#All that for wanting to fix my sleep schedule...
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༘⋆。 platonic bonds & dynamics starters.
best friends.
you said you'd always be there. i'm holding you to that.
i'm not leaving you alone with your thoughts!
nobody gets to call you that but me.
do i need to fight someone for you?
we're not just friends. you're my family.
i'm already on my way.
if i die, promise you'll erase my search history.
we should not be allowed unsupervised in public.
combined, we're one whole functioning adult!
i've helped you lie to your parents, friends, & your boss... what's one more?
ex-friends.
i wanted to call you. every time something happened.
how did you just stop caring?
you can't pretend we weren't close.
i miss you. i'm not sorry.
i don't think i can forgive you.
i miss hating the same people together.
do your new friends know the version of you i knew?
you ghosted me. but sure! let's pretend it was mutual!
i still know your favorite song.
i didn't just lose my friend, i lost an entire chapter of my life.
rivals.
this isn't personal. you're just in my way.
why are you so obsessed with beating me?
you think you're better than me? prove it.
you talk a lot for someone who's always second place.
did you rehearse that comeback in the mirror?
do you ever stop talking?
one day, i'm going to beat you.
i don't like you. that doesn't mean i don't respect you.
i didn't come to play fair, i came to win.
you think i'm threatened by you? no, you just motivate me to be better.
roommates.
i swear i didn't eat your leftovers! well, not ALL of them.
i heard everything. these walls are thin.
can you PLEASE clean up after yourself?
wanna watch a movie? i'm making popcorn!
you know we're not friends, right? we just live together.
i think i know your schedule better than mine at this point.
you talk in your sleep.
you can't just adopt a pet without talking to me first!
i'm going to start charging your dates rent.
if we can survive living together, we can survive anything.
if your [ family member ] drops by unannounced one more time...
academic partners.
you forgot the project deadline. again.
this was supposed to be a group effort!
i think we would've crashed and burned without you.
you brought snacks to study group? okay, i think i like you.
we're not friends. stop telling me about your personal life.
you're actually kind of smart, you know?
i'll be the brains, you do the presentation.
we agreed no emotional breakdowns during mid-terms!
i cannot believe i'm depending on you to pass this class.
i need a break so i can scream into my textbook...
do you try to make friends with EVERY person in group projects?
siblings.
you're not my [ mom / dad / parent ]! don't tell me how to live.
i'm allowed to make fun of you. nobody else is.
i know you better than anyone else ever will.
stop trying to fix me!
something bad happened. can i come home?
you're still the favorite, even now.
still trying to live in my shadow, huh?
i'm not jealous of you!
we survived that house, that's gotta count for something.
remember how we used to talk about running away?
#rp meme#rp starters#starter meme#rp prompts#sentence meme#sentence starter meme#sentence starters#this has been sitting in my drafts for almost a full month#there's a lot of romantic ones out there#we need some platonic starters too!
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YUNJIN | 231027 • PERFECT NIGHT @ MUSIC BANK
#huh yunjin#yunjin#le sserafim#femaleidolsedit#femaleidol#femadolsedit#a9gifs#lesserafimnet#lesserafim#flashing tw#*ccarly#i feel like i haven't made a gifset in forever#these r kinda all over the place but she looked soooo pretty#wanted to gif her before i go to bed earlier to fix my sleep schedule </3
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GOOD MORNING

#‧₊˚ 🌸 ‧₊˚ 𐙚 sora speaks#guys the past few days ive finally fixed my sleep schedule PRAISE BEEEEEEEE#.isagi .yoichi would be proud of me. for fixing it#i say like that mf doesn't have mid sleep bc of how badly he wants to play soccer like all the time and is thinking all night
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I feel weird and I don't like it

#i mean. it's that time again. so take all this lightly. i always feel off during this time#i just. my friends. i havent been as active on here and when i am? theyre either slseep or dealing with something themselves.#for example. one friend. he's just trying to figure himself out. but i feel like i cant help? i don't know how to help this time#i can only reassure him. but that doesnt feel right. not this time.#I'll leave him alone for now. maybe that's what he wants? i really don't know#. i need to hey my sleep schedule fixed. then i can talk to everyone again.
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(ooc:
Sol I am so glad you're feeling better but seriously if you need a break, take one.
