#ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME HOW AWESOME IS THAT

[haunting-hole]

this is so fucking funny to me bc unlike with her you Could argue that was the reasoning behind mithrun being sent to the canaries: choosing his brother who wasn't very physically strong or well regarded status-wise would probably be seen as insulting to the crown or whatever. mithrun was just mad about it bc despite being the 'perfect' son he still ends up in the losing side of this power dynamic, he's not angry his parents would trade a child for better status he's just angry that the child they traded was Him, despite him playing along by elf society's rules perfectly. but because he measures his own worth by how well he can play that role, him not reaping all the benefits that come with it automatically means he must be inferior somehow. Pattadol on the other hand. im sorry there's no way her parents just didnt pick whatever kid they'd care less about losing sorry pattadol. she was sent to the canaries after the utaya incident where whatever vast amount of elfs died was enough to leave them understaffed for years. there's no way a massacre like this wouldn't be fresh in any parents mind. even if they just couldn't refuse the queens request or something, it still stands that they looked at their kids and went. hm which one of those are we willing to risk getting utaya'd okay pattadol it was nice knowing you. and the only reason this doesn't utterly fuck her up as it should. is that shes genuinely like. nooooo was i a bad daughter :( well i can't think of any flaws that i have actually. am i just too awesome yeah that sounds right and im fine now. insane. entire crisis averted bc pattadol is simply too confident in herself

[rayshippouuchiha]

So, I keep thinking about the Kyouya-nii AU (which is starting to take up residence in my mind), and I keep thinking about two specific things in particular

One - I am unable to think about it without imagining the sunniest, most joyful littol child walking behind his "Awesome Kyouya-nii!" during patrol and thinking (or talking) about how he's the "Coolest brother ever!" while Kyouya has that scowl. Just, the contrast. Scary, and the adorable that's secretly scary

Two - I keep wondering how Kyouya met Izuku, because unless he has some internal feral potential detector (which, I would not put it past him) he probably would have needed to see something that showed off that potential. Like, you know how in the first episode of MHA we see kiddie Izuku getting between those bully brats and the kid they were bullying? I'm wondering if it was something like that.

Also, you have gotten me obsessed with KHR even though I'm very likely never gonna watch or read it

See no this is exactly what I'm going for with this AU.

Hibari sees Izuku stand up to some bullies and is like "nice' and then he sees Izuku spear tackle someone and he's like "Nice" and then the kid gets up all bloody and bruised after getting his ass kicked and just pats himself on the cheeks all "next time I'll go for the knees cause his quirk makes his joints weak" and he's like "Wao" and decides that this small animal is adorable and obviously needs a stronger predator to help it grow into its fangs.

And, well, what better carnivore is there out there than him?

Which of course means that Hibari basically grabs Izuku by the back of his shirt, drags him to ta clearing, and starts educating him in the fine art of ass-kicking. Which then ends up with Izuku crying all over him when Hibari gives him his very own training tonfa and decides that Izuku's obviously far enough along to come with him to hunt down rule breakers on his patrols.

So everyone gets treated to the terrifying sight of Hibari strolling through town with the most adorable little green child trailing after him, spouting praise and just chattering on and on. And there are a few people who are Big Worried about this kid because it's Hibari, ya know?

But then someone sees Hibari beat a thug only halfway down and then step back and nudge the Izuku forward. And before anyone can stop him, because holy shit dude what the fuck that's an entire BABY, Izuku whips out his training tonfa and finishes fucking this thug all the way up.

And Hibari just kind of smiles with his body but not his face, pats the kid on the head 1 time, and then they move on.

[devilsrecreation]

How many TLG Outlander incorrect quotes have I done? Here’s more anyway

Sumu: I know over 200 ways to kill a man

Kuumwa: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face :)

Sumu: …..201

Alternatively

Kenge: I know over 200 ways to kill a man

Sumu: You could glue an open jar of rats to his face and then blowtorch the other half of the jar so the rats have to eat their way out through his face

Kenge: …..201

Cheezi: On the count of three, what's your favorite cake? One, two, three-

Cheezi and Chungu, in unison: Chocolate cake peanut butter frosting with chocolate chunks!

Goigoi: Our turn, Sumu! One, two, three- vanilla!

Sumu, deadpan: I've never had cake, what is cake.

Mzingo: Looking left cause you don’t treat me right

Janja: Looking right because you left

Reirei: Looking up cause you let me down

Kiburi: Looking down cause you fucked up

Jasiri: What is wrong with you guys

Janja: Hah! 69! You know what that means?
Cheezi: What?
Mzingo: That you're a child.
Chungu: HOW'D YOU GUESS MY IQ!?

