#Blood Lad Pantomime

[fanficfanattic]

Just watched the Wembley confrontation approximately 30 times so I could write down the exact dialogue. And to get more of the body language and gestures down. The scene lasts for precisely two minutes. (37:07-39:07)

James pokes his head into the room asking, “Are you decent?” Laughs as he crosses the doorway.

James walks past the security guard to enter the room, puts his thumb to his nose, before saying to the guard, “I told ya” and then to himself, “prick.” Laughs.

James is only a bit into the room before he says to the room, “Oh, gentlemen, gentlemen.” He throws his arms wide and mockingly groans before laughing again.

James is now fully into the center of the room and turns a bit to try and address all of the team. Says “Hey, it’s a tough one lads. It’s a tough one, but no shame to it.”

“Cause, you know, we only ever” pretends to tap his temple like he’s trying to remember something: “beat,” does a few feet bounces and fake little punches, “uh, everybody we play.” Laughs again.

James turns to Lasso who does the quickest fake Midwestern polite smile while Roy stands next to him stiff and angry. Will is looking over his shoulder, between the two coaches, stocking or taking out bottles from a mini fridge maybe?

“So you pups had no chance,” while once again spreading his arms. He finally looks right at Jamie and lets out a fake gasp before saying “Oh.” As though he is disappointed to see Jamie is actually standing there.

He points double finger guns at him while adding, “And there he is, my son.”

Says “My own flesh and blood” with mock grief in his voice. He stares at Jamie from half a room away, and bounces on his feet again.

“Poor Jamie, my son.”

He rocks his hips loose even as he brings his pointer finger to his nose. Does an exaggerated sniff. Then he goes back to addressing the room at large. Faces one way as he starts to talk.

“Now,” and he gestures with his right hand, then turns to take in the other side, “maybe I’m thinking his heart’s still in Manchester” and he gestures with both hands slightly towards his own chest “and that’s why he missed that sitter in the first half.” He points a finger into the air like he’s having a eureka moment.

Chuckles. Does another of his fake sympathetic groans.

“Oh ho ho.” And then lets out a little “Whew!”

Then starts tiny jogging towards Jamie while sing songing “You absolutely bottled* it.” He stops to throw his head back, arms wide, and then straightens up to slow walk closer. He laughs while saying, “You bottled it!”

Then he’s only a few steps away from Jamie and starts pantomiming some boxing moves. Ducks just a bit, has his hands in fists doing small jabs. “What were you thinking?”

Then he is right at Jamie and continues to do the small jabs, not hard, but landing like small pokes right against Jamie’s stomach. Jamie ever so slightly steps back. James pauses for half a second and then does an extra jab pushing Jamie another half step back.

James lets out a teasing “Ah ah ah.” Then “I’m only kidding, hey.” Before laughing again with a bit of a cough in the middle.

Ted does not look impressed and Roy has titled his head back a bit to squint at the man. Will is focusing on the mini fridge until James starts talking again. This time more quietly and just to Jamie.

“Hey, look, uhh…do us a favor…” and he comes back on screen as he moves his hand from his face, while sniffing, but like he’d just gestured Jamie closer or perhaps had gestured to his ear to indicate Jamie should listen to him. He continues “and get Denbo and Bug past security.”

James moves his right arm to indicate the stadium on the other side of the wall. “They wanna go on the pitch-” then he mimes raising a camera and clicking it. Jamie’s mouth turns down into a frown while his head gives the smallest shake. “-take a few snaps and all that, yeah?” Before licking his lips, letting out another sniff, and bouncing on his feet 2-3 times.

Jamie finally says something, which is to answer his dad with “I’d rather ‘em not.” He stares a hair over his father’s shoulder, not making eye contact with anyone.

James looks a bit to the side, not in embarrassment nor seemingly worried what people were thinking about his son turning his request down. More like he didn’t actually need to look at Jamie anymore.

“Yeah, they only want to look around.” And he looks back to Jamie again but it’s because he’s miming a guy jab with his left hand while saying “It’ll only take a second.” Then mimes punching him right in the jaw with a weird sound effect noise. “Doosh(?).”

James mouth drops open into a wide grin and chuckle.

Jamie repeats himself word for word, “I’d rather ‘em not.” But he is slightly louder this time and looks right at his father. He nods his head ever so slightly.

Offscreen James responds with, “What?” Then focuses on his face returning to mockery.

“What, you’re not gonna all go moody little bitch” while looking Jamie up and down, continuing, “just cause you got your arse served to you on a plate, are ya?”

Jamie is quieter again when he responds with “Don’t speak to me like that.” Jamie is back to not meeting his dad’s eye even as James starts bouncing on the balls of his feet again.

Then he pushes a little closer in to Jamie, face seemingly open to hearing what Jamie has to say, before going “ahuh?”

Jamie repeats himself word for word for the second time. “Don’t speak to me like that.”

