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savage-rhi · 11 months

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Mending Shadows // Chapter 21

Summary:

Y/N was a simple Scavenger of Lucis, until meeting a deadly blow at the hands of an infected creature. At the crossroads of death, they are found by Niflheim’s cryptic Chancellor with his own agenda. Now bonded to Ardyn Izunia, and tossed into the world of Niflheim, Y/N struggles to cope with their new life as an Imperial Icon all the while battling their feelings toward their fate and that of Ardyn’s.

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Weeks had passed, and Y/N didn’t feel ready for what awaited them in Accordo.

Ardyn wouldn’t set me up to fail… Y/N reassured themself for what felt like the hundredth time as they paced around the lower deck of the airship. It was quiet near the storage chamber versus the upper bridge; where Imperial soldiers lurked, while the powerful who were obligated to attend the betrothal ceremony exchanged gossip.

Y/N imagined Ardyn was having the time of his life up there, suckering more people into his tangled web. He had stressed more than once that being social wasn’t truly something he enjoyed, but at times Y/N had caught him where it was obvious he was eating it up. He couldn’t hide his nature from them. Their bond through the scourge would see to that.

Ever since the bleedthrough, Ardyn had been more transparent. At least when it came to politics and extravagant plots. Y/N lost count of the times Ardyn had asked for a second opinion, and purposefully invited them to the study hall of his residency to go over a plan. Many debates were had, and at times Ardyn didn’t care much for what Y/N had to say, but he showed gratitude at the end even if a stalemate occurred. With his notoriety for being seclusive among the high Imperials--and feeling alienated due to his actual age--Y/N assumed it must’ve brought him comfort, being able to talk to someone else beside himself. Ardyn held everyone at an arms length, except for Y/N. This made them wonder just how far up the ladder they were in comparison to most.

Y/N let the awe of those moments travel through their mind. With everything Ardyn confided thus far, it was both remarkable and intimidating what he had been meticulously laying out. All to make sure when the time came to fulfill his role as Adagium, he’d be successful. Y/N could see the maze of dominos he would one day flick and the chain reaction that would lead to many downfalls. Although, he did leave out many crucial details. Even with his eager openness as of late, Y/N doubted Ardyn would ever give anyone the full picture of what was setting out to do.

Y/N stopped midway on a flight of stairs, leading to the lower deck of the storage unit, and squeezed the handrail so hard that their knuckles began to turn a pale white.

Y/N stopped in between the doorframe leading from the main hall and to the living room. Furrowing their brows, Y/N shook their head seeing Ardyn at the sofa. He was meticulously reading over some files with the paper less than a few inches from his face. Y/N couldn’t help but snort. From a distance it appeared as if he was getting ready to devour the material rather than comb over for information. It was yet another sign that Y/N was right on the money when it came to Ardyn’s eyesight. It wasn’t the best. Clutching onto the small box at their side, they let out a nervous breath while recalling the last conversation they had concerning his eyes. Ardyn bitterly denied and rejected the accusation. So much so that he got angry enough to let his daemonic side show itself to immediately silence the discussion. Y/N’s body remembered what Ardyn’s anger felt like: pulsing waves to the sides of the temple, tense muscles around the throat, and a tight feeling in the chest. The memory of that bleed experience made them second guess approaching him, and Y/N could feel their right foot take a step back.

That’s when Ardyn stopped in the middle of reading upon sensing the slight shift of sound in his domain. He looked up at Y/N with a faint smile. “Attempting to get a jump on me?” Y/N rolled their eyes at his calm yet sarcastic tone. “Wouldn’t you be able to sense me anyway? If I was going to kill you in broad daylight, I’d think my emotions would’ve betrayed my elaborate plan.” “Not necessarily,” Ardyn mused as he put down the stack of papers on the empty side of the sofa cushion. “I feel your emotions at times, but I can't read your literal intention. I'm assuming it's the same for you regarding me." “More or less,” Y/N nodded in agreement. Ardyn raised a brow out of curiosity. “Is there a new development in our bond you wish to share?” “What?” Y/N was taken aback, then shook their head when it dawned on them what he meant. “No, no. Nothing has changed for me as of late.” “What’s that you got there?” Ardyn gestured toward the box. He motioned with his right hand for Y/N to approach him and watched as they cautiously ventured to the sofa. If he didn’t know better, they seemed to be bracing themself. Ardyn furrowed his brows as Y/N stood behind the sofa, but remained within his periphery. He adjusted so his body was facing more toward them and he crossed a leg over his lap.

