Will you let me teach you to use your new magic?”

“I would like that very much, dearest. Yes. And will you let me tell you stories of the old days in Nevivon?”

“Yes, darling, I would love to hear your stories. And would you…”

We continue trading promises, and as we do, I lower myself to my knees so I’m on the same level as Julian. Our hands meet and we intertwine our fingers with one another.

From behind Julian, I see chains materializing at the foot of the Devil’s throne. As the room continues to buzz with the low echoes of our whispered agreements, the chains slither silently towards us across the polished surface of the dais. I feel them slide up my legs, around my body, and over my arms, but I keep going. So does Julian, even as he becomes just as cocooned in chains as I am. The metal coils itself around our joined hands, cool to the touch, but its tight grip causes me no pain.

Even so, I can’t help it when my eyes begin to swim with tears. I have one last thing to ask for.

“... Julian, will you promise never to ask me to leave you again?”

“Of course, my love. Of course I won’t. And in return…” He gulps back a sob, squeezing my fingers more tightly in his. “...Please, will you promise never to leave me here alone?”

I blink once, slowly. Then,

“Never. You have my word.”

The chains around us tighten. I feel them suddenly become white-hot, searing my skin. I must be screaming, but my own voice is drowned out by a cry of agony from Julian, which resounds through the throne room. I don’t know what else to do but cling to him in desperation as my vision fades…

“Get up.”

I look down at Julian’s prone form on the polished floor at my feet. At my words, he stirs, slowly pushing himself up from the floor. I watch as his gaze travels slowly from my feet up my legs, over my body, and finally to my face.

“You’re… different.”

The hint of a smirk curves the corner of my mouth as I grant him a curt nod of confirmation. I reach out with my magic to feel the now-invisible chain which still connects us, binding us together with the weight of our promises, and then give it an experimental tug. Julian’s body jerks toward me, and his eyes widen. He manages to balance himself on his hands and knees as I slowly approach him, my steps echoing off the polished floor with a new solemnity. Wrapping my magic around the chain and holding it taut, I pull Julian up so he’s on his knees in front of me, arms hanging at his side. I see his fingers flexing, twitching, but he holds himself still. That's good. I bend down close enough that my breath stirs his hair as I whisper into his ear.

“This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”

My lips barely brush his skin before I pull away, turning to look into his eyes, mere inches from his face. I run a finger along his jawline, and I can feel him tremble even from that light touch. The shivers run down his spine, and then I can sense his body relax. Encouraged, I give the Devil's chain another tug.

“Tell me, Julian. Is this what you wanted?”

“Oh… yes. Yes, it is. You are. What I want, I mean. What I always wa— mmmffpfh!” I wrap my hand around the back of his neck, twining my claws through his hair, as I stifle his words by forcing his mouth to mine. His lips work over mine, cautiously at first, and then more fervently as his hunger grows. I trace my tongue around the edge of his mouth, intoxicated to be tasting him again, before biting down hard on his lower lip. I feel his low moan in my throat as his body keens toward me and his desire echoes wordlessly inside my head with a single meaning: More.

I pull his hair, ripping Julian's starving mouth from mine as his head tilts up toward the impossibly high ceiling. His arms fumble against my legs, but I wind more chains around them, trapping them securely behind his back.

Moving my lips over his skin, I trace a line of kisses from the corner of his mouth to his jawline, and finally to just beneath his ear. I take my time, waiting longer and longer between kisses, drawing out his excruciating anticipation. With each move I make, Julian’s cries grow more desperate.

“Oh, my love, I’ll do anything. Anything. Yes, yes, yes, please…”

Without warning, I stop kissing him. I take a step closer, so that my body is pressed against his chest as he kneels before me. I let go of his hair, but use the chain to pull his head toward his bound hands, forcing his back into an even greater arch. I bend myself over him and look down into his eyes. My fingers wander lazily over the surface of his horns: it's maddening to him and I know it, being aware that I'm touching him but unable to feel it except for when my fingers brush past errant strands of his hair.

“Yes, you will. You’ll do anything for me, Julian, because we both belong to this realm now.”

I dart back down to his neck, taking an eager, greedy bite of the muscle between his ear and shoulder, working his skin hungrily between my teeth even while caressing him with my tongue. Julian moans audibly, and presses himself against me. After releasing him, I draw one eyetooth along his deliciously vulnerable neck until my mouth is level with his ear.

As he gasps, I whisper, “Now I can take care of you, and I’ll make sure you take care of me… I promise.”