#CRYING OMG THE COLORS THE LYRICS BYE

[bandsanitizer]

I listened to zayn’s album ROOM UNDER THE STAIRS (finally lol) and have a list of notes on my reactions to the listening process. overall? probably my favorite album by him. I love this sound from him, it’s definitely different than his previously releases and I think it touches possibly on genre in a way that he needed the time to reach and I love that for him. absolutely no skips for me and every track just kind of kept getting better. thank you @calumthoodshands for encouraging me to listen

false starts & shoot at will are probably my favorite tracks. overall give this album a 9/10? could maybe 9.5-10/10 but i haven’t looked at the lyrics (nor did I really analyze them in the listening process)

i’m too lazy to make sentences so pls have my notes as I was listening to the album, below

DREAMIN

drums drums drums

piano & the bridge!!

that high note?!? ad libs!

WHAT I AM

he sings like he has a mustache

the bridge agaaaain

oh that change in tone for the last chorus

GRATEFUL

layered vocals at the beginning of the chorus

the oooos

ohhhh that guitar. a very nice contrast

obsessed with the guitar actually

ALIENATED

acoustic guitar my beloved

clapping?? my beloved

the way he sings “disconnect”

falsetto!!

it’s giving first dance type of track

a xylophone!!!!??!!!!!!!!

MY WOMAN

the opening like damn you know this dude used to be in one direction lol

that low note!!!!!!!!

zayn and luke would collab so well me thinks

i’m a very big fan of the drums on this album

HOW IT FEELS

ok right of the bat this might be a favorite

the guitar

the color and sound to his voice

the way he sings words >>>>>>

STARDUST

oh I fr need a zayn and luke collab

this chorus is so pretty

vibraphone??!!!!

this might be my favorite instead

the electric guitar coming in!!

the chorus!!!!!!!! the chorus!!!!

GATES OF HELL

this guitar. not really a sound I expected

oh the kick layered here >>>>

BIRDS ON A CLOUD

yeah the drums on this albums are !!!!

fucking love the sound of real drums

the melodic part of the guitar

the filter!!!!!!!!!!

CONCRETE KISSES

“all I wanted was a cup of coffee” felt that

this guitar!!!! love this sound

percussion is *chef’s kiss* vibraphone!

very big fan of how well the sonic of the album and album cover art go together

the transition into the bridge unmatched

FALSE STARTS

oh jk about all the rest this track is >>>>>>

holy fuck favorite automatically

like one second in I know I love it

and then it just keeps getting better

this guitar sound

this vocal sound

THE DRUMS!!!!

OMG WHAT THE SHIT

IM GONNA CRY ITS SO GOOD

LIKE TEARING UP ITS SO GOOD

bye this is the best song ever

no one is doing it like zayn

ohhhh the way it opens up at the beginning of the last chorus like smoking hitting the floor and spreading???!?!!!

THE TIME

guitar tone is very very nice

the rasp in the vocals

the instrumental for the chorus is superior

THE HIGH NOTE

zayn knows how to make an album seriously

and his bridges are!!!!!!!

SOMETHING IN THE WATER

love me a scratchy guitar sound

“atmosphere” WHAT THE FUCK

wait what the fuck is that drop & filter for water

the way zayn sings words

idk what the fuck that noise is after the chorus but I love it

SHOOT AT WILL

guitar like BEEN A LOT OF PLACES

im kidding

mostly

WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE

“history pulling me back”

BITCH THE GUITAR SOUND IS TOTALLY INTENTIONAL FOR THIS ONE

emotionally attached to this song can’t explain it fully

FUCHSIA SEA

the intro of all intros

this song has such a fitting title and that’s all I can say

vibraphone again?

this song feels quintessentially zayn

[twinstarlovers]

Honestly fuck the original version, the slowed version sounds so much more….. sentimental? Idk but you get what I mean. Omg I’m getting emotional. The lyrics are hitting different rn. It’s 4am lol, I just woke up. Idk it reminds me of me & then “paradise” is like our wedding.