Sumu: Can I be frank with you guys?

Goigoi: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Chungu: Can I still be Chungu?

Tamka: Shh, let Frank speak.

Kenge: Why are Shupavu and Njano sitting with their backs to each other?

Sumu: They had a fight.

Kenge: Then why are they holding claws?

Sumu: They get sad when they fight.

Janja: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Chungu: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Cheezi: I got distracted about halfway through.

Nne, as Tano nods: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

(Royal Mjuzi au)

Kiburi: Are we really going to let Nduli keep Mwamba?

Neema: We kept Tamka.

Jasiri: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Mzingo: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Kiburi: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Janja: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Reirei: My moral code, is that you?

Jasiri:

Jasiri: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mother left me but do you guys need a hug?

Tamka: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Wakali: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Neema: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Nduli: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Kiburi: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Janja: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Reirei: Janja no.

Kiburi: Mistlefoe.

Reirei: Please stop encouraging him.

Ucheshi: If you had to choose between Makuu and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Kiburi: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Makuu: Kiburi!

Ucheshi: 63 cents.

Kiburi: I'll take the money.

Makuu: KIBURI!!!

Kiburi: I trust Janja.

Reirei: You think he knows what he’s doing?

Kiburi: I wouldn't go that far.

Janja: Don't worry, I got a plan.

Reirei: Alright.

Janja: TraitorSayWhat?

Kiburi: Excuse me?

Janja: What?

Reirei:

Janja:

Janja: No wait-

Goigoi: Reirei, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Reirei: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later

Goigoi: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask one of the kids.

Chungu: What if mayonnaise came in cans?

Cheezi: That would suck cuz you can’t microwave metal

Janja: Good morning to everyone except these two furbrains

Ucheshi: The real treasure was the memories we made along the way.

Makuu: I almost died.

Kiburi: That... was my favorite memory.

Reirei: I dare you to kiss the next person who walks into this room.

Janja: Screw that, I’m not kissing any of you.

*Jasiri walks in*

Janja: Fine, I’ll do it. Rules are rules you know.

Janja: I am so cool. I am an absolute Chad. I am the epitome of coolness and awesomeness—

Jasiri: Hi.

Janja: *melts down in a flustered heap of softness*

Kiburi: I'm not doing too well. 
Pua: What's wrong? 
Kiburi: I have this headache that comes and goes. 
*Makuu enters the room* 
Kiburi: There it is again.

*Kenge and Sumu are planning to break in somewhere*

Sumu: We need to distract the guards.

Kenge: Right.

Sumu: What are we gonna do?

Kenge: I'm going to break their elbows while you poke their eyes.

Sumu:

Kenge:

Sumu: Deal.

Human/Zootopia-esque au: trying to use the family/Kiburi’s computer

Dogo: “Password clue: Favorite child”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, sis. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!

Kijana: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied*

OR

Tamka: “Password clue: Best friend”? Oooh, ah, ouch…sorry, man. This is awkward *types in their name, but gets denied* What?!

Nduli: Really??? *starts dramatically crying tears of joy* This moment is so much bigger than me! I would like to thank my parents and my manager— *gets denied* Aw :(

The Outlanders trying to draw Jasiri:

Janja: I think I made one eye bigger than the other

Mzingo: I was going for a feeling

Reirei, with a perfect drawing: Honestly, I can’t even draw a circle

Kiburi: *shows his picture*

Janja: Okay Kiburi, you just drew yourself

Kiburi: I like me

Jasiri: Dammit, Janja!

Janja: What?! It wasn't me!

Jasiri: Sorry, force of habit.

Dammit, Mzingo!

Mzingo: Not me either.

Jasiri: Oh... Then who set the Outlands on fire?

Njano: *whistles*

Janja: We need to get through this locked door. Reirei, give me your credit card.

Reirei: Here.

Janja, pocketing it: Thanks. Kiburi, kick down the door.

*The group is getting into the car*

Janja: I’m driving.

Cheezi, out of view: Shotgun!

Chungu, turning to face Cheezi: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Cheezi: WOAH-

Cheezi, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

Fuli: What do you think Bunga will do for a distraction?

Kion: He’ll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.

*Explosions and several car alarms go off*

Kion:....Or he could do that.

Goigoi: And now it’s time for... WHAT’S. IN. TAMKA’S MOUTH?