James repeats his “Huh?” while pressing closer again, head tilted as though to hear him better. Jamie tries to repeat himself for a third time but his dad interrupts with his own third “huh?”

When Jamie finishes, his dad says “Huh?” a fourth time and then pulls back a minuscule amount to look Jamie in the eye.

James says to him “Okay, well,” and James lifts his right hand to flick up in the air. “-let’s see if you can hear this, hmm?”

Beard is shown in the background seething. James is still right in Jamie’s face, where he sniffs again, before leaning a bit closer as though to whisper.

“You know that ‘ickle tv show’ you made?” And makes broad gestured quotation marks even. “You just made it easier for Manchester City” He flicks the first finger of his left hand up like he’s about to count off things but instead uses it to point at Jamie while adding “to kick you to the curb!”

Then he leans back with a grin to continue mocking Jamie. He even adds a tongue waggle of his own.

“And look where you are now.” He laughs in his face. “Twaddling about with a bunch of…”

He spreads his arms wide and spins 180° to address the whole room. “…amateurs! No offense, no offense.”

No one responds to him, so he gives more of a belly laugh, and scratches the side of his nose with his right forefinger. Then turns around, leading with that finger pointing at Jamie. Who is not only not looking his father in the eye, he’s truly looking downwards for the first time.

Then he flattens his mouth and starts to turn away with his dad going “Huh?”

James grabs Jamie’s left bicep with his own left hand, to swing him back to face him yelling “Don’t turn your back on me” then pushing Jamie while finishing with “you pussy.”

Jamie pushes off from the foot he’d stepped back from his dad with to throw his punch.

James hits the floor, palms stopping his fall, with a groan. He pushes half up onto his hip and puts the back of his hand to his face.

Jamie’s face is in a pained grimace.

He pants out “Jesus god” while glaring venomously up at his son. Which must be when he notices that Jamie is wild eyed and terrified. The grimace is gone and instead he looks stunned.

James laughs before pushing himself up to standing, Jamie’s mouth parts while his dad is saying “Oh, yeah. Okay.”

Once standing, James says “You can have that one for free.” And gets one bounce in while readying his own fist.

Which is when Beard grabs him and says “Time to go.”

While being dragged towards the door, James is still trying to fight Jamie. “You wanna go, big time. Hey? Let’s have it, Jamie!”

Beard almost has him to the door when James screams “Don’t you forget where you came from!” Then Beard gives his “watch the door” warning while pushing James’ head against the door.

Edit 2: @kaph123 asked if James said “balled it” (what cc says and I originally posted despite some questions) or “bottled it” (a more common expression). I did a relisten and it sounded like balled BUT also like the accent might be in play. @itsjustpoopeh listened with better headphones and revealed there was a bit of a stutter which indicates its most likely Mancunian consonant dropping and should be bottled. I changed it above!

Edited to add the comfort we all needed at the reminder of our tender human hearts from @thetarttfuldickhead 🤣

[mymangacaps]

[randomimperialcitizen]

The Tool For The Job An Ork short story

A small piece I thought would be a humorous example of Ork antics.

The thumping of artillery could be heard clearly in the distance. The Ork camp was far enough away to be safe from the reach of the guns, but only just. The wily brutes unwilling to be far away from the action. The Ork camp, or what passes for one amongst their kind, was a shoddy thing. A loose collection of scrap sheds and wilting tents. Their pattern was ever shifting as they were erected one day and cannibalised the next. Dirt roads were busy with traffic as scrap engines hauled mobs of Orks towards the next battlefield. On the edge of this mess was a two story structure making its home on the edge of the dusty wasteland. It was little more than an overgrown shack. Its walls were strips of an old tanker hull patched together and a roof of corrugated steel. Despite its slap dash appearance and rickety engineering, it was one of the most permanent structures of the camp. The shack was the main dispensary for grog. The main source of drink amongst their kind. To call it potable is generous, but the greenskins thrive on the caustic alcohol. Most Orks were smart enough to know that you don’t mess with the grog. And those dumb enough to start tearing down the walls got a belly full of bullets.

The shack was a riot of activity. The noise was deafening as each ork struggled to shout over the others. It was crowded as well, with every available space filled with a mismatched collection of furniture. In one corner a mek slouched on a dilapidated sofa nearly flattened from use. On the second floor, a freeboota captain is passed out, a stack of chipped shot glasses balanced precariously on a dainty coffee table made of fine wood and silver gilding. Gretchin ducked and weaved between the jam-packed tables. Grog sloshed onto their shoulders as they hauled overlaiden trays over their heads. There was little time for specific orders. The grots simply threw down their load on the driest tables and scooped up any loose teeth left out. If an ork wanted something fancy they could fight their way to the bar and pester someone in charge.

One group was having a particularly interesting conversation. With a table made from a train axel by the window, it was a good place for lunchtime chatter. Today they were having a particularly deep and meaningful discussion of orkish philosophy.

