#AU: a desire demon OC -> a spirit OC + Justice gets a friend

[meowmeowmage]

Imagine being a demon unsuccessfully trying your best to trick a mortal into possession and then you see a mage possessed by a benevolent spirit walking around like.. benevolent spirits don't even want to posses mortals the way demons do, and yet some rando spirit achieved your goal for which you've been busting your ass for years

[usagichronicles]

What some of your best memories in the RPC?

Hmm... I’ll put this under a read more, since I’m in a self reflective and stream of consciousness mood. So this will be entirely unedited, and way too long.

I think some of the early happiness was the reception I got when I first started, about four years and ten months ago. People were excited to RP with me, glad I had decided to finally get involved.

At first I intended only for Cafe, and I put in a ton of work to get her set up. But by the end of my time writing KanColle, I had a lot of shipgirl OCs, and I mean a lot -- Trench Cafe, Spirit of Fire, Ohio, Atlantic Conveyor, Pilar, Houston, Langley, Gangut, Manila, New Zealand, Georgios Averof, Neptune, Leander, Achilles, Kiwi, Tui, Moa, Lanikai, Kirkwall, Jewel of Windsor, Emma Williams, Aotearoa, Helle.

A lot of the best early memories come from Cafe and her storyline. And I must admit, out of the above 24 characters? Cafe, Spirit of Fire, Manila, Kirkwall, Emma Williams, New Zealand, and Aotearoa got a lot of development. But satisfaction in how their characters developed? Only in Cafe, Emma Williams, and Aotearoa.

Cafe and Manila were the only characters who got endings. They were both happy endings. But only Cafe got one I am happy with. 

That being said... I really enjoyed writing HMS New Zealand. I think she was one of my first ‘complex’ personalities, with a storyline that I really tried to plan a bit. It didn’t work amazingly, there was a lot that got derailed, but I enjoyed her.

Aotearoa is a happy story of missed chances. Her personality wasn’t quite so complex, but I thought enough of her, I converted her into a different format and wrote a CYOA novella, rewriting an RP arc that didn’t go the way I wanted it.

There is one other... But I’ll bring that up later.

Moving on from KanColle...

I did a lot of faffing about with Strike Witches. I had four characters. Adeline Kain, Rebecca Moore, Tui Gray, and Helen Clapham. One of those names might be familiar. This... is where Helen Clapham originated. Strike Witches being Strike Witches, there was no active RPC for the setting, and I don’t blame anyone for that. I convinced three others to write it, among them Kako, and we did a brief thing together. 

I stuck with it longer than the rest; I still had my SW characters kicking about by the time I shut down the old blog, and elected not to bring them to this one.

Rebecca Moore was a favourite of mine in that time. It helped, however, that I wrote her with Kako. She had a more sophisticated story than the rest, and on top of that, she had a storyline. She showed up before, she helped Kako’s character, she helped another person’s character who affected Kako’s character -- and though her story ended before I really wanted it to, in a way she also got a happy ending. Still fighting the war, even after she was ordered to go home, helped by Keiko. Pulling her weight.

I’ll skip my attempts at Halo. They had some fun times, but not enough to really bring up. My attempt at Girls Frontline was stillborn. 

Strike Witches is where Helen Clapham got her start (originally with UMP40 as her FC). The Agency version of her started off as an AU, of Helen Clapham, the ex-witch bomber pilot. An AU where she never became a bomber pilot, and fell into another world. Three years later, Helen Clapham the bomber pilot no longer exists.

Agent Helen does, and she’s been a bundle of happy memories. I’m genuinely proud of how she’s developed over time. She’s the muse I’ve stuck with the most, the one who’s seen the most, who’s had the longest storyline. One that sees little sign of ending. Through thick and thin, she’s brought me to tears, she’s brought me to hugging my pillow and giggling to myself. Always with the satisfaction and cheer of writing a character I really, really enjoy. Those tears were not of frustration, and though they were shed in reaction to parts of her storyline that sadden me, they aren’t tears shed because I don’t like it. So I think she’s a big one there.

