#ANYWAY.... THIS IS A SHIPPING CALL....... i go a little batshit w ships

[jadebone]

ohhhhh u wanna ship with them sooooooooooooo bad they are sooooooooooo normal and regular

thank u so much to arden @ depreciate for the wonderful template that made my life a 1000x easier...

[puppet2611]

//from 5.12.23

hey.... im going a lil cray cray over lf x a5 crossover au.. (also 8:11 bcz im a loser for oc x canon :3)(still coping over this stomache) if i dont send smth in 5 minutes shoot me im going too cray cray/j

lf already kind of has ties to a5 since the entities still being alive and just kinda moving around but not really - maybe ill age up adam and oliver to use as background characters but whos knowss

not canon or anything just a silly little thought but erm. what if all 3 were connected via religion 😁 emilio, natalia, charlotte and isabella from lf already have religious backgrounds, 8:11 practically revolves around religion and a5 entities pretending to be angels could wreck some havoc on the damned basilica teehee,,, since im too silly with char.ai most of the characters mentioned already interacted w/ 8:11 bots to kinda get an idea of how everything would play out even if it was ooc... younger emilio and amelia def actually confided in francis while everyone else was at least a bit suspicious (minus isabella but uhmmm. lore reasons) idk abt the entities since i havent rlly worked on anything but their designs but maybe ill give them different abilities and only one of them knows francis' true intentions:3c

OH YEAH idk if ill ever tell him abt it but maybee i could throw in adams ocs too since bros absolutely batshit insane over 8:11 rn. i have screenshots of him being insanely gay over a french guy btw if anyone wanted to see/j ANYWAY ehheheee maybe felix and samuel knew the martin kids at some point :33 bunch of religiously traumatized kids meeting, what could happen??? (felix and emilio both stabbed their siblings at skme point 💀) ANYWAYS i think sam and samuel would get along not just because uhh similar names but idk since were kinda split between making sam a bitch or actually nice... oh and i never drew sam or amelia properly yet whoops a5 exploded my mind

btw abt the entity mfs id like to think most of them usually stay in human forms except for atlas whos kinda the socially awkward one whod rather stay as an animal so no one tries to talk to him lmfao

but hes also extra so anyone at the basilica sees a fucking bear with antlers and the fur pattern of a deer and gets jumpscared (they all get used to it later and only vistors get jumpscared) OH AND ABT THE OC X CANON STUFF. not rlly shipping i just dk what else to call it but tee hee maybe isabella and vittorino have mad beef because her dad died at the basilica not soon after vitto joined so shes mad sus 😁😁 but only to be a bitch bcz she finds him utterly disgusting. her cousin allen kills him bcz he kinda was suffering anyway and she actually helped plan it loll

everytime girl comes across the stupid hoe they always glare at each other or get in a fight... usually verbal bcz natalia would go rabid if vitto tried to hit bella ykyk

oh and since im trying to align the stories together a bunch of ages r gonna have to change... idk if emilio or oliver is gonna be the older one but there is no way in hell a priest is younger than someone still in school... but then again overthinker wont stop comparing emmy to felix so ion wanna make him too close to blondies age but then again again felix is like 50 now... ill probably make emmy 36 and amelia 41 ig. klaus has too many white hairs to only be 40 anyway/hj but then adams still older than klaus.... i mean ig i could just use the excuse that he dyes his hair since he already has highlights

this is a whole mess uhm.

im unoriginal asf so emilio and jericho can bond over being people pleasers and cupioromantic but their first and only ever crush was abusive 😁😁 (<- definitely not projecting) (i lied. jericho only ever gets with elio bcz of that one time on valentines day irl) (im normal i swear)

