#Also for reference the whole thing is just done in single crochet

[mightybeaujester]

Absolute shot in the dark but does anyone know any way to fix like the middle part of a crochet project?

I just finished a cardigan and I absolutely cannot stand the flare they have right below the shoulder, but I already frogged the sleeves like 5 times for dif reasons and I cannot take frogging both of them again.

[emiliaoleary]

Hooking rugs that look like dogs

Here's how I do it:

The process I use is called rug hooking (not latch hook or punch needle or tufting, though it is the forerunner of the latter two techniques). Rugs are hooked by pulling loops of fabric strips or yarn through the holes of a base fabric with a coarse open weave, like burlap, or linen, or rug warp. The loops are pulled through the fabric with a squat-handled hook whose business end is shaped like a crochet hook.  There are no knots and the loops aren't sewed down in any way.  The whole thing stays put just by the tension of all those loops packed together in the weave of the foundation fabric.

This isn't a true detailed tutorial but a walk-through of my particular process. The same information is on my web page, emilyoleary.com .

I hook with yarn, rather than with cut strips of wool fabric, which is what many rug hookers use.  I can get a looser, more organic distribution of loops with yarn than I could with wool strips, which are hooked in neat lines. 

Mostly I use wool yarn. In terms of yarn weight, I can use DK, worsted, or Aran.  If I'm using thicker yarn, I leave more holes un-hooked; if I'm using finer yarn, I hook more densely or double up lengths of it.  I particularly like using single ply yarns (like Brown Sheep Lamb's Pride or Malabrigo Worsted).  I don't keep count, but I think I usually use around two dozen types and colors of yarn per dog.  

This is my yarn wall in my apartment. Mostly brown and gray yarn!

I start from a small drawing in my sketchbook, then I head to FedEx office to use a copy machine, blowing up the drawing repeatedly and experimenting with how big the dog rug should be. 

After transferring the image onto my linen, I immediately go over it with Sharpie, because the Saral is really difficult to see and really easy to rub off.

The rug is held taut by a PVC quilting frame that I set on my lap.

I push my hook down through the fabric with my right hand and my left hand stays below the fabric and guides the yarn while I pull it up and through with the hook. Not every hole in the fabric is hooked. Hooking every hole would make the rug too dense. I do hook pretty densely, though-- If you pick up one of my rugs you’ll see they have a slight curl to them, which is because they’re hooked pretty tight. I'm using all different weights and types of yarn, so it's a challenge to keep the overall tension even.

I hook my loops at varying heights to create a very low relief. Sometimes I trim the loops to make them fluffier or wispier or to shape a particular part. I look at a reference photo while I work and pull out and redo sections a lot.

My q-snap frame can accommodate the growing dog rug. I have extenders to make it bigger and I can clamp around my hooking.

The back of a rug looks like lines of little stitches. The lines are little worm trails snaking around because lines of hooking are not supposed to cross over each other. It's important to start a new length of yarn rather than cross over a stitch you already made! I read this when I first started and took it to heart. It makes it much easier to undo and redo hooking if you have to (and I redo sections A Lot). It also keeps the back from getting too bulky and resulting in uneven wear on the back of a functional rug that gets floor use.

When I’m done hooking everything I turn the rug over and brush watered-down Sobo glue on the edges of the dog, making sure to get one or two of the outermost lines of hooking. I do a couple coats of this thinned out glue. I'm careful not to use so much that it seeps to the front of the rug. When the glue is dry I cut the rug out, but I don't cut so close that the loops don't have any linen to keep them in.

​ It generally takes me at least several months to finish one dog rug. My hooking frame and yarn bag are very portable (though bulky) so I can hook out and about at coffee shops or the library or a brewery if there's enough space and light.

Hooking in the wild makes me an ambassador for making things in general and rug hooking in particular. I answer people's questions and always emphasize how relatively easy it is to get started hooking. Sometimes I get anxious that other people will hook rugs that look like mine but better, but I think that working in a traditional medium means you should share your knowledge for the good of the craft.

[knotalot]

Hi ! I saw your Aether doll, and I was just wondering what's your process for the hair and the clothes? A friend's birthday is coming up (very) soon, and they really like Aether, so I'd love to know how to make this kind of stuff. I think you're really talented! :)

Hi! Thank you for your kind words :)

My process is largely on a ‘trial and error’ basis, but I’ve done my best to make a guide for you (using Aether as an example, since you mentioned him specifically). Unfortunately right now all of my stuff is in storage due to unstable living conditions, so I hope you’ll forgive me for only being able to offer pre-existing photos and hand-drawn diagrams. When I get access to my stuff again, I might do a step-by-step process for hair (for Lumine, since she’s my current WIP) but that could be quite a while yet.

Stuck under a read more because this is gonna get long lol

I’ll start with clothes because I always leave hair til last.

The first thing I do is hoard as many references as I possibly can, from as many different angles as possible. These are the one I used for Aether (made myself because I couldn’t find any online that met my needs), though I did also sometimes log into my game and rotate him in the character menu haha

From here, the next step is to start dissecting the layers. Work from the base up, and break it down specifically into what you would make as a single piece, rather than say the shirt base AND the sleeves AND the decal. If that makes sense.

I don’t normally draw diagrams or anything like I will be for this, but if that helps you visualise it by all means do!

(I also tend to go really ham on the details because I’m a perfectionist, but please don’t torture yourself unless you really want to. Making things a little more simplistic is perfectly fine and valid.)

I won’t do the whole thing or I’ll reach image limit but here’s an example of how you might break it down:

The more you simplify it, the easier time you’re going to have.

The next step for me, after I raid my cupboard and the local craft store for the right colours, is to work out which pieces of the clothing I’m going to incorporate into the doll’s base body and which will be separate.

For Aether, for example, the ‘hand’ part of his gloves are the actual doll’s hands, but the bit that flares up his arm isn’t. The boots are part of his actual legs up until the part where it flares up over the top of his pants, which I made as a separate piece. The seat of his pants are the bottom half of his base body, but the pant legs themselves are add-ons. Does that make sense?

Next, make your base body! If you’d like to use my pattern, you can find it in my pinned post :)

Once you’ve got the base doll, I start adding layers of clothing. I always use a smaller hook size for the clothes than I do for the base body. In my case I like 2.5mm (and a teeny tiny 1.25mm for fine details and thin layers – but we’ll get to that later). I normally start with the pants.

My normal method of doing pants is this:

Essentially, I crochet directly into the base body in a circle around the base of the leg (so I am not chaining, but actually single crocheting through random stitches on the base in a loose circle shape), and then work in rounds until I reach the length I want.

Because Aether’s pants are puffy at the bottom and have two colours (*shakes fist at hoyo designers*), though, the process ends up being a little different.

I made his pants in two pieces: the outer side and the inner side. So instead of rounds, it ends up being rows. To get that nice puff, just do some standard increases in the right spot and make sure to decrease on the lower rows to taper it back in.

Once you have both pieces, you can just sew the two halves together.

The flare of the boot over the top of the pants is exactly the same process. Attach and single crochet directly onto the leg from the top of the boot, working up towards the waist.

For trickier shapes like the gloves, it’s sort of just familiarising yourself with what kinds of effects different stitches do and allowing yourself to get it wrong about a dozen times before it actually works lol

If you break down the gloves properly, you end up with a shape similar to this:

(this is not great i am so sorry – I am realising once again my reference was awful for the gloves)

But you can kind of see how it’s largely bulb shapes for the brown part, which is easy to do with increases and decreases. The white part I made separately and attached afterwards. Yes it was a huge, tedious pain in the ass.

For finer details, like his jewellery and, like, the shoulder armour, etc etc, I use the smallest hook I can tolerate. Please do not attempt this unless you lowkey hate yourself because it is torture.

So when you look at yarn, you can see that it has a bunch of smaller strands wound together, right?

You gotta split em.

Like this.

(image borrowed from http://illuminatecrochet.blogspot.com/2015/03/what-is-ply.html)

And then. You are going to use that tiny ass hook. And crochet those individual strands. It sucks. It breaks constantly. It makes you want to commit a crime. But damn if it doesn’t look good.

On a similar note, don’t be afraid to use the 2.5mm/whatever hook you use for clothes with less than the full ply of the skein you’re using. For Aether’s cape, I did the outer facing white part with only 2 of the strands in my 8ply yarn, and the inside orangey part with the 1.25mm and one strand. It’s still a little fatter than I’d like but it’s better than doing the whole thing in single strand torture mode lol

I’ll wrap up clothing here but if you want some help with anything specific just let me know!

On to hair!

For hair, I use felt square sheets that are like $1 each. Except for Aether because he has to have a Very Special Hair Colour that my craft store doesn’t stock so his cost me $7 :/

It’s a similar kind of deal for hair as it is for clothes. Break down the shapes and start from the bottom up.

(This is not a good look for him rip)

Layers are your friend! As are sewing pins! For real, do not glue anything down until you’ve got the whole thing pinned down because once you glue you’re in for a bad time if you need to fix something.

I’ve made two Aethers (one as a custom gift commission, one for myself) and they’re both a little different from each other, but this should help give you an idea of how I translated it to felt. I like to simplify if I can, purely because larger pieces tend to look a bit neater and less chaotic than a bunch of smaller ones.

For his braid, I found the easiest way to do it was to just cut three really long straight pieces, braid em, and then trim the end to the length I needed.

My absolute biggest #1 tip for hair:

If it looks bad but you haven’t finished, do not stop and restart.

It will always looks stupid as hell in the early stages. Don’t make a judgement call on whether or not it looks right until you’ve at least got the whole front part/fringe area fully pinned in place. Trust me.

I think that’s probably about all I have the energy for right at this second, but again if you have any questions or want help on anything specific, my inbox/DMs are always open – and that goes for anyone reading this! I’m always happy to help :)

[dolls-and-cats]

Tutorial: crocheted snood for 18" doll (or child or adult); same pattern can be used to make a netted market bag

The pattern assumes no prior knowledge of crocheting. Hat tip to my Mom who initially taught me to do this!

materials:

*yarn or string.

*scissors

*crochet hook (I'm using H6 but this can be done with variety of hooks. I'll provide measures in inches/cm so you can get there with different size stitches. Size E4 is smaller than I'd use for this.)

*measuring tape

*your doll (about 2/3 way through to size your final product).

*ribbon to make the tie. Alternatively, I'll talk through making a tie with the string/yarn as another option.

*optional: your cat to “help”

I'm writing this for an 18" doll, but you could adapt this for a snood for a different size doll, child, or adult. You can also riff on this pattern to make a fruit/veggie market bag.

Big picture: we're going to make a flat oval or circle bigger than the doll's head and then add a ribbon to cinch it around the doll's head.

1. Make a loop around crochet hook and knot it.

2. Daisy-chain about 10 stitches ( or 4 inches/10 cm). Daisy chain means bring loop through your loop (one stitch), then a loop through that loop (another stitch). Later in the pattern, I’ll just say “chain three” etc and I’m referring to the daisy chain.  

3. Think of your chain of stitches as having a top (2 pieces of yarn per stitch), a bottom (1 piece of yarn per stitch), and windows (holes in the middle).

This thin chain is what we’re starting with. Now we’ll make it wider, so that it becomes an oval. We're going to do this by making single stitches around it. Start by putting your crochet hook into a window and working with the bottom of the stitch (1 piece of yarn). Now do a single stitch. A single stitch means: go in the window (pre-existing hole) and then pull the yarn through the window with your hook. Now you have 2 pieces of yarn on your hook (pic below).

Now catch the loose line of yarn with your hook and bring yarn through both pieces of yarn on your hook. That makes a yarn thing that is a little taller with a window inside of it and you have one loop over your hook. That is a single stitch. Now go to the next "bottom stitch/1 piece of yarn with a window" of the original chain and make another single stitch.

In case my description of single stitch isn’t clear, here’s what I got when I googled: https://www.anniescatalog.com/crochet/content.html?content_id=68

ok, la la, keep single stitch crocheting until you get to the end of the row. Now we're going to do something weird; we're going to crochet around the narrow end (that is about a quarter-inch or 0.5 cm wide) and then we're going to crochet on the whole other side of this thing. In other words, we're crocheting an oval around the original chain. So to get around the end, make several (approx 4) stitches in the same window and then start single-crocheting on the other side.

Now you're single crocheting around that secomd side, and put several stitches (3) in the window at the end of the row. Now you do a slip-stitch with the original stitch where you started the first row. Slip-stitch means go through the window of the original stitch and bring the loose line of yarn through everything with your hook. Now you have a tied-up oval.

Now chain one (just pull a loop through your loop). You finished row 1 and are ascending to row 2.

4. row 2: same thing. Single crochet around the long ends, put several stitches (approx. 3) through the same window on the short ends, making an oval around the whole thing. When you've finished row 2, slip-stitch through the original stitch and then chain 1 to ascend to the next row.

Big picture: make a flat oval shape that is gradually growing outward. If it's curving in on itself like a bowl instead of lying flat, pull the string to undo some stitches and then add more stitches in the same window at the ends.

If you need to leave the project for a while, pull a loop through and then pull it toward you several inches so that the stitch won't come out.