Victoria Collet deserves a spot here, but she should really be above with KanColle. She got her start back then, after all. She’s ‘Jewel of Windsor’ in the list. She is the only character from the KanColle blog, who survived the transition to other areas of writing. I think she was one of the characters I absolutely loved writing, even back then. Her origin story comes from H.G. Wells’ War of the Worlds, which is a semi-annual obsession of mine. Though that origin no longer exists, her current form is quite lovely. I always have a goofy smile on my face when I think of her, and her travels with Maria and Kazuko. She’s just a good bisexual girl who’s massively confused by her friends, a lesbian who commonly crossdresses as a man, and a boy who lives as a girl. 

Fubuki has been a story of indulging myself in a guilty pleasure, and genuinely enjoying writing her own stories. A kitsune, a samurai kitsune, an Oda samurai kitsune, a shrine maiden samurai kitsune, it’s indulging in a lot of stuff I like but hadn’t wanted to write before her, due to some embarrassment over the subjects. But encouragement from friends, particularly Kako, saw Fubuki come to be -- and I’ve enjoyed much of her.

Tikva got off to a rocky start. I originally conceived of her as a way to keep writing Cafe, during a moment of weakness where I was lamenting how some things had gone. She was going to be a carbon copy, Cafe’s AI turned human. But the RP partner I was going to write that with stopped writing, and honestly, in Tikva’s case it was likely for the best. 

Tikva’s story is far different to what the original thing was going to be. Who Tikva is now, is very different from who Cafe was, and she’s far better off for it. I am extremely grateful to Kako for helping me with everything with Tikva.

Okoori was my first foray into Touhou RP, and Kako helped immensely in her creation as well. She’s a bit of another self-indulgence. A woman who lives to make people happy, someone who wears elegant cloting, a bit of exposed skin, a youkai concept (yuki-onna) I really like. Writing her helped me get confident enough to adopt Aya as a canon muse, and have Fubuki chase a demon into a magical land.

Grani. Grani Grani Grani. I will be the first to admit, I’ve latched on to her very, very hard. I’ve made tons of headcanons, spend tons of time thinking about her, discussing her, looking at art of her. Thinking of her makes me smile, and writing her doesn’t often cause me to pause and have to think. I can fall into her mindset rather easily. 

Some people say I’m a lot like Grani myself; I’m short, excitable and generally cheerful, I have a strong sense of justice and desire to help others. My only worry sometimes is that my own sense of self might bleed into Grani, but all of what we write has something of ourselves in them. I try not to worry too much. 

There’s far more I could say. 

I could go through each and every single one of my current muses, and I could likely find something good to say about them -- even Chloe, who I haven’t written in a long time. I am very, very happy with my characters. 

Roleplaying is my main hobby, and has been for more than two years now. It’s a passion that I don’t want to lose anytime soon. I put a lot of effort into it, because I love writing with everyone, and I love it when a thread goes well.

So I guess I can say that, many of my recent RPC memories have been happy memories.

It’s likely best if I end it there, rather than continuing. After all, this reply is up to 1,400+ words.

[theharellan]

RP POSITIVITY MEME

DAY 14: FREE DAY!

so this whole week i’ve kept myself from mentioning joly when possible. i promo joly on my dash every day. my very existence is a joly promo. it was mostly a way to make sure that i gave other people attention, and also b/c i saw the last day was a free day and wanted to use it to write about how much i love joly’s characters.

if it weren’t for joly i doubt i’d still be here. that’s not to say that i didn’t love rping solas beyond what i have with joly, but after my hiatus it was the desire to rp with joly again that really brought me back. and i’m so thankful for that b/c it’s allowed me to meet ppl like merc and lisa and kae, ppl who either weren’t around or i didn’t know before. also just when i was having a rough time last year and whenever i’ve had a rough time since then joly’s been there for me. they’re a really special person, who deserves even more kind words written about them than their characters do. but if i keep going i’ll probably make myself cry.

suffice to say if you like my blog, then you have joly to thank. not just for me being here, but how their ocs have shaped my solas. i cannot recommend joly’s blogs enough. they don’t have as much time as they did to write, but it doesn’t make them any less dedicated to their characters as someone who posts a dozen things a day.

before i get to their actual blogs, i want to talk about the npcs or characters that no longer have rp blogs.

first, deshanna. i’ve loved how they made a mother who is flawed and sympathetic, and who i don’t feel 100% good about solas disliking her in modern. it’s my secret desire to be able to rp in a thread where she’s npc’d one day, either in modern or batb. next, layne. what a piece of shit. i don’t know TOO much about layne, and i’m in this position where i want to know more but also i dread it. hoping one day solas and mio can shank him. and then, june. june had a blog (and may again one day??) and he was a fuckin hermit mamma’s boy that was too boring for fen to want to have anything to do with. joly’s recently been toying with some ideas for his character that i think only strengthen what they have, and i’m excited.

