#And a lot of rage and yelling
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I think depictions of Anya being cruel to Curly or drawing out his suffering are artful and chilling but completely miss the point of the story and her character.
I'm not saying she doesn't deserve to have that "I told you so" moment with him but not in something callous or cold. Even if that is how it happened, she'd immediately feel guilty cause at that point she's not tormenting her tormenter or even the person truly at fault. She's doing something cathartic, similar to how Jimmy likely hits Curly to release rage he can't against the rest of the crew. She'd see herself as no different when she'd come back from the moment and see Curly cowering at her. She wants someone to take responsibility but how does being cruel to the defenseless help? Why would she want the power Jimmy has over her over Curly?
The idea of her extending someone else's pain is just so against the struggles she already faces and how she can't even bring herself to cause someone pain even to help them. Her very desire is to release herself from her own suffering and I doubt she'd even fine some sort of guilty release in being cruel to another.
#anya is not a character i see taking agency or indulging in cathartic behaviors#not knowingly like i see her as a character trapped in her head and maybe in the scenario she's cruel to Curly she is envisioning Jimmy#in his place but its not a story about justice or those deserving of punishment and those not like its the opposite of people projecting#their issues on the wrong people and saying things to the wrong people and doing things they shouldn't but anya uniquely falls out of it as#she is subjected to a lot of it but it is also not something she wants to subject another person to like you are doing what Jimmy does and#placing ur rage into another persons and viewing their actions through your eyes like she'd more likely yell at him than do harm or#cause him more pain like at least make it in character#but also she clearly doesn't want to see jimmy or curly in the same light and doesnt because she still repeatedly goes to Curly for comfort#and protection and god there's like concepts that need to be applied to characters individually and then the story as a whole#we can not view the game through only one themed lens less we forget to inspect the compounding factor of Anya is so much more than girl#that needs to be allowed to go off but a woman that simply wants right to be done by her and no more harm like she doesn't want to be aroun#the suffering like idk but some of yall would just benefit from like understanding that people are inherently grey with the capabilities of#black n white thinking or actions#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#anya mouthwashing#i like her the most but then again i am defensive of all women in media and hate when people change the way the character would take agency#for themselves like yes I want her to tweak out but she just wouldn't and I like seeing realistic depictions of a woman suffering the way#she is like shes not the type at the end of the movie to have a one liner but feel a shallow freedom cause she needs to realistically heal#idk but its just like there is an obbsession forming with making her character her pain and not how she handles and navigates the issue
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Track list for Fig and the Cig Figs independently published Junior Year album (officially named “Infaethable”)
Teenage Rebellion
Night Yorb (a heavy metal banger)
Summer Scaries
Devils Nectar
Time Quangle (a love song about Ayda)
Multiclass (Gorgug sings on this!)
The Ballad Of Lucy Frostblade (Kristen was the one who convinced Fig to write this)
So Late, So Tactical
Do You Have A Fucking Warrant
Cassandra (Can You Hear Me)
Hall Of Mirrors
President Applebees (written entirely in the night after Kristen gets elected by a drunk Fig with extremely drunk notes by Kristen)
Raging For Love (inspired by Gorgug, of course)
The Elven Oracle (Has A Day Job) (So Stop Bothering Her)
Maximum Legend
Fury Of The Ball
Cursed
Infaethable
The Bad Kids