5. It may get hard to tell where your rows begin, as you keep going around this thing. Optional: on a temporary basis, pull a small piece of different-colored yarn (or a small piece of paper) through the place where your row starts. You'll pull this out at the end of the snood.

6. row 3: same as row 2. As the ends grow wider, you'll want to add the extra stitches in more than one window on the ends. Think of adding them to the "corners" as if this were a rectangle. Slip-stitch with the original stitch, chain 1.

Now I have a flat oval that is 5 inches/13 cm long and 2 inches/4.5 cm wide. Smaller is fine. If it's a lot bigger than that and it's for a doll, I'd probably tug the string and pull out a row because you want your snood to be mostly netting, not solid.

7. row 4: Now we'll do a super awesome stitch that I think of as the "market bag" stitch, but it probably has a different name. This part will go faster than all the single stitching.

On the outside of your oval, you have stitches - the two pieces of yarn per stitch are on the outside and each stitch has a window. We're going to go into some of those windows and not in others, which is what is going to make this like a net.

To prevent the oval from turning in like a bowl, add extra stitches at the corners. Now that you're making chain-loops, this is how you add extra stitches on the corner:

Now you have an oval with ome row of chain-loops all around it.

Chain 5, go in the 2nd stitch (instead of the 3rd/middle stitch) of the previous chain, slip-stitch. Chain 5, go in the 4th stitch of the chain, keep going.

8. rows 5 through approx. 8. If you're tired of learning, you're in luck. It's easy peasy from here.

Continue doing what you did for row 4. Use the middle (3rd stitch) of previous loop- chains for the basis of each new loop-chain. Except for at the corners, where you use the second and fourth stitches of previous loop chains. Do that until you have a mostly-flat oval that's about 9 inches/23 cm by 8.5 inches/22 cm for an 18 inch doll. (A little concave like a bowl is ok, especially at the last row, but a completely flat oval will also be fine). For another sized doll or human: about twice as long and twice as wide as the face. For a market bag: whatever seems right.

If you need to tie your string/yarn to another piece, push the knots and messy stuff to the side facing you, which will be the inside of your snood.

9. Last row: now you're going to riff on what you've been doing, but you just want to make a smooth edge of the oval now instead of continuing to make it bigger. So chain 3, go in the top stitch (3rd, or middle stitch) of a chain from last row, slip-stitch. Repeat until end of row. Tie off by making a final slip-stitch, make a knot, cut a tail of a couple inches, and then thread it through your snood to hide it, letting the tail point into what will be the inside of the snood.

10. Now cut about 40 inches/101 cm of ribbon and thread it through the last row. Pull it closed around the back of her head. This will be your snood! Alternative to ribbon: daisy-chain (loop through loop) until you have about 40 inches/101 cm, then tie off.

Now Addy can keep her hair out of her face while doing chores or playing!

For a market-bag: I do everything for the snood, but keep going until I have a bigger oval. After I’ve done the last row to make a smooth oval, I make a daisy-chain from one side to the other for a handle, and then single-crochet a couple times to make the handle more substantial. Repeat for a second handle.

This is the first time I've written out a crochet tutorial. Feel free to let me know if parts are unclear.

[amphtaminedreams]

Spring/Summer & Haute Couture Week 2021: Whoops, I’ve Missed a Loooot

Hi to anyone reading,

Where TF has the time gone!?

After experiencing the longest January of all time (when your birthday is right after New Year, you get that between Boxing Day before NYE slump like a couple of weeks after everyone else), February has gone by in, like, 5 minutes and already we’re well into the throes of the F/W 2021 collection presentations. Meanwhile, I’m here like! Surprise! Here are my reviews of the S/S 2021 collections if anybody still cares! I mean I’m mashing it up with corresponding haute couture week reviews to fool everyone into thinking that doing it so many months later was intentional and it was totally working right up until this sentence, right?

In all fairness, I originally thought that I wasn’t going to bother reviewing S/S21 because it seemed kinda redundant given the circumstances and I wasn’t keen on the idea of collections being showcased via photo sets which is the route so many brands chose to (understandably) go down. Buuuut, the more I saw of what designers had put out there, the more I was tempted to put this post together and now here I am. The fact that designers are even able to churn pieces out during a pandemic when I’m out here like 0__0 no thoughts, head empty...it’s impressive to say the least, especially the way so many used the circumstances to inform their designs. In a way, it would be a disservice not to do a post on the season, and yeah it’s late, but given that it we are actually about to enter spring and the shows are kind of the deciders of what’s going to be “in” and “out”, they’re more relevant than ever. With plans for our way out of lockdown materialising-now is the perfect time to add that I don’t want ANYONE suddenly developing selective amnesia over how our government has failed us now that Boris has announced when the clubs COULD reopen-let this post serve as a roundup of every bit of inspiration available for our spring fits. I also want to use this opportunity to disclose how irritated I am at myself for starting the previous fashion week reviews post by declaring I was going to work through the designers in chronological order when I meant fucking alphabetical because I now can’t go back and change that. So this time, let me start properly. I’m going to be reviewing the collections in ALPHABETICAL order. Now that’s out the way, let’s do it. First, Acne:

It’s so great to start on a high, it really is, and fortunately Acne is reliably good. It’s still got that deconstructed, minimalist feel that the brand is known for but for the summer season; we can see creative director Jonny Johansson and his team moving away from the heavier pieces we saw last time round, away from upcycled bohemian curtains and towards a breezier, more season appropriate aesthetic, boujee kaftans and swimwear rebelliously hacked up and artfully rearranged, and it feels correct. The net pieces, the beachy colour palette, the oil spill-esque print (though this represents an intruder of the marine ecosystem, as a print I loveee it and 100% want more!) and the accessories, reminiscent of shells, coral and anything else you might find on the seabed, give me a hipster mermaid washed ashore vibe which completely fits with that rugged, mysterious sense of Nordic folklore references and adventure the brand has established as its foundation. If it’s a nod to some kind of new age cult that Johansson was going for, which apparently is the case, I’m guessing said cult worship sea goddesses and perform pagan rituals on the beach by moonlight, and though indoctrination doesn’t sound at all inviting, it's a party compared to scientology.

The chiffon trousers here are actually chic and seeing them styled under a blazer makes me realise done right they CAN be more than just a PrettyLittleThing summer sale piece, so I’ll store that away for outfit inspo when the time to get rid of some layers comes around. The glasses, too, are very Gucci. Flip flops with socks I don’t think I can ever come round to but-

Whilst it was a favourite of mine last season and it sticks to that same bohemian vibe with a lot of the elements I love, Ferretti lacks a little oomph this time round; it’s more stripped back, neutral, easy-going, and it is lovely, but for those same reasons it doesn’t grab my attention as much as the past couple of collections have. If you’re an influencer wanting to shoot a Joshua Tree desert lookbook this is sublime, but compared to the flair I saw in their last winter show, for example, there’s something lacking.

I’m very glad to see neutral coloured boiler suits on the runway, however; I snagged myself one off Depop the other week so I might be unintentionally ahead of the curve for once! The crochet detail dresses are nice too but very much remind me of past Zimmerman collections, or an Ermanno Scervino grab for the most high street friendly parts of Erdem SS2020, something along those lines. What I’m trying to say is that it’s definitely been there done that, even by Ferretti themselves and not in a continuity kinda way, in a kinda…this is basic and pretty so we know it will sell kinda way.

Eurgh, I wanna be one of these Alessandra Rich girls so bad.

I end up repeating myself every single time because I always love her collections but really, this is what a high fashion novice thinks Chanel is. Alessandra Rich outsold. As much as her dresses have looked amazing on people like Kate Middleton and January Jones, I’m just waiting for one of the modern it-girls to take the nostalgia-tinged femininity of her pieces and put some kind of daring, street-style twist on it; if that doesn’t happen I’ll gladly take 5 minutes of fame so I can do it before fading back into obscurity. Let me fulfil my modern first lady fantasy, reenact the croquet scene from Heathers, drape myself on a chaise lounge whilst smoking with a cigarette holder, and then throw me back into the trash where I belong. I can die happy. Also, can we once again appreciate how much more iconic the Alessandra Rich two piece made the already moment Dakota Johnson singlehandedly brought down the Ellen dynasty?

Dakota knew exactly what she was gonna do and the energy that she was gonna channel when she wore that piece and I admire it. Alessandra Rich, if nothing else, will go down as a key moment in pop culture history, and you know what? It’s what she deserves.

Whilst I do wish she’d branch out a little and try and get back in touch with the dark drama of old McQueen collections now and again, Sarah Burton has made a very recognisable Alexander McQueen silhouette and it’s beautiful; this season is gorgeous as always. A leather biker and tulle affair that’s perfect for a grunge ballet, it’s easy to avoid lamenting the excitement and theatrics of old collections when Sarah creates such consistently sophisticated pieces. Stunning.

Now, a quick haute couture detour with Alexandre Vauthier:

Compared to other haute couture collections, this is pretty toned down and by appearances alone (I know haute couture is more about meeting technical requirements more than anything else but there is a level of grandiose you expect to see) is more like a RTW collection than its counterparts. That being the case, I don’t have a huge amount to say about this one, though I do really like it-the ruched metallic boots especially. The Studio 54 vibes and the glam rock influences are clear and a lot of these pieces could definitely make it into Lady Gaga’s AHS Hotel wardrobe which is a compliment of the highest order, so there ya go. Plus, if a collection IS gonna be presented through stills, a format like this is preferable to some of the others I’m gonna talk about. There may be more exciting ways of doing it but simple allows us to see the clothes properly and at the end of the day, that’s what I care about the most!

Heading back to good ole’ RTW, we have Altuzarra; I wasn’t hugely keen on their last collection but this is definitely a step up for me and justifies keeping them on my radar. Though in some ways this seems like less of a summer collection and more of a late winter/early spring transitional one on the basis it can’t seem to decide which temperature its catering to, there’s a lot to like: a colour palette that reminds me of a Dion Lee collection, harnesses evocative of those sprinkled throughout the last few Alexander McQueen shows, and more of the utility wear trend that I’m still very much into nicely contrasted against lighter, airier pieces for an overall fresh, modern vibe. The interpretive dancewear style pieces are interesting and the woven platform sandals are the shoe of the summer but the white shirt with the cape incorporated is definitely the high point of this show and I absolutely adore it.

Anna Sui was actually pretty cute this time round. Her pieces have always been kooky, but in the past a little too lairy and occasionally cheap-looking for me. This collection, however, is kooky in more of a Melanie Martinez styled baby doll kinda way, as opposed to in an eccentric Bjork loving aunt whose idea of heaven is an all-must-go Primark sale kinda way (I know some people are going to vehemently disagree with my aesthetic preference there) and I love that. There seems to be a lot more creative direction going on, a much clearer vision of what Sui wanted to achieve, and yes a few of the looks went a bit too hard on the cookie cutter vibes but on the whole, they were more edited than usual; it seems Sui actually paid attention to the “take one thing off before you leave the house” rule this time. The staging is the perfect compliment to the doily style bucket hats and the sandals paired with frilly socks, and really adds to the whimsy of the collection, and as a whole, it really reminds me a lot of the way my mum would dress me as a toddler but styled up for a grown adult. Cute AF.

Armani RTW I was pleasantly surprised by, considering I don’t usually rate it. It’s a cool, androgynous take on retro shapes and styles that’s simultaneously fit for the hustle and bustle of the modern world. Strong 2021 Peggy Olsen vibes, and a bit muted Lacoste-I can 100% imagine Elisabeth Moss as Peggy swanning around in one of those huge minimalist houses with the floor to ceiling windows after a long day at work, though we’ll switch the cigarette for a vape because...you know...welcome to the future. And sure, maybe the vision is slightly influenced by THAT scene from Us, but whatever. As for the men’s wear, if I have to look through an endless gallery of straight white men in plain ass suits every time I do some kind of red carpet fashion review, I at least hope they’re wearing Armani. I need me some impeccable tailoring to soften the blow.

I do wonder, however, how the clothes would look on plus size models. I feel like it’s a collection that’s very catered to a person who is straight up and down, and it feels like a bit of an easy cop out not to have any kind of versatility. Say what you want about Christian Siriano but he caters to all body types very well.

I actually quite liked Armani’s haute couture collection too; the pops of colour and the intricate embroidery give me what I’ll later talk about missing from Valentino haute couture. There were still some of the frumpier pieces that I usually associate Armani with but also a lot of Great Gatsby-esque looks that I really enjoyed.

Returning to RTW, Ashish was amazing. I LOVE that there’s always some kind of unique print (this time round, kitschy illustrations) and whilst a whole maxi swan print dress may not be the most wearable for the majority of us, Ashish Gupta does bold and innovative really well. There were a few boring striped pieces in there but I adore the one shouldered butterfly print dress and I NEED that Hail Satan jumper; it reminds me a lot of something by sustainable fashion brand Minga, which is one of my absolute fave websites to buy from when I’m treating myself to some new clothes.