@ancientimpudence -

mio is petty. mio is mean. mio is stand-offish. mio is loyal. mio is driven. mio is honest. i love mio.

if you want a character who is flawed and not always nice, you’ll love mio. they’re a really good example of how you can make a character not always be a very pleasant person, but still get plenty of rp mileage off of them and develop meaningful relationships. how two characters’ relationship can somehow be incredibly deep and yet broken. i love what joly and i have built for mio and solas, two ancient friends who aren’t always the best friends.

i could really talk about about their relationship. solas goes through a period where he becomes very empathetic and in-tune with the problems of everyone around him, but mio’s somehow always escape him. i love the gap, and i love how it’s both not his fault b/c mio hides how they feel, but also he needs to do better by them. i love how mio wants what’s best for solas and their cause, while simultaneously suggesting things that actually wouldn’t be best for solas, because mio isn’t omnipotent and is also, to an extent, still trying to keep solas as he was.

i love how mio doesn’t like ian but is still there to help him. i love how mio expresses themself in ways not everyone understands. i love how modern mio has purse dogs and brings vher food b/c they spent all weekend playing the sims.

and vher / mio?? one of those ships that just kinda happened. one of the best things about talking to joly about characters is how often two just kinda cling to one another. vher is aro and can’t return the romantic feelings mio feels for them (and open enough to be accepting when mio finds romantic love elsewhere) but they still care for mio so much. everything about mio that i listed above, even the petty and vain stuff, vher loves. also sometims vher decides they wanna kiss mio and i can only imagine what it does to the poor child.

basically, what i’m getting at here is, joly lets mio be flawed but also shows how those flaws can still lead to positive interactions. joly lets mio be unadmirable at times, but still likeable and lovable. joly introduced some extra diversity in background to the rebellion and i’m eternally thankful tbh.

@betterthanmaps​ -

harding is one of those characters everyone adores, and so it makes sense that joly, one of the most adorable ppl on the planet, chose to write her. i love seeing characters with stable and normal backstories. harding is just such a steady influence, and i’ve loved seeing her contrasted with the sad backstories most canons and ocs possess. which i wanna be clear isn’t a criticism of sad backstories! i merely mean that it’s also nice seeing variety. not everyone has had a past that has made them cruel or kind, some people were raised by caring parents and lived simple lives until they heard the call to adventure. those people are just as interesting and worthy of telling stories about.

joly’s harding reminds me somewhat of tolkien’s hobbits, i suppose, now that i’m writing this out. and they’re some of my fave characters in literature. only w/ harding we also get fun dragon age dwarfy lore-- someone who is as un-dwarfy as varric but not quite so loud about it and we get actual queer representation.

@spiritualjourneys​ - 

i adore spirits? i do not adore how the fandom treats spirits. things like treating human cole as superior to spirit cole, rather than a person making different choices, both paths making them happy, even if one is for reasons we can’t all understand. pinning everything wrong with anders in da2 on justice. assuming lord woolsey, an innocent spirit-ram who has done nothing but help, has always been a rage demon (even tho the ways in which he has been shown to help the family that adopted him aren’t typical rage-related qualities) but ANYWAY.

the point is, spirits are given something of a raw deal by the fandom and are almost always judged by their ability to conform to human standards. joly’s spirit multi is fuckin fantastic and making spirits different and complex and alien, while also familiar and very much people rather than set pieces in the stories of others. though all of them started out as npcs created by either joly (love, sincerity), myself (joy), or bioware (wisdom) it took joly no time at all to establish their stories. love and joy especially...

what i appreciate about love is the path they took to get where they are. how they weren’t always love, how they focus upon a specific kind of love, how they can’t always see when love is best working past. though i’ve only just started rping peace, i’m in love (get it) with the dynamic the two of them have formed. how they balance one another out and keep one another from straying too far into their own interests, and thereby corrupting themselves. it’s a dynamic that i wasn’t expecting at all when i made peace as an au to my zenyatta blog, but i think that’s the amazing thing about writing with joly. something falls into place and then it grabs you and the idea just won’t let go.