We love interacting with you but none of us expect you to be constantly on and sacrifice your mental or physical health <3)
-@multianonasker
THANK YOU MULTI :((
dont worry i am trying to be alot more proactive with taking breaks here if i need them (even if i AM pretty stubborn about it, cause i love this silly blog so much </3), but i think im at an okay point again to post a little bit for now !! :D
obviously i still got vacation, but im hoping to post a little bit in between (cause ill be in the car for a good few hours tomarrow </3) when i can, but as much as i like to joke about the tumblr grind i AM trying to get better with slowing down when needed !! o7
i really appreciate this immensely though, i swear the people ive met through this silly little fun blog are the most kindest and caring people EVER

#[ ooc ]#honestly i learned the hard ways to take breaks back whenever i had the cave saga & i had a 22 daily posting streak#and i wanted to keep it up SO BAD but the burnout was so so awful#but IM LEARNING !! not quite perfect but i am learning to stop and slowdown when i need to here !! :3#and honestly fixing my sleep schedule more too </3 (which actually has NOT been that horrible lately >:3)#but again i appreciate everyone so much graaaah your all so nice and i am definitely trying to take better care of myself#while still posting on this silly blog :33
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the state of my mental health tbh
#my art#digital art#deadpool#wade wilson#nathan summers#cablepool#doodle#mfw i go over a week without even looking at my wips bcuz of my sleep schedule cus fo some reason i can't draw during sunlight hours#so if i want to get finish all the shit i want to finish i have to bomb my newly fixed sleep#bcuz my brain thinks its a fucking VAMPIRE or something#so yay me#1 like = 1 adhd medication forthis poor soul
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why am i awake before 9am what is thiiiiis
#i'm actively trying to fix (probably ruin‚ to a lot of people's eyes) my sleep schedule back to how i was most happy and comfortable#and the most productive i've ever been. by like a massive margin#gjve me the hours of 11pm-7am and i can do great things#but i keep waking up at the time that stupid baka job drilled into me :/#i need to pull an actual honest to god 24 hour all nighter after LARP. just a proper unavoidable full reset#i want to be productive again 😭 i want to he able to go the gym again 😭 i want to be able to cook real food again 😭
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Insomnia is letting up off and on, but I'm still super jelly brained from it case in point, I want to continue back with posting WIPs for the aired pages, but I can't remember what page I left off on now lmao (guess I'll have to dig through my blog to check... eesh. at least it's decently organized by tags?) Not a result of goo brain, really, but equally "AUGH" is that I let my screen protector go for too long without replacing it and now it's slick as snot and I don't have a replacement handy to put on it. This isn't a resulting consequence of goo brain but it does mean I'm going to be trying to draw without any traction while I'm already loopy. Good times ahead!
#shut up pu#I"ve had problems with insomnia my whole life so I'm sadly used to this#it comes and it goes#and right now it's in the middle of a big angry come#what do you mean that wording is atrocious??#it gets the point across#ordered a new screen for the draw slab so I've at least been proactive in fixing the problem#the only other problem is I hate drawing on brand new fresh screens too lol bad finger feel#only the middle screen is good for both fingies and pens#anyway the parts of chapter 3 I really love are coming up over the horizon#part of me does wish I would have tweaked the pacing of chapter 3 a little when realizing the usual posting schedule wasn't going to work#after real life delays all butted into production time bc chapter 3 was still paced for the 2 - 3 pages a week schedule#reading it all at once it still carries that pacing but I do feel a bit bad about the way it has felt at once a week#very occasionally twice lol#but I'm just a stickler for pacing so it bothers me personally probably more than it bothers literally anyone#knowing what it's meant to feel like on the proper release schedule vs. the slower release schedule is largely my own problem#and I'm feeling that extra hard right now because I'm having to do prep work for designing and asseting a new set#which saves a huge amount of time in the long run but slows things down in the immediate now#aka: I want to draw characters and story wahhh why am I making set pieces#also hey where the fuck's that stupid fox at he's even in the story synopsis write up where is he#get in the story proper you piece of shit#hello I am sleep deprived and rambling about comic production how are you doing
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I dunno why but I keep thinking abt the way I used to spend my nights two years ago
I remember around 6-7pm (in the autumn/winter) or 7-8pm (in the spring/summer), I'd lock my bedroom door, bring my tablet and headphones up with me onto the roof and play songs that I liked I watched the sun set. The songs were mostly either sapphic-coded (like sofia by clairo, strawberry blonde by chloe moriondo, etc.) or something ambient and soothing to me (like colorful interlude by sublime jupiter or rhubarb/#3 by aphex twin). I don't remember why though..I guess I just liked those types of songs back then xp
sometimes I'd bring my sketchbook with me too and sketch out random things like landscapes or characters from fandoms I was in at the time. Or I'd bring my journal and write about my completely nothing day. Most of the stuff I wrote was about the same but it's still nice to look back at them :3
Was it the safest for 14 year old me to just chill on the roof? Probably not. But tbh I didn't care at the time xD I honestly wouldn't have minded dying there.
