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asavt · 3 years

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Another cookie squad Headcanons

Featuring Sparkling, Vampire, cellphones and the Espresso and Madeleine Story of how they came together. Consider it an AU now baby!

-As a note, when I say the squad I'm mostly referring to the adults, so no worries about Walnut or Creampuff useless I mention them too

-Each one of the squad has been in Sparkling's bar at last once. There's no need to say who has been there the most. Sparkling has a time every time someone besides Roguefort comes, because to him it's mostly like "Oh I'll finally know the continuation to the burnt toast accident or maybe the cat catastrophe? Maybe a new POV of the--"

He practically knows a lot of what happens in between the squad.

-As another note, Sparkling's bar is called Milabo (You know, like the song from Zutomayo of the same name, which, btw, I relate a lot to Latte)

-*A great part of this “AU” is kind of inspired by the song. Part of its lyrics and vibe.

-Vampire is there most of the time when the squad visits the bar (it's almost as if he never leaves the bar and this is definitely not me low-key putting sparkvamp in this oh no--) Sometimes the fakes his sleep to listen to the things others say (Which is how he knows most of Rogue's pan-ic).

-Walnut has been in Sparkling's bar too, but at day and for case-solving purposes only. Sparkling will give her some alcohol-free drink for free sometimes (mostly because he gets along pretty well with the nut family and because Almond usually pays him whatever he serves her).

-If the squad had cellphones (and probably an app like discord because.), their group chat would initially be called "Coffee mage appreciation group" and then be changed to "Coffee bean appreciation group"

Coffee Bean: Can we please change the group name and mine?

Guided by the Devine: No <3

Coffee Bean: Fuck you.

-*And they all would dedicate half their time to make fun of Almond but with love.

-Espresso has been mistaken for a dark mage before by Almond. It was how they meet actually. Almond had pulled him to interrogate him and got a long lecture on the differences between black magic and coffee magic.

-Madeleine gets along rather well with Roguefort. Rogue seems impressed by Maddie’s acting skills.

-Madeleine is currently living with Espresso. Out of his armor most of the time. He usually takes care of keeping the house clean and preparing meals (He never really had to cook before but the first dish he made wasn’t bad at all). Sometimes he will tag along Almond in the detective’s work, or Almond will ask for his help.

-I’m still unsure if I want the Almond/Roguefort/Latte to be romantic or platonic. But honestly? Both are good. Latte is pretty close to Almond and Roguefort but not in the way she is with Espresso (that makes them look like siblings jkashduawhu). Perhaps I’ll keep it platonic.

-The Espresseleine/Madespresso story of how they came together, because I seem to not be able to write it down JSHALDHUIWADWA-

--It happens after the Puppet Show mini quest. Madeleine starts to ask for Espresso's "assistance" in different mission that are given to him. Angel is there too, of course.

--During these missions is that Essy clarifies that no, they are not friends, no, he does not like Madeleine. Bringing up the knight begin too prideful and self-centered if not all then most of the time.

--Is not until one of their missions goes wrong, were Angel is knocked out and Espresso (seeing and knowing that if Madeleine is knocked down too they might not be able to go back to the kingdom ever) pretty much receives a rather big attack for Madeleine is that he kind realizes the facts given by espresso true. All while he is carrying Essy and Angel back to the kingdom, running and exhausted too.

--Clover begin kind of a mediator between the two (I want to see more of my son--)

--"Devine, protect us" Should happen too after this. An scenario like, Madeleine coming to think something like "I'm the shield, the one who goes on the front line and receives the blows for those who can't, always looking straight ahead... but if I am doing that then who watches my back? Who do I rely on and trust to take care of most enemies so the damage received is not overwhelming...?"

Power of team work baby!!!

--As a note to this, Maddie getting his cape damaged as well as his hair. So, you get short hair Maddie~

(I've been drawing him with short hair in secret now I have an excuse to show)

-- "You...cut your hair..." *Madeleine touches the points of it with one of his hands, pensive* "...pft it'll grow back!"

--There's also this "Search for your own light" thing between Angel and Maddie. Angel encouraging Madeleine to do so. Maybe Madeleine giving his best wishes to them for their wish to fly before they decide to part ways.

--Madeleine trying other ways to befriend Essy. Which at first Espresso mistaken as the knight usual attempts to befriend anyone he sees out of habit and attention seeking, but once they realize the feeling is completely genuine, Espresso is rather perplexed.

--"You can't just befriend people by buying them gifts (although I do appreciate them)" "Then what?" "hmm..."

--Said gifts used to be rather expensive things, simple though. Eventually Madeleine settles to just pass by Espresso's place, give him any food he had bought that day (which usually is glazed donuts), ask if he needs any help with something (getting a vase, materials, moving things), and if not then he just says his good byes, best wishes and silently leaves. (A note on the "silently leaves": Madeleine is pretty much used to speak loudly and enter loudly anywhere, he still does this at this point, but when it's about Espresso he is a bit more quiet, a bit showy over his entrances still, but less loud, and he actually knocks the door)

--Madeleine eventually manages to go out with Espresso to other places that aren't some place in the forest full of enemies. Probably after some more visits to his place and more calm talks between the two, Madeleine brings up that Espresso tends to act a bit cold or distant towards a lot of people, and that, although he understands his discomfort at begin in public spaces or too long out of his work, he should try and open up a bit. This reminds Essy of a certain friend he hasn't seen in some time, and from whom he keeps getting letters.

--Shenanigans.

--There's still some bickering between the two, always with a playful undertone though.

--Espresso explains Madeleine, one time the knight has gotten Espresso wrapped in a blanket burrito again and got him to bed, that sometimes, no matter how tired he might feel, he is simply unable to sleep. Part of a headcanon of mine that coffee magic has this side effect on it's users, prolonged usage of this kind of magic will induce a high caffeine kind of state, which on the long run can fuck up the user's sleep schedule. Madeleine understands this, but remains stubborn about keeping Espresso in the bed so at last he can get some rest from his work and clear his mind a little, the idiot falls asleep in the process and Espresso doesn't try to wake him up.

--This happens several times after, neither of them thinking of the implications of not begin bothered by the sudden closeness they share until it's too late.

--Espresso realizes first that he has slowly, yet nicely, fallen for Madeleine. I think I talked about this before but I'll do it again: Is in one of the times Madeleine has gotten Espresso to bed to get some rest, Espresso not begin able to fall asleep and Madeleine doing again. Is while he thinks of how he has gotten to know Madeleine for real, not the Knight Commander from a noble family or the Chosen by the Devine, but as he is, that he comes to think that "Ah.... I love him" and he remains calm about it.

--Espresso doesn't overthink it, just thinks that, if Madeleine ever got an interest in him, he would surely show it. So he waits. Even if in the end his feelings aren't mutual he knows he'll do just fine remaining friends.

--Madeleine realizes not many days after. And the realization hits him like a truck. Alone in his place and probably in bed looking at the ceiling thinking about Espresso. Once he realizes and thinks about it a bit more his face gets all red and chooses to scream in the pillow.

--He would think about telling Espresso as soon as he can, after all, he doesn't want his feelings to make their friendship weird. He values it, a lot. Maybe because his friendship with Espresso it's the first one where he genuinely wanted to become friends with someone.

--Espresso takes the confession calmly, gets all flustered after they kiss for the first time.

--As a few extras of this: Madeleine goes back to the Republic, asked to be seen by his family and Espresso goes to Parfedia, where a few students have applied to his class to his surprise. When they see each other again is at Parfedia (Madeleine sending a message to Espresso beforehand about his arrival) -there was this one drawing I did once of Maddie running to hug Espresso, something like that happens-. Madeleine gets very clingy for some reason, which they speak later and comes out as “Home doesn’t quite feel like home…” “Why is that?” “I don’t know… maybe I’ve become used to be around you”

--Espresso lets ends up letting Madeleine stay with him until he either feels like returning to the Republic or is called back, whatever happens first (though none will happen for maybe a year or a little more).

--Ends with Madeleine meeting Latte and Almond.

#Headcanon time baby!#The cookie squad #Espresso Cookie #Madeleine cookie #espresseleine #madespresso #Roguefort cookie #Almond cookie #Latte Cookie #Sparkling cookie #Vampire cookie #Walnut cookie #Bar gays

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legendofthefireemblem · 2 years

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Sorry I just see your Polizeiruf stuff and think of you from time to time, like do you speak any German? How did you get into it?? How are you holding up? Can you read the German fics in Google translate or something at least 😟

Ah, thanks for thinking of me ^^ This is definitely a long story so buckle up.

For context, I speak very little German (beginner level/A1). I've always been keen on learning it but I've never had the time to get farther than A1. Anyways, I saw some German mutuals recently lose their mind over the recent Tatort Saarbrücken episode, so my interest was peaked in German crime shows. Then a Slack conversation popped up about Tatort and Polizeiruf 110, where some funny comparisons were made (Is the Doctor Who of Germany a local old people crime show? apparently yes). The convo mainly focused on Tatort when @papercutdoctor brought up the new Polizeiruf pair: Kommissars Sleep Deprived and Gender Frodo.

After this convo I made two goals:

Get the English subs for Tatort Saarbrücken

Write a crack fic about Gender Frodo throwing the ring into Mount Doom

@papercutdoctor mentioned that she was working on subs from that latest episode, so I thought it would be a good idea to ask for them. Maybe I would get around to watching them after Tatort Saarbrücken. I didn't need them for the crack fic, but it would be nice. I didn't expect them to be done quickly, but ofc, she finished the English subs for Hildes Erbe two days after that convo. I, being my usual procrastinator self, still hadn't even asked for the Tatort subs. It actually took me twelve days to get around to watching it, but hoo boy once I did, there was no going back.

I wrote my fist P110 fic within three days of watching because they did in fact, drive me that insane. I am very unwell (in a good way) because they are definitely one of my favourite dynamic types. However, I will admit I am suffering a little. I've been able to discuss with both papercutdoctor and another friend so I'm not entirely alone, but I am jealous of the Discord that I've heard about. I've been reading fics through Google Translate but I'm very much aware of the failings of GT due to learning other languages in school. Absolutely fascinated by "hätte, hätte, Fahrradkette" but reading it in a GTranslated fic just gets you "would have, would have, bicycle chain" lmao. Either way A1 level German is not that conducive to conducting conversations, reading fic or understanding prior episodes about your blorbos. I've kind of settled for making my own content (the reductress post, second fic) and I've received lovely comments on both, so I'm pretty happy about that :'D

I'd love to discuss with everyone, even if we have to meet in the middle a little heh. I'm always open to messages here on Tumblr (or if you want to use Tumblr to ask for my Discord I'm okay with that too lol). And yes, I still haven't watched Tatort but tbh my brain is so filled to the brim with Adam and Vincent that I don't think there's space for Tatort XD (also there's still no subs for the third ep). I've picked up Nicos Weg and Duolingo again, but with work and other things we'll see how much better I can get at German in time for the next ep ^^

#polizeiruf 110 #this ask really means a lot you're such a dear for asking about me #anyways feel free to come talk to me off anon #that extends to everyone :D

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adenei · 4 years

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Finding My Way To You - Ch. 12

A/N: Shoutout to @be11atrixthestrange for being an amazing beta!

