#But you know how it goes - at first it's just a fun initial silly/spooky idea and then my brain clicks back on and Oh No This Is A Thing lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

puerifungorum · 6 months

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silly vampire movie concept with my ocs <3

(to clarify. what i mean is that i am jettisoning all the tragic backstories (we do not have the time or budget for those. they can be vaguely implied.) and trashing all my worldbuilding and lore. this is based on vibes and tropes and does not and should not make sense. i'm not assigning characters roles based on translations of what they've actually got going on, i'm assigning characters roles based on what would be fun. we're using as lore what i vaguely assume old-timey vampire movies to have as their lore.)

anyway. setting! this should be vaguely 1800s or vaguely 1930s with perhaps 1950s 1960s 1970s sensibilities? or all at once. but no modern technology! this is the idea of a campy vampire movie as it exists in my head (have not watched many vampire movies) (have watched dracula 1931) (have looked at still photos of other vampire movies). the setting is vaguely eastern european. if parts of it are not in eastern europe they can be in england. various characters can be in flowy white dresses.

you should imagine this in black and white.

Alianora is a vampire hunter! (not an angel in this.) She's very noble and sincere and brave and all that. At like, the very start of the movie or something, her dear friend Anselm dies due to a vampire’s predations! She’s mourning him from then on, but, like, not visibly in a hysterical grief way, in a solemn stoic way.

If it’s Scarlet who kills him, Alianora can kill Scarlet right after and that’s my explanation as to what Scarlet’s doing in this. get staked idiot.

it might not make sense for scarlet to be the one to kill him based on the idea of like. vampires dying if you kill their sire. whatever i don't care moving on

So Alianora goes on. Vampire-hunting and whatnot. There’s a new vampire she’s hunting, who will turn out to live in a spooky castle! I’m going to say it’s Vianna for now. Helpful local maiden Judith is helpful and framed narratively as the love interest. There’s subtext that Alianora is interested in her as a way of displacing her grief over Anselm dying - trying to replace him with another emotional attachment/bond, attracted to qualities Judith shares with Anselm (personality-wise. They don’t look much alike).

initially it should not be clear whether Vianna is a vampire or just like. a weirdo

Shock and horror! Anselm has joined the legions of the undead! Will Alianora find the fortitude to free him of his curse and save his soul by killing him? Or will she succumb to the awful lure of the vampire herself?

Anselm btw is filled with resentment toward her for letting him die. because what is Anselm if not animated by wrath. He wants to turn her into a vampire as well (she has to stay with him as recompense for his own death) and if she refuses or hesitates he will go into a rage and try to kill her. (he's also mad at her for the romance with judith. he's barely even cold in his grave!! how little is he worth that he can be replaced so quickly! die!!!!!!)

At some point - either when she first finds out he’s become a vampire or right before she slays him - she does catch him waking up from his coffin.

it should not be clear if there's anything romantic going on between them before he dies. after he dies they're definitely acting romantically, but they should only refer to each other pre-death as "dear friend" and similar things - the romantic bit should be ambiguous whether it's based on an actual relationship or typical vampire seduction tactics. they should never kiss during the whole movie. they do get to almost kiss. it has to be weirdly charged when she's trying to kill him

(symbolically like her desire for him can be that he's the manifestation of her guilt and grief and unfulfilled love, but he's only a warped version devoid of the actual person she's missing - etc etc you know the drill. vampires are fun)

Judith meanwhile has her own gay little plotline going on with Vianna.

It’s a love triangle! Will she choose the dashing vampire hunter who increasingly seems to only be using her as a replacement for a lost love, or the eerie and charismatic vampire who offers her immortality and a share in the Evil Plan (world domination à la Dracula)???

she's initially interested in Alianora because she's tragic and haunted. after some point Judith does realize that maybe "being sad about someone else" isn't really what she wants in a romantic partner. hm. (this bit should be subtextual)

Judith and Vianna also don't ever kiss. sorry Judith. they do get in some lust-filled gazes and they do get to lingeringly touch hands and Judith does get to be sexily menaced.

how are Anselm and Vianna connected? haven't figured that out. anyway

At the end of the movie Alianora kills Anselm and either she kills Vianna with Judith’s help or Judith kills Vianna. And then they have an obligatory romantic moment. (they are allowed to kiss.) This is what tvtropes.org calls an esoteric happy ending i think

i guess the ending could be like "oh nora's vanquished her personal demons of guilt and grief and righted her failing by saving her new love interest... judith's rejecting the lure of selfishness at the cost of other people...." but it should be done in a way where it doesn't FEEL like that's the takeaway. oh ok the leads are now in an unhappy romantic relationship where they're both pining for other people and had to kill the person they actually wanted. what was the point of this, you should come away asking.

more pictures :)

#oc tag #oc tag: a1+a2 #oc tag: j + v #oc tag: a1 + j #oc tag: a1 #oc tag: a2 #oc tag: v #oc tag: j

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that-blue-vault-dweller · 3 years

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What if sole narrated and did sound effects to everything them and their companions did. They would also be a big drama queen in a goofy way. Like if they went into a spooky place they would say like “ We wandered into the great darkness that swallowed us whole. We jumped at every shadow and noise not knowing what awaits us!!” They then scream and grasp onto their companion for no reason and tearfully explain that them and Nate/Nora used to joke about this all the time. BTW I love your blog!!!

This is an absolutely awesome idea, and if it's all good with you, I might even write a oneshot about this at some point. 🥰 And thank you so much!!!! I'm so glad you love my blog! That means so much to hear 🥺💖

Thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy! 💙💛

Cait - Thinks that F!Sole is being absolutely ridiculous. But she goes along with it and just lets F!Sole do her thing, keeping her own thoughts about it to herself. But it does eventually does grow to be very old. However, when F!Sole tells her that she used to do it with her husband, Cait feels absolutely terrible for being annoyed by F!Sole's little habit. She awkwardly tells F!Sole that she didn't know that. Next time that F!Sole starts narrating events, Cait adds in a few of her own narrations in an attempt to play with F!Sole.

Piper - Actually starts doing it with her a little. If they go somewhere creepy that is unsettling them both, they start narrating it as if it is some sort of great horror novel. It ends up scaring them even more but it makes them feel safe in some weird way. Probably because it gives them both vocal reassurance that they're both still there together. When F!Sole eventually explains that her husband used to do this with her, Piper feels her heart clench a bit in her chest. However, Piper feels extremely honored that her best friend values her so much that she would play this special game with her. From then on, whenever F!Sole starts to play the game, Piper feels warm and happy inside and easily pitches in, adding her own narration.

Curie - Is confused, but she thinks it is quite cute despite how unnecessary. She sometimes giggles at the things that F!Sole says and how she narrates. She ultimately just goes along with it, not really questioning the entire process, and finding it to be a sweet quirk of F!Sole's. However, when F!Sole tells her that she used to do this with her husband, Curie is suddenly struck with the deep meaning behind the game. Soon, Curie tries to throw in a few sound effects here and there and narrate a few things as well. However, she is not very good at it. But she is trying her best!