“When she was just a girl she expected the world

But it flew away from her reach

So she ran away in her sleep

Dreamed of paradise”

Ahhh… this is lowkey kinda literal. When life was hard for me or when I was depressed, I would escape by going to the dream world & no matter how many times I woke up I’d force myself to go back to sleep. It got bad to the point where I was disoriented whenever I was awake like I felt i never felt present. Ahhh.. what a time.

But hmmm I have no idea how ima NOT cry on our wedding. There’s no point of doing makeup like fr. Ima use dollar bills as tissues to be dramatic LMFAO

Bye the universe better give us like 5 million dollars. You told me once you wanted to a big wedding but I said I wanted a small wedding. I say a small wedding because I feel like a small wedding is so much more intimate but at the same time I get the whole big wedding cus I’m extra too. We can have 2 weddings but as I said the universe better give us fucking money cus I CARE ABOUT THE DETAILS & my mf dresses. I ain’t wearing one but if I have to fine 🙄. Idk how that wedding shit works but you ain’t seeing me till the wedding that day. Do people see each other the previous day? Idk. But honestly fuck a makeup artist too cus like I ain’t tryna look like a whole different person & look like I have 10 pounds of makeup on my face like yeahhhhh no. Dudeeee HOW TF ARE WE GONNA DO THIS. The universe NEEDA BLESSSSS. I showed you my ideas but like ugh. This is realistic but unrealistic at the same time but I would have 10 different weddings like all in different weddings because one place is not enough but it will do. But bro I honestly think people gonna have to come in a lil boat like in a tunnel like I told you about & there’s a lil slide show of us or like pics hanging & bunch of lights & they gotta go through the tunnel to get there CUS FUCK. I want that book entrance thing too. I want a magical forest kinda wedding or like a…. “starry night” (headass) wedding. Ooooo you know what we can just change the colors & all the lights like every hour the place looks new like you get what I’m saying. OOOOOOOOOOO YES. Dude ima cryyyy omg. My eyes rn are like 🥺. Lolllll. We gonna plan our wedding as soon as we together! We gonna have a big book of ideas. Btw we gotta save everything we ever do like fuck a phone! We need a Polaroid & a video camera & we take it everywhere. We needa keep our concert tickets & shit too & we gotta make a big ass scrap book. Omgggg yes. BROOOOOOO I giggled because why was I imagining our sex tape accidentally popping up on the slideshow at the wedding 💀💀 nah I’m so dead omg. We need a drug table fr fr. & drug goodie bags LMFAOOOOO. I think goodie bags will have to be personal tho. Like ima put in effort. More so a gift actually. Ima cry omg noooo. Why am I thinking of us writing a card together to your bff & putting it in her lil gift bag or whatever. I’m so emotional this is ugly af. Why do I feel like we gonna be cracking up during the first dance or whatever tho 💀. I’ve always thought about that. I feel like we would be talking about how awkward it is that we are being stared at. Aw. Would I want my parents there tho? Yes & no. Honestly they would leave early because this will get to chaotic or like they won’t fw some of the shit we into. They are gonna be ashamed of me so I feel like I would tell them ahead of time that they can & WILL leave early. I wish they could be there but they won’t be supportive & I don’t want that energy at my wedding. Ew I wanna cry now because I imagine partying & in the middle of it I realize they are gone & me wishing they could’ve stayed & just been a supportive family but whatever. Ew I’m actually crying. I need to stop thinking this far cus this is self sabotage… right? Idk this is so unnecessary but broooo I say so much shit ew. But anyways… bye Lamo 🧸💕💘 lmfaooo the ending of the song is rn, perfect. But yes byeeee have a nice day ☺️💖. Quack quack 🤭🐥💗. You a cute Mamo 🥹☺️🐥💘. Wait bro I think I was lucid dreaming for the first time cus I just woke up & in my dream I was like this is so vivid, I’m dreaming rn & I was looking around but then I went back to dreaming dreaming & forgot LOL but anyways I miss you dovey! 🕊️byeeee I love you I love you forever 🪐💗♾️ 444 rn 👀 okay bye fr fr 🙄🤭💗💗

