#And I'm a machine made for love so you can probably understand how that mindset goes against my very programming but alas!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bloodanddiscoballs · 2 years

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Aaaaa I chose too many, so choose:

4; 5; 6; 8; 12 and 26 (this one probably encompasses all questions)

I could literally talk about this game all day so sjfjd

Disco Elysium Asks!

4.) What is one thing you don’t like about the story or that could have been done better?

This is a hard one for me. To be honest, I feel like I would have wanted more interaction with Ruby. I completely understand why we didn't get it but it's always odd when you hear about a person from other people without really getting an opportunity to get to know them yourself. She, like a lot of the characters, made me sad because she got the finger pointed at her when she was just trying to help someone she cared about. Whether you agree with what she did or not, she loved Klaasje enough to act quickly and attempt to solve the problem. It spoke to the rest of the story about community and the choices we make. I think I would have wanted to have the opportunity to extend kindness more than just the choice to let her go or not. Plus her machine is just incredible to me. She's clearly so smart and thinks on her feet. Ruby if you're out there....

5.) What is a popular fan interpretation that you don’t like?

I am not sure where the whole Jean-can't-get-a-boner came from but it isn't that I don't like it I just think it's funny. Same with him being a horse girl. All the dude said was that he was clinically depressed and instantly people were like "He's on our world's equivalent of antidepressants and those make you lose your sex drive." Also he made a passing comment about he was fine being an equestrian cop but Harry wanted the vehicles. I think it's fine to extrapolate I have fun doing that but I've met people who think it's law and thats just funny cause like we no near nothing about the dude skfbdk

6.) What do you love about the game?

What DON'T I love about it omfg. I think one of the biggest things for me is just how hopeful it is. I know if you're following me you know this but I deal with a lot of chronic pain and have gone through 6 reconstructive back surgeries. Sometimes it's really really hard for me but I'm a pretty hopeful person. So to have the message of this game be Love ANYWAY, Care ANYWAY, Keep Going ANYWAY was overwhelming. It helped me categorize my own thoughts in the way the Skills are represented as well as the Thought Cabinet. I loved how it gave space for joy and sorrow and anger and fun and allowed you time to feel all of those before moving you into the next. Life is worth living and fighting for and Disco Elysium makes you feel that every step of the way.

8.) What is your favourite line from the game?

Oh MAN where do I begin!

Volition: You can do it. It's nothing. Do it for the city. Go.

Shivers: Do it for the wind.

Logic: Do it for the picture puzzle. Solve the world. One conversation at a time.

That entire Shivers convo in the church

AFTER LIFE - DEATH. AFTER DEATH; LIFE AGAIN. AFTER THE WORLD, THE PALE; AFTER THE PALE, THE WORLD AGAIN.

Volition: This is somewhere to be. This is all you have, but it's still something. Streets and sodium lights. The sky, the world. You're still alive.

"We ourselves may be loved only for a brief time. Even so, that will suffice. There is a city for the living and there is a city for the dead."

God I could go on and on

12.) What are your headcanons for pre-Martinaise Harry?

I think he was one of those homophobic closeted guys. You know the ones. Like Izzy from OFMD haha. Like he probably did cheat on Dora with men but then drowned that away with booze because he thought it was shameful. I think he was one of those guys who maybe put on the whole macho facade but really he's very sensitive. He has that air of being raised with that whole "Don't be a pussy!" gross mindset that you see in older generations, especially cause Harry really does seem like someone who wants desperately to be wanted and loved and seen as Cool. So maybe he tried to be a chameleon and put on different faces but couldn't maintain it. It's probably what brought him back to disco tbh cause it's all about liberation. But then the people in his life that he wanted to love him didn't like the real him so he drank and drank and did drugs. Him forgetting aaaaall the stuff that gave him that baggage is a good thing.

