#Anne’s just like. yeah not the craziest thing I’ve heard

[quartizinedaze]

doodle suggestion from instagram!! Hat Kid meeting Luz and Anne

[backstorywithdanalewis]

France and Free Speech and Terror (Back Story with Dana Lewis podcast link: https://www.buzzsprout.com/1016881/6234526

Anne Guidicelli: (00:00) Not all people are, let's say agreeing with such a satirical cartoon, uh, but the, or agree for freedom of expression. Dana Lewis - Host: (00:18) Hi everyone. And welcome to another edition of backstory. I'm Dana Lewis, French president Macron is about to crack down on radical Muslims. After several attacks in France, a school teacher, Samuel Petty was recently beheaded for showing children cartoons of the prophet Muhammad and talking to them about free speech. A Muslim man who carried out the attack was later shot by the police. Then in niece, a woman was decapitated and  two others had been killed during a knife attack inside the Notredame Basilica church. The mayor of ni said the, his Lamel fascist assailant didn't stop shouting Alawak bar, even under medication after being shot and arrested countries have condemned friends for arresting dozens of Muslims, some of cold for boycotts of French goods. Turkey's president Erewhon made an explosive speech saying Macron needs some sort of mental treatment. What else is there to say about a head of state who doesn't believe in freedom of religion and behaves this way against millions of people, of different faith living in his own country. Dana Lewis - Host: (01:29) He said France condemned air to one's remarks and recalled its ambassador, the French foreign minister denounced the quote hateful and slanderous propaganda against France, unquote, any accused Turkey of quote, showing a wish to fan hate against and among us unquote. And then a few days later after everyone's comments in Vienna, Austria 22 injured with knife and gunshot wounds and four killed a member of ISIS is shot dead by police nine minutes into his attack. And as I speak to you from London, the government here has raised at security alert to the highest level warning attacks here are likely, okay, just a little more background in case you don't know these satirical cartoons of the prophet Mohammed published in the Charlie Hebdo magazine in France also sparked attacks in 2015, they left 17 dead. The three gunman in  two attacks were shot by the police as the TV correspondent. I covered those attacks and the nation rallied around Charlie Hebdo in support of free speech, but this time it's a bit different in this backstory. We talked to an expert on secularism in France and why this is a free speech issue and Judah cellie and later [inaudible], she is a Muslim commentator on discrimination who says French Muslims are treated unfairly Dana Lewis - Host: (03:00) And that the French government, while dealing with terror also has to be more measured to Muslims who make up 9% of francis' population, both interviews, honestly, incredibly insightful to understand the different forces at work in France and the backstory behind the headlines. All right. And Judah Kelly runs the international intelligence cluster and she consults on security, efficient, uh, issues. And she joins me now from Paris high-end hi. I sort of make a practice of asking people during COVID 19, how they're doing. I mean, you were under locked down as we speak and we are about to go under, locked down in London yet again. Anne Guidicelli: (03:44) Yeah, I think it's more and more, I mean, we'll have more, more countries that are in our case. Well, let's say we have a  double, a  double knock down  one, which is a link to a health and the other  one to security because we, as we, you know, we, we went through three attacks in  one month, a terrorist attacks. So, uh, while with a big, uh, protest, I mean, uh, criticize him coming from the Muslim countries. So it's, uh, we have, let's say three craziest 200 nowadays security has and diplomatic. So, uh, it's, it's, let's say it's not a holiday. Dana Lewis - Host: (04:32) And what is the, what is the mood there? Like, I mean, there's, there's, there has been more security deployed to the street and visible security. I understand around churches and, uh, historic sites and that kind of thing. The army actually, right. Anne Guidicelli: (04:47) It's part of a system which was already existing, which is called the VGP heart, which has been raised to the, the, uh, it was the highest lever that means having more security forces in the streets. And, uh, I mean, uh, well, it's not specific to this time it's to this barrier it's, uh, uh, any times there is, uh, any, um, at dark or a suspicion of attack, it's much more linked to, to show that. Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure. I mean, it's much more to, let's say there any waiting to do something or even to, we ensure the people that they are in, in the safe situation, because they can see, uh, uniforms and forces in the streets. So it's much more, I mean, for, uh, for that then to really prevent, uh, the rest of day, Dana Lewis - Host: (05:51) I heard a lot of the terror attack in France. So I've, I've been to Paris many times, uh, after the attacks on Charlie and the bot, the Klan theater attacks. Um, and they are some of the most, uh, bloody shocking, uh, terror attacks that I have covered. But I mean, but the Klan theater, uh, was a horrendous event and I, and, uh, I'm sure people can not forget there and plus all of the shootings and the cafes leading down the street towards about the clan. And I mean, at that time, you know, there were these tremendous marches in France and, uh, through Paris, you know, it was just, we, Charlotte, we are Charlie and people really came out despite the publication of these cartoons and supported Charlie Hebdo, is, is this different? Anne Guidicelli: (06:39) Well, you know, uh, first of all, what the meaning of being Charlie, I mean, everybody can understand it, uh, differently, uh, being Sharley could mean being for the, some kind of, uh, freedom of expression, but being Sharley, uh, could also mean that we like those scary catchers Orca cartoons, which is not the case of the whole people in France. So, um, so you can put your other understanding, uh, in that you can, you can be, you can be a challis who not being Charlie, but not against Charlie. He wants that being that we fought, we, not all people are, let's say agreeing with such a satirical cartoon, uh, but the, or agree for freedom of expression, you understand the, the, the, the, the smaller distinction between the  two, Dana Lewis - Host: (07:50) Right? But that distinction is lost on another culture. Um, because Muslim people who follow the Muslim faith believe that they are insulting the prophet Mohammed, uh, you know,  one with a bomb in his turban, uh, another  one with him crawling on the ground, they're associating the prophet Muhammad with attacks of terror and extremism. Um, and so to them, it it's insulting and it is not freedom of expression. And yet to the French public, you have this term, and maybe you can explain it to me a little bit, and it is less C T let's see, T which essentially means secular secularism. Anne Guidicelli: (08:31) Yes. Right. It's secure secular States yet secure is in fact that mean that well also, you see, um, it's very important to, to, uh, to use the proper word because it's not as well as Charlie is not understood in the same way the Lacy day or securities is, um, uh, according to who is using it or who is understanding it. It's not the same reality. You see, sorry. Dana Lewis - Host: (09:05) In what way is it different depending on it, Anne Guidicelli: (09:07) Some of you have a Tran here, um, that I call the laces. Like we said, the Islamists, if you take the word light light, which is a four Lacy tape, uh, let's say secure very stuff, if you want that, that means that they are activists in, um, in the, in promoting Lacy against religions, which is not at all the, the real meaning of, uh, lady CT or secretaries security. Dana Lewis - Host: (09:43) I mean, historically in the, in the French state and the Republic was the separation between church and state, wasn't an in to push the Catholic church. Anne Guidicelli: (09:54) But that was, first of all, in the history, you have an agreement with the catalysis then with the GDSs, I mean the Jewish community. Now it seems that it could be the turn of the Mexican community. So, uh, but the, the real meaning of [inaudible] is, um, to, um, that everybody can have his own face and leave his, or his own face, but in the public, uh, space, uh, you are only  one community that's mean that you can, you don't have to show your difference, which is completely the other system that the  one in, in the United States or in the UK, or it's, uh, it's not a lot of the same approach. Uh it's once  one community is the nation nation is full of the same citizen. And if they have some differences, like a religion, so they have to leave that in their, uh, privates SoCo, not to, to show up with that. Anne Guidicelli: (11:07) That's a bit complicated even to understand for the French people in the meeting that, uh, some, sometime some, let's say in some territories, just to, to, let's say to please some, uh, some, uh, association you will allow them to, uh, to have specific hours for swimming pool, uh, for, for girls in the swimming pool, because they, and they will get some votes, of course, uh, I think the majors, for instance, but, uh, that, that, what I want to say is that, um, now, uh, the Lacy's, uh, trans eh, or wink is, is trying to, to use, uh, the Lacy as, as an, an arm, a weapon against Islam. That's now a things how they are moving. And, um, it is perceived now abroad specifically in the Michigan countries, uh, like that. Uh, so, so, uh, we are now in that debate and they, um, uh, me and my side that I really tried to, um, work, um, to, to  one the authorities and the, the opinion that the republishing of the cartoon of those prophet Hammad cartoons, uh, wasn't very, very threatening. Um, uh, ms. [inaudible], Dana Lewis - Host: (12:54) I want to just clarify, I want to be clear because you make a distinction between the original publication and the republication in you believe that the republication, uh, was a provocation. Anne Guidicelli: (13:10) Yes. Uh, I mean, not a provocation, but is doesn't mean freedom of expression in that case. Uh, I mean, because you know, a very small who, I mean, surely those cartoon has becomes like the, the, you know, the, the flag, uh, of the freedom of expression, which is not how, uh, it's not so shared within the French, uh, opinion, but as they are being victim of a terrorist attack, the let's say being a victim doesn't allow, uh, uh, to, uh, lose, um, the understanding of the world in ways in which we are, Dana Lewis - Host: (13:59) Why doesn't, uh, president Macron just condemn the republishing of the cartoon. Why doesn't he say, look, we understand that the sensitivities of the Muslim population, um, w we support the original publication, but republication obviously is causing bloodshed and division within society just don't, you know, I, I'm not going to ban you from public publishing them, but it was wrong to publish them. Why won't he take that step? Or do you believe that that's something he shouldn't do that he should stand up and by supporting free speech, he should support those cartoons. Anne Guidicelli: (14:39) Yeah, it's exactly what a former, uh, president Chirac has done, uh, more than, uh, uh, let's say, 14 years ago. Uh, when it, when he just said that it was very angry with the publishing at the time, because that will make the water Muslim world very angry, and they will not understand that you, I mean that in explanation. So, uh, what I mean, um, what happened, what is happening nowadays was very predictable. And, uh, but the fact, as I said previously, as Charlie Hebdo has been attacked, they are like some sexual lions are like, Holy, uh, people, you know, that's mean that you cannot tell them, or is not good for you, what you're doing, because we understand you have been victim. So that has impacted, uh, the debates and that's, uh, really, uh, puts, um, macro, uh, a very complicated solution as, um, is there is, I mean, the opposition Dana Lewis - Host: (15:52) You're right. Okay. I want to ask you, because the opposition, like Marilla Penn, who was far right. And as it is by a lot of estimates, Islamophobic, um, that, because he has elections coming up Macron, he has to play to the far right. To some degree. I mean, is that, is that unfair, or do you think that that's, what's taking place? Anne Guidicelli: (16:13) Well, he's between  two, uh, let's say, uh, track, uh, um, and also trap, we can say as well, you have the trap of the, the right extreme right-wing of course, that, uh, is in position now to use what is going on against the, the platforms per se, and, uh, as well, you have the, let's say the, the laziest people. I mean, those people who are like, uh, you know, a majority in the media or in the, let's say certain intellectual circle that say, we cannot touch our freedom of expression. If you touch to the cartoon, you will touch the horror, our more, uh, value, uh, uh, for fear of expression. And you have a certain voice that I, I, I do represents, uh, which is, uh, I mean, uh, freedom of expression doesn't mean that you have to, um, uh, let's say humiliate people. And, uh, and, uh, I remember the Obama speech in 2009, uh, when he addressed the Muslim world in Cairo and telling that when you, you attack  one, when believing, when belief, you just, uh, attack the whole whole of them. So it really address a very, very good speech. And I, uh, tried to, to not to put it as a mother, that's what we could do, what the president could do now, uh, instead of having, let's say a kind of a very, a military speech, you know, very, uh, strong and, Anne Guidicelli: (18:15) Um, Obama at the time was using a very positive speech. And, uh, let's say towards the Michelin people, uh, not the missing States. So he contributed to, uh, give some humanity and the D politicized, or if we can say that, um, the, the debates and, uh, is the Islam compatible, uh, with the Republic or the democracy. Dana Lewis - Host: (18:47) But do you think of Macron had been more conciliatory and found more middle ground rather than making this tough on terrorist speech come out and said, look, we condemn terror. We condemn what happened in nice. We condemn violence at any stage, but we also ask for sensitivity to religious symbols that may anger the Muslim population, uh, not as a sign of surrender, but as a sign of inclusion, do you think that would have taken the temperature down a little bit and why couldn't he do that? I mean, he must have known what he was doing. Anne Guidicelli: (19:21) Yeah, sure. You know, uh, differently Chirac, uh, he doesn't know very well he's part of the world, but if you notice at the beginning, he, he said something during the, his campaign, uh, telling that the, the, the war in geria, uh, was, you know, a mistake and colonization was a, uh, crime of humanity. It was, uh, something that very far from his position nowadays. So we can understand that. I mean, I'm, I'm sure that he really, uh, he doesn't like the cartoons, those cartoons, but, uh, he it's too late anywhere nowadays, because the, all the, I mean, the, the consequences, the impact of not only the republication of challis and those cartoons, but also what he said about these radical Islam and the, what he called the [inaudible], which is, uh, fighting against the community who are living communities, which are living in France, but not, not in compliance with the French system, uh, recovery. So, uh, that has not been well understood and also very well as to metabolized by of course, uh, missing brother, uh, brotherhood, uh, and the other country like Turkey who jumps on the occasion. Dana Lewis - Host: (21:03) Yeah. President Eric, the  one certainly called him crazy to some degree. And you have, uh, you know, leaders around the world and demonstrations around the world against France now, and Macron really making it out to be the, that France is against, uh, the, against the Muslims, even though France has taken in so many Muslims. Anne Guidicelli: (21:25) Yeah. I mean, uh, I think that's, we are now, I mean, me, I'm really promoting, I advocate the fact that we have to dialogue, dialogue, explain, explain what is our STEM put more value of? I mean, what, what the Muslim, the French ms. Freeman had, uh, brought to our, uh, success or our country, you know, all positive things that that could be cool. And, uh, we re recreate some, uh, some, uh, dialogue and, uh, uh, respects. And, uh, Dana Lewis - Host: (22:06) Right now the divide is, is growing. And th th just, it's just the promise of more, more bloodshed and more conflict. Do you think Anne Guidicelli: (22:17) There's many consequences? First of all, of course, security, a consequence under, in the T under the territory, but also abroad because, um, the, the risk is to have similar to news attacks in France and in another country against French targets, interest or individuals. And, uh, the second  one is, uh, uh, diplomatic. That means that, uh, uh, France will not, would not be able to make his voice, its voice hurts anymore. And, uh, somebody of economical consequence is because, uh, some country could choose to buy some, uh, uh, to sign big deals, you know, with, uh, the, the French, uh, big companies, because they are French. So, uh, eh, we cannot trust any more French people and we don't want to have them on the ground and things like that. So the only things to do is to, uh, at least to, to, to, to, to hold the narrative about domestic things in France and the, the, how we consider the Muslim civilization. And it was all seen as, you know, the counter influence. The, even some say, may not know to, uh, to come to the provider that, that in some country, uh, by, uh, [inaudible] and all the radical trends that, that friendship is fighting Dana Lewis - Host: (24:04) Anne Guidicelli from the international intelligence cluster. And great to talk to you, thank you for being generous with your time. Anne Guidicelli: (24:10) Thank you. Dana Lewis - Host: (24:15) Rokhaya Diallo is a writer and documentary maker in Paris. Uh, she does a lot of writing for many different sources, including the Washington post, and she is a prominent anti-racist campaigner and very prominent in France. Thank you very much for joining us. Rokhaya Diallo: (24:30) Thank you. Thank you for inviting me. Dana Lewis - Host: (24:32) You're a black feminist daughter of Muslim, uh Singhalese and Gambian immigrants. And you grew up in Paris, uh, in a suburb there, and you earn your living sort of writing about race and France. And I only, I only say this and draw the attention to the fact that you have a Muslim background, because it's important understanding how Muslims feel right now in France. Can you tell me, um, you know, you're in touch with the community? What are people saying? Rokhaya Diallo: (24:59) Yes. Um, it's a very difficult time because, um, they have been from the politicians, uh, constant, uh, demands, uh, to the Muslim community to say openly that they didn't stand with the terrorists. And the thing is that it's very offensive to say that because most of the, uh, official organism Muslim organizations have ascended deepest condolences, um, after the attacks and have said how they were, um, standing with the rest of the, of the nation against terrorism and the idea that Muslims should stand, um, higher than the rest of the population, um, draw a line between us and them who are supposedly close to extremism. And who's, if they don't say anything, we'll be, you know, people could be suspicious against them. So it's, it's kind of difficult. Even myself as a Muslim domain is, have faced, faced some, some nasty moments, Dana Lewis - Host: (26:03) Nasty moments in terms of people lashing out at you in the community. Rokhaya Diallo: (26:07) Uh, no. Um, for example, I have been very, uh, I have been  one of the people who were very critique against Shania DOE before the attacks. I signed an op ed in 2011. So it was, um, four years before the deadly attacks to say that to me, uh, the way they were using, um, their, uh, their cartoons was what's kind of nurturing, feeding and Islamophobic context. So, uh, that, that, uh, op ed was signed in a context where, uh, Sharia do was already did, did already face an attack that was not deadly. It was in the night, it was a fire. So I signed that op-ed, Dana Lewis - Host: (26:50) This is before the actual shootings took place in 2015 in their office. Rokhaya Diallo: (26:54) It was four years, four years before. And, and we still don't know who said the local on fire. And the thing is that we were 22 sign the op ed, and that I am the only  one to be consented with, questioned about me, about my signature. And  two weeks ago, I was in a debate about gender, about feminism, and a very prominent philosopher told me that I was, um, I was responsible for the shooting. And before saying that, he said, you are a Muslim black woman, and you aren't the arms of the terrorists. You say that on the TV channel in front of 1 million people, I was in shock because, you know, I didn't understood the, the, the reason for reminding that I was Muslim. And to say that the text that I signed years before the shooting was made me having any relationship with the terrorist. So it was, it really was major contributors here in France, but it reminded me that besides being a journalist to some people, I was seeing a Muslim woman, Dana Lewis - Host: (28:04) Where is the truth between the  two, this great division within France, because the, the original publication of the cartoons, which resulted in those shootings, um, you know, obviously all of us stood with France at the time I was a reporter. I came to Paris and I covered that. Um, and we felt that, you know, obviously there was extreme violence going after cartoonists in an office and shooting them. And, um, and then there was also another attack on, uh, on a grocer Jewish grocery store. Um, and, and people felt terrible and they felt real solidarity with France. And yet there is many people that are uncomfortable with the publishing of these cartoons because they do offend. So, so where do you either have to be on Macron side or on the Muslim population side? Or do you think most people in France fits somewhere in the middle? Rokhaya Diallo: (28:59) I think that many people are in the middle. Like you, you have people who understand that we have the right to publish any cartoon. And I understand that, I understand that it's the freedom of speech and you have the right to criticize any religion. The thing is that, why are you doing that? Like, I understand the idea that, um, [inaudible] is a, is a, is, um, humoristic newspaper. And th they have a way to use satire to tack people and to make them make fun of them. But to me, it's my personal conception. When you are power as a, as a newspaper, the is to make fun of those who are in position of power. So constantly, uh, targeting Muslims is there, right? But I'm not sure, uh, about the reason because Muslims, people, Muslim people are already at the bottom of the society that they belong to the poorest fringes of the French society. They face constant discrimination, a constant offensive language in the media. So I think on the top, the top of that, um, those, um, how can I say that offensive cartoons? I don't know how it can help us getting any better. Dana Lewis - Host: (30:20) Good. Tell me, why do you think that president Macron didn't deliver? I mean, he's an intelligent person. Why did he not deliver a more measured statement after the beheading of the school teacher obviously was an emotional moment for him and for the, for France, that violence, again, a terrible act of violence against the teacher teacher, who, who through educating people about free speech, showed some cartoons and there was a debate whether he should have or not. But do you think that Macron could have been a little more measured and a little more sensitive to the Muslim population? Why was he not? And did he, did he do that intentionally, do you think because of the political field in France and elections are, are in front of them? Rokhaya Diallo: (31:03) I think that my coins in a very, very tricky position, because those cartoons as the cost, the customer lives, and it was a major trauma in France, the killing in China do. And then in the, in the, in the [inaudible], the Jewish supermarket was, uh, a major tumor because it was so horrendous. And so I think that from that time, the cartoons have been the symbol of freedom of speech. And people would say that it is our identity, and we need to stand in the defense. And I think that Muslims don't process it that way. No, like that there are most of the Muslim, I'm not comfortable with the cartoons, but they're, you know, they're okay. They're like, okay, it's okay. We won't say anything because it's the freedom of speech, but I, they're not, they're not comfortable with that. And there is a small portion of postpone portion of people who, um, are violent, but it's, it's, it's like just a, no, some, some, some persons. Rokhaya Diallo: (32:03) And the thing is that I think that my home cannot really, uh, uh, have a more balanced, uh, this course without it can't because it would anger the majority of, uh, French people. Because I think that most of them think that it is the symbol of our identity of free, free speech. We don't, I don't think, I don't think it's like, I don't think that our free speech or free speech only stands in those cartoons, but it has become a kind of symbol of what we stand for. And the fact that so many countries, um, out of friends don't understand what we are doing, really feed the idea that we are a very particular identity and way of defending freedom of speech. So we need to stand and to defend of French particularism. And it's a trap because my comb, it cannot say that it's offensive. And at the same time, it cannot say that we need to give up because it would send a message that, Oh, we have lost, uh, to, uh, terrorism and violence. Dana Lewis - Host: (33:15) I'm Canadian. I talking to you from London, but I'm Canadian. My prime minister Trudeau came out and he said, he said in, in, in solidarity with friends and in condemning violence, he also said in a press conference, um, freedom of expression does not come without limits. We owe it to ourselves to act with respect for others and seek not to arbitrarily or unnecessarily injure those with whom we're sharing a society that's measured. Rokhaya Diallo: (33:44) Yes, that's measured. And I definitely understand what he says. And the thing is that in France, in France, many people commented what he said as Oh, as him being a coward. You see? So they don't understand that he's trying to bring, um, a whole society together and to make sure that the freedom of some wouldn't be an offense to the others. It's, um, it's not seen like that. And, um, and, and to me, there is this, we, we, we don't in France. We don't really understand what it is to be a minority. And the fact that you cannot just say I'm free to say anything. And that freedom would be offensive to a group that is already, um, already on the side, on the side, on the side of the society. So I feel like, um, we coming from a very different culture in which, um, the culture of the majority, uh, is not seen as dominant, but it's seen as being the norm. Dana Lewis - Host: (34:45) I mean, obviously they have some history there with the Roman Catholic church and, and S and Francis secular ism and separation of church and state. But they, they apparently haven't explained this very well to people like president Erdogan of Turkey who sees this as, you know, what is Macron's problem with Islam and nor have they seem to explain it to their own people, people who have immigrated to France and live there and are French citizens. Rokhaya Diallo: (35:13) I think that people understand because you don't have protests in France, again, against the cartoons. You don't have protests from French Muslims. Most of the organizations and the religious leaders, they come to, to try to bring peace to the public experience. Actually, I think that the French Muslims are much more moderate than Muslims from the other countries, but still they are facing demands to say louder and louder that they are not terrorists, that there are, uh, they are okay with the caricatures, which is, you know, you can just, uh, don't care. You can just not care about the characters, but I think that there is a difference between what was the situation of France in the early 20th century with the church that was dominant. And we get to racism being the religion of the majority. And now there is no, uh, Islam is not in the same position. It's not threatening the power of the state and Muslim people are less than 10% of the population. And among them, uh, there are the poorest, um, fringes of, uh, the French nation. So it's not the same. There is no threat of Islam, uh, you know, getting over, uh, the French state. So it's very different. Dana Lewis - Host: (36:29) Two,  two quick questions, president air to  one. Do you think that that was helpful? What he said, do you think that he, he thought he's standing up for Muslims, or do you think that he was igniting the situation further in France? Rokhaya Diallo: (36:41) You know, um, uh, I think is, is, is just, um, using that what's going on to, to make domestic politics because, you know, we haven't heard him being that loud against China and the way they are treating wiggles. So like, I understand that there is an issue in France, but if you cannot be a president dealing so well with China and not saying anything about the way Muslims are tortured there, and then, uh, say that France is your, uh, top problem. So I think that, Dana Lewis - Host: (37:13) And obviously they have a little bit of history Macron in there, the  one over Greece and the Mediterranean and other differences Rokhaya Diallo: (37:19) And the integration. So I think in just, it's just taking advantage of the rage rage against Muslims, community, Muslim communities, Dana Lewis - Host: (37:27) Where does this go from here to, to wrap this up, do you think, and what do, what do you worry about? Is it going to become more radicalized? And is there going to be more violence? Um, or how, how does, where does it go from here? It doesn't seem, we've seen this attack in Vienna now. Um, and obviously there's the danger that, um, there, isn't more understanding in the Muslim community in France, that there is less, uh, and they feel more discriminated against. Um, and that acts like what has taken place with the school teacher become even more possible tragically Rokhaya Diallo: (38:07) It's, it's, um, it's very concerning actually, because I can feel that with the pandemic, with the lockdown, there is much tension in the French society, as well as many, many, many other societies. And the fact that the government is focusing so much on trying to shut down and Muslim organizations, uh, so quickly, um, make, um, Muslim people think that there are criminalized for just being openly Muslim and trying to stand for their rights. So on  one side, it goes, uh, you know, to, to, to feel, to fuel the idea that, um, that, uh, you know, you are not accepted as a Muslim in the French nation. And then on the other side, there is, um, these like, uh, civilization, civilization, war rhetoric that makes French, uh, you know, that makes, uh, the country having the idea that we are standing alone against another civilization, civilization, which is not true. It's much more complex than that. Dana Lewis - Host: (39:14) Well, and as we speak, you know, even here in the United Kingdom, now they've increased the security alert to the top level, and they're worried about attacks here. So it is spreading beyond francis' borders, but Rokia Diablo really pleasure to talk to you. Thanks for being so generous with your time. And it was great to have your thoughts. Rokhaya Diallo: (39:30) Thank you. It was a pleasure. Thank you for inviting me, Mexico Q4 Speaker 2: (39:34) In that hour, backstory on France and free speech and the crackdown on radical Muslims who have used terror in an attempt to silence what they view as offensive cartoon. Much of this took place when America was consumed with its election and the cliff edge dramatic vote count. I mean, we can't blame Americans if they tuned out of international news and missed a lot. And I was watching a lot of it too, but usually us news networks don't cover the world the way they should. That's why we bring you backstory with Dana Lewis. Please share this podcast subscribe, and you're welcome to sponsor this podcast. Get in touch, stay healthy, and I'll talk to you again soon.