[moonbeamsung]

under the cut you will find my comprehensive brain dump about hot sauce <3

okay in addition to all the shitposts i made about the album as i listened for the first time, i have so much i wanna say about each track so here we go, even if no one reads this i don’t mind because i’m just posting it for myself! this is 15% semi-professional-sounding album review talk and the other 85% is me freaking out lol

hot sauce: someone said this is zimzalabim’s brother and i can’t stop thinking about it, but unlike that song it honestly didn’t take multiple listens for me to like the song itself. the only thing that was the slightest bit off-putting about it was the higher pitch of the chanting (which i still don’t know if i’m imagining or not) but i don’t mind it as much as i used to. the beat is so interesting and funky and the latin-ish(?) sound of some parts suits them unexpectedly well :,) all the members’ voices are so distinct and i think they all got a chance to shine, like even without looking at the line distribution it just seems pretty even to me when i listen. okay now onto the mv i think it’s super cool and when i saw it for the first time it felt like there was a lot going on and it was a little overwhelming but i think that’s just because it was 5 in the morning and my senses were overwhelmed lol (like the lyrics say o_o (i think??)) also JISUNG’S DANCE BREAK I AM ON THE FLOOR. he sounded so good sjdfbds. renjun’s adlibs (in the final chorus especially) are really something else and his lil duet part with jisung in prechorus 2 is amazing showstopping never been done before etc etc. haechan’s high note and jeno’s and mark’s (side note i can’t believe we really have 7dream again :,)) and jaemin’s raps and chenle’s voice throughout the entire thing are just,,, perfection omg. overall i love this song so much and think it was a great title track for them!!

diggity: IT GOES SO HARD IT’S CRAZY. first of all here are some timestamps that make me lose my mind: 0:30 i swear the adlib sounds like mark but the video shows that it’s renjun and he sounds😳whew. and 2:48.....jisung.........i can’t do this............for maximum pain watch a clip of him talking from 2016/2017 and then listen to this part but warning you may cry. HE SOUNDS SO SKDFBL WHEN DID HIS VOICE GET SO DEEP🥲like i knew it was but this is just. another level lmao but anyways, the bridge in this song as a whole sounds amazing!!! i’m very much in love with really small moments like the little “na na na”s in mark’s rap and the way they sound, sorta minor in tone. also love how the beats build up to the chorus each time and i just wanna bop my head to it! it seems like i hear new little harmonies and adlibs every time i listen and it’s such a nice mix of vocals and strong raps :)

dive into you: the VIBES of this song??? i liked it from the teaser but as i listen more and more it gets even better it seems. like imagine a summer roadtrip to the coast because that’s what this sounds like.  mark and jisung really started things off with one of the catchiest raps i’ve ever heard and everything about it is so perfect😩jaemin and jeno singing >>>> and chenle chose violence with his high note and hearing all the harmonies from every single one of them makes me so happy :> they’re so beautiful like aaaaa. also i just love the minor-sounding notes (that’s a favorite thing of mine can you tell) in the chorus with the “you-ooh” parts. VOCALIST JENO AT 2:36 IS THE PRETTIEST THING I’VE EVER HEARD DO YOU HEAR HIS HARMONY. can’t forget vocalist jisung either, any time he sings i’m just🥰which has happened a lot this cb which is GREAT :DD and then on top of all that, the track video is adorable and they look so happy!! driver haechan doesn’t hurt either lmao AND THE PERFORMANCES OF IT ARE SO CUTE TOO LIKE HHHH