26.) Just ramble freely about the game and let me know your thoughts

I'm so massively impressed eith the scale of this game. Like seriously it's astounding. This game has conversations in a way that I wish everyone could have them with an openness to get into the good and the bad about everything. Humanity is so complicated and you cannot ignore the people's impact on government ideologies. I appreciate that you get faced with a lot of different facets of different political alignments which really opens up the conversation for each of them and shows how one might find themselves agreeing with one or the other. Noid is a good example imo of how younger people could become swayed by fascism and the game allows you to really work through that conversation which I find fascinating. I think sometimes we become too afraid to have those complicated talks and then we don't talk about them at all which doesn't benefit anyone. In order to avoid harming people we have to be able to have very real conversations so that we can identify how harmful ideologies can masquerade as positive or passive. I also appreciate how the game challenges you when you are going with a route that hurts people (like with the Moralist route and that moment when you come across where those people were executed). I think the fact that the game is set up in a way that allows you to choose soooo much is incredible. There really isn't a lot like Disco Elysium and I'm endlessly impressed by it.

#thanks for the ask!

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smartchicken · 6 years

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Hi I show up every time you post which is haha, so funny, but I just wanna know if you've figured out that I'm a desperate bitch yet and if not, I'm a desperate bitch and I like your stuff. You're cool (also what're your thoughts on a road trip AU featuring young!Tony with a lot of trauma under his belt alongside honourably discharged Bucky who's forgotten how to live but they meet in the middle and it becomes a little easier to breathe)

