#Butters can also join but tbh I rlly just want him to get away from. everybody. pls somebody get that child some better friends-

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

This is gonna sound unhinged(also sorry to everybody that just now started following me bcuz of my Hazbin stuffs for making u deal w/ my South Park bs) but I PERSONALLY choose to ignore all the possible canon SP timelines and believe the main 4 grow up to be the worst, most codependent polycule you will ever meet in your entire life because I am not above admitting that I kinda just need that energy in my life rn. Don't ask why I just do.

[angeltrapz]

saw ur post 4 saw asks n im here to deliver!! (also fully gonna answer the one u sent me i just had a busy night 💚) — hmmm would personally love to hear more abt the Matthews-Faulkner-Stanheight-Blank family dynamic? esp maybe Daniel + Art, but rlly just anything u wanna talk abt there! maybe if they have any sorta family traditions, what holidays look like for them, that sorta deal

shfajs tysm!!!! (also tht's totally okay, take yr time!!!)

also oooo I love this question okay. so like u mentioned this when I asked abt what Eric n Daniel's relationship would b like post-trap, but I think it's very very good fr Daniel 2 like. see tht Eric has ppl who love him n who don't mind helping him when he needs it n who are THERE fr him bc again, like you've mentioned, seeing a parent so utterly shattered th way Eric was after his trap is incredibly difficult, esp for a kid (though Daniel is like. at least seventeen? still). knowing tht his dad has a good support system n is surrounded by ppl tht care abt him helps put him at ease bc he knows he can trust Adam n Art. he knows they'll keep Eric safe n tht they'll help him to heal, tht they love him n want 2 see him do well n get better. plus, Daniel knows tht if he needs to talk 2 some1 abt how difficult seeing his dad like tht is, he knows both Adam n Art r there fr him and tht helps a lot. of course, he also has Rigg + maybe Hoffman (until th whole. u know.), but they don't live w Eric. they don't see him every day th way Art n Adam do. that's not 2 say they don't know Eric is struggling, but there is a difference btwn them n Eric's boyfriends. basically, Daniel is very much grateful fr Art + Adam.

I feel like Art wld be VERY good at lending an ear fr when Daniel needs 2 talk. whether that be abt their trap + tht whole experience, Eric's trap n the consequences/rough aftermath, just plain venting, etc.; Art is there 2 listen to them + offer a solution if they want one. most times I think Daniel just wants to b listened to, esp when it comes to what they went thru in the Nerve Gas House - tht's smth they don't feel comfortable discussing w Eric right away fr obvious reasons, but therapy can only do so much. I think th two of them have more in common than they might realize at first, bc hey, Art Killed A Man Because Trevor Was Going To Kill Him If He Didn't, and Daniel Killed A Man Because Xavier Would Have Killed Both Them And Amanda If They Didn't. I feel like Art is like. very reserved abt th details of his first trap + how they affected him (and th second one tbh; it's not smth he vocalizes often at all), but fr Daniel he wld gladly talk abt it if it meant Daniel didn't feel alone. if it meant it could help them, reassure them that hey, it wasn't yr fault, u did what u had to, n I know tht can be hard 2 believe right now n that's okay. u need to process things at yr own pace.

and so Art tells them abt the Mausoleum, bares a part of himself he keeps locked away where he doesn't often give it much thought/actively ignores it. n I think tht's healing fr him too, maybe. there's solace in tht shared experience, as horrible as it was in th moment. 2 know there's someone out there who has even th faintest inkling of what u went thru + what u had to do to survive. of course Daniel relates 2 Adam fr this reason too, but like. Art will use his Lawyer Voice n make sure Daniel understands tht what they did doesn't make them a bad person or confirm tht Jigsaw Was Right And They Deserved It. n tht's rly important fr Daniel 2 hear, esp early on. it's honestly one of th first times Art is truly honest abt his feelings on th matter + the Mausoleum, n it's just. a step tht much closer to healing for both of them.

family traditions!!! they do have a few! in the summer, every sunday they have Daniel w them, Eric Art n Adam go out fr ice cream, even if they get it at the drive thru n eat it in th car bc none of them want 2 be around all th people/sit outside in th muggy weather. it's a good way to get them all out of th house fr a little while, something enjoyable tht doesn't require too much energy or even interaction. it's just smth nice they can do where they're all together n chilling n just enjoying each other's company!