my youth: something about this song sounds so nostalgic and it’s going on my driving playlist because it just gives me such a carefree feeling, like being on the highway or driving through a city at sunset. it’s really chill and it’s one of the softer songs on this album so it balances out the harder-hitting tracks :) jaemin’s rap is so nice, reminds me of how much i love his voice :( i heard a clip of them singing this song live and it doesn’t sound the slightest bit different, it really shows all their singing talents🥺

rocket: omg definitely another favorite of mine on the album, it’s so upbeat and reminds me of dream run!!! also it’s moonshine produced so you know it’s going to be a total bop. for some reason it feels like something that would play on a rollercoaster if they had music, the scales and the synth make it sound really fun and it’s extremely enjoyable to listen to, makes me wanna dance around :) jaemin’s rap with the little star wars line is cute hehe. and chenle’s “level up” part, he sounds SO GOOD! from the bridge towards the end, that’s my favorite part, it’s such an energetic beat and, like, bouncy? i guess? that’s not the best word but i really really really love this track☺️☺️☺️

countdown (3,2,1) : besides the fact that mark decided to k word me with that “explOsive” line at the opening i love this one too! it sounds futuristic almost. i never knew how much i needed to hear jisung say “control freak” before this and his singing voice at 1:15 and 3:11 and 3:24 is just wOw—plus his RAP I’M NOT GONNA RECOVER FOR A WHILE😔🤭......also love the transitions from jaemin into mark and then jeno for that part in the bridge and the buildup it has to the final chorus. i think haechan’s and renjun’s voices sound so good on this track like at that softer part? aND HOLY HECK IS HYUCK THE ONE DOING THOSE ADLIBS TOWARDS THE END BECAUSE IF SO DAMN. yes boys you are very dangerous

anl: why couldn’t they have just called it all night long because everyone’s reading it wrong🤠this one is really chill and i think the way it sounds kinda matches the vibe of their boring ver. photos, if that makes sense. it’s also going on my driving playlist!! i don’t know what to call the little twinkling sounds at the start but i love those, and mark’s voice is so soothing in this song🥺something about the way renjun sings “sky high” is gorgeous and jisung’s parts with the harmonies are truly a blessing to the ears :] the chorus sounds so inherently dream and i feel like track itself has something mature about it? (not in that way geez) but like it just shows how far they’ve come music-wise/vocally

irreplaceable: except for mark’s one english line in the bridge (you know the one don’t make me type it) (but it doesn’t make me cringe quite as much anymore) i also adore this song☺️if this track had a video, i’d picture it looking something like the cafe 7dream content. it sounds really acoustic and warm and like they could just be casually singing it together in a cozy cafe or studio! also, i realized that it reminds me of another dream song when i hear it and i figured out that it’s bye my first hehe. HAECHAN’S HIGH NOTE IS WITHOUT A DOUBT THE BEST PART, MARRY ME SIR.

be there for you: literally the renhyuckle ballad we’ve always wanted!!! i don’t even have that much to say because it’s just so beautiful, all three of their voices blend so well together and it’s such a comforting track. nct’s slower and softer songs like this are very distinct and have a gentle kind of power. listening to it feels like a hug and the harmonies and high notes and the extent of their vocal ranges are just so, so amazing.

rainbow: for all the times i’ve cried to it, i still love it :,) those first lyrics from chenle make me want to bawl my eyes out simply because his tone there is so nostalgic and pretty and sad-sounding, and reading the lyrics makes me even more emotional (or maybe i’m just overly sensitive oops). the softer raps and angelic vocals and every little harmony and adlib are EVERYTHING, this is another song that just suits the unit so well. regardless of their positions this track proves that every single member is beyond capable of being a vocalist. i don’t know why it seems like such a sad and nostalgic song to me, but it’s also really hopeful at the same time. it’s like this dreamscape of emotions (no pun intended), and the video is so otherworldly and enchanted it seems almost magical. the colors and the playground set? their expressions and interactions with one another? i swear, their friendship and bond is unlike any i’ve ever seen. this track also makes me think of how proud i am of them, and i wanna give them all the biggest hug in the world🥺

if you decided to read this whole thing i would like to say i’m sorry for the ramble but also thank you for being interested in what i had to say :)