#i neeeeed fig to go indie it’s her destiny#she promises each of them that she’ll dedicate at least one song to them and then dedicates a track to each of them individually#sklondas seething a tiny bit that she called riz the ball but he won’t stop playing it so it keeps getting stuck in her head#adaine summons mephits to help with her track#you can hear her in the background near the end yelling ‘yeah!’ and ‘fuck off!’#fabian wanted his to sound like a shanty but fig said it wouldn’t go with the vibe of the album#they eventually compromised by having the noise of waves and seagulls subtly in the background throughout#kristen actually cried the first time fig played the ballad of lucy frostblade for them#summer scaries sounds like an olivia rodrigo song#gorgug gets a sick drum solo in raging for love#time quangle opens with fire crackling and a bird cawing and a quiet clip of ayda saying ‘I love you’ before the instrumental starts#fig stuck a quiet sound clip of gilear saying ‘oh fuck’ and then a louder sound clip of her saying ‘oh fuck!’ in cursed#devils nectar is one of the slower tracks on the album#hall of mirrors is heavily inspired by the events at evil mordred and baron so you can hear a lot of influences from baronesian music in it#fig has a fucking sick as hell guitar solo and a couple of samples from just the bottomless pit in general in infaethable#Gorthalax also gets some lyrical input on it#fig manages to get a clip of riz saying ‘the ball bitch!’ to kalvaxus in freshman year to put in fury of the ball#is this too long for an album? maybe but who cares I love this#a good portion of the profits made from the album goes towards college for the party#having thoughts about fig and the cig fig’s Junior year album#autism (mads) speaks#fantasy high#fhjy#fig faeth#fantasy high junior year#dimesnion 20#d20 fantasy high#fig and the cig figs
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mhs2 posting again but. one thing i find really fuckin weird about the story is like:
zellard’s betrayal really could’ve hit harder if they made him less of a side character. the potential for him to have been the pc’s mentor was right there—like, tht’d put alwin on the backburner but like..theres only really a buildup if you read the optional dialogue and i know a lot of people don’t do that
you can’t even say “oh but he isn’t a rider” either. because where’d he get that kinship stone on his palm??? WHERE’D HE GET THE NERGIGANTE ARMOR??????
#mhs2#zellard mhs2#monster hunter stories#i made him the mentor to my protag during alcala but to be fair nagha’s story is a lot more focused on the cult#that being said; theres so much stuff about zellard that we just..dont know#all we know is that he loved red so much he turned evil after he died#oh also they just. ignore the fact people can get rage-rayed#like yeah ok#both zellard and the protag go into a trance after oltura Yells At Them and it’s..never brought up again???#like brother????? hello????
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getting more and more excited about the golden raven the closer 2.22 gets but also. jeremy and whatever the fuck is going on with his family hasn't really been addressed yet. excited but also scared. scarcited. feel like some stuff about his relationship with his family will be revealed and he will need to address it as much as Jean needs to confront his abuse and its ongoing effects, and will probably struggling with admitting that there's an issue as much as Jean does. anyways Jeremy as a captain takes care of everyone else, but I would love to see him take care of himself as well.
#jeremy knox#i mean. he tells Jean not to call him by his last name. that alone is loaded#i love that jeremy is the captain and friend that tries to help everyone else but as that friend sometimes you also need to take care of yo#the golden raven#tgr#all for the game series#all for the game#jean moreau#and maybe actually get to show his anger for once#he represses a lot of stuff#he needs a rage room i think#or a soundproof room to yell a lot in#tbh i did not like jeremy in the original three books because I was like theres no way hes just. that nice#and yet. he is. and like he couldve been angry and hateful and push everyone away but instead he draws them closer#but his avoidance of certain things will only get him so far#im predicting a little jeremy meltdown as a treat. for me. because he might need it. mentally and emotionally.
