#AND TGIS HAPPENS EVERYTIME

[iftitah]

being the pacemaker always cause me a breakdown + ruined mental health for 1 week why am i like this

[muckyschmuck]

love being transgender , positivity, blah blah , whatever but i HATE GETTING SWERVED AND SPITROASTED BY CVS AMD PLANNED PARENTHOOD AFTER PAYING COLD HARD CASH FOR A GAY LITTLE APPOINTMENT THAT ALLOWS ME TO BUY FUCKING SYRUP THAT MAKES ME A MAN AND THEN NOT EVEN GETTIGN IT FOR SOME REASONI CANT EVEN CALL MY BITCH ASS 1 STAR RN PROVIDER AND BE LIKE HEYYYYYYYYY WHY IS MY THIGN ON HOLD :333BECAUSE HER NUMBERS JUST THE PP NUMBER AND WHENEVET I CALL THE PHARMACY OR PP ITS LIKE beep boop sorry go fuck yourself GOD

[wonbokkies]

the way i still cant function knowing my favs all got eliminated. waking up and opening insta to see seunghwans letter sent me overdrive and ruined my day fr AGH im still gonna post about eliminated members tho so if that makes u uncomfy please lmk.

i miss haruto woongki seunghwan and seowon so much OLLIE TOO :((

[bittersweet--chaos]

Inversion Talk with Leto: Relisten Edition

So I woke up randomly at 4 am and made the stupid ass decision to relisten to the Inversion. And I picked up some things we all (me) might have missed the first time. Figure that it'd be easier to see and hear things more clearly now that I'm seeing things more logically and not emotionally I'm traumatizing myself again for you all so.

THE RIVER RUNS BOTH WAYS TONIGHT

BITCH! I HEARD THE FIRST SHADE AND ALMOST HAD A PANIC ATTACK GOD!

Were there really no other shifters other than the Shaw pack? Did no other shifters come to the games?

Sometimes I will forget that the rest are shifters and forget how badass they are

VOICES GONE SILENT

Shades are from death right? So they're basically vengeful ghost. My theory, shades are just ghetto ass poltergeist. A poltergeist will fuck with you before killing you, a shade'll kill the and there!

This reminds me of FNAF but life or death version. Like, "6 hours in the Inversion" (this is 4 am humor ok)

MORE THAN A PROMISE

Milo and Angel would've fought Jett I'm just saying

In a way I understand why Jett wanted d(a)emons forces to deal with everything. He most likely didn't want to risk a human life on his teams so opted to d(a)emons knowing that shades wouldn't affected them and that they were more powerful when it came to magic

When David made that choice to close the wards so Daliha was safe, I know he had Angel in mind

I just remember when Angel and Babe first got the news (when I first listened to it) I damn near had a panic attack from the amount of emotions I was feeling

Just realized, FL didn't do much during the apocalypse did they? And they didn't really have to since they had Gavin, but the most they did was ground Gavin (and thank God for it cause he was about to go off the rails)

RIGHT HERE

OK, so Gavin said he couldn't feel something so distinct as Damien and Huxely's aura through the chaos, even with everyone calmed down. Vincent, however, was able to pinpoint where Lovely is and get to them in enough time. Is that bc Vincent and Lovely are bridged or bc Gavin has to many people's emotions inside him?

OK, Huxely said that the shades had started strategizing. Them motherfuckers we're getting smarter. Either they were learning from that the more people the more life force or with every new wave it's the same shade. OR everytime a person was to die they'd come back as a shade, adding to the blood shed

Imagine how man funerals are going to happen bevause of all of this. There's no way D.A.M.N is going to stay open and running after tgis even that happened on their campus

Jett only wanting Department d(a)emons to be apart of this situation shows that he didn't want the public knowing anything and that's what I fucking hate

DECK KODY 2022!!!! IK all through Damien's head as he kicked the shit outta Kody was all pent up anger from the incident with FL, anger of the situation, and anger with Kody bc he's just a general asshole who should rot