Azarro’s haute couture collection is full of supreme awards show afterparty fits, and I was shook to find out that Olivier Theyskens is the brand’s creative director! My newfound obsession with his pieces really had me like :O when I realised he was behind Azarro too. I loved their collection last time round, though this I’m finding a bit harder to give much analysis on because of the way it’s shot; whilst it could be a YSL perfume Vogue ad, which is obviously far from a bad thing, it comes at the cost of lacking visual clarity. That being said, from what I can see, Theyskens once again masterfully channels the wardrobe of the effortlessly cool, messy haired, smudged eye make up rock ‘n roll girl, and I think that’s someone we all want to be.

Balenciaga RTW was an interesting one for me-on first inspection, I was kinda disappointed. Without the usual drama of the bold, exaggerated silhouettes and the theatrical production of their shows, I felt it was missing a bit of the magic I’ve come to expect from them. The streetwear elements infused throughout, a departure from their typical pieces, was very hit and miss; the shearling slip-ons in particular were not my thing at all. I’d be admiring some beautiful gothic dress and then my eyes would slide down and see those monstrosities and it would bring the whole thing down a notch or two, despite bad shoes being something I can typically overlook if I otherwise enjoy the rest of the outfit. My initial conclusion: that the Balenciaga Myrtle Snow would choose as her last words this collection.

However, upon re-evaluation when typing this post up properly and knowing what to expect, I like the collection a lot. I’m getting a bit of a Seoul streetwear vibe from it, and I can appreciate that although it is a lot more trend focussed, it’s got an edgy, daring quality to it, with a lot of androgynous, utility wear elements on show. I loveee the Balenciaga chokers too and in my wildest dreams would get my hands on one before it goes the way of the Gucci belt and gets overdone and flaunted by social media influencers as a show of wealth to the point of tackiness.

At Balmain the sculpted body armour made a comeback but on this occasion, not in a way that I liked, and there war far too many neons for my taste too. No matter how many times it rears its ugly head, I find it hard to get on board because as a colour palette I can’t help but associate with Claire’s Accessories circa 2007-it has to be SO well done to avoid looking cheap, imo, and these Balmain pieces weren’t good enough for me to go against that gut aversion. A collection with 100+ looks isn’t usually a good sign and expecting Olivier Rousteing to achieve the impossible and manage to do both quality and quantity is a recipe for disaster; it’s a shame because his last collection was so original and yet this one feels like a cheaper looking rip off of other brands. It was just a bawdy display of 80s overkill IMO and if I can only find 8 outfits to include out of 100 that’s clearly not a good sign.

Bottega Veneta is a brand that the high fashion side of the internet loves that I can never 100% get on board with; I get it, they’re behind the gorgeous square toed heels, but other than that none of their collections have ever really wowed me. The chunky knitted pieces are very Miu Miu style futuristic grandma chic and as someone on the cusp of being either a millennial or gen Z (depending on which website you visit) it’s got me outfit planning for my retirement years. Utilising so much wool for a summer collection, however, seems like a choice because can you IMAGINE wearing a heavy knit in blazing sun; I almost didn’t include the collection to be honest but then every so often something really cute came long, and one of the signature crisp, classic BV pieces would be done well and so I felt I had to. Am I missing something given all the hype here? IDK tbh.

Burberry? Meh. You could also call this collection how many ways can I do a trench coat, with results of differing quality; occasionally the mix match of styles worked and I saw the deconstructed outerwear concept that Ricardo Tisci was presumably trying to go for, though it can’t come as much of a surprise that the combination of a trench, denim and leather jacket was mostly just messy and came off as a last ditch attempt to make the classic coat more interesting by just chucking other fabrics at it and seeing what stuck.

One thing I will say is that there were some really sick prints going on-the snakes in particular-and it was those prints that were really the saving grace of the collection; as I said with regards to Ashish, I like it when you can tell a brand has gone out of their way to experiment with patterns and actually incorporate illustration and graphic design into their pieces. Prints notwithstanding, though, it wasn’t a memorable collection and I really can’t wait for the day we put this whole multiple denim jean waistband trend to bed once and for all; in the wise words of Regina George “stop drying to make multiple waist bands happen. They’re not going to happen.”.

Carolina Herrera was just as I expected. Whilst Wes Gordon was a little more daring with the structure of the pieces than usual, you can still he’s still committed to designing for the wealthy, modestly dressed socialite (yes I’m talking about Tinsley Mortimer and yes, I have recently become obsessed with Real Housewives) and her insatiable need to collect more charity gala gowns than she’ll ever possibly have opportunities to wear in her time on this earth. Sounds like a great life, sure, but it’s not like it gets my heart racing when I see the looks on the runway. The most memorable piece for sure was double breasted blazer w the asymmetric ruffle; I haven’t seen anything like it in a RTW collection in recent memory.

Now onto the fucking train wreck that was Celine RTW.

It’s not even bad for a runway fashion show, it’s just like…straight-up bad. Like Hedi Slimane went back in time to 2013, took a bunch of models into my local Topshop (and I have to clarify my local Topshop rather than the flagship Oxford Circus store-RIP-because to do the same in the latter would produce far better results), picked up some cheap basics, switched the lights off, and then, finally, dressed them in the dark. There’s very few positive comments I can make so I’m just going to move on.

Chanel RTW I actually didn’t hate as much this season; maybe it’s because coming from Celine, my standards are like, on the floor, but it’s slightly better than usual. Whilst most of it was same old same old, the opening 10 or so looks and then from 40 onwards were alright. The colour contrast pieces were classic Chanel in a good way, that is to say somewhat modernised and appealing to a younger clientele as opposed to the elderly women who still see a boucle jacket as the height of fashion. The mini chiffon capes were also cute, and if it weren’t for COVID putting pause on everything I can see the Chanel headband being duped ad infinitum.

The worst part of the collection was without a doubt the pieces with the neon logo print, which I wish I could erase from my mind. At this point, with Virginie Viard seemingly refusing to make any attempt to reinvent the brand, Chanel is best when it’s subtle; that way it appeals to those regular customers who rely on the prestige of the garment and the new generation of consumers who are further branching out into experimenting with their personal style and want a quality base. But who I ask are these tacky ass pieces aimed at? Because though it appears to be an attempt to infuse a kind of youthful spirit into Chanel, it is very out of touch with what gen Z actually like, and I can’t imagine any rich old white ladies buying them either. Big shoulder shrug.

Whilst I tend to find Chanel’s haute couture collections a bit better than their RTW, this is probably on par. Still rather meh and frumpy at times, but there were some pretty, whimsical pieces in there that were definitely elevated by the staging which, I must say, was very dreamy. I’ve enjoyed the last couple of haute couture shows a lot more (the one with the library set was v cool), which were comparatively restrained with the frivolous details and the chintz, so this seems a step back. The dresses with the 50s Audrey Hepburn for Miss Dior style silhouette are lovely but obviously, as per the reference, nothing new.

Onto something much more exciting, we have Charlotte Knowles’ RTW collection, whose work has made her one to watch. I’m not as huge a fan of this as her last instalment, but Knowles’ (who I recently found out only just graduated from Central Saint Martins, making her achievements all the more impressive) continues to create clothes for a girl far cooler than myself; I know, that wouldn’t be hard, but we’re talking like, miles cooler. One of those women who can literally pull anything off and immediately make you want to try it yourself even though 9 times out of 10 that would be a bad idea-I could probably take, like, one piece and make it work but anything more would most likely just be me embarrassing myself. You wouldn’t think San Fransisco psychedelic summer of love motifs would mesh with futuristic Mad Max style biker vibes but Charlotte and her partner Alexandre Arsenault make it sexy AF, like a combo that was always meant to be. They are a dream team.

And lastly for this post, we have another collection I really liked: Chloe. Sadly Natacha Ramsay-Levi’s last collection for the brand, she truly went out on a high note, with a reliably gorgeous iteration of her sophisticated take on bohemian style. Who now, will we look to when we want to cosplay as one of the Jessas from Girls of the world? When we want to pretend we’re a rich, party girl socialite backpacking across Western Europe (along the foothills of Mount Tibidabo…) on a commissioned trip to “find herself” for the fashion magazine column she’s writing, whilst we’re actually on a budget family holiday in Spain? When we can’t decide if we’re dressing like a modern day Rachel Green or Phoebe Buffay and say fuck it, I’m gonna do both? I mean sure, I could never afford Chloe anyway and sure, I’m interested to see what Gabriela Hearst can do with the brand, which despite its loveliness is quite predictable, but it’s definitely sad to see Ramsay-Levi go when she has become a reliable source of elegance and class each season. She brings a quietly confident brand of femininity to the fashion world where the high profile design houses are increasingly dominated by men who are sometimes too focussed on being bold and brash enough to be hailed as the newest design visionary, and I have huge respect for that. She will be missed.

Now it feels right to end the post here, given that I just finished with a kind of dramatic memoriam for a woman who is very much still alive and given that I would really be playing with fire by trying to push Tumblr’s edit post feature any further, so I’ll wrap it up for now. In part 2, which will hopefully be out over the next couple of weeks, we’ll be looking at a surprisingly strong haute couture collection from (can’t believe I’m about to say this) Maria Grazia as well as some of my faves, Etro, Dion Lee, Gucci, and of course Iris Van Herpen’s haute couture. In the meantime, I’m hoping to get a post out on my favourite sustainable clothing brands and to shoot my take on the “what I would wear sat front row at X” video trend that’s been going around lately on TikTok and Instagram reels, which I know I am kinda late to the party with.

I’m also looking at starting “photo dump” posts where I basically just substitute what I would be putting on my Instagram feed as photo posts on here, all the way back to when I first started my fashion Instagram account. I know this is hardly a hot take, but Instagram has really gone to shit, and once I’ve moved all my photos from there to here, I’m probably going to be deleting my account and just keep my private personal one. I’m sick of the endless scrolling past photos of people edited to the point of being unrecognisable and of seeing faces that all conform to that exact same Eurocentric beauty standard with the exact same surgical procedures to the point that even I, as a thin, white cis girl feel disgusting (so god knows how others without my privilege feel) because I don’t have a fucking fox eye lift or whatever it is that internet famous surgeons are telling us we need for our faces to fit the “golden ratio” at the moment. I am OVERRR all the promoted posts from people who preach social awareness and equality and authenticity and kindness making money off promoting companies that rely on slave labour rather than those who make me feel uplifted and inspired. And I am VERY MUCH done with scrolling through share for share and like for like pages because I am embarrassed by the fact that my likes don’t match up to my follower count since that must mean that NOBODY LIKES ME AND EVERYONE HATES MY FACE, right!? Even though I’d like to think that mentality was something I grew out of a long time ago. Instagram, much like Facebook before it (which is no surprise since the latter now owns the former), has just become another cesspit of an app which exists solely to convince you to buy new clothes and follow the latest filler trend and blow money on holidays you can’t afford to convince everyone you’re living the good life. Like many others, I have finally come to the conclusion that the way Instagram operates now is nothing but detrimental to my wellbeing. So, all that being said, I’m moving my feed over here, to a place where I can just arrange my silly little photos into silly little collages and not care if I’m shouting into the void by doing so because they’re just a screenshot of my life that I can look back on in however many years time and think Oh, Cool! That’s What I Was Interested In Back Then! That Outfit is Timeless! Or That One Was a HUGE FUCKING MISTAKE! Because I do love the creative element of Instagram, turning your feed into a collage, picking out which colours compliment each other, posting your favourite art and your outfits and the makeup looks you’re proud of, the beautiful sights you’ve seen-I just hate how unbridled capitalism and unrealistic social expectations have once again destroyed a good thing, and caused it to stray so far from its original vision of connecting people. Here, I don’t care if I get 0 interactions on those kinds of posts, because I am putting stuff out there I am proud of that expresses who I am and that interests me, and when I put a lot of hard ass work into something that’s actually important or that benefits others in some way as opposed to indulging my own vanity, it does get some circulation and I hope that it does make a positive difference, regardless of how small. I hope it doesn’t bother anyone too much seeing my initial photo dump posts on their dashboard as I try and catch up to where I am now; you’ll probs see a mini influx of 2015 fashion and I’m sorry about that! But I don’t *think* it will be too long until I’m up to date and then the photo dump posts will be much less regular.

Anyway, sorry about the Instagram rant there at the end! If you read all the way til the end, this is a  huuuuge thank you! I hope you enjoyed the post and I will get the next one out ASAP, potentially with a few posts in between. As always, feel free to inbox me if there’s anything you wanted to talk about or suggest and make sure you stay safe. There may finally be some light at the end of the tunnel:D

With a cautious dose of optimism, and the acknowledgement that I will most likely regret saying this: bring on June the 21st UK gals!

Lauren x

[twotwinks]

benthan for 001, and benji for 002

I hope you realize what you’ve unleashed here- It’s so ungodly long that I’m adding a cut to save your dashes.

001 | Benthan

When I Started Shipping Them

So I went back through my posts because I very vividly remember when I realized I’d fallen for this ship. I first mentioned that I might have started shipping them in the tags of a post on September 15, 2018, and after I acknowledged it, I was sold on it. So I’ve shipped these precious soft boys for just a little shy of two months!