-chokes-Oh manFirst off, i really would like to encourage people to just randomly describe themselves in my inbox.SECOND this is the first time I've replied to an ask with the mobile app and i don't understand why it's not automatically double spaced, it's really fucking with me, but I'm about as likely to do something about it as i am to tell my phone to auto-capitalize "i". I just Don't CareTHIRDLYROADTRIPokay first off I've had a very few good roadtrips and only one was "Long" (~18 hours) BUT i have great stories from those and now i am picturing not only a young Tony maybe on the run or just trying not to be home, and poor Bucky who got an honorable discharge but got fucked over because that's the American way, but all the avengers because the best roadtrip is when there's two cars and by about halfway through you're straight up enemiesSo like, car 1: Rhodey, Nat, Pepper, Bucky, and Tony. Car 2: Steve, Clint, Phil, and Sam. Because those are who i currently feel like giving a fuck about. Car 1 starts with a disadvantage because 5 people in one car always sucks but like, ride or die bitchesSo I'm sort of imagining this as BlackPepper combining their friendgroups in a fucking into the fire way like sink or swim love each other or else. Because it's that or awkward lunches for six months and they clearly don't have the time for that. I assume there is plotting going on because we all know it plotting redheads, but they probably lost control of the situation at one point because roadtripLike I'm imagining a college au so get in that mindset. I feel like Pepper immediately put her foot down about Tony, who's the only teenager there even though he acts like an old man. Pepper is just like okay Tony HAS to be with me or Rhodey at all times or I'll fuck everyone up Nat i stg i will kill your friends to death if they look strongly at my precious baby and Nat looks a this stubborn little asshole who is at once fearless and terrified and she's like, fair enoughBut Bucky, right? I know I'm a Tony fangirl but I'm not forgetting about Bucky. Cause Bucky went into the army at 18 and he came back three years later a different person. Steve didn't go with because a) he's a twiggy artist and b) Sarah would have murdered him after she destroyed the entire us military tbh. Bucky's a freshman, the only one in the group even though he's older than most of them. He's been back for like 6 months now and probably shouldn't even be dealing with college life but he's Bucky and lbr he's not gonna cut himself any slack. But by golly his friends love him and will absolutely fight everyone for him, even himself. So while Pepper's like "protect my son" Nat is like okay let's try to make sure Bucky's with Steve because they're kinda codependent but we're letting that happen for now because we have bigger fish to fry, but on the dl because currently Bucky won't admit to any issues under penalty of death.So day of the roadtrip. I dunno where they're going probably tourist shit they're just like get in the car we'll head for such and such and go from there. My only frame of reference here is Florida so I'm picturing them having to drive at least five hours before they have any reason to stop.Oh! Yes so first stop is gonna be a spring or river or some sort of water shitSoGetting ready to go is Hell they have to fit enough shit for nine people into two regular sized trunks. So they've gotta clean literally everything but the spare tire outta those("Fuck it, leave the tire," Clint suggests. He's packed all of a backpack and, incomprehensibly, his bow with three arrows and he's absolutely going to reek in about two days and probably didn't bring any shampoo or a toothbrush. It's probably like, a t-shirt, some boxers, and swim trunks. He'll wear the same shorts for a month he doesn't care. "If we get stuck on the side of tree road, I'll feed you to buzzards for sport," Pepper says pleasantly. She knows him a little better than most of Nat's friends because her and Clint half live together. They get along fine but Pepper progressed to threats much quicker than Clint is comfortable with. He thought about telling her it was hot but decided he liked his balls intact. "Just shove over the duffle," Bucky said. Tony's being quiet but he's got a toolkit packed in case anything goes wrong; there'll be no stuck-on-the-roadside on his watch. )So they get the trunks sorted and there's a couple bags in the backseats but it's good enough. Then Phil shows up (when did he leave???) and stuffs some blankets and pillows into both cars. "My family likes roadtrips," he says. His eyes are dead. Phil is not including himself in his family here. Phil tried to beg off but Pepper couldn't get Happy and Nat couldn't get Scott etc etc for various missing people and Phil agrees to come because, ultimately, these socially-challenged morons need a voice of reason and that's not Pepper or Nat OR Sam, no matter what they think(The truth is they're all reckless idiots and Phil's no exception but combined they can keep each other safe-ish or at least get in trouble together)((Tony didn't want to come either but more because he doesn't want to get underfoot. But Rhodey and Pepper made the mistake of trusting his "I'm fine" and leaving him alone for a few weeks at school exactly once. Pepper had hugged him and said "Pretty please?" and Tony's no good at turning down requests, especially from his few, beloved friends))(((Nat took a different approach with Bucky, who didn't want to come either. "If you don't come Steve won't come and then you'll have to say at Steve and Sam's wedding that it was delayed all because you skipped out on the best roadtrip ever.""It is going to be