#lmao and none of them cried except me

[no1cutiepatootie]

being the pacemaker always cause me a breakdown + ruined mental health for 1 week why am i like this

[bepp-ers]

sorry for vanishing on yall i went to take a nap (for like 9 months)

headcanons about the obey me! brothers and the devildom that no-one asked for, in no particular order. because why not :)

> asmodeus is kind of against piercings that aren't in the ear because they're 'tacky' and unsavoury.

> mammon had an aeroplane phase. he eventually settled on cars, but there are still a few plane magazines stashed in his wardrobe.

> lucifer has grey hair but like. way more than you'd think. he's just really good at hiding it. he may or may not have used some sort of magic to hide it, until eventually he gives up and starts to let it show. that's why in some artwork/pictures he has grey streaks, and in some he has none.

> beelzebub has tried to eat so many of the paintings in the HoL that they have to be sealed with magic, lest he devour another family portrait.

> barbatos' tail is "slimy" or "slick" because it's actually poisonous, like those frogs. that's why he doesn't like people touching it, except for that one picture where Solomon tries to touch it (i reckon he got tired of him trying to touch it so he just allows him to be poisoned lmao)

> demons will eat humans. this is a known fact, although it's usually only very low-level demons who are starving, or have succumbed to their sins completely who eat humans. beelzebub has thought about it a few times but he likes MC far too much to truly consider eating them.

> expanding on the last point, the Devildom is overpopulated. im calling it. i headcanon that demons (particularly glutton demons) casually partake in cannibalism. there are too many demons/other species and as such, the laws basically don't exist. the answer to overpopulation is basically murder, or cannibalism.

> the brothers don't try and tone down the more "demon" elements of themselves around MC until someone mentions that humans don't really like that kind of thing. MC has seen some SHIT man.

> leviathan refuses to eat fish or seafood because of Henry 2.0. mammon has 100% tricked him into eating like a fishcake or something. he definitely cried a lot that day.

> i think all of the brothers snore, except for belphegor (ironic huh). asmodeus adamantly denies snoring, but he does. mammon snores the loudest obviously. everyone else just snores a normal amount, and lucifer falls asleep in his chair/on the sofa a lot so his snoring is heard the most. he's a dad at heart.

> satan hates that people mistake him for lucifer. that's obvious. he hates it so much that he once wrote a book on the subject, under a pen name, and it was surprisingly popular. he doesn't think anyone knows he wrote it, but lucifer knows. he simply never said anything because he was secretly proud of satan for how well he could write.

hopefully these make sense. god i forgot just how much this game actually made me think. i love world building yarhhhhggh

> asmodeus is deathly afraid of head lice. that's it that's the headcanon.

oh yeah the ole ask box is open. send me asks im so desperate ill take anything

[mortalscience]

criminal minds evolution 18x03 reactions behind cut (spoilers!)

well, most of the episode was about Will's funeral and everyone coping with his loss, as expected. I thought the entire thing was really well done. a little too real, tbh. I held it together pretty well until Rossi and JJ's talk after the funeral, that was pretty rough, though really beautifully done. I think that talk between them was amazing. ("I love you Dave." "I love you more, kid." fuuuuck.) and the scene with JJ and Henry was just. too real, and was giving me flashbacks. I was about Henry's age when my mom died, and my father and I had a very similar moment of clinging to each other sitting on my bed in the dark as we sobbed, so yeah that scene was fucking harddddd to watch! I knew this episode would be super super sad but I wasn't expecting that so it was a bit of a sucker punch.

death episodes are hard enough for me to watch, but ones that dwell in the aftermath like this are worse than the death itself because it's so much more real and reflective of life. this episode was so good, but difficult to sit through. it's gonna be slotted right up there next to btvs' "the body" in painfully fucking real death episodes I never watch unless I want to be depressed and cry.

jj continuing to wear will's sweatshirt :( so sad. aj acted her ass off this episode as I knew she would. JJ just broke my heart during her speech during the funeral scene. ughhhh.

oh and I loved penelope's story at the funeral about will helping her move. I just knew they were friends. ;_;

other things:

cute ass Luke and Tyler bonding scenes, stop, I can only love them both so much

Luke loving Bruce Springsteen, I love this gen x man so much lmao

Penelope getting annoyed at Luke obsessing over Bruce. CUTE.

Tara and Rebecca bonding in the wake of JJ's loss <3

sweet scenes with JJ, Penelope, and Emily <3 <3 <3 SISTERS.

hilarious when Emily suggested that maybe JJ can numb herself with edibles, LMAO. oh em probably not the best way of coping.

Henry calling Penelope "Auntie P" and the fact that she's been shotgun for him while he's learning to drive, STOP. fuck that's cute.

Rossi having to spend so much time with Voit, I am DYINGGGG. it's funny but also horrific. this is the man that nearly killed him multiple times, tortured him, terrorized him, haunted him, and Rossi has to HOLD HIM WHEN HE CRIES. WILLDDDD.

the story with Voit is so good actually, watching him getting glimpses of memories but none of them about the horrible things he's done except weird snippets of things like people burning where he doesn't realize he's the cause, feeling lost and scared and confused at what's happening to him and not being able to remember, wondering where his family is.. all that after everything we've seen him be. ughh it's so conflicting and good and Zach Gilford is killing it.

not the funeral flowers from hotch and morgan, lmao. I kinda wish they just wouldn't mention them, especially hotch, because AS IF hotch wouldn't have come to the funeral. there's nothing that would have stopped him. we all know why hotch isn't there, it's because they'll never invite Thomas Gibson back, but it just kind of sucks to get hotch reminders when I know he'll never be more than a passing mention again.

annnd Spencer was there, we all guessed he would be, I wasn't entirely sure since he wasn't credited for the episode but I guess they (tried) to keep it a secret. he is credited for the next episode though so is he gonna be in that episode too? hmm. kinda funny when Spencer gave everyone hugs then an awkward handshake to Tyler. Like they were meeting for the first time right then weren't they? sooo awkward hahaha. Also since when does Spencer give handshakes to people he just met?? ? did we forget that about him..?

anywayyyy, excellent fucking episode, seriously, so good, and after I make some gifs i'll probably never watch it again cause it HURT TOO MUCH.

[marichild]

Oh oh! Grell for the character ask game? :3

HI KAZ!!! kicks feet giggles grell <3 ask game

GRELL SUTCLIFF

favorite thing about them: SO CONFIDENT IN WHO SHE IS. like genuinelyyy I love that she's so unabashedly herself and has no fucking filter ever whatsoever LOL. my feral girl <3 I hope she gets all the amazing boyfriends she dreams about

least favorite thing about them: I was going to say less screen time and then I remembered what happens later and went actually yeah the narrative positioning is fine imo. perhaps the fact that she doesn't have a bestie to back her up 💔 knox I believe in your ability to turn up the freak

favorite line: "If it's your child I have the urge to bear it!" 10/10 line I was not expecting them to actually include this in the anime and cried laughing when they let her say it. thank you A-1 studios for getting one thing right about the hot mess that was season 1

side tangent on that note I absolutely hated season 2 like if s1 was a mess s2 was Worse and it's only redeeming points are (1) GRELL SCREENTIME (2) my son alois being compelling. truly. I also think it's really funny that the animation quality significantly jumped up the moment they abandoned the anime original plots that imo were compelling concepts but horribly executed and badly characterized </3

brOTP: I was going to say sebastian but that was before I watched the anime. unfortunately I now understand why watching william and grell together is so entertaining LMAO

OTP: none 💔

nOTP: .... also none 😭 okay look the thing is idgaf abt shipping for kuro except for Maybe cielizzie and also lizziedoll in a very specific way but also . present a case to me in an interesting enough way and I'm sold

random headcanon: this is less a headcanon and more of like...logical reasoning, maybe(?) bc like. given the origins of grim reapers I feel like it's pretty clear how and why she ended up as one, and probably explains a lot abt why she is the way she is—shameless, fiery, speaking in ways a man would never be caught dead speaking (especially bc she's been doing this for like....seventy years??? I think??) because she's dead and who's going to get her killed or hurt for it. she's powerful in her own right. so. yeah. sorry to hit you with an angst beam I just think—

unpopular opinion: do I even have any. I've been thinking abt this for like four hours and can't think of any help

song i associate with them: this is a joke more than anything but one time while I was reading the luxury liner arc I think good so bad by zerobaseone came on and the opening line is genuinely "making me feel good, wanting it more, you're so bad," and it's been irreversibly linked to grell now

favorite picture of them: technically I have two LOL this one from the luxury liner arc because HELPPPP she's such an icon save ronald actually sksksk. the second one. I was tempted to find the whole page or two itself but something about serious grell contemplating their next move in the wake of the blue cult + the reveal arc....it's very important to me that people understand that grell isn't just over the top insanity as much of an icon as she is, she's also a top grim reaper for a reason. she's intelligent and just chooses to be chaotic <3

[shinia]

Okay so I just finished Remnant of Filth (including the unofficial translation) and I am having THOUGHTS that I can’t talk about with anyone so I’m going to talk about everything here 🤞

Warning : very very long post lmao

YUWU SPOILERS INCLUDING THE END (DO NOY READ IF YOU HAVEN’T FINISHED EVERYTHING GUYS INCLUDING THE BOOKS NOT RELEASED YET IN ENGLISH)

Ok so : first, this series is a MASTERPIECE. Why did no one force me to read it before ? WHY don’t people talk about it more ? This was so so good, probably my favorite damnei so far and one of my favorite book series altogether.

It has been a long, long time since a book made me feel so many emotions. I spent most of this year in a reading slump and only managed to go back into books recently, and this was so good.

First : the characters. I loved how they were all so well developed, even the secondary characters. Even when I hated them, Meatbun managed to make you feel all kind of emotions. I ended up actually liking Murong Lian even if I wanted to kill him at the beginning, I felt compassion for Yue Chenqing, I HATED Jiang Yexue, and I cried in a way I haven’t in a very long time for Murong Chuyi.

As for Gu Mang and Mo Xi, they were so tragically written. Two characters who just want peace and to be together, but have to give their all to their corrupt country, because they’re not just people ; they’re generals. The conflict of Gu Mang, who just want to love Mo Xi but is too loyal towards his goal : peace and recognition for slaves and commoners. His sacrifices for an Emperor who actively works against him. Mo Xi’s feeling and love that almost bleed through the pages ; all his emotions and his character tragedy. And even at the end, when Gu Mang was dead and he could have chosen revenge, he still choose to sacrifice himself for the world. Everything around them kept taking and taking and taking everything from them, and they still choose to be good at the end. They could have so easily become villains, and it would have been more than deserved, but instead they choose their paths. I have rarely seen two characters who deserved their happy ending more, and you can’t imagined how much I cried at the end when I truly believed that the book would end in a tragedy and that they wouldn’t ever be happy together. I feel like the ending is perfect for them honestly : even if they can’t be themselves, they’re happy, together, far away from a scheming court that took everything for them. Also, the fact that Gu Mang knew he was probably a member of the imperial family and still decided to hide it because he had decided to help the enslaved people ? He was a teenager at the time, and a slave. Everyone in the same situation would have said something to try and get better living conditions, but not him : he choose other people over himself, over and over again.

Except from them, my favorite character is without a doubt Murong Chuyi. I loved him when he appeared, loved him throughout the books, and loved him even more when the truth about him was revealed. I cried so much at his death : he suffered under Jiang Yexue for all his life, incapable of showing affection to his nephew, and still, he was always thinking about people, about how to do good in the world, even if it could never be revealed. And at the end, he tried to protect the cousin he never knew he had before. His happy ending was taken from him because of his kindness ; if he hadn’t been kind to Jiang Yexue when they were children, maybe none of that would have happened. The river of tears I shed over him were worth it, but I honestly would kill for his happy ending 🥲

Second : the plot. My god, the author was on fire with this one. All the plot twists, one after the other ? I went into this blind and only got spoiled Gu Mang blood relation with Murong Lian and Murong Chuyi, but this was WILD. Nothing is as it appears. Maybe I’m naive and rusty, but I really wanted to trust the Emperor or even Mengze. I did feel like something was wrong with Jiang Yexue, but I never imagined the depth of his depravity, to literally go all yandere on someone (I HATED HIM SO FUCKING MUCH OMG). And yes he didn’t know that they were half-brothers but STILL. Probably the only complaint that I have if that Mengze is not the girlboss I thought she was 😑 Why can’t we have a four dimensional, morally grey, interesting female character ? Is it seriously too much to ask ?

I honestly just read the seven books one after the other and can’t remember every plot-twist, but I know I kept being surprised about everything lol. I didn’t even cloak that Gu Mang was a spy until it was revealed lol I’m so dumb and ended up crying (again)(to no one surprise).