I was at like.a reaaaaally low point in my life. Probably at my worst. Like I would cry everyday over little things and I found it extremely difficult to take care of myself. I guesss when I was out there on my roof watching the sun set with nice music in my headphones I actually felt..peace?? for once?? I dunno how to explain but it was suuuper nice I remember ^^ and it was nice to let out good cries up there.
I guess I can't help but remember this fondly and find it kinda nostalgic even though it was only two years ago and when I was not.doing great :'D I'm better nowadays luckily but hadhehdjwd makes me emotional sometimes.
#btw if you're wondering why I don't go up on my roof anymore#it's bcz I had a time where I like.never opened the window to go up there#and now when I open it I see a bunch of cobwebs and it's very dirty#IDK HOW THAT HAPPENED IN THE SPAN OF A FEW MONTHS BUT YK WHAT I'M NOT DOING AS BAD AS WAS 2 YEARS AGO#I DONT NEED THE ROOF THAT BAD BABDHHEBHQHSWH#I also really liked going up there when it rained!#was it the best idea? no#but I did it anyway xD#idk how my tablet and headphones survived considering they aren't waterproof to my knowledge but whateves#I especially loved the rain droplets all over my window#bcz then I could draw some stuff on my window!#it wasn't anything revolutionary obvs. just stick ppl but it was something!#I think I took a picture of one of the drawings but it's on my old tablet :[#maybe I could find it if I charged that tablet and scrolled far enough tho#IDRK WHY I'M WRITING THIS#I just wanted to.put it somewhere ig?? xD#I mean I wasn't planning on taking it to the grave with me and I've never gotten to talk about it so yeahhh#I never napped up there btw#I'm surprised tbh xD#maybe it was the fear of rolling off#speaking of tho I'll probably head to sleep soonnnnn I still need to fix my sleep schedule#~
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nvm guys I thought I wouldn't do this but I guess it's time to watch every pearl fantasy smp vod. but also I guess the first time pearl is in sausages fantasysmp vods. or find the clip. oh goodness i am-
Fantasy smp how i luv u :3
#I fell asleep during the end of pearls stream but i loved watching it#also i'm so happy cause Uncommon Pearl interactions!! I'm normally a yt only viewer#so I don't get many Oli or Bekyamon Interactions :]#Sausage aswell cause like#i feel like the last time sausage was on Pearls channel was the end of the crossover#Lol#also If I can put all of this in my lore as somethin their doing for sillies I will#I think their silly and friends and I want less Life series in my AU!!!(I love it but i'm sick of having to turn my sillies serious :/ lol)#I'm so happy#anyways I'm gonna fix my sleep schedule and it will be pearl's streaming times doing. raaa#oh right#um#pearlescentmoon#Sausage#I think it's enough to mention him..#fantasy smp
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Vince I will always love you….. (she/he/they/it)
#Worlds greatest mom/dad/parent/angel/demon#he needs a voice claim so so bad but I can’t find literally any I like#I need to write them and their kids lore so bad they’re so cuuuuute and the circumstances are kinda insane#God in this universe is constantly making WILD choices#“if that demon wants to be an angel it’s gotta be the guardian ‘angel’ to this abused kid#until it learns to do things for non-selfish reasons” ok sure that may as well happen#love God in this universe bc Gods looking at everything like it’s Gods little lab experiments#‘This human televangelist is genuinely a good guy and sure does like to praise me. What if I fucked up his life forever’ great idea#bc God is me here. Like I’m the one creating these guys and making this story#So if in-universe God is the one making all this stuff why WOULDNT God be doing it for the same reasons#I’m an atheist myself and the question is always “if there is a God why does God let innocent people suffer”#and I think an interesting answer to that is simply that God wanted to see what would happen#God is playing with God’s touys or whatever#anyways Vince is a pretty boy and even tho it’s aro and not a boy I think she’d take that compliment with pride#sassy speaks#my art#my ocs#i shouldve shaded this but I forgot lol. Maybe I will tomorrow but it’s past midnight and I need to fix my sleep schedule
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today was a do nothing day for me huh
#prince's talk tag#and by today i mean sunday bc its now monday where i am#feel free to ignore my ramblings that go on from this tag onwards#i guess i was in a clingy mood? or like i really wanted to hug someone? maybe the fact that im touch starved was acting up within me?#whatever it was i dont have anyone i could hug for a good amount of time let alone cuddle#so instead i hugged a pillow which isnt a person but it was better than nothing#but by doing that my body refused to leave the bed and just wanted to stay put clutching the pillow#and if i wasnt fully hugging it id get like antsy or something and i had to readjust until i was fully hugging it?#like id be on my phone and i had to fix myself when i stopped fully hugging the pillow bc then my mind was screaming at me#to hug the pillow better#like what??? what the heck is up with me lolol#once i tried to stop and get up but my body hated the loss and grabbed the pillow again and i went right back down on the bed#and it wasnt even like i felt any different like i didnt feel down or happy i was neutral#expect i had to be fully hugging this pillow at all times#maybe i just need sleep. i dont have the best sleep schedule#but yea sorry about that but uhhh if you read all that thanks for reading