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Logging out for a while, love you miss you <3
#idk when I'll be back on#I think maybe end of the month to test the waters but we'll see#someone was having a bad day and decided to take it out in my inbox last night#and then when I logged off they got mad I didn't answer and sent a few more 🤪#usually I'm pretty good at rationalizing these things. gen z feels like the only place they have power is on the internet so of course when#they're angry and scared they're going to come after the people that they can actually reach#(and that includes me; proud owner of an anime thirst blog with 6 followers <3)#what they need is a hug and a copy of the anarchist protest guide and maybe a community garden; not someone responding to them with more#anger#but as I stated. I'm exhausted.#anyway. this is all to say#if you're feeling so much kinetic energy from rage that you feel the best way to get rid of it is to yell at some rando on the internet#use that energy to do something productive#sign up for a protest; volunteer at your local soup kitchen; teach crafts at the library.#a lot of people need a lot of help right now; why waste time shouting into the void when you could be doing something with genuine impact#the world needs helpers more than ever#if you made it this far thank u I love you; and stay safe out there cowboys 💞
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I'm a full supporter of criticism against car culture but I am also hopelessly addicted to Car. I literally love driving my car to various places and listening to music. Will intentionally take longer routes just to make it last. Wasting tons of gas money. Needlessly emitting CO2. Salting the earth beneath the thundering hooves of my Toyota Corolla. Highlight of my fucking day
#Part of it is that I really like singing and that is the ONLY place I can really do it#I would say it's a de-stressor but it's totally actually not. I get so mad at other drivers#I don't have the same anger issues I used to but it all comes back when fellow drivers irk me#Not like full on dangerous levels of road rage but there's a lot of yelling and swearing involved#OK that's enough from me tonight I need to finish some work so sosososoosososoososososo fucking bad
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fuck all my other wips ive been thinking since the dawn of time about what a supreme ghost shi qingxuan would be like n it hit me today that she'd probably be like calypso from pirates of the caribbean and now i cant just like. NOT make fanart of that
also there's a deleted scene of calypso where she's wearing a pointed bamboo hat with a fucked up ghostly veil n tells someone how a likely dead person feels and tells them the canaries told her and by fucking god you cant just like NOT see sqx in that
#i think abt it a lot but writing a fanfic of it would be too much effort bc itd be too big a project#but like. smth like shredded sails black winds or smth#still kind but fucked up from jealousy n rage from seeing her brother ascend n leave her in the dust#is in her female form 90% of the time bc shi wudu isn't there to yell at her not to be#is thought of as a woman so completely that everyone thinks that she's hua cheng's 'honored wife'#till she laughs in xie lian's face about it when he tries to broach the topic#uses and manipulates civil god he xuan on the basis that he help find vengeance for all the lost souls#that the Water Tyrant purposefully kills for not giving tribute#loves him just like he loves her but still equally as toxic in the end just like calypso and davy jones#eyes that glow the color of ghost flames#meanwhile qi rong gets beaten and ripped to shreds on the regular bc he wont stop callin her a man in a dress once he finds out
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I like writing my posts in this font size because I think it is incredibly accurate to how I speak irl. Just loud as hell To nobody in particular usually. You don't have to respond to me but you DO have to hear me.
#I don't try to be loud Like I really don't. I get accused of yelling a lot and I get confused because that's just me speaking#If you wanna hear me yell then you gotta see me doing literally any activity that could cause me to get frustrated Oh god#I got. A couple. Noise complaints.#It's not like stereotypical male rage though it's like how KAT goes “oh my GAWD” whenever the refs don't call an obvious foul#I'm always nervous about scaring people I want to be nice and approachable always. I am your friend ok? Don't mind me#absurdist007 classic
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I deserve to go off at all the men who are making my life hard
#lara rambles#my brother. my father. the government. i could throw in my english teacher who ruined my confidence in writing#theres probably more#my doctors#i think i deserve to go off and scream at someone because I have a lot of pent up rage#this could also be the period talking#but I definitely think i should be allowed to yell at my father. brother. and uncles#its been over 6 months since my grandfather passed and my ubcle and father cannot put feelins aside to get the will sorted#*six fucking months*#actually 7. 7 months. 7 months of this bullshit#hi i have a lot of feelings and am putting it out through a tumblr post no one can reblog