awful," Bucky said. Nat gave a particularly Russian shrug. Bucky sighed and gave in. He didn't exactly wanna spend a week in the dorms alone anyway.)))And then they really just wanna get going what the fuck guys it's already evening should we just wait til morning no fucking way shut your mouth we're going n o wPepper and Nat manage to be together, and they manage to pay Tony and Bucky special attention, as intended. But uh. Oops?It's Rhodey driving with Pepperi the passenger seat, mostly out of habit; they've done short road trips a lot at this point and it's always Rhodey driving to start, Pepper up front so Tony can nap in the backBut uhTony's in the middle in the back, with a pillow and a tablet in his lap. He's putting on a good show of being Totally Fine, but he's clearly tense. Bucky's smooshed against the door as much ash can, broadcasting discomfort like a cat in the rain. Nat leans against the door too, trying to be considerate, but Pepper starts texting her urgently( TOUCH HIM!!!!!hes so tense wtfNat I love you trust me and touch him a littleAnd Nat shifts over just a bit, so her legs are against Tony's, and for a second he freezes, and then he finally loses some of that tensionTOUCH STARVED?????? Nat texts Pepper, alarmed for this kid.His dad sucks, is Pepper's take, and Nat scowls and gets comfortable, pointedly touching Tony without pushing into his space.)MEANWHILE Phil is the odd man out but he's driving so it kinda works. Clint's in the passenger seat because Clint is a no good dirty cheater, and also has very stern, specific instructions from Nat. Steve and Sam are the most comfortable of the entire group, and within an hour they've got their feet a little tangled, not cuddling but not-not cuddling, and Steve's dosing a little cause he took a motion sickness thing and it always makes him a little sleepy"So Pepper seems terrifying," Clint says to Phil as an opener. They probably should've hung out at least a little before this because Pepper and Nat are the only things he can think of to talk about (and maybe it's not helping that Phil is weirdly hot and serious and he's seen him smile a couple times and he's trying to figure out how to see it up close but it turns out it's not hard cause right away Phil grins and chuckles a little and Clint thinks he's maybe having a heart attack)"So does Natasha. Or is it just Nat?""Sometimes it's Natalia," Clint says automatically, which isn't very helpful. "Uh. What are you studying?" Which is stupid and cliche but Phil manages to turn it into an actual conversation and in the backseat Sam's texting the whole thing to Bucky, who keeps sending back strings of emojis that aren't always sensible but like, Sam totally gets it. And then Sam gets a text of the top of a head of messy dark brown curls and a string of panicking emojis. There's a suspicious blushing emoji in there though and Sam snickers to himself. Steve wakes up with a little "hm?" which is too cute for words so Sam just passes him the phoneTony started off working on his tablet but he hasn't slept in...a while and he's been stressing about this but now he's in Rhodey's familiar car and Pepper's got classic rock going kinda quiet and Nat snuck her toes under his leg and he fights it for a while, but eventually he slumps over, and he doesn't even notice himself sliding towards the warmth that smells like machine oil and leather. Tony looks small and sweet and quiet and Bucky likes to watch him sometimes, when he can, even though he feels like a creep. It's just that Tony seems so alive in a way that Bucky can't really capture. Like he's so tired but so full of life and fire and maybe that's optimism he's not sure but he thinks it might be. Everyone always seems tired on campus, or young and stupid, or just so unrelatable. And it's not that he can relate to Tony so much as he wishes he could. Like watching the moon in the surface of a lake and being afraid of the ripples. Bucky slowly relaxes, lulled into it by Tony's quiet breathing, and Nat gives him a very obvious thumbs up, with a certain look in her eyes, and he catches Rhodey's eye in the rearview mirror, so he slides down a little, slowand quiet, tucks an arm around Tony and lets himself relax, puts down three phone and stares out the windowThey stop at an all-night walmart when Clint suddenly realizes they don't have SUPPLIESWATER SUPPLIES!!!Bucky and Tony go in, with Clint and Phil, to get Supplies, while everyone else stretches their legs or texts demands for snacks.They grab a bunch of stuff, everything that looks even mildly amusing, Tony sleep-fuzzy and relaxed from it, and in line him and Clint attack each other with pool noodles, earning a few glares from other shoppers, but they're laughing too!much to care. There's not really room in the cars for everything but they make it work and they're all wide awake then, everyone chattering for the last two hours before they realize they should've arrived by now and then Rhodey stops (he was the one leading) and there's dogs barking and they're in a trailer park andPhil calls him just to ask, "What the fuck Rhodes."They all get out their phones and they're yelling directions at Rhodey and they're lucky he loves them because seriously they deserve death at this point. They pull up to the park at 5am when they should've been there at, oh, 1 or so no one's sure how they got so turned around but they made it yaaayAnd then "Fuck," Pepper says. "Tents."And that's where I'm leaving this for now cause I'm tired of typing on mobile but tbh i wanna write a college roadtrip now. I'm just imagining a lot of cuddles at this point everyone gets maximum hugs plz. Also i can't tag this??? So thanks mobile