Okay so I think I’m going to stop here because this is already long enough but to finish : READ YUWU IF YOU HAVEN’T and if you have I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK ABOUT IT WITH ME (but if you’re here I do hope you’ve finished the story since I just spoiled basically everything)

[verysium]

ive always imagined mrs itoshi to be a really energetic woman. you know those middle aged women that are just so youthful, you can feel her energy and aura when she's in the room. and she would definitely love saes gf. because sae has a personality totally opposite to hers but after committing to a relationship he learns a lot from you and you encourage him to to strengthen his family bonds. she would LOVE spending time with you, talk to you about fashion and gossip. she'd call you her daughter in lawww omg shut up i love her

🥲 *cries in heavily dysfunctional mommy issues* when will it finally be my turn to experience the kind and loving touch of a middle-aged woman? sae better treasure his mama or else i'm gonna steal her from him when he's not looking.

on a more realistic note, i do think mama itoshi would be the type of person who simply doesn't age. there is something irrevocably uplifting and youthful about her, and i think that has a lot to do with the adversity she's faced throughout her lifetime both as a woman and a mother. even though she's soft-spoken, she is firm and headstrong. definitely knows what she wants. she always tells sae that the strongest people are the ones who smile, no matter what life puts them through. (obviously, that lesson flew right over sae's head cus he looks perpetually depressed but whatever...)

i honestly don't think sae has a strong attachment with either parent, but he isn't averse to them either. it's the small things that you pick up about him. how he never lets anyone touch him but stays still when his mother to brush his bangs back. how he never buys those expensive lunch meals during practice because he prefers his mother's homemade bentos. how he doesn't like to show unnecessary emotion but cracks a small smile at his mama's kitchen antics.

idk if it's just me, but i also feel like his mother was the stricter of the two parents. both sae and rin were forced to become self-sufficient from a young age. walked themselves to practice. bought snacks with their own allowance. sae even took a train ride to tokyo by himself to find a representative agent. not saying their parents weren't supportive, but they definitely weren't a constant presence either.

i think what sae needs is time. time to process his youth and to reconcile with his family (both his parents and brother ofc). i feel like he went through a lot of parentification, and undoing that will require a lot of patience. this would probably happen in his late twenties to late thirties, once he's well-established or even retired from football. with so much time on his hands, he has nothing to do but reflect. emotionally mature sae will be very different from current sae.

mama itoshi does welcome you kindly. mostly because none of the itoshis ever fathomed sae getting involved with someone seriously. i just know she has good skincare, so you two probably have girls-only nights where you two do nothing except watch TV dramas and wear face masks. i don't think she's particularly physically affectionate, but she does show her love through cooking. always pinches your cheek fat and tells you that you aren't eating enough (typical asian parent thing to do lmao.) also cuts up random fruits and places it beside your desk lamp while you're working.

i feel like sae has a bit of a hard time coming to terms with the way you assimilate into his family. he already feels like a stranger in his own home, but when his mother treats you like her daughter-in-law, it really gets him thinking. can he be normal? is this what it's like to be normal? is it really okay to have this? long story short, he probably has to reason with himself for one thousand and one nights before he decides he's actually going to marry you.

[sasaranurude]

Coly, the company behind Mahoyaku and Stand My Heroes, have announced a new game. Some friends and I realized that despite looking somewhat generic at first glance, it's got a handful of intriguing things going on with it! So here's a quick kind of long introduction to/my thoughts on Break My Case!

First: the website! The music on the site is really good! Go listen while you read this post!! There are 12 people listed as composers in the credits page, and it seems most every VA involved has at least a bit of experience with singing or music projects. The tone is a bit dark for a rhythm game (though I'm not ruling that out entirely), but otherwise it seems like there's gonna be a music focus. Cool! As far as other staff goes--the main scenario writer is also the writer of Stand My Heroes, and the character designer is Utako Yukihiro, who also did some work for B-Project.

The story concerns a cafe with a myriad of eccentric employees that runs an after-hours service where they solve problems. The exact nature of all this is left pretty vague.

And the draw for a game like this: The characters! Interestingly, they're divided into different departments at the cafe. What exactly those departments do isn't clear yet. As for the characters themselves--the more we looked at them, the more we liked them, lol. Quick summaries about what intrigued us about each guy. Note that these are not translations, none of us are fluent in Japanese (we all know just enough to get by with the google+jisho combo lol), and this should all be taken with a grain of salt.

The Main Office, consisting of Ai Kosaka, Yuzuru Kise, and Roka Suoh. (Names are listed in western given-family order because that's what the site uses for romanized names.) Roka is the one who owns the cafe, is the oldest character in the bunch at 36, and is that fun "mysterious guy with unknown backstory and an endless amount of weird acquaintances, who acts incompetent but might actually be hypercompetent" type of trope.

On account of the whole acting-incompetent thing, Ai and Yuzuru run the actual cafe business. And normally I won't be including fullbody character art in this post but I have to make an exception just this once.

Anyways.

Tumblr won't let me put four images in a row. Come on man. I wanna maintain the BMC's site style. Why are you mean to me. Anyways. The Simulation Department, consisting of Kou Ayato, Mao Ukyo, Akehoshi Hinomiya, and Yuragi Kanno. "Simulation" is its English name given on the site, but the Japanese given would probably read more like "relationship department".

Kou is a footloose playboy and Mao is a serious intellectual type, but apparently Kou will ask Mao to pretend to be his girlfriend so that he can avoid trouble with women. That's gay. I love that. (Mao is a guy [as far as we know], he just likes makeup--he's not the only one in that cast who does, either!) We all want Mao's outfit.

Akehoshi was a sleeper hit in the group chat, because his bio has a sentence about how he's the most normal-looking-yet-dangerous employee at the cafe, and also explicitly describes him as being like a dog, and naturally we all went crazy for the silly puppy as soon as we realized that he was in fact a silly puppy. Yuragi, on the other hand, likes cats. Such a classic for his character design trope, lmao.

The Administrative Department, consisting of Taiga Tsukimoto, Haruhi Ichikawa, and Sei Okiya. Taiga looks cool but if you look at his fullbody he's wearing awful sweatpants and apparently he cries while watching anime. I love this for him. Haruhi is a streamer because that's like an obligatory character trope now I guess. Sei was very popular in the group chat for being the single most suspicious character in the cast. What's his problem.

The Watchdog Department (or enforcement department, if you translate the jpn) consists of Shizuka Fushimi, Takeru Mikado, Soyogu Shinkai, and Shinobu Aizawa.

My friend described Shizuka as a "wet looking glasshole" and yeah. ok. unfortunately he does look like that. But it's ok he's allowed because his bio says he prefers quiet, orderly places with plants and no people and keeps to himself in common spaces but his own room is a complete mess. AKA he's an autism king. So I like him.

Takeru was obviously a hit because look at them. Takeru and Mao talk about makeup together, apparently. CUTE! Shinobu is the most fashionable guy in the cast and his bio says he has a few screws loose, which is amazing. Good for him. I have nothing to say about Soyogu I think I forgot he existed until I was putting this post together and I only looked at these all guys a few hours ago

The Negotiation Department, with Kiho Arima, Kyoya Shido, and Riku Tateshina. I described this group as "grandma, grandpa, and Columbo" and then the group chat couldn't call any of them anything else. And I do mean grandma. Because. ok. another fullbody. Because oh my god we have to look at Kiho.

GIRL. WHAT. IS. THAT. YOU'RE WEARING A CARPET. YOU'RE WEARING A COUCH. kiho is apparently a fortune teller and my friend acted as if this excused the outfit but i DONT agree i don't think anything excuses this. WHAT IS THAAAAAT

Kyoya is an artist and Riku is a psychologist so honestly this is a really fun bunch of jobs going on in this department. Riku is described as someone who falls in love easily, and he's most interested in Ai (from the Main Office, the very first guy in this post). We couldn't tell if the implication there is that he's in love with Ai, or if he falls in love with random people and yet his true attention always drifts back to Ai. Both of these options are gay.

The ST (special tasks) Department, with Yomose Onda, Yu Nina, Kamiya, and Urara Manami.

Yu had his life saved by Tomose and has now dedicated himself to him, to the point of being ready to die for him. YOU GOTTA LOVE THAT. INCREDIBLE TROPE. UNBEATABLE. GAY AS HELL. All we know from Tomose's side is that he's "fond" of Yu. That's fine I'm sure you can learn to love him. Or learn to hate him. Whatever's more entertaining.

Kamiya has no memory, hence the singular name. I'm sure whatever's going on there is weird and interesting. Urara is the youngest character, at 20. THAT'S RIGHT. THE YOUNGEST CHARACTER IS 20. THERE ARE ZERO TEENAGERS! THE AVERAGE CHARACTER AGE IS AROUND 26. THIS SHOULDN'T BE AS NOTABLE AS IT IS BUT THAT'S GACHA GAMES FOR YOU. Anyways I like Urara because I think he looks like an angry kitty.

Anyways, that's the gist of what we know about BMC--or BreMai, if you wanna go for something closer to the jpn abbreviation--right now. More info might drop at/around Animate Girls Fest, since they seem to be giving out game beta codes there. I don't know if I'm completely sold on it just yet--coly did just have a detective-themed gacha game fail a few months ago with &0. But we're not even completely sure it is a gacha yet, or what kind of gameplay it might have otherwise, so... there's a bit of hope. Maybe it'll be a weird cool dark rhythm game! Who knows!!!

[eldritchsurveys]

1274.

How many books did you read this year? >> 27.

Did you have any reading goals? if yes, did you complete them? >> I don't set reading goals, that feels weird for me. I'm just not a goal/achievement-oriented person. I'm driven by whim and caprice and the tidal rhythms of desire. To put arbitrary demands on myself is against my nature.

What was the first book you read this year? >> PDA by PDAers: From Anxiety to Avoidance and Masking to Meltdowns, edited by Sally Cat.

What was/will be the last book you read this year? >> The last book I finished was Woom by Duncan Ralston.

The longest book you read this year >> The Witching Hour (Anne Rice), by far. Like, no other book I read this year comes even close (except Lasher, which is that book's sequel, lol).

The shortest book you read this year >> The Necrophiliac, Gabrielle Wittkop. Damn, I don't even remember that one. I read the synopsis and... yeah, no, I just don't remember it at all.

The oldest book you read this year >> Earth Abides, George Stewart (1949). The newest release of the year >> I didn't read anything that was released this year.

A book that was better than you expected it to be >> I didn't expect to enjoy Kristin Hannah's The Great Alone or Irvine Welsh's Marabou Stork Nightmares nearly as much as I did. Although I must say that "enjoy" is a strange word to use for both of those books. They were... harrowing.

A book that didn’t live up to your expectations >> Probably, you know, the 11 DNFs.

A book that was most out of your comfort zone >> I don't think any of them were out of my comfort zone, except maybe how The Witching Hour is much longer than I prefer my books to be. But I'd also read it before so I was prepared for that. What was the most unexpected book you read this year? >> I don't know what would make a book unexpected. Or, more unexpected than any other book I randomly decide to read.

The funniest book you read this year

lmao, none of them.

A book that made you cry >> CJ Leede's Maeve Fly not only made me angry-cry to the point of feeling nauseous but had me fighting off depression for like 3 straight days. That fucking ending ruined me. I also cried during The Great Alone, Marabou Stork Nightmares, and at least two of the stories in Rajesh Parameswaran's I am an Executioner: Love Stories.

What was the book you were most excited about before you started reading it? >> The Anne Rice books because I was revisiting a formative series. Also, Laurell K Hamilton's A Kiss of Shadows because... I was revisiting a formative series.

A book you already want to reread >> Episode Thirteen by Craig DiLouie.

Top five books of the year >> Episode Thirteen, The Vaster Wilds (Lauren Groff), Marabou Stork Nightmares, Last Breath: Cautionary Tales from the Limits of Human Endurance (Peter Stark), I Am an Executioner: Love Stories. Also, Feed Them Silence (Lee Mandelo). Least favourite books of the year >> Again, the ones I DNF'd. Not gonna bother devoting energy to talking about them when I need that energy to talk about the ones I did like.

Best non-fiction book(s) you read this year >> Last Breath is like... kind of nonfictional? It's written in a fictional style. The stories are made up but the scenarios are cobbled together from real shit that happened to real people. It's honestly my favourite way to have information like that presented to me and I wish there were more examples of books like that. I feel like I retain the information so much more readily when there's an engaging lil scenario. Oh, I also read A Slow Death: 83 Days of Radiation Sickness, which is straight nonfiction. What a story.

Best fiction you read this year >> Same as my top five books, barring Last Breath.

Best book you read for uni/college/school .

Worst book you read for uni/college/school .

The book with the prettiest cover >> Honestly, none of these covers stand out at all except Maeve Fly's, which is... well, it's kind of pretty, I guess. Depends on how you feel about eyeballs and teeth.

The book with the best title >> The Vaster Wilds, or Feed Them Silence, or The Country Will Bring Us No Peace.