Also, I didn’t even realize that my subconscious implanted the charm bracelet idea from @voldemorts-tap-shoes amazing Romione discord secret santa fic. I must give credit where credit is due!

Warning: This chapter is NSFW. VERY NSFW. Proceed with caution!

*************************

A Charming Evening

“I’m back,” Hermione said as she walked through the door.

Ron opened his eyes and sat up from his position on the couch where he'd fallen asleep. “Hey. Did you have a good time?” He rubbed the sleep away from his eyes as she walked over and sat down next to him.

“I did, yes. It was a bit odd at first, almost the same as when I’d come home from Hogwarts at the end of term. We spent most of the day at their cottage, watching movies, playing games. I helped Mum with dinner. It almost felt like normal again,” Hermione said as she described her day.

“Almost?” Ron questioned.

“Well, yes. We’re in Australia and not England,” Hermione explained.

“Right. Do you think they want to return?” he asked casually.

“I- I think so? Every time I worked up the courage to ask, the conversation turned.” Hermione twisted her hands in her lap. “They invited us to spend the day sightseeing tomorrow. There’s more they want to do around the area with us.”

“That sounds fun,” Ron said with a reassuring smile.

He saw a look of relief flash across her face. “Maybe I can ask tomorrow. At the very least, we need to talk about how much longer we’re staying, and where. I’m sure the Australian Ministry won’t allow us to stay here indefinitely.” Ron let out a nervous laugh that did not go unnoticed by Hermione. “What?”

He gave a brief shake of his head. “ ‘S funny you mention that,” was all he said.

“Why?” Hermione asked. He could hear the slightest hint of impatience in her voice.

“Well, after you left, the fellytone rang later in the morning. Luckily, I’ve had practice answering and talking into one, since you weren’t around to answer it,” he flashed his lopsided grin at her as she rolled her eyes.

“Oh, stop gloating and get on with it,” she said playfully, but there was a tone of nervousness as she was waiting to see who it was.

“Well, Graham Jacobsen was calling to check in on things,” Ron finally explained.

Hermione’s face displayed a look of surprise. “We were supposed to check in with him three days ago! How did we forget?” Hermione shook her head in dismay. “This is so embarrassing! The Australian Ministry has been so kind to give us a place to stay and help us, and here we are completely ignoring them now!”

“Hermione, relax, it’s fine. I explained that we found your parents, and things have been busy since then as you’ve been getting reacquainted. For the record, though, if anyone asks? The information they provided us helped with locating them.”

“Noted,” Hermione said. “So what else did he say?”

“He did ask how long we were planning on staying…” Ron told her.

“And you said?”

“That I needed to talk it over with you and then we would get back to him.”

“And he was okay with that?” Hermione asked before he could finish.

“Yes, Hermione, he said that was fine.”

“Then I really do need to broach the subject with my parents tomorrow,” Hermione concluded.

Ron nodded in relief that Hermione was resolving to bring up the conversation with her parents. He hoped that would make the next part of this conversation go easier. Maybe they’d even avoid a row over it. “There was one more thing Graham mentioned,” he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Oh?” Hermione asked.

“A letter came in for me at the Ministry,” he told her.

“A letter? From who? And don’t they use owls here?” Hermione looked confused so explained how Australia handled international post. “Ah, makes sense,” she said nodding her head. “So, I assume you went down to the Ministry to retrieve it?”

“Yeah,” Ron said, nodding to the pile on the table in front of them. She must have been distracted since she hadn’t even noticed it. “You can read them if you want.”

He knew that even if he did explain it to her, she’d still want to read the letters, so it was probably easier this way. Ron handed her Harry’s letter first. He watched as her eyes raked furiously through Harry’s handwriting. Her face turned slightly pink as she reached the end.

She looked up at him. “Did Kingsley send you a letter, too?” Ron nodded and handed her his letter.

“Well, Harry sent it with his,” Ron shrugged his shoulders as Hermione took the second parchment from him.

She seemed to read this one slower, taking care to process Kingsley’s words. He was beginning to wonder if she was going back and reading it several times because she was awfully quiet. The silence was making the anticipation of her reaction much worse. She finally looked up at him, a wide smile plastering her face and her eyes shining with tears. “You’re going to be an Auror!”

“I mean, if I accept, yeah. But I still have to pass the screenings and get through training…”

“Of course you’ll pass! Ron, this is a huge honor! Why aren’t you happier?” Hermione frowned slightly. “Isn’t this what you want?”

“I- yeah, I do. You’re really okay with this?” he admitted cautiously.

Hermione set the parchment down, and much to Ron’s surprise leaned over and kissed him, her arms wrapping around his neck. The suddenness of it all knocked him back against the cushions as his own hands instinctively found her side. He pulled away slightly and looked into her eyes. “As much as I like this, you aren’t avoiding an answer, are you?” he asked.

Hermione smiled guiltily. “I won’t lie and say I’m not nervous about you going into a dangerous career, especially after what we’ve been through. But I also know that it’s a career that will challenge and suit you, and if it makes you happy, then of course I’m going to support you.”

Ron searched her eyes, which shone with sincerity. “You’re sure?”

“Yes. Just promise me one thing..” she said as she bit her bottom lip.

Ron tried to ignore the arousal he felt from it. “Anything,” he choked out, attempting to focus on the conversation.

“Promise you’ll stay safe, and you’ll- you’ll always come home to me,” she whispered.

Despite all of the progress they’d made with their relationship over the last few days, and even the fact that they’d admitted they loved each other, nothing could surpass this moment. If he had any doubts of Hermione’s seriousness about their relationship, they’d all but vanished now. It was clear that she was just as afraid of losing him as he was of losing her, and that told him everything he needed to know.

“I will. I promise, I will,” he was barely able to say it before his lips found hers again.

There was a new desperation in this kiss, completely unlike their first in the Room of Requirement, or even their second where they finally understood their feelings were mutual. His desire and need to show her just how much she meant to him was prevalent in his mind as he deepened their kiss.

Hermione was straddling his lap as he felt her fingers in his hair. He couldn’t hide his growing erection from her in their current position. As her tongue invaded his mouth, he sucked hard on it, which caused a faint moan to escape her throat. Ron lost all his logical senses and knew he needed to get them to the bedroom where they’d both be more comfortable.

He shifted his arms to hold her as he lifted both of them up and he got to his feet. She wrapped her legs around him in much the same fashion of the previous day as he managed to transport them into the bedroom. Hermione tugged at his shirt as she kicked off her shoes, and Ron helped her by sliding it over his head. He almost didn’t notice her beginning to unbutton her own blouse as his shirt was tossed to the floor.

His lips found hers as his hands replaced the job hers had started. He fumbled a bit with the bottom buttons as he kissed her, but once the last one was free, his hands gingerly slid the fabric off her shoulders. Ron pulled away to look at her. Sure, it was similar to yesterday, but there was something different between Hermione wearing a bikini and seeing her in her undergarments. It was the same amount of skin she was revealing, yet this felt so much more sensual.

The soft glow of the lamp illuminated her soft skin as he tossed her blouse aside, revealing a light pink, lacy bra that pushed up her breasts in just the right way to make them more pronounced. “Fuck, Hermione,” he said breathily.

“Is it too much?” she asked nervously.

“No, it’s perfect. You’re perfect,” he said before his lips met her skin.

He kissed the corner of her mouth, then trailed kisses down to her neck. She gasped as he felt her head tilt back. Her hands reached for the button of his trousers, as she worked to pull them down. He aided her efforts by kicking them off when they got low enough, leaving him in just his pants, which were much more plain than her fancy set.

Ron let his hands wander up to her breasts, where he felt her warm skin over the fabric. He only stopped to help her as she undid her own jeans and was trying to pull them down. He saw that her knickers matched her bra, immediately realizing she’d done this on purpose. How had he not noticed what she’d grabbed that morning? Oh, right, she was distracting me in just a towel. Merlin, she was going to be the death of him.

And now, here they were again. Except this time, there was a look in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place. Of all the times he’d studied her face, he could confidently describe every little nuance, but this...this was different somehow. Ron didn’t realize he was staring at her until he felt Hermione’s hand gently push his head back down to her neck, where he eagerly picked up where he left off.

His hands reached down to cup her bum before planting them on either side of her to hold up his weight. He warily moved down further to the curves of her breasts, relishing in how they felt against his lips and face for the first time. She began to squirm underneath him, and Ron stopped briefly to make sure it was okay.

“You can take this off if you want,” she said, motioning to her bra.

“Are- are you sure?” he asked.

Hermione nodded as she raised her hips into a bridge position to give him access to the clasp. Ron snaked his arm around her and fumbled with it. She adjusted, sitting up slightly to give him a better angle. He gave in and involved both his hands. It wasn’t like he was seasoned with unclasping bras, but he made a mental note to level up to one hand eventually.

He felt the clasp break free and his hands traveled up her back and then down her shoulders, pushing the straps as he went. Ron thought he was prepared for the fabric to fall away, but when it did, he felt his breath hitch in his throat. He was speechless at the sight of her.

She blushed as she lay there, still propped up on her elbows, baring herself for him to see for the first time. “I- I’m sorry their rather small and not much to-”

“They're perfect.” Ron found his voice. “You’re perfect.”

He leaned in and kissed her, feeling her bare chest against his for the first time. He pressed his arousal against her inner thigh, allowing her to feel how much he wanted her.

“R-Ron,” she heard him say against his lips. “I- I want to-”

He looked at her seriously. Bloody hell, did she want to- “You want to what, Hermione?”

“I don’t want to wait anymore,” she said.

“You want to…” Ron wanted to say it, yet couldn’t bring himself to, just in case they weren’t thinking the same thing.

“..Go all the way, have sex, make love, whatever you want to call it.”

“Hermione,” Ron started to say. He needed to be sure.