OH WHILE IM TALKUNG ABT EMILIO. BEFORE I FORGET

bro went from snarky rude ass hoe to the most pathetic bird known to man for silliness reasons/hj

bros insanely mentally unstable, has chronic pain and heart problems, trust problems and definitely either a drinking or smoking problem. hell he can even jack both of them if he wants/j uhm. but i decided to make him less of a mary sue with all the language stuff n shit. idk if i ever mentioned it but who cares its my channel grr/j anyways instead lf the grocery list of languages he can speak, he can only speak english, greek, and belarusian 👍 also asl but idk if youd count that as smth he can speak

still torturing his pathetic ahh but anywayss abt that one tobias/future emilio art. the snake he has was originally gonna be named mobius for his symbolism stuff (and a hi3 ref/silly) but maybee i might rename the snake fang or michael as in adams late husband because uhmmm. what if adam was like a father figure to him when they met and he at some point got him a snake 👍👍 (he wouldve gotten a rabbit but uhm. vitto symbolism. and bro is traumatized from the vittorino ais..)

that is all for neow bcz i need to go take medicine 😭

[boimgfrog]

give us the top ot3s

No I need you to understand literally every single love triangle would be better as an ot3

But off the top of my head,

Edward, Bella, and Jacob from Twilight. If I ever go through with my twilight rewrite this will be canon I promise you that.

Personally I rly ship Iida, Deku, and Uraraka from mha, but they're not a love triangle so they don't count here

Gosh okay so there's this kids show on netflix called Free Rein, it's a horse show with bad acting and a batshit plot, but i watch every new season with my irl friend cos it's funny and we're honestly a little too invested at this point.

Anyways, the main love triangle from that, Marcus, Zoey, and Pin. They'd be better as a polycule.

You opened my eyes to Anne/Diana/Gilbert from anne of green gables and fuck man, that's rly good I rly love that

Every love triangle in miraculous ladybug, fuck please just date each other it's so much easier (plus the adrien/mari/kagami eps made me ;w;)

Listen I love the ending of lok and I love korrasami but. Korra/Asami/Mako would've slapped fr

AND FINALLY MY FUCKING FAVORITE OT3 THAT I WILL NEVER STOP MANIFESTING INTO EXISTENCE,

Kyoya/Tamaki/Haruhi from ouran high school host club, fuck, dammit, Kyoya was in love with both of them and they both had the hots for kyoya you cowards give this to me-

[chiiquititamoved]

dracula ep 2 - observations

ahhh! the scene is set and i cannot wait for more agatha 

so we open up onto dracula’s castle? i think 

dracula and my beloved aggie are in a room together

wait so are they buddies now? drac’s not trying to eat her or anything, which i find suspicious

there’s a chess game going on with some symbolism i am too tired to grasp

drac starts telling agatha about the voyage he made to england 

scene changes to a ship and the captain having a nightmare about a dismembered hand? idk

now we meet a passenger, dr sharma who’s looking at a body or something

it’s the “grave the children complained about” ??? i’m getting lucy vibes 

the coffin/body is 70 yrs old but there’s fresh scratches on the lid! i wonder where this is going 

ew a very gross body rises out of the coffin 

scene change! we meet a dead guy, piotr

his mum/sister/relative is saying he was going to be a sailor but he died before he could, and there’s this very suspicious guy sweeping in a doorway and listening to the conversation

but then a nun closes the door and locks him in his room

and then the lady relative is told by the priest to stab w/ a stake piotr and she does. wise move, ma’am

this is all taking place close to a shipyard/dock 

oooh suspicious guy is going to the ship and impersonating piotr! interesting 

so it’s established that the one-handed guy from the nightmare the captain had is coming back on the ship. apparently it was the captain’s fault he lost his hand, but the nice one-handed guy is making a joke out of it and it’s all very friendly, but it still haunts our cap i guess

lord and lady ruthven are coming aboard the ship. they just got married, and it’s all very exciting 

the lord jokes about “making it a long voyage” (wink wink) to cap (comedic genius right here) and then this guy who introduced him is like “oh, it will be” we’ve got so many suspicious characters already, i feel so blessed!!

okay - i’ll call the guy who’s pretending to be piotr fake piotr to avoid confusion and i’ll call the other suspicious guy (i think he’s lord and lady ruthven’s servant/secretary? he’s got pretty nice clothes, idk) bob 

there’s an old guy who approaches fake piotr like “are you as inexperienced as you look? are you scared?” and he’s like well yeah and the other guy goes “me too.” ???? that’s reassuring!! 

