#But I’m the last person I can judge anybody when he comes to hijab and dressing modestly cause I don’t

[bgwalthermart]

Skam — the Norwegian Drama that made be even more open-minded.

Skam — the Norwegian Drama that made be even more open-minded.

“Islam says what it always say. That all the people in this world are equal and that no person should be talked about behind their back, violated, judged or ridiculed. So if you hear anybody use religion to legitimise their hate, then don’t listen to them. Because hate does not come from religion, it comes from fear.” — Sana Bakkoush to Isak Valtersen

This. This drama is simply one of a kind. And I absolutely loved it. All 4 seasons. And every one of its’ episode. This drama was filmed in Norway and was only well-knowed in the Nordic countries until season 3, where it exploded into the international stage. For such a drama intended to young viewers, it has very deep contents which revolves around: identity, feminism, rape, belonging, self-confidence, homosexuality, mental illness, the Islamic religion, cyber-bullying, and forbidden love — all in 4 seasons of approximately 10–11 episodes each. As a teenager myself, I can relate so much to the main characters in all of the seasons. Literally.

Disclaimer: Possible spoilers ahead!

The 1st season revolves around Eva. And I have to admit that I didn’t really like her character. She was way too indecisive, controlling, insecure, and lonely. Additionally, she was a bit more slutty (yes) in the future seasons, which made me dislike her quite a bit. But, I realized. That…that I carry all of those qualities, too (except for the slutty part, no). She was easily the one I empathized with the most out of all the main characters. Eva was the epitome of a teenager. Her parents are usually not there with her, and when they are, there usually are events that causes misunderstandings between her and them. Her friends, well her old friends weren’t there anymore. She chosed her loved guy over her friends, which her friends dumped her for because they also liked him. They weren’t understanding to her. But the guy chose her, not them. She was then alone, then and there.

Fortunately for her, she found friends soon enough. Real friends. Friends that helped her know who she really is. Friends that helped her during her times of trouble. And friends, that she, too, will help in the future. In her season, I saw many events that were caused by two reasons.

Lack of communication. Lack of trust.

I learned that communication is vital. Whether it be to your friends, families, or your partner. You shouldn’t hide something. You should always ask when you doubt something. And most of all, you should trust your loved ones. And ask your loved ones to trust you, too. Trust is vital. And the world would be damned, if people would have absolutely no trust to other people.

“What is this bullshit about ‘what kind of person’ I am? Maybe I’m someone who gives up?! I don’t know! Why would I know what kind of person I am? Everyone is like, “What kind of person are you? You need to know who you are!” What a fucking cliche!”

Season 2 comes with the feminist, social justice warrior, individualist, and progressive: Noora. She is by far, my most favorite character in the series. As a feminist, individualist, and fellow progressive, I view her as my political sister. She also has the best quotes (on par with Sana, in my opinion) in the series. And the burns, oh dear. Just look at this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nfnMnkRk9Ek

Don’t mess with Noora. Ever. But that’s just a façade. Only in the outside is she really cold. In the inside, she is very soft, insecure, brash, lonely, and irrational. Much like Eva, except she doesn’t show it. This becomes self-evident once she starts crushing on William. Eventually she accepts his love. And they turn out to be right for each other. But not without problems. This series has arguably the heaviest crime out of all the other series. Rape. Or rather, the thought of having been sexually violated. Even worse, the thought of having been sexually violated by her lover’s brother.

The most impressive thing about it is how she handled it. And how she trusted her friends to tell it to them, and how they helped her overcome it. In the end she wasn’t really sexually assaulted. And she also absolutely destroyed William’s brother. AND IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE ENCOUNTER YET, YOU WOULD SO LOVE THE REACTION ON HIS FACE. Totally.

“People experience horrible things everyday, and they still manage to be nice to others. Being an asshole is not something you’re born with, or something you become. It’s a choice.” — Noora to William

“Girls who call other girls slut have 90% more chance to get Chlamydia.” — Noora to Emma

“It’s interesting that you who describe yourself as a feminist, is calling others ‘slutty’. Chris doesn’t have that reputation because guys don’t go around calling other guys ‘sluts’. So if you think it’s unfair, you have to stop calling girls ‘sluts’.” — Noora to Vilde

“I don’t even know your name.” — Noora

“Call me what you want.” — William

“Yeah, but then…Then I choose to call you ‘asshole’.” — Noora to William

She also supported Sana in season 4 with Yousef a.k.a second best couple (next one is the best couple, for me anyways) and was literally fangirling over them. She’s definitely ‘best-girl’ — on par with Sana!