Did you discover any new authors? >> Most of the authors I read this year were new to me.

What was your top genre for the year? >> Horror, by a landslide.

Did you discover any new genres? >> I did not. Did you start any new series? >> I did, as mentioned earlier.

Did you finish any series? >> I did not.

Did you reread anything? >> The two Anne Rice books, the LKH book, and Blake Crouch's Dark Matter, which I read ahead of the new TV adaptation dropping, but found I didn't like as much as I did when I first read it. I meant to reread Recursion, which was the first book by his I read and which I think is probably the better of the two, but then I forgot. I'll try to remember next year.

Did you read any translations? >> I did not. Unless I'm unaware.

Were there any books you planned on reading but didn’t end up reading/finishing? >> Story of my life.

Did you DNF anything? >> I DNF'd 11 books. A couple of them I might revisit (I just didn't have time/energy for them, or whatever), but most of them I just lost interest in.

What’s a book you’ve recommended the most this year? .

Did you use your library? >> I did not use the library.

How many books did you buy? >> I did not buy any of these books either.

Are there any books you want to finish before the year is over? >> The year will be over in 45 minutes, I think I'm good.

Releases you’re looking forward to next year .

Five books you absolutely want to read next year? >> Well. The aforementioned Recursion, of course, then... well, I want to finish Kushiel's Dart (which I'm currently on), and I have In My Time of Dying by Sebastian Junger queued up next, and I'd like to reread Dune, and that's quite enough on my plate for now.

Do you have any reading goals for next year? >> Absolutely not 🖤

[thegreatdemonzhuyan]

Thoughts on George? After he slept with Meredith even knowing she didn’t want to while she cried, I lost any respect for him. Also the way he treats Callie is so fucking foul.

ok so I want to preface my answer with the acknowledgement that I grew up watching this show. I watched seasons 3-7 live as they aired while I was in high school (I stopped watching at some point during s7). so there is a big nostalgia factor for me.

also pretty much every male character is misogynistic to varying degrees. alex and mark are basically sex pests and don't think of women outside of sexual gratification until they suddenly fall for someone. (hell, denny is also kind of a sex pest, like all his convos with izzie are basically sexual harassment, but apparently she's into it????) I love derek and he's by far my fave of the men, but the fact that mark is his bff means I would not be trusting him irl. I just got to the episode where alex almost slept with april and jackson punched him for being an asshole to her, but then a few days later they're laughing and friendly w each other again, so the same for jackson. I haven't gotten to it yet, but I know owen is pro-life and gets mad when cristina has an abortion (which is incredibly unsurprising after that ep when he kept trying to stop that one woman who wasn't even his patient from going thru with physician assisted suicide). my issues w burke and webber are more due to them putting people in danger bc their egos (i.e. burke not saying anything about his tremors until he was forced to disclose it, richard still operating once he started drinking again) than misogyny. point is, the moral compass of the show is fucked and none of the men here are winners lmao (except ben! ben has never done anything wrong in his life ever. but he also is a very minor character if we're looking solely at grey's and not including the spinoffs (at least where I am so far))

anyway, the point of saying all this is that in order to have any kind of enjoyment when it comes to this show, you kind of are required to overlook some of this. I love derek and jackson (and ben), I like mark (most of the time), alex is sometimes okay. there's also the fact that the early seasons (where george was part of the cast) were the aughts and characters like george were becoming more common as an alternative to characters like alex and mark. (hell, not to stray super far off topic but look at himym - specifically ted and barney. same thing lol.)

I give all this context to say that I do like george. now before I do any sort of defense for him, let me break down your reasons for hating him:

After he slept with Meredith even knowing she didn’t want to while she cried, I lost any respect for him.

I agree that him sleeping with meredith was a gross moment and tbh I do my best to ignore that subplot completely bc it didn't do either character any favors imo. he shouldn't have told her his feelings when he knew she was in a bad headspace, and while she was the one who initiated the kiss/sex, he should have immediately stopped it and not let things progress to the point of her breaking down and crying. I can't defend him for this, he was undeniably in the wrong. I want to believe that if the show started airing today instead of 20 years ago, that the whole george pining after meredith thing wouldn't have ever existed bc it was just. really strange and unnecessary when there was already so much merder drama.

Also the way he treats Callie is so fucking foul.

maybe it's my nostalgia goggles, but ig I have a bit more of a charitable read on this? there were a lot of issues in their relationship bc it started when he was still hung up on meredith, and he really should not have jumped into a relationship in that headspace. he was also terrible at defending her and choosing her over his friends, which was disappointing but tbh I chalk that up to the writers living up izzie's insufferable ass and acting like she's the most moral character on the show while she was there (news flash to the writers room: she is one of the more morally bankrupt characters in the show!!!). george being pissed at callie for sleeping w sloan while they were broken up is shitty, but 1) almost every male character on this show has a fucking meltdown when they learn the ex they're in love with slept with another person (hell, that includes derek!) 2) it tracks with the aforementioned writing for male characters in the aughts (which tbh the show hasn't really progressed past in 20 years 🫠)

but as for george and callie getting back together after all that? I have a hard time faulting george. his dad had just died and he's being impulsive and reckless and asks callie to marry him after barely getting back together and she says yes???? girl, you know he is not in a good headspace why would you do that?????? I think he was starting to do better by her at that point tho, bc doesn't he freeze izzie out for a few episodes after they're married bc izzie won't stop being a bitch to callie? as for the thing about callie coming from money, I think he overreacted but looking at how things play out in s4, it's clear that this whole argument solely happened for the writers to start pushing george and izzie's "romance" (barfs for 50 years about it). and narratively george and izzie's "romance" makes no fucking sense!!!!!!! izzie sleeping w george reads as her being upset about alex dating other people when she said she wasn't ready to be with him (especially if we take s5 into consideration), for george it reads as a drunken mistake while he's still processing his father's death. and don't get me started on izzie confessing that she loves him and george avoiding her, like that doesn't read as him fighting his feelings that he loves her back, it reads as him being sick of her hot and cold shit and wanting to move on. writers die by my blade for forcing this george + izzie "romance" it's by far one of the things I hate most about the early seasons.

(and if you feel like I'm forgetting anything about george + callie's relationship, please feel free to send me another anon ask about it. binge watching + covid brain damage means I forget things kinda quickly - like I had to pull up the grey's wiki to remind myself of some of these events lmao)

anyway, I feel like where the frustration from you and other ppl who don't like george comes from the fact that the show tries to paint him as superior than most of the other male characters, which is very, very fair. he's not - like I said, pretty much every male character is misogynistic to some degree. it's all bad, it just presents differently for different characters. that being said I would much, much, much rather deal with a george than an alex or mark in my daily life.

anyway, reasons I like george:

he's actually one of the better doctors of the interns. like the heart surgery in the elevator? it's badass and it pisses me off that the show kept bringing up his "007" status from the pilot when he did that by himself!

his loyalty. as much as I fucking despise izzie, he really was always there to support her. and while I don't really think he loved her romantically, he clearly loved her with his whole heart.

he was good with his patients and often was able to be a sensitive person for them to talk to (i.e. that episode in s1 with the fat patient that alex insulted, george was the one who she felt comfortable enough to open up to; that one episode w a kid that was afraid of needles and george demonstrated what was going to happen on himself so he'd stop being scared)

his bravery. that episode where the doctors have to care for the n*zi paramedic is extremely fucking cursed but george telling him that he would've killed him on the table? fucking ICONIC. and I feel like it's hard to talk about george w/o discussing the fact that he died by saving a woman from getting hit by a bus. I don't think there's any other character in the cast (besides maybe owen) who would've saved a stranger by putting themselves on the line like that.

[midknightwritings]

Anddd another request..I’m not sure if you’ve already done it but here you go..!

Again, if I broke any rules please ignore or delete this

How will these characters(Mika,Leo, and Izumi)react to you/reader crying for the first time?

Reader is a very “strong” levelheaded/serious person and no one has seen them cry before. Not even their own family(except the mom) or close friends

But of course, everyone has their limits and Reader has been so stressed out that they cried for the first time in years

What they didn’t know though was that their s/o was planning a surprise visit that very same day

I’m Here For You

Synopsis : After dealing with constant stress for the past few months, today you finally reached a breaking point. Letting out your emotions in the comfort of your home, the last thing you would've expected was a surprise visit from your lovely partner.

Era : N / A

Warning/s : Stress / Overworking / Breakdown / Hurt & Comfort

Mentioned Character/s : G/N!Reader / Leo / Izumi / Mika

Word Count : 1,579

A/N : Shimeji anon this actually hits so close to home for me cuz I’m literally like that too LMAO I keep it in for ages until I flat out explode AHAHAHA Anyways~ Once again I'm really sorry this took forever but I hope you enjoy regardless 🥺 💕

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Today was just awful, you could even argue that it was the worst day you've ever experienced in literal years. Various tasks and projects alike seemed to pile up due to the busy season that's currently happening but the problem was that none of your peers were pulling their weights… At all… Originally, you were tasked with handling a do-able job, which would’ve been simple to complete in itself. Yet, the problem was the fact that your part was heavily reliant on your peers' parts but, since your peers were doing absolutely nothing, you ended up having to do their work in order to meet the actual deadlines… So it’s safe to say that you were overwhelmed, stressed and overall just not having a great time.

You thanked every star in the sky and whatever higher being up there that you were able to hold yourself together throughout the day but, as you were packing away your things once you got back home, the emotional bottle within you finally bursted. Soft, quiet sobs escaped your lips as you tried to stop yourself by wiping the tears away but they kept on coming with no end in sight. So… after years of staying cool and keeping yourself together, you finally allowed yourself to shatter under the pressure and let everything out.

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Leo Tsukinaga :

Leo wanted to surprise you with a new song that he composed so he climbed up the tree beside your bedroom window and was about to swing it open, [ usually he would throw rocks to get your attention but at some point you gave him a small key so he can unlock it from the outside before he ends up actually breaking the glass ], when he suddenly stopped as he felt his heart shatter at the sight that laid before him. You were curled up in your bed as your shoulders shook from how hard you were crying, your sobs emanated throughout the room as Leo looked at you worryingly. So he opened the window carefully before he hopped onto your bedroom floor.

This caused you to perk up but you didn’t even have the emotional capacity to hide your emotions as you desperately tried to wipe away your tears instead. Leo could tell that you were trying to calm yourself down and he had his own idea to help you with that! With a big smile and his signature laugh, he tackled you into a bear hug and smoldered you with kisses, no part of your face was spared. He even kissed the tears away before he snuggled into the crook of your neck.

Leo isn’t good with words and he knows that so, instead of fumbling to say the right thing, he started to hum a gentle melody instead.

At this point, he has you in an embrace where you’re both cuddling each other, your head's resting against his chest as you could hear the rhythmic beating of his heart while he hummed his ballad dedicated to you. His hums caused small rumbles in his chest that could be felt through the embrace. You both stayed like this for a while as you let everything out before finally calming down. Through it all, Leo was even playing with your hair as he comforted you.

Once you were ok, he would pepper you with kisses once again as he proudly proclaims how much “I love you!” His kisses are light, causing you to giggle from how ticklish they were.

“Wahaha~☆ You’re laughing again! Ah~ Your laugh is a wonderful melody, my muse! I can feel inspiration gushing forth once more!”

For the rest of the night, Leo would distract you from your thoughts by playing games, singing songs or just generally doing anything to make sure that your project doesn’t even cross your mind. After all, to Leo…

Your smile is the most beautiful thing in the entire galaxy.

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Izumi Sena :

Izumi came to visit you because he was worried. Your last text seemed a bit off. There was no logical reason behind this feeling. To anyone else, it seemed like a regular message from you but Izumi’s gut feeling told him otherwise… And he was right. Izumi had a spare key since he would often come over to cook for you and just take care of you in general, and he would even proclaim how much he hated waiting outside, so when he entered your house to see you curled into yourself on the couch, his eyes widened with worry as he walked up towards you.

This was the first time Izumi has ever seen you cry, so it was a bit jarring for him as he didn’t know how to comfort you. He knew he shouldn’t say anything sarcastic or harsh, since that would most likely make you cry even more, so he just sat beside you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders before pulling you close.

The two of you stayed like that as you gripped onto his shirt and cried into it, your tears made his outfit wet but that’s not important right now… What’s more important is the fact that you’re releasing all the pent up emotions within you, and Izumi will be that shoulder you can cry on in order to achieve that. No words were exchanged as a comforting silence surrounded the two of you, the sensation of him gently rubbing your back helped you greatly.

Izumi’s quick to figure out what must’ve happened. After all, the timing of everything lined up perfectly; One moment you were venting to him about your peers and your project, the next you’re crying by yourself at home. It doesn’t take a detective to figure out that the problem stemmed from your project and peers alike.