and as for joy, it’s probably the least developed of the spirits, having no form that’s recognisably alive nevermind a person. but it demonstrates well, i think, how “humanity” in elvhenan wasn’t defined by shape. when solas says he dislikes when people see him as just a pair of pointed ears, and that he doesn’t necessarily identify much with modern elves, the idea is expressing multiple things. one of them, i think, is that being an elf sometimes meant being a physical body with pointed ears, but sometimes you could just be bubbles and you’d still be considered a valid member of elvhen society. joy doesn’t exist as we do. joy forgets, joy prefers to never touch the earth, and it exists in a state of cycles to keep itself from becoming something like despair. joly depicts the beauty and the drawbacks of existing in this state and i’m just??? so glad they decided to write joy. b/c they do it more justice than i ever could.

@paragoninexile -

tam’s new blog isn’t fully set up but i wanna talk about her anyway. tam is a good hero and a good person, and in many ways sort of made to be a hero. when i found out about tam i was rly excited simply b/c she was very much like my warden, only with so much more care and thought put into her that now she’s basically replaced my canon warden in my heart.

i think my favourite thing about tam is how much of a front she puts up for everyone. crowning bhelen, even if it meant the death of another father figure. recruiting loghain, even if it meant losing her friend or possibly lover. it shows that even neutral good heroes still have to make decisions that could be considered ruthlessly practical. bhelen is not necessarily the better choice morally, especially not as an aeducan (especially especially not as an aeducan who doesn’t kill trian). i imagine tam knows that crowning him will have dire consequences not just for harrowmont, but the entire harrowmont line. she does it anyway, not because she wants to, but because for orzammar it’s the best choice.

i’ve loved finally having a chance to write one of my fave dragon age ships: gorim/aeducan. i have a weakness for ships who have been together since they were only young, and the progression they take in the au is so good?? being able to find freedom for their love in a life that is literally killing tamar, and the reason they only get 12 or so happy years together rather than 50. but tam is so good that i’m honestly proud to be able to give her those twelve years with gorim. one day i’m gonna make joly hurt w/ thoughts about the kid gorim adopts after tam dies and who he tells them all about. 8)

@cadashsmash -

cadri i think was the first joly character i interacted with, though i believe i remember ian from way way back when i tried rping merrill and couldn’t quite get a foothold like i did with solas and thora.

i’m in love with dwarves u all should know this, so ofc i’m in love with cadri. i love how rough around the edges she is, how she tries to do the right thing, and how doing so can lead to some messed up shit like killing abelas. the work joly’s done with reaver lore is perfect, working with how dirty and raw the specialisation is without making it too hardcore for an inquisitor to ever hope to specialise in it (stop assuming all reavers are cannibals fandom smh). one of my fave threads on thora continues to be the post-battle thread where both are recovering from the drawbacks of their own specialisations and clash because of them. it’s just a really unique idea that is what makes writing with joly so... rounded? like i’m never just writing one thing with joly. they push me as a writer in the best possible way.

overall cadri is just a rly excellent character who, like tam and harding, do credit to dwarves that the series doesn’t always. i’ve loved exploring how differently her and thora react to their position in life, i’ve loved seeing cadri’s anger or indifference towards dwarven society. it’s so valid and realistic and good. i’ve loved exploring the specific ways in which she bucks the presumptions solas has about dwarves, how even in universes where she’s not inquisitor her individuality is still nothing he expects from her kind and how she changes him anyway. i also will always be fond of this being their friendship song.

cadri: hey solas, what d’you call a flower before it opens? solas: a bud. cadri: I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BUD. solas: UGHH.