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imaginetonyandbucky · 7 years

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I'm not sure if you've already done something similar, but I would love to read a fic where Steve fell off the train and Bucky crashed the plane, so Tony and Bucky meet when Bucky is defrosted and how they cope with finding Steve alive.

Written by @xtaticpearl

A/N: There are two chapters to this story due to its length. Warnings for mention of dark thoughts, mild swearing, dubious morality in tracking someone.

A Home Of Mourners

Chapter 1:

They met in a maelstrom of gods.

If Tony were a poet, he would have described it as that, with the irony of seventy years in a single sentence. If Bucky were an artist he would have appreciated the imagery of that description, a quiet afterthought of a violent past in a new future. Unfortunately, neither was either, and they both described their first meeting as a mess, in maybe varying words.

Bucky had a shadow to fill, of his dead best friend, and Tony had a legend of myths to stand up to. Neither had been in the best mindsets and it had shown when Bucky had called Tony a cheaper Howard and Tony had scoffed at Bucky as a mockery of Captain America. It had been ugly, a vicious fest of anger and bottled grief in outpour, and Loki’s scepter hadn’t helped in the least. Still, Bucky had called the shots and Tony had pushed a nuke into a wormhole. They had saved a city and become a planet’s heroes.

They hadn’t become friends. So it wasn’t high on Bucky’s mind to call on Tony Stark when he discovered the true identity of the Winter Soldier in DC and was told to stop him rather than save him.

“It’s not an option,” Bucky snarled quietly with cold seeping into his tone, staring down Fury in an abandoned bunker as his hands shook and mind reeled, “Taking him down is not an option. This isn’t Steve, this is someone, something else. I’m not going to abandon him.”

Watch out for the break

“I don’t think you’ll find another choice, Captain,” Fury shot back, never one to back down from an intimidation even if he was in terrible shape, “If he stops you, he’s not going to think it’s a choice. Are you ready to risk a million lives on a bet that won’t take?”

Bucky opened his mouth to tell Fury where to shove his bet when another voice spoke up.

“There’s no need to be so dramatic, Nick,” Tony called out as he handed over the decoder chips to Hill, eyeing the Director of SHIELD with fake amusement, “Honestly, we all know that I’m the gambler in this team. Cap here is pretty much a surety, and that’s probably one of the reasons you decided to finally grace us with this information.”

“We can’t carry any more complications to this mission,” Fury shot Tony a quelling look, “We’re already on the weaker ground right now.”

“Wouldn’t exactly say that,” Tony shrugged and shot Natasha a quick grin, danger lacing it. Bucky didn’t know how much actual friendship Natasha and Tony shared but they had a level of strange understanding that had led Natasha calling on Tony for the mission, despite Bucky having said otherwise.

“Sir,” Hill interrupted before Fury could blow a fuse and Bucky focused on their conversation, putting any thoughts of Tony Stark defending him away.

The mission was a disaster of high proportions, and Bucky knew that well enough without Sam trying to subtly call attention to it on the comm. Natasha and Fury had taken care of Pierce and Sam had been taken down by Steve after the first chip had been replaced. Iron Man was still keeping the SHIELD weapons at bay and holding fort in the air, giving Bucky time to replace the last chip. It sounded easy, but as Bucky stared at a blank-faced Steve ready to kill him, he knew that it was anything but that.

“Don’t make me do this, Steve,” he pleaded without moving an inch from the mainframe, blocking it even as his heart choked his throat, “I don’t want to hurt you, punk, but I can’t let you hurt others too.”

Steve had never listened even before the war but now that he was this, this machine that Hydra had created, it didn’t even register. They fought in circles, Bucky using every last dirty trick he knew to push Steve off without actually hurting him and Steve using every trick to actually hurt Bucky. When Steve’s hand clenched around his throat, Bucky let the shield fall and tried to get a word in, anything to get his best friend back. He fell with a crash for the second time in his life, calling out for a forgotten memory as he blacked out.

When he came to consciousness, Sam was by his side and a shield rested against the wall.

“Stark dropped it off in the morning,” Sam said without asking, peeling an orange lazily, “Said they didn’t need another frozen fossil for seventy years.”

“Funny guy,” Bucky rasped, swallowing the dryness from disuse and winced when his jaw hurt, “What happened?”

“We saved DC,” Sam shrugged a shoulder and shot Bucky a smirk, “No thanks to your dumb ass, really.”

“Everyone’s a critic,” Bucky huffed before he sobered and eyed Sam carefully, “You know where he is?”

“Who, Stark?”

“Sam -”

“Rogers, yeah, I know,” Sam nodded, meeting Bucky’s eyes with a pause, “He’s safe.”

“Safe,” Bucky repeats, mind whirring over implications, “Safe, what does that mean? Where is he?”