ah the doctor (i forget his name) and his daughter are boarding 

dracula boards openly as himself because THAT’S a good idea 

agatha, of course, echoes my thoughts and drac’s like “what do you think i would’ve done, lie around in a box for 4 weeks?” uh, yeah, you’re a fucking vamipre

anyway, back to the ship. fake piotr is about to enter a room (no. 9) but this crewmember comes up to him and goes nah you can’t go in there these passengers are sick (he sounds like he’s lying) and fake piotr is like okay thanks i won’t do that then 

there’s fucking flies EVERYWHERE on this ship jesus 

like i get they’re undead and it’s symbolic and suspenseful or whatever but it’s also fucking GROSS

anyway drac comes up to the crewmember, who for some reason is listening at the door of no. 9, and says some creepy stuff to him (turns out he’s from bavaria. this may be relevant later?)

so fake piotr is from romania and he’s boring the handless guy with his “story” - the handless guy points out that it sounds SUPER fucking fake. anyway time for dinner!

so now they show the fancy dining room and lord whatever is there w/ bob (his name’s adisa, actually) and adisa’s like ooh this wine isn’t good i don’t like it and then they argue whatever and the doctor interjects 

OH MY GOD! adisa and the lord are together! the lord’s like you know this marriage is a necessary evil and adisa’s like yeah but it hurts. :,( i feel him man

drac introduces himself to the old lady, bla bla, and then he drinks this crewman’s blood and like absorbs his mannerisms (and his german)

god this is boring i want more of my tragic gay love story 

turns out drac and the old lady (who is a duchess) danced together on her 18th birthday? okay? i don’t care where’s adisa 

and that’s the night the duchess’s mother disappeared. great. 

now drac drinks the old lady’s blood

there’s a fog around the ship... it seems to be following them... how mysterious...

okay now drac is creeping out fake pietro by telling him a gross story because he was looking in a barrel? I DON’T CARE WHERE IS ADISA

ahh finally adisa’s back. so dorabella (the gay lord’s wife) is tired (and everyone else is like OOHhoo i wonder why) but drac seems to be on to them. uh oh

honestly other than agatha adisa and the lord are the only characters i actually want to have a happy ending 

okay everyone’s asleep but doc, and he’s having flashbacks or whatever to that body from before 

he gives his sleeping daughter (who’s mute + deaf, btw, forgot to mention that) a touching little monologue abt how there’s monsters in this world and he’ll protect her (that sounds sarcastic but it actually is sweet) 

lady whatever (gay’s wife) goes out on deck in the night, for a walk, but meets dracula out there 

he’s kinda flirting/talking w/ her outside but she’s obviously in love with her husband, unfortunately

m’lady reveals she’s going to america

dracula shows her the water in a barrel or something? but refers to it as a mirror? he shows her a pic of her and her husband in the reflection and goes “i thought i’d show you a picture of what might have been,” or something dramatic like that 

the doctor’s daughter starts bleeding from her face in her bed, and she wakes up

turns out the blood is from the lady and is dripping through the ship’s deck! 

doc’s daughter goes up to investigate and sees drac drinking the lady’s blood

:( i really don’t want the doc’s daughter to die

well of course now drac is threatening her >:(

like i feel bad for dorabella but i want adisa to be happy. i’m very conflicted

they’re going to search for the murderer now 

DRACULA IS SO OBVIOUSLY THE CULPRIT OH MY GOD. he keeps saying the most suspicious things and nobody cares

okay now drac is saying that they should search cabin no. 9? which only the captain has access to, for some reason, and he’s super anxious to not let anyone else in?

there’s a bunch of flies in cabin no. 9. great, more death

it’s established that there is actually another person in cabin 9, the mates hear breathing or something

drac: “ah, but you’re a scientist.” doctor: “yes, i was, at the university of calcutta. are you a scientist yourself?” “no, but i have an appetite for it.”

this guy gets injured because of the fog or something 

dracula is like addicted to blood, and he can’t stand the sight of it or something 

NO THE LORD RUTWHATEVER IS WITH DRACULA 

IF HE’S GOING TO CHEAT ON ADISA I WILL RIOT

oh no thank god everyone else is in the room with him 

The gay lord’s friend who told him to take this ship is called balaur? oh my god balaur is the dude that the rich old lady said was paying for her trip to england in the beginning! i feel like we’re onto something my dudes 

i was right! balaur is also the doctor’s sponsor

So the injured guy (the crewmember) gets woken up by the gay lord’s wife and she’s like ooh it’s okay but then it turns out it’s dracula pretending to be her and he drinks the guy’s blood

Ooooh shit most of the crew left on a lifeboat!!! Shit

NOW WE’RE FINALLY GOING TO SEE WHO’S IN CABIN NINE! 