MacCready - Thinks it's silly at first, but he soon finds himself doing it as well. He starts narrating things like they're in a comic book together, and when F!Sole punches people in the jaw, he's somewhere nearby yelling about the Silver Shroud and of course, offering an emphatic "Pow" to narrate her great takedown. When she tells him that she and her husband did this, he feels a little awkward doing it with her still. However, he knows she must want to do it with him if she's doing it so much around him. Therefore, they both keep narrating their comic book journey.

Deacon - Absolutely loves it, and sometimes even initiates it himself. Especially when they happen to be paired together for missions with Glory. They both team up together to really annoy the poor synth. She is ready to chop off her own ears by the time they are through with the mission because the combination of Deacon and F!Sole is way more irritation than any normal human can handle. When F!Sole finally explains that she and her husband played this game together, he takes it pretty well, somehow managing to turn the entire admission into something much more lighthearted.

Codsworth - Eagerly jumps in with her and narrates as well. He knows the significance of this game already, and she does not even have to tell him about it. However, they end up talking about it together at some point, and he tells her that while he is definitely not at sir's level of mastery, he will do his best to efficiently play the game with her.

Hancock - Usually has to get high to really want to do it with her. However, if he can annoy someone with her, he will eagerly play the game with or without chems in his system. He thinks it's way cuter when she does it, and he sometimes proceeds to narrate what F!Sole is doing while looking at things through a very inappropriate lens making comments about her figure or something. When she eventually tells him that she did this with her husband, he is thrown off. From then on, he tries to pitch in with her game a little more often.

Danse - Finds this game absolutely and completely preposterous and tells her so in somewhat gentler words. It normally aggravates him a little when she starts doing it. However, after he finds out that she did this with her husband, he feels quite bad about telling her to stop. So he starts throwing in his own narrations very, very occasionally and only if it is just the two of them. Of course, he's not too good at it since he sounds like he is reciting events from a history textbook or an encyclopedia.

Preston - Does not really know what to think. It is the strangest thing he's heard anyone do in a while, but he just shrugs it off and decides to enjoy it. Sometimes when she narrates, it legitimately makes him laugh, and she seems very pleased when that occurs. When she tells him that she and her husband did this game, he feels sad for her. After that, as he laughs at her narrations, he always remembers that this game is a way to keep her husband's memory alive.

Valentine - Is confused by it at first, but he soon finds it extremely adorable, and he just happily listens to her narrating. It seems to make her happy, so he does not worry about anything else. If something can bring a little light in her life, then he is perfectly content. When she admits that it was an activity her and her husband did, he feels his heart ache a little. From then on, he takes an even greater enjoyment in hearing her, knowing that she is entrusting him with a valuable piece of her past life.

X6-88 - Is bewildered and at first begins to question if she needs some sort of help. He soon enough asks if she is alright and if she is feeling well. She soon replies that yes, she is feeling well and this was just something that she and her husband did. He immediately feels somewhere between relieved and very awkward. After that, he just lets her do her thing, and he keeps his thoughts to himself. However, at some point afterward, he himself accidentally ends up making a sound effect in that very monotone manner. He is terribly humiliated, but she seems absolutely thrilled with it. So he finds that he is not quite so embarrassed anymore.

Dogmeat - Loves the sound of her voice, so he is absolutely thrilled about her playing this game. He loves to hear her speak to him, and whenever she starts making sound effects or narrating, he sometimes barks to add to the fun. He always is looking at her when she does it, and he doesn't stop keeping his attentions on her. This is a wonderful game as far as he's concerned.

Strong - Is extremely disoriented when she firsts starts it, but he soon grows angry and irritated by it. He tells her that she needs to be quieter and quit saying weird things about what they're doing. He also says she needs to stop making those weird noises. It does not really matter to him that she used to do it with her husband. He just thinks she needs to stop.

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rokutouxei · 3 years

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the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

ikemen vampire: temptation through the dark theo van gogh / mc | T | [ ao3 link in bio ]

The challenge seemed pretty simple: to try to befriend the university bookshop’s most sour employee, Theo van Gogh. As a literature major with a boatload of book recommendations on her back, it ought to be a simple task indeed. But as she uncovers what lies between Theo’s pages, the more she finds it harder to become closer to him without having to put the feeling directly into words. What can she learn from Theo about what it means to stay—and how can she teach Theo about what it means to let go? | written for ikevamp big bang 2020!

[ masterpost for all chapters ]

CHAPTER 8 OF 22

And how impossible it still is: to train the heart to sit. - "The Kindest Thing She Almost Did", Blythe Baird

The College of Arts’ student council has rotating schedules on who gets to organize the university-famous Halloween party. This year, it was the Literature Department and the Film Department that paired up to choose a theme, decorate, and make sure the party is getting smoothly—and the very specific, not-required but entirely funny, theme this year was “Film or Book that you’d love to be turned spooky, but isn’t exactly spooky.”

This is why she thought of coming in as characters from the Night Circus. The black and white stripes matched with red really gives off a very Halloween vibe to begin with, but all the circus-y magic that goes on in the book itself also makes it very viable for the spooky vibes.

She’s now standing in front of the College of Arts’ event hall, where the event is set to happen. She tugs at the locks of hair dangling at the side of her face, the ones she couldn't get to obey her planned updo, even with all the bobby pins.

There's something about scavenging a costume on your own that is so nerve-wracking. There's something more when you're portraying a character from a book someone introduced to you. It feels like it's a duty to get it right. She couldn’t find any entirely matching dresses in the thrift stores she went to, so this was the best she could do: some sort of modern but 1890s-inspired fortune teller mash-up of a costume. The dress was fashioned out of this dizzying deep blue-black velvet fabric, with little speckles of silver glitter like stars across it; she wore a striped black and white petticoat underneath it to give it some volume since the dress ended around the knees. She’d re-sewn the sleeves and the neckline to be similar to that of the era, revealing a nice V along her back and a nice, wide boat collar. Then, she’s put on a small, decorative hat with some red flowers on the corner of her head, and then draped a sheer black scarf with little rosy red designs on the ends over her shoulders. Then she put on some knee-high lace-up boots to add a little grunge to the entire attire. Lastly, she had a few Rider-Waite tarot cards in her pocket (The Chariot and Temperance) just for the vibe of it.

(All this costume preparation was really to wind herself down after submitting her initial requirements to the scholarship selection committee earlier that week.)

Just as she begins to spiral in her thoughts, “Sorry I’m late,” she hears Theo’s familiar voice call out, and she looks up from staring at her shoes and gasps out loud.