It hurt viscerally, a twisting burn of hot metal in his gut, when Bucky learnt of Steve leaving without meeting him. It made him want to tear down the world in anger and pain, a toxic mix of guilt and shame. It made him want to shred everyone around him but he couldn’t do that, wouldn’t do that.

It was easier to shred into Tony alone.

“You had no right!” Bucky yelled and they had been yelling for hours or minutes, some terrifying amount of anger period in the workshop that Bucky had stormed into right after getting discharged from the hospital. “You had no right to send him away, you bastard!”

“What did you want me to do? Put him in the Hulk room? Cage him?” Tony demanded, not giving an inch even in the face of a furious supersoldier, “He needed space, and you almost died trying to drag him back through some weird stubborn belief of memory triggers -”

“He recognized me! I could see it!” Bucky spat, “He is my friend!”

“He didn’t want to stay, James!” Tony yelled, finally pitching his voice over Bucky’s and Bucky stopped, a horrible crash to his thoughts. They were both red-faced, clutching at control with nails and Bucky felt his breath leave in a rush.

“Fuck, this is why I shouldn’t be allowed to play interference,” Tony ran a hand through his hair, taking a shaky breath and loosened his shoulders as he looked back at Bucky with a slightly calmer expression.

“When I reached the shore, you were completely out. You had a pulse but nothing else,” Tony breathed out and caught Bucky’s eyes, “He was there, either guarding you or making sure you didn’t wake up, I don’t -”

“Steve wouldn’t -”

“I don’t know,” Tony stressed, quiet and considerably softer but firm, “I really don’t know, but yes, maybe he wouldn’t. But I saw him and I tried to bring you both back. He refused, Barnes. I don’t know why even though I can make a pretty good guess, but he refused to come back with you. The only way I could have brought him was by knocking him out.”

“Why didn’t you do it?” Bucky grunted and Tony shook his head with a small smirk.

“Apart from the reason that you would kill me?” he snorted, waving it off with a hand, “No, forget that. It’s like you said, I didn’t have the right.”

“Never stopped you before,” Bucky raised an eyebrow and Tony nodded acquiesingly.

“True, but this wasn’t like before,” he shrugged, eyeing the suit he was working on, “Look, I’m not the leading expert on mind-control or brainwashing but I know a thing or two about kidnapping. You know how long he’s been gone but you don’t know who he has been when he was gone. In your head you see him as Steve Rogers, the first Captain America, your best friend. But to him? He hasn’t had the chance to be that guy in years, in decades. You make him come here without giving him a choice, and you’re taking away any chance of him finding out who he is.”

“I just want to help him,” Bucky exhaled hard and leaned back against the work-table, feeling an untold age in his bones, “God, Steve.”

Tony didn’t say anything, letting the silence stay as Bucky tried to focus on breathing without air hurting his lungs.

“You’re sure he’s safe?” he asked after a while, quieter than before, and looked at Tony who was doing a good job of pretending not to watch Bucky.

“I put a tracker in his arm,” Tony shrugged at the look Bucky shot him, “What? I can give a guy some space, not let a ‘maybe assassin’ run around the country without knowing where he is.”

“Bastard,” Bucky reiterated but Tony grinned unapologetically this time, the deviousness not affecting him in the least.

It didn’t get easier, even with knowing where Steve was and that he wasn’t involved in any incidents. Sam had volunteered to shadow him to his best and Bucky had hated it but Natasha had been right when she explained that it was safest for everyone. Feeling useless had never sat right with Bucky, even if it wasn’t to Steve’s old level of restless itch. It probably wasn’t surprising then that he had taken to taking his frustration out with either Natasha or Clint, since he wasn’t sure about Tony yet. Or maybe he was and that confused him. It worked fine, despite Clint’s insistence that he wasn’t fine with being moped at, till it wasn’t.

“Wonder twins off on mission?” Tony asked as he walked into the common kitchen, a low hanging sweatpant and black tanktop showing that he had been in a workshop binge.

“Potts off on a business trip?” Bucky asked in return without looking up from the tablet he was reading on.