“I got you something from the Marquet,” Y/N began and handed the slender black box to him. They smiled despite Ardyn letting out a disappointed hum while he carefully examined the object. “I’m assuming with the gil I gifted you?” Y/N shrugged. “Yeah, it's not like I have another currency at my disposal.” “That gil was for your own indulgence,” Ardyn said with mild irritation. He let out a sigh. “You didn’t spend it all on this...thing, did you?” “Of course not!” Y/N scoffed with a laugh. “Even though its a custom order, the price barely touched the 10,000 gil you gave me.” “That’s a relief,” Ardyn murmured with a tease. “You had me worried.” “About?” “Having to put a stop to giving you an allowance. Last I checked you aren’t some unruly adolescent given a taste of financial freedom, though I could be wrong.” Y/N shot a glare when he smirked. Their hands reached toward his right shoulder and gave him a shove which Ardyn laughed at. “Just open the damn thing, will you?”

“No need to fret,” Ardyn chuckled. He turned his attention back to the box and popped the lid off. Shortly after, he removed a soft fabric that was covering up the contents within. His fingers lingered on the texture, surprised at how silky it was before proceeding. Ardyn froze when he saw the glasses. His brows knitted while a frown formed on his lips. He carefully took the reading glasses out, scrutinizing over the rims and temples. There was a glimmer of fascination in his eyes that Y/N couldn’t see while his thumb felt the material of the outer rim of the frames. Oh shit, he hates it… Y/N swallowed. Their pulse began to quake, feeling maybe they should get a head start on running because Ardyn didn’t look amused in the slightest. Then again, they should’ve known better for this was a touchy subject for him. “I rather like how the dark red fades into the black on the temples,” Ardyn began. “The raised gold bar side detail, is it a mere aesthetic?” Y/N was almost too stunned to say anything. They blinked a few times, then gently took the glasses from him, giving a demonstration. “It serves as a practical use too,” Y/N started and used their index finger to go over the raised spot. “It helps with grip. I noticed your right thumb and index finger sometimes have trouble. I thought this would make it easier.” Y/N handed the glasses back to Ardyn. They watched as he nodded and went back to inspecting.

“You’re more observant than you let on.” Ardyn murmured. “Is that a bad thing?” “No,” Ardyn shook his head. “Mildly annoying, but no. It’s not a bad skill to have at your disposal.” A silence began to dwell between the two while Ardyn sorted through his thoughts. He had an epiphany what the silky fabric was for, and picked it up and began to clean the lenses. While doing so, he looked briefly at Y/N before focusing on his task. “I should be upset that you did this.” “I know.” Y/N sighed in defeat. “To be honest, I can see how this could come across as insulting.” “Yet you still proceeded.” “It hurts watching you struggle. You always look like you're in pain after hunching forward to read because you can't see the text. There’s no shame using an aid. Especially for vision." Ardyn let out an amused hum then sat the fabric back down. He was still reluctant to try the glasses on, and debated with himself before speaking. “There wasn’t anything like glasses in my time. Being blind in any capacity was heavily judged. With me being a royal, and if the fanatics found out, this could’ve garnered me a reputation I wouldn’t have been able to recover from.” “Just for being farsighted?”