[queen-of-deans-booty]

Faith- Part 2

Pairing: Eventual Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,337

Warnings: Typical Supernatural violence, angst, language, minor character death, blood, you know the usual

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Supernatural. All credit goes to their respective owners. Please, if you want to be tagged for this series, let me know and I’ll add you! If you want to be tagged for my other fics, I’ll add you! I want to hear what you guys think about this. If you want something requested, send it in!

Feedback is always appreciated

Tags at the bottom

Part One

The whole room was covered in pages upon pages upon pages of research about heart care. You were getting nowhere but you were by yourself in this. You decided to shut Sam out and be by yourself in one room while Sam was in another. You really needed help and even though he might not answer, you gave him a call.

This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son, Dean. He’s with a woman named Y/N. 866-907-3235. They can help, they always help.

“John? I don’t know if you’ll get this but in the hopes that you do, please call me back. It’s Dean. He’s dying and I really need your help. The doctors say they can’t do anything for him but they obviously don’t know the things we know. John, I can’t lose him. I love him and I need him alive. Please, if you can help, call me back. If you can’t help, still, call me back. I really want you here. But I will make him better. I’ll do whatever it takes to make him better. I just thought that maybe you should know about this.”

The voicemail cut you off but you were done anyways. You sighed and hung up, too much in your thoughts to hear someone knocking. You were crying but you didn’t care if anyone saw.

“Sweetheart?” Your head popped up at the sound of Dean’s voice and you got up, opening the door. You let more tears fall because he wasn’t looking too good anyways. No matter the state Dean was in, he was always beautiful. He was wearing jeans and a hoodie and he never wears a hoodie.

“Dean, what are you doing here?” You looked behind him to see Sam not looking at you. You took Dean’s hand and pulled him inside the room you were in and pulled him into a hug, careful to not hurt him.

“I checked myself out.”

“What, are you crazy?” You pulled back and looked up at him.

“Well, I'm not going to die in a hospital where the nurses aren't even hot. Plus, you were here and I needed to see you.”

“Dean, I’m trying my best to help. I don’t know what Sam came up with but I couldn’t think of anything. I’m so sorry.” You looked down, letting more tears fall.

“Hey, hey, hey,” Dean said, wincing as he cupped both of your cheeks. “I am not going anywhere. Please don’t blame yourself on this. I wouldn’t want that on you.” He wiped your tears away with the pads of his thumbs.

“I don’t know what else to do.” You said, defeated.

“Uh, guys, I found something.” Sam said, knowing on the door. You held Dean’s hand and helped him out of the room where you helped him get seated. You wouldn’t leave his side.

“I've been scouring the Internet for the last three days. Calling every contact in Dad's journal.” Sam said, getting started.

“For what?” Dean asked.

“For a way to help you. One of Dad's friends, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist.”

“You're not going to let me die in peace, are you?” Dean sighed.

“We’re not letting you die, period. I don’t care if this is the craziest idea ever but we’re going.” You said, leaving no room for debate.

It was lightly raining when you arrived at your destination. The road was really gravelly, making every bump and turn painful for Dean. You were sitting in the back seat but you had a hand on Dean’s shoulder to let him know you were there and that you weren’t going anywhere. There was a small, white tent outside and people gathering around, going inside it. Whatever was inside was really important according to Sam and Joshua.

Sam was the one driving and once he parked, you were out of the car and opening the door for Dean. You paused, letting him look around and you took the opportunity to do the same.

“Sam, where are we?” Your eyes landed on a sign that read: The Church of Roy LeGrange. Faith Healer. Witness The Miracle.

“A place where we can get help.” Sam said simply, coming around the car and starting to help Dean out of it.

“I got you.” Sam tried to help.

“I got it.” Dean said angrily, pushing his brother away. You frowned at Dean's tone because you knew Dean hated feeling helpless and useless. He hated having other people help him do things he could easily do himself.

“Here,” You said, walking over to Dean and holding out your hand for him to take. Dean looked at you and sighed, grabbing your hand and you helped him out of the car since he was really weak.

“Man, you are a lying bastard. Thought you said we were going to see a doctor.” Dean said. Apparently, he saw the sign you saw.

“I believe I said a specialist. Look, Dean, this guy's supposed to be the real deal.” Sam said, walking besides you and Dean.

“I can't believe you brought me here to see some guy who heals people out of a tent.” Dean scoffed, looking around at the different people there. A woman passed, holding an umbrella and stopped in front of you.

“Reverend LeGrange is a great man.” She passed by without another word.

“Yeah, that's nice.” Dean said, pissed off. You sighed and held onto his arm. You walked past an angry man who was talking with a cop.

“I have a right to protest. This man is a fraud and he's milking all these people out of their hard-earned money.” The man said, frustrated. You wondered, by the different things people are saying, if this man is the real deal or not.

“Sir, this is a place of worship. Let's go. Move it.” You watched as they walked away and you sighed. You weren’t a believer of God but some people were and they took that very seriously.

“I take it he's not part of the flock.” Dean commented on the man.

“When people see something they can't explain, there's controversy.” Sam said, walking closer to the tent.

“I mean, come on, Sam, a faith healer?” Dean said, skeptical.

“Maybe it's time to have a little faith, Dean.” Sam said, looking at his brother.

“You know what I've got faith in? Reality; knowing what's really going on.”

“Dean, please don’t say that.” You weren’t going to accept the fact that he will die. You had to do something.

“What do you want me to say, Y/N? That I won’t die? That I don’t believe in some faith healer? This is all crap!”

“How can you be a skeptic? With the things we see every day?” Sam said. You weren’t a skeptic but you weren’t a believer. It was complicated.

“Exactly. We see them, we know there real.” Dean argued.

“But if you know evil's out there, how can you not believe good's out there, too?” You asked gently. You didn’t want Dean yelling at you again.

“Because I've seen what evil does to good people.” Dean said sadly. He was talking about his mom and his dad. They were good people and they didn’t deserve the things that happened to them.

“Maybe God works in mysterious ways.” A mysterious woman said. You and the boys turned to her and she smiled.

“Maybe he does. I think you just turned me around on the subject.” Dean smirked. You looked at him to see him checking her out. You let go of him and sighed to yourself. What did last night and this morning mean to him? Apparently, nothing.

“Yeah, I'm sure.” The girl smiled knowingly.

“I'm Dean. This is Sam and that is Y/N.” Dean said, holding out his hand for her to shake. The same hand that you were holding.

“Layla. So, if you're not a believer, then why are you here?” She shook his hand and smiled at Sam and then at you.

“Well, apparently, my brother here believes enough for the both of us.” He didn’t mention you and you frowned at that.

“Come on, Layla. It's about to start.” You saw an older woman put an arm around Layla’s shoulder. The woman took her away and inside the tent. You followed them, leaving Sam and Dean alone.

“Well, I bet you she can work in some mysterious ways.” You heard Dean say. You grew angry at his words. What did those moments mean to him? Was he just waiting for someone better to come along and waste his time with you?

The tent was filled with a lot of people, taking seats all over. You saw seats in the back and was about to sit there when you saw a security camera in the corner of the tent. Yeah peace, love and trust all over.

“No, come on.” Sam pushed past you, dragging Dean behind him.

“Don't! What are you doing? Let's sit here.” Dean pleaded, looking to the back.

“We're sitting up front.” Sam said.

“What? Why?’ You whispered hastily and followed the boys to three empty seats behind Layla and the older woman who you assumed was her mom.

“Oh, come on, Sam,” Dean growled out. “This is ridiculous.” You saw Sam trying to help his brother out, placing his hands all over Dean’s body.

“I'm good, dude, get off me.” Dean shrugged his brother off. You followed the boys and Sam got in first, and Dean let you go second so Dean had the aisle seat. You saw as a blind man made his way to the stage with his wife, smiling at the crowd.

You never met a blind person but heard once the eyesight was gone, all other senses were heightened. You assumed the blind man was Roy because that is who everyone was dying to see. No pun attended.

“Each morning, my wife, Sue Ann, reads me the news. Never seems good, does it? Seems like there's always someone committing some immoral, unspeakable act. But, I say to you, God is watching.” As he was talking, your eyes shifted over to the table onstage. It was filled with religious items. You noticed a weird looking wooden cross that is topped by a smaller cross in a circle. It was strange to look at but Roy talking brought you back to reality.

