#BUT! i wont try to force it so im just vibin at whatever blog i feel most like in that moment

[darabeatha]

/ that aside- I apologize to all my other blogs, f.ate keeps consuming me

[unfortunatematchups]

its been real, guys.

this blog came to be because four people had a shared passion and wanted to make something out of it. maybe the amount of love we had to this blog wasnt all equal, some of us loved homestuck and writing match ups more than the others.

but as this blog ages, so does our love for homestuck. with homestuck 2 absolutely destroying everything ive come to love about homestuck, ive found that i actually have a weaker grasp and understanding on the characters than i actually do. i can no longer find myself able to match people accurately to my liking.

ive done all i could, really, genuinely, truthfully and painfully. ive done my best not to let homestuck 2, beyond the absolute garbage fire of what i cant bring myself to consider canon, affect how i see and feel about the kids. the trolls havent suffered much slander on their part, not yet anyway. i still love the trolls i love, but the same cant be said for the kids. knowing that this is how the kids turn out to be is crushing and ruins everything ive come to know and love about the characters, even if i never liked some of them that much anyway.

its like watching or reading a horrifying scene or truth about something you love. it taints the image and starts to make you really doubt just whether or not you really knew that thing you claim to love. throughout homestuck 2 ive just been asking myself, ‘is this really the same story?’

i probably shouldnt let some botched writing ruin my perception of what i love. but the damage has been done. theres no point in me writing the characters as they were in homestuck, pretending that what they do in homestuck 2 didnt happen. the final statement is that homestuck 2 hurt the love i had for homestuck, and while im upset that i let it do so, theres nothing i can do. im not going to try and revitalise the passion i had. ive better things to obsess over, and i refuse to waste it on homestuck.

im writing this so that any of you following this blog or have the intent to can see this and reevaluate whether or not you really want to follow or keep following. right now theres nintey-four people following, and id be lying if i said i wasnt surprised by how many people actually like the stuff were making.

a part of why im making the grand decision to close this blog is because its run its course. like my previous post stated, im the only one still writing for it. the other writer has other shit going on and so do i. im not going to force the other mods to write for this blog, and neither am i going to force myself to choke out something. i know when something is dying, and i know when to let it rest. the last post i made, i still had a little bit of fight left in me. i thought that if someone came in with a stupid good request, it would reignite that flame and let me get back into the groove of writing. it didnt. theres a lovely five part request that gives me plenty of inspiration, but i was kidding myself.

by the time id made that post, i think its safe to say that most of us lost that spark of adrenaline we had in the beginning. there was a slim chance i was going to keep it running, and the wheel didnt land on it.

i thought i knew the characters. and maybe i do, but not as closely as i once did. i no longer have the ability to write up something that matches bits and pieces of both personalities together to form a complete, satisfying puzzle. im just staring at a paragraph of bullshit that i cant string together long enough to properly read it, let alone make a response to it. im losing whatever investment i put into homestuck, and its showing. i havent even thought about homestuck all that much in these few months. thats not to say i wont still love john, dave and equius, but they take less space in my heart than they used to.

another part of why im closing this blog is so i wont have to have it nagging at the back of my mind. since february ive always kept this blog in the back of my mind, checking in on it once every few weeks to see if theres a new ask or follow. and there is. people are still following this blog, waiting for a response, waiting for the content that this blog provided. im not going to lie, there probably wont be. maybe i can refurbish it for something else, but as of now, this blog is going to be left alone. 

thats all. thanks for taking the time to read this. theres no proper way to explain why this blog is closing, so this is the best i can and will do. its been real, and im glad i could make some people happy with the matches. 

to mod spaghetti, thanks for checking in on this blog from time to time, giving ur lil posts here and there, and helping with some of the matches. stay vibin, cryptid.

to mod pie, thanks for writing those non homestuck requests. i dont know how to comfort people, so i hope the memes im sending you help, even if by a little. keep vibin with ur nasty owo shit

and to mod tamago. thanks for those late night editing sessions where i would just vomit words and youd clean up the mistakes. who knew i made so many, huh? heres to hopefully getting any grade above c for our future modules.