this is mostly a Daniel one but every year around April Fools he just. puts fucking googly eyes on everything. n every time some1 discovers some, it doesn't matter where in th house he is, u can hear him cackle abt it. Adam thinks it's an absolute delight n has assisted on multiple occasions. tht's abt as far as pranks go fr them, bc none of them like surprises like that, but god is it ever hilarious 2 hear Eric frm the kitchen while Art Adam n Daniel r in the living room when he says "I found another one!" while he's looking fr smth in the fridge kjdkfsf.

holidays!! every Christmas they all sit down in th living room n watch a couple of movies w the blankets spread out on th floor w snacks n hot chocolate. the first Christmas following his trap, Eric was sat on th couch between Adam n Art while Daniel chose to sprawl out on th floor, n he just looked around at his boyfriends n his son n the fake pine tree they had all decorated together n he like. needs to take a moment bc this is it. this is all he cld ever want out of life right here. this is a level of peace Eric never knew he wld ever be able to reach after what he went thru fr those six months. n he just sort of presses his face into Art's shoulder n breathes thru it. he doesn't even have to say anything fr Adam n Art to know what he's thinking bc Adam's hand is on his arm n Art's resting his cheek against th top of his head, n he might cry a little, but he's happy. surrounded by th ppl he loves n who love him, love him enough to keep the lights down low n the volume on th television soft, to use subtitles so he doesn't get overwhelmed, Eric realizes he has a home n it's just. oof.

fr Valentine's Day, this one was actually Adam's idea initially: wht they do is take sticky notes n write little affirmations on thm fr each other, n stick thm in places where they'll see it. sometimes Daniel joins in on this one, but usually it's an Art Eric Adam thing. so like it'll be little things, like a note frm Adam telling Eric how proud he is of him, or one from Art letting Adam know he couldn't have had a better best friend, or th one from Eric that thanks th both of thm fr helping him w his rashes + helping him 2 accept tht part of him n start to see it as nothing to be ashamed of. it starts on th first day of February and ends on Valentine's Day itself, n sometimes they get those packs of cards u get fr kids just to write goofy shit on thm to pass back n forth n make each other laugh. they also get th discounted candy!! (Adam steals all th twix bars tho. tht's okay bc Eric likes snickers anyway n Art is fond of reese's peanut butter cups. they share th sweet tarts + conversation hearts!)

Halloween is when they get a big bowl of candy 2 leave on th porch fr the kids who're trick-or-treating while th three of them stay inside (+Daniel sometimes!) n watch some classics, like their Christmas tradition. they Also add in some bad movies 2 mix it up a lil bit bc sometimes u just need a laugh. I am like in Lov w the idea u had abt Eric n Adam sometimes building cozy pillow forts, so they do tht n the three of them just vibe in there n lay together n look n talk. n like it's So Much Fun 2 have ppl to like. discuss movies w while yr watching them! esp when they're ppl who won't be annoyed w u when u wanna share a thought! like Eric n Adam will get into this deep discussion abt horror movie decisions n Art will just lay there n listen bc he loves them so much n loves hearing them get amped up abt things. he'll offer his own two cents if asked too! mostly he listens, but he can definitely contribute.

inevitably at some point, someone's hand ends up in Eric's hair n he's just. asleep not too long after that. usually on someone's shoulder or against their chest, n depending on who's still awake, they either try 2 move to th bedroom or they just sleep in th living room (i.e.: Art will try to convince Eric n Adam to come to bed properly, whereas Adam will just b like "fuck it" n pass out right there. has this led 2 them waking up sore b4? absolutely. but it's like. "we r adults who live w our decisions n this one happened 2 be sleeping on th floor" so.

n then a minor one is on their birthdays, some1 (usually Art, to be completely honest w u) will cook tht person their favourite comfort food fr dinner n they all help make cake/cupcakes/cookies/something dessert-related of their choice. so like Art rly likes brownies, Adam is fond of strawberry jello poke cake, n Eric can make some RLY good carrot cake cupcakes w homemade frosting too. it's just smth fr them to do together + like! it's celebrating! they've all been thru so much hell but they're still here! n that's rly th focus for the three of them. sometimes they have ppl over too - like Rigg, Gibson, Brit, Mallick, Lawrence, William (all of them best-case, obv); it's nice 2 have a lil party sometimes! after what they've endured they've kind of earned it I think!

thank u sm!!! this was so fun 2 think abt fjdkjsk

(lil random hc: when Daniel was little, Eric used 2 write letters to him frm Santa. eventually Daniel got "too old for that," but honestly? they cherish tht memory. I wanted 2 include it bc it makes me kjehfje!!!)