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new type of haterism unlocked: when i'm told a woman is Redefining Music and you just muuuust listen to her because she just like Really Gets It
and then all of her songs just sound like slow + reverb mixes from youtube
but like... in an early florence welch kinda way
and it's like sure i guess she sure is sad and angry in a relatable way but can we zhuzh it up a bit
can we get a good beat in here or something
#i think i bounce off a lot of fthis type of music#(though i LOVED early florence and some late florence)#is because often the vocals are dramatic as hell#an d the instrumental just is NOT giving the same energy#so it just feels like... whiny?#melodramatic in a way that turns potentailly deep lyrics into something grating#Female Rage music often lacks an instrumental that shares in that rage#so it's just like... Woman Shouting#and like... who yells?#also this type of music often has a limited lifespan#because it's so often framed as personal story telling#and people just... have a limited amount of story??#especially as they get more rich and famous#like you need to invoke some story telling or some thing political idk#there's only so many songs i can take about yoru ex
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near tears thinking about how good a job free! did in s1 displaying how depression can take the shape of really harsh anger with rin’s character... especially in comparison to haru and to ikuya later, both whose depression manifests in a very detached, quiet, sad way. normally rin might have a fiery personality, but he’s not an angry person. and i still just love how it was displayed in s1 that, while he gave off this appearance of rage and sharp teeth and thrown fists, there was an equal number of scenes where he was heartbroken, jealous, and worried for his old friends. and just. idk! i loved how his pain and loneliness manifested as this insurmountable rage at himself and everything around him because he was just so sad... idk where i was going with this i just really liked how it was done
#i swear im like About to fall asleep im so tired#but i was listening to the free! ost while writing and just remembering s1.....#like rin still yells a lot and is sharp tongued but. he's really the show's sweetheart crybabyman#mr wears his heart on his sleeve 24/7 and has a heart of gold#and so idk. it's really nice to see him in s1 being presented as this really angry person when in fact he isn't#and it transitions well into him being this really passionate person full of really active sparking energy instead of rage#WAAAHHSHFDGH IM TIRED AND RAMBLING BYE#i say things#rin#free!
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The hot new thing is googling old art memes and using whatever image search gives you
#my art#original character#luci my baybeeee#lots to say lets go#this was fun it took so very long also much longer than i thought it would#did the sketch for irritated in about 5 seconds cause thats just what his face does all the time#serious and drunk were both pulled from irritated and modified slightly#theres so many i like here but rage and tired are absolutely faves#have wanted to draw him yelling like that for so long and tired just fell together so nicely#i might update his markings eventually but for now this is fine#hes so.. Not Emotive that big expressions end up really big#anyways it was fun and look! i drew something! and now i have to knit again!#one more cowl and then i stg im done knitting for the year
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been doing so well on the neuroticisms front for the past few weeks and idk what changed but major nosedive for the night lol uhm .
#j.txt#laying in bed experiencing paranoias and mood swings that would kill an even marginally less resigned man#opening course was a freight trains worth of rage bc ppl were yelling and honking horns and being insufferable w their cars in the lot righ#outside my window. then a friend came over but only to hang out w my roommates and take them out somewhere without even checking to see wha#was going on with me which like. is par the course atp but fuck if it doesnt still upset me apocoliptically lmao. then I had some sort of#hands-shaking heart racing mind fully blank episode prob bc overstimulated by all of above. and now i just want to cry to make myself feel#Anything at all else but none of my usual methods to do that are working so. going to just sit here miserable and frantic in the dark#until I pass out ig !#vent
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...It's kind of wild when the terf that you got into a fight with and had to write an essay on "Why violence is wrong" back in high school now works at the pharmacy where you get your medication from...