@dalishfreckles -

it’s really hard to not write a post just about ian, honestly. all of joly’s characters are special to me, but i won’t deny ian is my favourite and has a very important place in my heart. if i were to truthfully answer those top 5 fave characters questions, ian would be on there no question.

as someone who goes through some of the same struggles as ian, he’s inspirational. seeing him struggle to keep surviving, to keep loving, to keep helping even when everything inside him is screaming to stop. i love seeing him make mistakes, honest ones or ones born of anxiety. b/c anxiety is more than just hating yourself or having trouble talking to people, although that is very real. sometimes anxiety can cause you to project some really terrible things onto people, things that aren’t really fair to them.

when i see ian doing things like... projecting his own feelings of worthlessness onto solas, assuming he must think the same rather than giving solas a chance to explain? it’s realistic, and it’s not good. it’s trying to pull people into the same destructive game you do to yourself. it’s also realistic, esp since in the thread i’m referring to solas fucked up and has shit to apologise for. idk, it’s just really comforting to see ian pull the same shit that i do, but knowing he’s still a good person and that i love him is an act of self love.

ian’s an important character for so many reasons, that i could probably write a 20 page thesis on him and his development / how much he means to me. i’m proud of him so much. i’m proud when he finds the strength to tease solas, i’m proud when he stands up for himself, even when he’s standing up against the people he loves. especially when, tbh. how as he grows he can see inara’s faults but doesn’t hate her for them, and tries to help her, when he’s under no obligation to. how he still tries to connect with solas after solas coldly brushes him off the first time ian admonishes him. and i love how joly shows it’s not easy. none of it is. and that ian has to keep choosing to be good, it makes everything he does that much more meaningful.

finally, ian isn’t a hero, necessarily. he’s not the sort of person people tell stories about, which is one reason i love the solas/ian pairing so much. it’s really all about the person for solas, and ian is just so much about what solas loves about people. it’s not always about battles and heroes, sometimes it’s just about a person who has the patience and love in them to make a tree grow in the middle of a desert alienage. sometimes the most wonderful things about people are the little, radical things they do for themselves and those they love rather than how they change the world.

this has gotten to be very long, and probably rambling, but to be fair to me this is like two weeks of joly-positivity i’ve been holding in.

i’ll probably be doing one more free day tomorrow, even if today is the last day, just to do a v general positive post for those i follow. but i wanted to take at least one day to credit the person who has inspired me with their words and characters. like. this was just their characters? i didn’t even get a chance to go into the ways joly’s prose shines, how it’s descriptive and yet never difficult to comprehend. how many different types of plots they’re here for.

but to make a long story short, joly is an incredibly talented writer. i’ve said this before, but i can look back on things i’ve written years ago with joly and still like what i wrote (as well as what they wrote but that should go w/o saying), which is a rare feeling, simply b/c joly lets me access the best writer in me. we often here in the rpc use “muse” as a shorthand for “character we write that inspires us” and i’ve found it a difficult word to rly use-- simply b/c joly and their characters are as much my muses as my own characters. at least in the sense that thinking about them inspires me to write.

tl;dr- pls follow and write with joly. b/c the only thing i love as much as writing with joly is reading what they write with other people.

[meowmeowmage]

(set in this AU in which a demon of Desire becomes a spirit fo Purpose)

When he was still Desire he had spent years trying to possess a mage. It was ironic that he got to do that only once he become Purpose. And he did not do it out of selfish desire, but out of desire to help.

It was fortunate that he had talked to Hawke on multiple occasions before, in the human's dreams after they had met in the Fade during his rescue of the mage boy Feynriel. Else, Hawke might have not accepted his help, despite his mortal wound and despite knowing that Anders would not have been able to heal him. Not when the qunari would've attacked if he had tried. But a blade in his guts and the anguished cry of his lover, who he would've left alone and with the misplaced guilt of his death over his conscience for life, were enough for Hawke to consider and accept Purpose's proposition quite swiftly.

As Justice had told Purpose, the joining left them disoriented at first. But it also granted him and Hawke a sizeable boost in power, both magical and physical. Hawke, however, was too weak already to make use of it, so it was up to Purpose to keep them alive.

The fire spell that shot from his fingertips was so intense that it burned and charred the Arishok down to the bone, the smell of burning flesh filled the air, and the sound of a body hitting the ground was deafening in the silence of breaths being held.

It was strange, being in the mortal world. And this first experience was too much. The smell, the stifling air, the unpleasant tingling in his fingertips, and the wet blood on his hands. The excruciating pain in his gut. He had forgotten about that. Looking down he saw the wound, wide and terrible. But Anders was already running towards them, hands alight with healing magic. He would take care of them, so Purpose retreated, and their body slumped to the floor.