The 3rd season. I absolutely adored it. Isak and Even are definitely the best couple in the series. Their chemistry is off the charts. I absolutely loved every bit of them. As what what had made Skam famous, Isak is a homosexual. And Isak and Even are a homosexual couple. The story pretty much revolves around Isak’s coming out problems, Isak and Even’s relationship, and Even’s mental illness. I then started thinking. Isn’t Norway one of the most progressive countries when it comes to homosexuals? If so, then why is Isak having problems to come out? Well it seems that that stereotype doesn’t apply to every family living in progressive countries. You could have an accepting family and live in the Philippines (a country where homosexuality is merely tolerated, not so much accepted). And, you could live in Norway (a pioneer country in homosexual rights) and have a not-so-accepting family. And that’s exactly what happened to Isak.

Isak has a die-hard Christian-Catholic mother who sends him bible passages everyday via SMS about how homosexuality is a sin and how they will burn in hell. His father is more accepting, but he isn’t that much close to him either, because of the fact that his father seperated with his mother and thus caused the whole family to collapse. And as such, he has problems coming out to his friends and his school, too. Because of his problems with his family, he thinks that people would distance themselves from him once he comes out, so he stays in the closet and pretends to be straight by hooking up with women.

But that was not the case.

It was merely in his head; the fear of being rejected. I even laughed at the reaction of Jonas when Isak confessed to him that he was gay. He merely shrugged it off like it was normal. Well, it’s Norway after all, nothing unusual.

Now to the next topic. I won’t beat around the bush. Isak and Even ARE SO SWEET TOGETHER. They care for each other, they understand each other, they’re good for each other, and most of all, they love each other. And as the series progresses, they will find out more about each other — more about what they don’t want each other to find out — Isak having family problems and the fact that he hadn’t come out in school, yet; as well as the fact that he’s slowly becoming jealous of Even’s ex-girlfriend, and the fact that Even is bipolar.

But love… — this show thought me that if there’s one thing that could bypass anything — it’s love.

Isak and Even — Minute by minute…

Last, but not the least…

Obviously. The popular muslim girl living in a 90% non-religious country. She is easily the best girl in the series. Tough, and doesn’t take without giving back. Like Noora, she’s tough only on the outside, but actually quite soft in the inside. When it comes to friends, family, or loved ones. I absolutely sympathized with her, too. Being a muslim is Norway is not tough. Like in many european countries, there’s a lot of prejudice on being a muslim, especially a muslim woman since they’re more visible because of the fact that most of them wear the Hijab and some of them wear the Niqab. Most western europeans see ‘that’ as them being forced to wear it, rather than a choice (the Niqab and Burqa are debatable, though).

“Tough.”

But soft. At the same time.

What I absolutely liked about her are three things:

1.) Dedicated and serious about her religion, but not to the point of extremism. She doesn’t take every word of the Qu‘ran literally (such as homosexuality), but instead takes the values in it. She also doesn’t let her religion affect her social life as she has many Norwegian friends — most of whom have a religion (and tastes — such as drinking alcohol and hooking up) vastly antithesis from hers.

2.) A real friend. And a friend that doesn’t judge. And a friend ready to defend you. She’s all three of that. She’s one of the best of friends you could have.

3.) She isn’t perfect. And that’s what makes me relate to her. The Sana that always burns those who offend her or her friends; the Sana that has perfect grades and want to be a medical doctor in the future; the Sana that has all the wise teachings and quotes for her friends — that’s just all a piece of her. But as we progress in the series, we can see a different Sana — an insecure one, a confused, tired, and heartbroken one.

“War doesn’t start with violence. It starts with misunderstandings and prejudice.” — Sana to Noora

And of course a season can’t be finished without love. I found Yousef’s and Sana’s love story a bit rushed, and it was definitely a weak point in the series. But they were definitely still really sweet with each other.

Lessons:

I absolutely admired how the five friends managed to still be friends by the end of the series. They managed to overcome tough times — but that’s what friends are for, are they not? They’re supposed to be there for you during tough times whether it involves them or not. And if there’s one thing this series absolutely thought me, it’s that friends matter. Real ones. A lot.

Least to say, the main characters weren’t the only one that provided lessons. The supporting characters were special, too.

With Eskild about pride and that it’s not only about celebrating the present, but also the past and the future.

Or William with his obsession with Noora because he knows she loves him. And in the end, dedication truly does get what you want.

I learned a lot.

Not only experiences and funny moments. But also virtues and values that I may apply in real life.

Thank you, Skam — for opening not only my mind, but also my heart.

End.