Once you finally calmed down and your sobs turned into small sniffles, Izumi would take some tissues and wipe away your tears, all the while mumbling about how you look “absolutely awful” but his tone clearly implies that he just hated seeing you in such a state of anguish.

“Come here... Go wash your face and freshen up. I better not see any more tears or snot when you get back, am I clear?!” [ Translation : Go and wash your face, it’ll help make you feel better. I’ll still be here waiting for you when you’re done. ]

This is when Mama Sena kicks in as he immediately starts to take care of you in order to make you feel better. Just relax as he cooks a hearty dinner that will surely take your breath away! What’s that? You still need to work on your project even when you’re at home? There’s no way in hell Izumi would let you do that all alone! So c’mon, don’t be annoying and explain the details already! Let him help while he’s here because…

He’ll do everything in his power to make sure you’re not carrying this type of burden alone ever again.

•❅───✧❅✦❅✧───❅•

Mika Kagehira :

Mika stood outside your door anxiously as he fidgeted on the spot. Usually you would answer the moment he rang the doorbell or, at least, yell through the door that you were coming to open it. So the fact that he didn’t hear anything for a while caused him to immediately assume the worst, and seeing your puffy eyes when you did open the door freaked him out.

You thought you hid your breakdown well but the moment Mika asked you what was wrong, as his heterochromatic eyes were filled to the brim with worry, you couldn’t help but fall apart once again. Small confused noises and squeaks left his lips as he guided you back inside your house, closing your front door with his foot, before pulling you into a comforting hug.

You both just stood there as he slightly swayed you from side to side, all the while he would rub your back, caress your hair, and pretty much do everything he could to try and get you to calm down as you continued to cry into his chest.

He didn’t know what happened, and the fact that you were seriously so distraught that even you of all people started to cry, caused millions of thoughts to run through his head. You’re known to be so calm and level-headed, even through the most challenging moments Mika could ever imagine, so he knew that whatever happened seriously affected you to the core.

The moment your tears dried up and you slowly stopped crying, Mika would pull you into a more tighter, but still gentle, embrace. Small hushes would leave his lips as he would comfort you to the best of his abilities and, once you were ok, you would both pull away from the hug. Mika would wipe any remaining tears off your cheeks as he would give you a soft smile. It had a hint of worry within it, but that’s just because he wanted to make sure that you’re genuinely ok again.

“No buts! I ain’t hearin’ them from ya! Imma stay here till yer feelin’ better n’ that’s final!”

Mika would be there by your side for the rest of the night, listening intently to your vents and rambles about the entire situation as he would even make some comments here and there about your whole ordeal. Overall, he would be there for you to let it all out because, at the end of the day…

He doesn’t want to see you crumble again in the future…

[shameonmeeguiltypleasure]

Oh this is my moment to shine! I'd kill for a Polin fic with lots of pinning Colin! Like Book universe and his comments making Pen suddenly seem available (and everyone thought they had been courting) like a "did you know they broke their courtship" so at around 1817 if I'm not incorrect in my time-line, at two and twenty one year short of getting herself into early spinsterhood (as it starts at 23) she finds herself overwhelmed by choices she had no idea she had and Colin has to come back to face that the "I never asked you to" might hurt more than she thought now that she might never actually have to.

Challenge Accepted: Ooooh, I’m defs more confident in writing Polin, but as I’m drunk I’m beyond curious how my drunk mind will interpret this prompt. Can I even write a good pining Colin oneshot? Idk, you decide lmao. *Sidenote: I hope I read your prompt properly and met the brief*

Post script: This turned out longer than I anticipated, but I do very much love it. I don't think it met the brief/what you wanted, but I hope you still like it. Maybe sober me will want to write Penelope's POV on everything so you understand her struggle about the courtship/chatter etc stuff. Either way, Hope you enjoy.

Colin Bridgerton – popular charmer of the ton, known for his grinning smirks and promise of cheeky quips – could only stare with something unnameable stirring in his chest after the dancing redhead on the floor.

‘How…. How has It come to this?’ he couldn’t help but think. ‘When…. When did she become so brightly revered by more than just him?’

“Well, brother, I can very much confirm you are indeed a fool to have claimed to never wish to marry Miss Penelope Featherington,” Benedict couldn’t help but comment.

Colin scowled, his mouth twisting sourly as he snatched the glass from his brother’s hand and downed the beverage in one go. The sickly sweet drink only furthered the discomfort in his belly, but Colin ignored it in favour of glowering after the dancing duo on the floor.

“Look at them,” he muttered, “First it was a Mr Danksworth, then it was a Mr Anderson and now!”

Colin growled and snatched the pastry Benedict was preparing to bite into. He scoffed the pastry down in two large bites and angrily chewed past his mouthful. When he’d swallowed the last of the pastry he huffed and snarled the last name past his lips.

“And now there she dances with Lord Debling!”

“Oh look, indeed she does…” Benedict sarcastically drawled.

But that was not the worst of it! The worst of it was that besides the three earlier named gentlemen, on the edges of the ballroom remained the waiting rest. Colin knew them all by name. Several of them were men he once might’ve thought of as friendly acquaintances but now regarded as disgusting swine hungering after his dearest friend – his Pen.

“You know brother…..” Benedict began his tone filled with humour just short of mockery. “ I don’t understand how this isn’t something you expected.”

Colin turned abruptly at Benedict’s words, his nostrils flaring with incredulity and his eyes burning with anger at the implication in his brother’s tone. Benedict continued to ignore Colin’s incensed state and musingly continued his commentary.

“Perhaps if you’d only –“

Benedict never got to finish his sentence, and even if he did Colin likely wouldn’t have heard it anyway. The music had come to an end and Colin was pushing past the crowd closer to where Penelope and Lord Debling were finishing their dance parting.

“COLIN!” Eloise cried as she latched onto his arm and attempted to drag him away from his current destination. He very near threw her off him, uncaring for the eyes subtly watching them from all angles. None of them mattered. None….. except for Penelope who stared at him with something he could only liken to…. Indifference.

“Let go of me,” he snarled lowly, but Eloise only tightened her grip.

“You must come with me,” she hissed.

“I mustn’t do anything,” he snapped back.

“Brother!” Anthony warned from his other side where he suddenly appeared.

“I am doing nothing,” Colin insisted as he winced under Anthony’s tight grip.

“You are embarrassing yourself,” Eloise whispered.

And he was.

He knew he was.

He could hear the growing whispers in the room, some full of pity, some mocking, but many full of judgment. Colin very suddenly wanted to laugh. Who were they to judge him? All because of one comment –  a single sentence said without thought and consideration under the influence of alcohol and peer pressure.

Yes.

He was a fool.

But fools could still learn, they could still earn forgiveness and right their mistakes.

Fools still held hope.

“Colin…. If not for yourself then for Penelope’s sake, come with us” Eloise hissed.

And that was the key to his obedience.

Penelope.

Colin chanced one last lingering glance towards the woman in question, her red curled hair hard to miss among the crowd. She was watching him still, her expression as indifferent as ever but her eyes…. Her eyes…… her eyes were pleading.

It was the plea in her eyes that ultimately swayed him, and he let himself be tugged away by his siblings.

“I only wished to ask her for a dance,” Colin later mumbled.

Eloise had left them with a conflicted expression, it wasn’t pity but something incredibly close to it. Anthony chose to stay and so the two brothers sat on a stone bench in the gardens while the ball continued inside.

“I only wished to ask for a dance,” Colin repeated, unsure if he were trying to convince Anthony or himself.

“Colin…..” Anthony sighed.

The brothers let silence form between them, the air heavy with unspoken opinions on the many ways this was the consequence of one’s foolish mistake. There was no use in lecturing, so Anthony made no move to do so. Everyone with eyes could see the effect losing Penelope Featherington’s sole reverence and attention had on Colin Bridgerton.

“What can I do?” Colin eventually asked his brother.

Here, was a moment where both men wished their late father still lived. Unfortunately, Edmund Bridgerton was far beyond their reach and so Anthony forced himself to attempt, once again, to fill his shoes for the sake of his siblings.

“Perhaps, you should first ask yourself why marrying Miss Featherington is so unthinkable for you,” Anthony suggested.

It took several seconds for Colin to answer, but when he did, Anthony felt his neck ache from how fast he twisted in shock to look at his moping younger brother.

“She’s not…..”

“What?”

“I-I’ve never said marrying Penelope was unthinkable,” Colin quietly confessed.

“Colin, you clearly announced to a gathering of men, and I quote, ‘Are you mad? I would never dream of marrying Penelope Featherington!” Anthony reminded with a slightly patronising glare.

“Yes, but I didn’t mean it the way it was heard!” Colin exclaimed.

Anthony blinked then threw his hands up in exasperation.

“Then how else did you mean it? In what way was what you said in any form capable of being misinterpreted!?”

“I-I…. “Colin stammered with frustration.

“Well?”

Colin very suddenly stood to his feet, pacing back and forth while gripping at his hair with frustration. Anthony continued to sit and watch, forcing himself to remain patient with his struggling brother. When the words finally came, they were rather disappointing.

“What I meant to say is that I would never dream of marrying Penelope!” Colin repeated with special emphasis on some words.

Anthony gave him a droll stare in reply and a very damning judgmental arched brow.

“Damn it! You don’t understand!”

“Because you are failing to explain yourself in proper English without an ounce of logic!”

“I don’t dream of Penelope!” Colin exclaimed with frustration.

“Oh, well done brother, that’s so much better,” Anthony drawled with a roll of his eyes and a disappointed frown.

“I don’t dream of Penelope! I would never! I-“ Colin cut himself off looking incredibly frustrated while his ears burned.

But Anthony very suddenly had an epiphany. It was the way Colin had phrased his wording that triggered his revelation. The sound of his voice as he struggled to find his words. All of it was a mirroring example of the way Anthony struggled to explain his affections for Kate while still courting Edwina.

“Then allow me to ask you one simple question, Colin….”

Anthony waited until Colin gave a very slow and subdued nod before he spoke.

“What exactly is Miss Penelope to you?”

“Milk,” Colin blurted.

What.

Anthony is sure his expression revealed his judgement, but Colin was doing an expert job rivalling a Tomato’s redness. The younger brother hastily elaborated on his previous one-word answer.

“I mean she’s the feeling one gets while drinking warm milk after a night of terror.”  

Anthony nodded to show he understood but Colin mistook it to mean the elder brother wanted more explanation.

“She’s the sweet satisfaction of chocolate after fencing practice. The feeling of knowing indulging in too much of it will make you sick but still doing so because…. Well because why not?”

Anthony blinked and realised it didn’t matter what response he gave; Colin was no longer listening.

“Penelope is…. She’s the warmth one feels while reading by the fire and the refreshing sensation of rain in a hot summer. She’s a candle lit in a dark room in the middle of the night, the anchor to a ship adrift the ocean…. She’s…..”

Anthony waited but Colin seemed to lose the reverent gleam in his eyes and begin to wilt. The Viscount also noticed the coming of three shadows from the corner of his eyes, but he kept his silence about their approach.

“She’s what?” Anthony prompted instead.

“She’s not someone to be ignored. She is someone to be treasured. She is someone precious and rare and…. Not for the likes of someone like me.”

Anthony saw one of the three intruders move to step towards them, but they were finally getting somewhere regarding all this nonsense. The Viscount spoke loudly, almost as if he were scolding Colin.

“What do you mean someone like you? What exactly is the matter with you?”

Colin laughed, the sound tinged with bitterness and self-deprecation, something nobody would expect from Colin Bridgerton.

“I am not titled, and my wealth is only thanks to your generosity. I have nothing to my name beyond the Bridgerton reputation.”

“You are a traveller,” Anthony argued, knowing it was perhaps the weakest positive he could name about Colin’s character.

“And what woman would wish to marry a man who hungers to roam constantly in search of something he cannot name!?”

“You are being ridiculous, Colin, many women wish to marry you!” Anthony argued.

“Many women wish to marry a Bridgerton and all the benefits it will give them. No woman wishes to marry simply because I am me.”

One of the three shadows shifted closer towards the light – revealing a distinctive hair colour that could not be ignored. Anthony took the opportunity to redirect his conversation with Colin to its initial topic.

“But how does Miss Featherington fit into this nonsense?”

Colin snorted; his back still facing to where the three shadows now moved closer to join them.

“Penelope deserves so much more, more than I have to offer, more than I’ve yet to earn. She is destined for something greater, sure to discover some grand purpose while I will always be left chasing after something unknown.”

The shadowed three were now illuminated by the garden lights, and Anthony tries his best not to react to their presence. Not while Colin is in the middle of confessing his truth unknowingly to the woman who deserves to hear it most.

“So, I don’t dream of her. I won’t dare to think of her beyond friendship. I can’t…… I am to her only a very dearly regarded friend….  And I am certainly not going to marry Penelope Featherington.”