Okay so we cut back to drac, who spouts some cryptic bullshit as usual 

Ahhhh we’re finally getting an explanation for why he and agatha are here! She gets up ans she’s like “how did i get here? We were at the convent!” and dracula let mina go? But he didn’t let agatha go

Agatha’s like “the people you feed on, you make them dream!” 

NO, HE DRANK AGATHA’S BLOOD????!!

OH MY GOD AGATHA’S IN CABIN NUMBER NINE 

Drac goes into the cabin and he’s like agatha is the murderer! 

And they’re about to hang her!!!!!! No but she’s the love of my life!!!!

okay the captain and the doctor are like she couldn’t possibly have done it! she’s too weak

now, my darling agatha, who of course has her wits about her, says that she’s a vampire so they can’t hang her! and they’re like uh okay i kinda believe her

but then drac starts to kick the barrel from under her! and aggie BITES HER LIP AND THE BLOOD FALLS 

dracula goes a little batshit (! get it???) and they see it! and then the doctor’s daughter (who you will recall i ALWAYS had faith in) comes in and makes the sign of the cross and drac’s repulsed

IS THE DAY SAVED? no, there’s 30 minutes left in the episode

DRACULA RUNS AWAY WHILE THEY’RE SAVING AGATHA 

AND MY HERO (AGATHA, OBVIOUSLY) JUST SITS UP AND GOES “i am sister agatha van helsing of the st mary’s convent, budapest. captain sokolov, you are relieved of command.” JUST LIKE THAT! MY HERO! 

okay so the doctor has a little potion for if he’s undead? I guess it kills an undead person

the remaining crew members threw all of the boxes of earth but one off of the ship (drac needs to sleep on transylvanian earth for some reason?)

gay lord just called dracula seductive >:( where’s adisa?? I miss him 

WhAT the FUCK? gay lord LIKES dracula? 

NO ARE GAY LORD AND DRACULA GOING TO FUCK

GAY LORD IS ON DRACULA’S SIDE 

DOCTOR AND HIS DAUGHTER JUST PULLED SOME CROSSES BECAUSE DUH AND GAY LORD IS THREATENING TO SHOOT THEM

NO NOW THE DOCTOR AND HIS DAUGHTER ARE DEAD 

AND DRACULA JUST STARTS TO DRINK THE LORD’S BLOOD 

Fake piotr then walks into the cabin and is like “wtf,” obviously, and then runs up to the deck and tells people, who are nailing pages of the bible to the deck 

Oh no adisa’s sad! He’s crying no :,( 

They’re all in the bible circle tho

Oookay so they were suspicious of piotr because last time drac took over harker’s body 

So now they’re all telling fake piotr to step out of the circle and back in 

Fake piotr does it and succeeds but then ofc fucking dracula appears. *eye roll* 

So adisa was like hey what the fuck why is religion the only thing stopping dracula? This is bullshit 

and adisa’s like drac you took the love of my life :((( no adisa he’s not worth it!!!

dracula’s taunting adisa to step out of the circle!!! Nooooo

NO HE STEPS OUT OF THE CIRCLE

ADISA SHOOTS DRACULA NO

NO DRACULA BITES ADISA!!!:((((

Fake piotr lunges at dracula but he throws him down and a barrel pops open 

The captain comes at him too

they’re all fighting him!!! 

They set him on fire! About fucking time 

He jumps into the water 

Okay this is making me nervous where did he go

Scene change! It’s morning and the sun is shining

“Where’s olgaren?” “cooking.” “just when you think you’re out of danger.”