“God rewards the good, and He punishes the corrupt. It is the Lord who does the healing here friends. The Lord who guides me in choosing who to heal by helping me see into people's hearts.” Roy smiled.

“Yeah, and into their wallets.” Dean whispered to you and Sam.

“You think so, young man?” Roy said to Dean. You and the rest of the crowd immediately fell silent. Everyone was staring at you and Dean. You hated attention.

“Sorry about that.” Dean said a little louder.

“No, no, don't be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we've got real sharp ears,” Roy chuckled. “What’s your name, son?”

“Dean.” Dean said hesitantly. You had no idea what was going to happen.

“Dean. I want-I want you to come up here with me.” Your eyes widened as the crowd started cheering. Your eyes scanned all the happy faces in the crowd but stopped when you landed on Layla and her mother. Her mother seemed to be glaring at Dean and Layla sad.

“No, it’s okay.” Dean said.

“What are you doing?!” Sam whispered hastily to his brother.

“You've come here to be healed, haven't you?” Roy wondered.

“Well, yeah, but, uh, maybe you should pick someone else.” Dean said, not wanting the attention on him.

“Dean, maybe he might be able to do something.” You whispered to him.

“Oh, no. I didn't pick you, Dean, the Lord did.” Roy smiled.

“Get up there!” Sam said excitedly. Dean reluctantly got up and he looked very unsure of this. Sue Ann helped him up to the stage and she was smiling. She helped Dean walk over to Roy and you couldn’t take your eyes off Dean. When Dean thought something was fishy, it usually was. You didn’t know why the alarm bells were ringing off but they were.

“You ready?” Roy smiled.

“Look, no disrespect, but uh, I'm not exactly a believer.” Dean said.

“You will be, son. You will be,” Roy said with a smile. “Pray with me, friends.” He said to the crowd. Everyone in the crowd lifted their arms up and you watched what would happen on stage. You bit your lip as Roy lifted his hands into the air and placed one on Dean’s shoulder and one on the side of his face.

“Alright now. Alright now.” Roy muttered. Dean’s eyes became glassy and his knees buckled underneath him. He fell to the ground on his knees but when Roy took his hand off his face, Dean closed his eyes and fell to the floor.

“No! Dean!” You yelled, running on stage and getting next to him. You heard another pair of footsteps and Sam was right next to you. You lifted Dean’s head and tears started streaming down your face.

“What the hell did you do to him?!” You cried, looking at Roy. The crowd wouldn’t stop clapping but you didn’t know what was happening to Dean. You looked back at Dean and touched his face, hoping he would wake up. Suddenly, Dean shot awake and he sat up.

“Dean!” You let out a relieved breath. You put your head on his chest and was thanking whoever that he was awake. You didn’t know if he would be better but he was awake and that was good. You pulled away and looked up at Dean who was looking behind you. You looked there but didn’t see anything. You needed the get him to a hospital and fast. You needed to know if he was okay or not.

Part Three

Masterlist // Series Rewrite Masterlist // Buy me a Coffee?

Series Rewrite tags:

@helllonearth @amyisabellal @deanwnchstr @caseykitten6 @roxalya19 @quixoticcat @supernaturalblogging

Forever tags:

@maddieburcham1 @ginamsmith @mogaruke @whit85-blog @inlovewithbja @spn67-sister @kdfrqqg @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes

Dean tags:

@akshi8278 @mega-mrs-dean-winchester @winchesterandpie

Other tags:

@jensen-jarpad @notnaturalanahi @deathtonormalcy56 @27bmm

[kidsviral-blog]

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/49-real-life-labor-and-delivery-stories-if-you-can-handle-them/

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

Childbirth is no walk in the park. Unless you happen to be walking in the park when it happens.

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

The BuzzFeed Community asked readers to share their craziest memories from labor and delivery with us, and holy wow did they come through. If you’ve never given birth, proceed with caution. No, seriously.

1. “He delivered our baby on our bathroom floor.”

“As we were getting ready to leave for the hospital, I thought I was going to poop the turd of the century. I ran to the bathroom. My boyfriend was screaming, ‘What are you doing?! We have to go!’ And I yelled back, ‘I can’t stop it! I think I have to poop but this just doesn’t feel right!’

My eyes widened and I yelled ‘THIS BABY IS COMING NOW.’ My poor boyfriend delivered our baby boy on our bathroom floor at 4:50 a.m. So, to my precious, perfect babe, yes. I thought you were a giant, monstrous shit, not a 7 pound, 14 ounce squishy ball of cute.”

–Chantel Guidera, Facebook

View this image ›

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

2. “Her water broke in the middle of a Burger King…”

“When my mom was pregnant with me her water broke in the middle of a Burger King, so she threw down her cup of soda to hide the evidence.”

–Catie LaGrasta, Facebook

3. “I taught him in med school.”

“I was in mid-labor when a shift change occurred and the OB on call asked if I minded some interns coming through. Not at all, until one of the interns looks up, mid-examination, and asks me whether I taught neuroanatomy at a local medical school. Yeppers. I had taught him in med school. All I could think to ask was whether he had passed my class as I sure as heck wasn’t in much of a position to remember him!”

–Jen Kulak, Facebook

View this image ›

4. “I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

“My husband was front and center of the action, and on my second push my water broke violently in a huge, forceful gush. Being a paramedic, my husband is really, really good at dodging bodily fluids. Immediately after my water broke, I heard him say, ‘What the hell was that?’ from the opposite end of the bed from where he had just been. Not a drop on him; I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

–Brittaney Gilmore, Facebook

5. “Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!”

“My baby had a BM [bowel movement] in utero, so the first thing I heard when the doctor opened me up for the C-section was, ‘Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!'”

–Rosanna Bigford, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

6. “It was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

“When my mom was in labor with my sister, her water broke and all of it splashed onto the wall, almost hitting the doctor.

A couple of years later my mom was in labor with my little brother and her water exploded in the waiting room all over the floor. She was horrified. The nurse tried to comfort her. ‘Don’t worry,’ she told her, ‘there was one woman whose fluids ended up all over the wall.’

‘Yeah,’ my mom said, ‘that was me.’ Apparently she was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

–Rachel Elizabeth Mabey, Facebook

7. “I was peeing all over myself.”

“I had gotten my epidural, and during one of the hourly checks, my nurse was discharging my bladder. I really have no idea how she did it, but it involved some sort of tube into my bladder and into one of those pink tubs. Well, she did the tube thing, was looking at my stats, and I felt something move between my legs. Basically the pee tube had popped out of the tub, and I was just peeing all over myself. Honestly, I wasn’t really that embarrassed. I mean, the woman had already had her hand up my vag how many times at this point?”

–Tiffany Adams, Facebook

8. “I had two choices: Wipe my face, or be a good sister.”

“My sister was in delivery and I was holding one leg as she was pushing. She had an epidural so she couldn’t feel a thing. As my niece’s head popped out, I got splattered in the face with juices. Decision time. Drop her leg and wipe my face or be a good sister and keep holding up that leg as the rest of the baby came out. I was a good sister. Have never washed my face so well in my life!”

–Meghan McGovern, Facebook

View this image ›

9. “You are scaring the moms in the other rooms.”

“I screamed bloody murder during my contractions. The nurse walked in and told me in the nicest voice, ‘You are scaring all the moms in the other rooms who aren’t as far along as you are.’ I didn’t care. I screamed until I got my shot.”

–Lorin Armstrong, Facebook

10. “Fuck! He knows I’ve got kids!”

“I was pretty loopy on gas while they were putting the epidural in for my emergency C-section. All I remember thinking was how gorgeous my anesthetist was, and that ‘fuck, he knows I’ve got kids!'”

–Sarah Kerby, Facebook

11. “Everything tasted blue.”

“I got really drunk on gas and air with my second daughter and said that I could smell melted vanilla ice cream and that everything tasted blue.”

–Maggie Moo Spiller, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

12. “Shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!”

“After about 30 hours in I yelled at my mother to ‘shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!'”

– Whitney Roy, Facebook

13. “My vagina feels drunk.”

“After trying to ‘breathe through the contractions’ for a few hours, I asked for an epidural. They gave it to me and it felt so good once it kicked in, I started to feel loopy because I was pain-free after so much pain. The anesthesiologist came in to check on me and asked me how I was doing. I looked at him and said ‘My vagina feels drunk’… He tried to keep a straight face and act professional but had to turn around because he was laughing so hard.”

–Erin Ann Johnson, Facebook

14. “My wife is high as a kite.”

“I kept asking my husband to call Colton so I could tell her I loved her and missed her. The nurse was so sweet — she asked me if I knew Colton’s phone number and I started to cry. She said she would lend me her phone so I could call her. As she pulls out her phone my husband comes in and asked what we were doing. She tells him we’re gonna call Colton ‘cause I obviously need her. He goes, ‘Colton is our dog. My wife is high as a kite.’ To which I started to cry again and asked him to bring her.”

–Nancy Jaimes-Soto, Facebook

15. “I sold a garage door during my C-section.”

“I was so doped up during my C-section that I spent the whole time slurring a sales speech to the anesthesiologist for a garage door and opener. LOL… He bought one a few weeks later though!”

–Angelica Halls, Facebook

View this image ›

16. “It’s a disaster down there.”

“Right after my daughter was born and they were sewing up my degree tear, my husband says: ‘Whatever you do, don’t look in the mirror. It’s a disaster down there.'”

–Karen Halker Miller, Facebook

17. “You can kiss her first if it makes you more comfortable.”

“We had a very sweet female nurse in training come in with another nurse. The experienced nurse checked for dilation and took note on it and told the student to take a try. It was very apparent she had never had her fingers in another female before and she looked terrified. My husband, who is NEVER serious and always tries to make others uncomfortable, says ‘You can kiss her first if it make you more comfortable’… *mortified*. She did NOT think it was funny…”

–Lauren Ashley Walton-McGee, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

18. “We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact.”

“There I am, post-epidural, and the nurse comes to see if my water has broken. ‘I think so’ I say, not really knowing what I was supposed to be looking for. So she slides her gloved hand up in my business, and with the slightest of pokes proceeds to break my water. Unfortunately, the shock was such that I immediately contracted and trapped her hand in my vag. We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact as her glove filled with fluid.”

–Madeleine Kaizer, Facebook

19. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.”

“So my doctor is an older guy and when he came in to break my water he says very professionally, ‘This won’t hurt at all, but you will feel a lot of pressure.’ So I sit back and prop up. He pulls out a massive torture device that looks like something from American Horror Story. He places it in me and I immediately arch my back and try to kick him away while screaming, ‘GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.’ He looked down ashamed and quietly laughed, ‘That’s the first time a woman has told me that.’ My husband beamed at my doctor with the potential friendship he saw blossoming.”

–Celeste Pitre, Facebook

20. “Wow, you need to wax.”

“When they put my legs up to start pushing my husband looked at my vag and said, ‘Wow. You need to wax.’ I’m not sure I have forgiven him yet.”

–Heather Drew, Facebook

21. “Are you flossing my vagina?”

“When my beautiful 10 pound 3 ounce baby girl was born my world changed, I was instantly in love. I was looking at her when my doctor started stitching me up. Now, I’ve never had stitches before so the sensation was new (and in my effing vagina, no less) so without thinking I just looked at my doctor and asked, ‘are you flossing my vagina?'”

– jacquelines4a31a66f9, BuzzFeed.com

View this image ›

22. “I can’t do this!”

“I think my most glorious moment was when I grabbed my husband during transition and told him 100% seriously, ‘OK, this next contraction YOU have to push because I can’t do this.'”

–Amy Mansell, Facebook

23. “At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.”

“Once I hit a six I wanted my epidural, but the anesthesiologist took two hours to go from downstairs to the second floor. During that time I got ANGRY and yelled at my nurse. Once the epidural finally arrived and I’d calmed down, I told her I was so sorry that I yelled and I didn’t mean it. She said, ‘We are used to it. Don’t sweat it. At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.'”

–Callie Anne Crabtree, Facebook

24. “I suddenly started laughing and couldn’t stop.”

“With my third kiddo, I was well into active labor and overly exhausted (as lots of moms get to be at that point), when I suddenly started laughing…and I couldn’t stop. For 20–30 minutes. No joke. The nurses were both freaked out and laughing, too, as was my hubby. Needless to say, I was well known on that maternity ward for being the first mom to laugh uncontrollably during labor. *Note: If you end up in a similar situation, laughing through powerful, unmedicated contractions hurts like hell, but it makes the experience much more memorable. :)”

–Erin Wolf, Facebook

25. The Ultimate Potter Fan

“I was watching a Harry Potter marathon when the nurse checked to see how far dilated I was. I was 9 ¾. I was so ecstatic!!”

–Sarah Pike, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

26. “I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

“I was three days overdue, felt some consistent contractions, went to the hospital, and was hooked up to the monitors. After being there for three hours (we left at midnight), I wasn’t dilating anymore so they sent me home and told me to rest, that it would be in a day or two. I didn’t get any sleep that night, I tossed and turned and was in constant pain. I felt lots of pressure, went to the bathroom, held a mirror down there and could see my daughter’s head. I told my mother-in-law, she woke up her husband, we were all just in a panic and screaming at each other, the paramedics were called but she was born in front of the bathroom before they got there. I don’t remember a lot but I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

–Shea Posey, Facebook

View this image ›

27. “So I’m just hanging out on my hospital bed, legs wide open…”

“I had been pushing for about 15 minutes and my daughter was crowning, but apparently I was a little too numb because I was having a hard time pushing her past that point, so my doctor told me we were going to take a break and she’d be back in about five or 10 minutes. So I’m just hanging out in my hospital bed, legs wide open with my daughter’s head poking out, when, after 30 MINUTES, my doctor finally came back.”

–Carmen Breckenridge, Facebook

28. “Well, it happened.”

“I had my mom, my boyfriend, and two support people in the room, as well as my nurse, who was telling me to push (really to practice for when she was coming in the next few minutes). I was refusing since I had everyone in the room because I felt I was going to poop. I was screaming, ‘I can’t push, I can feel it. I’m gonna poop. I don’t want anyone to see that,’ and the nurse was assuring me I wasn’t, and everyone was trying to convince me to push because it’s OK. Well, it happened. Nobody said anything. But the nurse came and wiped me and all I said was ‘See, I told you so…'”

–Bethany Danielle Cooke, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

29. “Nope, that was you.”

“I heard someone rip a big one… I looked over at my sister and asked, ‘Was that you?!’ She just laughed and said…’Nope, that was you.’ Everyone was cracking up, especially me since I was so doped up.”

–Mariah Irvin, Facebook

30. “The bed did a sort of ‘Tokyo drift’ into the delivery room…”

“Partway through my labor, I felt a sudden, much worse pain than I had ever felt before. I hit the nurse-call button shrieking for help. A second nurse came in as the first one lifted the sheet to check…and they both exclaimed: ‘STOP PUSHING!!’

They started wheeling me out of the room. They kept shouting: ‘STOP PUSHING!’ and I kept shouting back: ‘I’M NOT PUSHING!’

We slammed through the double doors of the delivery room and the bed sorta did a ‘Tokyo drift’ to a stop in the middle of the room. The momentum caused me to drop from my side onto my back and as soon as my back landed on the bed, the baby popped out (and the pain went away). The nurse standing at the foot of my bed was pulling on gloves, and she snapped the last glove on and exclaimed: ‘Tell the doctor he can take his time now.'”

–Patty Smith, Facebook

31. “He just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was.”

“Giving birth to my second baby, as he was coming out he stuck one arm out and grabbed the head doctor’s scrubs and pulled. The young intern was so excited he just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was. Even my seasoned doctor seemed amazed. All I could think of is the baby must want out as bad as I want him to be.”

–Cherish Fritts Newman, Facebook

32. “GET IT OUT!”

“When the doctor finally arrived in the delivery room mid-pushing, he checks me and tells me to reach between my legs and grab her head. By that point, though, I was so ready for it to be over, I just screamed at him. ‘Get it out!'”

–Cassi Osborn, Facebook

View this image ›

33. “It looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

“I made the mistake of looking at my vagina in a mirror out of curiosity after being stitched up — it looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

–Erin Day, Facebook

34. “Never touch the placenta.”

“After my son was finally out, in my epidural-high state, I asked to touch the placenta…and they let me. Ladies. Never touch the placenta.”

–Kirsten Strider, Facebook

35. “He’s still attached!”

“The nurse was so worried about getting my newborn son cleaned up and checking him that she tried taking him before they cut the cord. It hurt. I yelled, ‘He’s still attached!’ and she set him down real quick. I almost punched that lady.”

–Rashelle Koier, Facebook

36. “I have never seen no shit like that in my life.”

My grandmother was present at the delivery. After the final push as my daughter was born, I looked over to my grandmother to see if she was crying… She wasn’t.

She was standing in the corner, horrified at what she just witnessed. After the chaos died down I asked my her why she was so horrified, having given birth herself. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘I have never seen no shit like that in my life. Don’t call me till after the baby’s born on the next one, OK Mija?’“

–Janay Danica Alexandra Guevara, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

37. “Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

“While sleeping in the hospital, I woke up with a start, screaming at my husband that baby was coming. By the time the nurse finally got in to the room and checked me, my daughter was already crowning. The nurse grabs the nearest on call doctor who barely made into the room, literally at the last second to grab the baby.