Ardyn nodded. “It would’ve been a terrible omen in my case; that I would be ‘blind to the plight of the people’. With being the future king on my shoulders, you can see why I kept silent.” “That’s some utter shit.” Ardyn laughed at Y/N’s crude remark. “It is what it is.” “And your thumb and index finger,” Y/N began as they gestured toward his right hand. “What’s wrong with them?” Ardyn averted his gaze and glared. The sudden change in demeanor was enough to get Y/N to take a step back which he caught onto. He gestured for them not to flee. “You didn’t overstep,” Ardyn said as he closed his eyes for a moment, calming himself down upon feeling his blood boil. “I’m not enraged at you.” “It’s your circumstance, right?” Ardyn gave a nod. “Correct.” “You don’t have to tell me,” Y/N reassured, trying to soften the blow they had unintentionally knocked toward him. “It’s not my business to--” “I have nerve damage among other things,” Ardyn interrupted. He looked up at Y/N. There was a serious morose in his gaze while his mind lingered on the scattered memories that led up to his imprisonment at Angelgard. “My body endured much when I was crucified. I was nothing but torn flesh and broken bones by the time the mob strung me up onto the hooks. Even after Verstael freed me thousands of years later, my body hasn’t fully recovered. The material Somnus and his followers imbued within those chains prolonged many of my past ailments to this day.”

“What kind of material would do that?” Y/N muttered under their breath. The grotesque visual they imagined of Ardyn made them grimace. “Mythril and a compound which is now extinct,” Ardyn mused with a huff. “The limp in my left leg is another consequence. The same could be said for the scars I carry. It's amazing, that even with my immortal gifts such damages remain with me." Y/N remained quiet while Ardyn shared his experience. The way he was both nonchalant and bitter about the subject had them feeling uneasy on his behalf. Y/N walked around to the front of the sofa, facing Ardyn while his head followed them. “You didn’t have to tell me anything, but thanks for trusting me enough to do it anyway.” “I rather enjoy confiding in you,” Ardyn said sincerely. He smirked after capturing Y/N’s eyes with his own. “You’re easy to speak with when I’m not in a sour mood.” “I’ll make a note of that.” Y/N said quietly with a smile. A tingling sensation went across Y/N’s nerves which briefly had them fearful the scourge was flaring, until it dulled into an almost euphoric buzz. Y/N compared it to the anticipation one would get during the climb of a roller coaster. An anxious churning of the stomach right before the drop. “I trust you won’t make a mockery out of me if I put these on now.” Ardyn stated, breaking the silence. The feelings Y/N had instantly went away. Now registering they had been sensing Ardyn’s emotions and physical state, they couldn’t help but wonder what the hell that had been about. It was strong. Really strong. “No promises there.” Y/N said with a grin, not wanting to linger nor to tip off Ardyn that they felt something.

Ardyn let out a reluctant sigh and then put the glasses on. He adjusted some of the longer strands of his hair, making sure the limbs of the glasses didn’t get tangled up in his locks. Once settled, he made a face. It was nearly akin to the expression a child would make upon feeling embarrassed about a situation. “How do I look?” Y/N bit the inside of their cheek, trying very hard to suppress the large grin that wanted to remain on their face. They resorted to covering their mouth with their right palm, then retreated the limb away after clearing their throat. “Rather ridiculous I take?” “No, absolutely not!” Y/N exclaimed. Ardyn raised a brow, his eyes combing over their face like he wasn’t buying it in the slightest. “Your amused expression would suggest otherwise.” “I’m not trying to make fun of you!” Y/N said in their defense, and shyly rubbed the side of their neck while Ardyn rummaged for his cellphone out of his pocket. He looked away from Y/N while using the camera portion of his device to see himself. “Oh dear,” Ardyn murmured. He was taken aback, looking bewildered if anything. He ignored the chuckle that Y/N made and adjusted the bridge. “What’s the verdict, Chancellor?” “I look like my father with these.” Ardyn blatantly stated. Y/N snorted and laughed at how serious he sounded. Confusion soon crossed their features. “Wait, you said glasses weren’t a thing back then?” “That remains true, but there’s something peculiar about these specs that make his features more pronounced on me.”