Fake piotr sees a white bird with its head severed on deck :| 

We’re in the hold now, and aggie is keeping watch on the crate of dirt. The cap comes down and talks to her 

Oooh agatha’s saying that this ship must never reach england. we’ve got one lifeboat left, apparently, so i guess that works

She wants to blow a hole in the hull 

NO AGATHA WANTS TO SINK WITH THE SHIP 

NO I LOVE HER 

SHE SAYS SHE’S GOING TO DIE ANYWAY BECAUSE THE VAMPIRE’S CURSE LIVES INSIDE OF HER 

Awwwwwwwww cap’s giving her a hug :,(

I’m HEARTBROKEN!!!!! AGATHA IS THE LOVE OF MY LIFE

I kinda have a feeling she won’t die tho

Ew there’s a fly buzzing on a doll’s face. hm - totally unrelated, by the way i wonder what dracula is inhabiting 

Okay the guys are all leaving the ship 

Aggie’s praying down below but then she hears a noise and comes up to the cabins 

oh fucking hell dracula’s coming 

great. just fucking great 

oh no it’s the cap! Cap stayed with her on the ship!

fuck is it dracula inhabitng his body?

Agatha just found that dracula put a ton of dirt under a bed and he just slept on that one :/

okay the cap went on deck and agatha followed him but drac killed him before she could do anything 

drac’s like follow me, and walks off 

Agatha looks at cap’s body and cap’s alive!!! And he goes keep him talking!

So agatha goes on deck with drac 

Drac says how he got back on the ship, etc. 

Cap’s climbing towards them! Go! I’m rooting for you! 

Ookay they’re doing some menacing small talk, dracula’s lying, whatever 

Yes!! Cap set the ship on fire!!

Drac’s about to drink agatha’s blood - agatha: “yes, go ahead. The last thing your eyes will ever see is the contempt in mine!” 

He throws her down onto the deck + runs away to the hold

THE SHIP IS EXPLODING!

Agatha’s in the water! She’s drowning noooo

Convo between fake pietro + one handed guy: “They’re dead, then.” “yes.” “what now?” “we honour them.” “how?” “by telling their story.” :,(

huh - so marius (hmHMHM) is fake piotr’s real name

Okay no dracula swims to england (it’s not that far away)

HUH 

WHAT THE FUCK

WHAT THE FUCK?

NOW DRACULA’S IN ENGLAND AND A HELICOPTER ARRIVES??? AND A BUNCH OF MODERN CARS??? AND AGATHA VAN HELSING BUT SHE’S WEARING MODERN CLOTHES?? 

TO BE CONTINUED 

WELL. that’s done i guess. 

oh my god the wc on this thing is once again 2000. i don’t mean for this to happen i promise 

IN CONCLUSION: the next episode had better be fucking good. I mean it, Gatiss. The ending was insane (i had to rewatch it to make sure i wasn’t hallucinating) and honestly? This REEKS of season 4 sherlock (or whichever season it was when everything went to shit). If they make this some kind of ridiculous future au i WILL die. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. 

(P.S. I will try to watch the next episode this weekend! so watch out for (more) deranged ranting.) 

[dukeofishgard]

FFXIV Write 2019. Prompt #1 - Voracious

feat. Duke and Dracyn’s youngest son, Lucien Jr, set in the future. I’ve really been in the mood to write him for a while and explore his character more and ironically this prompt fit him perfectly. No real warnings, other than Lucien Jr is an idiot. 

@sea-wolf-coast-to-coast

“You’re a real piece of work, you know that right Lucien?! I mean, it’s not as though I’ve been sitting here, worried about you or anything! Why the hells should I be when you’re clearly fine and dandy wandering about without a care in the world!”

Lucien winced, opening his mouth to respond but then quickly snapped it shut at the look on the other man’s face, offering instead only an apologetic, weak smile.

“You get back to Limsa and your first instinct isn’t to come let me know you’re back, no of course not, because that’d be too bloody hard for you, aye? No, instead you beeline to the Drowning Wench and find the first bastard willing to listen to your outrageous fething stories!” The man huffed, glaring over at the dark-haired man.