Never try this game. Ever

Tamka: Agahhhagg

Nduli: oh oh oh! It’s those napkins from that one chicken wing place!

Tamka: Uh uh

Chungu: Oh! It’s the entire country of China!

Tamka: *spits the thing out* No! It’s a piece of dental cotton!

Cheezi: From five weeks ago?

Tamka: Uh huh!

Cheezi: And now it’s time for Janja’s poetry beat

Janja: Eh, I don’t wanna

Chungu: But it’s your thing!

Janja: No, it’s not!

Cheezi: Yeah, it is. That’s why it’s called “Janja’s”, emphasis on “Janja’s” poetry beat!

Janja: Why don’t one of you do it this time?

Chungu: You don’t like my poetry!

Janja: Sure, I do! Come on

Chungu: Okay.

I sat down on the ground today

Baobab ball I was to play

But instead of rolling north or south

How’d it end up in my mouth?

Janja: You’re right. That sucked

Chungu: Will Shakespeare my butt

Kiburi: (on one line) Hello?

Tamka (on the other line): Hey, what’s up?

Kiburi: I need a little help, can you come over?

Tamka: I can’t. I’m buying clothes

Kiburi: Alright, well hurry up and come over here

Tamka: I can’t find ‘em...

Kiburi: What do you mean you can’t find them?

Tamka: I can’t find them, there’s only soup

Kiburi: ...What do you mean “There’s only soup”

Tamka: It means there’s only soup

Kiburi:Well, then get out of the soup isle!

Tamka: Okay! You don’t have to shout at me! (walks into another isle) There’s more soup

Kiburi: What do you mean there’s more soup?!

Tamka: It means there’s just more soup

Kiburi: Go into the next isle

Tamka: (goes into the next isle) There’s still soup!

Kiburi: WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?!

Tamka: I’M AT SOUP!

Kiburi: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU’RE “AT SOUP”?!?!

Tamka: I MEAN I’M AT SOUP!

Kiburi: WHAT STORE ARE YOU IN?!

Tamka: I’M AT THE SOUP STORE!!

Kiburi: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!?!?!

Tamka: FUCK YOU!!!!!

Kenge: I’m not worried about silly things like labels. Animals can call me whatever they want. They could even call me little…..

Kenge: NEVER CALL ME LITTLE!!!!!

(Nduli leans in towards a sleeping Tamka)

Nduli: Tamka..Tamka...Tam-zebra.

Tamka: (wakes up) Gimme the leg! I want the leg!

Makuu and Ucheshi: (staring into each other’s eyes)

Kiburi: (rips the leg off of a kill)

Makuu: We’re having a moment

Kiburi: I’m having a snack

Goigoi: The good news is I named my nickel “Phillip!”

Janja: What’s the bad news?

Goigoi: It’s a girl nickel! :D

Janja: YOU BET ME FOR A NICKEL?!

Cheezi: But it was a shiny nickel!

(Hodari saves Njano’s life)

Njano: Bro... 🥺

Hodari: Bro... 🥺

Kenge: Can you guys stop making out and go get the chimps?!

Neema: [Could I give Tamka a -2?]

Tamka: For what?

Neema: [Just for being you]

Jasiri: You assaulted a 94-year old animal!

Kenge: He sassed me

Mzingo: Ooh, you have some pie! Would you mind if I have a piece?

Janja: Uh, sure. (gives Mzingo a piece of pie)

Mzingo: Can you pass the cool hwhip?

Janja: What’d you say?

Mzingo: You can’t have a pie without cool hwhip!

J Cool hwhip?

M: Cool hwhip, yeah

J: You mean cool whip

M: Yeah, cool hwhip

J: Cool whip

M: Cool hwhip

J: Cool WHip

M: Cool hwhip

J: You’re saying it weird! Why’re you putting so much emphasis on the h?

M: What are you talking about? I’m just saying cool hwhip! You put cool hwhip on pie. Pie tastes better with cool hwhip

J: Say “whip”

M: Whip

J: Now say “cool whip”

M: Cool hwhip

J: Cool WHIP

M: Cool hwhip

J: COOL WHIP

M: Cool hwhip

Janja: YOU’RE EATING FUR!

Actor AU: Deleted scene with Scar and Jasiri

Director: Action!

Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?

Jasiri: No…

Scar: Do I look. Stupid. To you?

Jasiri: *starts laughing* I’m sorry 😂😂

(Cut to next take)

Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?