Colin lets out another self-deprecating laugh that sounds strangled while his eyes shine with unshed tears. “Penelope deserves so much more than me, and no matter how greedy I am, I would never wish to trap her in a life where she would be miserable.”

“Oh?”

Anthony watched Colin’s eyes widen in panic, then fear before he twisted to face the short red-haired woman trembling behind him.

“Pen….” Colin breathlessly whispered.

Penelope was shaking where she stood, her face red and her eyes shiny with her own unshed tears. Behind her hovered Benedict and Eloise, both looking uncomfortable but far too curious to walk away.

“I never asked you to marry me,” she said.

“Penelope I-“

“And I never, not once expected you to.” She continued.

Colin swallowed but his eyes never left the trembling woman before him.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered.

“Why are you apologising!?” she yelled.

Colin flinched, but he didn’t take back his apology. Penelope scowled at him, her eyes filling once more, but she stubbornly willed them away. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before she regarded the downtrodden gentleman across from her.

“You, Colin Bridgerton are the most infuriating idiotic man I have ever had the misfortune of caring for,” Penelope abruptly blurted.

Colin said nothing, accepting her words without an argument which only further annoyed her. Penelope heard Eloise’s sharp inhale and knew her favoured Bridgerton had caught the specific wording in her sentence. Penelope then scowled at the man still refusing to meet her gaze properly.

“Viscount Bridgeton!” Penelope sharply addressed.

Anthony startled at her sudden address – inwardly marvelling at her audacity to call on him with such tone – but very quickly regained his composure.

“Yes?”

“Please expect my visit tomorrow so we may further discuss my dowry.”

What.

“What?” Colin blurted from shock, echoed by Benedict, and accompanied by Eloise’s laughter.

“I’ll expect our mamas would schedule the wedding for after the season, but I intend to negotiate the dates. Eloise of course is expected to stand by my side at the altar, I’m sure you understand.”

“What?” Colin repeated, this time echoed by Anthony who looked gobsmacked.

Benedict had seemingly come to some realisation and was now joining Eloise with her laughter. Penelope then turned to Colin; her expression was full of exasperation but her eyes…. Her eyes were filled with mischief and….. an emotion Colin dared not to hope for.

“Oh, for God’s sake Colin, are you going to marry me or not?” she said with an impatient stomp of her foot.

“Y-You’re proposing…..To ME!?” Colin gaped, ignoring the loud cackling of Benedict and Eloise behind Penelope.

Penelope stared at him with a twist to her lips that almost distracted him, but he managed to control himself by focusing on the mischief in her eyes.

“Well, why not? You’ve made it very clear that you – for some ridiculous reason – won’t dare to ask me, yet you clearly wish to.”

“B-But what about Lord Debling? Or Mr Dankworth and Mr Anderson!?” Colin named with a scowl.

Penelope blinked back at him with a shrug of her shoulders.

“What about them?”

“You were courting them!!!” Colin roared, his temper flaring due to his jealousy.

Penelope however only smiled, and she dared to saunter closer to him.

“To be precise…. I was never courting them. It was them attempting to court me and if you wish to place blame somewhere you only need to look in a mirror, Colin Bridgerton.”

Colin swallowed, his mouth dry with want and his heart aching with hope.

“You, perhaps, never allowed yourself to dream of marrying me, or even dared to think it….. But I have spent many years wondering how lovely it would be to marry you.”

Colin knew this was not done.

A woman was not supposed to propose to a man….. and yet….. Penelope Featherington was looking up at him with honest eyes full of…. Love.

“Marry me Colin Bridgerton,” She whispered.

This time, Colin let himself dream of marrying Penelope Featherington.

He let his imagination soar and abandoned his heart to its reckless yearning for his dearest friend – his beloved Pen….. and he said…..

“Yes.”

[yoongsisbae]

Run Run Run - Yangyang Living (Part 2)

A zombie apocalypse breaks out and you’re stuck on a plane with none other than…BTS! Oh, you thought because you were an Army that would help you survive? Girl think again.

OT7 BTS Zombie Apocalypse AU / BTS member x reader slow burn

Lmao yall really want BTS dead after the last chapter! I am happy to oblige. I didn’t know if I should unrealistically let them all survive or not lol on one hand it's just statistically not in their favor, but also it pains me to even just off one of them cries. But I can get behind a last man standing gets y/n story, so let’s goooo! Hopefully yall don’t change your minds after reading this chapter (too late now)! :D

Warnings: death, monsters, blood, fighting, killing, gory details, y/n curses like a sailor, humans being shitty, attempted sexual assault on multiple occasions because men still suck post apocalypse

Word Count: 7.4k

---

You sit on the airport runway, the sun's heat warms up your face and dries your tears. You look up to the sky and you scream at no one. You can already hear the low groaning of the undead coming closer to you, and you feel sick, you feel hurt, you feel angry at the world.

If you survive this, and if you ever meet BTS again, you plan on making this moment their worst regret!

---

It’s been four months of pure hell. You’ve managed to survive like a mouse. Hiding most of the time in blocked off corners, learning how to stealthily sneak in and out of rooms.

You stayed at the airport for four whole months, eating like a king in the new world, there were enough restaurants and staff kitchens to have a different meal every night. Eventually the power went out and you had to get creative.

You collected weapons and new clothes by breaking into suitcases and back rooms. Your entertainment became books and magazines from the gift shop. Your new workout became running away from the undead.

By the 100th day (because you kept count), you could barely take it anymore: the loneliness, having to survive in the shadows, the killing.

Do you have to become a monster to win against one? You guess the answer had always been yes. When finally ending an undead life there was a finality to it that made you feel like a grim reaper, giving final rest to people who used to be sons or daughters.

Even if they showed signs of already being dead, it felt like you were murdering people. You were still cutting throats, stabbing muscle, it made you sick.

You hated it, you started to hate living, but most of all, you hated surviving alone. No one there survived, except for you, and it felt more like a curse than a blessing.

You needed something new, you needed to find anything, anything is better than living amongst the dead. Surrounded and all alone. So you made plans to leave.

Consolidating everything you needed into one backpack, you buried your suitcase with all the unnecessities of your old life. You even made a tombstone: "HERE LIES MY BAGGAGE."

And then you started your mission to leave the place that had become your home before it became your funeral home.

One day you found a bike, and that became your dependable transportation in the new world free of electricity.

You had hoped once you left the airport you would be transported back into a reality where monsters didn’t exist, where you didn’t have to survive off of vending machine food and sleep with one eye open, when your biggest worry was paying your rent on time. But passing by the crashed cars abandoned on the road, you come to the somber realization that you might never have to worry about bills ever again.

---

You used to bike during the day, but you stopped. The third day on the road you found another person, and the bastard tried to steal your bike. Your immense high of finding another breathing human being came crashing down so magnificently when he acted no better than a monster.

The seventh day, you found a couple who welcomed you, but only because they wanted your supplies, and you managed to get away from them before they took everything. The tenth day you found a group of men who just wanted you. You almost died that day in more ways than one. Luckily your screams alerted a different kind of monster, and you were never happier watching them eat your captors. And then you were able to enact your revenge without any remorse.

Ever since that day you bike at night time. Even if the monsters are more active after dark, you know other humans would never dare to go out at night, and after everything, you would rather deal with monsters. At least you can count on them for one thing, to try to eat you. Humans are unpredictable, disappointing, and in your opinion, now somehow worse than the undead.

You rather just fight the monsters on your own. You're quiet enough and fast enough on your bike to pass by most of them anyways. Do you regret leaving the airport? No, not when the fresh air smelled so sweet as you biked through the night and the cold wind stung your skin reminding how alive you still were. Do you regret wanting human company? Sometimes.

---

You’re happy the day you find a convenience store. The place is pitch black inside. You’ve learned to wait, to take your time, until your eyes adjust to the darkness and you’ve studied the layout of the store. You have all the time in the world now, ‘better make the most of it,’ you think.

When you walk in, two monsters amble towards you. You’ve learned not to scream. You’ve learned to aim for their eyes. If you can hit their eye with your knife they die instantly, and even if it’s a bit gruesome, it’s better for you and you hope better for them too. Quick, quiet, knife in and out.

You find some unopened sodas and canned food. You sit on top of a car and eat the convenience store food and a raw onion from your pack. The sting of the onion on your taste buds reminds you once again how you differ from the undead. You’ve become a bit of a masochist in that way, enjoying all the unpleasantries of human living. You welcome the ache in your feet, and the shivers at night, and the itch on your skin from bug bites, because all those things meant you were still alive, alive enough to keep fighting.

You watch the moon and you wonder who else is watching it with you. Is it your parents? Maybe your friends, you make a wish that they’re safe.

You make your way back inside and find a cabinet and knock the shelves out, and that’s your bed for the night. Like a mouse.

---

Sounds of movement wake you up. It’s morning, the sun shining through the cracks of your hiding spot signals the day. You hear people talking. Real live people. You slowly open the door, because sneaking up on living people is not as easy.

You see long black hair still dyed at the ends, and then he turns around.

“YOU!” You both say at the same time.

Kim Namjoon is the first alive person you’ve seen in nearly a month. Unfortunately for him, you didn’t forget what he and the rest of BTS did to you. So, as you fantasized a hundred times before, your body acted on its own and you punched the leader right in his face.

You fight. Well, you punch him and he blocks you, until Namjoon has you pinned down on the ground.

“Stop! Calm down!” Namjoon hushes.

“You-you asshole!” You scream, cheek pushed against the convenience store floor as you try to kick him off you.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Just stop yelling!”

“You’re yelling!” Even if he’s thinner than you remember, he still easily overpowers you. You push off the ground as hard as you can but you’ve only managed to turn yourself around under Namjoon’s large body.

“Hyung!” Jimin and Jungkook run towards the commotion to see their leader and you.

You both look up at their surprised faces and Namjoon is acutely aware of his position, his body between your legs, holding your arms down, and he quickly jumps off of you.

“It’s you.”

“And you, you crazy bastard! You fucker! Ass! Bitch! Motherfucking-” You throw every Korean and English curse word you can think of at them before Namjoon grabs you and covers your mouth.

The trio stare at you stunned while you seethe. So many times have people died and reanimated in their lives, but you came back like you walked through time and landed half a year later right at their feet, back with a vengeance.

You glared up at them, you looked practically the same as when they last saw you, albeit longer hair, wearing oversized clothes that weren’t your own, but your eyes, filled with betrayal, were exactly the same.

You looked cleaner than them, healthier than them, definitely much livelier than them and it reminded Jungkook, Namjoon, and Jimin of the world they had almost forgotten, or chose to forget.

“Are you alone? Come with us.” Jungkook says, and you laugh against Namjoon’s palm.

“Mmm mmm!” You tell them to go away.

Jungkook looks at his brothers for support. “Come with us, please,” Jungkook repeats.

Oh no, it’s a little too late now. You glare at the trio, if you hadn’t been a fan before you’re not sure you would have recognized them. Their good looking features were covered in a thin layer of grime and sweat, they didn’t look like idols anymore, they looked like broken men.

Namjoon lets go of you with a yelp when you bite his hand. “I don’t trust you.” You grit out. “Leave me alone. You left me alone once, go do it again.”

When they all just stare at you, you grab the knife from your back pocket and hold it in front of you, “Leave! Before I…” you grip the handle with both of your hands.

Jimin grabs the pair away from you, but Jungkook won’t budge.

He kneels on his legs, and puts his head on the ground at your feet.

“Please forgive us.”

Namjoon nurses his nose and slowly lowers himself too. You stare at the tops of their heads, too shocked to speak. When you look up at Jimin, he looks away, and he too lowers himself on his knees.

There were a hundred different ways you had dreamed about meeting BTS again, all involving you enacting your own kind of revenge until they were begging you for forgiveness, all that left you satisfied. But now as you watched Namjoon and Jungkook, heads on the dirty ground, it didn’t feel good at all. You scoot away from them, putting the knife back into your pocket. You look at Jimin who stares back at you. He looks tired and scared.

“I...don’t forgive you. Just please get up…”

No one moves or says anything, and how long did this stalemate last? 10 minutes? 1 hour? 10 hours? Approximately 40 seconds.

You stand up, looking ahead of you. “Where are we going?”

---

You stay quiet as you help the men fill the trunk of their car with supplies from the convenience store. It’s a different car than the one at the airport. This one is smaller, older. You find rope to secure your bike to the top. You slap away Namjoon’s hand when he touches your bike, and he looks at you apologetically.

You take a seat in the back with Jimin, preparing yourself for the most awkward car ride of your life.

“Did um, everyone else make it too? Is that where we are going?”

Jimin nods. Does that nod mean yes, everyone made it? You don’t ask for clarification, not wanting to press the topic.

You look out the window, Namjoon is driving so slow you are sure you could beat him on your bike.

“Oh my god, RM, you’re driving!”