“I’m serious, Ron. Haven’t we waited long enough?” Ron simply stared at her. Just last night he told himself he’d be willing to wait as long as she wanted, and a day later, she was expressing she was ready. “Unless you don’t want to..”

Her last words brought him back to her. “No! I do, Hermione. Bloody hell, of course I do! I- Are you sure?”

“Yes,” she whispered, tears were threatening in her eyes from the emotion of it all. “I’ve never been more sure.”

“Right, Okay, then.”

He leaned down to kiss her tenderly. Ron was determined to make this special for her. For both of them. He didn’t want it to feel abrupt, so he worked their way back into it, relishing in the feel of her against him. Eventually his fingers hooked around her knickers, and he felt her nod against his mouth as he pulled them down to her ankles. His hands trailed back up her thighs as he hesitantly felt the warmth of her center. She was hot and wet and clearly ready for him. It was still hard to believe he made her feel that way.

She moaned at his touch as he felt her hands move to do the same with his pants, freeing his length, and revealing himself fully to her.

“C-can I?” She asked as she hesitantly reached down to grip him for the first time.

“Yeah,” he said against the crook of her neck. When her hand wrapped around him, he couldn’t control the string of expletives that escaped his mouth. “...Fuck, bloody hell, Hermione,” he moaned into her ear. “If you keep doing that I’m gonna-”

She let go. “Ch-Charms,” she said as Ron swore again.

He reluctantly lifted himself off of her to dig around in his trousers for his wand. After pointing the wand toward himself and then at her, he looked at her again. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, Ron. Please,” she said.

He set his wand down and returned to hover over her. “You’ll tell me if it hurts?”

She nodded as Ron used his hand to gently guide him inside her. Her eyes were closed as he entered, and she drew a sharp breath in as he filled her. She was so tight. “All right?” he asked, as she nodded again.

Slowly, he began to move in and out, gradually finding a rhythm. He felt her hips press into his as things started to become more comfortable for her. He leaned down and kissed her deeply, pouring all of the emotion he was feeling into that one kiss.

“I love you, Hermione,” he said as his eyes met hers.

“I love you, too, Ron,” she responded as her hands found the hair at the nape of his neck.

Ron felt himself begin to thrust faster and knew it wouldn’t take long. He felt her encourage him as her lips found his neck and her hands trailed across his body. “F-fuck, Hermione, I’m gonna,” he said as he spilled himself inside her seconds later. Hermione captured his lips with hers as he rode out his orgasm.

He allowed himself to relax on top of her as he recovered before slowly slipping out and reaching for his wand to clean things up.

“You’re bloody amazing, you know that?” he asked her as she lay there watching him.

“So are you,” she said through a smile.

“I’m sorry that probably wasn’t brilliant…” he apologized.

“It was fine, Ron,” Hermione told him.

He let out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s what every bloke wants to hear their first time.”

“I didn’t mean it like that! Aren’t first times supposed to be awkward, and, well, not entirely satisfying?” she defended quickly.

“I guess that’s true,” he said as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Did you, er, want to put clothes back on?” he asked hesitantly. He was hoping they could maybe explore each other more, without clothes.

“Well, I am a bit cold,” she admitted. “But, I don’t think I’d need them if we get under the covers…” she added.

He watched as she got up and slid the covers back to climb into bed. Ron quickly joined her after placing his wand on the adjoining table. She snuggled into his arms, stealing the warmth he was happy to share.

“I promise I’ll make it more enjoyable for you, too,” Ron said as he kissed the top of her head.

“It’s fine, Ron, really. We’ve got all the time in the world to learn what we like,”

Hermione said as her hand rested on his bare chest. He felt her chuckle against him.

“What’s so funny?”

“I was just thinking about Harry’s letter. Think I should write a response to Ginny on our ‘getting sorted?’”

Ron shook his head. “Make her wait it out.”

She laughed harder at his response. “That’s true, we’ll be home soon enough anyways. That way, I’ll be able to see the look on her face.” Ron looked down at her and Hermione noticed. “What?”

“You said - nevermind,” he said.

“You need to be home at the latest by the end of next week, but we should probably plan for a few days earlier than that. You’re not missing the appointment that they set you,” Hermione said matter of factly.

“Well, yeah, but does that mean that you’re coming with me?” Ron asked.

“Yes, of course, I am! Things will become clearer once I talk to my parents tomorrow, but there’s no way I’d miss helping you prepare for this,” she said propping herself up on her elbow to kiss him on the cheek.

Ron let out a deep exhale. “As long as you’re sure it’s not going to rush your time with them.”

“No, I don’t think so. Besides, I- I want to make use of the time we’ve got before you start training...and before I go back to Hogwarts.” She averted his gaze at that last statement.

Ron squeezed her tighter. “I had a feeling you’d say that.”

“You did?”

“Well, yeah, it must have torn you apart to not go back last year,” he grinned.

“Finishing my education is important to me,” she defended.

“I know, I know,” he said.

“We’ll be okay, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“We’ve just- never been apart for that long before…”

“We’ll make it work. I’ll visit you on Hogsmeade weekends and Ginny will have quidditch matches I can attend. We’ll figure it out,” he said, trying to reassure her. In truth, he was feeling a little apprehensive, too.

Hermione sat up fully. She turned to lean in and kiss him, but something caught her eye. “Ron, what’s that?” She pointed to a small gift bag on his bedside table.

“Oh! I forgot! This is for you.” He reached over and picked up the bag to hand it to her.

“What’s this for? You’re making me feel like a bad girlfriend. I haven’t gotten you anything..”

“Think of it as a belated birthday and Christmas gift from last year,” he said as he shrugged.

“Well, now that just makes me feel worse!” she complained.

“Oi, just open it will you?”

She huffed and carefully picked out the tissue paper. He watched as she reached in and pulled out the small box before looking up at him. He gave her a look to keep going. She carefully slid the top off, revealing the silver bracelet.

“Ron, it’s beautiful!” she said as she gently lifted it up to examine the charms more closely. “I love it,” she told him sincerely.

“Really?”

“Yes. How’d you find it?”

“Was just walking around and found this shop that drew me in. They have tons of charms, so if you like it I can get you more-” Hermione leaned in and kissed him. When they broke apart, she said, “I’d love to hear why you picked these. I think I can guess at three of them, but the charms of our patronuses have got me stumped.”

Ron chuckled. “I’m surprised you don’t know,” he grinned, earning him a playful smack on his arm. “Well, the book is fairly obvious, I’d say, considering we met at school, and for some barmy reason, you love reading.” He caught her eye roll before he continued.

“But about the patronuses...apparently Jack Russell Terriers were known to chase otters. They’re both quite playful, too, I guess. I don’t know, ever since Fleur told me back when, well...you know, it’s kind of stuck with me.”

“I never knew that,” Hermione said as Ron lost his bravado. “Actually, now that I think about it..”

“What?” Ron asked.

“Otters are in the same family as the weasel,” she said slowly as she looked up at him.

“It’s probably just a coincidence..” Ron reasoned.

“Maybe…” Hermione said, playing with the charms. “I love the heart with the rose engravings on it, but why the seashell?”

“Reminded me of Shell Cottage. I realized quite a bit when I stayed there the first time, and I feel like things started to change between us after Malfoy Manor.”

Hermione nodded slowly at his words. “These are all very clever, Ron. I love that it tells different parts of our story.”

“Me too.” Ron reached up to help Hermione clasp it around her non-dominant wrist.

He watched as Hermione put the discarded contents back in the bag and placed them on her bedside table. “I hope you know when you least expect it, I’ll return the favor, once I figure out the perfect gift for you.” She settled back into his side.

“This is enough for me,” he told her.

“Doesn’t mean you don’t deserve something extra, too, though,” Hermione chided. He chuckled at her words before they lay there in comfortable silence. “I missed you, today.”

“It was less than twelve hours,” he said, not sure why he was instigating the banter.

“So you didn’t miss me at all?” she asked, pouting her lip in mock sadness.

He wanted to laugh at the sight, but he found his body leaning into hers. With her lip puffed out like that, Ron felt the sudden urge give it a playful bite as he snogged her. “Of course I missed you,” he murmured against her lips.

Hermione adjusted herself so that she was on top of him now as she tilted her head and whispered in his ear, “I wouldn’t be opposed to you showing me how much you missed me...if that’s what you wanted.”

Ron didn’t wait a second longer to adhere to her request. Now that he knew their time alone in Australia had an end in sight, he was eager to make the most of this time with her. Merlin knew that once they returned to the Burrow, privacy would become a hot commodity again.

#ROMIONE #hp australia #ron x hermione #not ace safe #tw: sex

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shadyjumpintady · 3 years

Text

shady’s intro!(Pinned post)

I’m finally gonna do my introduction post lol-(REDID SOME THINGS.)

Name:Shady

Age:15 (I’m a minor, clearly no nsfw here.)

Pronouns:they/them, it/itself

questioning gender again..

Some information about me, I do indeed draw like as seen on other posts before this one. But I must warn y’all, I do indeed post gore/angst sometimes so be aware of that. I’m also a huge fan of cookie run, murder drones, slime rancher, godzilla, and tons of roblox games lol- I also know wii deleted you, avatar( legend of korra, the last airbender) and beastars( plus brand new animal!) wolves may be my favorite animal but I am actually a cat person, no I won’t elaborate. Ah, I also like Pokémon. There’s a lot of different things I’m interested in ackk-

I don’t mind people sharing opinions, just please be respectful of mine. BUT. People I don’t want interacting with my page are

P&d0ph!les/prosh!tter$. (Sorry if censorship is too heavy/much)

Z00ph!l&$

If you are any of those, get off my page or block me immediately. Don’t even bother trying to argue with me I’m ready to throw online hands.

I also do not tolerate sexism, homophobia or racism on my blog. Everyone is welcomed here as long as they aren’t on the DNI list, I also apologize if I censor things to much, I’d like to keep this blog safe and avoid making anyone uncomfortable in any ways.

My only side blog at the moment is

(deleted golden cheese ask blog. Too much old art 4 me to handle💔)

Other social medias.

Twitter-(Mayonnaise on an escalator) @ shady_tady

Roblox- Sugardinoyaboi (unimportant old alt is: warriorcatscallclans )

Discord- ask for this one.

I also got ponytown but that account is connected to my discord.

FOR ANYONE WHO WISHES TO BE MUTUALS/FRIENDS!! Please keep in mind that in private/outside of public online spaces (dms, private servers, etc). I can act odd with my humor (mainly containing mature/violent topics), please let me know if anything I do or say makes you uncomfortable!! I will try to avoid doing it again when interacting(I apologize if slip-ups happen.)