Jasiri: *starts wheezing* I’m sorry! *recomposes herself* I got it. No no, just do it again. I’m fine

(Cut to next take)

Scar: Are you saying I’m stupid?

Jasiri: *pointing* YES! *laughs*

Scar: This is the fifteenth take, I cannot work like this. I will be in my trailer…

Jasiri: I need a break

[datshitrandom]

How was to be in a gay relationship (klaine) on screen?

“It was fucking awesome man. I mean the main thing here, like not because I’m trying to be blasé about the obvious thing in this question because we are saying that this is a gay relationship, nowadays, we just call it a relationship on tv, but to contextualize it, a gay relationship on mainstream Fox Network, that’s a pretty cool thing to be a part of. I often equate my relationship to that whole experience to Slumdog Millionaire which is, if you are familiar with Slumdog Millionaire is a kid that gets ask a bunch of questions and he just so happens to have the experience to answer this very specific things, now being cisgender straight kid you go 'oh oh what? are you going to allow this guy to talk gay shit?', I’ve been so culturally queer my whole life, not because I’m trying you know, actually, I was gonna say not because I’m trying to be cool but I’m gonna erase that, is because I am trying to be cool. All the sh— in my life that I have tried to emulate, learn from and be inspired by are one hundred percent queer as f—. It was in queer communities that I’ve found people that I idolize, that I want to be, to learn something from. And I’d say that’s a gross generalization, that’s a lot of things and a lot of people. But I grew up in San Francisco in the ’90s. I watched men die. There was an awareness of the gay experience that was not a foreign concept to me. So, it was a narrative that I cared deeply about. I wasn’t like a f— saint or like 'I’m the man for the job', they hired me and they said, 'You’re the guy,' and I said, 'Okay, I’m the guy I will do my best, I will do my best to talk about it in the way I believe and a way that I’m passionate about'. So in many ways I’m glad that it was me because it was a thing that I really like showing up for and it meant a great deal to me that it meant a great deal to other people. Because when people say they were affected by that show or that relationship, it’s not because of me, it’s because of that relationship on a TV and the risks that people took to put that on TV and most important of all it took the people watching it to have the "aptitude" for seeing beyond what was maybe given to them in other avenues of culture. People of all ages, all spectrums of awareness say, 'I didn’t grow up with a show like that and it was a really meaningful thing for me to see,’ and I go ‘I didn’t grow up with a show like that’ and that would’ve been very meaningful for me too, you know?, regardless of the fact that I’m a straight kid. That has value. For anyone who’s been an underdog, we all know, in any shape or form — sexual, religious, biological, whatever — it has value because there’s going to be a lot of people who see that and go, 'Okay, I can now understand this in a context that maybe I wasn’t able to before'. So short story long, what was it like? It was a fucking privilege and I love talking about it and I’m so grateful I got to do it." - Darren Criss at the Chicago Comic & Entertainment Expo Q&A | April 27th, 2024 

[moonspirit]

what would the alliance be doing if they hadn’t entered politics? like careers and hobbies and stuff like that

Hi again!

Oh welp tho, I haven't thought too much about this xD

But okay let's see. If we go off the last headcanons, then maybe...

Armin would definitely enjoy sailing the seas. Learning, discovering, exploring. He'd understand people and bring new understanding to them too. Considering his never ending curiosity and hunger for learning new things, it'd be nice for him to go places, seeing it all until his eyes are full to the brim with sparks.

Annie, uh... Listen, not that I think she's not going to be doing anything on her own, but I think she'll just rest for a good long while xD She was exhausted and fed up well before the end of the Rumbling, just give her a nice bed, some furballs, plenty of cuddling opportunities and leave her alone.

Tho I do see her travelling with Armin and getting the chance to experience the world and all the wonderful things in it in a way she was never able to in her life before.

Also maybe later on she ends up starting a martial arts school for small kids because they think she's awesome and won't stop asking her to teach them.

Pieck? I honestly think she's going to be doing it all. The way I often characterize Pieck, she's eccentric and carefree on the outside for the most part. Perhaps today she's going to star as the lead actress in a silent movie, and tomorrow she's going to be on that high stakes bake-off for the neighbourhood. You cannot tell me she's not doing 826353 things at once and getting great sleep and keeping her head witty and flirty and sharp all at the same time. She's Pieck. She's gonna be living the best life.

Jean - oh boi. Okay. He's gonna do fancy things like wine and dine with important people, and then come home and listen to music and contemplate the purpose of life and existence as his very expensive small dog refuses his affections.

He will then write a haiku and send it to Armin who will not understand a single fucking word of his nonsense.