“Um, one moment-” Lucien held up a finger, wagging it slightly, “Do you mean to say you do not believe my stories? I say this because you just called them ‘outrageous’, soo…”

“Yes, Lucien. I utterly believe your batshit story about how you single-handedly rescued an entire ships worth of slaves-”

“It was not single-handedly! Freya was there! I give credit where credits due…” he scratched the back of his head sheepishly, glancing away, “Mainly cos Freya’d kick my ass if I didn’t if I’m being honest…”

“Oh, fine then.” Kiaran retorted, “You and Freya single-handedly destroyed that ship AND a notorious pirate captain AND freed the slaves. That’s why the Maelstrom’s saying they did it-”

“Oh bullshite, are they really!” Lucien stood up, uncaring as the blanket fell off his body and exposing himself as he furiously began to pace around the room, “That’s just my parents work! You know my father worked for them, and my mother obviously is, well, I mean- hugely influential. Twelve, I can’t BELIEVE they’ve actually covered up my work! I mean… I shouldn’t care that much, a real hero does deeds for the good, not for the recognition so- ”

“Shockingly enough, Lucien- I can’t confirm a single detail of that because I barely know a single damned thing about the particulars of your family because YOU, refuse to introduce me to your entire fething family!” Kiaran cut him off, stalking over to point a finger at his face, shaking in annoyance, “You refuse to so much as even consider the idea of me even saying hello to anyone who may be even the most CASUAL of acquaintances.” 

Lucien sputtered for a moment, blue eyes blinking rapidly at the suddenness of his lover’s outburst, waving his hands frantically to attempt to calm him down, “W-...Well, that’s for your own good, I’ve told you!”

“Oh, yes of course,” Kiaran rolled his eyes, turning his back on Lucien and waving a hand in the air, “Your mother, the bloody Duke of Ishgard is overbearing and liable to have a stroke if he finds out you’re serious with anyone… because he’s apparently an ‘immortal’ and fears for your eventual death. Your father is both a former pirate and somehow former Maelstrom . Kidnappings seem to follow your family everywhere and you’ve all got so many enemies out for your blood-” he paused, turning back to stare at Lucien, “That a good enough summary? Really, I’d be less pissed if you just were honest and say you’re not ready to be serious.”

Lucien gaped at him, hands shaking as he balled them into fists, “I am being honest! Why would I lie about all of that?! It’s for your own safety that I keep you at a distance!”

“Oh, sorry I wasn’t aware ‘keeping someone at a distance’ also meant fucking anyone who fawns over you-”

“I don’t fuck just anyone!” Lucien huffed, crossing his arms and looking away, “Only the ones I want too.”

Kiaran snorted, shaking his head, “So. All of them then?” he retorted, rolling his eyes.

“No! Not all of the-”

“He does have a point. You’ve a rather voracious appetite I’ve yet to see satiated, Lucien,” A third voice rose from the door, and the two men blinked- glancing over at the unannounced visitor who stood in the doorway, arms crossed as she surveyed the room, “My apologies, Kiaran. The door was opened, and I was looking for Lucien. Please allow me to take him off your hands.”

Kiaran sighed, rubbing his forehead and waving a hand, “No. It’s fine. I’m used to Lucien barging in here unannounced, why not you as well!” 

“Freyaaa…” Lucien’s voice came out as a whine as he stared at the viera with the saddest puppy eyes he could muster, blue eyes shimmering in the sunlight, “Don’t take his side! Tell him that everything I’ve told him about my family is true! That it’s dangerous for him to be involved with me!” 

The viera named Freya glanced between the two men, light brown ears twitching slightly and black eyes gazing at them balefully as she spoke, “Kiaran, you are a good man. Please understand that Lucien is correct and has spoken the truth… it is absolutely dangerous to be involved with him,” she paused, glancing at the naked dark-haired man who was now smugly looking at Kiaran at her words, “But not because of the reasons he stated. No, he is just an idiot. A foolish idiot. Trust me when I say it is better you stay far away from his foolish endeavors. Now, will you put some clothes on Lucien so we can go and collect our payment from the other day?”