[donghun-s]

the very large sp3arb tag

so @sp3arb has tagged me in a total four tags recently and i’m finally getting around to all of them!! tysm for all the tags, meri (btw i love your name?? i think its super cute!) and i hope you learn a bunch of unnecessary stuff abt me lmao (under the cut bc this is a long ass post)

i dont have a name for this tag

1ST RULE: Tag 9 people you want to get to know better

im not tagging anyone bc im bad at things and most ppl i wanna know about, meri has already tagged so

2ND RULE: BOLD the statements that are true.

APPEARANCE: - I am 5'7 or taller - I wear glasses - I have at least one tattoo - I have at least one piercing - I have blonde hair - I have brown eyes - I have short hair - My abs are at least somewhat defined - I have or had braces

PERSONALITY: - I love meeting new people - People tell me I am funny - Helping others with their problems is a big priority of mine - I enjoy physical challenges - I enjoy mental challenges - I am playfully rude to people I know- I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it - There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: - I can sing well - I can play an instrument - I can do over 30 pushups without stopping - I am a fast runner - I can draw well - I have a good memory - I am good at doing maths in my head - I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute - I have beaten at least 2 people arm wrestling - I can make at least 3 recipes from scratch - I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: - I enjoy sports - I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else - I’m in a orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else - I have learned a new song in the past week - I exercise at least once a week - I have gone for runs at least once a week in warmer months - I have drawn something in the past month - I enjoy writing - Fandoms are my #1 priority  - I do some form of Martial arts

EXPERIENCES: - I have had my first kiss - I have had alcohol - I have scored a winning point in a sport - I have watched an entire TV series in one sitting - I have been at an overnight event - I have been in a taxi - I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year - I have beaten a video game in one day - I have visited another country - I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

MY LIFE: - I have one person that I consider to be my Best Friend - I live close to my school/work - My parents are still together - I have at least one sibling - I live in the United States - There is snow where I live right now - I have hung out with a friend in the past month - I have a smart phone - I own at least 15 CDs - I share my room with someone

RELATIONSHIPS: - I am in a Relationship - I have a crush on a celebrity - I have a crush on someone I know - I’ve been in at least 3 relationships - I have never been in a Relationship - I have admitted my feelings to a crush - I get crushes easily - I have had a crush for over a year - I have been in a relationship for over a year - I have had feelings for a friend

RANDOM: - I have break-danced - I know a person named Jamie  - I have had a teacher that has a name that is hard to pronounce - I have dyed my hair - I’m listening to a song on repeat right now - I have punched someone in the past week - I know someone who has gone to jail - I have broken a bone - I have eaten a waffle today - I know what I want to do in life - I speak at least two languages [i don’t speak two, i speak one and sign in another] - I have made a new friend in the past year

alphabet tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better

I was tagged by Roxanne ( is it ok if I call you Roxy? I like Roxy) Actually @lxx-fxlix  And for some reason it did not give me the notification you did, I was casually stalking your blog when I saw:

A: age? 16 (01 liner)

B: birthplace? North Carolina

C: current time? 7:53 pm

D: drink you had last? Arnold Palmer (half sweet tea, half lemonade)

E: easiest person to talk to? for me, it’s my irl best friend gwen and my best friend on here, krys

F: favorite song? oof i’m super indecisive so i’m just gonna commit to mayday by got7 (it always changes but mayday has stayed on my constantly rotating playlist for nearly six months now; most are on for six weeks, max)

G: grossest memory? uh probably when one of my swim lesson kids tried to eat a bug (they were like four) and i had to make them spit it out into my hands 

H: hogwarts house? proud slytherin!!