An ork in the colours of the speed Freaks drops his weapon on the table. A good three feet of pipe with heavy cogs welded on for the head.

“Dis is da only choppa ya need.” The speed freak declared, tapping his knuckles against his prized weapon for emphasis. “Ya zoomin along yeah? All ya need do is give em’ a wallop and pop goes der ‘eadz! Noth’n feels betta dan getting dem just roight.” The chair creaks dangerously as the red ork leans back. “Made dis beauty meself. Didn’t cost a single toof. Dats da best part, ya just need a stick wiff somethin ‘eavy and ya good to go!” 

“Bah!” another ork chimes in. This one was from the Snakebite clan judging from the tattoos and piercings. He leaned back in his chair with his arms folded, obviously unimpressed. “It doesn’t even chop,” he complains. He sticks his arm out, gesticulating with an upturned palm. “How can it be a choppa if it don’t chop?!” With this the snakebite leans forward and slams his own weapon on the table, spilling grog everywhere. It was the stereotypical axe of the orkish culture. A short steel haft with a brick of iron hammered out into the rough shape of an axe head. “Dis is a choppa, good an proppa. Any lad with some know-how can get ya one wiff just a pocket o’teef. Dis will kill anythin. And if it don’t, ya haven’t hit it enough! Every Ork should ‘ave one uv deez. If ya don’t, you’ze aint a proppa Ork!” He finishes his statement slapping the table.

Such a statement would typically end in a brawl to defend their Orkish pride. But the group had known each other for awhile now and were familiar with their friend’s puritanical rants. Now his inflammatory statement merely elicited a chorus of tired groans and a few eye rolls.

“Woah now, we all love somethin good an’ choppy.” The next ork in the circle chimes in, soothing the cantankerous Snakebite’s ire. This one was a Blood Axe kommando, his arms and face smeared with tiger stripes of blue and purple grease. “If you go at one o’ dem beakies or spiky ‘umies wiff dat, you gunna be hackin away for a day and a ‘alf,” the Blood Axe laments, waving at the axe at the table. He scoots forward on his improvised stool, leaning forward in a conspiratorial manner. “What you need is wunna deez.” The bloodaxe slides a broad machete out of a leather scabbard. A simple piece of hardened steel hammered out into a straight backed blade. “Don’tcha worry, it’s good an choppy. But it’s stabby too. Real good when face’n dem ‘ard humies. Da pointy end is wutchya want for finaglin’ past all dem ‘ard bitz.” The kommando wiggles the blade around in the air, pantomiming the act of sliding the blade between his invisible quary’s ribs. “It’s everyfin an Ork needs.”

The circle of Orks hummed and hawed. None of them wanted to agree. It was a good weapon. Lethal and flexible in its uses. But a kommando’s recommendation to quietly go for a kidney? Quite un-orkish. But none of them could really come up with a decent argument. There is one member of the table who didn’t seem fazed. He was full of confidence with his toothy smirk. He was a big Ork. His bulk exaggerated by the gaudy, yellow amour he was wearing. He rattles like a sack of coins from the obscene volume of stolen medals tacked onto him. All the hallmarks of a member of the Bad Moons clan.

He wags his finger at the table.

“I got a treat for ya,” he offers.

He reaches down beside him, coming back up with a bulky chainsword. It was short and bulky, with a chunky engine block and a fat guide bar with a gap toothed chain wrapped around it. A strip of scrap was folded over as a back plate and a spiked guard added to the grip. It was an oversized and unwieldy deathtrap of a contraption, all painted in garish yellows.

“Now dis,” he says while he hefted the weapon. “Is da killiest choppa a lad can ‘ave. It slices, it dices and all dat good stuff!” The Ork was hitting his stride now. Speaking with jovial enthusiasm and becoming more animated in his sales pitch. “Dis bad boy will chop anyfin! Humies, beakies, creepy crawlies, whateva! And da best part? It’s flashy too and every Ork haz gots to be flashy.” He pats his prized weapon likes its a prized fighting squig. “Worth every toof,” he finishes.

“Oh, zog off,” the blood axe cries out. “Does it look like we’z made o’ teef?”

“Wut? Not my problem you ain’t got da teef,” the bad moons Ork deflects casually.

“He’s right,” the speed freak chimes in. “If I got dat much teef, I’m gettin sum snazz for me bike.”

“Or a new squig,” mumbles the snakebite.

The bad moons ork was losing his patience now.

“If ya don’t wonna spend da teef, why don’t ya get a stick like that git?!” The yellow clad points an accusatory finger at the speed freak.

Like all ork communications the polite conversation was quickly turning combative. The piece was quickly falling apart and devolving into a shouting match. Angry orks began pointing fingers and denigrating each other’s choices in weaponry. The snakebite accused the blood axe of being un-orkish and the bad moon called the snakebite a backwards simpleton. Amongst all this the evil suns ork was of the opinion that they were all self important snobs.