“Huh? Oh, yeah,” He laughs, it’s been a while since anyone has called him ‘RM.’ Jungkook will still jokingly call him Rap Monster, but even Jungkook’s jokes have been declining lately.

“You drive like a grandma.”

Jimin snickers next to you, and Jungkook turns around in his seat to stare at you.

“I’m trying to be safe.”

“We are literally the only car on the road.”

Namjoon turns his signal on, turning left. “I don’t want to cause any attention...from the dead or the alive.”

You sigh. “I guess you’re right.” You lean into the front seat, startling all three of the men.

“Is there any radio or anything? Um, any signs of life?”

“For the first two weeks there was an emergency broadcast, and then it just stopped…”

“I’m guessing no CDs?” You look at Jungkook and he shakes his head, and you pout. You missed music. You missed fun.

“Sit back, it’s dangerous.” Jimin pulls you by your waist.

“You do notice how he is barely into second gear.”

“You’re distracting him.” Jimin says. You scoff.

“I’m sitting in a car with three singers and there's no music…” They ignore your egging and you sigh. You stare at the back of Namjoon’s head, at his red ears. And then Jungkook, ears red. When you turn your attention to Jimin, he stares back at you, and you return your gaze to the window. This is going to be a long ride.

Eventually, you reach their sanctuary. The car tires trek across the dirt road, you listen to the gravel crunch beneath the vehicle. A sound you thought you’d never hear again. It’s weird how nostalgic you’ve become. How emotional you feel by the mundane. Your heart beats faster when you see a house. Jimin must have noticed your emotional state because he squeezes your shoulder causing you to jump.

“We’re here.” His voice is soft and soothing, and you’re reminded that you used to listen to his soft voice sing beautiful songs. This man used to be on top of the world, and now he lives hidden away in the country.

You're the last to enter the house, and your arrival is nothing less than shocking to the people inside.

You look around the room, there’s only the members, the same security guard who managed to keep all his muscles in the apocalypse, an older man you don’t know, and there’s-

THAT MOTHER FUCKER WHO LEFT YOU FOR DEAD.

You try to contain your outrage as a name that sounds almost like yours leaves his lips in surprise. That asshole Dev couldn’t even remember your name

“Nevermind, I’m leaving,” you mutter. You spin on your heels. Namjoon grabs your arm, confused.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m not staying here with him.” You point to the blonde man and he shrinks away.

“Hold on, hold on!” Before you can protest further, Namjoon is dragging you inside, into another room, as the rest of the men watches in shocked silence.

---

“What’s wrong? What’s going on? How do you know him?” Namjoon looks exhausted and totally unprepared for your unadulterated rage.

“He was on our flight. He threw me to the zombies, like actually threw me!” You try to whisper, but it comes out as a strangled yell. “It was practically attempted murder!”

“No, he wouldn't do that...”

You can’t believe what you’re hearing, he is actually defending that psycho!

“Okay, okay, it makes sense, you did the same thing to me, left me to die. Of course you would become friends with him.” You go to leave, but Namjoon grabs you back again.

“I’m not his friend.” He looks at you seriously.

“Then why is he here?”

“Because we realized the more of us compared to them the better-”

“Yeah, more of you that he can sacrifice for himself!”

Namjoon winces, pushing away memories he wishes he could forget. Memories of watching people he knew for years die in front of him. Colleagues go above and beyond their duty and sacrifice themselves for him.

You huff, quiet over his pained look. You turn around and take a seat on the bed. You feel the soft fabric against your fingertips, the softness of the mattress underneath you. It reminds you of your old bed. Not an airport cot, or three seats pushed together, the cold ground or hard floor. It reminds you of coming home after a long vacation and laying on your bed, that kind of experience. You want to cry. But you keep it in.

“Please, just stay here, please. We need you and you need us.”

“I don’t need you.” You try to blink away the tears in your eyes. You’re not used to speaking to people who actually speak back, and you’re definitely not used to arguing with international superstars, and even if titles mean nothing in this new world anymore, it’s hard not to feel small in Namjoon’s presence, you can’t even look at him when you say it.

“You don’t need us, you’re right. But we need you, I need you to stay.” He falls to his knees in front of you, and his head lands on your knees. All this time he has never let go of his role as leader. He has had to stay strong for everyone else. But you’re strong, stronger than him. He sees it, you still have fight inside you and a searing conviction, and he doesn’t want to let go of the fire that is you.

You roll your eyes and swallow down your sadness. “You know that’s not going to work every single time, right?” You pat his head, steal a chance to card your fingers through his greasy hair. “You need a haircut.”

---

You follow Namjoon back to the common room. Everyone’s conversations suddenly halt as you peek behind his tall frame and glare at Dev who has gone pale at your presence, worried about what you told Namjoon..

You sit in the empty space between Jungkook and Taehyung. The space probably was not meant for another person, but you didn’t care, you needed them to know you’re not going to be walking on eggshells around them.

“How-“ you silence Taehyung.

“Please tell me you have games here.” You rub your eyes and enjoy the fact that you are not talking to figments of your imagination.

“We usually play drinking games,” Jungkook confesses.

“I will play any game you want, anything, name it.” You punctuate each word by looking back and forth between the men.

“I have Uno.” Taehyung’s eyes fill with excitement.

“What are you waiting for?!”

---

“Uno!”

“You’re cheating!” you laugh.

“I’m not!”

You stand up and stretch your legs. You spent all day playing, something you never though would happen again in your lifetime.

You hated to admit it was fun being around them. Their presence made you feel like your old self, and you kept them on their toes, just being there you shifted something in the group dynamic already. Before the group had been slowly unraveling apart, and now you had them pulling themselves together again.

You watch the two oldest members cook outside. Jin fries up spam for the group while Yoongi works to remove instant rice packets into a pot of water.

“Is this what you normally eat?” You ask Jungkook and he nods his head.

You hum. You sit back down, and you tug your backpack off your shoulders and open the small compartment in the front. You’re going to regret this, you know it. You hand Jungkook a bag of carrots and a jar half full of Kimchi. That could have lasted you at least a week, but how many times had you wished desperately to have anyone to share your food with? Or how many times did you pretend to have someone to feed or be fed?

“They might not be fresh, but they are still good to eat.”

He holds the food in his hands like treasure.

“Is that...kimchi?” Taehyung looks over your shoulder, grabbing the jar to look at it’s precious contents.

“It’s not a lot, you probably will only get one bite each,” you laugh at the thought, “but-”

Jungkook pulls you into a crushing hug. You can feel him shake against you. When was the last time someone held you? When was the last time you had a warm body pressed up against you like this? You were used to cold bodies over yours as you fought for your life, you knew what to do when that happened, but someone holding you tenderly like this? Your mind goes blank. You wrap your arms around him and pull him closer. ‘Don’t let go, please not yet,’ you beg him in your mind.

---

Yoongi had used the leftover spam grease to make kimchi fried rice, using up all the kimchi in the glass container. Jin cooked the carrots just to make them tender, wanting to keep the taste and bite. It’s been so long since any of them had a vegetable that wasn’t canned.

Everyone sits in silence.

“You brought this, y/n?” Yoongi asks you.

“There was a lot of it in the kitchens at the airport...” you move the food around on your plate. “I took what was still good when I left.”

“I’m sor-” you don’t let him finish.

“Don’t say it,” waving his words away, “Anyways, I’ve figured out a way for you all to make it up to me!” For the first time since you’ve landed in Korea you’re not dreading the next day, the next hour, the next minute, and it’s about time you celebrate.

“You’re going to have to perform a song for me.”

Hoseok chokes on his food. “This is the only way I will ever forgive any of you,” you continue.

The boys look around at each other. “I’m not kidding.”

---

After the sunset, the group moves all the furniture along the walls of the room, candlelight fills the space.

You sit on the floor next to the older man whose name you learn is Kangho, choosing the spot farthest away from that blonde asshole, determined to ignore Dev’s existence. You learn this was his house with his wife and two daughters, and by the sad look in his eyes you don’t ask them where they are.

The guys stand in the middle of the room, staring at you, Kangho, Mr. Muscles, and Dev. This is all very awkward.

“What song did you want us to sing?” Jin asks you, clasping his hands together.

“Hmm, 21st Century Girl?”

Yoongi laughs, “So you really are an Army.”

“Or sing whatever you want, I don’t care” you murmur, looking away embarrassed.

“Well this is your apology,” Yoongi says, looking at Namjoon, who stands in the back awkwardly. You sit up a little straighter waiting for him to react.

The leader takes the center, while the others shuffle into position, trying to remember the choreography. He starts out not as confident as he wants to be, “You worth it, you perfect. Deserve it, just work it...”

“Yeah! Go Joo-RM!” your cheers fill the quiet room.

Their movements are stiff and reserved with no music to sing to, but the more you cheer the less they worry, having fun with the silly choreography.

“All my ladies put your hands up..” you throw your hands up at Yoongi’s words, and let out a soft yell when Taehyung sings, “Now scream!”

They all end to a soft round of applause from you and the three men.

“Encore! If you don’t sing ‘I Need U,’ I will never forgive you!” You cheer your thinly veiled threat. Filled with adrenaline and bodies warm and muscles loosened from performing, they automatically put themselves into position for another song to your happy surprise.

Singing a song they are much more familiar with brings back strong nostalgia. You watch as they get lost in the choreography, Even if it’s just their voices, and claps from you and the other men, their performance is still awe inspiring. The boys finish and the four of you clap, louder the second round.

They breathe heavily, not used to performing. And then Jimin starts crying. Hoseok turns around, chest heaving, and Jungkook starts crying at the sight of his brothers crying.

“Why are you crying?” you say as you wipe unshed tears away before they see.

“I...I just didn’t think we’d perform again for Army.” Jimin says between shaky breaths.

---

You walk quietly around the perimeter of the house with RM. “We take turns staying up in pairs and we switch half way during the night,” he says.

“Okay, I’ll take the first shift.”

“No, you can sleep, it’s okay. It’s me, Yoongi, Hoseok, and Jungkook assigned for the shift tonight anyways.”

“I stay up during the night anyways.”

“It’s okay...you gave us your food.”

You roll your eyes. “I didn’t do it to receive special treatment. It’s not that I don’t trust you,” you make sure to look anywhere but to the man next to you, “but I would feel more comfortable staying awake.”

Namjoon offers you a weak smile. “I get it. Well then you’re stuck with me.” You nod.

---

You wake up against something warm. Arms wrapped around you, holding you tightly. You go tense in Namjoon’s arms. He notices and his grip loosens.

“I-I didn’t mean to-” you scoot away quickly from the warmth you don’t actually want to leave. You did get less sleep today than you usually do, being woken up by the same man next to you now, but that doesn’t excuse letting your guard down like that. Usually, you’re tense, wound up and alert for any signs of movement. With Namjoon’s presence next to you, you had let yourself relax too much. Why the hell did you do that?

“It’s okay,” Namjoon holds his hands up, signaling there is no reason to worry. After a beat of silence he says, “Can I ask you a question?”

You nod, wrapping your arms around yourself, still shaken from falling asleep so easily.

“How did you survive?”

You laugh. “It’s easy to ‘survive.’” you look into his questioning eyes. “Surviving is simple. You just have to not die. I could climb up that tree right there, sit in it for days and not die. I survived by barely living.”

“You still made it for months all by yourself. I don’t think I could have survived by myself,” Namjoon mumbles.

“Well I didn’t want to...” You bite your tongue ready to yell at him again for leaving you at the airport. “It’s easier, to be honest. When you’re alone, you can be selfish.”

Namjoon nods knowingly.

“So what about you? What happened after the airport?”

Namjoon shrugs. “We tried to make it to Seoul but all the roads were blocked and they swarmed our car. At the time, the roads were filled with them, so we drove around trying to find shelter until our car ran out of gas. We kept getting attacked. People kept dying...” You scoot closer to him when he struggles to finish, encouraging him on. “We realized the more people there were the better chances we had when they attacked. That’s how we met Dev and Kangho, and there were others...but it was hard...I don’t know if you noticed, but now there’s a lot less of them around, before it was almost impossible to leave, we’d starve for days, and when we did go out someone would always die...”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

He turns his body to face you, “I’m sorry...everyone regretted what happened with you,” Namjoon says, looking at you with pain in his eyes.

You sigh and look around. You sit on a makeshift post with Namjoon, looking out at the woods around the house. How many undead bodies were hidden amongst those trees?

“When you were out here, did you ever look at the moon?” you look at Namjoon. So much has changed in the last six months, you’ve changed so much, you can sit and talk to the former idol rapper like any other man you’ve met.

“Yes? Sometimes,” he says and you smile.

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?”

“Shift change!” Jungkook pokes his head up from the ladder connected to your vantage point.

---

You poke Taehyung’s side. “Psst, I’m taking Jungkook’s spot.” The singer grumbles in his sleep and you’re not sure he heard you, but the bed looks too inviting to resist.