[anyhao-archived]

okay since i didnt do a fan account for last time i saw vav, i decided i absolutely needed to do it this time especially since jacob was there this time. ill put this under a read more since i ended up talking a lot lol. but a few highlights from last year though real quick:

my mom went with me and she fell in love with st.van who seemed very impressed that a mother liked him so much jdkflgh

ace gets more attractive every time and. red is his color no one else can wear red except him

baron was exceptional at fan service as always

they changed their choreo for it to work for 6 people and i was very sad. but very impressed that they learned it all again

im sure theres more but thats all i can remember specifically off the top of my head. and it was over a year ago oops smh i shouldve wrote it down. anyways this year snapshots were rly expensive so i only got one with jacob and it was so so so worth it. the absolute love of my life apple of my eye my entire WORLD

i personally enjoyed this year much better than last year for a few reasons: it was the same venue who now knew what to do lol and not scrambling like last year. also the sound quality was... off. last year. could hardly hear vocals but this year it was BEAUTIFUL. also!!!! JACOB was there! that on its own makes it worth it for me! also my friend was there with me this year too hehe

also heres my fan account from 2 years ago (the first time i saw vav, with jacob) in case anyone wants to read that one too

ANYWAYS: the fansign. was much more rushed than previous years but that makes sense with the sheer volume of people there. i dont remember what i said to at least half the members lmao but i did tell jacob that i was happy he was here this time and that i missed him. also i literally went mute when i saw ace hahaha

i told lou and st.van thanks for coming (i think?) and originally i was gonna tell lou yeehaw cuz he was wearing a cowboy tie thing but i forgot. 

also ziu kept saying my name over and over except he kept pronouncing it wrong dsjhkgfl that letter ㄹ can be pronounced both as an R and an L. so my name is maiRin but he kept saying maiLin. props to him for trying again and again though lol. ziu’s handshake was so so hard too lol like he wouldnt let go so i told him he had a great handshake and he was like :))) YOU TOO!!. hes so loud and energetic lol

during the hi touch i kept thinking about how tall they are!!! like they mustve grown since last year lmao or maybe i shrunk?? anyways me and my friend made a heart together for the group photo

the concert was FUCKING AMAZING!! like i said they fixed the sound problem from last time so they sounded sooo good. they did all my fave songs except for abc but apparently ayno choreographed runway specifically for the tour bc so many of us wanted it lol

god. ace unbuttoned his shirt during poison and i think my soul left my body. and baron did that tummy tease by lifting up his sweater..... how can they do such a thing to me... im losing my voice and i can pinpoint the exact song why: dance with me. and spotlight. i screamed all those lyrics believe me!! 

ALSO THE STAGE PART?? where they called fans up on the stage? i got SO embarrassed secondhand. the 30 second eye contact made me so nervous that poor girllooked like she was abt to pass out. and then ayno kept coming closer and baron worked together w/ him and made sure she couldnt walk backwards and THEN? WHAT THE FUCK DOES AYNO DO he uses baron as a wall and does the FUCKING WALL SLAM!!!!!!!!! i dont think we screamed louder than at that moment. i couldnt watch some of the fan service it was just. so much.

and at the end!! baron did a huge dance break for poison’s encore stage and he was so close to me. he looked so fluffy and soft but also s*xy in that turtleneck sweater... 

during ending ments. people started chanting for jacob bc he wasnt there last time and i (cry emoji) as well as chanting ‘best leader’ for st.van. god i love vampz so much. st.van also took a pride flag and wore it too it was nice

and now: the snapshot session. unfortunately i only could afford one and i got mine with jacob. so some background knowledge: in their first concert i also took a pic with jacob where we did the E.T. pose where the tip of our fingers touch and. it was DESTINY OK the flash reflected off the glass behind us and lit up the exact spot where our fingers met and.. i cried when i saw it LMAO. 