As their endless bickering dragged on a new ork entered the shack. A giant shadow filled the doorway. Too large for the crooked frame the colossal ork had to enter sideways, shuffling his bulk past the threshold. Once through the doorway one could truly appreciate his size. It was a monster of an ork, easily a head taller than any other ork in there and twice as wide. This was an ork nob, the biggest and meanest of the orks. The floorboards creaked and faintly trembled underneath the tread of his boots. With armour bedecked in chequered black it was plain to see that he was a member of the Goff clan. 

Unfortunately for the squabbling orks the big goff heard their murderous debate. A discussion pertaining to combat? Of course a goff’s opinion was needed. He lumbered over to the table. Too busy arguing, the gang of ork didn’t noticed the mountain of muscle towering over them.

“You’z all wrong, ya gits,” the big ork growls.

The group all turn to look up at the giant brute. The black clad nob shouldered his way to the table. Leaning over, he drops his hand on the scuffed tabletop. More drinks are toppled over from the weight of the massive paw. It was a calloused mitt covered in a decades worth of scars, the smallest finger missing a joint.

"Dis. Is da killiest ting out dere." He spoke with a confidence born of experience. “Ya put anyfin’ in dis hand, it’s da killiest fing out dere’. No matter wot.” He looks around the table as his orkish pride infected the others. “It can be ‘ard. It can be choppy. It can be stabby or just proppa nasty! It’s all killy cuz you’z an Ork!”

The table cheered at the oratory skills of the orkish noble. He leans in, in a conspiratorial manner.

“Don’t you worry bout da teef. Cuz dis’ll get ya all da teef you need,” The Ork nob says while pointing at his fist. “Yeah just need a good buddy and…”

He whirls around and plants his meaty fist square in the bad moons’ face. Bits of ork ivory fly through the air as the yellow Ork tumbles to the ground. The big Goff scoops up the Ork teeth scattered across the table.

“Drinks for dese good lads. I’m payin!” He holds up the first full of teeth, yelling back to the bar. The tables cheers again, even the bad moons boy joins in groggily, raising a fist from the floor. 

Another long night filled with grog.

[milliondollarbaby87]

This is my overview of 2017 at the Theatre which has been a very special year with plenty of trips to London and even a trip to New York and squeezing in some Broadway shows. All to go along with the trips to Newcastle’s Theatre Royal and the Sunderland Empire to catch the latest UK touring shows.

In 2016 I managed to see 31 shows. In 2017 I managed to see 36 shows! So just beating the 2016 total! You can see a list of all of these shows here. This also included trying to get plenty of deals and really using the day seats to help save money.

January started off with a play and that was The Play That Goes Wrong which had fantastic reviews during its West End run and I could easily see why. Such a hilarious night at the theatre and much needed to start the year off, Read the full review here.

February turned into a pretty busy theatre month with a trip to London. But it started with Wonderland the Musical which is a pretty new musical and a new adventure for Alice heading back to wonderland, I really thought this was outstanding especially with Kerry Ellis in it too! Read the full review here and Stage Door with Kerry Ellis! Then onto a London trip and that included getting Day Seats for Dreamgirls with the incredible Amber Riley in it! A truly fantastic show that really does have so many good musical numbers, Read the full review here and stage door with the Cast! The following day a matinee performance of Beautiful: The Carole King Musical which has quickly became one of my favourites. Then that night it was over to the London Palladium to catch Whoopi Goldberg doing a stand up show, it had been a very long time since she had done that in the UK! Read full review here. I finished off this month with another UK Tour this time The Wedding Singer based on the popular film of the same name, which pretty much is what you would expect, Read full review here.

March included another trip down to the West End to see Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? which I have wanted to see live on stage since first watching the film. With Imelda Staunton taking on the role of Martha I just had to see this, Conleth Hill was outstanding as well! Read the full review here. The next trip was to see Million Dollar Quartet on its UK Tour in Newcastle, looking at the night when legends came together and what just might have gone on, a very interesting show, read the full review here. A repeat of a show I first saw many years ago in the legendary Blood Brothers which you can easily understand why it is still going to this day, read the full review here.

  April I had only one show originally booked with two very last minute deals. Since totally loving Les Mis last year I went to see Beyond the Barricade which features previous members of Les Mis cast and it is a fantastic musical theatre concert to check out if you love musicals, read the full review here. A very unknown and new musical was next up with All or Nothing the Small Faces musical which was very impressive and in the same format as Sunny Afternoon, read the full review here. The Woman in Black was next up and it is a very interesting play, really pushing the boundaries and keeping everyone on the edge of their seat from start to finish, read the full review here.