“Touché,” Tony hummed and came around the counter to pull out a pan, rummaging around the cupboards for ingredients.

“You’re making food?” Bucky raised an eyebrow when he finally made sense of the ingredients and Tony shot him a dry look before nodding.

“Shocking, I know, but survival demands sustenance,” he quipped as he cracked eggs into a bowl, pausing a second before shooting Bucky a glance, “You want some?”

“Some?”

“Food. Scrambled egg sandwiches,” Tony pointed to the loaf of bread he had picked, “You want some?”

“Burnt sandwiches?” Bucky snorted and bit back a wince when Tony’s shoulders tensed as he turned away to gather tomatoes. He knew that he was not much of a charmer at times and Tony seemed to bear the brunt of his worst sarcasm often, even if he gave as good as he got. It wasn’t really fun and Bucky scrambled to salvage the conversation.

“Want a hand?” he offered and got up, moving around to pick up the bread, “I’ll do the toast and you can do the eggs.”

Tony didn’t reply but Bucky was fluent in his silences by now and he knew that the tension had lessened to mild suspicion.

Nothing was burnt, more or less, and Bucky didn’t really know how he went from making sandwiches to sitting with Tony for a Star Trek marathon but it was the first time in months that his head wasn’t buzzing with the need to do something. He didn’t know if he was being selfish by taking the reprieve but Tony was warm beside him and the screen was bright enough to dull some dark thoughts. Tony shuffled and his elbow nudged Bucky’s arm. Bucky leaned back a little into the couch and let it stay.

Between keeping an eye out for Steve, re-forming the Avengers, and handling the backlash from SHIELD’s fall, Bucky hadn’t been surprised when his tentative romance with Natasha had fizzled out. He was still in awe of her, and still felt his heart clench for a minute when she did something particularly simple but he had seen the looks she exchanged with Bruce. It didn’t hurt much after a while and he had gotten used to the idea of her as his friend. Sharon, whenever she came to the Tower, shot him pointed looks sometimes but even she let it go when she caught sight of Bruce making Natasha smile easily. Things were rocky but he was getting a hang of it, especially with Tony, when Sam called.

“He caught up with me a week ago. I think he wants to meet you. We’re at Bucharest.”

Clint had assigned himself to join Bucky on the trip and Bucky didn’t know if he was annoyed or relieved, but he let it go with the latter.

“Told you he’d just need space,” Tony smiled softly, the way he did nowadays when there was no broken glass to tread on, and Bucky rolled his eyes as he packed but felt his shoulders relax at Tony’s presence.

“Yeah, yeah, you’re a real Cassandra,” he grinned and caught the phone that Tony threw at him easily, raising an eyebrow as he glanced at it, “I distinctly remember something else being my phone yesterday.”

“Something you won’t let me upgrade but let’s save your travesty for another day,” Tony rolled his eyes and walked into the room, “This is similar to a burner phone but with more...me. It’ll keep your communication secure and also send signal to JARVIS in case you need help.”

“My comm works just fine, Tony,” Bucky reminded but Tony simply picked up a leather jacket Bucky had folded and dumped it into his duffel.

“Who’s the genius here, exactly?” he countered with a smug look and didn’t bat an eye when Bucky pulled the finger, “It’s for in case your comm doesn’t work. You’re not exactly taking a cavalry with you and you won’t take the Quinjet.”

“The jet works just fine, smugass,” Bucky laughed and Tony threw his hands in the air.

“Don’t blame me when you can’t call me,” he said with a mock-haughty sniff and Bucky dropped a towel on his head to hear him make indignant noises.

“Don’t do anything stupid when I’m gone, okay?” he warned lightly, zipping up the duffel and slinging it over his shoulder, eyeing the genius who had become his good friend over the madness of time.

“You do remember that you won’t be here, right? All the stupid is gonna happen with you, God, maybe I should warn the Bucharest government about you” Tony pointed out, pushing Bucky away when he moved to swat his head, “Get out, you jackass. I bet Rogers is a better guest than you. Bring him home. I need better people on my side.”