Damien is always going to want to help people, from back when he and FL wanted to make a change at D.A.M.N to wanting to help people during the Inversion. And it shows how good a person Damien is! And Huxely working as Damien's anchor helps because he knows how to make clear points and help calm his friend down

Milo's plan in a nutshell was literally to throw himself at the Ward NOT EVEN SHIFTED HE DID IT AS A HUMAN, absorb all the wards magic into himself, and have a mini army of empowered people kill off whatever shades were left. The idea was good but if that didn't work not only would he have died from that much magically intake but the wards would've been down and shades still would've ran through Daliah (where were Babe and Angel during that? In the radio tower? They can't have been with Lasko the whole time)

THE VOID THEY LEAVE BEHIND

Seeing Gavin having an empathy overload breaks my heart and makes me so glad that Caelum wasn't there. Gavin was breaking at the seams at everything, if Caelum we're there he would've lost it and spiraled out of control. Especially if he tried helping everyone

So Vincent and Lovely aren't bridged? Because Vincent said that back when he was looking for Lovely with Adam, he tried to sense them the same way. Is it because he marked them then or is it a vamp thing?

Do you guys think if Lovely hadn't hesitated to fire lightning at Vincent and the shade, they wouldn't have been attacked?

Erik made an Imperium reference when David and Sam healed Ash. In the imperium Asher had said David died in his arms. If Sam didn't have David help him or if Asher didn't pull through, that would've happened again just reversed

ALL ALONG

You know how Erik said that once a vampire turns they can take on the name of their maker, which is why Vincent has Will's last name. I think Lovely will do that same thing

Damien was out of magic was because he was putting so much force into it (the little "Oh fuck" as he waited for the shade to get him reminded me of Jurassic park)

Bruh, i would like to remind you all of how powerful Hux is, when Huxely destroyed the shades that got to Damien, Milo and Sweetheart could hear that shit

1: why does Milo know how to stop such a powerful flow of magic and 2: do you think with all that magic stored up it's like Lovely's blood. He'll probably want to release it so he'll just keep shifting back and fourth

The amount of magic that got rid of the shades must've hit everyone in one wave and hit like a freight train. If it were aimed at anything other than than the shades I just know it could've killed everyone

Again, I see where Jett is coming from. He's thinking about the image of the Department and after the prison breaks begin so recent, he doesn't want the public to know about another crisis that's happened under their watch. If anything, people are gonna trust DUMP a hell of a lot less

Jett said he had to let the unempowered know about everything, that means those mfs know!

At the end with Brachium and Sunshine, Brachium is talking to someone. Someone in the river. All that magic and death that it caused fed it, but Brachium said he's do it again so we probably have another, bigger apocalypse coming our way. He also said how much time do we have left, which makes me think that if Sunshine and Elliot don't hurry up now, all is going to be lost to this thing. It's got to be the Sovereigns that Closeknit's trying to get to

༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄༄

Alright I'm done! I can happily say I did not cry or tear up again. I think I'm invincible from having done this and the Inversion ended literally 2 days ago. From 4:50 am to 7:46 I have listened to the entirety of the Inversion. And I'm not doing that shit again dear God.

[sunkiri]

Nights When You Can’t Sleep

Description: Everytime Clint can’t sleep, he always calls Natasha to come stay with him. Each time never fails to brighten up his sleepless nights. A/n: Felt like writing some Clint and Natasha, since their friendship is one of my favorites. This isn’t mean to be shippy, but I don’t care if it’s tagged as that or anything.

-

Clint either slept for four days straight, or not at all. 

The nights where it was not at all was harder. Clint would toss and turn in his bed, wondering if maybe he just laid still for once, he would drift off into a deep sleep. No such luck. Luck never touched Clint, especially when he needed it the most. 