  May would see another trip down to London and a rather busy few days at different theatres. Taking in Funny Girl with Sheridan Smith taking the hit West End production on tour, read the full review here. The first show of two in the day in London was 42nd Street which was a very impressive show and even better that I managed to get the tickets from the Today Tix app! I have always been such a huge fan of tap dancing and this is the perfect show for that, read the full review here. Then another trip to see what had become my favourite show of the moment with Beautiful: The Carole King Musical, read the full review here.

  June for whatever reason ended up with only one show Dirty Dancing, which is pretty much the film just redone on the stage which is a little bit disappointing really as the tickets are rather on the pricey side for this one, read the full review here.

July was probably the most impressive month considering during the New York trip I managed to see three shows! Including some absolute legends on stage at the same time. Started off the trip with War Paint: A New Musical which had none other than Patti LuPone who I have always wanted to see in a show, along with Christine Ebersole and the songs had been specially written just for them, read the full review here. It was then also a fantastic experience to go to the CD launch for the show as well! I had just missed Groundhog Day the Musical when it premiered in London so managed to snap up some rush tickets for this one, a very clever musical considering the day is repeated over and over again but some very impressive songs to help this along, read the full review here. Then moving onto Hello, Dolly! Starring Bette Midler, yes really I had managed to get tickets for this well before we went and it was outstanding. The ticket prices taught me that the West End isn’t quite that bad (yet) but this was more than worth it as the theatre was pretty small the seats weren’t as high up as I expected them to be, read the full review here. To finish this month off I went to see local lad Joe McElderry and his Saturday Night at the Movies Tour, I had these tickets for so long that he actually changed the name of the tour in that time. It really was a good night of songs from the movies and I guess fits in so very well with what this blog is all about, read the full review here.

  August ended up having a very last minute London trip to catch the closing night of Beautiful but started off with La Cage Aux Folles which eventually got its UK Tour having cancelled one a few years ago now. It is a show that won’t be for everyone but very impressive and I enjoyed seeing it again after many years, read the full review here.   When heading to London for the last show of Beautiful I just had to squeeze in a matinee as well so I decided on Bat out of Hell the Musical, I have always been a fan of Meatloaf so just had to see this one. It was a very loud and amazing rock show which I was so pleased to get to see, read the full review here. Then the emotional trip to see Beautiful: The Carole King Musical as it closed in the West End, read the full review here. Then a truly spectular event happened in Newcastle at the Theatre Royal when Young Frankenstein the Musical made its UK debut with Mel Brooks present! Read the full review here and Mel Brooks on stage!

  September really pushed my obsession with Young Frankenstein the Musical so much that I went back to see it twice more during it’s Newcastle run as it really is such an incredible show, makes you laugh and happy which let’s face it is what everyone wants in life not just from a show! Stage door with the cast, stage door with Lesley Joseph and stage door with Susan Stroman. The next touring show was Flashdance the Musical and lucky last minute cheap tickets as well, considering I had never seen the film before and it wasn’t really my type of thing, read the full review here. The next was a brand new show Son of a Preacher Man and using Dusty Springsteen songs, being a huge fan I was very interested to how this one was going to work, read the full review here. Love Letters a show starring Ryan O’Neal and Ali MacGraw was coming on tour but it was cancelled due to O’Neal having back surgery. The last show this month was the UK Tour of Hairspray the Musical which for some reason I had never actually seen on stage before and it is such a fun show, read the review here.

    October would see my final London trip of the year and I actually didn’t have any tickets booked before going, attempting to get day seats for both shows. I was supporting a very local show as the first one this month with Geordie the Musical which had moved to another venue after seeing it at the Customs House a couple of years ago now, read the full review here. Then another show that I had never actually seen on stage before Mamma Mia as I didn’t really think I would be a huge fan of it even though I like the film as a guilty pleasure, read the full review here. Another new show and play Shirley Valentine which saw a truly fantastic performance from Jodie Prenger in this one woman show, read the full review here. My day seat challenge then happened in London as I went to see Aladdin the Musical which has always been one of my favourite Disney films and it really is a magical theatre experience, read the full review here. Obviously I had to go and see Young Frankenstein the Musical again since it settled in the West End and it see if they had changed anything since the previews in Newcastle, read the full review here and stage door with the cast.

    Spot me! https://twitter.com/DesOConnorCBE

https://twitter.com/DesOConnorCBE

November would see only two shows and starting with entertainment legends Des O’Connor and Jimmy Tarbuck on a UK Tour, which included a night of laughs and reminiscing about the older days, read the full review here. Finishing the musicals off for the year just had to be Beautiful: The Carole King Musical as it came to Newcastle on it’s UK Tour.

      December is always a pretty slow month now in terms of Pantomimes taking over the Theatres. Plus I couldn’t have my Wednesday before Christmas matinee trip this year (don’t worry I am starting 2018 with plenty of West End Theatre). This meant that I only went to see one production this month being at my local theatre The Customs House for their Pantomime The Lambton Worm, read full review here.