My Thoughts

This is so vague and mean, I don’t even know where to begin… I just… I love them a lot. I don’t think I’ve ever really felt this strongly for a ship before. I mean, I’ve had OTPs before, but never an OTP that actively made me want to rip my heart out because I just can’t handle the emotions it causes, positive or negative. It’s also the first ship I’ve ever written fic for, and it honestly just feels so natural, it’s so easy to write romantic stuff for them and virtually impossible to write something platonic. Plus, without this ship, I never would’ve made any tumblr friends. I’d still just be sitting on the outskirts, randomly reblogging stuff and trying desperately to come up with decent content for my fandom blog. Now I know Ruth and Cassidy and Stanislas and everybody else, and I have so much fun seeing everyone’s posts and participating when I’m brave enough (even though I still sometimes wonder if I fit in, and even if I don’t, I’m just grateful everyone still plays along with me) and honestly it’s one of the brightest parts of my life right now. I see a note or a message or someone tags me in something and sometimes it makes me want to cry because people are thinking about me. So I love this ship even more for that.

What Makes Me Happy About Them

There’s just so much. There’s so much to be happy about them. I love the way they smile at each other. I love how loyal they are to each other. I feel like they fit the “I’d follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining” better than anyone else, because they would, they’d do anything for each other. And even if you look at their relationship as platonic, that’s an incredibly strong friendship, and it just warms my heart.

What Makes Me Sad About Them

The fact that one day one of them is probably going to end up dying trying to save the other one. I’d really like for them to leave fieldwork so they can live happy and safe together for the rest of their days, but I know that Ethan would never be able to live like that. Fallout told us that much. And you can bet that as long as Ethan is in the field, Benji’s going to be right by his side.

Things Done in Fanfic that Annoy Me

I dunno, really. Most of the Benthan fic we’ve got is pretty solid. Some of the smut’s a little weak, but I only occasionally venture there, so it’s not too big of a deal. One thing that does sometimes bug me, even though it’s literally the most nonsensical and ridiculous thing to be bothered by, is when they’re referred to as boyfriends or use terms of endearment on each other. I have no idea why it bothers me, it’s such a perfectly reasonable thing!!! I guess maybe I feel like they’ve just been friends with each other for so long and they know each other so well that they wouldn’t bother labeling it. At the end of the day, they’re still just Ethan and Benji, just like they’ve always been. I don’t know. I know it’s stupid, but it can still sometimes throw off the whole vibe of the fic for me. Which is ridiculous. I’m ridiculous.

Things I Look for in Fanfic

Good characterization. That’s such a big thing for me, especially now that Ethan and Benji have been my daydreaming muses for so long now. Their voices are so strong in my head, especially Benji’s. So a fic has to have really good characterization for me to love it. I also really like reading (and writing!) anything that deals with Benji’s trauma and hurt/comfort with Benji as the victim. He just deserves to be taken care of. Poor guy’s earned a hug or ten.

Who I’d be Comfortable Them Ending Up With, If Not Each Other

I suppose I’d be okay if Ethan and Ilsa ended up together. I really don’t want Ilsa to be demoted to the love interest, though. She’s such a good character, and Fallout already did her so dirty. But she’s the only other person I could see Ethan having a chance of being happy with. As for Benji, well… I think I’d just prefer him to stay a Single Pringle. If Ethan (or I!) can’t have him, no one can! I know Benji/Brandt is also a pretty popular ship, but it’s honestly just not my cup of tea. I can’t see it (or maybe I’m just too blinded by shipping Benthan so strongly).

My Happily Ever After for Them

Preferably for them to never ever set foot in the field again and buy a little house together where they host cozy holiday dinners and snuggle together on the couch after long days of training new agents and teaching them about the importance of the team dynamic. But, as I explained earlier, that’s unrealistic for these two. So, if they must remain in fieldwork, I pray that either they both manage to last long enough that they’re forced to retire (and then Benji will have to help Ethan cope with not being able to prevent bad things, so not exactly ideal) or that they both die together in the field, at the same time, so that neither of them will have to live with the guilt of losing the other (again, not ideal because then they’ll be DEAD).

Who is the Big Spoon/Little Spoon

Benji is the little spoon I don’t care if he’s taller I WILL FIGHT YOU ON THIS. Benji likes being held. It makes him feel safe after all he’s been through. Grounds him, you know? Gives him a sense of security. And Ethan likes holding Benji, because he knows that no one can hurt Benji when he’s there in Ethan’s arms, and even if Benji has nightmares, Ethan’s already right there to help him.

What is Their Favorite Non-sexual Activity

They are cuddlebugs. They snuggle everywhere, every chance they get. I don’t know if cuddling counts as an activity, though. I think they also like reading to each other. While cuddling. Because I can’t imagine a scenario where they could reasonably be in physical contact and yet wouldn’t be. So yeah. They like to cuddle.

002 | Benji

How I Feel About This Character

I… I love him. So much. Probably more than I should. Rogue Nation was the first M:I movie I saw, and I’d been kinda passively watching it until the high speed chase scene. I’d looked up from my crochet enough to notice Simon Pegg (who, at the time, was still just Scotty to me – can you believe that???), but then he started screaming during the chase, and I started paying attention, because hey, that’s exactly what I’d probably do in that situation, I like this guy. And then by the end of it Benji owned my heart, because Simon Pegg is a phenomenal actor and made me feel all of the emotions when Benji was strapped to the bomb. Mostly because Simon’s eyes are incredibly expressive, something I first noticed towards the end of Star Trek Into Darkness and still notice in most of his films. Then I went back and watched all the films, and I made small involuntary happy noises when he showed up in M:I:III. And he was so cute in Ghost Protocol. I nearly had a breakdown in the theater towards the end of Fallout (you know when I mean!) because I’m so attached to him. I actually legitimately said “Oh thank god” in the theater when it all worked out. I might have even cried a little. I was so worked up that I didn’t even fall for the bait-and-switch at the end. I didn’t have the emotional capacity to even process it as a possibility. So yeah, I think I’m unhealthily obsessed with Benji Dunn.

All the People I Ship Romantically with This Character

Ethan. It’s literally just Ethan. Ethan or bust.

My Non-romantic OTP for This Character

Benji and Ilsa are bros. Fire-forged friends. They’ve both gone against each other once or twice, but now they know where their loyalties lie, and they’ll help each other out when they need it. Total bros.

My Unpopular Opinion About This Character

I don’t know if I have one, really. Although I always kinda imagined Benji as a really good baker, or that he at least enjoys baking in his free time, but then I discovered that apparently a lot of people headcanon him as an awful cook? So maybe that’s one.

One Thing I Wish Would Happen/Had Happened with This Character in Canon

I just want his trauma to be addressed. He tries to talk about it in Ghost Protocol, and Jane and Ethan both look kinda worried, but then Brandt just jumps in and SHUTS HIM DOWN, and nothing more is said about it. And he’s been through much worse since then. Even if it’s just a simple, “Hey, you okay?” from LITERALLY ANYBODY. I’d take it. (I’d prefer it even more if Benji got a hug out of the deal. He needs a hug, poor baby.)

My OTP

Benthan. In case you haven’t figured it out by now.

My Crossover Ship

I have never actually considered this. And I’m not sure I will. I’m just so invested in Benthan, I don’t think I have the capacity to ship Benji with anybody else. I can’t even think of anyone he’d click so well with. (I’ve always been bad at the crackship thing anyway.) Maybe a lone Nick Frost character somewhere. Those always make for good ships, right?

A Headcanon Fact

Hmm… I’m really bad at this stuff, aren’t I? I either give away my answers way ahead of time or can’t come up with anything. Well, outside of Benji being a baker and my fun-to-think-about idea that all Simon Pegg characters are actually related to each other, I usually headcanon Benji as a pretty panicky sort. When I write his internal monologues, I usually get going with these long, looping, drawn-out sentences that all circle back and compound on each other and just make everything so much worse for him. He’s a worst-case-scenario kind of person. Even when things work out, he drives himself mad constantly running through the what-ifs. That’s probably me just projecting onto him a little, but I feel like it’s worked out okay in the few fics I’ve written. I also headcanon that he’s a big-time stargazer, especially when he feels overwhelmed, something that I originally chucked into a fic because I needed something for Benji to do (and also as a I’m-probably-the-only-one-who-got-it nod to Star Trek) but now I firmly stand by it as something he does.

There. That’s that. I started this two hours ago. I probably should’ve been in bed an hour and a half ago. This is ridiculously long. I hope someone finds my obsessive ramblings enjoyable instead of just irritating.

Thank you for giving me the chance to gush like this, Ruth! It feels like I never get to talk about the things I love often enough. At least not to people who actually want to hear me gush about them!

[lanadelreyfiles-blog]

Lana Del Rey: Read NME’s exclusive interview with the modern icon. Lana Del Rey’s new album ‘Lust For Life’ is her most ambitious yet. Mike Williams meets her in the city that inspires her the most, Los Angeles – a place, she says, that “enhances something in me that’s already cooking” – to talk about music, happiness and witchcraft. Interview by Mike Williams. Photography by Neil Krug. It will surprise no one to learn that Dr Dre has very good speakers in his studio. And when I say very good, I don’t mean very good in a pricey and popular headphones kind of way. I mean very good in a “holy s**t, I can hear every individual speck of space dust in this galactic wall of sound” kind of way. It’s how we would all listen to music if we were billionaire music industry moguls. Dre has given us permission to use his Santa Monica studio – across the road from the legendary Interscope Records – to hear ‘Lust For Life’, the latest Lana Del Rey album, for the first time. The inside of the studio is clad with expensive-looking wood. The lights are seductively dimmed. It looks both like Don Draper’s office and the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. There’s a bubbling lava lamp next to a Bruce Lee lampshade on top of the main desk. The drinking water is perfectly cool. It’s totally LA. It’s a fitting place to listen to Del Rey’s coming-of-age record. Huge in scale in every sense – sonically, vocally, thematically – it’s the culmination of two years of relentless work. Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding. As she’ll tell me the following day: “I kind of felt when I started I was going to be in this whole new zone when I was done, a whole new space. I’m really proud that there’s a shift in tone, a shift in perspective. There’s a bit of reflectiveness on what I’m seeing and it’s integrated with how I’m feeling. Normally I’m just, ‘Let me just put this all out there,’ and then I’m really surprised when people are like, ‘You’re f**king crazy.’”