Five minutes later my OBGYN walks in, and goes “ok, are we ready to have a baby?” Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

– Vanessa Schira, Facebook

38. “My husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there…”

“Before my son was born, my husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there… Well, after he was out and they were going about the after-business, I came to enough to see him making a weird face. I asked him if he looked, he nodded yes and said he saw the placenta. He then whispered that it looked like a meat toupee.”

–Sandra Walker, Facebook

39. “If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

My husband and I was just waiting for me to go No. 2 so we could be discharged when I had already been in there two days. I wanted to do the suppository because the nurse said it was faster. I felt the poor nurses had seen enough of everything so I offered to do it myself. The nurse left and here I am in the bathroom trying and failing miserably. Instead of calling the nurse back in, I had my husband do it. He was mortified but a champ (while wearing gloves lol). After everything was said and done he looked at me and said, ‘If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.'”

–Kara Kieffer, Facebook

View this image ›

40. My teeth!

“While in labor with my sister, my mom remembers her mom arriving and screaming with excitement. Her teeth flew out under the hospital bed, and she couldn’t get them until after the birth!”

–Angel Morrison, Facebook

41. “Oh my god, I birthed an alien!”

“I felt what I thought was a No. 2 slip out just as I got into the birthing pool. I said to my husband, ‘Oh my god, I pooped in the pool!!’ Just then, a big bubble floated to the surface and I said, ‘Oh my god, I birthed an alien!’ The midwife grabbed the ‘bubble’ and tore it open. My son was born inside of his amniotic sack.”

–Laura Downie, Facebook

42. “Hell no, I want to check my hair.”

“In the delivery room they had a giant mirror on wheels so if you wanted, you could watch the delivery. I asked my nurse to wheel it over to me and she said, ‘Aw, you want to watch the delivery??’

“‘Hell no, I want to check my hair.'”

–Sarah Fouquet, Facebook

43. “He SHOWED my poop to my husband…”

“I pooped and the doctor lifted up a blue tarp with my poo on it and showed it to my husband saying, ‘This is why I put that there.’ Yep. He SHOWED my poop to my husband while I was trying to bring our child into the world.”

–Kristin Tutt, Facebook

44. “It looked like a crime scene in there.”

“While I was in the final stages of labor (i.e., pushing) a nurse stepped on my IV cord and dislodged it. We had no idea, so with every push more and more blood sprayed out of the unattached cord. Nobody noticed blood spraying everywhere. When the doctor came in for the last few pushes she remarked that it looked like a crime scene in there. There was a pool of blood on the floor and the nurse was splattered with it.”

–Tracey Citron, Facebook

45. “He was crowning!”

“Craziest moment from labor? When I was told to stop pushing. My son was crowning and they said to stop because the doctor wasn’t there yet. The nurse didn’t want to deliver him on her own. Stop pushing??? HE WAS CROWNING!”

–Alycia M. Smith, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

46. “He was tasked with scooping my poop nuggets out of the birthing pool with a fishing net.”

“I had a planned home-water birth, and when I was pushing I guess little bits of poop were coming out. What I didn’t learn until later was that every time one would float to the surface my incredibly dedicated husband was tasked with fishing my poop nuggets out of the water with one of those green aquarium nets.”

–Jana Silver, Facebook

47. GOAL!

“When my mom delivered my older sister, she was in Nigeria during the World Cup and the doctor made her wait till the match was over.”

–John Alex Nieboer, Facebook

48. Word to the wise…

“Words of wisdom: DO NOT EAT SPINACH DIP PRIOR TO LABOR.”

–Marla Czechowski, Facebook

49. “He put the placenta under his foot and stretched it up to his head.”

“After the exciting part was said and done, the doctor motioned for my boyfriend to join him and the foot of my bed. He said, ‘Watch this!’ and put the placenta under his foot and stretched it all the way up to his head. Boys….”

–Liz Boeche, Facebook

Want great parenting tips in your inbox twice a week? Sign up for the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter!

View this embed ›

If you want to be featured in similar BuzzFeed posts, follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/birth-is-freaking-hard

[demitgibbs]

Reba McEntire Talks Gays at Christmas, Politicization of Her Faith-Based Music

Reba McEntire has released a beautiful new Christmas album. The melancholy spirit of her friend Dolly Parton’s 1982 holiday staple “Hard Candy Christmas” is preserved on McEntire’s new reading, and her sparse version of “Mary, Did You Know?” featuring Christmas mainstays Vince Gill and Amy Grant engenders a spirited hopefulness even the secular population may find comfort in.

But it is two weeks after the Las Vegas shooting, and nearly a month before the CMAs, which emotionally honored the victims during its “In Memoriam,” when I connect with McEntire to talk about the new album and her holiday plans. Sticking to casual banter seems malapropos given the recent series of tragic and divisive events that eventually led to McEntire pledging to love you the best she can during the all-star musical opening of the CMAs.

How do you not talk about issues affecting all of us, even McEntire?

After all, the Country Music Hall of Famer performs in Vegas regularly during her residency, “Reba, Brooks & Dunn: Together in Vegas,” which recently announced additional 2018 dates. Moreover, the icon has wielded great influence as an entertainer – singer; Broadway, film and TV actress; gay favorite – during her four-decade career, and so when she pledged her support for marriage equality in 2014 to me during our last conversation, it felt especially groundbreaking. At the time, she spoke lovingly about her dear friends, Michael and Steven, who didn’t have the same legal protections as heterosexual couples. “It was not fair,” she told me, pointedly. Just over a year after our talk, Michael and Steven’s relationship was legally recognized by the U.S. Supreme Court.

Now, any artist with clout is being called upon to take on other hot topics, as evidenced by the preemptive decision by CMA producers to enact a no-politics stipulation on journalists during the event (the provision was overturned by the time the show aired). But the pressure to weigh in on political issues can be felt even within the country music community, as Rosanne Cash pled for the genre’s influencers to speak out against the NRA in a Oct. 3 New York Times column called “Country Musicians, Stand Up to the N.R.A.” (Faith Hill and Tim McGraw recently called for sensible gun laws in an interview with Billboard after Cash’s call to action).

In addition to talking about her personal struggles with religion and being true to her musical roots, McEntire, 62, told me she looks to God for guidance on addressing the world’s affairs.

Strikingly, she did clarify that her track “Back to God,” featured as an acoustic version on “My Kind of Christmas,” is purely a faith song despite various sites and social-media memes associating the song with President Donald Trump.

#td_uid_1_5a3bd5bb25040 .td-doubleSlider-2 .td-item1 { background: url(https://hotspotsmagazine.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Reba42017-160x120.jpg) 0 0 no-repeat; }

1 of 1

Reba McEntire: My Kind of Christmas

Do you have gay people in your circle of family and friends who you’ll be seeing for the holidays?

Probably so, yeah. I’ll be in Nashville before we go out of the country after Christmas, so I’ve got a lot of friends in town that we’ll be seeing after we get through with our show in Las Vegas.

What special something do your gay and lesbian loved ones bring to your holiday festivities?

Friendship. And we hang out throughout the year, so it’s not much different around Christmas than it is throughout the year.

Just more eating.

A lot more eating – yeah, true! And lots of just hanging together and the reason for the season, which is the birthday of Jesus and we all celebrate that. It’s more of the same, just being great friends at Christmas like we are throughout the year.

Please tell me all of our favorite country gay icons – yourself, Dolly, Faith, Martina, and so on – have some kind of Secret Santa.

(Laughs) No, we don’t. Wouldn’t that be fun, though?

Do you do White Elephant exchanges?

Oh yeah, we do it with my RBI (Firm) team and we used to do it at Starstruck. Dirty Santa or White Elephants are really a lot of fun.

What’s the craziest gift you ever received during a White Elephant exchange?

Oh my gosh, probably an old dirty sweater!

I just spoke to your daughter-in-law, Kelly Clarkson, who you collaborate with on “Silent Night.” As I’m sure you know, she finally has creative control. Was there a time in your career when, like Kelly, you struggled to make the music you wanted to make because of label heads?

You know, I was very, very lucky to get to work with people who are open-minded. It wasn’t a situation of not getting to sing the music I wanted to and make the music I wanted to; it’s that when I got started I didn’t know, other than I had been raised with what I wanted to sing, and then when it got a little more contemporary with the orchestras, I had to go to the head of the label, Jimmy Bowen, and say, “I really wanna go back to my roots,” and he said, “What’s that?” I said, “Steel guitar and fiddle.” He said, “All right, you can do it.” And I said, “Well, how do I do it?” And he said, “Well, you need to go start finding your own music.” So Jimmy was totally 100 percent for me doing what I wanted to do and I was very grateful for that.

WATCH:

Kelly is bold when it comes to expressing her social and political beliefs, and I understand her stepdaughter and your grandchild, Savannah, is really political. Do you have political debates within the family?

Nope. I don’t talk politics because I think there are a lot more things I can contribute to the world without arguing with somebody about politics.

My family has this rule, especially during holiday gatherings: no political discussions.

I think that’s very healthy.

Do you have a similar rule?

I just don’t do it. When somebody wants to talk politics, I let ’em know that and we change the subject.

There seems to be a lot of pressure on public figures to take stances on some important issues concerning our country. During our last interview, in fact, you pledged your full support for same-sex marriages for the first time. A lot has happened since, including the recent shooting at the Route 91 Harvest country music festival in Las Vegas, and recently, Rosanne Cash penned a column in the New York Times encouraging the country music community to speak out against gun violence. For you, when is a potentially divisive issue important enough to talk about?

I think I’ll know it when it comes to me. I think I’ll know it when that happens. So, I can’t say it’s gonna be tomorrow (laughs), or what the topic is gonna be. I’ll know it – I think it’ll be told to me. I rely on God a lot to let me know what I need to be doing and I ask him for guidance, totally, all the time, every day. So when that’s needed, I’ll be the spokesperson.

Regarding the Rosanne Cash piece calling on the country music, did you feel a need to step forward?

This is the first time I’ve heard of it.

She wrote a column in the New York Times asking country artists to speak out on gun violence and gun control. Basically, “Is the issue deeper than just ‘thoughts and prayers’?” It was a really thought-provoking column.

Well, good for her. Good deal.

How has what is happening in the world become personal for you?

It always has been. When you have children and people you love and care about, it’s not only your children or your grandchildren, it’s your whole family. It’s your friends, it’s your community, it’s your country, it’s your town, it’s your neighbors. You deal with all of it and your concern is for all of them, so yeah, it’s been going on for a long time. It’s been going on since – long before we ever got here. It just seems like because of the media we know about what’s going on a lot more than we did when we were kids. When I was growing up, we only had the 6 o’clock and 10 o’clock news and what you heard on the radio and that was it.

Do you think we would benefit by going back to just the 6 and 10 o’clock news?

I really don’t know which is best. Are we overloaded with press? Do we need more? Do we need to know all of this? I remember that song that Anne Murray had out, “A Little Good News” (laughs). That’s what I like to watch – good news.

What does it mean to be an artist who can, in one night, bring together gay fans, conservative right fans and drag queens?

It means a lot to me because what we’re there for – my job is to entertain and to lighten the load off your back, and I hope when everybody walks through that door to come into a concert they leave their troubles at the door and they come in and join together and listen and enjoy and take away something that will brighten their day. Give them somethin’ to think about and improve their lives, hopefully.

Maybe there’s a message in those songs. I have always said, Chris, that I’m the conduit, I’m the water hose. I’m singing these songs because there’s a message in music, because it’s so healing, and so when I sing it, I sing songs that touch my heart. Hopefully when you’re in the audience and you listen to those songs it touches your heart – and in a way that I have no idea how it’s gonna touch your heart, but I hope that it does.

How did you feel about ABC passing on your TV project created by out Desperate Housewives and Golden Girls writer Marc Cherry?

I couldn’t believe it. I was devastated. I thought it was the greatest show. Everybody who I played it for was like, “Oh my gosh, I can’t wait to see more,” and I said, “Well, unfortunately, you’re not gonna get to because they didn’t take it.” Marc did a wonderful job. He’s a genius. I love him to pieces. He is so clever. And it was just such a good show. But we’re not gonna get to continue on, so my heart just hurt for that. We shot (the pilot) in March of this year, and I was really wanting everybody to see it.

Will we see you on TV aside from “CMA Country Christmas?”

I hope so! We’re looking at scripts now for next year and some TV movies and different things like that. You never know what’s gonna materialize. I talked about the Marc Cherry script for, gosh, four or five months and was so excited. Just knew it was gonna be a slam dunk. But you never know about the future. I just have to say, well, wasn’t in the plans, everything happens for a reason, timing is everything.

Getting back to music, your song “Back to God,” which originally appeared on your “Sing It Now: Songs of Faith & Hope” released in early 2017 and now on “My Kind of Christmas” as an acoustic duet with Lauren Daigle, was being associated with President Donald Trump by his supporters upon its release. I mention that because I grew up trying to reconcile being a gay man with my Catholic upbringing, and that was really a struggle for me because I didn’t know which I should choose or if I had to choose. So now, when I see a song like “Back to God” being politicized, I think of LGBT children who don’t side with the president but seek comfort from a song like “Back to God.” How do you feel about your song being politicized in that way when it can potentially alienate gay fans?

I think that’s ridiculous.

But there really are memes and articles saying “Back to God” is essentially a Trump anthem.

No, no. It wasn’t at all. (The lyric) “give this world back to God” means we’ve got troubles, we’ve got things going on, people are worrying, people are trying to solve problems themselves. If they gave their problems and their worries up to the Lord, he will take care of him and you’ll have a peace that you’ve never experienced in your life. How anybody took that and politicized that is beyond my imagination. It’s totally a faith song. Faith-based, and of hope and of faith and looking for a better way of dealing with the stuff that’s going on. And my way of dealing with it is giving it to the Lord.

As a person of faith, what message would you like to send to LGBT people who may struggle with religion?

You know, sometimes I struggle with religion because there are so many, but if you read all of ‘em, all of the different religions, there is one underlying thing: God wants us to love each other. Treat people like you want to be treated and love each other – that’s not hard, but in a sense, it is. But that’s it. He just wants us to love each other, and I think that’s what we all really need to work on.

When I spoke to Amy Grant in 2013, she told me, “I know that the religious community has not been very welcoming, but I just want to stress that the journey of faith brings us into community, but it’s really about one relationship. The journey of faith is just being willing and open to have a relationship with God. And everybody is welcome. Everybody.”

Yeah, yup! And also, another thing: The secret of peace is forgiveness, and that’s hard. That’s really hard. But when you do, all of that hatred and resentment that’s eating up your heart and your stomach and your gallbladder and it’s just making you sick, if you forgive, all that goes away and it’s replaced with space that is ready to have more love put in and you find better relationships and more friends, so you gotta forgive and you gotta just love people.

Sounds like you found the secret, Reba.

(Laughs) Ya know, funny enough: I kind of think I did! Everybody says, “Oh yeah, I’ve known that for a long time,” and then I say, “Why didn’t I understand that?” It’s hard. It’s real hard to forgive. But it’s the best blessing in the world to give yourself.

from Hotspots! Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.com/2017/12/21/reba-mcentire-talks-gays-at-christmas-politicization-of-her-faith-based-music/ from Hot Spots Magazine https://hotspotsmagazine.tumblr.com/post/168788231600

[kidsviral-blog]

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/49-real-life-labor-and-delivery-stories-if-you-can-handle-them/

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

Childbirth is no walk in the park. Unless you happen to be walking in the park when it happens.

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

The BuzzFeed Community asked readers to share their craziest memories from labor and delivery with us, and holy wow did they come through. If you’ve never given birth, proceed with caution. No, seriously.

1. “He delivered our baby on our bathroom floor.”

“As we were getting ready to leave for the hospital, I thought I was going to poop the turd of the century. I ran to the bathroom. My boyfriend was screaming, ‘What are you doing?! We have to go!’ And I yelled back, ‘I can’t stop it! I think I have to poop but this just doesn’t feel right!’

My eyes widened and I yelled ‘THIS BABY IS COMING NOW.’ My poor boyfriend delivered our baby boy on our bathroom floor at 4:50 a.m. So, to my precious, perfect babe, yes. I thought you were a giant, monstrous shit, not a 7 pound, 14 ounce squishy ball of cute.”

–Chantel Guidera, Facebook

View this image ›

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

2. “Her water broke in the middle of a Burger King…”

“When my mom was pregnant with me her water broke in the middle of a Burger King, so she threw down her cup of soda to hide the evidence.”

–Catie LaGrasta, Facebook

3. “I taught him in med school.”

“I was in mid-labor when a shift change occurred and the OB on call asked if I minded some interns coming through. Not at all, until one of the interns looks up, mid-examination, and asks me whether I taught neuroanatomy at a local medical school. Yeppers. I had taught him in med school. All I could think to ask was whether he had passed my class as I sure as heck wasn’t in much of a position to remember him!”

–Jen Kulak, Facebook

View this image ›

4. “I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

“My husband was front and center of the action, and on my second push my water broke violently in a huge, forceful gush. Being a paramedic, my husband is really, really good at dodging bodily fluids. Immediately after my water broke, I heard him say, ‘What the hell was that?’ from the opposite end of the bed from where he had just been. Not a drop on him; I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

–Brittaney Gilmore, Facebook

5. “Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!”

“My baby had a BM [bowel movement] in utero, so the first thing I heard when the doctor opened me up for the C-section was, ‘Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!'”

–Rosanna Bigford, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

6. “It was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

“When my mom was in labor with my sister, her water broke and all of it splashed onto the wall, almost hitting the doctor.