That’s all! Check out the tags I will be using in the tag section, enjoy your time here! Feel free to ask any questions about me. My asks are always open!

#tag time.#shady’s intro #shady does art #shady rambles #shady rants #I tend to also add funny tags like “ur mom”#fandom tags listed on art posts!#GENDER UPDATE

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sword-of-summer · 3 years

Note

All of them answer every question fuck you

ahahaha no i respectfully deny your "fuck you" and i accept the ask and so-

i am 5'10", and i don't wish to be taller or shorter- i am the perfect height for hugs and messy hair, and yep, i like it here-

dream pet would be a mix of golden retriver and a husky called Holly and a chonky cat called Loki- yes ofcourse my future kids have names everyone should name their future pets-

ripped jeans/black pants with a Darth Vader tshirt or a Ethnic Fusion Kurta with black sneakers/artificial leather slip-ons, and if it's cold, a black jacket open obviously- and a black wristwatch i love my black wristwatch.

favourite video game was Clash of Clans and going even back, GTA Vice City and, the og- MARIIOOOO

three things/people are Oreos, Nutella and Pizza. The Holy Trinity-

"Beware me my fingers are smeared with chicken popcorn grease"

you didn't mention an opinion, @chunkybirb, so imma give my opinion on Vanilla ice cream and Nutella- ANYONE WHO HADN'T COMBINED THESE TWO COMBINE THESE TWO THEY ARE FUCKING AWESOME

im either phlegmatic or melancholic bruh idk maybe ik or maybe not

im v v v v ticklish

not an allergy, but an intense hatred for ketchup- i vomit if it gets too close to me fuck you ketchup

im heterosexual

any between tea and coffee but full milk coffee (ik, kill me), never had cocoa- but i love a chocolate or nutella milkshake

both. both is good. (cat and dog)

i would be an elf cause hell yeah, knowledge and wisdom

favourite youtuber is Samay Raina, a stand up comedian turned youtuber who is just awesome-

as i mentioned in 1., i am 5'10"

i would not change my name cause it's the coolest fucking name ever, i am Tanay, and Tanay in Hindi means Son, and my parents literally named their son Son, and hell yeah i like it

i forgot how much i weigh- last i checked it was 75 kilos, but ive gained weight since 2019 so yep, gotta walk in the mornings

yes i believe in metaphysicality cause one- it seems cool- second- me and @theclassyghost discussed a metaphysical life theory that i really really like and metaphysicality gives preservation of knowledge so i believe in spirits

SPACE. SPACE. SPACE.

im not that religious, no

pet peeves no well nah not really

nocturnal def nocturnal i sleep at 4.50 anyway hehehehe

fav constellation is Cassiopeia

fav star is Sirius tho

what the fuck are ball jointed dolls

i do have a fear of losing people that's just anxiety i guess

yep, global warming is real

never thought that much about reincarnation tbh but maybe, i do

fav movie is Spider Man : Into The SpiderVerse and Inception and The Dark Knight Rises and Revenge of The Sith and yes, for my indian gang, 3 Idiots and Gully Boy

yep i get scared v v v easily

i have had no pets but i plan to once i grow up

@chunkybirb 's blog is fucking cool awesome and *chef's kiss* a masterpiece

blue calms me. i love blue.

live in Norway cause pretty lights, snow, and less people than this overpopulated country i am in

born in Mumbai, India

v v v dark brown like it's almost black but no it's dark brown

introvert

horoscopes and zodiacs, i do read them, never believed that much tbh-

HUGS I LOVE HUGS

i really wanna visit my brother i haven't met him in a long time i really wanna play cricket w him just like old times

my sister- she's annoying but well i care for her

nah

tattoos idk bruh im okay idk may get one or may not get one

nope, smoking is ewwww *vomits*

ah my crush- she's cool [ if she exists

when the chalk doesn't write on the board but goes iiiiiieeee I HATE THAT

a sound i love is rain pitter pattering i just hhhhhh sends me into happiness

nope fatass here

favourite actors have to be eddie redmayne, oscar issac and pedro pascal- and margot robbie and winona ryder in the actresses section also yes, elliot page

bruh already answered in 30.

im okayish!! spotify and tumblr, cool combo-

my hair are okay being black for me

yesterday, monday, from 6.40 to 6.50

music

uhhh naah not that i know of

well in Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase books, the sword of Frey aka Sumarbrander TALKS and demands to be called Jack, so here i am

bakwaas, music and comfy

yep, i believe in evolution

unfollow on hate and when they dm me sending nsfw pics ugh why are people like that

follow, well, i like people and they seem cool, so i follow them

fav kind of person is the one who'll sit with me for hours not even talking and just vibing to music

fav animals are beavers, doggos and cats

three fav blogs are @chunkybirb, @theclassyghost, @little-boats-on-a-lake, @aredhel-of-gondolin, @sue-me-imbadass, @alleenkaas, @my-ackerman, @brrrrrrrrrrzone

fav emoticon has to be ☹ this me seeing my stupidity outrank others

fav meme has to be Butternut is a master of psychological manipulation

INTP

Libraaa let's go

no dog, i have

black darth vader tshirt, black pants, black sneakers and black wrist watch

i have no selfies my phone has no cameras i live in eternal darkness

what the fuck are platform shoes

i, uhhh, i remember weird things like what i drew in class in 3rd while i was supposed to be doing english

lazy ass here, no front flips possible

i like birds they fly

nope i don't Iike swimming i like blankets

wrapped up in blankets reading books sounds better than both

ketchup

hyperspace travel

nope none

reading writing eating sleeping

my friend

tumblr seems cool

i have around 60-70 idk

yes i can run but why

yes they do but what's the fun in that

nope I'd fall over

sapphire let's go

koala bear or panda

sunflower or the one on a lemon tree

ketchup store

one cup of coffee is enough, tysm

read minds that sounds cool cool yeaaahh

nope never wore it a black clothes guy here BatMan

winter winter all year long

i don't know and i don't wanna try

i don't know and i don't wanna know

everyone cause they are better than me

bookstores cause bookstores any bookstores

sneakers, black onez

apparently some gas bitches mixed up to form a planet

non vegetarian but i partake meat just twice or thrice in two weeks

i don't know they don't seem like liking

naaaaaaaah

bugs ew

spiders ew

about the fact that i come off as arrogant and overconfident while in reality it's just that my communication skills suck

i can draw averagely whenever im in a mood

this thing im answering but i like answering it

uhhhhhhh brain freeze- idk bruh questions are good they give knowledge

yep, while sleeping

ahh yes calming, they are

cloudy days cause fucking cool vibes

hehehe wouldn't you like to know, weatherboy

CumuloNimbus i really like it's name yknow nimBUS

dark blue, dark blue always or black

naaaah no freckles

fav thing is when they laugh and it's just happy and we're both laughing like shitheads but who cares we're rebelling against depressing life and we laugh

both. both is good [ fruits and vegetables

sleep but i have to answer 170 questions cause @chunkybirb

sky sky sky it's my blog's header duh uh sKy

sweet and sour candy. SWEET AND SOUR CANDY.

dim lights it makes me feel cool

ahhh so here we go- Mooncalfs, Thunderbirds, Phoenixes, Sphinxes, Dragons that seem to be Space Nebulae, and more and more and more

i really feel like a boomer sometimes

i love everything about this site/app it makes me feel happy cause i like the people and the posts

uhhhhh i think too much about everything cause i just do. i like thinking

"He's dead, guys. For the sake of The Force, please watch Star Wars now he wanted to discuss it with you" actually no i would just say "A big shoutout to Garlic Bread he loved Garlic Bread"

myself cause i should be sleeping but sleep is for the weak and i am the weak and the strong i am a paradox-

that i obsess too much on things and try involving people it never works out

nope. had braces for 4 years, that beat out teeth showing smiles

i prefer computer-tv ahahahahaha

never tried them, so IDK

naaaaah not motion sickness- never travelled by sea so idk seasickness

lobed ears

yep i believe that deeds do count in life and beyond

idk bruh i don't believe in physical attraction too much- bodies are fake- mentally/metaphysically tho, im a 7

ahhhhh many many Stupid Genius, Tani, Tanu, Tanya

i still do-

i really want to talk to a therapist. converse. and discover.

im both, i am both.

10:1 is the ratio- giving 10, receiving 1

uhhh nothing just when i am right and people use the old "disrespect" argument

3, Hindi, Marathi, English

girls

uhh no i am not

my hair i love them everyone says things about my hair but i love them

knowledge vibes i give, someone tells me- and that's all i ever wanted

anyone i know tbh, my mutuals, my friends, my discord friends

ahhh no i wouldn't but i wish i was born 20 years earlier

bleh bloo, neither like nor dislike

i don't know if i have one

i don't know, haven't had physical contact in a long long long time in a galaxy far far away

the above point stands but i would like to ig

anything i write, 3 hours later, i instantly hate just idk why

anything i write

that i am normal no i am not and i am not okay hahahahaha

65-70 ish people

somewhere around-

many many many don't ask please but okay if you do ask

somewhat

uhhhhh idr exactly but i won't tell in public duh uh

mediummm hairrrr

last year lockdown i became harry potter

i don't know buddy i seriously don't know

yep i do cause knowledge i like knowledge

naaah never tried

no i definitely cannot stand on my hands or my head for more than 30 seconds

yep, im pretty sure i answered most of them correctly-

og link-

#personal #ask #tumblr

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rayadraws · 5 years

Note

end of an era

Oh my gosh anon, our waiting is OVER. Patiently, not so patiently yearning… wishing… hoping… dreaming… we have IT.

I gotta talk about it, because of course I do, ahhh! This will be long, sorry…

I got my hands on the OVA this morning, about half an hour before work. I watched it, yelled on Discord and then went to work, practically vibrating the whole day until I could go home and watch it again and write down my thoughts!

Before release I had seen what available video clips and screenshots we had, plus a summary given to me by a Japanese mutual, in somewhat limited English. I was unsure what to expect but I ended up enjoying it a lot more than I thought I might! I understand that there’s a lot one can be confused or perhaps even put off by in the OVA but. Well. I enjoy seeing a vulnerable Genos (if like 90 % of the fanfic I’ve written wasn’t an indication lol) so I just ate it all UP. And since I’ve written a fic about him getting amnesia specifically, I was very curious to see how off the mark I was.