Del Rey has been Interscope labelmates with Dre since October 2011, when she bought herself out of her contract with 5 Points Records, where she’d toyed with different identities and different sounds. Six months earlier, she’d become an overnight star when her aesthetic clicked and she released her debut single proper, ‘Video Games’. In the space of three acclaimed albums (2012’s ‘Born To Die’, 2014’s ‘Ultraviolence’ and 2015’s ‘Honeymoon’) she’s gone from lo-fi internet queen to fully formed Hollywood superstar. And now she doesn’t just have the songs – they’ve been there since the first day Lizzy Grant looked in the mirror and Lana Del Rey winked back – but also the production, the ambition, the pulling power and the brass balls to make ‘Lust For Life’. I hear nine tracks through the big speakers – ‘Love’, ‘Lust For Life’ (Ft. The Weeknd), ’13 Beaches’, ‘Cherry’, ‘White Mustang’, ‘Groupie Love’ (Ft. A$AP Rocky), ‘Coachella – Woodstock In My Mind’, ‘Beautiful People Beautiful Problems’ (Ft. Stevie Nicks) and ‘Tomorrow Never Came’ (Ft. Sean Ono Lennon) – before driving up to a rooftop bar in Hollywood to order drinks from wannabe film stars and looking up towards the hills to meditate on what I’ve just heard. Shoo-wops, doo-wops, wall of sound production; tender moments, angry moments; sex, cars, uncertainties; opulent LA life. If you squint, you can see the famous Hollywood sign in the distance. If you close your eyes you can see Del Rey looking out from her window right inside the middle of the H. The next day we’re in a different studio in a different part of town, this one belonging to Del Rey’s longtime collaborator and producer Rick Nowels. He greets us at the door with a massive grin and ushers us into the main room where the album was recorded. It’s untidy, in a warm and homely way. He wants to know what we think of the record. He’s excited to talk about it. Nowels is a 57-year-old music industry legend who’s worked with Madonna, Tupac, Stevie Nicks and more, but it’s obvious that there’s a particular space in his head and his heart reserved for Del Rey, who he repeatedly describes as “special” and “remarkable”. Del Rey arrives. She’s wearing a crocheted T-shirt and jeans. We sit down in a side room and both press record on our phones. There’s a book about Manson Family victim Sharon Tate on the table that neither of us notices until after the interview is over. I ask her if she’s as happy as she looks on the cover of the new album. “Yeah…” she says. “That was my goal, you know, to get to that place of feeling like in my daily life I had a lot of momentum. Like a moving-on-ness from wherever that other place was that ‘Honeymoon’ and ‘Ultraviolence’ came from. I loved those records, but I felt a little stuck in the same spot.” How did she move on? “I just felt a little more present. Writing a song like ‘13 Beaches’ – it’s a little bit of an abstract notion, but for me it took stopping at 13 beaches one hot day to find one that nobody was at. And I just thought, you know, the concept of needing to find 13 beaches might seem like a luxury problem for someone, but that’s OK, I’m going to go with that.” It’s a key song on the album. Her voice has never sounded bigger or more emotional. “I usually do things in a few takes,” she says, “but I took a lot of takes to do that. The mood that I needed to convey was better than what I was doing. I knew it was important that I came in straight as an arrow with that one. I always feel like I’m creating a new path when I’m doing a song.” Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding. Not that Lana Del Rey has been completely reinvented on ‘Lust For Life’. The title track, the first of five collaborations on the album (no previous LDR album had ever featured a guest artist), may not come from the melancholic cool world of ‘Video Games’ or ‘Terrence Loves You’, but it’s just as nostalgic. Nostalgia can be sad and nostalgia can be happy, and at her best – and let me put it out there, I think this song could be her absolute best ever – Del Rey taps both at once. Does she agree? “I’m thinking about that. It goes in line with how I thought I was going to be in this more grown-up zone [writing this record], but actually I’m still somewhere right in the middle. When I think of that song I think of nighttime and this idea of, I don’t know, breaking into somewhere and carving up and kissing. That’s fun for me; like the place where I’m not 100 per cent in something really solid relationship-wise, where you’re still going out and meeting new people and all that stuff. And also, this Hollywood-centric environment is still an important thing that gives me life, being in town and the characters and the constant heatwave. It’s a little bit of a cliché – I totally get it; but I still feel like it enhances something in me that’s already cooking.” Hollywood and the sunshine can be quite an intoxicating cocktail really, can’t it? “It can. I’m naturally a careful person, so I like that the ambience… I wouldn’t go out and take a cocktail of pills or whatever, you know, but there’s something about the vibe of just being around that gives me a heightened feeling.” The biggest deal collaboration on the album is the duet with Fleetwood Mac legend Stevie Nicks. Del Rey says hearing her vocal takes made her re-evaluate her own tone. She was convinced Nicks would turn her down. She still speaks about it with a look of happy disbelief that it actually happened. But the most interesting duet is actually with the person who is, in their own personal right, the least famous and accomplished of everyone on the record, but by virtue of his surname, the most fascinating. “I’m a huge, huge John Lennon fan,” she says. “I didn���t know [his son] Sean. I got his number from my manager, who called his manager. I kind of was nervous about what he was going to say. I FaceTimed him – he was amazing. He was very excited.” The result is the sweetest song on the album, a tender folky ballad that gently taps through the fourth wall as they reference John and Yoko, then Del Rey sings, “Isn’t life crazy now that I’m singing with Sean”. There’s a story that goes with the song, where Del Rey calls up Lennon to tell him that she thought his part was perfect, and he says that he’s so happy because no one’s ever said that to him before. He’s John Lennon’s son, he’s lived his entire life in his father’s shadow, and Lana Del Rey has just given him his greatest ever compliment. There’s a tragedy in that, don’t you think? “Absolutely. It’s why I think it’s more than just a song for him – for both of us. He’s sensitive, you know. I assume that’s from his father and I think he would probably say that it’s been… some of his reviews have been difficult. I thought that was one of those moments on the record where it was a little bit of a ‘bigger than us’ moment. I told him, ‘I’m the one who’s honoured, I’m the lucky one; so I just want you to remember that, Sean, I’m singing with you.’” The interview goes off in lots of different directions. We talk about hanging in LA with Alex Turner and Miles Kane (“I randomly see Alex. I’ve been working with Miles”); about her deep friendship with Courtney Love (“I can call, and probably just ’cause she’s done so much crazy s**t, I can tell her something very weird and she’ll be like, ‘Been there, done that’”); her love of Kurt Cobain (“top influence other than Bob Dylan”); people watching (“I’m a weird observer”); detective novelist Raymond Chandler (“I’m a big fan, I love The Big Sleep”); and Californian independence (“I’m a proponent of keeping the country together, but it’s so its own zone it may as well be a different country.”) We end by talking about magic and the power of words. Firstly, Donald Trump. He’s still the president, which means that the hex Del Rey asked her Twitter followers to cast on February 24 hasn’t worked (yet). So did she get involved and do it herself? “Yeah, I did it. Why not? Look, I do a lot of s**t.” Do you cast other spells at home? “I’m in line with Yoko and John and the belief that there’s a power to the vibration of a thought. Your thoughts are very powerful things and they become words, and words become actions, and actions lead to physical changes.” The quirky video trailer that you did for the album (a magical Lana looking down on LA from her home in the Hollywood H, ruminating on the world and the space it takes to make a record) – it’s more than a trailer; it’s a personal manifesto, isn’t it? “There is a message. I really do believe that words are one of the last forms of magic and I’m a bit of a mystic at heart. And I’ve seen how I feel about changing those people’s lives and I’ve been on the other side of that as well – on the other side of well-wishes and on the other side of malintent. And I’ve realised how strong you have to be to be; bigger than all of it, even bigger than your own vibrations. “I like that trailer because I talk about my contribution, which is something you start to think about. I’ve got good intentions. It’s not always going to come out right – it hasn’t come out right a lot of the time – but at the core my intentions have always been so good. With the music or when I get into a relationship, it’s always just because I really want to. That’s what’s at the root of this really cute, witchy B-movie.” You make a point in the trailer of saying “in these dark times”. Is there more pressure to contribute something positive right now? “I didn’t like hearing that come out of my mouth. I have a song, ‘When The World Was At War We Kept Dancing’, and I went back and forth so many times about putting it on the record because I didn’t feel comfortable with what I was saying. I don’t like hearing myself say, ‘In error it’s the end of America’, ’cause it’s a troubling sentiment. I didn’t like saying, ‘In these dark times’ either…” We both stop recording but keep talking about the state of the world we live in. I tell her that I can see more and more artists starting to come to terms with the fact that they need to be more outspoken and opinionated. She agrees and says people need to be bold because there are consequences. For the next hour, she makes silly videos on my phone, eats a messy sandwich and helps me choose photos to send to the NME art desk. She couldn’t be less like the idea of Lana Del Rey that most people subscribe to. There’s a confidence in her that perhaps she didn’t have before, a confidence that comes, maybe, from knowing that she’s about to release her most complete album, but knowing too that there are tweaks she could have made, things she should have done differently, things she’ll make right on the next record, ideas she’ll try when she’s next in the studio with Rick. Writing, editing, discarding, rewriting, tinkering, erasing, rebuilding.

[qwertyprophecy]

Niffler Crochet Tutorial

Of sorts. Disclaimer: As a newbie crocheter, I hardly know what I’m talking about – most crocheting terms are a mystery to me, and I didn’t count my rows or anything – but if you want a vague step-by-step guide for making this Niffler, keep reading.

BASICS

Yarn: Should be woolly and chunky. I used 6mm “Essentials Alpaca Blend Chunky” by Rico Design (50% acrylic, 30% wool, 20% alpaca - very soft!), black and light brown. They had a nice pinkish one too but I decided to dye the nose instead to get that gradient. (I also used a second black yarn for the fur but more on that later.)

Hook: 4.5mm for the main body, 3.5 for the paws. You might want to go for a smaller hook or thicker yarn to avoid holes, honestly. The 4.5 is a bit too big but it was the only one I used to own.

Whole thing is in single stitch unless otherwise noted.

DIAGRAM

First, to keep track of the sizes of the various parts, I drew side and top views of the Niffler. (Please ignore the weird lines and numbers – just a failed attempt to keep track of rows.)

Then it’s possible to keep crocheting without worrying about stitch count. Just check every now and then that you’re on the right track in terms of width.

You can use my diagram, or improve upon it. For reference, I was mostly looking at this pic since that’s the pose I wanted:

BODY

1. Start at the tip of the tail with a magic loop, as few stitches as possible. Increase on every row according to the diagram.

2. To make the tail curl, keep increasing on the bottom side of the tail, but decrease on the top.

3. Then keep increasing on every row to match your diagram. Mostly evenly, but to create a full tummy, increase more rapidly on the top part. And so on.

NOTE ON STUFFING:

You’ll want to start stuffing your Niffler with filling early on, before the opening gets too small. Of course, the Niffler being black, regular white stuffing will shine through the holes. Use black stuffing, or line the insides with black cloth (ideally something soft like velvet) before adding white stuffing.

4. When you reach this point (red line):

Instead of completing your row, turn around on the second-to-last stitch and crochet backwards. When reaching the last stitch of the old row, turn around again. Keep turning around to fill those missing rows (blue lines on diagram). Once you’ve ran out of stitches, do a row of normal stitches on top of the weird hole-y row you’ve made. (Now, I’m sure there’s a proper name for this technique, I sort of co-opted it from a sock heel tutorial. My crocheting knowledge is a bit rubbish)

Also remember to keep following the curve of the back by decreasing a stitch every now and then.

5. Do another round of that technique to get your rows lined up correctly.

6. Once you get to the top of the head, stuff the rest of the Niffler, decrease rapidly and tie it all off.

FACE

Now, I pretty much winged this part, but the general idea is this:

Take a look at a reference picture and figure out where on the finished body base your Niffler’s face should be. Still using black yarn, crochet an outline of the face. To get a base for some nice puffy cheeks, do couple rounds under the cheeks (black lines on diagram), decreasing appropriately. (I slipknotted under the snout; I suppose you could also cut the yarn.)

Switch to brown yarn and do two flat circles as the areas around the eyes, and an outline for the snout (beige lines on diagram). Put in a bit of stuffing and keep going with the snout.

To help the snout keep its shape, I cut up a small piece of foam and put that inside instead of stuffing.

Once the snout is at correct lenght, you should have maybe 8 stitches remaining. Press them against each other (4 against 4) and tie them off.

Finally, sew on buttons for eyes.

LEGS AND ARMS

Made as separate pieces, stitched into the body afterwards.

1. Start with the sole of the foot. This is how it should look like. Each toe is a 3 stitch long chain tied off at the end.

2. On the side, it looks like this. It’s not very visible, but the brown foot continues underneath the black leg – it’s like a pocket, shut off at the end (where it says “attach”). This is to give the foot some three-dimensionality, when the rows next to the toes are flat.

3. Switch to black yarn and crochet a circle around the ankle of the foot piece.

4. The calf is a simple widening tube – as always, just roughly follow the diagram, increasing appropriately. Keep checking the leg against the body to achieve correct proportions.

5. To turn at the knee, use the technique explained in step 4 of the body.

6. Once you’ve done the wide bit of the thigh, decrease quickly and tie it off. Use the remaining yarn to stitch the leg into the body of your Niffler.

Same thing with the arms, except the hand looks like this:

Instead of the pocket thing, just crochet a whole round, and close the hole by stitching it onto the palm. Then switch to black yarn and make the arm.

POUCH

Make a flat pocket the size of your Niffler’s tummy. Attach to Niffler. Ta-dah.

FUR

Now comes the ridiculously time-consuming part.

1. Cut up a ~5cm piece of yarn.

2. Loop it through a stitch on your Niffler and fasten it off. If you do it from the correct side, the yarn strands should follow the natural direction of the fur.

3. Repeat 1-2 ad nauseam until the Niffler looks ready for a punk concert.

NOTE: I only added fur to the head and tail, as it quickly turned out covering the whole creature would take forever. Those are the important bits though.

NOTE ON YARN: I had another type of yarn I experimented with for the fur. I lost the label but it’s the the kind with stuff sticking from it:

I put about 4 strands of this per stitch, here and there. It had a rather nice fuzzy sheen, and I thought using two types of yarn gives the end result a bit of a scruffy, natural look; but honestly, it’s probably not worth buying a whole new ball of yarn.

4. Take a comb and run it through the mess of yarn so that the individual strands separate. This’ll work best with a loose sort of yarn.

5. Now for the fun part: giving the Niffler a haircut. With small scissors and a reference picture on hand, cut the fur down to appropriate lenght.

NOTE: It might be easier to work on a small bit at a time, instead of adding all the fur at once before cutting it down.

6. Here’s a trick to make the knitted part match together better with the furry part: Take your comb and rub it against the un-furred surfaces. If you’re working with woollen yarn, it should start breaking down, making it slightly fuzzy. This covers up the stitch texture a little so it looks a bit more like fur (at least in my opinion).

DYING THE SNOUT

To give the snout its pinkish hue, I diluted red and magenta watercolours, dabbed it on and let it try. You could probably use proper dye for better permanence, but as long as the Niffler doesn’t go swimming, watercolour’s fine.

---

And there you have it: your very own Niffler. Ready for cuddles, bank heists, and biting Dolores Umbridge on the nose.

IMPROVEMENTS

When I make more Nifflers with this pattern, I’ll definitely change some things. Here’s a couple of suggestions:

1. The tail a bit too big on the original diagram. The whole bit could be moved closer towards the body.

2. The eyes are are a tad too low. Be careful when positioning the face outline.

3. Don’t cut the fur too short. The knot will not hold and then you’ll have Niffler shedding all over your bed.

4. The fingers and toes curl a lot. Looks cute, but only when it’s curling in the right direction. Otherwise there’s this whole Gnarlack vibe going which is... less nice. I’m not really sure how to fix this, but there must be a way.