Theo’s wearing his hair a little curlier than usual, a lightly-tinted pair of green contacts on his eyes and—as he’s promised—a well-tailored suit, in black and white and red, to suit the general aesthetic of the circus itself. She figured he would come in a suit, but—she wasn’t expecting him to take the extra effort with the hair and the eyes, either. She could even see the little silhouette of a journal peeking from underneath his jacket—he’s obviously prepared even to the smallest details! Maybe, maybe he does look like the Marco in her head. Just a little. Maybe if his hair was darker. She finds herself staring at him for a ridiculous amount of time, so much so that he has to cough to get her attention again.

"The green eyes look lovely on you," she comments softly, hand curling up to gently press his finger at his cheekbone near instinctively, allowing her to observe his eyes better. Theo feels himself flinch in surprise, but he does not pull back.

"Thank you, grey-green was a very specific color."

She nods. "I do prefer your usual blue though." Her hand falls back to her side. "Too bad I can't magic it back?"

"You see it blue all the time. Stop complaining when this was your idea," Theo says, but he offers his arm anyway.

"So sour," she pouts. "How unbecoming of you, Mister Alisdair," she says, as she slides her arm into his.

Theo only snorts; he does not hide the half-smirk. "Only to match you, Miss Martin."

The event hall is lavishly decorated in some sort of spooky, old vampire mansion vibes, with all the matching spiders and fake candles. It is a little silly to see the DJ on the far end of the hall, with his set-up on top of what seemed like a desk older from three centuries ago. The caterers set up the food on a buffet table—also beautifully decorated, how many fine arts majors did the production team get to bully into helping them out?—to get it ready before dinner at six.

But the bar—the bar is open.

“Do you drink?” she asks casually, already one foot towards the bar.

He takes a nervous gulp she pretends not to notice. “Not a lot,” he answers.

“Then a glass will be alright. I told Arthur we’d meet at the bar. Come on!”

Because her college stupidly attempts to seem puritan, official drink menus are not allowed to actually say out loud that they contain hard liquor, so instead have really creative names. This time, they are references to different, random books and films, with fine-print descriptions of what it is. She orders a glass of Pride and Prejudice and Theo gets a serving of Kafka on the Shore. Both of them had just received their drinks when her phone begins to ring, and with a short excuse me she heads to a quieter part of the room and answers the call.

“Dazai?”

“Hello, Toshiko-san. I’m waiting outside the hall, but you’ve entirely forgotten that I haven’t actually met who I’m bringing in.”

Oh! “Well, I told him to wait on a stone bench there… Dark blue-ish hair, blue eyes, a mole on the side of his lip? He responds to ‘Arthur’.”

“‘Responds?’ Are your bookstore friends all a bunch of dogs?”

“Well, this drools at the sight of meat,” you say, unapologetically. “I didn’t see him there yet when I was still out, but—”

She hears a shuffle from the other side of the line, and Arthur’s familiar voice through the phone, a small “Hello, could you be Dazai?” and her friend’s very, very meaningful pause—she can almost see Dazai looking Arthur up and down—before he answers, “Yes, and you must be Arthur.”

The phone call ends and she grins for only a half a moment before realizing what she’d done.

She walks ever so slowly back to the bar, letting it sink in. But once she’s got her glass in her hand, she downs it in one go, surprising both the bartender and Theo. She shakes her head and then sits back down on the stool, half-laughing.

“Something happen?” Theo asks.

She groans. “I may have made a mistake with Arthur.”

Theo takes a sip of his drink, just the littlest bit smug. “Everything is a mistake if Arthur is involved.”

“I didn’t think he’d—”

“Hello, lovebirds,” says the devil, Arthur coming up behind them with—

With Dazai glued to his hip.

She’s known Dazai for a few years at this point, and because they’ve known each other for so long, there are little things she knows Dazai does that may not seem obvious to the onlooker.

First: Dazai is not fond of touching, but he is rather great at tolerating it. It usually takes a few months before Dazai is fine with being touched by someone. Even she took around half a year before Dazai would allow her to hug him freely. When he’s being touched by someone he does not particularly like, he clenches his hands and fits them into his pockets, so it’s not as noticeable.

Observer’s note: Arthur’s got his hand around Dazai’s waist. Dazai’s hands are wide open, resting at his hip.

Second: Dazai is also good at having his practiced smile. He says he practices it in the mirror, did it every day for a year until it became natural to him; it looks genuine and otherwise believable, that is, if you haven’t seen his actual smile. And even if you have, sometimes it’s still hard to tell. His actual, genuine smile, that goes up to his eyes, crinkling the sides of it, and he flushes sometimes too; it’s so wide it reveals the little dimple on his cheek.

Observer’s note: Dazai’s dimple is very, very visible right now.

Third: Dazai has this thing where the longer he considers a person, the less he becomes attracted to them, for some reason, even if the extended thinking time only makes him feel like they’re a better match by the second. Dazai is only genuinely, passionately, instantly attracted to people he knows will pose him some sort of danger and excitement.

Observer’s note: Dazai met Arthur today.

She bites back the groan that’s bubbling out her throat and grins. “Hello, Arthur, Dazai. Having fun?”

“Where’d you been hiding this cutie all this time?” Arthur teases, squeezing Dazai closer to him. “Much fun now that he’s here. I see you’ve started drinking ahead of us.”

“Just a little,” she says. “Shall we find a table?”

The four of them choose a table in the middle of the chaos—Arthur’s suggestion—somewhere midway the bar and buffet. The tables are for six, and the number makes her remember.

“I couldn’t get Isaac to come.”

Dazai shakes his head. “I told you he said he wasn’t interested. Must be working overtime like he usually does.” He nods towards her direction. “Good attempt, though.”

She frowns. “He should really let loose sometimes… I know he’s good at what he does, but a little, one-night-a-year party isn’t going to hurt him is it?”

“Ohoho, what’s this, have another cute friend I have to know?” Arthur interrupts.

Dazai taps Arthur’s nose gently and she wants to vomit. What has she done. “Isaac Newton, a Ph.D. student from the physics department. Too serious for his own good.”

Surprise fills Arthur’s face. “My, isn’t that Newt? Teaches classes sometimes?” She and Dazai nod. “Small world!”

“Next year we’re really finding a way to drag him in,” she says.

To which Dazai laughs, “you won’t be here next year, Toshiko-san.”

There’s a small sliver of silence that settles in between them, just long enough to be felt but not for the conversation to come to an abrupt halt. It makes Theo flinch a little.

“Then it’s up to you guys, isn’t it?” she takes her second glass of literary cocktail—she doesn’t even know what’s in this one, just pointed at the menu, it was titled Wolf Totem—and downs half of it in one go.

“Maybe if a girl came around to bring him, he’d be more persuadable,” Arthur teases, “Look at my chap Theo over here.”

“So you’re Theo, huh?” Dazai purrs. She throws a glare at him that goes ignored. “Nice to finally meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Theo only nods as a response and she takes the chance to get the conversation back in a direction that makes her a little safer from their teasing. “But no, really, Isaac? Coming for a girl? You don’t know him at all, Arthur.”