I won’t give a proper summary, there’s a good one by Nysh for that. Nor the animation. JC Staff is what JC Staff is. I’m instead going to just… muse and compare and go wild with my own personal headcanons - in that regard, this OVA was excellent, because it does give some hints about what makes Genos tick. Hold on to your butts…

Oh, and need I say that there will be SPOILERS? XD

—

Before I wrote my own amnesia fic, I did some research. So, what is amnesia? Well, the popular TV show version is one thing, of course RL is another. There are several kinds of amnesia, with different causes and different treatments. But the two main categories are longterm memory loss, where you can’t recall past memories (often up to what caused the amnesia) and short term memory loss, where you have difficulty forming new memories. You can get one or both. In my fic, Genos deals with both. In the OVA, he appears to have longterm memory loss only, as he tries to find Fubuki again to help him defeat the monster (if only he knew Saitama would by far have been a better choice!), so he remembers her. Not to mention at the end, when he’s trying desperately to apologize…

There is no instant cure for amnesia. Emotional support is important, medication (if it’s caused by underlying disease, which it can be) and psychological therapy can also be useful. Saitama is doing the right thing in the OVA by remaining calm and trying to avoid agitating Genos or pushing him to remember.

After he first wakes up, Genos is very lost, he only remembers his name and that he’s a cyborg - but not why! It’s really heartbreaking when you think a little more about it - imagine waking up in a cyborg body and not remembering why/how that happened… We actually discussed that on Discord before we had the OVA, what if he wakes up and doesn’t remember… but nahh, that’d be too dark, right? APPARENTLY NOT.

I can’t explain why Genos would be so heavily influenced by media around him as he is. That’s just made up for the humour… but if I were to try to find an actual in-world explanation, hm… Well, we do know he can be a Drama Boy. We also know he tends to be very standoffish and reserved towards most people, which I think is related to his trauma, in a few ways (he doesn’t want to get close to people due to the risk of once again experiencing the pain of losing them - and spending four years more or less on your own during your late teenage years is not an ideal environment for learning how to socialize…). We also know that when Genos finds something or someone he considers important, he latches on. So you could see it as being part of that, perhaps. Lost and confused he looks for anything that would make some kind of sense, trying to find a sense of direction or idea on whom he might be.

What exactly did you forget? Your quest for revenge or the sale you briefly remember later? Knowing Genos, it could be either…

He reacts in confusion to his body telling him that there’s an elevated energy signature nearby - I LOVED this. I wonder if he saw it as a note on his HUD, or if it’s more ingrained, more subtle. The way he got antsy and couldn’t sit still… it’s like his proximity sensors act as an extra sense, like Spiderman’s spider sense…. An extra sense that’s probably saved his life on more than one occasion.

He takes off, feeling like it’s his body moving, not him. I don’t think his body has an separate will of its own, but I have always hc:ed that he probably has systems that can calculate stuff for him mid-fight - how to move, where to release his weapons and at what strength etc. A little helpful internal computer. It’s a LOT for one little monkey brain to keep track of, so it wouldn’t be crazy to think he has some help with that, I think. And here, I don’t think his body is truly moving on his own without him having any control of it… more like muscle memory? Like there are times where I think I’ve forgotten a password to my work computer if I’ve been away for a week but then I sit down and my fingers remember the typing motions on their own. I imagine it’s something like that. He doesn’t know what to do, so he’s going where his instincts tell him.

Fubuki, ah, ever the scheming one. I enjoyed her showing up and being casual at Sai’s place because that’s how I like to write her in my fics. You can see the exact second when she goes into Business Mode, playing hard to get to lure Genos closer. Too bad she didn’t consider just how much his personality changed too, came on way too strong in the end…

And!!! A couple of times Genos puts his hand in defense, without seeminly knowing why, or doing it intentionally really. Hmmmm where…. have I seen this before…

He jumped when a warning flashed at the corner of his vision. It was his proximity sensors going off, his HUD informed him. On instinct, he ducked down behind the nearest tree. He should go back. Kuseno would keep him safe. But if he moved, the stranger might see him too. Don’t turn your back on an enemy.

His sensors told him the direction and the general size of the approaching being, but he couldn’t actually see it between the tall trees. It was moving very fast. He ducked lower, ferns brushing softly against his cheek. On instinct, he held his palm out in front of him, open and pointed at whatever was approaching him.

I am SO glad that I called this in my fic, it’s a small detail but it adds a lot I think! Raising his palm as a threat is second nature to Genos, even when he doesn’t consciously know why he’s doing it…

It’s interesting that throughout, Genos keeps referring to himself as “boku”, which is usually reserved for a male who is younger than 16 (though there are exceptions - Amai Mask also uses it, probably as part of his charming idol persona). Usually Genos refers to himself as “ore”, which is mostly used by adult men, more informal and can be viewed as disrespectful, depending on circumstance (Genos is not typically respectful towards people, if they are not Kuseno or Saitama). Combined with how meek he is, man… Okay, ONE said that before the mad cyborg attack, Genos’ personality was about the same as it is now. So why is he so different? Well… I don’t think that’s too shocking, really. I mean, if you lost all your memories and sense of self, realized you were a cyborg for some reason???, ended up alone in a weird city, not knowing where you were or what to do, and suddenly people pointed at you asking you to fight a terrifying monster even though you have no idea how to fight… you’d probably be terrified too! I think we can assume his personality change is caused by his amnesia. But we can probably also assume that a Genos who never had his village attacked and never got involved with fighting/being a hero would not grow to be exactly the same as canon, anyway. He’d probably be a rude brat… but yeah. At least a few degrees less aggressive/ready to throw down!

Again with the hand!

A thought I had reading the exchange between the monster and Genos… it reads almost like how you might expect Genos’ meeting with the mad cyborg might have looked like, only in a sad, reverse kind of way. These lines - “I’m not ready yet… I’m not ready to die here… not yet!” - like, dude… that sounds exactly what might have gone through his head back then. Maybe the first inkling of his past returning to him at that second…

He feels something, remembers something, is shocked.. and it comes back… “I cannot win like this!”. And then he remembers Kuseno, and Saitama…

Once more, those lines together: “I’m not ready yet… I’m not ready to die here… not yet! I cannot win like this!”

We’ll probably never get it verified, but I find it very, very likely he used more or less these exact words, or something very similar, after meeting the mad cyborg.

Also, as much as I appreciate the closeness between Genos and Saitama, I AM glad that he remembered Kuseno first - he’s known Kuseno for four years, Saitama for less than 2 months, when this takes place. It’s only right and it fits very well with his character introduction too, where he thought he was dying and his last thought was an apology to Kuseno. A nice nod. I enjoyed that animation sequence a lot too!

When he remembers who he is, Genos feels so bad about his actions but he still can’t deny what he said before… Saitama’s face… omg… Bless them both.He brings Saitama wild/game meat - d'ya figure he bought it or, um… got it for free? I mean, that’s… exactly the kind of creature he fought… maybe he’s learnt Sensei’s ways…

And Saitama is happy he’s back. He cares about Genos! He likes him like he is, as intense and blunt and socially awkward as he is! What a sweet note to end the OVA on!

#opm s2 #ova 3 #anime spoilers #ova spoilers #amnesia #ahhhhAAAAAHHH

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lyraxlestrange · 6 years

Text

HOW THE MUN RUNS THEIR BLOG .

SPEED.

My speed is dependant on my muse, emotional state and what’s going on in my life. Generally I’m rather quick at replying, given that I’m awake and I used to reply within 24 hours but now I’ve slowed down significantly. This is mainly because my Lucius blog @alwaysconquer has gained a lot more traction than Lyra and it’s just a lot harder to generate muse for him. If you want to write with Lyra I can guarantee my replies will almost be instant. Either way my phone is constantly on me so I’m always open to IM’s.

REPLIES.

I tend to post replies after I finish writing them, if I’m particularly feeling a thread I may spam the dash (sorry, not sorry). I have at times queued things, particularly if I’m overwhelmed with the amount of replies I owe just to stagger the replies I’ll get in turn. I also don’t mind running multiple threads with a person, like if you’re feeling something and I’m feeling something I am down.

When it comes to length it’s honestly partner dependant, though I do try to match length. I don’t format my posts really, only when it comes to quoting just so you can keep better track of the context. I try to avoid short replies as best as I can purely cause I feel like it doesn’t give enough for my partner to work with but sometimes it’s hard to bullshit a few paragraphs to fluff it out.

I don’t like icons, I don’t mind if a partner uses them, just don’t expect me to.

STARTERS.

Most of the starters I write are plotted. I don’t usually bother with open starters just because I’m lazy and I don’t want to invest time in one and get nothing back. I totally will respond to open starters though. If you’re writing me a starter I’d rather you give me a heads up just so I know to expect it and maybe a rough plot so I can tell you if I’m down rather than to leave you hanging if I just don’t feel it.

INBOX.

If we’re mutuals feel free to hit up my ask or IM’s. If you’re not then I’m still open but I reserve the right to reject your ideas, I don’t want to ever offend you and I’m very conscious of that, I just don’t want to commit to something I don’t love.

I’m generally an anxious person so I’m reluctant to reach out a lot of the time out of fear of rejection lmao. I don’t like RPing in the chat but I don’t mind doing some RP on discord if you feel it’ll get too spammy or NSFW.

SELECTIVITY.

As time has progressed I’ve certainly become more selective. If I follow you I’m usually interested in RPing. Every so often I check new follows and I’ll follow back if I feel like we could potentially RP together. I don’t want to completely exclude people that I don’t follow, I’m willing to give them a chance but I’m also going to be honest and tell you if I don’t feel a plot because the last thing I want is to feel obligated to write something and subsequently kill my muse for other threads. I did endeavour to never drop a thread but I have just because I can’t stand looking at my drafts being full after a time and it just whittles my muse away.

WISHLIST.

Ah, this is a hard question. I generally don’t have any fully fledged ideas but if I’m messaging someone sometimes a plot just comes to mind and life.

When it comes to Lyra I’d love more shipping. I just want more romantic/sexual interactions with her, she doesn’t get a lot of love. I’d also love to just explore her main verse more. There’s a lot of potential for threads when it comes to how she was at school as well as when she teaches at Hogwarts then during second war and post war so I’m always open to adapting and writing with more people. I’d also love more family members for her to interact with.