SO! i brought that snapshot with me this time to show him!!! and i was able to thanks to some sneaky moves using my sweater and he was like :O but i dont think he focused on the E.T part he was more like: omg u took a pic with me before?? (like he was surprised he has fans? bitch i LOVE you you have so many fans what a humble boy but also. he needs to know hes got fans!!!!) and i was like yes!!! i saw you before!! :^) very happy abt it! and then we took the pic.

and our pose was him wrapping his arm around me. it was so sweet he held up his arm so i could come snuggle up near him and i wanted to literally DIE. and our pic together is so cute ill add it at the end!!!! and this time i did not run away lmao (spoiler 1st time i took a pic with him i ran away and the staff had to tell me to come back so he could say bye) dhfsjgk 

AND i said bye to him without stuttering!!! he smiled so brightly at me ;; and then he said: ill see u again. cant wait to meet you again. and my heart fuckin BURST. he wants to see me again!!!!!! bitch i wanna see u again for the rest of my LIFE!!!!!!!!

anyways im in my jacob feels in particular today now but also all the members were beautiful and talented and wonderful and it was just such a great night. i love them so so so much i would do anything for them

ok so ignore how i look but this is our snapshot: its a polaroid and we look so cute and happy together i wanna cry. i miss him already. apologizes for the blurriness and random lights its hard to take a pic of a polaroid lol

[celesjial]

hyunjin’s live quick trans 

he was like HI BABY HI ANGEL HOW R U from the comments and i nearly died hes so cute 

hes like oh whoops is this bad timing its like rlly early in korea WAKE UP AND WATCH ME GUYSSSS 

someone knocked on the door so hes like WHO IS IT IM ON VLIVE and then seungmin jeongin and changbin barged in and theyre like we needa get smth and hyunjins like WHAT and seungmins like SECRET and then jeongin was like imma just stay with changbin till ur done bye and changbin started whining about how its HIS room and jeongin cant just barge in

didnt catch the name of the first song he listened to, but the second one was comethru by jeremy zucker 

hyunjins been listening to more music than dramas recently but theres one hes been watching recently called hotel del luna and he likes it

he doesnt get colds very often so he never really feels sick (okay hyunjin flex) and he ate a lot of lobster recently

“who’s your roommate” hyunjin; minho-hyung but hes sleeping rn apparently he sleeps v well so he won’t wake up 

he took a lot of pictures and a lot of them are of scenery with his members in it 

he doesnt have swimming goggles and he swam with his eyes closed and he said he was scared lmao 

“changbin’s birthday...” OMG CHANGBINS BIRTHDAY TF DO I BUY HIM

he played instagram by dean 

“are u gonna do hyunjin’s practice room again” hyunjin: haven’t been satisfied with dance recently but i’ll practice hard and come back

“who are the roommates for this trip” changbin and seungmin, hyunjin and minho, chan and jisung, woojin and felix, and jeongin’s with the manager i’m guessing 

he’s playing crush’s woo ahh now 

“where is changbin” “where is HAN JISUNG” (side note please stop asking for other members adfhlkajsdhflk) but he said jisung is prolly working out rn 

hyunjin’s tmi for today: is that he ate jjamppong at some korean restauraunt and it was REALLY good 

“whats ur fave flower” hyunjin: idk flower names

he says hes been eating really well recently (good for u bubsie keep eating) 

now he’s asking for song recs 

ooh his favorite mixtape is mixtape 2 

“OMG I LOVE THIS SONG” plays beautiful people by ed sheeran and khalid and he’s singing along super cutely bc he knows some of the lyrics i love him :) 

“what drama do u like” 

“you’re so beautiful” hyunjin: thank you :) (YES YOU ARE)

“do you like mint chocolate ice cream” yES I DO (i knew i could trust hyunjin )

he closes his eyes and his ears when he watches horror movies bc apparently the music is the scariest part (is it really?)