Those nights, he knew who he needed to call. The one person who he knew never slept; at least, not to his knowledge. He trudged down the stairs, his hand reaching out automatically to grab the phone on the wall. It was a routine that Clint knew so well, but sometimes wished he didn’t.

The buttons of the phone felt cold as he typed in the number. It rang, only once. “Already on my way, you don’t even have to ask.”

Clint smiled, shoving the phone between his shoulder and chin. “You’re the best, Nat.”

“Oh, I know.” 

With that, she hung up, leaving only the dial tone ringing in his ear. 

-

“Do you still have those board games I stashed in the cabinet?” Natasha asked, already yanking open the little door on his tv stand. 

“I was tempted to throw out Monopoly, but I didn’t just for your sake.” Clint chuckled, already making a second pot of coffee. He wasn’t going to get to sleep with or without it, so why make himself suffer without coffee? 

Natasha would always come over when Clint couldn’t sleep. They would hang out in his apartment together, doing anything to pass the time. Clint would rather have his best friend around then spend the night alone with his thoughts. 

She always showed up her fluffy pajama pants, the ones with little printed spiders on them she got on sale after Halloween. She would steal one of Clint’s oversized t-shirts when she arrived, and always have her red hair tied back. It was the most vulnerable Clint had ever seen her, and he would be lying if it didn’t make his heart swell with joy at how much Natasha actually trusted him.

“I love Monopoly.” Natasha looked slightly offended, pushing out her bottom lip in a slight pout. 

“You mean you like to cheat.” Clint scoffed, sitting on the ground beside her. “Can’t we play something that doesn’t condone capitalism?”

The Black Widow rolled her eyes, but Clint could see her smiling from the corner of his eye. She was the only one that laughed at his jokes. Actually, he was pretty sure she was the only person that found Clint even slightly amusing. He was just proud to be able to make the deadly assassin smile every now and then. 

“Connect Four?” She offered, handing him the box. “There’s also a deck of cards in here.”

“Connect Four is good.”

They set up the game, and Clint couldn’t help but run his hands through the yellow and red pieces absentmindedly while he waited for Natasha to fix the busted leg on the board. 

“How did this break?” She wondered aloud, wiggling the loose piece. 

“I didn’t even bring that over.” 

“I bet you play all my board games while I’m gone.”

“You know how frisky I get when I play Twister all by myself.” 

Natasha pushed at his chest, causing him to laugh. She puffed her cheeks out in annoyance, sliding a coaster under the board to keep it level.

“I wanna be red.”

“You’re always red.”

“Gee, wonder why.” 

Clint shook his head with a soft smile, gathering up the yellow pieces. “Your move, spider.”

They played in silence for a few minutes, until Clint’s eyes darted behind her. He jutted out his jaw, a fake gasp slipping past his lips. Nat’s eyes got huge, whipping her head around to see what threat could be looming behind her. 

Before she could turn back, Clint let a yellow piece slide through the rafters, smirking in triumph as he shouted, “Connect Four!”

Natasha narrowed her eyes, scowling. “Connect Four my ass! You cheated!”

“You can’t prove that, though.” He teased, crossing his arms across his chest smugly. “I think you just suck.”

Natasha growled under her breath, pushing against Clint’s shoulders until he fell backwards with a loud thud. He prayed his neighbors downstairs didn’t ask in the morning. Who was he kidding, he knew damn well they would ask. 

Natasha jabbed her fingers into Clint’s side, causing him to let out a surprised huff of laughter. Not one single person on this planet would be allowed to touch Clint like this. Except Kate, but she wasn’t here right now. 

Clint knew he should be priviledged as well to be this close to Natasha, and he was always grateful for it. Especially on nights like this. It was nice to have a friend that didn’t always want to kill you.

They toppled onto the floor together, Clint snorting and sounding more like an idiot than usual as he tried to catch Natasha’s hands to keep them away from him. 

“This isn’t fair!” Clint cried, kicking his legs out. “Stop it!”

“You cheating wasn’t fair, either.”