“Oh, even the toughest guys fall back to romance, don’t they, Theo?”

Theo throws a glare towards Arthur; it is shrugged off as the newly-formed suddenly-a-couple laughs in unison.

Despite the ruckus, the four of them still have some good fun at the party. Arthur Arthur’s non-stop insisting that they play the party games has them rewarded with many things: a stupid award here or there, minuscule amounts of cash that could be used in the future for dine-outs, and even a nice bottle of high-end “water”—it was definitely vodka, the organizers just couldn’t announce it out loud. She and Dazai had to stand up a couple of times to go meet their college-mates in their department, but the four of them stayed mostly together until past dinner—that is until the dance music started to rev up, getting ready for the long night ahead.

“Excuse the two of us, we’re going to do some actual dancing, like people do at parties to have fun,” Arthur says, but his face is already littered in glitter from the poppers and his face is dusted pink from all the alcohol. Obviously, dancing isn’t required to have fun at all. Taking Dazai’s hand like a gentleman, sliding his arm around the other man’s waist, Arthur makes a comical bow to which she makes a face. The two disappear into the crowd of people dancing on the dance floor, and the sight of them so obsessed with each other makes her lean back on her chair to take a sip on her—fifth? Sixth? Ah, who is counting?—nth glass of alcohol.

Wary of being the killjoy, Theo gently asks, “Don’t you want to dance?”

“I mean… you don’t want to, do you?” she asks, facing him properly, glass still in hand. “I just felt like it’d be great to hang out with you here and if you’re not up for dancing…”

“If you want to we should go.”

“I’m not going if you’re forcing yourself to.”

“No, I’m not, so—”

“Theo, sit down!” she says, laughing. The alcohol’s given her skin a beautiful pink flush, and her smiles have turned wider, more relaxed. “It’s okay, I promise. Just sit here and drink your—drink. It’s just nice to have company.”

He nods as she turns back to watching the crowd. A smile still settles on her face as she watches the mass of people dancing and shouting to the music. Theo asks, “Do you always go here with someone?”

She shrugs, taking another sip from her glass. “I came alone the first time, and then the next I went with Dazai. He’s pretty popular—when he’s alone, without anyone slung on him, you know? Lots of people dance with him.”

“And you?”

“Me?” she asks, forehead wrinkling. “I’m normal. I sit and drink until my liver begs me to stop. And then dance until my legs beg me to stop when I’m drunk enough.”

He scoffs, but only in that friendly way of defeated acceptance. “Sounds like fun.”

“So much more fun with you around though,” she asserts, tilting her glass to him. “Cheers?”

“For what?”

And she’s quiet for a moment, before she raises her glass again, saying, “To friendship and literature, of course.”

Theo thinks that’s good enough. They clink their glasses gently and then drink.

For the slightest of moments, Theo considers asking the one question that had been on his mind since she invited him to the party. Preparing the clothes to wear to the event only made his curiosity even stronger, but at the same time, he didn’t feel like he had the right to ask. Theo feels content sitting in his uncertainty, the mystery of it hanging in the air.

But the alcohol has made him a little more courageous.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Shoot!”

“Why didn’t you go as Celia?”

It’s common for a pair of people to attend a costume party in matching outfits with characters that are paired as well. Celia is Marco’s natural pair in the book. Isobel is not. Why didn’t she go as Celia? Theo would not have minded if she did. Celia was fiery and romantic and could see through Marco’s every disguise.

And Isobel longed and longed and never got what she wanted.

“I kind of felt for Isobel, you know?” she answers, in that hesitant way that makes the asker wonder if it’s because of the embarrassment or because of the half-lie. “She was running away, after all. Didn’t you say that was what I was so fixated on?”

And Isobel is only the circus because she was the way for Marco to get to who he loved. Even before he knew who he loved.

“Wouldn’t have expected that from you,” Theo remarks, taking out his little Marco-journal to dust it away idly. “You seem like the type who always feels extensively for the protagonists.”

It takes a moment for the words to sink in, but then, suddenly, her eyes widen brightly. She puts down her glass and quickly swipes the journal Theo kept with him before pulling him up by the wrist. “C’mon, let’s do the photo booth?”

“What?” Theo staggers up. Why so suddenly? “Who’ll watch over the table?”

She places her little hat on the table. “That’ll save it, let’s go.”

Theo can feel his pulse thrumming under his wrist where she’s holding on to him. Theo does not have the will to argue as she drags him to the makeshift studio on the far end of the hall. Instead, he focuses on her—the way her hair’s held up in an intricate braided bun on her head, the fall of her dress over her shoulders, the feeling of his hand around his arm.

She’s such a weird girl, he thinks.

When they get to the end of the line—a short one, bless the universe—she takes out the two tarot cards in her pocket and hands them to him.

“Switch props for the photo,” she explains.

When they get to the photo booth, they opt for two photos; one for her to keep, and another for Theo. They don't even bother with the poses, both half-drunk, holding up their character props as the cameraman fixes the shot. She settles, standing by his side, arms twined, head leaning toward him as the camera flashes once. And Theo can’t help himself when he turns to face her because of that, and before he knows it—the camera flashes once more.

She’s too far into her drinks to have time to think why Theo’s so concerned about seeing the photos first and choosing which one he wants to keep for himself.

It is just a little past midnight when she, Theo, Arthur, and Dazai hop out of the hall. She insisted that it would be better to wait until the end of the night before leaving—making most of the ticket, or something—and the most that they had gotten out of that was a free coupon to a fast-food chain.

That, and this:

She’s half-slung over Theo when she yells at Arthur and Dazai, who are very obviously becoming a little too comfortable with each other, handsy as they huddle together. She shouts: “Jesus, guys, get off each other!”

“Hmm? Right now? Sure, we’d love to, if you don’t mind—”

“NO! NO NOT LIKE THAT!” she yells, pushing away from Theo to nudge Arthur away from Dazai. The new lovebirds just laugh mildly at each other as she huffs and frowns, falling back into step next to Theo. “Oh god, I’ve made the worst mistake of my life.”

“Best mistake of my life,” Dazai says with a slurred laugh, leaning against Arthur. She makes a gagging motion, to which Theo snorts.

Relative to everyone else’s lodging in the university, the van Goghs’ apartment is the one closest to the hall, so the four of them make their way to it, drunk feet stumbling on uneven pavements all the way there. Arthur and Dazai are walking ahead of them—Theo doesn’t know how Arthur knows where he lives, not when he’s never brought him there; that’s a question for a more sober time—and she and Theo walk side-by-side a few feet behind.

She’s not entirely drunk, no, but she’s a little closer to drunk than tipsy, and it shows when she speaks. “Did you have fun today, Theo?” she asks, ignoring the little misstep her conversation has cost her.

