I'm still very early in gintama but I just finished episode 13 and I'm obsessed with how gintoki describes having important people in your life and loss.
It's inverse to the widespread way that it's generally described in both media and life- that being, loss as a heavy feeling that weighs on the soul, negative emotions in general are described as heavy, connoting burden; whilst the opposite of that is a feeling of lightness, usually referring to how significant (in a positive sense) people in our lives can lift us up and help us carry our burden, as well as the fun, genuine joy that can be experienced around the people we love.
This is a very valid and real description of it, in my own experiences I have felt heaviness, so I completely understand where this representation comes from and I recognise and appreciate it. But the difference is why gintamas depiction sticks out to me.
Gintoki describes the deep care he feels for his friends as 'heavy'.
He quotes Tokugawa Ieyasu, saying, "To live a full life means to carry a heavy burden throughout a long journey." Gintoki's words are as follows:
"It's not really a burden...Everyone's got both hands full of something that matters. You just don't realise it when you're carrying it. It's only after you drop it that you realise how heavy it was in the first place."
Later, when he's literally carrying kagura and shinpachi he says, "you guys are heavy, damnit."
And I'm just really in love with this flipping of the negative connotations of 'heaviness'! Because yeah, love and care is weight on the soul, not in a way that drags you down, but in a way that grounds you. Lightness in this context now connotes something like empty space, a feeling of nothingness or numbness. Love and care is weight as opposed to lightness because weight means it impacts you, matters to you. You're carrying around all this love and it's not a burden, it's fulfilment.
[gintoki, crying: i want chocolate! no need for love! just give me sugar!
shinpachi, fired up and bleeding from the mouth: i want love and that's my final answer! wait, can i ask the audience?
kagura: *having little fourteen yr old thoughts*]
“Life means being willing to travel a long road with a heavy load on your shoulders.”
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"The first time I heard that, I thought man, what a lame thing to say."
"But whadd'ya know, I guess that old geezer had a point. Everyone’s got both their hands full of something that matters, you don’t even realize you’re carrying it. "
"It's only after it slips out of your hands you realize how heavy it was in the first place. "
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"I thought I could never handle a weight like that again. But before I realized it, I was carrying something new."
"I’d feel so much lighter if I just got rid of it."