Happy crocheting!

P.S. If you do make a Niffler, please link me some photos! I want to see an army of nifflers. a world covered in nifflers. that is my dream

Oh yeah and tagging to make sure the people asking for a pattern see this: @shelbylynnmarie @butterfleeee @servicedoodle @lawonsie @secretlyaravenclaw-blog @alycexthraina @bluecat158 @potterwhovian98 @knittingknerdy @beanie117​ @mskastiel

[withasmoothroundstone]

This is a bit long so I put a TL;DR summary at end of post, entire paragraph in bold type, just before the footnotes.  Image description follows:

Black-and-white photo from a magazine, of six kids, a policeman, and the kids’ dog, in front of a car with bullet holes in the back of it. The caption reads:

OUT LOOKING FOR EXCITEMENT, six boys aged 8 to 13 and dog “Butch” from a Bakersfield, Calif., slum called “Billy Goat Acres” stole a car, wrecked it, stole another and wrecked it.  In a third car they roared into Los Angeles at 95 mph pursued by police who pumped 11 shots into it (see trunk) before it halted.  Expecting to find desperadoes, police learned they had captured the scared but unhurt Billy Goat Acres Mob.

From my dad’s memoirs:

One day Francis, Joan and I came into the house after throwing rocks in the river.  The river was only about 100 yards behind our house.  We went into the living room where Mom and some relatives were gathered.  They were passing around a copy of Life Magazine.  The item of interest was a fullpaged picture with the title “The Billy Goat Acres Mob”.  Grandma Rowland exclaimed, “How could they treat those children that way?”  Other similar comments followed from those present:  “Look at the expression on the policeman’s face.” “Just look at those bullet holes!”

Billy Goat Acres was a poor neighborhood in Bakersfield.  Some kids from there had stolen a car and taken it for a joyride.  They crossed over the mountains towards Mojave and near Tehachapi they ran the car into a ditch.  They stole another car and ran it out of gas.  The 3rd car they stole, near Mojave, was a Chrysler.  They made a wrong turn and ended up in Los Angeles where the joyride turned into speeding, running red lights and general reckless driving.  The California Highway Patrol gave chase and when the car wouldn’t pull over, they started shooting.  The kids ran through 2 roadblocks and when the car finally stopped the kids were unloaded from the car.  When I saw the picture I was surprised to see that the driver of the car was my 12-year-old cousin Howard McAbee and that he was the oldest in the group.

When I looked it up online, this photo was attributed to Time Magazine, not Life.  Of course, it’s quite possible that both ran the photo and the story at the time.  My mom’s memoirs say she remembers reading about this and having no idea that any of the kids would turn out to be related to her future husband.  Howard (my dad’s cousin) is the kid on the far left.

One thing I love about my parents’ memoirs (they sent them to me as a birthday present one year -- hands down the best present I’ve ever received from them at any time in my life) is that they interweave a lot of history into them.  Born in 1941 and 1946, there’s a lot of things about their lives that are very different from life now, and a lot of events they lived through that I didn’t realize we had any close ties to.  And then there were things like this...

Anyway I love reading about who my parents were before they met each other and became parents.  For reference, the above events happened in 1952.

If you are a parent, make serious thought of writing or otherwise conveying (like through art of some kind) a memoir for your children.  You don’t have to make it public.  It doesn’t have to be long and detailed, it can be anything, really, that you want to do and are capable of doing.  But I pretty much guarantee most kids will be fascinated by this stuff, unless they’re that age when anything about parents becomes embarrassing or something, or unless they have such a bad relationship with you that it would just remind them of that (but you never know, really).  Certainly I am thrilled that my father wrote this, and wrote some partial family history too (that my mom is supposed to finish for him because he died before he could finish, but left her his notes).  And that my mother wrote hers.  Their voices come across loud and clear.

And don’t worry, mom -- I won’t be posting anything from yours unless I ask you first and you say it’s okay, I know how much you value your privacy and you wrote about some pretty intense personal stuff at times.  I know this was okay with Ron, and also he’s dead and therefore unlikely to be embarrassed.  Plus it’s not like I’m posting the entire thing, just parts, and always parts that wouldn’t cause problems for anyone.  Anyway, one thing I love about reading both of the memoirs together, is the way each of their individual personalities and interests become clear not just from the stories, but from what they choose to write about and the way their very different writing styles convey who they are.  

Additionally, these memoirs will outlive their authors, even though they are not published.  My father is dead, but I can always go back to his memoirs to get a glimpse of him.  I am glad that he decided to write it long before he got cancer -- by which point he was working on a novelized version of our family history involving the Okie migration, and he never finished that.  But this is something I’ll always have to remember him by.  I have talked about other ways I remember him (such as wearing his clothes or clothes very similar to his clothes, every single day, and wearing his beard hair in a floating locket around my neck).  But this is a way to remember his ideas about the world, and his life experiences, and it’s wonderful.

To me, history is less about the huge events, and more about the people who get wrapped up in everyday life, whether they have any connection to the large-scale events or not.  Not that the large-scale events aren’t important, but they’re only as important as the effect they have on ordinary people.  So I love reading the memoirs of ordinary people, even when they aren’t related to me or known t me in any way.  

Some other time I’ll post what my dad wrote about the atomic bomb testing and its mild but nonetheless terrifying effects on his everyday life, as well as the severe effects it had on a close relative who was one of the low-ranking military men who were used as guinea pigs in atomic bomb experiments.  This is a good example of a huge event that’s known to history already, but seen from the perspectives of ordinary people who were affected by it, rather than it being an abstract and dry piece of information more to do with how it connected with lofty world politics stuff (which is, itself, highly important, but is not the only important thing, is what I mean here) than how it affected regular people.

But also, no less important, are the basics of everyday life for people like my parents, and how they and their relatives saw the world.  (If you ever plan to write something like this, it’d be really great if you incorporated information that goes back before you were born (or before you were adopted, if you know more about your adoptive family than your birth family).  It gives the perspectives of adults in your life at the time, and also sets the stage for exactly what was going on in the family and elsewhere when you came into the world.  Hearing my dad talking about having to be taught how to use a flush toilet because the whole idea was new to him, and the culture shock of moving from a one-room schoolhouse to a more typical public school(1).  

I didn’t intend this post to be so long and get into so many different topics.  I haven’t been writing lately -- of any kind -- very much, because of a huge crochet project I’m working on when I’m awake and have free time.  I just got through with the lichen (it turned out beautiful, and all done without a pattern).  So when I do write, often I either can barely write anything at all and my brain just stalls and refuses to write much, or else I write something very long and my brain stalls in the other direction and can’t condense it into something concise.  As I’ve said many times before, with my receptive language difficulties it’s just as hard for me to read my own posts as other long posts are.  Which is really annoying when proofreading -- I catch spelling errors, especially if my computer points them out to me, but I don’t catch entirely wrong or missing words and things like that because it’s too hard to read with meaning.

TL;DR: My dad’s cousin was a car thief at the age of 12!  It made it into Time Magazine (my dad said  Life Magazine, so maybe it was there too, or maybe he got the names mixed up), and I posted the picture, and then my father’s recollection of when he first saw the picture.  Then I discussed my parents’ memoirs and the way ordinary people’s lives are my favorite way to learn about history.  Also noted that my parents’ memoirs were hands-down my lifetime favorite birthday present and that if at all feasible it’s a great idea for parents to do this for their children.  Most children (especially older children and adults, I suspect, but you could also write something in simpler language with lots of pictures, for younger kids, and they’d probably be interested too) would be both curious and thrilled by this kind of thing.

FOOTNOTES

(1) In America, public school means a school funded entirely by the government.  By default, most kids are put into public schools.  Private schools are schools you have to pay for, and are generally either for upper-middle-class and rich kids, but also are sometimes for middle-class and working-class kids whose families may take out loans and go into debt or do other things to make it possible for them to attend.  Then there’s homeschooling, and unschooling, and religious schools (which I think are usually private but not sure), and nonpublic schools (what my special ed school was called in California), and I keep hearing about school vouchers but I have no clue what that means.  

I’m specifying the meaning of public school because public school means something entirely different in some countries.  More like what we’d call private schools here in America -- schools for well-to-do kids and sometimes kids who are not so well-to-do but get there because of loans or scholarships or financial aid or something.

[espytalks]

some ideas about carter and his family (some details may change as i learn more about things, and how to go about them)

Carter is an only child, raised by a single mother

He would help his mom in the shop after school and on weekends. he enjoyed helping her, and he learned how to knit and crochet at a very early age.

She treated carter very well growing up. She did her best to be a good mother, and he turned out alright.

I don’t have definite names for his parents yet, but their last name is tonkins. (it’s based on the name of an actual cat breed, the tonkinese. i chose it mainly because it sounded like a good last name. feel free to look it up though. they’re some nice cats.)

the placeholder names are margaret and kevin.

margaret and kevin met when they were young adults. they were very attracted to each other, and rushed into a relationship. 

Kevin had and still has anger issues. he would get mad and argue when things didn’t go his way, and arguments with margaret would sometimes get physical.

Margaret loved Kevin, and believed she could “fix him” and his anger problems. she dealt with the abuse, because aside from that she thought he was a good person. That if she loved him enough, he could change.

Within a year of them being married, they had a child. things got stressful for them both after that.

Kevin had a hard time getting and keeping jobs. they were able to manage with what he could get, and the shop, but only barely. 

The breaking point in thier relationship came a few years into thier marrage. the anger issues kept getting worse. He would hit her more often than not.

she kept at it until one day carter got hurt. not very severely, but enough to make him cry. (he was very young. i’d say around 4)

She had enough. she took carter and left kevin. it took some effort, a lot of pain and tears and heartbreak, and encouragement from her friends, but eventually she broke off all ties with him, and divorced him. She may have gotten a restraining order at some point, but i’m debating that.

She never told carter what happened. he asked, but she told him she’d tell him when he’s older. She passed away without telling him, when carter was around 20 years old. 

he had stopped asking at some point, because he could see the topic bothered her.

Margaret died of a genetic disease that runs in her side of the family. ( i want to keep this part very vague, if possible.) Carter knows it’s genetic, and is scared that he has it, too. 

He eventually tells becky about this, because it’s hindering him getting too into thier relationship. it takes a lot of convincing to get him to admit this. 

after this, they get tests done, and the results come back negative. he’ll live.

also in their relationship, the topic of carter’s dad gets brought up. Becky knew margaret very well, because she spent a lot of time over at carter’s house when they were kids, but she never knew or asked what happened to carter’s dad.

she brings up the idea of finding his dad. carter is curious, and after some convincing, he hires a private investigator to find his dad.

I’m not too sure yet about the rest of this, but Kevin is alive. the rest is some thoughts, and could change drastically as i figure it out.

Kevin lives in  a small, cheap apartment. he has a sitty job, but a somewhat stable one, and makes enough to live, plus enough to support his drinking habits. (him being an alcoholic may change)

he may have tried at some point to get close to his kid when they first separated. this may have been why margaret got a restraining order. I don’t know how that works though, so i may have to look up info on that to see if that would mean carter wouldn’t be able to meet his dad in the future. (the weird things ya google for reference, amirite?)

carter doesn’t go alone to meet him. he brings becky.

i have vague ideas of how the conversation might go. my most clear idea is the climax of the visit, where carter blows up at him, telling kevin off for what he did to the two of them. He even goes as far as calling him an asshole, which shocks becky completely, because carter doesn’t curse. (he stutters and hesitates at this, too. it’s not an easy choice to make, but he feels it justified at the time. he regrets this for several years, despite becky telling him she’d say the same.)

Everything goes quiet at that point. Kevin looks furious, Becky is shocked, and carter had started crying halfway through his rant, and is trying to look mad but he’s crying too hard to look intimidating.

I want there to be some sort of redemption for kevin at this point, but that may change. He lets out a breath, leans back, and admits his faults. like, he sounds genuinely sorry for what he did, and he really did love margaret. He didn’t even know she was dead. 

(carter brought the blanket, which was made after she died. it’s a story that doesn’t fit with what i’m talking about right now, and requires some explanation first. carter brings this up in his rant though.)

after kevin tells his side of the story, and asks for forgiveness, carter could choose to trust him, or becky could convince him that kevin could be lying to get sympathy from him, and they should just leave.

abuse could be a sore spot for becky, and after finding out how margaret was treated, she’d be mad at kevin, and wouldn’t want to forgive him. 

if they leave him, he’s out of the story for good. it doesn’t get brought up, and carter doesn’t feel good about the whole thing. becky tries to help justify this, but carter feels guilty, and betrayed by his father. He wouldn’t want to hate kevin, despite what he did.

If carter chooses to forgive him, Carter agrees to help Kevin with his anger issues, and substance abuse, and gets him the help he needed decades ago. 