[meowmeowmage]

(set in this AU in which a Desire demon turned into a spirit of Purpose thanks to Justice)

Purpose: Tell me more about your possession of Anders?

Justice: I already told you of the reasons for our joining.

Purpose: Yes, but tell me how it happened.

Justice, suspicious: Are you going back to your wicked demon ways?

Purpose, amused: You have so little faith in me, Jus. But no, I'm not going back. I'm not covering my chest either tho, I don't care that you say mages would confuse me for a demon less. So, tell me, pretty please with a cherry in top.

Justice: Anders and I had spoken about joining for a time before it happened. And it did not happen like we planned. But we were attacked, Anders was mortally wounded, and I could not let him die like that, at the hands of treacherous templars!

Purpose: So you did it to help him?

Justice: Yes. But also so we could bring justice to mages. I wonder... whether my desire to fulfill my purpose and that having played a role in my decision to possess him, makes me selfish. More like a demon, like Anders seems to think I have turned into.

Purpose: *snorts* I'm sorry *laughs* but I've seen plenty of demons. And I've been one too. So trust me when I tell you that your definitely aren't one. Not sure why your Anders thinks that tho. Then again, some of the mages I've talked to seem deeply indoctrinated. Perhaps some of the Circle's "teachings" had stuck a bit too well for him?

Justice: Perhaps. He fears when I take over. I only do it to protect him but I cannot let him know that. He blocks our link and I do not wish to push him.

Purpose: So intent matters? When it comes to possession, I mean. Demons want to take, spirits want to help, right? Do you know of other such cases of spirits possessing mages?

Justice: The Warden-Commander had spoken of a mage companion who was saved by a spirit of Faith, again through the process of joining.

Purpose, humming: Interesting.

[meowmeowmage]

Hawke and Purpose's first interaction after meeting in the Fade during Feynriel's rescue mission was of Purpose crashing one of Hawke's many and very steamy dreams about Anders and giving unsolicited advices lmao

(more of this AU in which a demon of Desire becomes a spirit fo Purpose)

[meowmeowmage]

Dreams

(set in this AU in which a Desire demon turns into a spirit of Purpose)

The first time that Hawke got an explicit dream about Justice, he was surprised. Not that he was particularly against the idea, it was just that it wasn't something he had thought about before and therefore expected to dream about. But he didn't give it much thought past that. Having all sorts of dreams wasn't exactly a novelty for a mage.

But the explicit dreams continued for days. And what really made Hawke suspicious was that they went hand in hand with romantic dreams as well, all having Justice as the star of the show, so to speak. Having weird wet dreams? That could've been Hawke. Having romantic dreams about someone else when the only person he could think about for years had been Anders? That was definitely not Hawke.

"Purpose, I have a question for you," he said.

"I can't help you cheat at Wicked Grace," Purpose said, "You just have to accept that you suck at it."

"That's not it! It's about the dreams I've been having lately..."

He felt Purpose immediately bundle tighter in his mind. He was definitely poking in the right place then.

"What about them?" Purpose asked, feigning ignorance.

"Is it possible that your thoughts have been leaking into my dreams?"

Waves of anxiety were coming off of Purpose and that was all the proof Hawke needed. He wasn't sure why him knowing upset the spirit so much though.

"Hey, relax, I'm not mad or whatever else you fear!"

He felt Purpose relax a bit, but the whirlwind of emotions was still quite noticeable.

"I'm sorry, Garrett, I didn't know this could happen."

"It's fine, as you said - you didn't know. Sooo... you and Justice?"

"It's not like that! We were never... together," Purpose said morosely.

His previous conversation with Purpose sprang to Hawke's mind. Purpose couldn't even talk to Justice anymore, now that they were both possessing mortals. For Purpose it was more than missing a friend, and Hawke felt so sad for the spirit.

"And now you can't be, either," Hawke concluded, "Anders doesn't like it when Justice takes control."

"He might if you spoke to him about the issue and make him see the truth!" Purpose said forcefully, before shrinking back again. "But even if you do, I doubt Justice would be interested. It's more likely he'd see my... desires as demonic, and a proof of me slipping back to my past self. And this is the last thing I want, so I'd rather keep them to myself."