The bed feels like heaven, it feels like a cloud, so why can’t you sleep, even in your exhaustion? It might have something to do with Taehyung latching onto you in his sleep, his leg over your body as he cuddles himself into your side. You can feel his warm breath against your shoulder, his prickly chin pressed against your back. Eventually when you allow yourself to close your eyes, and let your mind drift to a reality where you weren’t in a strange bed with a man you barely knew and think of your old home, your old room, the nights when your ex would stay over, only then you fell asleep.

You wake up and Taehyung is already gone. You stretch your limbs against the covers, and bump your hands into a body. In Taehyung's spot, sits Jungkook, reading a book.

His presence startles you enough to shake the morning’s haze away, and you sit up offering him a soft, “Good morning.”

“Y/n, you smell good.” Jungkook says the strange compliment out of nowhere.

“…thank…you?”

“I mean, you smell clean.”

You raise your eyebrows, yawning, “Yes, because I clean myself. I’m not a savage.”

“Yeah, but you smell like soap...when I hugged you...” he bites his lip in thought.

“Because I clean myself with soap.”

His eyes go wide with the information, “You have soap? Can I have some?”

You swallow hard. Why does he have to look at you with puppy dog eyes? “Why should I share with you? You basically left me for dead,” you glare at him.

“I’m sorry.”

“You said that. Do you even have a way to shower or bath?”

“We fill jugs from the lake, sometimes we heat the water up too, but it’s too dangerous to go there often.”

“Why?”

“Well, the, you know, zombies?”

“Oh.” That’s right. You’re supposed to be scared of them.

The idea of bathing in a lake sounds too intriguing, “Okay, well if you tell me how to get there on my own, then I will give you some soap. Deal?”

Jungkook plays with the worn and crinkled book pages, “What if something happens to you? It would be all my fault.”

You roll your eyes, “Nothing is going to happen to me.”

“No, I’ll come with you.”

“No! It’s too dangerous.”

“Exactly, I’m not telling you! We can wait until the next supply run.”

“But I want to swim in the lake now,” you whine. “You won’t tell me?” you say, “Not even for conditioner?”

Jungkook thinks about your offer briefly. “No. I don’t want anything to happen to you.” You wish you could be annoyed at him, you really want to go to the lake now, but his concern for you is endearing “Please, just soap. I’ll...sing you a song.”

You laugh. “That is very tempting...not a chance!”

---

You tap Yoongi on the back, he looks up from his notebook. “What are you doing?” you ask.

“Writing.”

“Lyrics?”

Yoongi clears his throat. “Is there something I can help you with?”

“Yes actually. Can you tell me how to get to the lake?”

“Why do you want to know that?”

“Because I’m supposed to go to the lake.”

Yoongi puts his notebook down and crosses his arms, you hadn’t counted on him to get so interested in your questioning. You hoped he would have just told you. “It’s at least another two weeks before we are supposed to the lake.”

“Yes, well, Namjoon changed the schedule. So I’m supposed to go to the lake.”

His eyes look you up and down, “No he didn’t, you’re lying.”

“How the hell do you know? I just talk to Nam-”

“Because I’m the one who decides when we leave. Why the hell are you lying?”

Dammit. “Ugh, can’t I just want to go to a fucking lake? I don’t want to be all gross and sweaty like you guys.”

“It’s dangerous...”

Since when did they all care about your safety? “I don’t care, oh my god. Min Yoongi, if you don’t tell me how to get to this damn lake, I will go look for it myself, if it takes me all day and night.”

“Fine...fine...I’m not going to stop you if you have a death wish.”

“Thank you!” you smile brightly. “And I promise I’ll be fine.” you nudge his shoulder, “Hey, if I die you have permission to kill me.”

“And if you tell anyone I told you, I’ll kill you before the zombies have an opportunity to.”

“Ha! You were always my favorite member.”

Yoongi opens his notebook again, unable to meet your eyes anymore. “Just listen before I change my mind.”

---

“Have you seen y/n? Hey! Have you seen y/n?” Jungkook asks Hoseok and Jimin, he has visited every single room in the house twice and walked the perimeter a dozen times.

“She’s not inside?” Hoseok asks.

“No! I’m scared-I’m scared she went to the lake.”

“Why would she do that?” Jimin asks.

“I think she wanted to take a bath? I don't know!”

“Well, did you tell her there’s a field of zombies in the way before you get to the lake?” Jin says, walking up to the group with Namjoon, Taehyung, and that asshole Dev.

“No, I didn’t tell her how to get there.”

Yoongi listens to his bandmates talk about you and takes a deep breath trying to calm his nerves. The sun is setting in the distance.

“I told her.”

“What?!”

“We have to go find her!”

“We have to get inside, it’s getting dark.” Dev says.

“I’ll go search for her-” Jin moves to leave.

“No, it’s too dangerous, you’ll get yourself killed-”

“Who’s getting themselves killed?” You stop your bike in front of the group of men. Your hair is still damp, a towel hangs over your shoulders and you are wearing a newly washed pair of joggers and a hoodie, almost dry after your trek. Two bags hang from your handle bars, and you pull them off and hand one bag to Yoongi. “Your clothes, I washed them...because you told me where the lake was.” You walk inside, but not before glaring at a shocked Jungkook.

---

“I didn’t ask you to worry for me. I don’t want you to,” you defend yourself from the three men currently yelling at you.

Namjoon, Jin, and Jungkook look at you like three upset dads, and you are ready to play the part of rebellious teenage daughter.

“Okay, we need to set some rules-” Namjoon starts.

“Why?”

“So you don’t get yourself killed!” Jungkook yells.

“I’m not-”

“What about us, what if some of them followed you back and then they attack us here?” Jin asks you, a serious look in his eyes that makes you feel guilty even though you know you have nothing to feel guilty about. You don’t want to tell them you killed all the zombies you came across, so many you lost count.

“I was careful.”

“Okay, but we have rules to keep everyone safe. You have to follow them too y/n.”

“So you want me to just follow a bunch of rules that you men came up with? Great, the one thing that hasn’t been destroyed in the apocalypse has to be The Patriarchy.” You cross your arms and they look at each other at a loss for words.

“Fine, I won’t go back to the lake, alright? Unless I get permission, okay? And I’ll stand guard tonight, if any zombies come I’ll make sure they won’t get anywhere near you guys.”

“You don’t have to-” but you’re already making your way to the post before they can argue.

---

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding me!”

Looks like your post partner tonight is that asshole Dev. He makes his way beside you. “Can we talk?”

“Do I have much of a choice now that I’m a captive audience?”

“I know you hate me, but you would have done the same thing in my situation!” His shitty apology doesn’t surprise you, it annoys you more than anything.

“I would not have done that, because I’m not a psychopath.”

“I was just trying to survive. I think we’ve all done things we’ve regretted trying to survive, you’re telling me you haven’t?”

You roll your eyes, but you can’t help but remember the family overrun by zombies you didn’t help, the countless screams of victims you walked away from. It hurts your heart, but these circumstances were something you came across, not something you actively created, there is no justification for what he did in your mind.

After a minute of silence Dev’s annoying voice starts up again, “You look good, you look better than I remember.”

You scoff, “Please just give me a reason to castrate you.” And he stops talking until Taehyung and Jimin come to relieve you.

---

The days go by and you start to get along with everyone, except for Dev, Dev is an asshole.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Put lipstick on?”

“Because I like this shade.” You are being obtuse on purpose. You don’t want to tell Hoseok you still put makeup on because it makes you feel human, it’s one of the only creature comforts you can still participate in, and wearing lipstick and a bit of eyeliner makes living this dystopian nightmare a bit more bearable, you want to at least die looking good.

“Hey, does Kangho have any scissors, I could give you a haircut?”

You end up giving all the men haircuts, even that asshole Dev because you didn’t want to ruin the mood. You cut off the last bits of dye on their ends, trimming their hair to the best of your ability. You kept Jungkook’s hair long, giving him an undercut instead, and pulled his hair into a bun with one of your priceless hair ties.

Everything was going good, until one day the person you least expected to ruin your cohabitation caused a rift that couldn’t be fixed.

-

The security guard, Minho, seems sweet, and you’ve accepted was only doing his job when he left you for dead, starts talking more and more to you. He’s easy to talk to, he feels like someone you might have had a chance with in your pre-apocalyptic life.

Being around a ton of testosterone wasn’t bad, but it was isolating. Sometimes you think they forgot you were a woman. Going around the place half naked, always flexing their muscles cutting wood or practice fighting, cuddling you at night, like you were expected to not feel things from the way they grabbed your hands and pulled you close on supply runs, or sat so close to you you were practically in the laps.

The former boyband treated you like another one of the guys, but their body guard was a different story, he was definitely flirty with you. And you were longing for a different kind of human contact. So the next time you’re alone together on night watch you give him a kiss on the cheek.

You weren’t expecting his swift change in personality. Being around the polite singers made you forget that not all men were so well mannered.

He had grabbed the opportunity and kissed you, on the lips instead. It was nice, until he deepened the kiss, pulling you closer, hands on your chest before you could even properly kiss him back.

“Can we just slow down a second?” You try to push him away when Minho snakes his hand under your shirt. His lips attach themselves to your neck and you squirm away from his grasp.

“No, I said no!” You glare at him when he pulls away and looks at you annoyed, and you decide to leave him to look out by his damn self, jumping down to the ground and stomping away.

Minho looks over the ledge, face scrunched up in frustration, “You could at least make yourself useful.”

You laugh at that. A loud mocking laugh that you knew would get you in even more trouble, but you don’t care.

“What the fuck is so funny?”

“How pathetic you are.”

And then he climbs down and you brace yourself for the worst. He hits you and you fall back with his crushing weight on top of you.

Monster is all you can think, when he yanks your shirt up, revealing your bra.

He pauses, looking at your exposed skin, jaw slack as his eyes refocus to roam over your body in the darkness more carefully.

You take that moment to kick him straight in the groin, in the most satisfying of hits that knocks the wind completely out of him, and you let out a piercing scream that will probably alert every undead person in the area.

The men inside run out carrying weapons, and see you on the ground, covering yourself quickly with a swollen lip and it doesn’t take an 148 IQ to tell them what’s going on.

Jin pulls you to your feet. Your body shakes with adrenaline while you clutch onto his arm for support.

The singers move in front of you to guard you from their bodyguard.

“What the hell is wrong with you?” You’ve never seen the leader so angry before.

“Kim, she came onto me, she kissed me first.”

You scoff, “That doesn’t give you permission to take advantage of me, idiot.”

“Shut the hell up, I’m not talking to you. You’re just a dumb fangirl who got lucky-”

“I’m actually very smart, you dumbass muscle head bastard. Don’t take your shit out on me just because you peaked in high school!”

The men keep you and him apart as he jumps to grab you.

Minho stops fighting and moves away, winded from being held back by everyone. “Stop this.” His hands on his hips as he steadies his breathing, “Just let me have her.” He waves his hand for them to hurry up, acting like he somehow suddenly had the authority to start making demands.

Namjoon feels disgusted by his long time friend. Everyone is looking to him to solve the situation, but he can barely contain his anger.

“Leave.”

“Namjoon, how long have we known each other, how long have I protected you, huh?”

“You need to go-”

“It’s night time, how am I supposed to-”

“Leave! Before I make you,” Namjoon’s growls.

Minho stands his ground, “I would like to see you try, you think you can beat me in a fight?”

“Against all nine of us, you’ll lose.” Jimin stands next to his leader.

“Ugh, I’ll go,” you swallow, this is not what you wanted, someone getting themselves hurt over you.

“Stop, no.” Jin is already pulling you into a protective embrace, hushing you. “Come on, let’s go inside-”

"You're really going to choose her over me?!"

The argument is halted when a low gurgling noise in the distance is heard. It was a wonder the monsters hadn’t shown up sooner the way everyone was yelling at each other.

Everyone runs inside, barricading the doors. The house is quiet now, no one dares to speak as grunts and growls are heard in every direction.

Everyone stays up until the sun rises. The singers are in a group whispering to each other, while you sit next to the old man, who has an axe in his lap, ready to protect you. Dev sits by the door, looking through the cracks for any sign of the undead. The body guard stands alone, and you wonder what he’s planning next.

Namjoon calls for you to join them and the bodyguard starts walking over as well, and the argument starts all over again.

“He didn’t say ‘come here, rapist asshole,”

“You kissed me first-”

“We’re leaving for Seoul.” The leader proclaims.

Dev decides to finally insert himself into the conversation, “What?! We have a good thing going here, it’s too dangerous to leave!”

“We’ve stayed here too long. The plan was always to go to Seoul.” Yoongi says.

“Our families could still be in Seoul,” Taehyung says, "The embassy is in Seoul too, for you and y/n.”