hes playing in my blood by shawn mendes now and hes singing along hes adorable 

“you make my day better” hyunjin: everyone should always have happy days  and hes happy he made someone’s day better) 

he likes iced coffee better than hot coffee which is INCORRECT hyunjin take that back 

in my blood is seungmin’s song recommendation ahdflahsd he was singing it around hyunjin and hyunjin was like what is that i want it and now its part of his playlist 

“where is IN” (PlEASE dont ask for other members :( ) hyunjin: changbin’s room i think 

“where is felix” hyunjin: felix is currently sleeping 

hyunjin: ooh i like this song (he’s playing treat you better) 

“what did you eat for breakfast” he had honey (?) and it was REAL honey

he learned how to take pictures from seungmin bc he taught him how and thats how hes been getting new pictures really well  

“will you play senorita” hyunjin: yes!

he wants the concert to come really quickly bc he wants to show stays a cool image really soon :) 

paris and london: was his first time to both and when they took the boat from london to paris everything was SO PRETTy like the sky and the colors and the scenery and he had such a great time he was so so happy 

he thinks lion king is rlly cute 

hes playing 19 adfkhlakjdhfla where is jisung when he needs it 

“insomnia” hyunjin: ᵒᵏᵃʸ

hyunjin: ALSO GUYS THE BUSES... *song is too loud* --EXCUSE ME *turns down the music* -- ANYWAYS THE BUSES---when we rode them i slept alot it was great

(hyunjin i love u but plz hurry up i needa finish my work and ur not being very helpful)

hopes today was a healing room and now hes playing insomnia 

“episode with minho as ur roommate” no he sleeping he does that too much hes boring he aint fun 

wifi stops working -- “NO WIFI PLZ -- WIFI STaRt WORKING PLZ DONT BETRAY ME LIKE THIS WIFI--oh ok we good :) ) 

hes ranting about minho now lmfahlfd i thought we were done w this topic but he said minho never wants to do anything even after he says he’ll do it lmfaoo big mood minho and hes like minho makes noises in his sleep is funny 

all the comments are like go to sleep hyunjin and hes like I WILL IM WAKING UP LATE TOMORROW CHILL GUYS 

“stray kids music is the best 3racha is the best” hyunjin: I KNOW 

“you make me happy” hyunjin: thank you :)

“screenshot time plz” hyunjin poses for the next five minutes here’s a preview :) 

(rip i need this bitch to hurry up i have to do my fkn work SIR)

he’s playing ocean eyes by billie eilish now 

the bitchass live froze RIP us 

oh we back 

oh now he’s ranting about minho again hyunjin for a boring roommate u sure got a lot to say ab him -- hes like minho sleeps rlly lightly so he had to be rlly quiet when he went to shower -- but wait hows he live rn then im confuzzled 

OH MY GOD IM GONNNA CRy there was a comment that was like “hug HUG” and he hugged the camera im gonna sob i love him sm 

smth about cereal --oh he’s playing crush’s cereal 

aww he always misses kkami 

THIS BITCH IS TALKING ABOUT MINHO AGAIN SIS WTF 

hes playing with filters now aldjshfkalshfasdjfalsfajsdjfimnotdeaddontworry

he likes fruit loops and so does seungmin 

THNAK GOD HES FINISHING NOW I WAS GONNA CRY 

bye hyunjin!

[natsustarrevolution]

Miyano Mamoru Request LIVE II by Natsu XD

SO Let’s talk about RII!!! It's already passed more than one month, right? XDDDD Sorry, adult life got in my way XD

Well, I'm old so probably I already forgot some things LOL And I was in a way too much fascinated! Like too much fascinated LOL so I lost some things Mamo was talking about AHAHAHAHAHA XD I'll do my best during this little report!