“I didn’t cheat!”

“I beg to differ. You never win at anything.”

Clint couldn’t exactly argue with that, especially when he was laughing this hard. 

“Okay, okay, I did cheat!” He admitted, relishing in the relief of Natasha removing her hands from his sides. “Jesus Christ, you’re mean.”

“That is the tamest thing anyone has ever called me.” She smiled smugly, pushing herself off of the ground. “You wanna get food?”

“The pizza place down the street is closed. I’m not sure what would be open at two in the morning.” 

“Wal-Mart?”

Clint nodded, never wanting to pass up an oppertunity to get food. “Wal-Mart.”

-

Going into Wal-Mart late at night was always a surreal experience. Especially when they had to catch a late night taxi out of the city just to go there. 

Clint grabbed a cart, allowing Natasha to set herself down in it, leaning her back against the metal bars. 

“What sounds good?” Clint asked, glancing around the freezer aisle. 

“Chicken wings. Like the TGI Friday’s ones, with all the little sauce packets.” Natasha nodded, as if she had planned this response before she had even picked up Clint’s phone call earlier that night.

“I appreciate your specific request.” He threw the chicken wings into the cart, only to have Natasha pick them up and hold them in her lap.

“We should get a pizza, too.” She suggested, pointing at the freezer a few feet away from them. “The one with mushrooms.”

“Mushrooms?” Clint asked incredulousy, looking down at his best friend. “You sicken me, Miss Romanov.”

“We could get a half-and-half?” She suggested, but her tone was deadly. 

“Good-bye, Nat.” Clint heaved the cart, letting it roll away down the rest of the freezer aisle.

“Clint!” Natasha hissed, gripping the sides of the cart. 

She nearly hit an employee, and Clint was nearly on his knees in the aisle. He laughed loudly, suddenly not giving a single fuck if anyone heard him in this dimly lit Wal-Mart. 

Natasha was not so pleased when Clint finally went to retrieve her and they headed to the check out, but he was still biting his lip to keep from grinning down at her as he threw his cash into the machine. 

-

After the food was done, and only one fire alarm incident later, the two of them were curled up in Clint’s bed, enjoying a late night movie on his shitty cable tv. 

“Did you grab the ranch?” 

“Of course I grabbed the ranch, do you think I’m some kind of animal?”

“Sometimes.”

Once all of the pizza and wings had been eaten, Clint threw the blanket over the two of them. Natasha snuggled against his side, her eye lids looking heavy for once. 

“Are you sleepy?” Clint whispered, noticing that the tv had shut off and now the room was dark. 

“Actually, I am. For once.”

“You can go to sleep, you know. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

There was a long silence, and then Natasha was speaking in that hushed whisper that always sent a little chill down his spine. “Clint, you know you’re my best friend, right?”

“Yes.”

“I’d never hurt you, either.”

“Eh, I can’t really believe that part considering-” Clint had tried to joke, but her green eyes cut him off. 

“I wouldn’t.”

Clint could feel her breathing next to him, could feel her body heat and he had never felt more content. “I know. Get some sleep, Nat.” 

She sighed, her body finally relaxing beside his. He leaned down, pressing a quick kiss to her forehead as he felt himself starting to drift. 

-

When Clint woke up the next morning, he was surprised to find Natasha still by his side, her hair spread on the pillow. His heart swelled a bit, and he knew that Natasha had meant everything she had said last night. 

He didn’t want another best friend, because the position had been filled. 

[jordandrawings]

20 Questions, Post Your 20

• What do you want to rant about at the moment?  

Jordan: Wander over yonder, Invader Zim and Milo Murphy’s Law.

• A book that influenced you the most?

Jordan: If you’d ask the younger me, she’s say “The Gravity Falls book” But now I don’t really read.

• Top three fandoms? 

Jordan: Once again, Wander over Yonder, Invader Zim and Milo Murphy’s Law.