“I think you look cute.” “Oh?” They were both stunned. Too surprised to say anything. Despite a twinge of red gracing his nose and face, Ardyn was quick to recover himself. He snapped out of his freeze, and smirked. His expression carried a mischievousness that he could tell made Y/N uneasy and put under the spotlight. “It seems we’re both feeling rather confessional today.” Ardyn chuckled. “I didn’t mean it like that!” “Then pray tell what you meant. Unless cute is slang for something else nowadays, I recall it means to be endearing or sweet.” “I was only complimenting you. It’s not that deep!” Y/N said in their defense. “Ah, but you were complimenting me! Therefore I can deduce I strongly appeal to you in some degree or another.” “I’m taking those back for an exchange.” Y/N said, trying to change the subject and cover up their embarrassment. “I. Think. Not.” Ardyn mused while he enunciated each word. “I’m actually rather fond of these. Now more than ever.”

“Quit while you’re ahead.” Y/N warned, shooting him a glare that could either be distinguished as playful or serious. “But we were just beginning to have some fun!” “Yeah,” Y/N scoffed. “At my expense.” “We both know you love it!” Mutual laughter fell between Y/N and Ardyn when they both realized how ridiculous the situation was. Antics died down, and they suddenly were both staring at one another intensely. It contrasted with the ease that flowed between them, along with a contentment that neither were endangered by the other. Letting out a breath, Ardyn took the glasses off and put them back into the box. He then stood up and approached Y/N. Y/N nerves climbed up their spine when he was but a few inches away from them. An odd sensation pooled in their upper chest as Ardyn's left hand cupped their cheek. His fingers traveled to their chin, gripping it gently before pulling them forward. Y/N's face could've landed in his chest if he hadn't stopped them before impact. Y/N could feel the bump of his nose and the soft texture of his lips upon their forehead. Warmth spread everywhere in Y/N as a jolt traveled down to their toes. It grew when they felt Ardyn gently inhale and exhale against their scalp.

“Thank you for the gift.” Ardyn murmured against them. “You’re not mad I got these for you?” “No,” Ardyn pressed another kiss to their flesh and pulled away. His hand remained under their chin, thumb gently stroking over their skin. “It’ll grow on me, much like yourself.” "Oh," Y/N murmured, getting lost in his amber eyes. The strong yellows and oranges that normally danced in his iris were being consumed by the darkness of his pupils. Y/N's heart skipped. It looked as if he was drowning at the sight of them. His breath ran across their nose, and Y/N didn't realize they were so close to pressing their lips to Ardyn's until he let go, and didn't say a word as he ventured out of the living room after taking the box with him.

In the present, Y/N’s eyes were closed as they let out a deep breath. They tried to focus on their previous concerns. A righteous person of strong morality would be doing everything in their power to find a way to warn Lucis what they had come to learn about Ardyn's future exploits. Despite their convictions, Y/N knew they'd never find the courage to rat him out. Not because of fear. No. Not when death was already on the line, and they had been wanting, but because of something else.

Y/N remembered a terrible tale that spread across Lucis years ago. How an elderly woman needed help going to a hospital, but she had been stuck on her sofa for so many years, that her skin had grown into the fabric of the couch. Y/N didn't know what this feeling was that they had developed for Ardyn, but like the old woman, Y/N felt that if something tried to rip him away, it would be just as excruciating.

It’ll grow on me, much like yourself…His words echoed throughout their head, and with a growl under their breath, Y/N forced themself to continue walking.

“This has to be the scourges doing,” Y/N muttered, trying to rationalize their thoughts.

Speaking of… Y/N furrowed their brows when they came to a stop, looking out one of the windows to the deep sea below. As they admired the saturated blues and sunny sky, Y/N heard a shuttering whisper reverberate through the shell of their ears. Swallowing, they rummaged through their pants pocket, taking out a few tablets from a plastic bottle and popped them into their mouth. A dull pain began to radiate from their jaw and worked its snare down their arms, but never went past a certain point. A sigh of relief left them as they swallowed the last capsule.