Theo has his hands in his pockets, but they’re only seconds away from grabbing her by the arm to steady her. Any minute now. “It was okay.”

She grins. “Great! That’s all I want.” She looks back up in front of them, and Arthur throws one glance upon hearing their conversation, but then quickly looks away. “It’s kinda, uuuuh,” she squints, the words lost. “Different, to hang out with you with ‘thur and ‘zai around.”

See, this is exactly why Theo capped himself off at three drinks. Look—he’s long accepted his less than average tolerance, but to have to babysit a group of drunk college kids… “Bad different?”

“Nuh-uh,” she says. “Jus’ different. Used to only us. ‘t’s nice being alone with ya.”

I don’t want to take care of a drunk you on my own, she hears in her head, and she isn’t quite sure if Theo had actually said it or if it was just a figment of her imagination.

Soon enough, the four of them stumble onto the van Gogh’s front porch, Theo just not-drunk enough to get the key in through the hole. With a click, the four of them are greeted by the bright light of the living room. Arthur must have been the one that hissed. They stagger in, Dazai slamming onto the sofa, Arthur right after him, and she, heading to the refrigerator for some water.

Theo disappears for a moment to check on Vincent in the studio and to tell him that he’s brought his unfortunate group of friends to sober up, and it’s a good thing the drunkards aren’t around with him because the brightness of Vincent’s smile would have knocked them right out.

“I’ll go take a shower,” Theo announces to no one in particular, shouting down the hall as he disappears into his shared bedroom with Vincent. She tries not to think of what that would look like, blaming her wandering thoughts on the alcohol. She’s about on her second glass of water when she spots Vincent headed to the kitchen.

She beams. “Vin-ny~” she reaches out to him and Vincent catches her before she falls.

“Did you have fun at the party?” Vincent asks, half-laughing, as he helps her to sit on the counter—which was what she was trying to do. “How much did you drink?”

She raises her hands up to her face and tries to count, fully knowing she stopped counting after the second glass. “Enough to make me happy,” she answers instead, smiling dumbly at the older van Gogh. “Theo was so grumpy.”

“He was so excited to go, though,” Vincent says, standing next to her. Of course he has no qualms ratting on his younger brother like that. “You should have seen him, preparing for his costume. Did he look just as you imagined?”

“…And better,” she admits, before taking a sip of the water again to sober up a little more. The ice in the glass is helping her brain to chill. “I’m not sure if he had fun, though. I feel kind of bad.”

Vincent hums. “He looks like he had fun. He wouldn’t have brought you guys here otherwise.”

“You think so?” she asks, eyes wide. The blond man laughs.

“I know so.”

By the time Theo comes out of the shower, he’s a little more dressed down, in jeans and a button-up shirt. He looks at Arthur and Dazai, both already long out like a light on the couch, and sighs.

“I suppose you’re sleeping here too,” he asks, looking toward her. She shoots him an awkward grin.

“She can sleep on my bed,” Vincent offers, but Theo shakes his head.

“She can sleep on mine. You sleep on your bed tonight, Vincent. I can sleep in the studio. I’ll just pass by the drugstore a few blocks down for some…” he frowns at Arthur and Dazai, “…Ibuprofen, for tomorrow.”

“Take care on your way out,” Vincent answers, taking a scan at Theo up and down to see if he’s sober enough to go out. Theo really didn’t drink a lot—purposefully, he knew this was going to happen—so he’s standing pretty straight. He nods and makes his way out, the door closing with a gentle click.

After that, she slouches next to Vincent, like she was just holding herself up to seem a little put together for Theo. Vincent pats her on the head gently, like a little child.

“Is something wrong?” he asks.

She sniffles a little, looking down at her shoes. “I was just thinking h’much I’ll miss this.”

“Are you going away?”

“Maybe,” she says, idly. “I want to. Don’t want to. Want to.”

Vincent smiles, the kind of disappointed-but-not-surprised, non-judgmental, gentle smile of an older brother one would give to a younger sibling. Carefully, he hooks her arm around his shoulders, saying, “C’mon, let’s get you to bed,” as he leads her to his shared room with Theo. She is pliant in his arms, legs wobbling but still planted with a balance onto the floor.

The costume she’s in doesn’t look entirely too comfortable to sleep in, so he offers her a loose shirt and some sweatpants to change into. It takes her two minutes too long to fumble into them, but right before he begins to get worried that she’s gotten stuck in the fabric, she knocks at the door to tell Vincent she’s done. He walks in with a glass of water.

“One last before you sleep,” he says, assisting her in drinking. “I hope you don’t have a headache tomorrow.”

But she’s intoxicated, and her brain doesn’t follow along with Vincent, so as she’s drinking the water her eyes are wandering the walls, where various canvases are hung. All of them are Vincent’s, and most of them are unframed, and perhaps have never been seen by anyone besides Vincent and Theo. Once the glass is empty, she turns to Vincent with a glazed look in her eye.

“Do you think there’s going to be something greater for us outside of this place?”

He blinks, taken off guard. She has officially transitioned from clingy, whiny drunk, to having an existential crisis, philosophical drunk. He only laughs lightly, placing the glass on the bedside table as he coaxes her into bed, tucking her under the blanket.

“I sure do hope so.”

#the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart #ikemen vampire #ikevamp theo

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sugakookiesbutbadass · 6 years

Text

💜 Soft Bias Tag 💜

i was tagged by the two lovelys at @bts-soccer-moms to do the most adorable tag ever ~ tysm this was so much fun!!

1. Who is my bias?

my favourite muscle bunny jeon jungkook, kookie, nochu, love of my life

2. What made you notice them?

“Dope” was my first bts mv and i swear it was legitimately love at first sight (that police uniform got me whipped from the start but shhh) i’ve never chosen a bias that quick in my life tbh i didn’t even know what a bias was back then and i already knew it was going to be him (cheesy i know) also when i started watching more bts content i fell for his honey vocals, his big sparkly eyes, his cute bunny smile, and he’s just my ideal boy you know? he’s beautiful and talented what more can i say?

3. What’s your favourite thing about them?

i know everyone says this about their bias but honestly can you blame us? of course the answer is everything! i love everything about him, his passion and ambition for music, his big heart and love for his hyungs, his cute mannerisms, his will to strive to become the best at whatever he sets his mind to, he’s not only beautiful on the outside but he’s infinitely beautiful on the inside

4. Who would initiate skinship more?

i think at the beginning probably me? mostly because he's such a shy shy boy but also i think once he's more comfortable it will be pretty balanced between us

5. Who would hog the blankets more?

either neither of us or him bc i'm literally a human heater so i don't really need to hog the blankets that much plus if he just cuddles up to me he wouldn't need to hog them anyways ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

6. Who would be more clingy?

i don't think either of us are that noticeably clingy but if it's just us and not in public then perhaps me?