• Describe your best friend, why did you befriend them?

Jordan: I have more than one best friend, I only befriended them all because They’re good people, they’re easy and so calming to talk to and understanding, I hope they can talk to me too. And I like that a few things I like, they like.

• How did you discover your biggest passion?

Jordan: I found it from my family, Mainly my Granddad inspiring me to be an artist and Cartoons had a massive impact on my decision.

• Fantasy or science fiction?  

Jordan: Both!!

• A song which you could listen over and over again?

Jordan: The Milo Murphy’s Law and Invader Zim theme songs and “Take a step inside your mind” from Wander over Yonder.

• Who made you smile today?

@pyroisswag

• Do you like having some time alone? What do you do when it happens?

Jordan: I love being alone, I normally watch cartoons and do random stuff online like I’m doing now. I prefer being alone than around other people to be honest.

• The weirdest way you’ve ever become friends with someone?

Jordan: I haven’t made any friends in a weird way, more like coincidence. I met this person online and we would bond over Star vs the forces of Evil, Gravity Falls, Dan and Phil and a lot of other cartoons and Youtubers. He eventually asked me to be his girlfriend and the rest is history.

•  Favourite episode of any show ever?

Jordan: The Legend from Wander over Yonder. I loved how the entire episode was basically fanfiction and used the word “canon” in a Disney Cartoon.

• Have any wishes come true for you?

Jordan: Maybe, not the I remember. Maybe it was to have better friends and that came true, I have online ones now!

• Which fictional character would you be best friends with?

Jordan: Wander from Wander Over Yonder. No questions asked.

• What never fails to cheer you up? 

Jordan: The internet, drawing, cartoons, youtube, my friends and family!     

• Best dream you’ve ever had?

Jordan: I don’t I’ve ever had the “Best dream ever” All my dreams are weird.

• Did an ending of a movie ever annoy you?

Jordan: The ending of La La Land annoyed me because Mia and Sebastian didn’t get together! My dad thought the same.

• Who do you want to hug right now?

Jordan: @pyroisswag.

• What’s your happiest memory?

Jordan: Everytime I’m home.

• Last person you texted goodnight to?

Jordan: My dad.

• Best restaurant ever?

Jordan: TGI Friday’s, they have the best hotdogs, fries and chocolate cake you’ll ever taste!!! They even make slushies without the ice!!

I Tag @pyroisswag

[aphrodit3sluvlygard3n]

its halloween tomorrow. i’ve been feeling rather introverted lately and i can’t tell what the cause of it is, although i have a few guesses. i was reminded today of how my uncle would take time out of his day to take me trick or treating, which he got nothing out of. it must’ve been awfully boring, i couldn’t imagine taking time out of my day to do it for some kid. was it out of sheer altruism? because i’ve always believed that people were born inherently bad, yet he seemed to defy this theory. he did a lot of things, small things i didn’t understand the value of to appreciate at the time. i was a child. he was there for me. he supported me. he listened to me. i needed someone and he was there. he shielded me. i think my mental health declined exponentially since my seeing him has declined and my emotional proximity to him as decreased. it’s not that i feel unattached anymore, it’s just i don’t know how to act or talk to him anymore out of fear of disappointment. is it wrong to be tgis scared of disappointment or rejection or failure? i think of morbid things in my freetime. like how i’d rather die now so i wouldn’t have to live up to some type of expectation. more like so i don’t have to disappoint people who have been betting on me. it’s fine if i disappoint myself, i always do that. i do not fear my own opinions because 1. you will always be your harshest critic and 2. i am very honest (i think those should be switched for sake of phrasing), plus other people are scarier and ill always know where i stand to myself but i can’t always assume. i say people are predictable and easy to see through but maybe i’m overestimating my skills a little. anyways, back to my morbid thoughts. justin seems to share these thoughts which is why i hold him near and dear. i think of death more often than not. sometimes, no jk everytime i hold something potentially dangerous, i have this strong urge to stab myself or to just imagine all the ways that it could accidently kill me. when riding the trains or waking in the cuty, an imagine of shooters arises and i wonder what would happen. i’m somehow deathly afraid of death but also very intrigued. i do not think it is or rather should be a sad affair. why is death bad. all things must die. my fingers hurt even though i have more to say so i’ll just leave it at that.