When it comes to Lucius I’m pretty satisfied with the threads I have going. I feel like he gets a lot of attention, my only problem is that I have lower muse for him than Lyra and I struggle a lot when it comes to familial relationships or relationships that require a lot of thinking (ie. time travel and ministry based things idk how to bullshit that stuff). I’m a lot more comfortable with shipping with him (as I headcanon him to pretty much be a massive slut) than writing family interactions but I’m still open to it, it just has to be interesting and engaging to me.

TAGGED BY : @pureblooded-outcast & @broodingswan TAGGING : Anyone who wants to do this <3 too lazy to tag

#meme response #ooc #mun

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thnxrick · 6 years

Text

❍ ─ hey dudes !! i feel pretty hype to be here. i’ve been rewatching gg for the past three weeks and pretty much neglecting my creative side/avoiding all of my writing friends. i was rping in another fandom on discord and i just started to lose inspo, y’know that flame was starting to blow out. on a whim i decided to check out the rp tag on tumblr again ( i haven’t rped on tumblr since 2016 btw ), and whaddya know, the second post i see is from a gossip girl rp. ─ could’ve been a coincidence, could’ve been a sign ?? idk. point is that i’m here !! and i’m really hoping to fall in love w/ writing again.

ok, lemme introduce you to a boi i made up 48hrs ago.

A LITTLE MORE OOC

// so um, FUNNY STORY, when i joined i was planning to fill up a connection from another roleplayer here as their brother, but they were gone as soon as i was i accepted looooool. so now i lack a sibling and i took their last name. ah well, gotta make due with what you’ve got i guess.

// that being the case, it sort of inspired me to make a VERY convoluted family tree for him. i’ll touch some bases, but i’ll probably make other posts getting more into it i suppose.

// just to be clear, i’m going to keep it canon that he has a sister named olivia, i was straight up coming up with a lot of relationship HC’s before approaching the mun, and some where based around that character’s profession. i like what i came up with so i’m planning to keep it that way.

// let’s just say olivia isn’t on gossip girl’s radar. ─like a jenny humphrey from season one lmao.

THE SKELETON

.･:*:･ﾟ’ twenty one, cismale, roderick bordeaux was made in the upper east side and attended st. jude’s. he still resides in new york, and is currently a model who progressively grown weary of his profession. they are staying up til’ 4am laughing at memes, mischievous looks, suggestive stature, eccentric humor, silk tuxedos. onlookers say they resemble shawn mendes. ( al, 19, idc, cst. )

FROM THE BEGINNING

roderick grew up with two older siblings and two very wealthy parents.

his family is very popular in the social scene of manhattan, we’re talking generations on both sides of their family.

they’ve always kept up appearances and have made bountiful donations to noble and not so noble causes.

his father ( lawrence ) is exemplary businessman and his mother ( keighley ) is a retired actress who’s found her life as a socialite a “profession” on its own.

his relationship with his parents had its moments of toxicity and neglect but overall he’s never been resentful towards them as he realized the privileged life they handed to him and his siblings.

rick has always had a penchant for doing stupid things and getting away with it. he gets bored easily !! but to be clear his intentions are usually positive. his parents barely know of his ventures, they’re not very interested in GG to keep up with it either. he is the youngest─ he gets off the hook a little easier than his siblings do. you bet your ass they envy that.

he’s always been academically inclined, but school was never really his priority. he spent most of his time at constance with his friends. he’s a social butterfly at heart, and he wasn’t one to stick to cliques. basically getting along with almost anyone. always open to making more connections with people. doesn’t mean he lacked his fair share of enemies.

up until then he was unaware of any other type of life. party, fun, drama and the occasional responsibility. things took a bit of a turn after high school though.

BEFORE THE FALL

first of all, his ex-girlfriend’s-mother married into his family. holidays already came with the uncomfortable “greeting family you haven’t seen for months to years on end” how the hell are you supposed go about it─ “oh hey we’ve rubbed genitals together, we’ve hated each other for a while and now we’re cousins, want a turkey leg” ??

second, his father wanted college, roderick didn’t, but obliged after his father threatened to freeze his accounts.

for three years, he attended harvard, likely due to his parents connections i might add─ he almost claimed the title of a lit major, but in retribution for a new revelation about his parents, he quit.

WHAT GG DOESN’T KNOW....YET

in his third year of college rick picked up a course in theater, dance and media, partially due to the crush he had on another student. during his attendance he met a classmate who he quickly befriended. one evening she invited him to her birthday party, and to say it changed his world would be an understatement.

after spending more time with her and her family, he felt strangely attached to them, he desired the type of relationship she had with her parents. and soon enough the universe offered him a truth that could make that a reality.

turns out his parents weren’t really his parents. rick was involved in a tangled plan filled with lies and deception. ─his close friend from college ?? was his sister.

this was a lot to take in for rick, he had an entire genealogy that he didn't know about, and they were seemingly everything he wanted in a family. of course this was conflicting. he loved the people he grew up with unconditionally, but his loyalty wavered the more the truth was uncovered.

A GENERATIONAL FEUD

his “parents” didn’t even want him, they were blackmailed by his biological grandmother ( thalia ) to keep him away from his biological parents. his grandmother disapproved of his biological father ( lloyd ) and wanted nothing to do with him or his family.

her distaste was unwarranted however, completely biased. her issues were purely against his mother ( harlow ). they have toxic history together, and share a hatred for each other. so much so that they put aside their disagreements to work together. there was no way in hell harlow would share her surname and it’s perks with thalia’s offspring. and thalia wasn’t planning to have a familial tie with harlow.

harlow promised to take away lloyd’s life of luxury if he married rick’s mother ( rowan ).

thalia called for some favors owed, and successfully managed to manipulate rowan and set her grandson up for “adoption”.

unfortunately for the high class devil’s their game only played out for a few months, lloyd and rowan loved each other too much to let go. the loss of a child and the loss of luxury wasn’t enough to keep them apart.

they eloped against their parents wishes, and lost everything. by their early twenties, they were no longer royalty of manhattan, they were “nobody’s”. practically disowned. if it meant they cut ties with their sadistic families, it was fine by them.

rick’s biological parents searched for him, for years, they almost divorced as a ploy to get information from their parents, but it lead them to more questions than answers. it was eventually a mutual decision to end their search, the pain was too overwhelming to continue.

call it fate, who would’ve thought the search would end with academic career and their daughter.

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

understandably, rick was extremely upset with his “parents” and ultimately detached himself from them.

he quit school, and disconnected himself from most of his friends for a while. it was necessary to go over his options alone. and soon enough he planned an intervention. in four months time, he planned to expose his parents in public at an uptown charity event honoring them.

he told four of his closest friends about his strategy requesting for a helping hand, and they willingly accommodated him.

all except for one. one of the four ratted him out before he could pull it off. and his “grandmother” ( genevieve ) was informed and immediately warned thalia and harlow of the proposition.

they took matters into their own hands, and made things very personal. suddenly grandma genevieve wasn’t as sweet as she had been.

rick’s ex-girlfriend-now-cousin was instructed to seduce and drug him in his loft, if she failed to follow through, her mother would suffer the consequences.

with much hesitation she compelled. and on an odd night out she convinced him to catch up, and eventually got him drunk enough to have him pass out on his couch. she called their grandmother right after and waited 10 to 15 minutes for a sign to leave. there were a few stern knocks on the door by two men in very posh tuxedos, she was conclusively excused by their entrance.

THE SECRET GOSSIP GIRL KNOWS

his cousin-ex-lover left his loft around booty call hour. lacking a walk of shame... but stamped with a very guilty face.

off schedule─ his housekeeper arrived to his loft a bit earlier than usual, having much to do that day. her extended family was coming in from out of town for a familial celebration. and we all know how important family is, don’t we?

she suspected rick was working early as well, and went down the list of her duties. her first priority was his restroom, as he generally left wet towels on the ground after his morning showers. however the only elements she found were scattered pills and emptied bottles on his bathroom floor, along with rick... in a bathtub filled with water looking a little too pale.

with a disheveled 911 phone call, she preformed crucial CPR, and an ambulance shortly arrived─ rick was sent to the hospital to have his stomach pumped, and the bordeaux’s made a private entrance, feeling troubled with emotions of guilt and regret.

in recovery rick denies the suicidal accusations but was sequentially sent to a rehabilitation center against his will.

he spent his summer in connecticut, and his family lied to keep press away from their charity event. to what the public knows, rick pursued his modeling career further and traveled through europe for the summer.

AT A CROSSROADS

all forms of communication were taken away from rick, and he spent most of his time at rehab trying to reach out by bribing his nurses.

one of his nurses fell into his bribe and let him make contact with his cousin. out of fear she confessed and delivered his SOS to their grandmother.

sooner or later, his grandma showed up─ grandma.. thalia. to most and to gossip girl? a stranger.

she proposed a settlement with roderick, he was to forget about his biological family and continue mingling in his social circle as if nothing ever happened for exchange of his freedom and his family’s freedom.

he begrudgingly agreed to it, and flew back to new york with built up resentment and a thirst for retaliation.

he’s back home now, as if nothing ever happened. last he heard his biological family tried to invite him to their halloween feast. but no word after that.

as of now, his course of action is to figure out what “bestie” ratted him out. what did thalia, harlow or even genevieve have on them. and what could he do about it ??

if all attempts fail, we still have gossip girl.

LMAO MORE OOC

ok ok ok ok ok, ik it’s a lot of shit to read. i’m sorry but not really, i enjoyed myself waaaay too much to truly feel guilty about it. SO idk if you’ve noticed but, i took a lotta of inspiration from the show since i just finished the series again. ─i figured rick is a dumbass but he doesn't lack that much morality to do something awful without warrant. I’LL BE SHOOK IF YOU REALLY READ THROUGH ALL OF THIS BUT HEY IF YOU WANNA PLOT W/ ME PLEASE DO. i have a connections page that has to do with normal connections and it also has connections related to everything you’ve read here !! feel free to im/dm me at anytime, or like this so ik you’re interested in plotting w/ me, i don’t mind hitting you up. OKAY, MUCH LOVE EVERYONE.

#xointro #⇝ ─ ooc. ─ ⇜#( FUUUUUCK IT'S LONG )#( I'M SORRY )#( i tried to keep it short )#( bUT I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF )#( tw; mentions of suicide )#( tw; mentions of drugs )

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team-jpde · 6 years

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JPDE's 2nd Birthday - The Birth, the End and the Break

Hello, thar, Meinos Kaen here… And today is JPDE’s 2nd birthday.

By birthday I mean the day I first had the idea for the overall story, thanks to a good long-time friend of mine that on the JPDE Discord server goes by the name of Penny –sic-. I had debated about maybe considering the birthday the release of the first demo, or of Version 1.0 but I thought I’d be completely honest and true with you guys. Also so I can weave you the tale of the game’s origins.