7. Who would say “I love you” first?

hmmm is it cheesy if i say we happened to say it at the same moment bc it finally felt right? lolol but idk i think maybe he would to say it first cuz it takes me a while to finally admit things so yeah

8. Who easily be more flustered?

oh man i think we both tie in this one but i’d like to think that i can hide it better than him, i mean have you seen the stuttering mess kookie is when his hyungs catch him off guard poor bun bun

9. What cuddling position would you two have?

please refer to this taekook moment as a point of reference

10. Which colours remind you of him?

two colours come to mind:

~ golden honey yellow: he's not the golden maknae for nothing, also like i've said before, his honey vocals make me melt every time and he's also the sweetest boy so of course he reminds me of honey plus he looks so precious whenever he wears yellow

~ a deep bold red: it reminds me of the fire and raw passion in his eyes as he performs, the energy he exerts when he dances, and just that alluring presence he holds when he knows he's owning the stage

tldr: kookie is 💛✨🍯 and jungkook is ❤️🔥🎤

11. What season would you like to spend with them?

summer! i want to have all the fun in the world with him without any worries or cares in the back of our minds, i want to have cute amusement park dates, ice cream at the park dates, bowling alley and arcade dates, everything and anything, we could go out to the pier, stargaze, the whole shabang

12. Who would bake the cookies and who would steal the batter?

based on the cooking run bts episodes, i think he'd be better in the kitchen than me tbh and i'm not much of a baker but i will help if i see someone else baking but also low key so that i can sneak a bite or two

13. Which one of you would make bad puns and how would the other react?

i think both of us would crack a pun every now and then and the other person would just sigh and roll their eyes but also quietly chuckle and note to themselves to one up the other person in the future

14. Who would want to adopt 50 cats and dogs?

i think we would alternate between one of us being like "you know what sounds like a good idea? adopting a dog. right now. let's do it." and the other one being the Reasonable One™ but then eventually one day we both end up being the one wanting the dog and attempting to enable the other and so we end up getting a cute dog child and we live happily ever after the end

15. Which one of you would nearly burn the kitchen down trying to microwave a pop tart and who would come to the rescue?

well considering kookie had said before that he has One Fear which happens to be microwaves so i'm gonna say it's him. it will be like:

him: "kirstyyyy can you make me a pop tart?"

me: "sorry kookie i'm a bit busy at the moment, can you try making it yourself?"

*smoke detector goes off in the distance*

me: *cleans up the mess and makes him a new one*

me: "you're an idiot"

him: "yeah but i'm your idiot" 😉

me: “ugh you're lucky i still think you're cute” 🙄

him: “heheh sorry ily” 😙

16. Who likes to lean over trail railings and who pulls them back?

i think we'd both have our moments for this because we both have no fear of heights and have moments where #dangerismymiddlename but then again we are also promoters of safety so yeah

17. What would watching a horror movie with them be like?

it would consist of a lot of fun banter and teasing towards whoever jumps or get scared :P i really enjoy watching horror films with company because i love commentating (especially for dumb horror films where i get to yell at the characters for making dumbass decisions) but i also get a laugh whenever someone (including myself) gets a big scare so yeah, i think it would be fun to have a horror movie marathon with kookie during spooky season or something

18. Who would be the cheesy flirt and who would be the smooth flirt?

i think kookie can be 50/50 i mean have you seen this boy's duality? his dorky offstage personality vs his sensual onstage presence gives me whiplash.. me on the other hand, i think my cheesiness will outweigh my smoothness like 75/25

19. Who would be more competitive?

we will make everything a competition, but like in a fun healthy way like "i bet i can beat you in this track in mario kart" "iS tHaT A cHaLLeNgE??!?" and whoever wins gets like a little prize each time (can be anything from food to a peck on the cheek to getting the better controller next time to picking the next movie etc.) like just simple silly competitions to keep it interesting (no sore losers or egotistic winners in this house, it's all just fun and games) and ooo bonus: we can keep a little chart over like the month or maybe the year like a "jungkook vs kirsty" and the overall winner gets a grand prize of whatever they want

20. Who would have to be given constant reminders (to eat, sleep, drink water, etc.)

him. we all know that he works his hardest and tries to push himself past his limits so i think he would need someone to gently remind him to take care of himself from time to time :’(

21. Who sends memes and who sends cute “i miss you” texts at 3 am?

we're talking about your resident meme king and queen here so what do you think? but then again we both have our soft hours so i think it will be a fair mix of both. something like

"i miss you"

"you meme a lot to me"

and that’s it!! this was honestly so much fun to do and i’m now feeling softer than usual for my bunny rip gonna go watch some cute compilations or something ok byeee

i tag: @wen-jun-bae, @blueberry-child, @taeyongskookie, @cyphersnamjoon, @mysticalj, @jinstaej, @min-baby-boy-yoongi, @majinstic, @madpanda69, @kochiniseokjinnie, @im-captain-of-this-ship, @kawaii-ing, @chiantae, @dailygifihope, and anyone else who wants to do this :)

#soft bias tag #soft bias #jungkook #bts #jungkook bias #get to know me #personal #tag #tags #ask me stuff :)

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zarekthelordofthefries · 6 years

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Any tips for putting together a Monster Of The Week game? I'm making a campaign and haven't ever played before 😅

Oh, sure! Some of this might be kind of basic stuff that you might’ve covered already but since I don’t know where you’re at in the process yet I’ll try to give some general starting stuff advice. (From your phrasing I’m gonna assume you’re the GM for this.) (Also, uh, some of this got kind of long-winded, but mostly it’s stuff I feel is really important)

Initial thing to consider: Have you played a Powered By The Apocalypse game like MotW before? If not, it’s important to get into the right headspace for it, especially if you’re coming into it off of playing another game, like D&D. D&D and MotW have pretty different design philosophies. Getting into things like “You as the GM don’t plan scenes, you plan a situation” and “You literally never roll, only the players do, you just make your moves” – or hell, the entire concept of GM moves – can be difficult to grasp if you’re like most roleplayers and are coming off a background primarily of D&D, where the GM plans dungeon setpieces and is encouraged to make a ton of rolls and doesn’t really have a system of responding to players’ roll failures in the way GM moves function. I don’t really have any particular advice for this, it’s just kind of a mental unlearning-relearning process anyone has to go through when they pick up a new game. But again, I don’t know your gaming background – you might’ve already cleared this step, it’s just something to keep in mind!

So, I think an important early step in ANY game is having an in-depth conversation with your group about what you want to get out of the game. In fact, I would say the most important early thing in MotW, moreso than the players picking their playbooks, is to have a group discussion of what style of game you want. MotW supports several styles of play that can give you very different-feeling games. You can use MotW to play Supernatural, Buffy, The X-Files, Scooby-Doo, The Dresden Files, or something in between two or more of those – and it’s not gonna be fun if you start playing what you want to be Supernatural and the players want to be Buffy. Talk to your players about tone first and foremost – do you, as a group, prefer something very silly (Scooby-Doo), something grim and brutal (Supernatural), or something in the middle (Buffy)? The MOST IMPORTANT part of this is talking to your players about boundaries. MotW is an action-horror game, and horror comes in many forms that can be touchy for some folks. Talk about what might or might not be comfortable for everyone at the table when it comes to serious subjects that might come up in the game.