“I- wha- FREYA… that is NOT what I meant for you to say! That’s not- I’m NOT an idiot! I simply have a voracious appetite and lust for adventure and helping others-”

Freya stared at him blankly for a moment before leaning down to pick up his discarded pants and chucking them at his face, “Can you please stop monologuing, shut up, and put clothes on? Yes, all the things you stated about your family are true,” she glanced at Kiaran again with a shrug, “To be honest, he is not wrong about that. The Bellefleur-Navarre’s are not exactly a family that most normal people can handle. I grew up with Lucien and I can still barely deal with the events that seem to consistently befall them,” she glanced back at Lucien who had finally untangled himself from the pants she had thrown, “But my point stands. Lucien is an idiot. Please, let him grow up a bit more before you force him to introduce you to his family.”

Lucien glared at her, throwing his pants onto the ground with a huff and crossing his arms, “I am NOT an idiot-”

“You absolutely are. Do you really think you have the upperhand in this conversation whilst ranting nude, little idiot?” Freya turned to stare at him unblinking, “You may be a morally upstanding man, but you are absolutely an idiot. Now please put on some clothing lest I start judging Kiaran more than I already do for bedding you.”

Kiaran groaned, bringing a hand up to rub at his brow, “For the love of Twelve, would you both just get out of my house? Some of us actually have work we need to do and I can see clearly there’s absolutely no getting through to you yet again, Lucien.”

Lucien glanced at him, now very clearly pouting, “Really? You’re just going to kick me out? Just like that?”

“I’ve done it before, and I am doing it again. Get out. I can’t believe I actually held some manner of affection for you last night that let you come back here in the first place. Grow up Lucien, and then come back to talk. Until then, I’ve got no time for your hyperbolic stories.” 

“I…” Lucien frowned, staring at him for a moment before leaning down and gathering his clothes in a huff, “Fine. Fine! See if I care. You think I care? I don’t. You’ll see one day that I’m not lying and then you’ll feel bad. And I still won’t care!” He turned away, clutching the bundle of his clothes against his chest before stalking out- uncaring that he was still not dressed.

Freya watched as he left before turning to Kiaran with a bow of her head, “Please forgive him. He’s got the best and worst traits of his parents unfortunately, he means well… he is just an utter fool,” she shrugged, “Take care Kiaran. I shall see you in a few days.”

“In a few days?! Do you REALLY think I am going to let that brat back into my house? I’m done with him, and you heard him, he ‘doesn’t care’” Kiaran asked, glaring at her- eyes flaring with annoyance. 

She returned the stare with zero emotion, simply shrugging her shoulders with a nod, “You have every other time,” she said plainly before turning on her heel and left without another word.

----

Outside Lucien had, much to her thanks, put on his pants and was in the process of pulling his shirt over his head- uncaring of the stares of the people on the street.

“Bloody bastard, I swear, I’ve no idea why I put up with him. Blah blah blah, you’re full of shite Lucien, blah blah blah whine whine whine. Seven hells, could you lay off me for one twelves damned tick,” he turned, blue eyes turning to stare icily at Freya as she leaned against the wall to watch him, “You didn’t help a single bit in there, you know. I hope you’re happy.”

Freya shrugged, idly checking her nails, “You are the one who didn’t help yourself. I do not know why you insist on sabotaging your relationship with Kiaran every chance you get. If you were just honest-”

“Freya, you heard him. He doesn’t even believe the basic facts about my family. You expect him to believe the rest? Please. My family is even weirder than what I’ve told him. Whatever, it does not matter anyway. Plenty of other fish in the sea, eh?” he winked at her, a cheeky grin appearing on his face, “Or so they say. Heh, there sure were plenty last night until he showed up and occupied my time-”

“Please-” Freya held up a hand, pushing herself off the wall and shaking her head, “Do not continue. We’ve a payment to collect and another job to start o great hero of Eorzea. Mayhap that will cheer up your clearly broken heart.”

“I do NOT have a broken heart, Freya…!”

“Of course not. You’re just sniffling like a babe because… allergies? Yes?”

“Shut up! Nobody asked you.”

“And you wonder why he treats you like a child, idiot.”