THE BIRTH OF JPDE

I didn’t get into RWBY until after the end of season 3. I was aware of its existence, I had heard about Rooster Teeth but I never got into any of their products. I knew of RvB but I was never into Machinima videos. Achievement Hunter? I prefer playing videogames instead of watching people play them –but I will tune in for good commentary even if I don’t always completely agree with the points made, shoutout to Jim Sterling, Yathzee and TotalBiscuit (rest in peace)-.

The first contact I had with RWBY was actually the Yang VS Tifa Deathbattle, a video with an outcome that even RWBY fans pretty much all agreed was bullshit and immediately made me not interested. I had friends who were fans, though, one of which was Penny. She tried many times to get me interested in RWBY, to the point that I pretty much knew the whole plot before even watching an episode. Still, she never managed to stir the embers of interest.

Until she showed me Penny –the character-. A fan-art of her, then her official sketches, and damn. Penny is still, by far, one of the best character designs I have ever seen in animation. Then she showed me the episode where she appeared and I was hooked. So cute! So freckly! So pure! So OMGGIANTLASERWTF!

Then, after getting me on board… She told me Penny was dead, after I had already gotten to Season 3! THAT CHEATER! So I got moody and eventually turned to my favourite coping mechanism… Imagination.

Hitting ideas off my friend and just shooting the shit about how Penny deserved more friends, maybe her own team, maybe someone who loved her, and a partner. Those talks gave birth to the concepts for David, Evelyn and Jack, and eventually to Team WHIT too.

Those conversations actually turned to a roleplay, but I have always been a writer first and foremost so I thought ‘hey, this could actually make a nice fanfiction’. Been writing fanfiction since I was 14, so the progression was natural.

Then, I remembered something else. I had been experimenting and using RenPy randomly on and off for years but I had never actually put my ass in gear and just made something… Then I realized I wanted to make a Visual Novel out of it. I wanted to make a story where Penny didn’t die and I didn’t just want to write it, I wanted to code it.

I started thinking about making monthly releases of it right off the bat, budgeting certain amounts of money out of my own pocket. That only lasted for a couple months before I opened the Patreon for JPDE and, my god, the support I received has been unbelievable. All for a little fan-game born out of love for a redheaded row-boat. I’m humbled every minute of every day by the all too real support I’ve been getting.

Two years later, JPDE is still going strong and I’ve even managed to start working on original projects of mine. I can’t thank you guys enough for the support you’ve been showing me…

And today, as year two comes to a close, it’s time to discuss year three. It’s time to discuss the road to the end-game.

THE ROAD TO THE VYTAL TOURNAMENT

As you may already know if you've been playing the game, the School Life part of JPDE will end with day 183, which is going to be the weekend of the Vytal Dance, corresponding to the RWBY Vol2 episode Dance Dance Infiltration, and then the events of the Breach of Vale City. On that weekend it's when the end-game starts.

On the weekend of the dance, instead of choosing who to go on a date with, you'll be asked who to bring to the dance out of all the characters you've been on four dates with. Once made, that choice can't be changed, and other than the dance it will influence how certain events will play out in Breach and during the events of the Vytal Festival.

The choices are mutually exclusive, meaning that once you've chosen one character it will be like all the other dates won’t have happened –unless it’s a threesome/moresome route, ahem-. If you choose Silhouette-chan, it will be like you will always only have gone on dates with her. I’ve stated in the past that JPDE’s route dates are like schrodinger’s cat. The dance invitation is like opening the door.

There are however, certain exceptions, which I will refer to as complementary characters. The dates of these characters will still count as having happened even if you choose someone else for the dance and will influence some events during the end-game. So far, those characters are:

Neopolitan

Qrow Branwen

Pyrrha Nikos (Optional)

Cinder Fall

The more dates you get with these characters, the more they will influence the end-game, even if you decide to not bring them to the dance. Also, they will interact with other certain characters’ stories in certain ways if you bring those other certain characters to the dance.

Got all that? Good, because now we come to…

END GAME DEVELOPMENT

Once we hit day 183, I will change how I release content for the game. Since I won’t be able to measure the progress in weeks any longer, I will just release as much as I can manage each month. But there’s also something else that is specific to the ‘date routes’ part: I will only ever work on one character’s end-game at any given time, exception made for the complementary ones.

What does that mean? It means that, when we first hit day 183, I will have a poll asking you to decide which character out of the ones currently at four dates you want me to work on. I will then work on that character’s end-game only until completion, then open another poll to decide which character to work on next.

This, of course, on top of the usual two dates a month and the story progression, provided that we keep a sufficient level of Patreon funding.

IN CONCLUSION

At this rate of releasing and updating, we’re going to reach day 183 probably on JPDE’s third birthday. So you have one year to get as many people as possible up to four dates before the final battle to decide who’s going to get the first end-game focused round of development. That final vote will be PATREON EXCLUSIVE. I repeat, ONLY PATRONS WILL BE ABLE TO VOTE ON THAT POLL AND ANY SUBSEQUENT ONES REGARDING END-GAME CONTENT.

And with that, I now officially declare fourth dates available to be nominated and voted for in New Route Events polls. All other rules, particularly the ones regarding Team RWBY and Team JPDE characters, stay in place.

Papa loves you, papa thanks you and I will talk to you soon. Put a mark on your calendar, prepare, plan, look for allies… Because we’re now entering Year Three of JPDE. And the stakes have never been higher…

- Meinos Kaen

Ah, also...

P.S. - SEPTEMBER BREAK

BunnyVoid, our background artist, has recently suffered a death in the family. ArsonicArtz is going to Japan and Papa is going to France and Poland in September.

Considering these circumstances, there will be a small break in September. Meaning that the September release will only contain the new dates.

#Project JPDE #JPDE #Meinos Kaen #rwby #rwby fandom #rwby fan art #rwby fan game #rwby visual novel #rwby dating sim #dating sim #visual novel #devblog

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tobespecial-a · 6 years

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HIYA FOLKS WELCOME TO MY BLOG HERE. GONNA KEEP THESE AS SIMPLE AS POSSIBLE SO LETS GET TO IT. --- this blog is dash only for now but may change in the near future.

first things first. i am a student in school monday - friday from 1-5pm so expect some slowness on my end. i am studying to be a mental health and addictions worker & am really passionate about the field i am in so i will be obviously prioritizing school & also irl commitments over rp. please respect this & we shall be dandy

now that thats outta the way. HI THERE I AM ES !!!! ( well technically its ESTELLE, but you can call me either or i do not mind !!! ) YOUR LOCAL NON-BINARY GAY ( they / them pls ) who is in fact straight af for a certain gay icon zachary quinto --- i hail from the pst timezone in vancouver canada. fun facts about me. ANYWHO ON WITH THE RULES.

REPLIES

this is not my only blog folks, it will be one of my more active ones, but it is not the only one i run. please be patient in terms of replies. i usually try to stay on top of my game but sometimes i miss shiz. pls poke me after 2 weeks if you are wondering, i may have missed it !! however it is likely in my drafts. PRO TIP THOUGH, i like each reply or starter posted to me, if i didn’t like it there is a 95% chance i did not see it. so please feel free to remind me after the 2 weeks.

also personals do not reblog my threads, ooc posts or anything thats not a reblogged photoset , its annoying, just don’t do it. -- i also have minor case of dyslexia so please be patient with spelling errors. i catch most of them, but sometimes i don’t get them all. if something becomes an issue please tell me.

FOLLOWING AND UNFOLLOWING

i am mutuals only. please keep this in mind. i will only take ooc asks from non mutuals. if i am not at least following you ( cos i know some people who i write with / have written with don’t follow everyone cos they want a clean dash, but they still wanna write ) then please don’t attempt ic interactions. this is your first & final warning. i will ignore attempts & block if it persists.

do not follow & refollow me repeatedly its also annoying & will likely get you blocked. i take a while to follow back sometimes, please be patient. i rarely unfollow so if you see it happen, please poke me. however i have the right to ignore it, or not answer. you have the invitation, i just don’t have to invite you in if i chose to revoke it.

disclaimer i probably will not follow blogs that romantically ship peter/claire. incest normally doesn’t bother me enough to mention it, but this one just really is a big nope for me. sorry in advance.

CHARACTERIZATION

gabriel is based off nbc heroes & my own personal headcanons. at the point of writing this i have seen the first & second season, i am making my way through the rest of the show at present. don’t worry about spoilers though as i pretty much know most of the major plot points for gabriel during the series, just not all the specifics. --- threads will generally take place in aus & content i have seen however, until i have caught up. though idk how big the fandom is so i sense a lot of aus my way any ways lol

*** REGARDING HEROES REBORN

i have no plans to watch it. sylar isn’t even in the show so its really just not required of me to view it. any plot lines transpired in that canon will never be seen in any way on my blog. sylar reforms himself post series & just goes on from there. when i officially make it through the whole show i will write proper headcanons on that.

ACTIVITY

because of school & other blogs i won’t always be around. however i can always be reached by mobile if you need anything, just hmu. thank you for your patience in this regard. also fair warning i do have ADD a low grade form of ADHD so i get a lot of the fun extras that come with it. please respect there are times i may need to step back or times when i become disassociated , its been happening a lot lately so i wanted to inform people so they don’t think i am ignoring them. i promise its not you, its me, i just need space. FOR THE MOST PART, i am usually always around to answer ims & messages so do not be afraid to message me or anything.

SHIPPING

ah yes everyones fave category. if anyone has questions you can always im me or hu my ask box for more deets. GABRIEL IS PANSEXUAL BORDERLINE GRAY ROMANTIC ( hes between demi & gray )

imma start off by saying that i ship syelle as well as petlar. a note about the later, from what i have read & seen i will only really ship them ( petlar ) during / post the wall, which at the time of writing this i still need to view. i would be open to pre show aus to start at this point.

anything else is fair game at this point, just be aware sylar isn’t looking for anything serious really during heroes canon. plus hes not exactly a nice guy so like be warned there. ---- honest to god if your interested in shipping with sylar or gabriel ( yes there is a difference ) pls come @ me. the worst i can do is say no.

i will also state i don’t ship sylaire because well…. shes underage ???? & before you leap down my throat about heroes reborn, most of the content i have seen is her being underage. but i’m not gonna accuse anyone of aging anyone up for a ship, cos there is canon where she is older. i am just not interested. don’t see the appeal, i’ve read way too much meta & just don’t see it.

it is also worth noting that post 3x01 the second coming, sylar can no longer die. he is immortal. save for one weak spot which he aint about to tell anyone where it is.

finally ummmm i’m 22 guys so no lying about your age to smut with me. i will block your ass if you do. don’t make me be the bad guy.