“Who told you he’d be on your side?” Bucky teased but threw his arm around Tony’s shoulder, dragging him out of the room when the genius started on a rant about Steve obviously having common sense.

He met Pepper on his way out and she smiled at him but Bucky felt something wrong with her smile, something tight and unhappy about her posture. He didn’t have time to think about it though and he got into the jet, waving away to his team, his last visual of Pepper and Tony standing stiffly next to each other but not touching.

It felt off but Bucky didn’t get to think much of it with Clint setting course to Bucharest.

Meeting Steve again was anticlimactic at best and uneventful at worst. Bucky had a list of ideas of what to expect, of how he would react or how Steve would react, but none of them involved Steve quietly showing him to a room in a shabby apartment and then shutting himself up in the adjacent room. Clint had simply shrugged at Bucky and had dragged a tired Sam out to go get some food. For three days, Steve would come out of the room for breakfast, go out to buy a newspaper and come back to go straight back into his room. The first day Bucky wasn’t sure if he was allowed to follow but when he tried it the second day, Steve didn’t say anything so he figured it was alright. The meals were awkward and Clint would try to make as much conversation as possible, Sam going along with it, but Steve didn’t say a word.

When he did speak, it wasn’t anything Bucky thought he would speak about.

“Stark,” he said on the fourth day, between Clint’s wild gesticulation of some story and Sam’s snort. Clint didn’t pause entirely but the noise did dial down and Bucky was caught between freezing up or prompting a continuation.

“I met him,” Steve said finally, eyes on the soup he was ladling into his bowl, “When I -”

The pause was deliberate this time and Bucky felt invisible guns trained on him.

“Yeah, he - he leaves an impression,” he settled on finally, kicking at Clint’s ankle when the archer stifled a laugh.

Steve ignored that but took two sips of his soup before looking up at Bucky, face devoid of any particular emotion.

“He anything like Howard?” he asked and this time Clint stopped muffling laughter. This was a landmine and Bucky had always tried to burrow away from them, preferring targets he could see.

“He makes things fly better,” he replied finally and imagined that Steve’s lips quirked at the sides but then he was nodding.

“He doesn’t need to track me anymore,” Steve said and Bucky wanted to yell, wanted to lean forward and grab the punk into a hug or whack him over his head. Sam nudged his feet under the table and Bucky swallowed twice before he exhaled.

“Alright,” he said, not asking if it meant Steve was coming home or if he wanted Bucky to stay. Maybe it was the familiar watered down soup or an actual conversation with his presumed dead friend, but Bucky was good with what he got in that moment.

“I’ll tell him,” he told Steve and felt a giddy feeling in his head as he had the urge to call Tony immediately. If he brushed a hand over the phone Tony had given him during the rest of the meal, then it wasn’t something he was willing to discuss out loud or in his mind yet.

That night he called Tony and was grateful for the silence around him when his words turned into choked sobs over the phone, chaotic words and curses mingling with names as he clung to the phone tight. Tony didn’t stop him or give him meaningless platitudes but let him speak, offering quiet answers whenever Bucky asked desperate questions.

“It’ll all work out, James,” Tony promised softly, a confidence that was born from defiance and defeat, “Everybody will come home in time, you’ll see. We’ll all get home eventually, I promise.”

“Tony?”

“Hmm?”

Bucky didn’t know what he wanted to say. Didn’t know if it was gratitude or longing or happiness or grief; there were too many emotions to convey but he huddled the phone closer to his ear and whispered.

“Don’t do anything stupid till I get back.”

“I’ll wait for you then,” Tony replied, warm and without missing a beat, and everything Bucky wanted to hear.

He went to sleep with Tony’s ramble about Dum-E and JARVIS conspiring against him, and felt the dreams hurt less.

#winteriron #tony x bucky #tony stark #bucky barnes #steve rogers #captain america bucky barnes #ws steve rogers #prompts #xtaticpearl #Anonymous

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