Reiner - He's good at plumbing. And electricity. And leaky roofs. Plus firewood chopping and kitchen fires and other daily accidents that need fixing. Don't ask me why, he's just a great handyman. Useful big brother. He's very happy like that.

Connie - This boy is gonna be running a kitchen! A restaurant! And he's gonna be fucking great at it! It started out as a small venture, just something to keep him busy and make ends meet but then wooaahh oh waaaa there's a lot of customers?! They're all there to hear him singing as he cooks? They love the food?! He's a boss now?! But he still serves customers because he's a nice boy like that.

Mikasa Ackerman - Swimming teacher. Masterclass on how to cross oceans carrying a head or two as baggage.

I'm going to hell for this.

Levi Ackerman - The man has a tea shop. What the fuck more do you want? Tch.

Falco and Gabi - They're too young to be doing any one thing - let them live and plant trees and run around and grow up nicely.

[landoffreaksandfrogs]

the sylph of light has been waiting a very very long time to meet you.

[magentagalaxies]

.

[weaponsdrawn]

when i was like 7 i fell in love with this autistic boy who loves dragons and pokémon and always wore the same blue v neck shirt and elastic jeans fit. like he had multiples of each item but it was his main character fit yfeel. then i moved away and we lost touch and i haven’t even seriously crushed on anyone since then BUT when i started fixating in ttcc i realized i had fallen in love with high roller in a sort of way and i find it funny. there’s no point to this story i just find it amusing lawl

i think the conclusion here is that you love fellas with a sparkly autism swagger I'm talking sparkly autism not literal sparkles but it's like oh fuck yeah ✨Autism✨

[astolentoetag]

Scrolling through Facebook memories and find one from '06 about asking people what they remember about me. Most commenters I remembered who they are but one I do not. Nor do I know if I met them in highschool or college. Their comment was just about how I confused the English teacher with weird questions. That unfortunately does not narrow it down. That does not narrow it down at all.

To further muddle things they seemed to either already have or be in the process of transitioning and I can't tell which direction because they're pretty androgynous. I have no clue who this person is and I feel exceptionally guilty for forgetting someone after asking them what they remembered about me even if it's nearly two decades later.

Brains suck. I want a hard drive with 8k uhd timestamped recordings in chronically order. And spark notes for every month.

[scrunchie-face]

Doesn’t all this “traditional” motherhood hype ever get old? Doesn’t it ever start to ring hollow? Doesn’t the constant stream of “you are doing the MOST IMPORTANT THING EVER by being a mom” homilies and meditations start to reek of just another industry that thrives on your isolation, insecurity, and loss of identity?

[wabbitears]

feddy movie

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

what have they done to the book

[gossip-girl-of-middleearth]

OKAYYYYY SO, y’all remember a few days back I was complaining about that large film crew coming to our town and filming for three months and you literally couldn’t step outside without feeling like Brendan Fraser on the set of Looney Tunes: Back In Action!

Well, today I was doing my usual bit at my job (kinda a stand up comedian on a microphone to a hundred people on a steam train every day? Eh. Idk it’s a niche role) and there’s these interesting passengers on board just totally engaging with me and making the day all the more fun

WELLLLL I got to talking to one of the guys and he’s like, “Yeah, we’re the crew of the film set. Just coming out to feel the vibes of the area through the train.”

And I was like oh fuck I just shamed these guys online a few days ago lmao gotta backtrack now and be nice since they’re audience members/passengers

Well well well, I actually have a blast with them all day, got a standing ovation all that jazz, and at the end they all hugged me and said my vibe was awesome and asked if I’d be keen to come work on set for a few weeks

Naturally my bard senses tingled and I decided that sounded awesome so I was like “HELL YEAH!” so I gave them my number and I guess I work for a tv show now too

[dancing-with-stars]

my mom is literally yelling at me bc i “study too much” and she says that’s selfish and i shud be doing other things and spending time w my family. like. as if everytime i spend time w my family i don’t just end up hating myself more.

[crystalis]

im sorry for being annoying about pokemon larely

[killjpeg-reblogs]

I see transformers devastation is a hit. I will have to start playing it soon I've always wanted to engage in transformers in some way <3 thank u for sharing yr experience w/ the game so far rob I'd die for you

OFC I'll say for more of an interesting experience to go w a hard mode amd fairly the first chapter is gonna drag for SO long cuz its all the same but the second chapter was a little more interesting. It seems to have a huge bank of different moves so have fun!