[deepnthoughts]

We were introduced at 15 years old through a mutual friend, at the time I was dating a different person. It was the summer time I remember because you told me I looked good in my shorts I was wearing. You me and the mutual friend started walking around the neighborhood.. our friend was saying how she’s going to miss you because you’re not going to be at the same high school as us. I said oh why not you explained to me you were kicked out from all the referrals you had. I was just thinking oh my gosh he’s one of those. (At the time I was completly innocent, i just had my first kiss that following school year with a boy named Joe.) We ended up stopping at the park, he pulled out his phone and I thought he was so cool because he had a side kick. Our friend ended up snatching it from him and ran away with it.. we were all messing around with it throwing it, I ended up dropping it I felt so bad I kept apologizing when I bent down to get it you were there getting it as well. Your face ended up near my lap I got scared and I pushed you off me. Our friend got weird and told me it was time to go. So we left.. as we left I looked back and waved, you waved and smiled. I went home that night with our friend.. I ended up sneaking your number out of her phone to make sure i had it. That following week you were locked up. So I continued dating that guy till I was 16 and that’s when you got out, put on house arrest. My boyfriend who I was with at the time lived in New York so I never got to see him. One day walking home you were on your porch with your friend Glen I saw you and that was the first time I ever felt butterflies I was scared to give you a hug so I awkwardly waved ad I kept walking past your house that’s when you said stop wait. I stopped… You asked what I was doing later I told you that I was having a sleepover with my friend Felicia you told me to come over when she does so me, you his friend and my friend can hang out I said okay we can when I go get her I’ll be meeting her half away. You said great with a smile. That day we hung out was the first kiss we shared together. We were alone in your room, that first kiss was when I knew I liked you more than i did my boyfriend. That night I ended things with the new York guy. That’s when me and you started hanging out alone and when everyone found out that’s when I got the warnings. They would tell me you’re a player, you’re going to play me and break my heart, but I refused to listen. I kept seeing you and hanging out with you. Then it happened.. you hurt me and it felt like I was falling apart I cried and cried for weeks probably months because this was when you were whoring up Tania Moran. I told myself to never see you again. While I was hurting I started dating Evan, we were on and off because I broke things off because I still had feelings for you. One day, you called me asking to come over, so I did. We were 17 at this point … we were in your brothers room we talked and eventually it happened. I gave you my virginity. I was so scared but the moment we slept together was when I realized I was in love with you. My heart was stolen, you made me feel like I was the only girl that meant something to you because all the warnings I got didn’t matter to me. I told everyone it was Evan who took it, but it was you. You were the one Jorge and we pinky promised each other no one would know and till tgis day we kept it. 17 passed we hit 18 my junior year, you got locked up again and you were released you called me and I ran to your house. (He only lives 10 houses away) we ended up getting drunk with people and I blacked out, I woke up with cops around me, I had a bruise on my face from falling. You ran away because you were still in trouble. I was grounded. I was scared to start my senior year with a bruised face. Senior year started and by the 2nd week I saw you again, you were outside. I was scared to see you that was my first time seeing you since we got in trouble. You told me you got a new number so I got it. That night you snuck out to see me in my room, kissing lead us to having sex again. I had sex with 3 people after you but ours felt different, I fell in love all over again. Sure enough, nights after nights I snuck out to see you, we would have sex all night on my driveway, yours, the field, I was falling hard for you. I was falling deeply in love and I felt my heart was taken away from me. We were together till 11 at night to 4 am before my dad woke up to go to work I felt like I was the only girl in your world. I was wrong. The hours I was at school was when you shown your true colors because so many girls came clean to me saying you and them were sleeping