"Oh, Purpose..."

"I don't want to talk about it anymore. And I'll try not to let my thoughts bleed into your dreams."

[meowmeowmage]

A few weeks after Hawke and Purpose join

(set in this AU in which a Desire demon turns into a spirit of Purpose)

Purpose: Why don't you tell Anders that Justice is not a demon? And that he's subconsciously blocking him and that's why they can't communicate like us? Anders is tortured by the guilt of corrupting his friend but it didn't happen. So why do you keep silent about it?!?

Hawke: Look, it's... complicated.

Purpose: It's really not. So tell me the truth. I don't want to delve into your mind without permission but you're being a stubborn ass about this.

Hawke: *sigh* I tried, ok? I tried to tell him after I first met Justice in the Fade when we were there for Feynriel. He didn't really believe me and then got upset that we were talking about it, I think.

Purpose: So? You need to find out why he doesn't believe you. Get to the bottom of it! Help him! I sense you want to.

Hawke: Yes, in theory it's all good and well, but he got upset, Purpose! What if I keep pushing and he... what if he gets too upset and... leaves...

Purpose: He wouldn't. Your abandonment issues stops you from improving you lover's life as well as yours.

Hawke: How very selfish of me, huh..

Purpose: Well, you said it, not me. But I've seen selfish people. So so many of them. Selfish, cruel, greedy, all sorts. And you're nothing like them, trust me. You just want to hold onto your last piece of love and you're too afraid you might lose it. But that still doesn't mean you should keep silent about the issue! Anders won't leave you, I'm 100% sure about that, so just do it!

Hawke: You know, I'm starting to think you have an ulterior motive.

Purpose: *exaggerated gasp* I don't! I like Anders and don't want him suffering needlessly just because you can't man up!

Hawke: Riiight, riiight. Now tell me the whole truth. I can sense your feelings as well, you know. *extremely smug*

Purpose: *petulently* I don't like that this connection goes both ways... Fine! I miss Justice, ok?! Now that we're both possessing mortals we can't talk in the Fade anymore. He's my friend and I miss him. He probably doesn't miss me nearly as much, or maybe not at all, but he considers Anders his friend and I think he deserves to be able to talk to him, instead of being considered a demon!

Hawke: Oh wow, I don't know how you managed to sound breathless without a body but good job. You know, I thought manipulation was the way of demons. *teasing* Showing your old colours much?

Purpose: Yes, yes, laugh about it. *rolls eyes* Just talk to Anders. And I don't appreciate you making fun of my positive change so I'm giving you a headache for the rest of the day <3

Hawke: Ah, fuck..

[meowmeowmage]

Listen, I am so overly invested in your Purpose AU. 😂 I want to know in the direct aftermath is Hawke able to hide it, does Anders recognize what's happened, but no one else does? Is he NOT able to hide it?

ALSO, what kind of traits in Hawke would be amplified by Purpose!

I could apologise for dragging you with me into the AU hole but I'm happy to see you here, so I won't haha

Now to answer:

Anders definitely realizes what happened! I still haven't decided whether others (and how many others) should realize it as well bc all options are potentially yummy!!

If everyone knows - then Kirkwall's champion is not only a mage, but an abomination as well, and oh boy would that be hilarious!

On the other hand - if only Anders knows, it means Hawke would have to hide it. But he doesn't do it very well bc now he gets on the templars' supporting companions' throats even harder than before when they mention abominations and nobody knows why lmao but it's very suspicious and potentially could blow in his face

If the templars know bc some saw the joining during the fight, but the nobles don't realizes what happened - the templars would be screeching their throats out that the champion is an abomination while the rest of Kirkwall ignores them and think it's some sort of trick Meredith is using to ruin Hawke's reputation lmao

If only Anders and companions know - then Hawke is used to them knowing so he forgets to hide when others are concerned and Anders + companions have to think fast on the spot to explain stuff Hawke says or does that definitely look and sound very suspiciously abomination-y lmao

Just,,, so many possibilities!! But I think in the direct aftermath, when Hawke wakes up, he absolutely can't hide it, or rather - doesn't even bother to do it bc he's alone with Anders and has so much to share with him. But after that - I imagine Purpose while demanding, wouldn't be as demanding as Justice, so less opportunities for slipping up thanks to that. But on the other hand I hc that Purpose and Hawke talk way more to each other bc Hawke isn't blocking their link like Anders subconsciously does to his and Justice's. So Hawke zoning out and having one-sided conversation might be a glaring give away lmao