Kevin would be an actually good person, underneath his tough exterior. it’s what margaret fell in love with, but she didn’t know how to actually bring that out.

it’d be a very tough journey, and there’d be many setbacks, but after years of hard work, Carter would finally have a good relationship with his dad, and becky would learn to forgive him, too. 

becky trusts carter, and she would stay with him despite this choice, but it does affect their relationship at first. she’d mainly be mad at kevin, though.

maybe i’m just a sucker for happy endings, and i believe in people being good more than what is realistic, but i like the idea of carter befriending his dad. Everyone has a reason for acting out, and being who they are. Not everything is black and white. And the idea of someone, with the help of people who care about them, becoming a better person, sounds like a very nice idea to me.

[dcnativegal]

Church shopping, Part 3

In The Color Purple, the character Shug tells Celie, …”have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for him to show. Any God I ever felt in church in brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God.”

I remind myself of this as I climb the five steps to the little clapboard church in Paisley most Sundays. The other motto I think of most often is from Alcoholics Anonymous: Take what you like and leave the rest.

This morning, feeling under the weather but nevertheless committed to going the 3 blocks to Paisley Community Church, it was snowing big fluffy flakes. I walked carefully in my big boots and still I went DOWN with a thud about halfway there. Under the puffy snow was a clear layer of ice on the asphalt. Ow. I breathed deep and got myself up, and in 10 feet I went down again. OW. My left knee was unhappy and I already was feeling rough. I debated whether to just lie there and call Valerie to pick me up. But then I thought, by the time she got here, someone would have noticed me and offered to help me up. Which, suddenly, was a comforting thought. If not the first then the second would for sure respond to a bright blue-coated figure lying in the snow. I decided to get my ass up, walk over to the crusty part of the street and walk ever so slowly the rest of the way. I could hear the bell ring, and I knew I had a few minutes. In I went, and sat heavily in the back row where I always sit. (I sit and crochet during the sermon to keep me focused and to work off the dissonance in my head as I listen to evangelical style preaching. It really helps. )

I was glad I made it. My friend, the rancher’s wife, was in the back row and she greeted me warmly. I was glad to be there so I could offer up a prayer request for Valerie’s son, Jer, who was helping someone who’d slid off the road when another car slid off the road and hit the car and him. Thank goodness its only his knee. But he’s a ranch hand. He’ll be off his leg at least a month. I also learned that the rancher himself has a rather serious condition, so I can pray for him, too, along with the assembled. And lastly I was grateful for one metaphor in the sermon. The guy pastor, who flings around bible verses like Valerie flings hay to the cows, mentioned the very strong very old very tall trees on the coast of California, the redwoods, who do not have taproots. Apparently, their roots travel over hundreds of feet, and grasp onto the roots of other redwoods. And when a big wind off the pacific coast comes whooshing, they hold onto each other.

Kinda like the millions of women who gathered all over the world to protest Trump and to energize for peace.

Nice. Very nice.

Of the hymns, one was lovely. The others… not to my taste. I’m trying to expand my taste, I really am. But I’m also emailing hymns to our pastors, hymns like this one, which the guy pastor can play on his guitar, with the words displayed on the wall, next to the portrait of Jesus as a tall foreheaded Northern European dude: (I’m pretty sure he was a shorter darker Jewish dude)

 Be thou my vision, o Lord of my heart

Naught be all else to me, save that though art

Thou my best thought, by day or by night,

Waking or sleeping, thy presence my light…  

(Irish traditional hymn, the words dating from 6th century or 8th century depending on the scholar)

 I’ve decided that this is my church community. Valerie and I have chosen to live in Paisley, so imbed myself in Paisley life is the way I want to live. I don’t want to drive an hour to hang out with the Methodists or Presbyterians in Lakeview, while the tiny Episcopal Church looks for a new vicar. What I will do is hit up an Episcopal Church whenever I’m in a big enough city to find one. It was a great comfort to worship in Reno NV after dropping off the kids at the airport in November. I hope to attend the one in Klamath Falls next Sunday because we’ll be there. Otherwise, it’s PCC (Paisley Community Church.)

I have never attended a church where I know for a fact that people there “disagree with homosexuality” but still proclaim they can “love” me. One of the members, younger than me, actually said that to me. A small group of us were sitting sideways in the pews chatting after a service. My friend the rancher’s wife decided to have a brief discussion with the copastors who are married. Something about the rancorous quality of civil discourse in the presidential campaign that we were all suffering through. (It had to be October.)  About six of us, and the pastors, talked about the candidates, and the pastors diplomatically did not reveal their preference, although half of us were pro Trump and half pro Hillary, near as I could tell. At some point, the rancher’s wife encouraged me to talk, or perhaps I just felt her support, and so I said something to the effect of, I don’t really feel safe here, as an out lesbian, but I’m attending, and I’m giving this church a chance. One of the straight women said she felt very supported as a single mother, and that she has a gay brother that she does not fear for. (She’s a trump supporter.) Another said she too has a gay brother (she’s a progressive. In fact, today, she said to me quietly, “great day on Saturday, wasn’t it?” referring to the millions of women and men globally protesting trump. Yes, it was indeed.)

One of the men there, who is a son of a very conservative pair of Paisley residents, said to me, I disagree with homosexuality but I can love you as a sister in Christ. I looked at him, hiding my cringe at the words “disagree” and “homosexuality”. But I thanked him anyway. At least he wasn’t condemning me to hell at the top of his lungs.  I did NOT say that God made me this way, there is nothing with which to agree or disagree, and no one LGBT uses the word homosexuality.

Basically I said, I’m here with y’all, giving you the benefit of the doubt, and coming in all humility, though not because my gayness is a sin, but that I, too, am broken, and seek wholeness in community. To share God. That seemed to be cool. Okay then.

I think I’ll skip the service with special guests who are missionaries to Africa. I’m afraid my blood pressure will soar…

I have found additional sources of church in the home of one Toni Bailie. She is a massage therapist and a Soul Collage facilitator. I’d never heard of Soul Collage, and now I participate in it once a month upon a Saturday after a delicious potluck meal. It’s a form of art therapy, kind of.  Toni scatters cut out pictures by the hundreds, all over her living room and dining room and kitchen. After a meditation together on a theme, we wander about and gather images that speak to us. Then we construct cards with glue and scissors. When we’re done, we go around the circle and explain that  “I am the one that… “ trying to share why these images spoke to us.

On New Years Eve, we gathered for Soul Collage and came up with mandalas for the new year. Mine is shared here. My wish is to be centered in my body, unselfconscious, healthy, joyfully eating and moving. I am the monkey at the center of an abundance of bananas, looking pleased. Turns out that, here I am, week 4 of the new year, on a clear liquid diet because of medication-induced pancreatitis. I may be forced into strict eating from now on, and hopefully it will become a joyful thing. At the moment, I am hungrier than I’ve ever felt, going into my 4th day of broth and watered down juice. That deep rumbling and gurgling you hear is my tummy.

Toni gathered a group of us on the day of the Women’s March, and we 4 marched around her double wide with drums. I felt silly for about 2 seconds, as I held and shook my rattles, following her.  But then it felt sacred and right. We were marching along with millions of other women on the planet in that moment. We spent the rest of the afternoon looking at Soul Collage cards and gathering up our courage, commitment, creativity, and strength for the years ahead.

Toni has a real gift of gathering women into what I call church. The other thing I do at Toni’s house is share what I’ve written for this blog, and listen to other women’s writings, twice a month in a gathering called the Easy Writers. Amazing, smart, tough, hilarious, experienced women. The average age might be 70, as there is a writer in her 90s. I am in the presence of crones, of wise grandmother’s. Twice a month. It is a sacrament: an outward and visible sign of an inward invisible grace. The grace of women’s wisdom.

So church doesn’t look like I thought it would. But I think I’m right where I’m supposed to be, for Paisley, Lake County, Oregon, at this time. I deeply miss my old church community, with its music from all parts of the world, with people committed to justice in their lives and in their professions, with a grand sanctuary that now has a labyrinth etched in the concrete floor that is so old and polished it looks like marble.

But I carry church within me and recognize it when it appears and I expand into it whether it’s in a tiny evangelical congregation or a group of sage-burning hippy grandmothers. Heart of my own heart, whatever befall, still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

Alice Walker:

“I think us here to wonder, myself. To wonder. To ask. And that in wondering bout the big things and asking bout the big things, you learn about the little ones, almost by accident. But you never know nothing more about the big things than you start out with. The more I wonder, the more I love.”

#worship #church #crones #womenswisdom #soulcollage

[proffloristsus]

Top 6 Florists Short Stories Of Inspiration

Inspirational Stories From Real Florists

We surveyed florists all over the world and gathered our Top 6 floral inspirational stories. It was not an easy task and we thank everyone who participated. So, with the busy Mother’s Day now over, why not grab yourself a cup of coffee, your favorite snack and take a moment to read these real florists short stories.

  image via pexels.com

My Grandmother And Her Garden –  Tarah

Every summer at Gramma’s house all my life has been full of ‘Purdy Flowers’ – as she pronounces it. Not a single corner of her yard is without a flowerbed and there are always hummingbirds and songbirds from dawn till dusk.

Every summer has always lead up to fair time. Gramma has competed in the local fairs for decades. I must add that Gramma almost always takes home Grand Champion prizes in every department she enters; crochet, canned goods, baked goods, photography, poultry, rabbits, goats, potted plants, vegetables, and my very favorite… cut flowers and floral arrangements! (she competes in the expert division). I just loved going out in the morning the day the flowers had to be entered and searching for the prettiest most uniform blossoms of each variety, cutting them in threes (for the holy trinity she said) and filling her kitchen with every kind of flower you could imagine surviving in Montana.

We filled jars and cups by the dozens with special cut flower elixir she made with soda pop, picked the best of every category for the cut flower division and prepared them for fair. Then the fun part, bouquet making! All of the flowers left that had been cut that morning (Gramma calls them the ‘reject flowers’) went into our bouquets, we got to use the pretty little vases she keeps in her curio cabinet for these.

Every year Gramma would set aside a beautiful old Victorian boot shaped porcelain vase, I’d always make a monochromatic arrangement with it in pink just specifically so I can put her chenille flowers into cascade down the side of the boot. One of Gramma’s favorite flowers is a petunia so there are always plenty in any pink or purple, double or single. We’d always make an ‘arrangement in white’ in her milk glass and hobnob vases, a great place for lots and lots of her adorable feverfew flowers! We had so much fun making our little bouquets, it’s always a day full of laughter! By far my fondest summer memories are during fair time with Gramma; spending the day playing with flowers and eating the ‘reject cookies’ that didn’t make the cut for fair.

She is my hero, my favorite person in the whole world, such an inspiration in every way in every part of my life. My little shop features many of her handcrafted treasures from her crochet work and beaded jewelry to her fresh baked goodies, and her canned jams and pickles (everyone loves these pickles!)

The biggest drawback to my shop ironically is that for the last handful of years since I opened I haven’t been out at my Gramma’s making bouquets in her kitchen for the fair…. So, I want to thank you for you’re putting this survey in your newsletter. I needed to remember why I wanted a shop in the first place, who’s garden started this. I think I’ll make a bouquet and take it to my Gramma’s and get our fair schedule set for this summer.

  image via pexels.com

Designers Choice – Harlins Renaissance -Shinese Harlins, Owner

I started my business at the moment in my life where a choice had to be made. I was laid off from a job. No money, no choices – so I took my savings and went to Phil Rulloda Floral University and received my floral certificate.

It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Being a florist allow me to use my creativity side. There is no color line – just balance, and harmony. I love when a customer loves the outcome. They come back. And when they say “designers choice”, my heart skips a beat!

  image via pexels.com

Flowers Touch Lives – Val Voigt- Detroit Lakes Floral 

A young man calls and would like to know prices on roses. He is going to bring his girlfriend some flowers. He places an order to be picked up. He arrives at the flower shop. He is so excited to bring his girl some beautiful roses.

In two weeks, he calls again and places another order for roses. He arrives at the flower shop. This time I ask him what is the name of this special girl? He smiles from ear to ear and tells me her name and how they met. She loved the first order of roses and now he says she will be very surprised and happy with the second order. He thanks me over and over for our service and says he will be back in two more weeks for some more roses.

That’s why I love the floral business. It touches people’s lives. We meet people and get the privilege of being a part of special events and moments in time.

  image via pexels.com

My Dream – Cynthia Dearnbarger – Flourish Flowers & Gifts, Old Town, Lewisville, TX

A dream in the making….

Years and years ago, I dreamed of opening a flower shop. I had completely forgotten about that dream, so many other things had taken priority and it was gone. Recently I have begun to dream again. God brought back this specific dream!

I am currently in the process of opening a storefront! The building is under construction and we are currently at our local farmers market, getting our name out to the community! Our hope is to bring life, love, compassion and hope to every person who gets an arrangement, bouquet or gift!

  image via pexels.com

 Love Conquers All – Cheryl Bakin-Parkway Florist

I was hired as an after-school high school helper during my junior year in high school. Because of the values instilled in me by my Dad, I knew that I had to be on time, and do my very best each day. I walked to the flower shop, which was inside the first Indoor shopping mall in the Pittsburgh area.

My boss was an older lady who was impressed that I showed each day on time, and tried to do and get done everything she assigned me to do. She kept me on after the Christmas holiday and began to teach me things, bow making, botanical, common names of flowers and plants and many other items large and small.