A couple of years later my mom was in labor with my little brother and her water exploded in the waiting room all over the floor. She was horrified. The nurse tried to comfort her. ‘Don’t worry,’ she told her, ‘there was one woman whose fluids ended up all over the wall.’

‘Yeah,’ my mom said, ‘that was me.’ Apparently she was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

–Rachel Elizabeth Mabey, Facebook

7. “I was peeing all over myself.”

“I had gotten my epidural, and during one of the hourly checks, my nurse was discharging my bladder. I really have no idea how she did it, but it involved some sort of tube into my bladder and into one of those pink tubs. Well, she did the tube thing, was looking at my stats, and I felt something move between my legs. Basically the pee tube had popped out of the tub, and I was just peeing all over myself. Honestly, I wasn’t really that embarrassed. I mean, the woman had already had her hand up my vag how many times at this point?”

–Tiffany Adams, Facebook

8. “I had two choices: Wipe my face, or be a good sister.”

“My sister was in delivery and I was holding one leg as she was pushing. She had an epidural so she couldn’t feel a thing. As my niece’s head popped out, I got splattered in the face with juices. Decision time. Drop her leg and wipe my face or be a good sister and keep holding up that leg as the rest of the baby came out. I was a good sister. Have never washed my face so well in my life!”

–Meghan McGovern, Facebook

View this image ›

9. “You are scaring the moms in the other rooms.”

“I screamed bloody murder during my contractions. The nurse walked in and told me in the nicest voice, ‘You are scaring all the moms in the other rooms who aren’t as far along as you are.’ I didn’t care. I screamed until I got my shot.”

–Lorin Armstrong, Facebook

10. “Fuck! He knows I’ve got kids!”

“I was pretty loopy on gas while they were putting the epidural in for my emergency C-section. All I remember thinking was how gorgeous my anesthetist was, and that ‘fuck, he knows I’ve got kids!'”

–Sarah Kerby, Facebook

11. “Everything tasted blue.”

“I got really drunk on gas and air with my second daughter and said that I could smell melted vanilla ice cream and that everything tasted blue.”

–Maggie Moo Spiller, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

12. “Shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!”

“After about 30 hours in I yelled at my mother to ‘shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!'”

– Whitney Roy, Facebook

13. “My vagina feels drunk.”

“After trying to ‘breathe through the contractions’ for a few hours, I asked for an epidural. They gave it to me and it felt so good once it kicked in, I started to feel loopy because I was pain-free after so much pain. The anesthesiologist came in to check on me and asked me how I was doing. I looked at him and said ‘My vagina feels drunk’… He tried to keep a straight face and act professional but had to turn around because he was laughing so hard.”

–Erin Ann Johnson, Facebook

14. “My wife is high as a kite.”

“I kept asking my husband to call Colton so I could tell her I loved her and missed her. The nurse was so sweet — she asked me if I knew Colton’s phone number and I started to cry. She said she would lend me her phone so I could call her. As she pulls out her phone my husband comes in and asked what we were doing. She tells him we’re gonna call Colton ‘cause I obviously need her. He goes, ‘Colton is our dog. My wife is high as a kite.’ To which I started to cry again and asked him to bring her.”

–Nancy Jaimes-Soto, Facebook

15. “I sold a garage door during my C-section.”

“I was so doped up during my C-section that I spent the whole time slurring a sales speech to the anesthesiologist for a garage door and opener. LOL… He bought one a few weeks later though!”

–Angelica Halls, Facebook

View this image ›

16. “It’s a disaster down there.”

“Right after my daughter was born and they were sewing up my degree tear, my husband says: ‘Whatever you do, don’t look in the mirror. It’s a disaster down there.'”

–Karen Halker Miller, Facebook

17. “You can kiss her first if it makes you more comfortable.”

“We had a very sweet female nurse in training come in with another nurse. The experienced nurse checked for dilation and took note on it and told the student to take a try. It was very apparent she had never had her fingers in another female before and she looked terrified. My husband, who is NEVER serious and always tries to make others uncomfortable, says ‘You can kiss her first if it make you more comfortable’… *mortified*. She did NOT think it was funny…”

–Lauren Ashley Walton-McGee, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

18. “We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact.”

“There I am, post-epidural, and the nurse comes to see if my water has broken. ‘I think so’ I say, not really knowing what I was supposed to be looking for. So she slides her gloved hand up in my business, and with the slightest of pokes proceeds to break my water. Unfortunately, the shock was such that I immediately contracted and trapped her hand in my vag. We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact as her glove filled with fluid.”

–Madeleine Kaizer, Facebook

19. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.”

“So my doctor is an older guy and when he came in to break my water he says very professionally, ‘This won’t hurt at all, but you will feel a lot of pressure.’ So I sit back and prop up. He pulls out a massive torture device that looks like something from American Horror Story. He places it in me and I immediately arch my back and try to kick him away while screaming, ‘GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.’ He looked down ashamed and quietly laughed, ‘That’s the first time a woman has told me that.’ My husband beamed at my doctor with the potential friendship he saw blossoming.”

–Celeste Pitre, Facebook

20. “Wow, you need to wax.”

“When they put my legs up to start pushing my husband looked at my vag and said, ‘Wow. You need to wax.’ I’m not sure I have forgiven him yet.”

–Heather Drew, Facebook

21. “Are you flossing my vagina?”

“When my beautiful 10 pound 3 ounce baby girl was born my world changed, I was instantly in love. I was looking at her when my doctor started stitching me up. Now, I’ve never had stitches before so the sensation was new (and in my effing vagina, no less) so without thinking I just looked at my doctor and asked, ‘are you flossing my vagina?'”

– jacquelines4a31a66f9, BuzzFeed.com

View this image ›

22. “I can’t do this!”

“I think my most glorious moment was when I grabbed my husband during transition and told him 100% seriously, ‘OK, this next contraction YOU have to push because I can’t do this.'”

–Amy Mansell, Facebook

23. “At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.”

“Once I hit a six I wanted my epidural, but the anesthesiologist took two hours to go from downstairs to the second floor. During that time I got ANGRY and yelled at my nurse. Once the epidural finally arrived and I’d calmed down, I told her I was so sorry that I yelled and I didn’t mean it. She said, ‘We are used to it. Don’t sweat it. At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.'”

–Callie Anne Crabtree, Facebook

24. “I suddenly started laughing and couldn’t stop.”

“With my third kiddo, I was well into active labor and overly exhausted (as lots of moms get to be at that point), when I suddenly started laughing…and I couldn’t stop. For 20–30 minutes. No joke. The nurses were both freaked out and laughing, too, as was my hubby. Needless to say, I was well known on that maternity ward for being the first mom to laugh uncontrollably during labor. *Note: If you end up in a similar situation, laughing through powerful, unmedicated contractions hurts like hell, but it makes the experience much more memorable. :)”

–Erin Wolf, Facebook

25. The Ultimate Potter Fan

“I was watching a Harry Potter marathon when the nurse checked to see how far dilated I was. I was 9 ¾. I was so ecstatic!!”

–Sarah Pike, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

26. “I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

“I was three days overdue, felt some consistent contractions, went to the hospital, and was hooked up to the monitors. After being there for three hours (we left at midnight), I wasn’t dilating anymore so they sent me home and told me to rest, that it would be in a day or two. I didn’t get any sleep that night, I tossed and turned and was in constant pain. I felt lots of pressure, went to the bathroom, held a mirror down there and could see my daughter’s head. I told my mother-in-law, she woke up her husband, we were all just in a panic and screaming at each other, the paramedics were called but she was born in front of the bathroom before they got there. I don’t remember a lot but I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

–Shea Posey, Facebook

View this image ›

27. “So I’m just hanging out on my hospital bed, legs wide open…”

“I had been pushing for about 15 minutes and my daughter was crowning, but apparently I was a little too numb because I was having a hard time pushing her past that point, so my doctor told me we were going to take a break and she’d be back in about five or 10 minutes. So I’m just hanging out in my hospital bed, legs wide open with my daughter’s head poking out, when, after 30 MINUTES, my doctor finally came back.”

–Carmen Breckenridge, Facebook

28. “Well, it happened.”

“I had my mom, my boyfriend, and two support people in the room, as well as my nurse, who was telling me to push (really to practice for when she was coming in the next few minutes). I was refusing since I had everyone in the room because I felt I was going to poop. I was screaming, ‘I can’t push, I can feel it. I’m gonna poop. I don’t want anyone to see that,’ and the nurse was assuring me I wasn’t, and everyone was trying to convince me to push because it’s OK. Well, it happened. Nobody said anything. But the nurse came and wiped me and all I said was ‘See, I told you so…'”

–Bethany Danielle Cooke, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

29. “Nope, that was you.”

“I heard someone rip a big one… I looked over at my sister and asked, ‘Was that you?!’ She just laughed and said…’Nope, that was you.’ Everyone was cracking up, especially me since I was so doped up.”

–Mariah Irvin, Facebook

30. “The bed did a sort of ‘Tokyo drift’ into the delivery room…”

“Partway through my labor, I felt a sudden, much worse pain than I had ever felt before. I hit the nurse-call button shrieking for help. A second nurse came in as the first one lifted the sheet to check…and they both exclaimed: ‘STOP PUSHING!!’

They started wheeling me out of the room. They kept shouting: ‘STOP PUSHING!’ and I kept shouting back: ‘I’M NOT PUSHING!’

We slammed through the double doors of the delivery room and the bed sorta did a ‘Tokyo drift’ to a stop in the middle of the room. The momentum caused me to drop from my side onto my back and as soon as my back landed on the bed, the baby popped out (and the pain went away). The nurse standing at the foot of my bed was pulling on gloves, and she snapped the last glove on and exclaimed: ‘Tell the doctor he can take his time now.'”

–Patty Smith, Facebook

31. “He just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was.”

“Giving birth to my second baby, as he was coming out he stuck one arm out and grabbed the head doctor’s scrubs and pulled. The young intern was so excited he just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was. Even my seasoned doctor seemed amazed. All I could think of is the baby must want out as bad as I want him to be.”

–Cherish Fritts Newman, Facebook

32. “GET IT OUT!”

“When the doctor finally arrived in the delivery room mid-pushing, he checks me and tells me to reach between my legs and grab her head. By that point, though, I was so ready for it to be over, I just screamed at him. ‘Get it out!'”

–Cassi Osborn, Facebook

View this image ›

33. “It looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

“I made the mistake of looking at my vagina in a mirror out of curiosity after being stitched up — it looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

–Erin Day, Facebook

34. “Never touch the placenta.”

“After my son was finally out, in my epidural-high state, I asked to touch the placenta…and they let me. Ladies. Never touch the placenta.”

–Kirsten Strider, Facebook

35. “He’s still attached!”

“The nurse was so worried about getting my newborn son cleaned up and checking him that she tried taking him before they cut the cord. It hurt. I yelled, ‘He’s still attached!’ and she set him down real quick. I almost punched that lady.”

–Rashelle Koier, Facebook

36. “I have never seen no shit like that in my life.”

My grandmother was present at the delivery. After the final push as my daughter was born, I looked over to my grandmother to see if she was crying… She wasn’t.

She was standing in the corner, horrified at what she just witnessed. After the chaos died down I asked my her why she was so horrified, having given birth herself. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘I have never seen no shit like that in my life. Don’t call me till after the baby’s born on the next one, OK Mija?’“

–Janay Danica Alexandra Guevara, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

37. “Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

“While sleeping in the hospital, I woke up with a start, screaming at my husband that baby was coming. By the time the nurse finally got in to the room and checked me, my daughter was already crowning. The nurse grabs the nearest on call doctor who barely made into the room, literally at the last second to grab the baby.

Five minutes later my OBGYN walks in, and goes “ok, are we ready to have a baby?” Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

– Vanessa Schira, Facebook

38. “My husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there…”

“Before my son was born, my husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there… Well, after he was out and they were going about the after-business, I came to enough to see him making a weird face. I asked him if he looked, he nodded yes and said he saw the placenta. He then whispered that it looked like a meat toupee.”

–Sandra Walker, Facebook

39. “If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

My husband and I was just waiting for me to go No. 2 so we could be discharged when I had already been in there two days. I wanted to do the suppository because the nurse said it was faster. I felt the poor nurses had seen enough of everything so I offered to do it myself. The nurse left and here I am in the bathroom trying and failing miserably. Instead of calling the nurse back in, I had my husband do it. He was mortified but a champ (while wearing gloves lol). After everything was said and done he looked at me and said, ‘If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.'”

–Kara Kieffer, Facebook

View this image ›

40. My teeth!

“While in labor with my sister, my mom remembers her mom arriving and screaming with excitement. Her teeth flew out under the hospital bed, and she couldn’t get them until after the birth!”

–Angel Morrison, Facebook

41. “Oh my god, I birthed an alien!”

“I felt what I thought was a No. 2 slip out just as I got into the birthing pool. I said to my husband, ‘Oh my god, I pooped in the pool!!’ Just then, a big bubble floated to the surface and I said, ‘Oh my god, I birthed an alien!’ The midwife grabbed the ‘bubble’ and tore it open. My son was born inside of his amniotic sack.”

–Laura Downie, Facebook

42. “Hell no, I want to check my hair.”

“In the delivery room they had a giant mirror on wheels so if you wanted, you could watch the delivery. I asked my nurse to wheel it over to me and she said, ‘Aw, you want to watch the delivery??’

“‘Hell no, I want to check my hair.'”

–Sarah Fouquet, Facebook

43. “He SHOWED my poop to my husband…”

“I pooped and the doctor lifted up a blue tarp with my poo on it and showed it to my husband saying, ‘This is why I put that there.’ Yep. He SHOWED my poop to my husband while I was trying to bring our child into the world.”

–Kristin Tutt, Facebook

44. “It looked like a crime scene in there.”

“While I was in the final stages of labor (i.e., pushing) a nurse stepped on my IV cord and dislodged it. We had no idea, so with every push more and more blood sprayed out of the unattached cord. Nobody noticed blood spraying everywhere. When the doctor came in for the last few pushes she remarked that it looked like a crime scene in there. There was a pool of blood on the floor and the nurse was splattered with it.”

–Tracey Citron, Facebook

45. “He was crowning!”

“Craziest moment from labor? When I was told to stop pushing. My son was crowning and they said to stop because the doctor wasn’t there yet. The nurse didn’t want to deliver him on her own. Stop pushing??? HE WAS CROWNING!”

–Alycia M. Smith, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

46. “He was tasked with scooping my poop nuggets out of the birthing pool with a fishing net.”

“I had a planned home-water birth, and when I was pushing I guess little bits of poop were coming out. What I didn’t learn until later was that every time one would float to the surface my incredibly dedicated husband was tasked with fishing my poop nuggets out of the water with one of those green aquarium nets.”

–Jana Silver, Facebook

47. GOAL!

“When my mom delivered my older sister, she was in Nigeria during the World Cup and the doctor made her wait till the match was over.”

–John Alex Nieboer, Facebook

48. Word to the wise…

“Words of wisdom: DO NOT EAT SPINACH DIP PRIOR TO LABOR.”

–Marla Czechowski, Facebook

49. “He put the placenta under his foot and stretched it up to his head.”

“After the exciting part was said and done, the doctor motioned for my boyfriend to join him and the foot of my bed. He said, ‘Watch this!’ and put the placenta under his foot and stretched it all the way up to his head. Boys….”

–Liz Boeche, Facebook

Want great parenting tips in your inbox twice a week? Sign up for the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter!

View this embed ›

If you want to be featured in similar BuzzFeed posts, follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/birth-is-freaking-hard

[kidsviral-blog]

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/49-real-life-labor-and-delivery-stories-if-you-can-handle-them/

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

Childbirth is no walk in the park. Unless you happen to be walking in the park when it happens.

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

The BuzzFeed Community asked readers to share their craziest memories from labor and delivery with us, and holy wow did they come through. If you’ve never given birth, proceed with caution. No, seriously.

1. “He delivered our baby on our bathroom floor.”

“As we were getting ready to leave for the hospital, I thought I was going to poop the turd of the century. I ran to the bathroom. My boyfriend was screaming, ‘What are you doing?! We have to go!’ And I yelled back, ‘I can’t stop it! I think I have to poop but this just doesn’t feel right!’

My eyes widened and I yelled ‘THIS BABY IS COMING NOW.’ My poor boyfriend delivered our baby boy on our bathroom floor at 4:50 a.m. So, to my precious, perfect babe, yes. I thought you were a giant, monstrous shit, not a 7 pound, 14 ounce squishy ball of cute.”

–Chantel Guidera, Facebook

View this image ›

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

2. “Her water broke in the middle of a Burger King…”

“When my mom was pregnant with me her water broke in the middle of a Burger King, so she threw down her cup of soda to hide the evidence.”

–Catie LaGrasta, Facebook

3. “I taught him in med school.”

“I was in mid-labor when a shift change occurred and the OB on call asked if I minded some interns coming through. Not at all, until one of the interns looks up, mid-examination, and asks me whether I taught neuroanatomy at a local medical school. Yeppers. I had taught him in med school. All I could think to ask was whether he had passed my class as I sure as heck wasn’t in much of a position to remember him!”

–Jen Kulak, Facebook

View this image ›

4. “I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

“My husband was front and center of the action, and on my second push my water broke violently in a huge, forceful gush. Being a paramedic, my husband is really, really good at dodging bodily fluids. Immediately after my water broke, I heard him say, ‘What the hell was that?’ from the opposite end of the bed from where he had just been. Not a drop on him; I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

–Brittaney Gilmore, Facebook

5. “Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!”