There you have it my very busy 2017 at the Theatre which I managed to fit in a lot of shows and was very obsessed with Beautiful: The Carole King Musical and Young Frankenstein the Musical, both for different reasons in terms of musicals but the enjoyment of both shows really was something else. I will be starting 2018 in London and taking in a few shows, but other than that I don’t really have many tickets booked yet so will be looking to try and get some last minute deals and seeing which other shows will be announced for UK Tours during 2018!

2017 at the Theatre This is my overview of 2017 at the Theatre which has been a very special year with plenty of trips to London and even a trip to New York and squeezing in some Broadway shows.

[ecotone99]

[MF] Static left over from when the Universe began

Mr. Parsons watched the boy cross the yard coming towards the main house. Wet fog hung over the grass and the air was thick and grey. The boy's footsteps startled a pair of quail and they fled for the safety of the sky with an eruption of beating wings and alarming cries. The boy continued on without even turning his head. "He's a right steady lad," Mason said. "I cannot see the problem you're having with him." Mr. Parsons turned from the window and faced Mason. The caretaker, tall and lean, stood at the door, not wanting to enter further into the elegant room with his muddy boots. His hands, never idle, clenched and twisted his ratty brown flat-cap as he waited for the interview to play out. "Not a problem," Mr. Parsons replied. "Not necessarily. I'm just not sure he's right for the job of butcher." "Oh aye? Well and you told me to take Harrison off that work. Now Barrett. I canno' do everything around here, sir." Mr. Parsons patted the air with his hand. "Of course not, Mason," he said. "But - I do wish you'd sit down." "All the same sir, I'd rather not have to take your carpets up again." Mason lifted one foot to show the condition of his boots. "Yes, okay." Mr. Parsons said. "Here now - the gist of it is, I saw that Barrett boy preparing a hog the other day and something about the way he.... Well, something about the.... Damnit, Mason, it gave me the heebies the way that boy killed the poor beast!" "Aye?" Mason almost dropped his hat. "I've never seen him be anything but proper and respectful around the tools and animals. What are you on about?" "Just that - proper and respectful and absolutely without emotion! Why, he didn't hesitate or flinch.... He was like a bloody machine that boy. Like a heartless robot. We'd do just as well to send our stock to the slaughterhouse and have that pneumatic hammer device do our work for us." Mason did take a step into the room then, putting a moist size eleven print on the oriental rug. "Oh come now Prissy, if that's not the living end!" In using Mr. Parsons' old nickname from their school-boy days, Mason had stripped away all veneer of employer/employee and the two men were once again chums swapping stories in the yard. "Ah but, Ziggy, have you watched his eyes when he delivers the killing strike?" Mr. Parsons put both hands on his desk and leaned forward, whispering for effect. "Absolutely cold. Like a winter's blow." Mason counted off on his fingers; "First you tell me to take Harrison off because you say he liked killing too much; now you want me to put off Barrett because he doesn't shed a tear over the wee beasties? Maybe you would like a little orphan Lord Byron around the place for these chores, what?" "Oh you yourself called Harrison a psychopath," Mr. Parsons countered. "And I'm not saying I want a queen in the shed, but.... I just didn't like Barrett's eyes. His eyes, Ziggy, gave me such a chill." Mason sighed and rocked back on his heels. "Well then, what have you? None of the other older boys volunteered. Should I force them one by one? You can stand there and watch their peepers in turn?" "Don't be ridiculous. Look here, I've summoned the Barrett boy this morning for a chat - might be I can sound him out and see if I'm just being an old lady about the whole thing." "Right you are. I'm telling you, the boy is sound as houses." "But I want you here during." "Oh for...," Mason stomped across the carpet, aggressively spattering mud, took a chair and dragged it around the desk to Mr. Parsons' side. Once seated, he motioned for Mr. Parsons to 'get on with it' and the headmaster used the intercom to direct his secretary to show the boy in. *** Fifteen years old with brown hair, brown eyes, and a trim physique, Barrett entered the room, respectfully took off his cap, and closed the door softly behind him. He remained standing and silent until spoken to. "Mr. Barrett," Mr. Parsons greeted him. "Do come in. Have a seat." Barrett nodded, hesitated a moment before stepping on the carpet, but quickly decided against making a scene and stepped lightly to the chair. "Will you take some tea then?" Mr. Parsons asked. "Thank you, no sir," Barrett replied. "I've already had my cup for the day." "Very good." Mr. Parsons leaned back in his chair and tented his fingers under his chin. He hemmed and hawed for a while, searching for the right words. "You like the butcher work then?" an exasperated Mason took over. "Killing the chicks and pigs and whatnot?" Barrett looked from one man to another then tilted his head in confusion. "Sir?" "Killing the animals? You like it then? The blood and guts and all the...," Mason made circles with his hands. "Killing?" "Well, no sir. I don't necessarily like it or dis-like it," Barrett answered. "It's me job. Have I made a mistake?" Mason looked at Mr. Parsons who gave him a quick, disapproving scowl then turned his attention to the boy. "No, Mr. Barrett. No mistake was made," Mr. Parsons said in a calming voice. "We just like to check up on our boys - make sure everything is coming along nicely. So you enjoy being the class butcher, then?" "Sir, it's like I told Mason - Mr. Mason - here. It's me job. I guess I'm not sure if I should like it or not - are you supposed to like work? I mean, isn't it mostly for necessity?" Mason made an approving sound and again shot Mr. Parsons' a look. "Indeed," Mr. Parsons said. "That is unfortunately how it does turn out for many people. Some, however, do like their jobs, don't they Mr. Mason?" Now the groundskeeper openly laughed. Barrett's lips twitched, uncertain how to react. "So you would like to be a butcher, perhaps?" Mr. Parsons continued. "When you grow up?" Barrett shook his head. "It wouldn't be me first choice sir. No disrespect." "None taken. So why did you volunteer for the job, if I may ask?" "Well sir," Barrett looked at his shoes and rubbed the back of his neck. "The other boys weren't at all keen on it, and Harrison...." "The less about him the better," Mason interrupted, "But go on." "Yes sir. So since none of the other boys were stepping up, I thought it to be my duty - as the oldest - to set the example. Besides, Mr. Mason, it's like as you always tell us, they can take everything away - our parents, our homes - but they can't take away what we learn. I may not want to be a butcher when I grow up, but at least now I can be if I have to." That was enough for Mason who came out of his chair, applauding. "Very true, Lord Master Barrett! Walk with me back to the quarters and we'll see if we can't find some iron to mend those gates, what? If, of course, Master Parsons is quite done?"