While Y/N couldn’t predict flares, they had to admit it was getting easier to anticipate when one might decide to creep in. It wasn’t always a success, trying to be one step ahead of the darkness, but Y/N felt good knowing they were finding a way to co-exist with the chronic disease. Despite the recent wins, Y/N wasn’t going to lie to themself: dying was still a mercy they sought.

Before Y/N could dwell on it further, the soft sound of footsteps followed by a familiar scent had them turn around quick with a gasp.

“Spooked you, did I?” Ardyn mused with a grin.

Y/N sighed, eyeing Ardyn’s body up and down. A shadowy fog whiffed off his clothes and flesh, and eventually faded away.

“I’ll never get used to you shadow stepping.” Y/N groaned while they gestured at Ardyn with concern. “Aren’t you afraid someone is going to catch you doing that?”

“Not really,” Ardyn shrugged. “It’s a skill I’ve perfected over the years. Comes with being a sneaky bastard, as you affectionately called me at the Imperial Banquet.”

“You know I was joking, right?” Y/N snorted.

“I’m well aware, but I do so love a good guilt trip! Especially when it’s at the expense of your pride.” Ardyn chuckled. Worry drifted across his features as his eyes roamed over Y/N, trying to find any trace of the scourge upon them.

“Are you alright?”

“I just took four pills. It’s working, I think.” Y/N murmured, showing the bottle to him before putting the plastic roll back into their pocket.

“When we are settled in Altissa, I can help you further.”

“What happened to the ‘you gotta be strong and tough it out’ motto?” Y/N teased, getting Ardyn to shoot them a playful glare.

“You still need to work on building resistance,” Ardyn stressed. “But it’s another matter entirely when I can feel it too. It’s quite irritating.”

“Right…” That was something Y/N had noticed ever since the bleedthrough occurred, that Ardyn was starting to experience more of their flare ups himself. He never once complained, nor showed signs he was in distress, but Y/N had caught him several times now looking more exhausted than usual. It seemed his barriers were coming down more, and Y/N felt a terrible pit in their stomach knowing this was more or less their fault. 2,000 years of enduring pain beyond human comprehension--to where it became a mere itch--and now he was slowly going back to square one.

“You’ve been doing that a lot,” Y/N said, breaking from their thoughts.

“Doing what exactly?” Ardyn smirked.

“Dropping everything to come check on me,” Y/N watched his smirk disappear, knowing he had been caught. “Every time I have a scourge flare now, you’re always at my side within an hour or even minutes.”

“Is it not compassionate of me to ensure my guest is feeling healthy and happy?”

“I feel like it’s gotten you into trouble.”

“Trouble?” Ardyn raised a brow.

“I heard that several higher Imperials petitioned to suspend you from court because of you leaving midway through procession. Even the Imperial Council complained to Aldercapt that you’ve been having difficulty balancing self care and duty.”

The face he made indicated to Y/N that he had been caught red handed. He didn’t like it one bit.

“How did you come to find that out?”

Y/N snorted. “Tuti, Gretchen and pretty much all the Imperial Help in the East Wing have been squawking about it. They love to gossip. Loudly.”

“But of course…” Ardyn rolled his eyes. He sighed, but alas didn’t let this deter him from his convictions. “I’m the Chancellor. As far as anyone is concerned, I can come and go as I please. Besides, I’d rather be holed up with you feeling miserable than crestfallen while performing tasks like budgeting.”

“That’s almost too sweet.” Y/N teased.

“Well,” Ardyn hummed. “I could easily sour the mood?”

“Bet?”

“Be careful what you wish for,” Ardyn darkly chuckled. As much as he was enjoying this little banter, there were tasks he needed to give to Y/N. “I’m going to need you to do me a favor when we are in Accordo.”