As for what traits in Hawke does Purpose amplify:

1) his need to protect his family - Sadly only Carver's left at this stage from his close family, and he's with the wardens so not much opportunity for Hawke to do any protecting. And ofc Anders who has been upgraded to "family" status and now has to deal with very protective Hawke lmao

2) his desire to help fellow mages - Up until now Anders had been able to sweet talk him out of helping the Mage Underground. Or change the subject until Hawke forgets. But now Hawke is unrelentless thanks to Purpose and Anders has to give up eventually. The mage issue did play a huge role in Purpose's change from demon to spirit, so he carries it close to heart and chose a host accordingly.

[meowmeowmage]

Because I can't put a poll when I reblog my own posts, I'm making this new one

[meowmeowmage]

(Set in this AU)

Hawke and Co go to the Fade to save Feynriel and immediately upon entering this half naked hottie twink throws himself around Justice's neck like "hi hi hiii Justice!! :DDD" and Hawke.exe crashes on the spot

[meowmeowmage]

Hawke writing his latest update letter to warden!Carver like

Hey, little brother

I defeated the Arishok and became Kirkwall's Champion. Also got possessed by a spirit of Purpose that used to be a Desire demon. How are things in the wardens??

Garrett

and offer no further details on either topic

[meowmeowmage]

I have MORE PURPOSE AU QUESTIONS!

With how Hawke interacts with Purpose (actually having full on conversations, working together on things in tandem, not just going by feelings) how do you think Anders would react to finding out how different it is from him and Justice and do you think it would change how he interacts with Justice? Like making an effort to not block him out so hard?

Alternatively, Hawke is the one, via Purpose, to tell Anders that Justice is still there, just being respectful of Anders' trying to block him 🥺

Eventually Anders and Justice will get much better, bc I want Anders to be happy and have nice things 🥺 but at first - Anders's not taking this whole thing well, at all. Seeing how well Hawke and Purpose function together just feeds further his own feeling of guilt and self-loathing that made him think Justice got corrupted in the first place. Bc in his mind: Hawke doing well with a spirit = Hawke is good, Anders doing bad with a spirit = Anders is not good. And while he is happy about Hawke, he's also a bit jealous, feeling all wrong all over again, and a bit like a failure. And ofc, he doesn't want to talk about it, or rather - he doesn't think he needs to.

The game doesn't allow Hawke to talk to Anders about Justice, and convince him he's not a demon, especially after seeing him in the Fade. This Hawke is not restricted like that, so he did try. Anders clamped up real fast and Hawke decided not to push for now.

But deep down he wants to talk about it, and knows that Anders would be better for it if they did. Purpose ofc picks up on that. And while at first he doesn't want to push his host, he also misses Justice (it's my hc that spirits possessing people can't speak to each other in the Fade, only to other spirits who are in the Fade currently), so at some point Purpose decides enough is enough and confronts Anders. It gets messy. This particular part is the one I plan on writing next.

[meowmeowmage]

We're definitely not there yet, so things may progress differently, but in the Purpose AU when it comes to the Chantry bomb...

[meowmeowmage]

Imagining at some point someone from the group going to see Hawke and Anders at the estate, not knocking of course, and running into Justice and Purpose chatting instead 💀

That ought to teach them to knock lmaoo

But also it'd be even more hilarious if Justice and Purpose were also doing some mundane task but in a really weird kind of way bc while they both have experience with the mortal realm they're still spirits and sometimes things just don't make sense to them the same way they do to mortals

[meowmeowmage]

Stop I feel so sad for Purpose 😭 He misses his friend and crush! Amusing to think that the catalyst for Hawke finally talking to Anders about Justice could be to lift the mood of the sad spirit in his head.

Hawke: I need your help and you're the only one that can do it

Anders, who would always do anything to help Hawke has no idea where that conversation is going 😂

Poor Hawke would rather face the Arishok again than deal with his domestic troubles 😂😂 bringing up to subject to Anders would be like trying to disarm a bomb blindfolded lmao