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the thing about not fucking up my sleep schedule during the summer so that i don't end up having to suffer through a week of insomnia to fix it (aside from this being a new experience for me, usually i manage to unfuck up my sleep schedule in a day or two) is that staying up all night reading during the summer is literally the reason i stay alive. it may sound dramatic but i spend the whole work year subjecting myself to a hateful schedule of being up before the sun, and the reason i survive it is because i know come january I'll have night after night of reading for hours and hours and hours uninterrupted, peaceful quiet. I've been doing this since I was a child, it kept me going back then too, it's kept me going my whole life. i can't afford a lot of expensive pleasures like traveling, or buying that new gaming pc I've wanted for years, but i can stay up until 6am reading every day for a month. yes I'd love to avoid going through the hell week I've just endured ever again, but if you ask me to sacrifice my favorite summer passtime literally what's the point of being alive
#all due respect to my adhd doctor but you don't fix my sleep schedule by sending me into a depressive spiral that sounds like a bad idea#“wake up at the same time every day” yeah no thanks I'd literally rather die than give sleeping in during the weekends and holidays#how is “subject yourself to allowing capitalism to control your schedule every day for the rest of your life” good advice to anyone#“get up at 7.30 even when you don't have to”#hell will freeze over before i set an alarm on a sunday#if that's the solution thanks i don't want it#I'm also pretty sure the insomnia had more to do with everything going on than with my sleep schedule being backwards#alext txt
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now chat do I wake up at 10am my time to watch the mcelroy family club house stream or do I have mercy on myself and my semi nocturnal sleep schedule and watch the vod
#wampus rambles#I want to see it liveeeeee but damnnn that’s early :( not really at all but I wake up at 1pm man#They just advertised in on the most recent mbmbam and I was thinking maybe this could be my drive to fix my sleep schedule
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heartbreak so bad i will fix my sleep schedule over it-
#daisy.txt#no but rly i woke up earlier and went 'fuck this' and went right back to sleep bc idk. crying took it out of me#so now im just gonna fix my sleep schedule which works out for me ig!!!#bc i have an eye appt coming up at the beginning of august and its at a Normal Person Time#so staying up all night and sleeping during the day is. not good#its not good for me in general but like. still#im just like. im mad ig. like this happened back in march and now that things went Worse and he shut me out entirely......... ouchies!#kinda makes me wonder if i should eventually just leave the friend circle completely#it means the number of ppl i regularly talk to will shrink down by a Lot im sure#but like. if i were in their situation id pick him over me any fucking day#i just... i cant help but wonder what other ppl would think.#what would he say? would i become the villain in his story?#or would he tell the truth? that we're two ppl who drifted and then he shut me out out of nowhere?#this man is fucking 30 now and acting like this and im like. if u dont want to be friends then say thattttt ur old enough to not be cringe#abt it like this!!!!! i can handle a 'sorry i dont want to be friends actually' i cannot stand the radio silence !!
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Every time my mom's bf talks about sleep it makes me genuinely want to blow my brains out oooohhh I know everything about something because someone who studied a completely different topic tells me about it oooooh and he focuses only on one aspect of sleep oooooh and the "professional" still unironically believes in IQ and sells his own panacea supplements oohhhh
#at this point i /want/ to be diagnosed with narcolepsy so i can make him feel bad#for shitting on me and making me feel TERRIBLE for YEARS for something i cannot control bc part of my sleep system is literally destroyed#like if i am narcoleptic i probably have type 1 because i do be kinda cataplexy sometimes#which means in all likelihood my hypocretin secreting neurons are literally destroyed. no amount of a “proper” sleep schedule#will be able to fix destroyed neurons and like do you think that i like livin like this? that i get off on being exhausted all day everyday?#if i could have a normal sleep schedule i WOULD but no matter how many times i go to bed and wake up at the same time#i am always sleepy and im bound to sleep in too late on accident#i can't help it! its fucking annoying and embarrassing!#methinks
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