I: in love? i love a lot of people, but i’m not IN love

J: jealous of people? not anymore, my self-esteem has gotten so much better in past years

K: killed someone? uhm a couple of times in fics (*cough* jinjin in not like this *cough*)

L: love at first sight or should i walk by again? not love but pls walk by again bc i’m probably enjoying your aesthetics

M: middle name? christine

N: number of siblings? one, an older sister

O: one wish? to adopt a kid with no family or an unhealthy one (obvs when  older and financially stable)

P: person you called last? my sister called me yesterday morning, and before that i had called my friend to tell him abt a near death experience when i was driving

R: reasons to smile? something good will happen to you, you’ll meet someone wonderful, and there’s always new experiences to happen

S: song you sang last? poet by bastille (an underrated fave)

T: time you woke up? about 8 am

U: underwear color? light heathered grey

V: vacation destination? i’d love to go to greece someday! santorini would be my first choice, and then my great-grandparents old village near thessaloniki

W: worst habit? probs my dermatillia (picking at acne on my face until it bleeds, then picking at the scabs, leaving a bunch of scars that will never go away)

X: x-rays? i got one on my tailbone one time, two years after i sprained it bc my mom didn’t believe me

Y: your favorite food? uhhh most anything tbh; i quite like the honey butter chicken sandwich from pdq

Z: zodiac sign? libra

✨ Fun Facts Tag ✨

Rules for this are:

Have fun with it!  

Tag some of your mutuals

1) Favourite colours:

orange!! and after that, any kinds of pastel or muted darks

2) Favourite song at the moment:

lotto by exo has been on replay in my head, my car, and my earbuds

3) Last book you read:

the sun and her flowers by rupi kaur

4) Last TV show you watched:

i tried to watch part-time idol bc hyunbin from jbj was in it, but within the first 15 minutes they set up an unnecessary relationship so i had to nope out of there real hard; i then reverted back to rewatching white collar for the fifth time

5) Last movie you watched:

does john mulaney’s nerflix comedy special comeback kid count?? if not, probably nightmare before christmas way back around christmastime

6) If you have a pet whats their name?:

four dogs: pheonix, kino, midge, and bess; three horses: little man, gem, and andy (ironically i’m allergic to dogs and horses, and my dad keeps buying more)

7) If you have siblings how many?:

one, my older sister

8) Favourite thing to do on a weekend:

i love doing my swim lessons and seeing all my kids!! i haven’t been able to lately bc of the weather, 

9) Best tumblr friends:

i only talk to @cheesyramynry on a daily basis, but i have a lot of blogs that i consider friendly acquaintances or casual friends as well!!

10) Favourite thing about yourself:

i value my compassion and empathy above all else; i am very much the mom friend and love to be it

11) Favourite memory:

ah i have so many; i think rn i’m gonna go with this past christmas, bc it was my last one with my grandfather

12) 3 weird habits:

swallowing gum, taking all my pills in descending size order, i tend to mimic how a singer sounds when i sing along to the song (ex: if they have a british accent, i’ll subconsciously sing in a british accent; if they stress certain syllables in certain ways, i’ll do it too)

13) What would you call your style?:

comfortable (stretchy jeans, t-shirts, hoodies) and with a few signature Gay Things (jean jacket, flannels, oversized mens’ button ups, a couple gay/bi pride shirts)

14) Odd talent:

if i have lyrics in front of me to a song i’ve never heard before, i can predict the pattern of the tunes and rhythm and sing along the first time

15) Do you have a tumblr crush?:

literally all of aroha and all of the sk fandom (y’all are the loveliest fandoms i’ve ever been a part of)

the stray kids tag

Rules: answer the questions in a new post, and tag 10 blogs you would like to get to know better.

I’ve decided that in celebration of Stray Kids pre-debut album I needed to create a tag. The ultimate goal for The Stray Kids Tag is to learn about your Tumblr mutuals, and have fun answering the Stray Kids related questions!  Here we go:

1: When did you decide to join the Stray kids fandom?

i saw a thread of information abt the suspected nine members before they were officially announced and was like ‘yes i must stan them and love them with all of my heart.’ so uh,,,,, back in august or september??