[universal-kitty]

Chocolate, Butterscotch, Saltwater Taffy, Cotton Candy, Peppermint, Sour Patch for Dante!

Candy Themed Self-Shipping Asks!Chocolate: What’s the best gift your f/o has given you?

   Himself... Wait. Can I say that? Pffft, if not-! Then I suppose it was when he went off for a week to do some job. Came back not only with some snacks (which we both do off off on a job w/o the other), but a coat that resembles his. He also admitted he kept it close, so for the first month of owning it, it absolutely reeked of him.

   ...I loved it and I still love it. (He loves it the most because it still reeks of demon-scent, so others who try to mess with me should be getting a clue whenever I wear it.)

Butterscotch: What’s your go-to date night idea with your f/o?

   Lazy days at Devil May Cry. Comfy clothes- optional, if no guests; just the basics- with plenty of our favorite snacks, a pizza, and ice cream waiting for us in the freezer for later.

   Might put the cherry on top with picnics on the roof, on occasion. Do a bit of stargazing, cause he knows I love it.

Saltwater Taffy: Have you and your f/o ever gone to a beach? What do you like to do there?

   A few times! I always say I won’t get back into the water, but... Somehow, I get roped into it, anyways. (So much sand and sea-smell! I love it sometimes, but also it can be such a hassle!! Dante doesn’t help, getting sand in his hair (somehow) and then shaking it out... Ugh.)

   It’s mostly some light sun-soaking for warmth, playing in the water... Dante’s trying to surfboard, with mixed results. I might fuck around and try to build a sandcastle. He gets too handsy and I have to scold him off for being so brazen in public. He just laughs, as usual.... Dork.

   It’s a lot of fun. Especially if we can get others to join us; we’ve done volleyball with Kyrie, Lady, Trish, Nero, and Patty before!! Patty and Kyrie do their best to keep up, but it gets a bit chaotic after a few rounds.

Cotton Candy: Who’s better at carnival games, you or your f/o?

   HIM BY A MILE!!!! Playing games around other friends makes me nervous... Carnival games? While a nice thought, it ramps up my anxiety.... However. Dante usually eggs me on to play with him and it’s led to a few revelations.

   One, he’s a pro at anything that calls to his work. Shooting games and relating (like darts), feats of strength... A professional, really. However, if it involves patience (like those fishing games), I do better than he does.

   ...This still doesn’t stop the fact Dante is the far better than me at most things, LMAO!!

Peppermint: Have you and your f/o ever fought?

   Ehhh, a little? It’s mostly over our own issues... A prime example being how scared we are of losing the other. Dante takes on so many risks; which one is gonna be the end of his life? I can be clumsy sometimes or not notice the obvious and it nearly costs me my life (or worse, actually hurt me) and Dante gets worked up over that. Over which strike he wouldn’t be able to protect me from that ends my life.

   He’s been more anxious since I got pregnant, so I’ve been taking less jobs as of late, but before this... We just needed to air it out, sit down, and then seriously talk about it. He doesn’t like it much, but I know what we need to do in order to keep things from crumbling apart, so he listens to me, thankfully.

Sour Patch: Is there a jealous one in the relationship? You or your f/o?

   I’m a little jealous- who wouldn’t be, with a guy like Dante?- but he’s somehow more aggro when it comes to the reverse. See, my thing is to feel bad and not really confront until Dante notices and makes me tell him what’s wrong. He finds it cute, but assures me he isn’t going anywhere and things get better from there.

   When Dante gets jealous... Well, before all this he was protective, but not overly so. He’d only really get his boxers in a twist if the person wouldn’t take a hint or if he realized it was another demon. Demons always bother him more than the common, not-so-wise human... Especially while I’m wearing the coat he got me.

   However, since my stomach’s been getting bigger, he’s TWICE...no, maybe FOUR TIMES more absolutely batshit than usual. Of course, I also know what happened to his mother, so... I can’t exactly say his over-protectiveness is unwarranted. I understand why completely! Plus, it’s only with strangers; my friends, the other ladies, Vergil, and Nero can be around me just fine. If anything, he calms around their presence, so

   It’s alright.