She instilled in me (or maybe brought out in me) a love for the beauty of flowers, and a desire to help others realize their dreams thru weddings, pretty everyday bouquets, and funerals. She taught me that education was very important, and to try to think out of the box.

After leaving the flower business at age 19, and going to work for corporate America for the next 20 years, I still kept my hand in the flower business and attempted to gain all the education — both flower and business — that I could. In 1987, I bought my flower shop. October 2017 will record a 30-year milestone of shop ownership.

That early training, as well as the fulfillment of my own dream of owning my own business, has helped me to mentor other people and get them onto a path where they can fulfill their dreams. Sometimes it is thru educational opportunities; Sometimes thru mentoring and being a good listener; sometimes it is being a trainer…….or just a role model.

In all cases, I try to always remember what my Dad and my first flower shop boss taught me……..”Kindness never goes out of fashion. Lead by example. Listen to all comments and critics. Be hardworking in all areas of your life, and you will succeed. And finally, Love conquers All”.

  image via pexels.com

A Final Goodbye – anonymous

During my late teens, I had a cocker spaniel that meant the world to me. After a couple of years, I forced to give my beloved dog up due to family members allergy. A family friend had found a good home for him in town about 40 minutes away from where I resided.  I was, to say the least, devastated and would have done anything and everything to keep him.  As time went on and now me in my mid 20’s, already set in my floral career I often thought of ways to kidnap my beloved dog from the family I gave him too. The issue here was I only knew what town he was in and not so much the house. I knew how irrational it was to try to kidnap my dog back, however, I just never felt a sense of closure or like I said goodbye.

As years passed  I never let go of the awful sadness of giving my dog away. Although the sadness was not as profound, it was always with me and made me feel like I failed him. After 10 years in the floral industry, I decided to open my floral business and was super excited to finally be a flower shop owner.  This was a great and overwhelming time in my life, I was very busy and focused.

Much to my surprise, I was also getting many bookings for weddings and one in particular which was referred by a customer. This customer was booking flowers for her daughter’s upcoming wedding in June. After 6 months or so her daughter’s wedding was finally here. I sent off the delivery driver to deliver the reception floral centerpieces and went to deliver the floral bouquets, corsages, and boutonnieres to the bride who was at her mom’s house for pictures. Upon arriving I had, which was hard to explain a very airy feeling. I could not put my finger on it at this time. I was invited in and asked to stay and eat something. Which I did, not sure why, most of the time I just want to deliver the flowers and get as fast as possible, but something kept me there.

After many conversations, the bride’s mother mentioned she had a lab who was at the groomers, then she proceeded to say she used to have a cocker spaniel who had passed a few years back.  At this moment it all came together for me. This was the family that took my beloved dog, Crazy, I know but I felt it way deep inside. I asked her where she got the cocker spaniel, “from a young girl who a family member that was allergic.” She then proceeded to take me into her bedroom to show me my beloved dogs ashes in a beautiful box which sat on her nightstand. At that moment she handed me the ashes and said this is him. I tried hard to hold back my tears I could finally say goodbye to my beloved dog.  I realized then he was so dearly loved and had family and no longer felt as if I had failed him or was a failure.  The lesson it thought me was that not all decisions in life are ones we make. Choosing the floral industry was a decision I made and one that shows me I’m where I need to be every day.I realized then he was so dearly loved and had family and I no longer felt as if I had failed him or was a failure.  The lesson it taught me was that not all decisions in life are ones we make. Choosing the floral industry was a decision I made and one that shows me I’m where I need to be every day.

I realized then he was so dearly loved and had family and I no longer felt as if I had failed him or was a failure.  The lesson it taught me was that not all decisions in life are ones we make. Choosing the floral industry was a decision I made and one that shows me I’m where I need to be every day.

Florists, do you have an inspirational story to tell?  What keeps you in the floral industry? Please share your thoughts and feedback in the comment section below. If you have any questions please post below as well!

____________

Floranext makes great florist software. Florist websites, floral POS, florist wedding/event proposal software, and florist technology. Let us know if you want a free demo or try our software for free here.

Top 6 Florists Short Stories Of Inspiration published first on YouTube

[mikaylacollie]

Top 6 Florists Short Stories Of Inspiration

Inspirational Stories From Real Florists

We surveyed florists all over the world and gathered our Top 6 floral inspirational stories. It was not an easy task and we thank everyone who participated. So, with the busy Mother’s Day now over, why not grab yourself a cup of coffee, your favorite snack and take a moment to read these real florists short stories.

  image via pexels.com

My Grandmother And Her Garden –  Tarah

Every summer at Gramma’s house all my life has been full of ‘Purdy Flowers’ – as she pronounces it. Not a single corner of her yard is without a flowerbed and there are always hummingbirds and songbirds from dawn till dusk.

Every summer has always lead up to fair time. Gramma has competed in the local fairs for decades. I must add that Gramma almost always takes home Grand Champion prizes in every department she enters; crochet, canned goods, baked goods, photography, poultry, rabbits, goats, potted plants, vegetables, and my very favorite… cut flowers and floral arrangements! (she competes in the expert division). I just loved going out in the morning the day the flowers had to be entered and searching for the prettiest most uniform blossoms of each variety, cutting them in threes (for the holy trinity she said) and filling her kitchen with every kind of flower you could imagine surviving in Montana.

We filled jars and cups by the dozens with special cut flower elixir she made with soda pop, picked the best of every category for the cut flower division and prepared them for fair. Then the fun part, bouquet making! All of the flowers left that had been cut that morning (Gramma calls them the ‘reject flowers’) went into our bouquets, we got to use the pretty little vases she keeps in her curio cabinet for these.

Every year Gramma would set aside a beautiful old Victorian boot shaped porcelain vase, I’d always make a monochromatic arrangement with it in pink just specifically so I can put her chenille flowers into cascade down the side of the boot. One of Gramma’s favorite flowers is a petunia so there are always plenty in any pink or purple, double or single. We’d always make an ‘arrangement in white’ in her milk glass and hobnob vases, a great place for lots and lots of her adorable feverfew flowers! We had so much fun making our little bouquets, it’s always a day full of laughter! By far my fondest summer memories are during fair time with Gramma; spending the day playing with flowers and eating the ‘reject cookies’ that didn’t make the cut for fair.

She is my hero, my favorite person in the whole world, such an inspiration in every way in every part of my life. My little shop features many of her handcrafted treasures from her crochet work and beaded jewelry to her fresh baked goodies, and her canned jams and pickles (everyone loves these pickles!)

The biggest drawback to my shop ironically is that for the last handful of years since I opened I haven’t been out at my Gramma’s making bouquets in her kitchen for the fair…. So, I want to thank you for you’re putting this survey in your newsletter. I needed to remember why I wanted a shop in the first place, who’s garden started this. I think I’ll make a bouquet and take it to my Gramma’s and get our fair schedule set for this summer.

  image via pexels.com

Designers Choice – Harlins Renaissance -Shinese Harlins, Owner

I started my business at the moment in my life where a choice had to be made. I was laid off from a job. No money, no choices – so I took my savings and went to Phil Rulloda Floral University and received my floral certificate.

It was the best decision I’ve ever made. Being a florist allow me to use my creativity side. There is no color line – just balance, and harmony. I love when a customer loves the outcome. They come back. And when they say “designers choice”, my heart skips a beat!

  image via pexels.com

Flowers Touch Lives – Val Voigt- Detroit Lakes Floral 

A young man calls and would like to know prices on roses. He is going to bring his girlfriend some flowers. He places an order to be picked up. He arrives at the flower shop. He is so excited to bring his girl some beautiful roses.

In two weeks, he calls again and places another order for roses. He arrives at the flower shop. This time I ask him what is the name of this special girl? He smiles from ear to ear and tells me her name and how they met. She loved the first order of roses and now he says she will be very surprised and happy with the second order. He thanks me over and over for our service and says he will be back in two more weeks for some more roses.

That’s why I love the floral business. It touches people’s lives. We meet people and get the privilege of being a part of special events and moments in time.

  image via pexels.com

My Dream – Cynthia Dearnbarger – Flourish Flowers & Gifts, Old Town, Lewisville, TX

A dream in the making….

Years and years ago, I dreamed of opening a flower shop. I had completely forgotten about that dream, so many other things had taken priority and it was gone. Recently I have begun to dream again. God brought back this specific dream!

I am currently in the process of opening a storefront! The building is under construction and we are currently at our local farmers market, getting our name out to the community! Our hope is to bring life, love, compassion and hope to every person who gets an arrangement, bouquet or gift!

  image via pexels.com

 Love Conquers All – Cheryl Bakin-Parkway Florist

I was hired as an after-school high school helper during my junior year in high school. Because of the values instilled in me by my Dad, I knew that I had to be on time, and do my very best each day. I walked to the flower shop, which was inside the first Indoor shopping mall in the Pittsburgh area.

My boss was an older lady who was impressed that I showed each day on time, and tried to do and get done everything she assigned me to do. She kept me on after the Christmas holiday and began to teach me things, bow making, botanical, common names of flowers and plants and many other items large and small.

She instilled in me (or maybe brought out in me) a love for the beauty of flowers, and a desire to help others realize their dreams thru weddings, pretty everyday bouquets, and funerals. She taught me that education was very important, and to try to think out of the box.

After leaving the flower business at age 19, and going to work for corporate America for the next 20 years, I still kept my hand in the flower business and attempted to gain all the education — both flower and business — that I could. In 1987, I bought my flower shop. October 2017 will record a 30-year milestone of shop ownership.

That early training, as well as the fulfillment of my own dream of owning my own business, has helped me to mentor other people and get them onto a path where they can fulfill their dreams. Sometimes it is thru educational opportunities; Sometimes thru mentoring and being a good listener; sometimes it is being a trainer…….or just a role model.

In all cases, I try to always remember what my Dad and my first flower shop boss taught me……..”Kindness never goes out of fashion. Lead by example. Listen to all comments and critics. Be hardworking in all areas of your life, and you will succeed. And finally, Love conquers All”.

  image via pexels.com

A Final Goodbye – anonymous

During my late teens, I had a cocker spaniel that meant the world to me. After a couple of years, I forced to give my beloved dog up due to family members allergy. A family friend had found a good home for him in town about 40 minutes away from where I resided.  I was, to say the least, devastated and would have done anything and everything to keep him.  As time went on and now me in my mid 20’s, already set in my floral career I often thought of ways to kidnap my beloved dog from the family I gave him too. The issue here was I only knew what town he was in and not so much the house. I knew how irrational it was to try to kidnap my dog back, however, I just never felt a sense of closure or like I said goodbye.

As years passed  I never let go of the awful sadness of giving my dog away. Although the sadness was not as profound, it was always with me and made me feel like I failed him. After 10 years in the floral industry, I decided to open my floral business and was super excited to finally be a flower shop owner.  This was a great and overwhelming time in my life, I was very busy and focused.

Much to my surprise, I was also getting many bookings for weddings and one in particular which was referred by a customer. This customer was booking flowers for her daughter’s upcoming wedding in June. After 6 months or so her daughter’s wedding was finally here. I sent off the delivery driver to deliver the reception floral centerpieces and went to deliver the floral bouquets, corsages, and boutonnieres to the bride who was at her mom’s house for pictures. Upon arriving I had, which was hard to explain a very airy feeling. I could not put my finger on it at this time. I was invited in and asked to stay and eat something. Which I did, not sure why, most of the time I just want to deliver the flowers and get as fast as possible, but something kept me there.

After many conversations, the bride’s mother mentioned she had a lab who was at the groomers, then she proceeded to say she used to have a cocker spaniel who had passed a few years back.  At this moment it all came together for me. This was the family that took my beloved dog, Crazy, I know but I felt it way deep inside. I asked her where she got the cocker spaniel, “from a young girl who a family member that was allergic.” She then proceeded to take me into her bedroom to show me my beloved dogs ashes in a beautiful box which sat on her nightstand. At that moment she handed me the ashes and said this is him. I tried hard to hold back my tears I could finally say goodbye to my beloved dog.  I realized then he was so dearly loved and had family and no longer felt as if I had failed him or was a failure.  The lesson it thought me was that not all decisions in life are ones we make. Choosing the floral industry was a decision I made and one that shows me I’m where I need to be every day.I realized then he was so dearly loved and had family and I no longer felt as if I had failed him or was a failure.  The lesson it taught me was that not all decisions in life are ones we make. Choosing the floral industry was a decision I made and one that shows me I’m where I need to be every day.

I realized then he was so dearly loved and had family and I no longer felt as if I had failed him or was a failure.  The lesson it taught me was that not all decisions in life are ones we make. Choosing the floral industry was a decision I made and one that shows me I’m where I need to be every day.

Florists, do you have an inspirational story to tell?  What keeps you in the floral industry? Please share your thoughts and feedback in the comment section below. If you have any questions please post below as well!

____________

Floranext makes great florist software. Florist websites, floral POS, florist wedding/event proposal software, and florist technology. Let us know if you want a free demo or try our software for free here.

from Flower Decoration http://ift.tt/2q1bioy