2: What is your favorite episode of Stray Kids? uhm, i’m gonna expose myself rn and let y’all know that i’ve never actually seen a full episode of the show; as soon as i heard it was gonna be a survival show, i knew that i couldn’t watch it bc my heart was too weak and i was emotionally incapable of becoming too invested while watching it; but from clips, i quite like the episode with the 3:3:3 mission, and also the last episode when all nine were reunited and told they were going to debut together

3: Who would you say is your bias in Stray kids?

my initial one was chan, and they i got rlly confused, and then slowly came to realize that it was jeongin (anything else after that is a fucking mess)

4: Who would you say is your bias wrecker in Stray kids?

literally kill me all of them bias wreck me so hard bUT hyunjin, jisung, seungmin, and chan have been wrecking me so hard in particular lately

5: What line would you want to be apart of in Stray kids? uHHH not dance line bc swimmers have 0 coordination on land; i quite like singing even tho i’m not good at, so probably that, but i can also hit all of chan’s english rap parts in 3racha songs, and keep up with lafayette’s raps in hamilton, and a lot of the english rappers i like too so uh,,, sign me up for rap line too

6: What is the first song you heard of Stray kids? hellevator

7: What is the first song you heard of 3racha? i think it was either hoodie season or runner’s high

8: What is your favorite song on their pre-debut album?

young wings or school life or yayaya (or grr or 4419 or glow or hellevator)

9: What is a concept you’d like to see Stray Kids try in the future?

i love their current optimistic and slightly rebellious teenager concept rn bc its an Eternal Mood; but i always love myself a soft boyfriend concept 

10: if you could meet with the members of Stray kids for one day what would you say to them?

how proud of them i am, and how proud of themselves they should be; i would tell them about how they’re saying things that resonate deeply for their fans and i love that they’re talking abt real world problems; i would also make sure to tell them (chan and 3racha especially) to make sure to rest more, and eat well, and take care of themselves emotionally as well as physically; and finally i’d like to tell jeongin how wonderful he is and that he’s doing so much at such a young age (lmao he’s actually eight months older than me but that’s no the point) and to never lose his cute little smile

finally done!! meri, if you actually read all of this, uh thank you????? i hope you now know everything you wanted to know abt me, and probably more than you wanted to know

i’m bad at tagging people, so if you also made it this far and haven’t done some of these tags, choose one, or a couple, or all of them and do them yourself!! just say that i tagged you!!

[internalstars]

LIT Retreat

Oh my, this is gonna be long but it was so fun!!

Friday (4/28)

so i didn’t go to coffee or micro and just came for work due to me needing as much sleep as i can get before the retreat, and i had to hand out some things to D and J and didn’t want to hold onto them for long. Went to work, J got the duffle, D bought and brought me some chick-fil-a :) E swung by and so did D but lets not get into that.... S passed by and asked if i’m excited about the retreat, moved to back booth, E came by and so did J, twas fun

got my stuff and had 30 min to chill, i forgot to charge my phone all the way tho :( started walking to car, i was riding w C!!! and J and J. got there first, we had small talk, J showed up, and talked to him for awhile, we were left in the car alone, wasn’t too awk, C came back and finally J came. 

we went to walmart, right when we got out of the car a woman approached C, and asked if we can buy her some diapers for her baby, C said sure and asked her to come w us, C was asking her about her life, and we walked around trying to find her some diapers and wipes, C went quickly to get something, so J just paid for S’s stuff, she wanted some food for her family so J and J went to Jack in the Box while J told me to find C and stay with him to get his things, he was like right there but they already left, so i went with him to find water bottles, J needed some as well, anyways, there was only a small section and then i was like wait theres more over there, we looked for quite a while until he was like yeah im gonna go back to the cheap ones lolol we also had to pick one for J and he was like pick one between red and neon yellow so i said red obv, we paid and then we saw some cardboard cutouts of a lady with a big dancing skirt and man with a sombrero and guitar, so C was like lets take a pic with those jokingly and i was like that is a good way to start off the retreat, and he was like yeahhh so we took pics, i was w the man and had to tiptoe and he took one w the lady staring off in the distance lol we went to go find J and J and lowkey was worried so i asked C if they were ok and he was like yeah yeah, went there and C got his snacks, apples and cookie butter and i was like omg i love cookie butter and he was like theyre amazing but nobody rlly knows about it, so when we were at the table he gave me a slice of apple and cookie butter on it and i ate it, it was v good, he gave some to J  too, and even handed me the snacks for me to get some more, but i was like nah im good, J was in the middle of talking to S about the gospel and we were just listening in and then she prayed for us and we all gave S hugs then went on our way

we just talked, getting to know each other, but J fell asleep and so it was quiet for most of the cafr ride, we arrived!