“Like I don’t have a list as long as an Anak’s neck.” Y/N murmured.

“Come now, this won’t be too difficult! I merely need you to gather some information for me.”

Y/N frowned. “You definitely soured the mood without even hitting the punch line.”

Ardyn laughed. “I aim to please!

Y/N sighed. “Alright, smart aleck. What’s this regarding?”

Ardyn glanced over Y/N. Their reluctance was plain as day, and quite endearing in an annoying sort of fashion. Catching himself smiling too long at that, Ardyn cast his gaze to the ocean beyond the glass of the airship.

“I received a tip that the tomb of a Lucian King was discovered on one of the smaller islands near Altissa. While it may be hearsay, it’s imperative I find the location while we are partaking in the betrothal ceremonies.”

Tomb…? Y/N couldn’t drudge up any past conversation where Ardyn mentioned this. They thought perhaps archeology was a fascination of his, much like his love for cars, literature, and music.

“What would you need with a tomb?” Y/N asked. They noted Ardyn’s hesitancy showing through the slight pout of his lips.

“It’s a matter of what I need from the tomb,” Ardyn corrected. He looked up as the airship hit turbulence. Some of the pipes rattled, and the creaky sound of metal echoed through the base. He prevented Y/N from falling by grabbing hold of the collar of their shirt, and yanked them toward his body. To save them both the trouble of balance, Ardyn wrapped his right arm around Y/N's waist to anchor them.

“You alright?” Ardyn chortled when the quakes died down.

“I hate airships.” Y/N bemused, shaking their head while they glanced around as if the walls would begin to implode due to the altitude.

“We both know that’s a lie,” Ardyn teased. “You like flying!”

“Maybe on the back of a chocobo,” Y/N huffed.

Y/N and Ardyn both smiled at one another, trying to suppress a bout of laughs. It was only when Ardyn gently squeezed Y/N’s waist did either realize their proximity, and the two dispersed with reddened faces.

After Ardyn had let go of Y/N, he cleared his throat.

“As I was saying before we were interrupted, I need you to find out where this tomb is. Given your former occupation as a Scavanger, I’m sure you could use your skills of persuasion to aid me. One of the Accordian socialites you’ll be meeting has the intel I seek. Her name is Betrys D'bhara. If you could find the means to win her fealty, I’d be grateful.”

“I’ll give it a go, but I can’t promise anything. There’s a chance she won’t like me.”

Ardyn furrowed his brows, turning his head ever so slightly toward Y/N while he regarded them, and gently murmured.

“What’s not to like about you?”

Y/N swallowed back their pulse. “I’m flawed?”

“As am I, and yet here you are tolerating me. What’s not to admire about that?” Ardyn smiled, until his lips quirked into a knowing smirk.

Y/N didn’t know whether or not they wanted to slap his smirk off or kiss it away. The intrusive thought made them grimace and avert their eyes from him.

“Are you ill?”

“No, but I think a flare might be coming.”

Ardyn wasn’t buying Y/N’s statement, but he couldn’t pry further. Not when he felt his cell phone ring in his pocket, signifying that he was needed in the upper level of the airship yet again. Nevertheless, he made note to potentially re-visit this conversation with Y/N.

“We’ll be docking soon,” Ardyn reassured Y/N. “I would suggest putting together something jovial for your attire. It’ll leave a good impression with both the Accordo representatives and the public.”

“Alright.”

“And Y/N,”

“Yeah?”

Ardyn held their gaze for a long moment, acknowledging them and seemingly whatever they were trying to hide. He could feel the air of suspense grow the longer they both stared at one another. A part of him felt tempted to reach out to touch Y/N, but he relented with a shake of his head.

“Nothing.” He whispered with a sigh, and began his trek back to the upper dock.

As soon as Ardyn was out of the vicinity, it felt as if oxygen returned back to the room, and Y/N swallowed. A simple thought came and went: this feeling they had growing toward Ardyn, felt scarier than dying and scarier than what awaited them in Accordo.

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