Another aspect of that early discussion, less important than boundary-setting but definitely important for the type of story you want to build together, is what kind of setting and style you want for the game. I think it can be useful to establish early on what ties the player characters together. It could just be a location, maybe all the characters just happen to live together in the same weird monster-heavy town and happen to work together, but it can be stabilizing to have something more concrete. The book goes over some of these ideas (I believe it mentions the idea of belonging to the same organization investigating monsters or all the player characters being family members). An important aspect of this is also deciding whether you want the game to be mobile, with the PC hunters traveling from location to location to deal with monsters (this is, funnily enough, both Scooby-Doo and Supernatural style), or centralized in one location with repeated monster attacks (this is more Buffy style). I technically only have direct experience with the latter, but I think both require roughly the same investment on your part, just in different ways (you don’t have to map out every town you go to every session in a mobile game, but you may want to sketch out a map of town in an immobile game, or just use an existing real town and see if you can find a map online – rule 1 of GMing is knowing when and what to steal!).

I think this initial conversation may be more important than playbook-picks, but it shouldn’t be a huge deal if your players already have an idea of what they want to play, as long as you make sure to get on the same page re: tone and style. Additionally, I assume you’re using the updated ruleset from the revised edition of the game, but I’d advise you to check out the old MotW site and its free downloads of other classes that didn’t get added to the revised edition: Here. You’re not obligated to allow any playbooks in particular in the game, of course, but I’d at least say check ‘em out and if you think they work for you, let your players see them too. (You might be discouraged from some of them by tone, and that’s totally fair, some of them are definitely built for sillier games, but keep in mind that can be changed by the right player. My group has both a Luchador and a Meddling Kid that are really human, multidimensional characters, so if that’s what you want and it’s what your players want to do with them, that can work. Of course, if you want cartoon characters, they’re also very good classes for playing cartoon characters.)

As for, y’know, playing the actual game, I would advise you to avoid my mistakes and try to really follow the book’s advice when it comes to early mysteries. Try to make fairly simple, straightforward hunts at first before you start getting complex or esoteric. If you’re like me you might get excited to try to mess with the formula before you even establish a formula for your players, and in a game you’re new to, that can be overly ambitious. (Although you can, of course, get really creative within the formula. Just look at the two example mysteries in the book – in their STRUCTURE they’re very standard, one big monster with a handful of minions that the players have to find a kill, but with radically different styles.)

Remember you aren’t making scenes for your players to run through, you’re making a situation with many dangers (not just the monsters – remember locations and NPCs are dangers, too!) and a ticking clock that the players have to figure out their own clever ways to overcome. It’s their job to be proactive and your job to put things in their way, but let them shove the things out of their way if they figure out how. (Also keep in mind the players can always prevent things on the countdown clock! This is a minor point that I think the game states directly, but don’t start your countdown clocks at something the players have no chance of stopping and/or already happened.)

Don’t worry too much right now about setting up arcs – your players, through their choices in character creation, are likely to give you a ton of fodder for that stuff. IIRC the book advises to start thinking about arcs after you’ve already had the first session, and that’s good advice, but you can probably wait even later than that if you can’t think of anything yet.

Some advice on magic: Let cool stuff happen, but keep in mind the tone and style you set up with your players before allowing something. Magic is flexible in the game, but don’t let clever magic-using players walk all over you. Like I do. A lot. But uh yeah, keep in mind you get to pick the restrictions on a spell. This is one case where GM fiat kinda has to come in to regulate things slightly and you have to decide what makes sense narratively as a cost for the action being attempted. Some characters, like the Monstrous or the Spooky, will logically in the fiction be (super?)naturally magical, so they can get away with fewer of the material-component-type stuff for Use Magic rolls that seem like they should be part of the characters’ natural abilities, especially if you’re going for more of a high-magic game where magic is a little less limited, but you can still put restrictions on things like time in those cases.

Lastly, I don’t want to overwhelm you with options, but I’d advise you to give this PDF a look-see if you haven’t already. It’s about introducing other forms of the supernatural into MotW in addition to the basic magic stuff that the game assumes by default. It adds new “monster” types that are built to emulate threats posed from weird happenings or alien phenomena, to give more of an X-Files or Warehouse 13 feeling where instead of hunting a physical monster, the players are unravelling a strange circumstance and trying to prevent the phenomenon from hurting more people. It also adds options for characters replacing the Use Magic basic move with some other different Weird-based move, which might be near-superhuman physical feats, mundane gut instinct, psychic powers, etc. You don’t have to allow or use these options in your game, but it can make more sense for specific styles of game if you and your players don’t want a setting where everybody can use magic, and/or your players want more thematically appropriate Weird powers for their character if they don’t see themselves using magic often. It can be a good incentive to avoid Weird being a dump-stat for players who don’t want to play a magic-user, but the game is perfectly playable and fun in either style. Again, don’t want to overwhelm you or your players, but I really like the More Weirdness rules and remember how I could’ve used them in some of my earlier sessions, so I want to make sure you’re at least aware of them even if you want to play a more Buffy/Supernatural-style “everybody can use magic fairly easily if they know the rituals” type of setting.

(Okay, actually-lastly, one more minor thing: This isn’t really advice on playing the game, but I would advise you and your group to come up with a title and theme song for the monster-of-the-week TV show that your game is telling the stories of, purely because I found that really fun in my own game. Our theme song is “Stone Cold Sober” by Paloma Faith, if you’re curious. I link the music video in our game chat every time we start a game, after I narrate a cold open.)

I think that covers all the basic stuff I can give advice on off the top of my head. If there’s something I haven’t covered here that you’d like more detail on, or you have a more specific question about how the game is played, feel free to ask! Happy to see more folks playing the game and happy to help out!

#monster of the week #tabletop rpg #original content #rpg #holy shit someone i don't personally know asked me for GM advice #this is a good day

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tessatechaitea · 5 years

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Inferior 5 #1

Hopefully this will be like when Giffen made the Legion of Super-heroes super fucking dark.

How many dicks can you find, kids?!