they were just sitting around the campfire (no fire yet) with their chairs, saw D and G and c so talked to them, grabbed my chair to sit w them, C asked for some of my hand sanitizer and i was like it smells rlly girly and he was like it has sparkles too haha you caught me irene lololol anyways, we just chilled, mostly talking about their piercings, finally introduced myself to J and she was hugged me, the campfire got started, and we started sterilizing the hangers on which we had to eat the hotdogs from, i stuck a hotdog in mine but forgot to wipe it off first so it was black on some parts, had a hard time cooking it lol, kinda got the tip burnt but that was it, just chilled, had a worship sesh led by A and W, then C talked for a lil bit, then we played werewolf! it was soooo fun! the first round i was the little girl so i knew who the werewolves are, and when it was time to accuse, i accused C lololol i forgot my first reason but the second was that all the dead ppl was pointing to him, so then he came to defend himself and was like if i was a werewolf i would kill the ppl next to me and i shouted yeah like toby! (who was right next to him) and everyone was like omgggg hahahhah so he got ousted, then i accused A bc he tried to nominate someone to divert attention from J, so he was out, then J was a team effort and so was M and T by me, M and W it was so great!! we won and W was like i knew yall knew what was going on and we were all just so happy omg it was just so great

 then the next round i was part of the couple which means if one dies the other dies w them, and lol so A called the couple out to know who they are and it was jsut me so everyone was like are they single lolol and C even volunteered to be the other one but it was handed to C, then somebody killed C so we both died p early but it was great to actually know everything that was going on, C was a werewolf (!!) 

that ended and then T and D and I were just talking, mostly them two, C cmame by to say gnight bc he was going to sleep, he said good game to me, then i just went over to the game going on, was so confused, and later C announced to clean up, D and I went to the bathroom, then to the tent, we changed and cleaned up, also no running water, so no washing hands or place to brush our teeth, we did it outside the tent and spat in the grass, was v uncomfortable sleeping that night, first bc i was just unsettled by the fact that i didn’t rlly feel like i belonged there w others, and i kept praying to God but i dont think i ever finished that prayer, it was cold and hot alternatingly, was afraid to hit M, kept rolling around, no pillow, and the wind was super loud, 