“My baby had a BM [bowel movement] in utero, so the first thing I heard when the doctor opened me up for the C-section was, ‘Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!'”

–Rosanna Bigford, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

6. “It was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

“When my mom was in labor with my sister, her water broke and all of it splashed onto the wall, almost hitting the doctor.

A couple of years later my mom was in labor with my little brother and her water exploded in the waiting room all over the floor. She was horrified. The nurse tried to comfort her. ‘Don’t worry,’ she told her, ‘there was one woman whose fluids ended up all over the wall.’

‘Yeah,’ my mom said, ‘that was me.’ Apparently she was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

–Rachel Elizabeth Mabey, Facebook

7. “I was peeing all over myself.”

“I had gotten my epidural, and during one of the hourly checks, my nurse was discharging my bladder. I really have no idea how she did it, but it involved some sort of tube into my bladder and into one of those pink tubs. Well, she did the tube thing, was looking at my stats, and I felt something move between my legs. Basically the pee tube had popped out of the tub, and I was just peeing all over myself. Honestly, I wasn’t really that embarrassed. I mean, the woman had already had her hand up my vag how many times at this point?”

–Tiffany Adams, Facebook

8. “I had two choices: Wipe my face, or be a good sister.”

“My sister was in delivery and I was holding one leg as she was pushing. She had an epidural so she couldn’t feel a thing. As my niece’s head popped out, I got splattered in the face with juices. Decision time. Drop her leg and wipe my face or be a good sister and keep holding up that leg as the rest of the baby came out. I was a good sister. Have never washed my face so well in my life!”

–Meghan McGovern, Facebook

View this image ›

9. “You are scaring the moms in the other rooms.”

“I screamed bloody murder during my contractions. The nurse walked in and told me in the nicest voice, ‘You are scaring all the moms in the other rooms who aren’t as far along as you are.’ I didn’t care. I screamed until I got my shot.”

–Lorin Armstrong, Facebook

10. “Fuck! He knows I’ve got kids!”

“I was pretty loopy on gas while they were putting the epidural in for my emergency C-section. All I remember thinking was how gorgeous my anesthetist was, and that ‘fuck, he knows I’ve got kids!'”

–Sarah Kerby, Facebook

11. “Everything tasted blue.”

“I got really drunk on gas and air with my second daughter and said that I could smell melted vanilla ice cream and that everything tasted blue.”

–Maggie Moo Spiller, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

12. “Shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!”

“After about 30 hours in I yelled at my mother to ‘shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!'”

– Whitney Roy, Facebook

13. “My vagina feels drunk.”

“After trying to ‘breathe through the contractions’ for a few hours, I asked for an epidural. They gave it to me and it felt so good once it kicked in, I started to feel loopy because I was pain-free after so much pain. The anesthesiologist came in to check on me and asked me how I was doing. I looked at him and said ‘My vagina feels drunk’… He tried to keep a straight face and act professional but had to turn around because he was laughing so hard.”

–Erin Ann Johnson, Facebook

14. “My wife is high as a kite.”

“I kept asking my husband to call Colton so I could tell her I loved her and missed her. The nurse was so sweet — she asked me if I knew Colton’s phone number and I started to cry. She said she would lend me her phone so I could call her. As she pulls out her phone my husband comes in and asked what we were doing. She tells him we’re gonna call Colton ‘cause I obviously need her. He goes, ‘Colton is our dog. My wife is high as a kite.’ To which I started to cry again and asked him to bring her.”

–Nancy Jaimes-Soto, Facebook

15. “I sold a garage door during my C-section.”

“I was so doped up during my C-section that I spent the whole time slurring a sales speech to the anesthesiologist for a garage door and opener. LOL… He bought one a few weeks later though!”

–Angelica Halls, Facebook

View this image ›

16. “It’s a disaster down there.”

“Right after my daughter was born and they were sewing up my degree tear, my husband says: ‘Whatever you do, don’t look in the mirror. It’s a disaster down there.'”

–Karen Halker Miller, Facebook

17. “You can kiss her first if it makes you more comfortable.”

“We had a very sweet female nurse in training come in with another nurse. The experienced nurse checked for dilation and took note on it and told the student to take a try. It was very apparent she had never had her fingers in another female before and she looked terrified. My husband, who is NEVER serious and always tries to make others uncomfortable, says ‘You can kiss her first if it make you more comfortable’… *mortified*. She did NOT think it was funny…”

–Lauren Ashley Walton-McGee, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

18. “We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact.”

“There I am, post-epidural, and the nurse comes to see if my water has broken. ‘I think so’ I say, not really knowing what I was supposed to be looking for. So she slides her gloved hand up in my business, and with the slightest of pokes proceeds to break my water. Unfortunately, the shock was such that I immediately contracted and trapped her hand in my vag. We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact as her glove filled with fluid.”

–Madeleine Kaizer, Facebook

19. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.”

“So my doctor is an older guy and when he came in to break my water he says very professionally, ‘This won’t hurt at all, but you will feel a lot of pressure.’ So I sit back and prop up. He pulls out a massive torture device that looks like something from American Horror Story. He places it in me and I immediately arch my back and try to kick him away while screaming, ‘GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.’ He looked down ashamed and quietly laughed, ‘That’s the first time a woman has told me that.’ My husband beamed at my doctor with the potential friendship he saw blossoming.”

–Celeste Pitre, Facebook

20. “Wow, you need to wax.”

“When they put my legs up to start pushing my husband looked at my vag and said, ‘Wow. You need to wax.’ I’m not sure I have forgiven him yet.”

–Heather Drew, Facebook

21. “Are you flossing my vagina?”

“When my beautiful 10 pound 3 ounce baby girl was born my world changed, I was instantly in love. I was looking at her when my doctor started stitching me up. Now, I’ve never had stitches before so the sensation was new (and in my effing vagina, no less) so without thinking I just looked at my doctor and asked, ‘are you flossing my vagina?'”

– jacquelines4a31a66f9, BuzzFeed.com

View this image ›

22. “I can’t do this!”

“I think my most glorious moment was when I grabbed my husband during transition and told him 100% seriously, ‘OK, this next contraction YOU have to push because I can’t do this.'”

–Amy Mansell, Facebook

23. “At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.”

“Once I hit a six I wanted my epidural, but the anesthesiologist took two hours to go from downstairs to the second floor. During that time I got ANGRY and yelled at my nurse. Once the epidural finally arrived and I’d calmed down, I told her I was so sorry that I yelled and I didn’t mean it. She said, ‘We are used to it. Don’t sweat it. At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.'”

–Callie Anne Crabtree, Facebook

24. “I suddenly started laughing and couldn’t stop.”

“With my third kiddo, I was well into active labor and overly exhausted (as lots of moms get to be at that point), when I suddenly started laughing…and I couldn’t stop. For 20–30 minutes. No joke. The nurses were both freaked out and laughing, too, as was my hubby. Needless to say, I was well known on that maternity ward for being the first mom to laugh uncontrollably during labor. *Note: If you end up in a similar situation, laughing through powerful, unmedicated contractions hurts like hell, but it makes the experience much more memorable. :)”

–Erin Wolf, Facebook

25. The Ultimate Potter Fan

“I was watching a Harry Potter marathon when the nurse checked to see how far dilated I was. I was 9 ¾. I was so ecstatic!!”

–Sarah Pike, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

26. “I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

“I was three days overdue, felt some consistent contractions, went to the hospital, and was hooked up to the monitors. After being there for three hours (we left at midnight), I wasn’t dilating anymore so they sent me home and told me to rest, that it would be in a day or two. I didn’t get any sleep that night, I tossed and turned and was in constant pain. I felt lots of pressure, went to the bathroom, held a mirror down there and could see my daughter’s head. I told my mother-in-law, she woke up her husband, we were all just in a panic and screaming at each other, the paramedics were called but she was born in front of the bathroom before they got there. I don’t remember a lot but I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

–Shea Posey, Facebook

View this image ›

27. “So I’m just hanging out on my hospital bed, legs wide open…”

“I had been pushing for about 15 minutes and my daughter was crowning, but apparently I was a little too numb because I was having a hard time pushing her past that point, so my doctor told me we were going to take a break and she’d be back in about five or 10 minutes. So I’m just hanging out in my hospital bed, legs wide open with my daughter’s head poking out, when, after 30 MINUTES, my doctor finally came back.”

–Carmen Breckenridge, Facebook

28. “Well, it happened.”

“I had my mom, my boyfriend, and two support people in the room, as well as my nurse, who was telling me to push (really to practice for when she was coming in the next few minutes). I was refusing since I had everyone in the room because I felt I was going to poop. I was screaming, ‘I can’t push, I can feel it. I’m gonna poop. I don’t want anyone to see that,’ and the nurse was assuring me I wasn’t, and everyone was trying to convince me to push because it’s OK. Well, it happened. Nobody said anything. But the nurse came and wiped me and all I said was ‘See, I told you so…'”

–Bethany Danielle Cooke, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

29. “Nope, that was you.”

“I heard someone rip a big one… I looked over at my sister and asked, ‘Was that you?!’ She just laughed and said…’Nope, that was you.’ Everyone was cracking up, especially me since I was so doped up.”

–Mariah Irvin, Facebook

30. “The bed did a sort of ‘Tokyo drift’ into the delivery room…”

“Partway through my labor, I felt a sudden, much worse pain than I had ever felt before. I hit the nurse-call button shrieking for help. A second nurse came in as the first one lifted the sheet to check…and they both exclaimed: ‘STOP PUSHING!!’

They started wheeling me out of the room. They kept shouting: ‘STOP PUSHING!’ and I kept shouting back: ‘I’M NOT PUSHING!’

We slammed through the double doors of the delivery room and the bed sorta did a ‘Tokyo drift’ to a stop in the middle of the room. The momentum caused me to drop from my side onto my back and as soon as my back landed on the bed, the baby popped out (and the pain went away). The nurse standing at the foot of my bed was pulling on gloves, and she snapped the last glove on and exclaimed: ‘Tell the doctor he can take his time now.'”

–Patty Smith, Facebook

31. “He just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was.”

“Giving birth to my second baby, as he was coming out he stuck one arm out and grabbed the head doctor’s scrubs and pulled. The young intern was so excited he just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was. Even my seasoned doctor seemed amazed. All I could think of is the baby must want out as bad as I want him to be.”

–Cherish Fritts Newman, Facebook

32. “GET IT OUT!”

“When the doctor finally arrived in the delivery room mid-pushing, he checks me and tells me to reach between my legs and grab her head. By that point, though, I was so ready for it to be over, I just screamed at him. ‘Get it out!'”

–Cassi Osborn, Facebook

View this image ›

33. “It looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

“I made the mistake of looking at my vagina in a mirror out of curiosity after being stitched up — it looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

–Erin Day, Facebook

34. “Never touch the placenta.”

“After my son was finally out, in my epidural-high state, I asked to touch the placenta…and they let me. Ladies. Never touch the placenta.”

–Kirsten Strider, Facebook

35. “He’s still attached!”

“The nurse was so worried about getting my newborn son cleaned up and checking him that she tried taking him before they cut the cord. It hurt. I yelled, ‘He’s still attached!’ and she set him down real quick. I almost punched that lady.”

–Rashelle Koier, Facebook

36. “I have never seen no shit like that in my life.”

My grandmother was present at the delivery. After the final push as my daughter was born, I looked over to my grandmother to see if she was crying… She wasn’t.

She was standing in the corner, horrified at what she just witnessed. After the chaos died down I asked my her why she was so horrified, having given birth herself. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘I have never seen no shit like that in my life. Don’t call me till after the baby’s born on the next one, OK Mija?’“

–Janay Danica Alexandra Guevara, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

37. “Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

“While sleeping in the hospital, I woke up with a start, screaming at my husband that baby was coming. By the time the nurse finally got in to the room and checked me, my daughter was already crowning. The nurse grabs the nearest on call doctor who barely made into the room, literally at the last second to grab the baby.

Five minutes later my OBGYN walks in, and goes “ok, are we ready to have a baby?” Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

– Vanessa Schira, Facebook

38. “My husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there…”

“Before my son was born, my husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there… Well, after he was out and they were going about the after-business, I came to enough to see him making a weird face. I asked him if he looked, he nodded yes and said he saw the placenta. He then whispered that it looked like a meat toupee.”

–Sandra Walker, Facebook

39. “If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

My husband and I was just waiting for me to go No. 2 so we could be discharged when I had already been in there two days. I wanted to do the suppository because the nurse said it was faster. I felt the poor nurses had seen enough of everything so I offered to do it myself. The nurse left and here I am in the bathroom trying and failing miserably. Instead of calling the nurse back in, I had my husband do it. He was mortified but a champ (while wearing gloves lol). After everything was said and done he looked at me and said, ‘If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.'”

–Kara Kieffer, Facebook

View this image ›

40. My teeth!

“While in labor with my sister, my mom remembers her mom arriving and screaming with excitement. Her teeth flew out under the hospital bed, and she couldn’t get them until after the birth!”

–Angel Morrison, Facebook

41. “Oh my god, I birthed an alien!”

“I felt what I thought was a No. 2 slip out just as I got into the birthing pool. I said to my husband, ‘Oh my god, I pooped in the pool!!’ Just then, a big bubble floated to the surface and I said, ‘Oh my god, I birthed an alien!’ The midwife grabbed the ‘bubble’ and tore it open. My son was born inside of his amniotic sack.”

–Laura Downie, Facebook

42. “Hell no, I want to check my hair.”

“In the delivery room they had a giant mirror on wheels so if you wanted, you could watch the delivery. I asked my nurse to wheel it over to me and she said, ‘Aw, you want to watch the delivery??’

“‘Hell no, I want to check my hair.'”

–Sarah Fouquet, Facebook

43. “He SHOWED my poop to my husband…”

“I pooped and the doctor lifted up a blue tarp with my poo on it and showed it to my husband saying, ‘This is why I put that there.’ Yep. He SHOWED my poop to my husband while I was trying to bring our child into the world.”

–Kristin Tutt, Facebook

44. “It looked like a crime scene in there.”

“While I was in the final stages of labor (i.e., pushing) a nurse stepped on my IV cord and dislodged it. We had no idea, so with every push more and more blood sprayed out of the unattached cord. Nobody noticed blood spraying everywhere. When the doctor came in for the last few pushes she remarked that it looked like a crime scene in there. There was a pool of blood on the floor and the nurse was splattered with it.”

–Tracey Citron, Facebook

45. “He was crowning!”

“Craziest moment from labor? When I was told to stop pushing. My son was crowning and they said to stop because the doctor wasn’t there yet. The nurse didn’t want to deliver him on her own. Stop pushing??? HE WAS CROWNING!”

–Alycia M. Smith, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

46. “He was tasked with scooping my poop nuggets out of the birthing pool with a fishing net.”

“I had a planned home-water birth, and when I was pushing I guess little bits of poop were coming out. What I didn’t learn until later was that every time one would float to the surface my incredibly dedicated husband was tasked with fishing my poop nuggets out of the water with one of those green aquarium nets.”

–Jana Silver, Facebook

47. GOAL!

“When my mom delivered my older sister, she was in Nigeria during the World Cup and the doctor made her wait till the match was over.”

–John Alex Nieboer, Facebook

48. Word to the wise…

“Words of wisdom: DO NOT EAT SPINACH DIP PRIOR TO LABOR.”

–Marla Czechowski, Facebook

49. “He put the placenta under his foot and stretched it up to his head.”

“After the exciting part was said and done, the doctor motioned for my boyfriend to join him and the foot of my bed. He said, ‘Watch this!’ and put the placenta under his foot and stretched it all the way up to his head. Boys….”

–Liz Boeche, Facebook

Want great parenting tips in your inbox twice a week? Sign up for the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter!

View this embed ›

If you want to be featured in similar BuzzFeed posts, follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/birth-is-freaking-hard

[kidsviral-blog]

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/49-real-life-labor-and-delivery-stories-if-you-can-handle-them/

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

Childbirth is no walk in the park. Unless you happen to be walking in the park when it happens.

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

The BuzzFeed Community asked readers to share their craziest memories from labor and delivery with us, and holy wow did they come through. If you’ve never given birth, proceed with caution. No, seriously.

1. “He delivered our baby on our bathroom floor.”

“As we were getting ready to leave for the hospital, I thought I was going to poop the turd of the century. I ran to the bathroom. My boyfriend was screaming, ‘What are you doing?! We have to go!’ And I yelled back, ‘I can’t stop it! I think I have to poop but this just doesn’t feel right!’

My eyes widened and I yelled ‘THIS BABY IS COMING NOW.’ My poor boyfriend delivered our baby boy on our bathroom floor at 4:50 a.m. So, to my precious, perfect babe, yes. I thought you were a giant, monstrous shit, not a 7 pound, 14 ounce squishy ball of cute.”

–Chantel Guidera, Facebook

View this image ›

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

2. “Her water broke in the middle of a Burger King…”

“When my mom was pregnant with me her water broke in the middle of a Burger King, so she threw down her cup of soda to hide the evidence.”

–Catie LaGrasta, Facebook

3. “I taught him in med school.”

“I was in mid-labor when a shift change occurred and the OB on call asked if I minded some interns coming through. Not at all, until one of the interns looks up, mid-examination, and asks me whether I taught neuroanatomy at a local medical school. Yeppers. I had taught him in med school. All I could think to ask was whether he had passed my class as I sure as heck wasn’t in much of a position to remember him!”