"How many dicks can you find, kids" is the least quotable line I've ever written. The Kamandi just out of surgery cosplayer winds up getting exploded by the kid in the canvas sack face mask. You know the kid is bad news because he can make people explode with his mind. Although if you ran into him in the desert, you wouldn't know that immediately so I should have stated the other ways you can tell he's bad news so as to maybe avoid exploding. First off, he's a kid out in the desert alone. Kids by themselves are creepy. Plus he's wearing a canvas bag on his head. Canvas is always a warning sign that you might be dealing with cannibal hillbillies, especially when it's covering an almost certainly mutilated face. Also, the kid's canvas bag mask has a big red X on it. Anybody who's been through the American educational system has a strong aversion to red X's. Also spooky: the kid recites nursery rhymes. When you hear one of those, you know you're either about to die or laugh hysterically because did you hear how the Diceman said "cock" instead of "clock"?! How did we never stop laughing in the Eighties?! Oh, one more clue that not all is right with this kid: he lives in Dangerfield, Arizona. That's almost as big a red flag as some sweaty, long-haired kid in overalls from Back Swamp, North Carolina. The story picks up with some nerdy kid (probably Merrymaker since he's the big virgin of the group) whining about how his dad died in The Invasion of Metropolis (what was that? Is that a reference to the beginning of The New 52 when Darkseid attacked Earth? Or is this a reference to the Invasion by the Dominators which was compiled in three way-too-long comics?). After the Invasion, he and his mom moved to Dangerfield, Arizona. Because who wouldn't feel safer in a place with a name that causes constant anxiety over a place where the greatest hero in the world lives?

According to the date on this calendar, the Invasion mentioned was the Dominator one which created the Meta-Gene explanation of superpowers which we recently learned was a computer jargon shortening of the term "metal-gene."

The calendar isn't the only proof that this invasion was by Dominators and not Parademons! By turning the page instead of trying to ferret out what's going on by examining every panel carefully and spending an inordinate amount of my short lifespan trying to guess what's about to happen instead of just fucking turning the Goddamned page and letting the writers explain it to me, I discover the Dominators are leading an invasion of Earth Number This Is Fucked Up. At least I think it's Earth Number This Is Fucked Up because the invasion seems to have worked. Superman is dead and most of the other heroes have been placed in a space gulag. Plus that kid in the canvas bag marking X's on houses seems to play an important role in the Dominator's invasion force.

Unless this is all just a comic book on Earth Number Main Earth?

Maybe I should turn some more pages! But first, I just need to Google "Lisa Loeb's boobs." The kid complaining about the Invasion comic book is named Lisa (no relation to Lisa Loeb's boobs) and she points out to the suspiciously bloody comic book seller with a light sensitivity named Vlad that the Invasion really happened. So I guess DC is simply profiting on everybody's pain and misery. I bet just to make the series even more painful and miserable, DC hired Scott Lobdell to write it. Justin, the whiny kid from Metropolis, is being observed by some outside observers (as opposed to inside observers which would be, I guess, parasites?). He heads downtown where he's about to make contact with Dumb Bunny and Awkwardman! Except he doesn't. Man, I should probably read more than two panels at a time before writing anything. It would save everybody a lot of wasted effort, me with writing sloppy synopses of comics and the three people reading this having to fucking read this. But then I don't have any responsibility to anybody to make these "reviews" shorter. It's not my fault if somebody wanted to Google "Lisa Loeb's boobs" but found they didn't have enough time because they were reading this shit. That's their own fault for not prioritizing their desires! Googling "Lisa Loeb's boobs" was so important to me that I did it in the middle of this review! Come on, people. It's the modern age! You can view Lisa Loeb's boobs any time you want (through clothing, that is. I'm not advocating for searching for nude pics of Lisa Loeb's boobs which probably don't exist anyway and if you think they do, it was probably just Lisa Loeb's head photoshopped onto a naked torso). Lisa has been uncovering clues to the weirdness of Dangerfield, Arizona because she dresses like Velma. Unless she dresses like Velma because she searches for clues the way her hero, Velma, searches for clues. I don't know enough about Lisa's backstory to say. It's possible Lisa isn't even aware of Velma and it's just Giffen spending some easy pop culture capital so readers associate Lisa with Velma and understand her more simply by looking at her image.

Here are a bunch of the clues she's uncovered that I didn't want to try to parse through my digressions and fascination with Lisa Loeb.

Billy Shanker, the kid with the canvas bag who says things like, "Oh! The three little kittens! They fucked their mittens! Oh! Look at the way I hold my cigarette! Boom!", murders Justin's mom and takes her corpse to some guy in a hazmat suit that might be a Dominator but also might be, seeing as how Giffen is writing this, Ambush Bug. Man I hope it's Ambush Bug! Justin returns home to find his mother gone and the interior (five?) of his house covered in red X's. Oh no. That's a really bad sign! Not one black check mark in the bunch! Some people might think Keith Giffen isn't the best artist in town because he's a writer and his art isn't for everybody. Plus he never puts any thought into his panel layout and just goes the same size boxes every time (sometimes in the six variety, sometimes in the nine). I happen to love his art so I'm not one of those people. But in keeping with a guy whose art isn't what people would call great (although those people usually love mainstream great garbage art like John Romita Jr or David Finch or Tony S. Daniel), Jeff Lemire draws the back-up story. I don't think that was an insult at Lemire's expense. If it was, I'm sorry because I was really just trying to insult John Romita, Jr and David Finch and Tony S. Daniel. The back-up story features Peacemaker whom I only remember by look. According to the Who's Who, Peacemaker is a guy who loved peace so much that he realized sometimes he'd have to use extreme violence to ensure it. Also he suffered a head injury during Crisis on Infinite Earths which seems like a weird thing to mention in the Who's Who. "Trillions of lives were extinguished during the multiversal extermination event! Billions and billions of worlds destroyed! People's pasts erased in the blink of an eye! Supergirl and Flash and some other people nobody remembers killed! And Peacemaker suffered some head trauma." I suppose it's important to the character. Maybe it was meant to make him more extreme so he'd be relevant in the post-Crisis era. Peacemaker is on a mission for Amanda Waller to find some super weapon that the Russians want. His search leads him to a bunker with a dead Dominator, a mysterious capsule, and a map leading him to Dangerfield, Arizona! Inferior 5 #1 Rating: B+. I'm a sucker for Giffen stories and Giffen art. And Giffen stories backed up by Lemire's writing are probably even better. This one was pretty good so consider it evidence that my previous statement is almost certainly correct. One thing I like about Giffen is that he doesn't mind writing things that can be confusing on their first (or even second!) read through. He tells the story, makes the jokes, slowly unveils the plot, and to hell with anybody who doesn't want to invest a little time in making it all out. Seems to me, a lot of modern comic book readers could learn to love ambiguity. But they're all so desperate for the interior monologue of the main characters so they know exactly what to think after reading something. They're so coddled that they think subtlety is when a story explicitly shows them what's happening without the main character also explaining it in a monologue as they experience it. They wouldn't recognize subtlety if it...well, I mean, it's subtlety. It should be hard to recognize so I don't know how to finish that statement. Now go read Inferior 5 and hate me for recommending it when you're finished.

#Inferior 5 #DC Comics #DC #Keith Giffen #Jeff Lemire

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