together. A boy I gave my heart too was playing me again and I felt betrayed. My heart was crushed. That didn’t stop me, I continued sleeping with you risking myself knowing my parents would find out, but I didn’t care. I was in love. My heart was yours. Eventually my parents found out I wasn’t allowed to see you again. It felt like my world was falling, I fell into a depression I lost 15 pounds, I was at 90 pounds. I cried and screamed for you to come see me, but you didn’t. I hated you. I got myself better, I slept around again… next thing I know it was graduation night, I felt on top of the world because I was leaving high school I was so happy. Till that night I got home and I had a missed call from you. I called back you asked to see me, so I did. You told me how proud you were of me for graduating. We hooked up. The next day you dropped me for a girl that came to visit, Elizabeth. Me and her were what I thought friends but I was wrong. Summer was going good i left for new York and I reunited with Ej, my ex i was with at 16… I cane home to find out Elizabeth left. I called you, we hung out I realized my feelings never left. One night with family in town I snuck out to see you at the house that we broke into to secretly meet and have sex in. My dad found out and called he told me to bring you with me, I was so scared I was nervous.. we met up with my dad that’s when you told him you were in love with me, you’re a changed person you wanted to be mine. Right then and there i knew I wanted to spend the rest if my life with you. You were my home, you and I against the world. My dad shook your hand and that’s what I thought was the beginning of our relationship. We were openly seeing eachother & I was over the moon. That’s until one day I was kicked out of my house.. I ran to you, you stayed with me all day we drank that day away until I had to go to a birthday party. My drunk decisions lead to me cheating on you.. it turned into a secret a secret that never made us the same. Eventually you found out and left me. I began to cut myself, I tried to hide the cuts but someone saw and told you. That night you screamed at me till I couldn’t take it and ran out… you ran after me and thats when you hugged me and kissed my cuts. We got back together. Eventually you started cheating on me, I cheated back to get revenge. The fight got worse my cuts got deeper. Eventually fighting turned physical. I turned so depressed I tried killing myself to escape. Years passed and I was still with you. I was 21 now. Still together. I got better, I got help and you changed. Or so I thought you did. You turned into a very contrilonh lying cheater and I was so scared to leave because I had no one, not even my own family. I was so alone the only thing I had was alcohol i relapsed and started to cut again. I wanted out. The fighting didnt stop. Finally at 22 I got a job with the city, I was able to reunite with my best friend Jessica Lee; she kept me safe and she hugged me covering the bruises you gave me everytime we fought. I put makeup on my arms to cover the hand prints you have me. 23 came around and you called it quits, we broke up… and this time for good. I was 5 months late on my period I never told anyone till now, as I’m typing this. I told you and you didn’t believe me I knew I was pregnant but I fell down the steps on purpose I was bleeding that night. I killed the only thing that could’ve saved us, but you were dating your neighbor. I cried for months and months. While you were dating her I didn’t care I had sleepovers with you and we didn’t have just regular ex boyfriend and girlfriend sex we had sex I dreamt about having; sex to a thunderstorm where it was so soft I cried because I knew my heart still belonged to you, my unborn baby was happier knowing I didn’t bring it to this world because the father abused me. I never told you what I did and I haven’t till this day at 25 years old. I will never tell you. Our story ended at 25 years old, I was in love with you for 10 years. My heart is finally piecing back together all the pieces you broke, my scars are healed and my eyes no longer cry for you. We are now strangers, strangers with memories. I can drive past your house without breaking.

Jorge Solorzano, you were my first true love. And I thank you for all the good and bad times we shared together because you are everything I don’t want now. My heart no longer skips a beat when I hear your name, my heart no longer cracks of the thought of you giving your all to a new girl because eventually you’re going to hit her like you hit me and I’ll be with someone who appreciates me and says I’m beautiful with my scars and will love me for me. 🤞💋