“You’re not coming with us,” Namjoon says to the bodyguard.

“Why would I want to?” Minho grits out.

“What do you think, y/n?” Jimin asks.

Suddenly all eyes are on you. “Yeah,” you nod. “That’s a good idea.”

“WHAT?!” Dev’s annoying voice is back.

“Well, actually, in my opinion it’s a horrible idea. But, I mean, it’s good to have a goal right? If there is even the slightest possibility you could find your families, I say you should take it...I would.” You look around at the men with hopeful eyes. “Who knows, maybe every single zombie movie in existence had it wrong.” Yoongi laughs, proving to be your favorite again. “If you guys are headed to Seoul, then I’ll go too.”

---

Let me know who you want to spare, you may only choose one member :D.

[maxwellhauskaffee]

That's the tragic part, and I think it's heavily implied, if not shown, through his relationship with Chuck.

Maybe it's the autism and adhd, but I've always been the "I want that, I'll get that" kind of person, even as a kid.

There was a time when I couldn't communicate as a toddler and cried a lot due to colic, so my parents somewhat spoiled me in an attempt to soothe me. It was fixed medically, but as a kid, I knew tantrums got results, so they sent me to a correctional program lmao. They learned there and elsewhere I also had autism which influenced aspects of my behaviour along with my then selective mutism. I think those genetics and experiences shaped the behavior I mentioned earlier.

If my parents continued to spoil me, I might have gotten what I wanted through amoral means, like the time I stole something at four and didn't get caught. But my parents instilled a solid moral compass and empathy for others, and I learned through them and society that I had to accommodate and be respectful of others to have a higher chance of getting what I wanted. Thankfully, I was mostly rewarded through hard work, whether brief or long-term, and was humbled and self-aware enough to learn from my mistakes early on.

If my parents and society hadn’t shaped my natural instincts in a productive way, without dismissing them, I could’ve ended up like Jimmy.

I think that's the sad part. His mother is implied to have spoiled him, and so did his father. But Chuck took the extreme “other” route, while society was more neutral or in the middle. None of these experiences shaped Jimmy in a way that would've helped him - meaning, they didn't embrace his eccentric charisma to better direct and influence it.

Jimmy’s like a collie. If you don’t temper and work with them, you might end up with a weirdly organized house at best or a kid missing chunks of their face from their herding instinct at worst.

Except, unlike animals, Jimmy seems aware of his faults. He knowingly falls into temptation despite Kim being the handler he needs, giving him many healthy outs ( eg Davis & Main ). And I know he quit because they leashed his creativity, but they also had a brand to uphold and were very lenient. They're a perfect example of that "middle" example I mentioned.

That’s the real tragedy of Jimmy's situation. He couldn't temper himself where he should, nor could he find a place that he fit into. The closest was where he was working in elder law and sharing an office with Kim. He was doing very well with it too, but couldn't help and let his greed consume and fuck that up too. Although he did do the right thing and fixed his mistake with Irene.

The sad thing about Jimmy is that I don’t think he believed he could be a good person.

I think he knew he made decisions as a kid not only from influence from his father and society, but because once he saw he could get away with it and was good - he wanted to.

But I also believe he desperately sought approval from others because he believed if he did the right dance and gained their approval THAT would convince him he could be good.

He knew deep down he was rotten. He knew he couldn’t trust himself to not be. But hoped that others saw something he was blind to and could show him what it was.

But people and society kept him down just enough to dissuade him. He was too addicted to the ease of success of being a con artist because his attempts to help his dad as a kid and stand up to swindlers failed. His attempts to be an ethical lawyer failed. Few saw or encouraged his ethical side while tolerating his eccentric way of doing things.

There are glimpses of him doing the right thing and it’s sad he couldn’t see that when he did how proud it made people like Howard and Kim. He couldn’t find the worth in that because he was too greedy.

[emiliosandozsequence]

15 Qs / 15 Mutuals

tagged by @fearty <3 <3 <3

1. Are you named after anyone? my birth name, no, but my name that i go by (emilio) yes (and i will take this opportunity to tell you all to read the sparrow).

2. When was the last time you cried? i'm latinx and irish. i don't talk about these things even with a gun to my head.

3. Do you have kids? absolutely not omg what am i a child bride

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot? probably too much 😭

5. What's the first thing you notice about people? i hardly leave the house tbh

6. What's your eye color? it's dark brown except for sometimes in the sun it's green.

7. Scary movies or happy endings? scary forever!!!!!!

8. Any special talents? i have perfect pitch and can sing literally any song as long as i know the lyrics.

9. Where were you born? in the united states. i hate it here lmao

10. What are your hobbies? reading, writing, and coloring mainly, but i'm hardly doing any of that right now because i'm severely depressed.

11. Have you any pets? two cats <3 one is a persian himalayan mix and the other is a norweigan cat maine coon mix!! <3

12. What sports do you play/have you played? i used to irish dance and fence before my disabilities nerfed me to the point where i can't lol i also used to play soccer, but i quit that so fast because it was too much for me.

13. How tall are you? almost definitely shorter than you

14. Favorite subject in school? none of them!!!! i hated school!!!!!!!!! my fav class was my film class my senior year tho.

15. Dream job? i do not dream of labor <3

i tag @thinking-in-broken-scenes @malemyths @naysaltysalmon @shouldvemarried @iloveyoumorethangod @angelcuttongue @thesparrow1996 and anyone else who wants to!! feel free to say i tagged you!!

[lleldey]

the broken vow is so overwhelming and mindblowing, i cried while reading it idek why 😭😭😭 you’ve a great job creating this masterpiece! 🔥 but i have few questions lingering in my mind, 1. what is the backstory behind their divorce? (might missed it bc tears got my eyes blurry lol) 2. what happened to tae afterwards? 🥺 3. will y/n love jk as much as before after what he had done? (not gonna ask about jk since he’s the yandere here so the answer is obvious lmao)

Hi! Yeah, you weren’t the only one who was crying over the story - the first scene I wrote was of him crying in the apartment. Somehow his backstory really affected me, and one thing led to another - I was crying for his character.

But! I should disclose that my sympathy was so prominent simply because I can’t imagine the pain of your closest person leaving you (we do not support his yandere actions). Even more so, if you wake up from coma, and are expected to simply deal with it - I don’t think I would be able to cope with that. So, my heart really cried out for him.

And for your questions!

1. I never disclosed it word-for-word, rather mentioned it every once in a while, so no worries! The idea is, that JK got into a motorcycle accident after which his body went into a coma-like state. He was like that for almost 8 years, and in that time MC met Tae. She decided to move on with her life after doctors said there’s basically no hope left for him to ever wake up. And after waiting 5 years for him, she went ahead with the divorce.

I actually went into a deep-dive of how divorces happen if one of the parties is in coma, and turns out you have to present hard evidence that the person is to never wake up. That ties into the last plot - fraud documents. JK pressurised the doctors to testify that they never gave out these documents to MC, and so the story arch with court/annulled divorce begins. (The last part is completely made up, so I hope that none of my readers study/work within law departments 🙈)

2. The annulled divorce leads to MC’s and Tae’s marriage to be invalid. But at the end of the story we see, that MC succumbs to JK’s scheme, and decides to stay with him. Therefore, Tae is let free of JK’s wrath (although, there will always be distaste between both of them).

Except for JK’s yandere tendencies, he has very gentle characteristics; MC for sure made JK pull some strings so that his farm is back in business.

But aside from business factors, he’s heart broken. They had been married for 2 years at that point, so he had clear vision of his future (that being side by side with MC). And now that it’s torn apart, he has to learn how to be alone again.

3. It’s hard to measure how much you love someone. JK will always hold a dear place in her heart - at the end of the day, they are each others first love. Love has always tied them together, and it will continue to do so.

I’m rather thinking of how their every day life looks like - MC is definitely more conscious around him; JK displayed his power over her, and that left her extremely restless. A bigger factor tho would be the one I only lightly touched upon - we know that coma influenced JK’s mental and physical health, but we looked over how it influenced MC’s. She was by his bedside for 5 years almost every day. And now the poor woman is unable to do so much as to even watch him sleep. Wouldn’t be surprised if JK woke up with an empty bed space, only to find her sleeping in the living room 🤷🏼‍♀️

Also, I saw you recommending LIAG, thank you so much, remote embraces wherever you are!

Thank you for the ask, hope this helped! ☺️

[gayboygaming]

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope. My mom picked the most generic name possible but gave it a french spin to make it look interesting. Nobody spelled it correctly as a result. The name I picked later came about because me and my friends were looking for some nice new name for me. Also not related to any famous person or whatever.

2. when was the last time you cried?

Literally like an hour ago. Today was a little stressful :(

3. do you have kids?

no never. i like money!

4. what sports do you play/have played?

All of them. I played football for half my life like any other child, then table tennis, basketball, chess, shooting range, hockey and probably more. Ended up sticking to none of them except for the shooting range every once in a while. Gotta know how to use a gun for reasons

5. do you use sarcasm?

Thats like 90% of my personality and humor yeah. Im German, dry sarcasm is all i have

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

Always the hair. Especially when it looks super pretty

7. what's your eye colour?

Brown. Generic af but theyre kinda pretty in the sunlight ive been told

8. scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies are scary me no like

9. any talents?

idk. im smart i guess? i speak english fluently. im pretty proud of that. thats it me thinks

10. where were you born?

The industrial capital of Germany. Not a livable place

11. what are your hobbies?

listening to music, reading and video games. i can explain league of legends lore to you for a day straight. also everyone needs to read 1984. its a very good book i promise

12. do you have any pets?

2 kitties

13. how tall are you?

1,76m. Or 5´7 in Freedom

14. favorite subject in school?

History. i still get invited for coffee by my old history teacher lmao. nothing but respect for the guy. hes a big reason why i took so many history classes in uni.

15. dream job?

well i used to be a part of the local socialist party and wanted to make a career there after uni but theyre dissolving so i dont really know. teacher maybe? professor?

tagging others (sorry if you've already been tagged lmao) participate if you want

@afemwolfboy @nycartscene @syllyyy @agaypsychicrat @wolffuwu @kobuskobus

15 people, 15 questions

Thank you @transboyzuko and @kiki-strike for tagging me!!

1.) Are you named after anyone?

Nope. My parents nearly called me Isabella but they chose Sofia last minute (I’m glad they did bc it’s Portuguese and there’s also like a million Isabellas.)

2.) When was the last time you cried?

Thursday last week bc I watched a movie in class that I didn’t expect to be triggered by but Oh Well.

3.) Do you have kids?

I don’t even have a job 😭

4.) What sports do you play/have played?

I’m absolutely terrible at every conceivable sport and hate it with a passion but I did play netball for like, six years when I was really young. Still shit at it tho lol.

5.) Do you use sarcasm?

When I need to, yes. But not if I know it’s gonna upset someone.

6.) What’s the first thing you notice about people?

Their eyes. I don’t know why it’s so random but I’m always drawn to eyes, maybe it’s because they’re the window to the soul or maybe it’s bc that’s the centre of the face and I’m scared shitless of first impressions and always think about Eye Contact.

7.) What’s your eye colour?

Green but it shifts from forest green when I wear dark green clothes to lighter green when I wear (shocker) lighter green clothes.

8.) Scary movies or happy endings?

I cannot be paid or coerced to watch anything vaguely scary so I’m strongly on the happy endings side. I just want my fictional characters to have good lives man 😭😭

9.) Any talents?

Well, I am a bit of an artist. That’s quite underground though, I’m not sure if people know? (I’m not funny) No but seriously I draw, sing, act, write, play3 instruments, I can do accents? If that counts lol. My friends say my ability to be nice to anyone is a talent, which is sweet so I’ll add it :)

10.) Where were you born?

Idk I just was

11.) What are your hobbies?

Drawing, singing, writing fanfic (guilty pleasure), reading fanfic, playing instruments, history facts (yes I’m a nerd shut up)

12.) Do you have any pets?

Never had one :’)

13.) How tall are you?

5’7 and still getting taller

14.) Favourite subject in school?

English english english I knoWW we all hate writing essays but uh. I don’t? It’s kinda fun actually 😭 and I like analysing poems? Uh. My English teacher is a gift to the earth so maybe that’s why

15.) Dream job?

Psychologist. I’ve always wanted to help people (especially teens) with whatever they’re going through, neurodivergent people, queer and trans people. Literally anyone who I can help. I know it’s a hard job, and it takes a lot of work, but honestly? Seeing people happier or if I can help at least one person would be worth it :)

Tagging people who might already have been tagged uhhhh but it’s fine probably

@adriancatrin @haroldtea @please-dont-burn-out @electro-strike-zukka-time @erisenyo @divorcedzukka @strrwbrrryjam @sukiluvvs @sukidude @bonksoundeffect @blu3berrydraws @mike-queerler @myguiltyartpleasure @moncuries @marriedzukka