GODMODDING

pls do not god mod my muse. you wanna write him ?? make a blog of your own, or go write some fic. i play three strikes. first time is a reminder, second time is a thread drop third time is a partner all together drop. THESE CAN BE EXERCISED AT MY DISCRETION HOWEVER

also i think its worth mentioning cos some might see this as potential godmodding. sylar is not a nice guy, hes a type of serial killer. he will kill you if it benefits him, or if you piss him off enough. hes not above doing it just to prove a point. he will hurt you if you make angry, might not kill you but he can hurt you if you anger him. so if your muse riles him up enough ?? just be prepared for potential violence, that might follow. --- i will not exercise my muses strength cos you think its funny to have yours poke the hive. -- if you don’t like this, please don’t attempt to write with me. my muse is a villian for most of the show & i won’t be watering him down for you.

OOC VS. IC KNOWLEDGE

at the point i am in the show, the only people who know what sylar looks like are the people that have seen him, furthermore only those who have heard the name know he is even a thing. so its safe to say a lot of normal savillians don’t know him. HELL a lot of the heroes don’t know him either. --- keep this in mind when interacting. if your character has special abilities to know who he is, thats different, but don’t just assume you know who he is or what he does.

FURTHERMORE TO GO OFF A TANGENT i am not gonna be too keen to see a bunch of starters of people begging for their lives. gabriel is a hell of a lot more then just a random serial killer. he is a complex character who has feelings & issues of his own. hes not going to kill just anyone for the sake of it. please bare this in mind. i will likely not reply to those kind of random interactions. --- by all means if you wanna plot something like that i am game for it, but please give me the heads up. i will not reduce my muse to a stereotype killer, cause hes not & thats the tea. he only kills when it benefits him, its not a sport for the hell of it.

TRIGGERING CONTENT

given the nature of my muse there will be some triggering themes on this blog. such as murder, gore, suicide, manipulation. if anyone is bothered by this, please blacklist accordingly. i tag “ insert trigger “ tw. i will not be posting heavy gore on this blog in visuals at least & i ask you tag it if you post it. i’m fine with a bit of blood, but too much makes me a little ill. writing is fine, anything like a photoset with heavy gore needs to be tagged for me, & i myself will not be posting such content.

MAINS & EXCLUSIVES

i will only be doing exclusives for ships & crossover fandoms at this time. if you are interested in being mains lemme know. i do however require previous interaction ic or occ, preferably both. if you wanna be exclusive i ask you return the favour otherwise i drop the exclusivity.

AND I THINK THATS ABOUT IT !! I PROMISE I AM LESS SCARY THEN THESE RULES MAKE ME SEEM, I AM GIANT NERD WHO IS HELLA FRIENDLY & LIKES TO GUSH ABOUT HER FAVES ALWAYS !! MUTUALS MAY ASK FOR DISCORD IF THEY WISH TO TALK THERE

NOW HURRY UP & ATTACK MY INBOX OR IMS OR LIKE A STARTER CALL LETS WRITE !!

#rules !

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alannahaisling · 3 years

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The day I slipped into a Panic and anxiety attack.

This, this is going to be long winded.

I'm just going to come out and say it. No, I don't want sympathy. This is just me using this particular blog for what it was meant for. A space for me to vent, to be my authentic self. To reflect, to just let things spill out from my mind through my fingers and onto the screen on which you may be reading this.

First things first. The Icons I'll be using here are not rp muns, they are simply my emotions on display. My IRL self as displayed by characters I adore from the Teen Titans fandom.

Ooookay lets get down it.

I help moderate a stream, have been doing it for a while. I became fast friends with the streamer and pull long hours. Roughly 4-5 hours per stream, unless I have class the next day.

To my knowledge, nobody ever had an issue with me. Save the odd person here or there, that may have disagreed with me, but at least they would tell me to my face, and I would shrug it off and move on. It was as simple as that.

My friend, who I love to death, has on more than one occasion had to reassure me that I was actually doing a good job. I lost count how many times I asked if I needed to improve, or if there were any rough areas that may need to change.

A good chunk of the time, they would just kinda raise their voice, and be like. "Damnit, you're good. You're fine." and then try to cheer me up with silly cat pictures. My ultimate kryptonite.

This friend of mine has worked with me for a few years now, talking about deep heavy personal stuff. They know I am medically diagnosed with ptsd, social anxiety, and have been dealing with depression for years. So they're not a stranger to my triggers and I love them for respecting when I need to just be alone, or only want some quality time one on one for a few hours. You hear that you knucklehead? Yeah you, I know you at least read this shit.

Moving on.

On friday, we had a.. bad night of it. Not even an hour in, after happily gathering folks who wanted to play the chosen game with us that night, someone. Who I will call 2P, dumped a huge paragraph, attacking my character and personality as a mod, in my friends private discord DMS.

2P for months, had been telling me to my face, that they saw me as a best friend, that anything I ever said and or did would be safe to do. You know the whole, you can trust me bit. I blindly trusted, and hind sight maybe I shouldn't have.

Meanwhile the entire time, I apparently had been talked about behind my back, negatively for a while? I don't know.

So we paused the stream, and go into another server that's locked down to a limited set of people and discuss it. Friend is, PISSED, but is trying to not yell, and asks me what we should do about it.

In my head I'm just reeling. I'm asking my friend, if I'm a bad mod, if I've fucked up somewhere, I'm totally confused. I can't concentrate, and there's this choking hurt in my chest. One I know all too well.

The feeling of dread. The feeling that I messed up, that I'm useless, and a fraud.

My friend is trying hard to make sure I'm okay, by this point they know, this has fucked with my head. In a huge way. 17- going on 18 years of therapy suddenly going down the drain, spiralling out of control.

They Cut the stream short.

I'm exhausted, tired, feeling beaten. I just say a few things to 2P and leave their discord server, kick them from my private one, and from the one I made for my streamer friend for the game we play with other people. In addition, also a possible person who may cause me issues, because 2P's probably been shit talking me for a few months now.

Friend is arguing on my behalf, another mutual and their friend, instantly demands to get in call. We'll call them... Uh.. Fuck, Tataru , and Estinien for sake of ease. Tataru is having none of it, they are witnessing my typed anxieties. They are hearing our mutual friend, trying very hard to not just *yell*.

2P is dropping the nasty paragraph in other dms now, belonging to other regulars. It's escalating pretty fast. I am now a villain, and a victim in one role, and 2P is also playing the role of victim because my dearest friend just told 2P Off.

"2P, isn't getting it!" My friend is saying with a calm anger. "2P is just constantly going on and on about how (my name) is bad for the stream." Or something to that effect. "They don't even fucking realize how fucking hurtful they are being."

"You need to stop responding." Tataru is saying. "Just, tell the mother fucker, NO and block 2P on everything."

I guess 2P is quickly realizing that they are losing the fight, so they come into my dms. Shit forgot to block them there. I think in my head, and I see them trying to bring the argument to me. They tell me, that I'm handling the situation all wrong.

I don't even respond. I'm tired. I'm just done. I'm mentally slipping back to the days I was mentally and emotionally abused, and gaslit.

GASLIT.

GASLIT!

I block 2P. For my mental health.

Estinien with their calming voice, is outlining streamer etiquette rules. 2P is definitely out of line, as a viewer. If we want, Estinien can pretty much hit up a wider streamer network, and have the name of 2P blacklisted from other communities.

By this point, another regular is talking to my friend asking what is going on. Then another. Slowly, I read through logs my friend has dumped into the 4 person private call.

Then I see it.

"I'll just lie through my teeth to her about why I'm leaving or something. Just don't tell (My name) I said any of this. " In regards to the in game guild My friend and I Co Run.

Silently mutter to myself. Not that the others can hear me, my headsets broken. "Ah, the other shoe has dropped. 2P's been lying to me the whole time. I've been gaslit all over again. No wonder I feel like I do."

Estinien and Tataru get sleepy and go to bed. My friend stays up as long as they can as I sort my head out, trying to timeline events. I'm given logs, screen shots. 2P's been blocked. I lock down my twitter for a day. I lose 20 hours sleep.

I spent those 20 hours of no sleep, asking and apologizing to regulars if 2P has ever talked to them about me. Most of them say NO, and reassure me I'm a good mod, that I make the stream warm, fun, welcoming and comfortable for all kinds of people.

A good friend of mine, who I will ironically call Angellica, because we call each other sis, and I view myself as Eliza from Hamilton. Once had told me to be careful with 2P from the start, because they had a bad vibe about them, is PISSED off, and yeets them out of an in game group chat. "Fuck em, 2P's a troll."

I realize, that Angellica literally stood by and chose my happiness. Cause yeah, I thought 2P was someone I could trust. After what happened though, I realized that I had been mistaken and apologized, To Angellica.

Now 2P is going around seeing who still will consider them friends, or are neutral parties. I was made aware of this because one of them, a mature friend actually asked me what 2P was going on about. So I gave them the run down. They were disgusted with 2P's behavior.

Now a days, 2P takes screen shots of anybody on twitter, that has blocked them and smears their names.

2P still doesn't get it.

But I'm moving on from it.

I have screenshots and logs. But I don't ever plan on releasing them publicly.

So yeah, 2P if you ever come across this, and figure out I'm talking about you, I severed ties with you, because friends don't lie to each other, Friends don't talk behind each others backs, they don't force other good close friends to sit on the *truth* of how you feel. Friends can disagree, and can have different opinions.

But You burned your bridges yourself.

I've always had a three strike ruleset.

One: You lied to my face multiple times.

Two: You pretended to be my friend.

Three: You actively gaslit me, and my friend.

Sooo THAT'S why I cut ties with you. Your behavior after that was just you playing the victim, and none of us 30 plus year olds were just going to sit by and let you have your 20 something year old tantrum.

I bare you no ill will, and I doubt any of us are going to even blast you in an open space like twitter releasing the logs or screen shots. I'm just noping out of this parasocial relationship because that's all it was. I refuse to be used, as a way for people to get close to and use my friend as they work on their passions and goals.

Adieu 2P , nothing was lost the day I walked away, except all the work my friend did to get me out of my isolated shell. But you know what? They'll just pull me back out, and support me 100% You'll never break us up.

#Mental health #STORY TIME

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