–Jen Kulak, Facebook

View this image ›

4. “I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

“My husband was front and center of the action, and on my second push my water broke violently in a huge, forceful gush. Being a paramedic, my husband is really, really good at dodging bodily fluids. Immediately after my water broke, I heard him say, ‘What the hell was that?’ from the opposite end of the bed from where he had just been. Not a drop on him; I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

–Brittaney Gilmore, Facebook

5. “Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!”

“My baby had a BM [bowel movement] in utero, so the first thing I heard when the doctor opened me up for the C-section was, ‘Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!'”

–Rosanna Bigford, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

6. “It was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

“When my mom was in labor with my sister, her water broke and all of it splashed onto the wall, almost hitting the doctor.

A couple of years later my mom was in labor with my little brother and her water exploded in the waiting room all over the floor. She was horrified. The nurse tried to comfort her. ‘Don’t worry,’ she told her, ‘there was one woman whose fluids ended up all over the wall.’

‘Yeah,’ my mom said, ‘that was me.’ Apparently she was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

–Rachel Elizabeth Mabey, Facebook

7. “I was peeing all over myself.”

“I had gotten my epidural, and during one of the hourly checks, my nurse was discharging my bladder. I really have no idea how she did it, but it involved some sort of tube into my bladder and into one of those pink tubs. Well, she did the tube thing, was looking at my stats, and I felt something move between my legs. Basically the pee tube had popped out of the tub, and I was just peeing all over myself. Honestly, I wasn’t really that embarrassed. I mean, the woman had already had her hand up my vag how many times at this point?”

–Tiffany Adams, Facebook

8. “I had two choices: Wipe my face, or be a good sister.”

“My sister was in delivery and I was holding one leg as she was pushing. She had an epidural so she couldn’t feel a thing. As my niece’s head popped out, I got splattered in the face with juices. Decision time. Drop her leg and wipe my face or be a good sister and keep holding up that leg as the rest of the baby came out. I was a good sister. Have never washed my face so well in my life!”

–Meghan McGovern, Facebook

View this image ›

9. “You are scaring the moms in the other rooms.”

“I screamed bloody murder during my contractions. The nurse walked in and told me in the nicest voice, ‘You are scaring all the moms in the other rooms who aren’t as far along as you are.’ I didn’t care. I screamed until I got my shot.”

–Lorin Armstrong, Facebook

10. “Fuck! He knows I’ve got kids!”

“I was pretty loopy on gas while they were putting the epidural in for my emergency C-section. All I remember thinking was how gorgeous my anesthetist was, and that ‘fuck, he knows I’ve got kids!'”

–Sarah Kerby, Facebook

11. “Everything tasted blue.”

“I got really drunk on gas and air with my second daughter and said that I could smell melted vanilla ice cream and that everything tasted blue.”

–Maggie Moo Spiller, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

12. “Shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!”

“After about 30 hours in I yelled at my mother to ‘shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!'”

– Whitney Roy, Facebook

13. “My vagina feels drunk.”

“After trying to ‘breathe through the contractions’ for a few hours, I asked for an epidural. They gave it to me and it felt so good once it kicked in, I started to feel loopy because I was pain-free after so much pain. The anesthesiologist came in to check on me and asked me how I was doing. I looked at him and said ‘My vagina feels drunk’… He tried to keep a straight face and act professional but had to turn around because he was laughing so hard.”

–Erin Ann Johnson, Facebook

14. “My wife is high as a kite.”

“I kept asking my husband to call Colton so I could tell her I loved her and missed her. The nurse was so sweet — she asked me if I knew Colton’s phone number and I started to cry. She said she would lend me her phone so I could call her. As she pulls out her phone my husband comes in and asked what we were doing. She tells him we’re gonna call Colton ‘cause I obviously need her. He goes, ‘Colton is our dog. My wife is high as a kite.’ To which I started to cry again and asked him to bring her.”

–Nancy Jaimes-Soto, Facebook

15. “I sold a garage door during my C-section.”

“I was so doped up during my C-section that I spent the whole time slurring a sales speech to the anesthesiologist for a garage door and opener. LOL… He bought one a few weeks later though!”

–Angelica Halls, Facebook

View this image ›

16. “It’s a disaster down there.”

“Right after my daughter was born and they were sewing up my degree tear, my husband says: ‘Whatever you do, don’t look in the mirror. It’s a disaster down there.'”

–Karen Halker Miller, Facebook

17. “You can kiss her first if it makes you more comfortable.”

“We had a very sweet female nurse in training come in with another nurse. The experienced nurse checked for dilation and took note on it and told the student to take a try. It was very apparent she had never had her fingers in another female before and she looked terrified. My husband, who is NEVER serious and always tries to make others uncomfortable, says ‘You can kiss her first if it make you more comfortable’… *mortified*. She did NOT think it was funny…”

–Lauren Ashley Walton-McGee, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

18. “We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact.”

“There I am, post-epidural, and the nurse comes to see if my water has broken. ‘I think so’ I say, not really knowing what I was supposed to be looking for. So she slides her gloved hand up in my business, and with the slightest of pokes proceeds to break my water. Unfortunately, the shock was such that I immediately contracted and trapped her hand in my vag. We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact as her glove filled with fluid.”

–Madeleine Kaizer, Facebook

19. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.”

“So my doctor is an older guy and when he came in to break my water he says very professionally, ‘This won’t hurt at all, but you will feel a lot of pressure.’ So I sit back and prop up. He pulls out a massive torture device that looks like something from American Horror Story. He places it in me and I immediately arch my back and try to kick him away while screaming, ‘GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.’ He looked down ashamed and quietly laughed, ‘That’s the first time a woman has told me that.’ My husband beamed at my doctor with the potential friendship he saw blossoming.”

–Celeste Pitre, Facebook

20. “Wow, you need to wax.”

“When they put my legs up to start pushing my husband looked at my vag and said, ‘Wow. You need to wax.’ I’m not sure I have forgiven him yet.”

–Heather Drew, Facebook

21. “Are you flossing my vagina?”

“When my beautiful 10 pound 3 ounce baby girl was born my world changed, I was instantly in love. I was looking at her when my doctor started stitching me up. Now, I’ve never had stitches before so the sensation was new (and in my effing vagina, no less) so without thinking I just looked at my doctor and asked, ‘are you flossing my vagina?'”

– jacquelines4a31a66f9, BuzzFeed.com

View this image ›

22. “I can’t do this!”

“I think my most glorious moment was when I grabbed my husband during transition and told him 100% seriously, ‘OK, this next contraction YOU have to push because I can’t do this.'”

–Amy Mansell, Facebook

23. “At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.”

“Once I hit a six I wanted my epidural, but the anesthesiologist took two hours to go from downstairs to the second floor. During that time I got ANGRY and yelled at my nurse. Once the epidural finally arrived and I’d calmed down, I told her I was so sorry that I yelled and I didn’t mean it. She said, ‘We are used to it. Don’t sweat it. At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.'”

–Callie Anne Crabtree, Facebook

24. “I suddenly started laughing and couldn’t stop.”

“With my third kiddo, I was well into active labor and overly exhausted (as lots of moms get to be at that point), when I suddenly started laughing…and I couldn’t stop. For 20–30 minutes. No joke. The nurses were both freaked out and laughing, too, as was my hubby. Needless to say, I was well known on that maternity ward for being the first mom to laugh uncontrollably during labor. *Note: If you end up in a similar situation, laughing through powerful, unmedicated contractions hurts like hell, but it makes the experience much more memorable. :)”

–Erin Wolf, Facebook

25. The Ultimate Potter Fan

“I was watching a Harry Potter marathon when the nurse checked to see how far dilated I was. I was 9 ¾. I was so ecstatic!!”

–Sarah Pike, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

26. “I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

“I was three days overdue, felt some consistent contractions, went to the hospital, and was hooked up to the monitors. After being there for three hours (we left at midnight), I wasn’t dilating anymore so they sent me home and told me to rest, that it would be in a day or two. I didn’t get any sleep that night, I tossed and turned and was in constant pain. I felt lots of pressure, went to the bathroom, held a mirror down there and could see my daughter’s head. I told my mother-in-law, she woke up her husband, we were all just in a panic and screaming at each other, the paramedics were called but she was born in front of the bathroom before they got there. I don’t remember a lot but I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

–Shea Posey, Facebook

View this image ›

27. “So I’m just hanging out on my hospital bed, legs wide open…”

“I had been pushing for about 15 minutes and my daughter was crowning, but apparently I was a little too numb because I was having a hard time pushing her past that point, so my doctor told me we were going to take a break and she’d be back in about five or 10 minutes. So I’m just hanging out in my hospital bed, legs wide open with my daughter’s head poking out, when, after 30 MINUTES, my doctor finally came back.”

–Carmen Breckenridge, Facebook

28. “Well, it happened.”

“I had my mom, my boyfriend, and two support people in the room, as well as my nurse, who was telling me to push (really to practice for when she was coming in the next few minutes). I was refusing since I had everyone in the room because I felt I was going to poop. I was screaming, ‘I can’t push, I can feel it. I’m gonna poop. I don’t want anyone to see that,’ and the nurse was assuring me I wasn’t, and everyone was trying to convince me to push because it’s OK. Well, it happened. Nobody said anything. But the nurse came and wiped me and all I said was ‘See, I told you so…'”

–Bethany Danielle Cooke, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

29. “Nope, that was you.”

“I heard someone rip a big one… I looked over at my sister and asked, ‘Was that you?!’ She just laughed and said…’Nope, that was you.’ Everyone was cracking up, especially me since I was so doped up.”

–Mariah Irvin, Facebook

30. “The bed did a sort of ‘Tokyo drift’ into the delivery room…”

“Partway through my labor, I felt a sudden, much worse pain than I had ever felt before. I hit the nurse-call button shrieking for help. A second nurse came in as the first one lifted the sheet to check…and they both exclaimed: ‘STOP PUSHING!!’

They started wheeling me out of the room. They kept shouting: ‘STOP PUSHING!’ and I kept shouting back: ‘I’M NOT PUSHING!’

We slammed through the double doors of the delivery room and the bed sorta did a ‘Tokyo drift’ to a stop in the middle of the room. The momentum caused me to drop from my side onto my back and as soon as my back landed on the bed, the baby popped out (and the pain went away). The nurse standing at the foot of my bed was pulling on gloves, and she snapped the last glove on and exclaimed: ‘Tell the doctor he can take his time now.'”

–Patty Smith, Facebook

31. “He just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was.”

“Giving birth to my second baby, as he was coming out he stuck one arm out and grabbed the head doctor’s scrubs and pulled. The young intern was so excited he just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was. Even my seasoned doctor seemed amazed. All I could think of is the baby must want out as bad as I want him to be.”

–Cherish Fritts Newman, Facebook

32. “GET IT OUT!”

“When the doctor finally arrived in the delivery room mid-pushing, he checks me and tells me to reach between my legs and grab her head. By that point, though, I was so ready for it to be over, I just screamed at him. ‘Get it out!'”

–Cassi Osborn, Facebook

View this image ›

33. “It looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

“I made the mistake of looking at my vagina in a mirror out of curiosity after being stitched up — it looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

–Erin Day, Facebook

34. “Never touch the placenta.”

“After my son was finally out, in my epidural-high state, I asked to touch the placenta…and they let me. Ladies. Never touch the placenta.”

–Kirsten Strider, Facebook

35. “He’s still attached!”

“The nurse was so worried about getting my newborn son cleaned up and checking him that she tried taking him before they cut the cord. It hurt. I yelled, ‘He’s still attached!’ and she set him down real quick. I almost punched that lady.”

–Rashelle Koier, Facebook

36. “I have never seen no shit like that in my life.”

My grandmother was present at the delivery. After the final push as my daughter was born, I looked over to my grandmother to see if she was crying… She wasn’t.

She was standing in the corner, horrified at what she just witnessed. After the chaos died down I asked my her why she was so horrified, having given birth herself. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘I have never seen no shit like that in my life. Don’t call me till after the baby’s born on the next one, OK Mija?’“

–Janay Danica Alexandra Guevara, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

37. “Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

“While sleeping in the hospital, I woke up with a start, screaming at my husband that baby was coming. By the time the nurse finally got in to the room and checked me, my daughter was already crowning. The nurse grabs the nearest on call doctor who barely made into the room, literally at the last second to grab the baby.

Five minutes later my OBGYN walks in, and goes “ok, are we ready to have a baby?” Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

– Vanessa Schira, Facebook

38. “My husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there…”

“Before my son was born, my husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there… Well, after he was out and they were going about the after-business, I came to enough to see him making a weird face. I asked him if he looked, he nodded yes and said he saw the placenta. He then whispered that it looked like a meat toupee.”

–Sandra Walker, Facebook

39. “If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

My husband and I was just waiting for me to go No. 2 so we could be discharged when I had already been in there two days. I wanted to do the suppository because the nurse said it was faster. I felt the poor nurses had seen enough of everything so I offered to do it myself. The nurse left and here I am in the bathroom trying and failing miserably. Instead of calling the nurse back in, I had my husband do it. He was mortified but a champ (while wearing gloves lol). After everything was said and done he looked at me and said, ‘If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.'”

–Kara Kieffer, Facebook

View this image ›

40. My teeth!

“While in labor with my sister, my mom remembers her mom arriving and screaming with excitement. Her teeth flew out under the hospital bed, and she couldn’t get them until after the birth!”

–Angel Morrison, Facebook

41. “Oh my god, I birthed an alien!”

“I felt what I thought was a No. 2 slip out just as I got into the birthing pool. I said to my husband, ‘Oh my god, I pooped in the pool!!’ Just then, a big bubble floated to the surface and I said, ‘Oh my god, I birthed an alien!’ The midwife grabbed the ‘bubble’ and tore it open. My son was born inside of his amniotic sack.”

–Laura Downie, Facebook

42. “Hell no, I want to check my hair.”

“In the delivery room they had a giant mirror on wheels so if you wanted, you could watch the delivery. I asked my nurse to wheel it over to me and she said, ‘Aw, you want to watch the delivery??’

“‘Hell no, I want to check my hair.'”

–Sarah Fouquet, Facebook

43. “He SHOWED my poop to my husband…”

“I pooped and the doctor lifted up a blue tarp with my poo on it and showed it to my husband saying, ‘This is why I put that there.’ Yep. He SHOWED my poop to my husband while I was trying to bring our child into the world.”

–Kristin Tutt, Facebook

44. “It looked like a crime scene in there.”

“While I was in the final stages of labor (i.e., pushing) a nurse stepped on my IV cord and dislodged it. We had no idea, so with every push more and more blood sprayed out of the unattached cord. Nobody noticed blood spraying everywhere. When the doctor came in for the last few pushes she remarked that it looked like a crime scene in there. There was a pool of blood on the floor and the nurse was splattered with it.”

–Tracey Citron, Facebook

45. “He was crowning!”

“Craziest moment from labor? When I was told to stop pushing. My son was crowning and they said to stop because the doctor wasn’t there yet. The nurse didn’t want to deliver him on her own. Stop pushing??? HE WAS CROWNING!”

–Alycia M. Smith, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

46. “He was tasked with scooping my poop nuggets out of the birthing pool with a fishing net.”

“I had a planned home-water birth, and when I was pushing I guess little bits of poop were coming out. What I didn’t learn until later was that every time one would float to the surface my incredibly dedicated husband was tasked with fishing my poop nuggets out of the water with one of those green aquarium nets.”

–Jana Silver, Facebook

47. GOAL!

“When my mom delivered my older sister, she was in Nigeria during the World Cup and the doctor made her wait till the match was over.”

–John Alex Nieboer, Facebook

48. Word to the wise…

“Words of wisdom: DO NOT EAT SPINACH DIP PRIOR TO LABOR.”

–Marla Czechowski, Facebook

49. “He put the placenta under his foot and stretched it up to his head.”

“After the exciting part was said and done, the doctor motioned for my boyfriend to join him and the foot of my bed. He said, ‘Watch this!’ and put the placenta under his foot and stretched it all the way up to his head. Boys….”

–Liz Boeche, Facebook

Want great parenting tips in your inbox twice a week? Sign up for the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter!

View this embed ›

If you want to be featured in similar BuzzFeed posts, follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/birth-is-freaking-hard

[kidsviral-blog]

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/49-real-life-labor-and-delivery-stories-if-you-can-handle-them/

49 Real Life Labor And Delivery Stories...If You Can Handle Them

Childbirth is no walk in the park. Unless you happen to be walking in the park when it happens.

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

The BuzzFeed Community asked readers to share their craziest memories from labor and delivery with us, and holy wow did they come through. If you’ve never given birth, proceed with caution. No, seriously.

1. “He delivered our baby on our bathroom floor.”

“As we were getting ready to leave for the hospital, I thought I was going to poop the turd of the century. I ran to the bathroom. My boyfriend was screaming, ‘What are you doing?! We have to go!’ And I yelled back, ‘I can’t stop it! I think I have to poop but this just doesn’t feel right!’

My eyes widened and I yelled ‘THIS BABY IS COMING NOW.’ My poor boyfriend delivered our baby boy on our bathroom floor at 4:50 a.m. So, to my precious, perfect babe, yes. I thought you were a giant, monstrous shit, not a 7 pound, 14 ounce squishy ball of cute.”

–Chantel Guidera, Facebook

View this image ›

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

2. “Her water broke in the middle of a Burger King…”

“When my mom was pregnant with me her water broke in the middle of a Burger King, so she threw down her cup of soda to hide the evidence.”