#I'm sorry for the vent I just am mad that she could be in a PHARMACY. I hope she's at least changed her ways.#she should not be working in health if she still thinks this way.#She definitely remembered me too. I don't think she could forget honestly. neither of us was injured btw.#It wasn't a “fight” in the way you think most fights are. she called this sweet trans boy the word rhymes with maggot (that's what she is)#a maggot.#while she was moving around a lot and idk. rage took over and I twisted her arm and she happened to fall and then I cussed her out#I probably over did it but moving her arms around while ranting and then calling him that just pushed me over. I WAS calm at first.#He was a shy and quiet kid and he “didn't want to make a big deal about it” so I tried to follow his request but... you know.#it was in theatre behind the curtains during rehearsal and everyone heard/saw so yea. I got into trouble. no detention surprisingly#it was a long time coming. she would constantly harass him with shit about how “You still look like a girl”. and using wrong pronouns#and teachers were told but they didnt' do shit. She also was just a mean person. This guy wasn't the only person she bullied#I only wrote on why VIOLENCE was wrong. not about what I did. The only thing I feel bad about is that I scared the poor guy I was defending#I don't remember what I said (I was that mad) but apparently I "picked her personality apart like a bunch of lego bricks and then told her#why the “lego brick” is fucked up“ He was just 14-15 and she was 18 btw😒literally harrassing a sweet KID.#was convenient though because all I had to do was give her a look and she would immediately back down. idk what I said when I yelled#at her but it was nice that I could do that whenever she would start shit#Mad rambles#idk y'all I'm scared that she's in HEALTH. if I know anything I'll see if I can report her because while I hope she wouldn't fuck with tran#folks medications idk for sure. she was really cruel back in high school.#vent#rant#I try not to post shit like this but I'm worried you know?
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every day i see fandom opinions and start screaming internally
#i understand liking characters who are morally repugnant#but making the problems HE CAUSED the fault of THE OTHER PEOPLE-#'why does otto view fu hua as a friend after everything she did to him-' EVERYTHING *SHE* DID??#HE KILLED HER. HE KILLED HER AND STOLE HER CORPSE FOR EXPERIMENTS.#HE KILLED HER DAUGHTER. HE FUCKED WITH HER MEMORIES AND LIED TO HER FOR CENTURIES.#AND IT'S *HER* FAULT BECAUSE SHE TURNED ON HIM BECAUSE HE WAS PLAYING GOD AND MAD SCIENTIST AGAIN?#and then ppl in the comments going “actually he fixed a lot imagine where we'd be without him his agenda was good if you weren't a protag-”#HE WAS CREATING 12 Y/O CLONES OF HIS DEAD CRUSH AND MAKING THEM FIGHT TO THE DEATH#THIS ONLY STOPPED WHEN HE 'SAW KALLEN' IN ONE OF THEM SHOWING MERCY#HE DELIBERATELY REFUSED TO REHABILITATE AN AMNESIAC 10 YEAR OLD BC HER PARENTS WOULDN'T RAISE HER AS A SOLDIER LIKE HE WANTED#BUT IF THEY THINK SHE'S DEAD AND SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO SHE IS HE CAN DO WHAT HE WANTS!#this is an otto apocalypse hate zone btw#i love him from a narrative perspective but he just fills me with such a blind seething rage because of how he ruins everything he touches#knowingly so!#anyway fandom opinions taking the stance he was fine actually are. well. i'm yelling here you know how i feel abt it.
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Also there's not enough weird sexual undertone to banal violence anymore. How did they make a road rage Netflix horror and not make the car sexy? How did they just make it about a sad angry guy, and not the car as beast? Movies nowadays. Whoever wrote this clearly is not from the South and clearly has never had to navigate an unwalkable city on foot. Probably hasn't even been victim to a road rage incident.
#I had a road rage incident happen to me and my mom once and it just was not like. Only half there in this movie#It's there a little! The car feels scary itself. They do a good job of portraying it as this large imposing object#But when it happened to me it was both very fast and went on for an insane amount of time#And we barely caught a glimpse of the guy and didn't hear anything he was yelling#He just tried to run us off the side of the road for like two miles and then moved on with his day#And then later we got a ticket cause he scratched his car trying to kill us but apparently it's on us bc he called first#And my mom uhhhh merged improperly? Honestly I'm not sure she even did anything illegal. Was a minor ticket though#But what was terrifying there was the sudden change in behavior. And that guy thought he was totally in the right and went on with his day#The guy in the movie is somewhat accurate to a lot of southern road rage dicks but it's a bit off. They're usually coin flip rage types#Idk. It just didn't capture the same kind of fear.
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