Saturday

woke up at 8 for breakfast, D woke me up, we got cleaned up, then i ate a banana, and one poptart from J, C was right across from me, D and I went to the bathroom, then just got ready for the day, we had down time, so I was talking to J and she was just trying to get to know me esp bc i said i was from the philippines, i got hit by a frisbee tho, J tried to warn me, but it was too late and it hit me in my ear and my cheek ish, dude it hurt bci t was hard, but it went away, i started tearing up and J was gonna get me a bag of ice, L was the one who threw it -.-, C came to joined our little group but turned around to watch the frisbee game so that he can protect us from getting hit lol, then we had worship led by K, and it was great, J talked and then we had 30 min to just have QT, so we each grabbed a chair and i prayed mostly and looked at some scripture and then prayed some more, after that, we had lunch, PB&J, dont rlly like it, was not in the mood, so i just ate some of my hot cheetos, J ate some too and J who hated spicy stuff actually tried a few, we were in a circle once again, i was w J and C and J then J joined as well as T and J and D and J, they just told some stories, and C came later with a sandwich and cheetos within it, he talked to me about my hot cheetos (sad he doesn’t like it) and said do you know what ive been craving? that filipino food truck, and i was like omg yeah theyre great but they dont come around often, and J was like you can track them on social media yeah lil thing but it was great, then we played games, so first we did the rope thing where we had to hold onto the rope and be fully supported bby tghe rope, i was next to J and C, we almost fell at one point, then we split up into 3 groups and did the human knot, we were the first ones out and it was super quick too, Z asked some team building qs, then our group tried it again but it didn’t work lol so we just played bang and that was super fun, never won but had fun nonetheless, then once the other teams gave up, we played this suepr fun game where we pretend that we were in an airplane crash and some got paralyzed, broken legs and arms, blind, mute, and healthy ppl, and basically the point of the game is to get everyone across the finish line within a certain time limit, i was picked to be paralyzed both times, so ppl had to carry me, L carried me the first time w M and D and i was the first one to make it there safely, it was sooo funny bc T was paralyzed and it took like 10 ppl to carry him it was so funny to watch, but we all made it in 3 min!! when we were given 10 min, so the next time, there were more paralyzed and unconscious ppl and more injuries and a lot more guys were picked and we were given 4 min, so we started complaining, but we made it in 3 min and 15 sec!!! A was the one who carried me this time, w J’s help, was one of the first to cross again, and when we finished they asked what was a struggle and successes and i said that there were always ppl ready to help me without me even having to ask, then we had chill time i think, or maybe this was before lunch idk tbh, but afterwards, J was just talking to me and asked me if my parents were believers, i told her my conflict about church and she said she wanted to talk about this more so she offered to have lunch w me, then lit team and lead team got separated and C talked to us and split us into groups of 3, i was w L who i met for the very first time, and C, we were supposed to be vulnerable and what to pray about, what you struggle w, and i told them about my feelings of doubt and fear, we prayed for each other, and after i prayed, C was apparently there, and talked lol idk how long he was there and if he heard my prayer, but he wanted to talk to C, anyways, we were just conversing afterwards, then got the whole group together and we discussed what have you learned from God this semester in which j was like to pace yourself and not take up everything even if they are all good works, G was like you are placed where you are for a reason, and some other ppl talked, then we all prayed one at a time and just waited for further instructions, the lead team was taking a really long time, so first the girls and i were just taking then i went to the pond and skipped some rock unsuccessfully w others, then just kept moving around, the girls finally found a table and just chilled there, B came by ad said that there has been some conflict and theyre just trying to talk it out now, so we were super hungry and thankfully C’s car was unlocked, so i went and grabbed my hot cheetos and gummy bears and baby wipes, we demolished all those and then we were finally called for what to do next, in which C was talking about how this is a serious time now, and the level of vulnerability from you is up to us, then we were told to get in a single line and my heart was beating rlly fast, i was not scared but anxious as to what it is, the lead team were all in a circle holding up cardboard signs, lit each had to take turns to read what was on it, and then write our own, if we want, then go back to the line, honestly i was tearing up before i read their signs and when i was in line again, i just kept crying, then we worshipped and then Z talked and it was in Luke when Jesus washed his disciples feet so the lead team washed our feet, E was the one who washed mine, and then C and B talked and we chilled til dinnertime, i hugged D and she was like we need to have monthly meetings next sem to just chekc up on each other adn we all agreed,we had chili, and then we packed up and headed home, the ride home was more enjoyable bc we were all just conversing and C asked what we wanted to do again in the lead team, and i was like coffee and C was like i just think that yall would make good small group leaders, and i told him why i didnt put that down (im not strong enough in my faith to handle all of them and schedule ofc), and C was like I accept the second reason but the first reason isn’t a reason (or somewhere along those lines), and honestly that struck me in the heart, i was like well that was what i thought... and he was like all the small group leaders though that way and probably still think that way, which was comforting to me, C asked about our music tastes me:none

then all BSM met at whataburger!!!!! omg it was so fun, we were the first ones to get there, all sons and daughters song played and C was like ive never heard of this song before and i was like really? even i have heard of this song and he laughed, then he was like im sorry guys my car stinks and i was like it was more of a group effort, and he was like thats comforting, anyways i sat w M and J and S at whataburger, got bbq chicken tender sandwich, D was supposed to sit w us but sat w J instead, we talked about majors and what we thought about this weekend, we extensively discussed the cardboard moment which everyone thought was heart provoking, then i was around G and L and C and A, L wants a piercing and T showed up but i was like nooo, D came to just rest on me, showed T my cartilage, then went to hbu, kinda dozed off on the way, hugged J and exchanged numbers, then hugged C, said bye to C, D, Z, and L as well. went home, showered and crashed.