Mr. Parsons rose slightly from his chair, "Indeed, yes. Thank you Mr. Barrett. It was a lovely chat."

Mason put his hand on the boy's shoulder as they left Mr. Parsons' office.

***

Barrett watched the pig from the bench where he sat pulling on mud-boots. Nothing special, this one. Rather ordinary. Barrett caught the animal's eyes and continued to be unimpressed. Not much there.

Still, you never know until the kill.

It was the cock that first turned him on - Barrett repressed a smile thinking about it, even at the language it called up in his mind (clever that, cock turned him on. Heh.) But so true - the rooster Mason had told him to prepare when he first volunteered for the butcher work.

"That ruddy ol' cock's done for this time," Mason had said, rubbing the blood away from his knee where the bird had attacked him, using sharp claws to tear pants and skin. "You take that bloody fowl out back and have his bloody head off now. Well suffer through his tough ol' meat for one night's stew, I imagine."

And that was the first time Barrett felt the transfer through death. As soon as he'd successfully corralled, caught, and snapped that rooster's neck, Barrett's legs responded with a surge of power. It was all he could do to restrain himself from leaping over the fences and kicking the sun out of the sky.

However, later that day, on the soccer field, Barrett scored ten points without passing the ball once. At the conclusion of the game, he celebrated by kicking the ball so hard it sailed right over the hedges and so far into the woods it took an hour just to find it.

See, he'd gained the cock's legs when he'd taken that cock's life. It didn't last forever, only a few days, but it clued him into the transfer through death: the best trait of any living animal - speed, strength, cunning - could be Barrett's as long as that animal died by his hand.

It was a unique gift, an unprecedented power, and he'd almost blown it by running his mouth. Barrett had been trying to find a way to explain what had happened to the other boys at the home when Mason called him back to the shed.

It was time to prove himself, Mason had said. It was time to bring down a hog.

The beast was a grand old Mister. Fat and indolent. Formerly a stud, now waning in energy and prone to illness. Mason had decide it was time use the animal for its ultimate purpose.

Barrett listened to Mason's instructions, nodded as the caretaker pantomimed the act, but all the while kept his eyes locked with the massive pig's.

Those eyes, the pig's eyes, were fathomless. Deep and brown. You could get lost in them, and Barrett did. He imagined the pig had a voice; he heard it in his head.

"Use it wisely," the pig said.

Then, when Barrett brought the hammer down just so at the just right place at the back of the pig's head, a sudden surge of awareness washed over him like a waterfall.

It had been an exceedingly clever animal; that pig.

Barrett knew then that he had to keep his secret. He mustn't ever again show off around the other boys. He must be patient. Eventually he would be free from this orphanage and, once out, he would be loose in a world of animals with much more to offer than strong thighs and keen eyes.

You watch the telly and see the man who knows all about money. Three minutes with your fingers around his fat throat and that knowledge becomes yours. Here's a bloke with two gorgeous ladies; one on each arm. He whispers in their ears at turns and they laugh and hug him closer. A quick hammer blow to his head and now you have those whispered words in your own mouth. What's this? Some dandy with a guitar preening about a stage singing while the entire world falls at his feet in adoration and supplication. A quick blade across his neck and those fingers, that voice, are yours.