–Catie LaGrasta, Facebook

3. “I taught him in med school.”

“I was in mid-labor when a shift change occurred and the OB on call asked if I minded some interns coming through. Not at all, until one of the interns looks up, mid-examination, and asks me whether I taught neuroanatomy at a local medical school. Yeppers. I had taught him in med school. All I could think to ask was whether he had passed my class as I sure as heck wasn’t in much of a position to remember him!”

–Jen Kulak, Facebook

View this image ›

4. “I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

“My husband was front and center of the action, and on my second push my water broke violently in a huge, forceful gush. Being a paramedic, my husband is really, really good at dodging bodily fluids. Immediately after my water broke, I heard him say, ‘What the hell was that?’ from the opposite end of the bed from where he had just been. Not a drop on him; I’ll never understand how he moved that fast.”

–Brittaney Gilmore, Facebook

5. “Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!”

“My baby had a BM [bowel movement] in utero, so the first thing I heard when the doctor opened me up for the C-section was, ‘Whoa! Somebody pooped in the pool!'”

–Rosanna Bigford, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

6. “It was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

“When my mom was in labor with my sister, her water broke and all of it splashed onto the wall, almost hitting the doctor.

A couple of years later my mom was in labor with my little brother and her water exploded in the waiting room all over the floor. She was horrified. The nurse tried to comfort her. ‘Don’t worry,’ she told her, ‘there was one woman whose fluids ended up all over the wall.’

‘Yeah,’ my mom said, ‘that was me.’ Apparently she was a legendary story for the nurses there.”

–Rachel Elizabeth Mabey, Facebook

7. “I was peeing all over myself.”

“I had gotten my epidural, and during one of the hourly checks, my nurse was discharging my bladder. I really have no idea how she did it, but it involved some sort of tube into my bladder and into one of those pink tubs. Well, she did the tube thing, was looking at my stats, and I felt something move between my legs. Basically the pee tube had popped out of the tub, and I was just peeing all over myself. Honestly, I wasn’t really that embarrassed. I mean, the woman had already had her hand up my vag how many times at this point?”

–Tiffany Adams, Facebook

8. “I had two choices: Wipe my face, or be a good sister.”

“My sister was in delivery and I was holding one leg as she was pushing. She had an epidural so she couldn’t feel a thing. As my niece’s head popped out, I got splattered in the face with juices. Decision time. Drop her leg and wipe my face or be a good sister and keep holding up that leg as the rest of the baby came out. I was a good sister. Have never washed my face so well in my life!”

–Meghan McGovern, Facebook

View this image ›

9. “You are scaring the moms in the other rooms.”

“I screamed bloody murder during my contractions. The nurse walked in and told me in the nicest voice, ‘You are scaring all the moms in the other rooms who aren’t as far along as you are.’ I didn’t care. I screamed until I got my shot.”

–Lorin Armstrong, Facebook

10. “Fuck! He knows I’ve got kids!”

“I was pretty loopy on gas while they were putting the epidural in for my emergency C-section. All I remember thinking was how gorgeous my anesthetist was, and that ‘fuck, he knows I’ve got kids!'”

–Sarah Kerby, Facebook

11. “Everything tasted blue.”

“I got really drunk on gas and air with my second daughter and said that I could smell melted vanilla ice cream and that everything tasted blue.”

–Maggie Moo Spiller, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

12. “Shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!”

“After about 30 hours in I yelled at my mother to ‘shut the hell up and stop being so supportive!'”

– Whitney Roy, Facebook

13. “My vagina feels drunk.”

“After trying to ‘breathe through the contractions’ for a few hours, I asked for an epidural. They gave it to me and it felt so good once it kicked in, I started to feel loopy because I was pain-free after so much pain. The anesthesiologist came in to check on me and asked me how I was doing. I looked at him and said ‘My vagina feels drunk’… He tried to keep a straight face and act professional but had to turn around because he was laughing so hard.”

–Erin Ann Johnson, Facebook

14. “My wife is high as a kite.”

“I kept asking my husband to call Colton so I could tell her I loved her and missed her. The nurse was so sweet — she asked me if I knew Colton’s phone number and I started to cry. She said she would lend me her phone so I could call her. As she pulls out her phone my husband comes in and asked what we were doing. She tells him we’re gonna call Colton ‘cause I obviously need her. He goes, ‘Colton is our dog. My wife is high as a kite.’ To which I started to cry again and asked him to bring her.”

–Nancy Jaimes-Soto, Facebook

15. “I sold a garage door during my C-section.”

“I was so doped up during my C-section that I spent the whole time slurring a sales speech to the anesthesiologist for a garage door and opener. LOL… He bought one a few weeks later though!”

–Angelica Halls, Facebook

View this image ›

16. “It’s a disaster down there.”

“Right after my daughter was born and they were sewing up my degree tear, my husband says: ‘Whatever you do, don’t look in the mirror. It’s a disaster down there.'”

–Karen Halker Miller, Facebook

17. “You can kiss her first if it makes you more comfortable.”

“We had a very sweet female nurse in training come in with another nurse. The experienced nurse checked for dilation and took note on it and told the student to take a try. It was very apparent she had never had her fingers in another female before and she looked terrified. My husband, who is NEVER serious and always tries to make others uncomfortable, says ‘You can kiss her first if it make you more comfortable’… *mortified*. She did NOT think it was funny…”

–Lauren Ashley Walton-McGee, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

18. “We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact.”

“There I am, post-epidural, and the nurse comes to see if my water has broken. ‘I think so’ I say, not really knowing what I was supposed to be looking for. So she slides her gloved hand up in my business, and with the slightest of pokes proceeds to break my water. Unfortunately, the shock was such that I immediately contracted and trapped her hand in my vag. We maintained the most uncomfortable eye contact as her glove filled with fluid.”

–Madeleine Kaizer, Facebook

19. “GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.”

“So my doctor is an older guy and when he came in to break my water he says very professionally, ‘This won’t hurt at all, but you will feel a lot of pressure.’ So I sit back and prop up. He pulls out a massive torture device that looks like something from American Horror Story. He places it in me and I immediately arch my back and try to kick him away while screaming, ‘GET THE FUCK OUT OF ME.’ He looked down ashamed and quietly laughed, ‘That’s the first time a woman has told me that.’ My husband beamed at my doctor with the potential friendship he saw blossoming.”

–Celeste Pitre, Facebook

20. “Wow, you need to wax.”

“When they put my legs up to start pushing my husband looked at my vag and said, ‘Wow. You need to wax.’ I’m not sure I have forgiven him yet.”

–Heather Drew, Facebook

21. “Are you flossing my vagina?”

“When my beautiful 10 pound 3 ounce baby girl was born my world changed, I was instantly in love. I was looking at her when my doctor started stitching me up. Now, I’ve never had stitches before so the sensation was new (and in my effing vagina, no less) so without thinking I just looked at my doctor and asked, ‘are you flossing my vagina?'”

– jacquelines4a31a66f9, BuzzFeed.com

View this image ›

22. “I can’t do this!”

“I think my most glorious moment was when I grabbed my husband during transition and told him 100% seriously, ‘OK, this next contraction YOU have to push because I can’t do this.'”

–Amy Mansell, Facebook

23. “At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.”

“Once I hit a six I wanted my epidural, but the anesthesiologist took two hours to go from downstairs to the second floor. During that time I got ANGRY and yelled at my nurse. Once the epidural finally arrived and I’d calmed down, I told her I was so sorry that I yelled and I didn’t mean it. She said, ‘We are used to it. Don’t sweat it. At least you didn’t head-butt me like the girl yesterday.'”

–Callie Anne Crabtree, Facebook

24. “I suddenly started laughing and couldn’t stop.”

“With my third kiddo, I was well into active labor and overly exhausted (as lots of moms get to be at that point), when I suddenly started laughing…and I couldn’t stop. For 20–30 minutes. No joke. The nurses were both freaked out and laughing, too, as was my hubby. Needless to say, I was well known on that maternity ward for being the first mom to laugh uncontrollably during labor. *Note: If you end up in a similar situation, laughing through powerful, unmedicated contractions hurts like hell, but it makes the experience much more memorable. :)”

–Erin Wolf, Facebook

25. The Ultimate Potter Fan

“I was watching a Harry Potter marathon when the nurse checked to see how far dilated I was. I was 9 ¾. I was so ecstatic!!”

–Sarah Pike, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

26. “I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

“I was three days overdue, felt some consistent contractions, went to the hospital, and was hooked up to the monitors. After being there for three hours (we left at midnight), I wasn’t dilating anymore so they sent me home and told me to rest, that it would be in a day or two. I didn’t get any sleep that night, I tossed and turned and was in constant pain. I felt lots of pressure, went to the bathroom, held a mirror down there and could see my daughter’s head. I told my mother-in-law, she woke up her husband, we were all just in a panic and screaming at each other, the paramedics were called but she was born in front of the bathroom before they got there. I don’t remember a lot but I was told I bit my father-in-law’s shoulder.”

–Shea Posey, Facebook

View this image ›

27. “So I’m just hanging out on my hospital bed, legs wide open…”

“I had been pushing for about 15 minutes and my daughter was crowning, but apparently I was a little too numb because I was having a hard time pushing her past that point, so my doctor told me we were going to take a break and she’d be back in about five or 10 minutes. So I’m just hanging out in my hospital bed, legs wide open with my daughter’s head poking out, when, after 30 MINUTES, my doctor finally came back.”

–Carmen Breckenridge, Facebook

28. “Well, it happened.”

“I had my mom, my boyfriend, and two support people in the room, as well as my nurse, who was telling me to push (really to practice for when she was coming in the next few minutes). I was refusing since I had everyone in the room because I felt I was going to poop. I was screaming, ‘I can’t push, I can feel it. I’m gonna poop. I don’t want anyone to see that,’ and the nurse was assuring me I wasn’t, and everyone was trying to convince me to push because it’s OK. Well, it happened. Nobody said anything. But the nurse came and wiped me and all I said was ‘See, I told you so…'”

–Bethany Danielle Cooke, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

29. “Nope, that was you.”

“I heard someone rip a big one… I looked over at my sister and asked, ‘Was that you?!’ She just laughed and said…’Nope, that was you.’ Everyone was cracking up, especially me since I was so doped up.”

–Mariah Irvin, Facebook

30. “The bed did a sort of ‘Tokyo drift’ into the delivery room…”

“Partway through my labor, I felt a sudden, much worse pain than I had ever felt before. I hit the nurse-call button shrieking for help. A second nurse came in as the first one lifted the sheet to check…and they both exclaimed: ‘STOP PUSHING!!’

They started wheeling me out of the room. They kept shouting: ‘STOP PUSHING!’ and I kept shouting back: ‘I’M NOT PUSHING!’

We slammed through the double doors of the delivery room and the bed sorta did a ‘Tokyo drift’ to a stop in the middle of the room. The momentum caused me to drop from my side onto my back and as soon as my back landed on the bed, the baby popped out (and the pain went away). The nurse standing at the foot of my bed was pulling on gloves, and she snapped the last glove on and exclaimed: ‘Tell the doctor he can take his time now.'”

–Patty Smith, Facebook

31. “He just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was.”

“Giving birth to my second baby, as he was coming out he stuck one arm out and grabbed the head doctor’s scrubs and pulled. The young intern was so excited he just kept pointing at the baby and shouting how cool it was. Even my seasoned doctor seemed amazed. All I could think of is the baby must want out as bad as I want him to be.”

–Cherish Fritts Newman, Facebook

32. “GET IT OUT!”

“When the doctor finally arrived in the delivery room mid-pushing, he checks me and tells me to reach between my legs and grab her head. By that point, though, I was so ready for it to be over, I just screamed at him. ‘Get it out!'”

–Cassi Osborn, Facebook

View this image ›

33. “It looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

“I made the mistake of looking at my vagina in a mirror out of curiosity after being stitched up — it looked just like Heath Ledger’s fucked-up smile as the Joker.”

–Erin Day, Facebook

34. “Never touch the placenta.”

“After my son was finally out, in my epidural-high state, I asked to touch the placenta…and they let me. Ladies. Never touch the placenta.”

–Kirsten Strider, Facebook

35. “He’s still attached!”

“The nurse was so worried about getting my newborn son cleaned up and checking him that she tried taking him before they cut the cord. It hurt. I yelled, ‘He’s still attached!’ and she set him down real quick. I almost punched that lady.”

–Rashelle Koier, Facebook

36. “I have never seen no shit like that in my life.”

My grandmother was present at the delivery. After the final push as my daughter was born, I looked over to my grandmother to see if she was crying… She wasn’t.

She was standing in the corner, horrified at what she just witnessed. After the chaos died down I asked my her why she was so horrified, having given birth herself. She looked me dead in the eyes and said, ‘I have never seen no shit like that in my life. Don’t call me till after the baby’s born on the next one, OK Mija?’“

–Janay Danica Alexandra Guevara, Facebook

View this image ›

Jenny Chang // BuzzFeed

37. “Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

“While sleeping in the hospital, I woke up with a start, screaming at my husband that baby was coming. By the time the nurse finally got in to the room and checked me, my daughter was already crowning. The nurse grabs the nearest on call doctor who barely made into the room, literally at the last second to grab the baby.

Five minutes later my OBGYN walks in, and goes “ok, are we ready to have a baby?” Sorry doc, you missed the whole show.”

– Vanessa Schira, Facebook

38. “My husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there…”

“Before my son was born, my husband and I made an agreement that he would not look down there… Well, after he was out and they were going about the after-business, I came to enough to see him making a weird face. I asked him if he looked, he nodded yes and said he saw the placenta. He then whispered that it looked like a meat toupee.”

–Sandra Walker, Facebook

39. “If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.”

My husband and I was just waiting for me to go No. 2 so we could be discharged when I had already been in there two days. I wanted to do the suppository because the nurse said it was faster. I felt the poor nurses had seen enough of everything so I offered to do it myself. The nurse left and here I am in the bathroom trying and failing miserably. Instead of calling the nurse back in, I had my husband do it. He was mortified but a champ (while wearing gloves lol). After everything was said and done he looked at me and said, ‘If that’s not love, I don’t know what is.'”

–Kara Kieffer, Facebook

View this image ›

40. My teeth!

“While in labor with my sister, my mom remembers her mom arriving and screaming with excitement. Her teeth flew out under the hospital bed, and she couldn’t get them until after the birth!”

–Angel Morrison, Facebook

41. “Oh my god, I birthed an alien!”

“I felt what I thought was a No. 2 slip out just as I got into the birthing pool. I said to my husband, ‘Oh my god, I pooped in the pool!!’ Just then, a big bubble floated to the surface and I said, ‘Oh my god, I birthed an alien!’ The midwife grabbed the ‘bubble’ and tore it open. My son was born inside of his amniotic sack.”

–Laura Downie, Facebook

42. “Hell no, I want to check my hair.”

“In the delivery room they had a giant mirror on wheels so if you wanted, you could watch the delivery. I asked my nurse to wheel it over to me and she said, ‘Aw, you want to watch the delivery??’

“‘Hell no, I want to check my hair.'”

–Sarah Fouquet, Facebook

43. “He SHOWED my poop to my husband…”

“I pooped and the doctor lifted up a blue tarp with my poo on it and showed it to my husband saying, ‘This is why I put that there.’ Yep. He SHOWED my poop to my husband while I was trying to bring our child into the world.”

–Kristin Tutt, Facebook

44. “It looked like a crime scene in there.”

“While I was in the final stages of labor (i.e., pushing) a nurse stepped on my IV cord and dislodged it. We had no idea, so with every push more and more blood sprayed out of the unattached cord. Nobody noticed blood spraying everywhere. When the doctor came in for the last few pushes she remarked that it looked like a crime scene in there. There was a pool of blood on the floor and the nurse was splattered with it.”

–Tracey Citron, Facebook

45. “He was crowning!”

“Craziest moment from labor? When I was told to stop pushing. My son was crowning and they said to stop because the doctor wasn’t there yet. The nurse didn’t want to deliver him on her own. Stop pushing??? HE WAS CROWNING!”

–Alycia M. Smith, Facebook

View this image ›

Morgan Shanahan // BuzzFeed

46. “He was tasked with scooping my poop nuggets out of the birthing pool with a fishing net.”

“I had a planned home-water birth, and when I was pushing I guess little bits of poop were coming out. What I didn’t learn until later was that every time one would float to the surface my incredibly dedicated husband was tasked with fishing my poop nuggets out of the water with one of those green aquarium nets.”

–Jana Silver, Facebook

47. GOAL!

“When my mom delivered my older sister, she was in Nigeria during the World Cup and the doctor made her wait till the match was over.”

–John Alex Nieboer, Facebook

48. Word to the wise…

“Words of wisdom: DO NOT EAT SPINACH DIP PRIOR TO LABOR.”

–Marla Czechowski, Facebook

49. “He put the placenta under his foot and stretched it up to his head.”

“After the exciting part was said and done, the doctor motioned for my boyfriend to join him and the foot of my bed. He said, ‘Watch this!’ and put the placenta under his foot and stretched it all the way up to his head. Boys….”

–Liz Boeche, Facebook

Want great parenting tips in your inbox twice a week? Sign up for the BuzzFeed Parents newsletter!

View this embed ›

If you want to be featured in similar BuzzFeed posts, follow the BuzzFeed Community on Facebook and Twitter.

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/morganshanahan/birth-is-freaking-hard