Clever and patient, was the pig. Use it wisely.

And so Barrett did; particularly the patience. That morning, for instance, with those geezers going on about him being a butcher. A quick assessment of the situation and Barrett knew he was in jeopardy; they were thinking of taking him off the job. At that point, Barrett had two choices - kill them both take their powers and escape, or shine them on and leave very soon on solid footing.

Well now what powers then? As far as Barrett could see the headmaster's best trait was being a mincing toad and whereas he wouldn't have minded taking Mason's expert craftsmanship, that certainly wasn't worth risking even more imprisonment than he'd already suffered at this Goddamned orphanage.

So he'd been clever. He'd said what they wanted to hear. And now he was back in the shed, ready to swing the hammer again.

Swing the hammer and see what happens.

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Blood Lad Characters : Everything You Need To Know

Everyone has their favorite Blood Lad characters, and everyone has their least favorites. Whether you love the hotheaded Staz or the adorable Bel Hydra, this list has both. Here are the Top 10 Blood Lad Best Characters! Top 10 Blood Lad Characters 1. STAZ He is the protagonist in the Eastern District demon realm. Staz is a brave and stubborn man by nature. He is also willing to do whatever it takes to achieve his goals. He is not afraid of his rivals, but he is loved by his friends. The demon world revered him and admired him. A demon named Staz can paralyze an enemy and then sucking their power to crush their hearts. He was able to recover quickly from injuries, making him seem invincible. Staz will change your perception of Okatu. Staz is obsessed by Okatu (Japanese Culture). He spends his days dreaming about the human condition and studying manga and anime. His henchmen, who were sent to manage the district's affairs, treat him with contempt. Fuyumi is saved by him. Braz, his brother was also aware that he had these abilities. He knew the danger and sealed it using a small pellet. May Also Like : Blood Lad Season 2 Release Date : Everything You Need To Know 2. FUYUMI Fuyumi, a high school student in the Human world, is Fuyumi. A portal also accidentally allows her to enter the demon world. Futhermore she seems innocent and naive but has no idea of the demon realm. Staz meets her there and they form an intense bond. Also, Staz is fascinated with the human world. Staz loves and protects her. He sees her as a way to discover more about the human condition. Staz was fighting an invading demonic, but she is attacked by a man-eating herb. She transforms into a ghost to save herself from being dematerialized and becomes dependent on Staz. Staz is upset at this and promises to bring her back to human form and to accompany her on a journey towards civilized humanity. Fuyumi secretly has a relationship to Bell Hydra. Legend has it that the two sisters were in a cross-dimensional relationship. Bell discovers later that she was unaware of this. Only a handful of times were they in conflict. Also read: Black Hair anime Girl - Our top 45 3. BELL-HYDRA She is a powerful sorceress and well-known for her spatial magical abilities. She is able to manipulate both time and space. It is also a trademark of her ability to spy on other parts and share information. Fuyumi trusted her and did the right thing. Fuyumi is approached by Staz, who offers to help her. She does all she can. Staz has an intimate relationship and confesses to her while she works with him. Fuyumi is determined and determined to catch and punish the thief. This thief enabled Fuyumi to reach the demon realm. She initially thought it was Staz. She later discovered it was Akim. It is important to recall that Fuyumi wasn't a fan of Akim at first. This was only later that she realized and promised to protect her. May Also Like : Blonde Hair Anime girl : Our Top 45 4. WOLF Wolf is close friends with Staz and once was a rival. He was expelled from Acropolis for his "impure Blood". He was a fierce fighter and had a lot of willpower to be a werewolf. When he was excited, his snout resembled that of a Wolf. Fuyumi, Staz and his companions have him as their guide. He is also a friend and friend who cares, despite his rough exterior. Staz shares this characteristic. He is a friend who risks his reputation and lives. He feels also cheated and unhappiness. 5. Braz D Blood The Blood Family's oldest child, and brother to Staz & Liz. Braz's goal is to defeat the king of Demon World who are also the murderer his father, Wolf Daddy. 6. Papradon Akim Akimu Papladon is an artificial demon (dubbed "Artificial Demon No.9" ) who was delivered to Franken Stein to have experiments performed on him. He used to be known simply as Pantomime when he was alive as a demon, though it's hinted that he plays a pivotal role in Braz's overlying desire to overthrow King Wolf. Akimu is a phantom presence, which means the body he is shown with is simply a "decoration", while the phantom manipulates the body parts through magic. 7. Liz T Blood Liz Tiffany Blood is the youngest child of the Blood Family. Also, Liz is in charge of keeping order in Hell and determines the guilt or innocence of an individual and subsequently delivers a deserving punishment. She initially despised Staz and disowned him as her sibling due to the amount of attention that he received from their elder brother, Braz, in comparison to herself. Also Read : Red Hair Anime Girl : Our Top 40+ Read the full article

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