Let me start with: OMG I was so freaking nervous!! It was a roller couster to arrive at yokohama!! I even got lost AHAHAHAHAA*********** OMG The line WAS GIANT!!! One part I thought I would be the next to take the goods, but waaaaa it had a EXTENSE AND GIANT LINE INSIDE YOKOARI!!! At least was better than outside! Outside was so freaking hot!!! ;____;

But waaaaaa when I finally arrived at Mamo Goods Saloon (is that the name? XD), it was playing many mamo songs!! I couldn’t hold myself when The Birth started to play ajaiahuauhauiahuihauhaia I kind danced and it was so fun!!! I was so nervous to ask the goods I wanted to the staff hauihaihiauhahuiaa I was even shaking!!! When I talked in japaneese so nervous and the staff saw it she just “it’s okay, it’s all alright ^^ tell me what you want ^^” I loved the way all the staffs were so lovely!

So after this, it was time to wait the live start! It was funny at one moment because they ask you to give you one kinda “entrance ticket” I forgot the name @yasuragi-hotaru told me AHAHAHA sorry XD but thanks a lot for help me and it was amazing to met you there <3 the same for @mamo-pls waaaa it's was great to meet you and thanks for spend some time with me before the live x3 (I was alone for 3 or 4 hours in that line inside YokoAri, so meet some wonderful people was great for sure!! <3)

So! When I arrived there, the staff asked my right arm and marked my wrist with a kinda invisible stamp!! Ofc I was confused but then she used an infrared flashlight that showed the RII marks!! This was so cool!! I was so surprised that I said so fascinated “waaaaaaaaaa tecnologyyyy!!!!” HAUAHUAHAHHAHUAHAHAUAHHAHA Everybody laughed at me because of this, but sorry, only REALLY BIG events have this kinda things in Brazil XD It was fun! I didn't knew had many cosplayers of Mamo costums there!! That made me wanna do the same thing next time XDD So well!! Then we started to enter in YokoAri, I was almost screaming HUAHUAHAUAHAUA But sadly I was in stands really far from him ;_______; </3 Really. Practically in the last line of the last stand ;-; I was really sad... ;-; I'm still kinda sad only remembering it ;-;

So I was there at my seat, waiting. I was without any clock so I was surprised when the lights turned off!!! I thought I would yell, but... I felt my heart beating so fast that somehow I even felt time stopped HAUIHAIUHAUHUAHIAHUAI

Ofc it had one little Request II presentation but it was so fast! Team Mamo started to enter and taking their places and suddenly Mamo arrived walking with that beautiful suit!!!!! Entering like it was a really important event, you know? hauiahiuahuiahuiaa (My sister told me later Mamo was cosplaying Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas with that suit hauhauiahuhaihahuia) Ofc he said the same things as always “thank you for come and welcome for request II” well... Sorry again, but I was so fascinated and so happy that I lost many things he said HAUAHAIUAHIAHAHAUHAHAUAHI My heart and mind were going so crazy!!!! All I could think was "IT IS HAPPENING!!! 5 YEARS DREAMING TO SEE YOU, MAMO!!!!" <3 <3 <3 Ofc he said we would sing some songs people had chose, but some of them I didn’t knew LOL If I’m not mistaken, he said some of that songs he really like

The first song was really nice! I didn't knew that song! OMG SOME OF YOU MAY KNOW BUT LET ME TELL YOU THAT MAMO’S VOICE IN LIVE IS SO BEAUTIFUL!! SO BEAUTIFUL OR EVEN MORE THAN IN CDS AND DVDS!!! <3 <3 <3   His voice is still echoating in my ears!! <3 <3 <3 his voice has so much emotion and feelings!! So much of amazing feeling and aura!!! It was being hard to deal with all of that!! ;-; <3 <3 <3 OH! One of the songs was Dazai’s song, right? It was so funny because before the song, Mamo said using Dazai’s voice “no more human” and everybody turned off the penlights almost at the same time!! Mamo laughed so much XD HAUAHUAHAUAHUAHAUAHUAHAA he said “omg y’all are so smart LOLOLOLOL” it was really funny! We did again and he laughed even more hauahauahuauaua During this song, everyone was with an red light and in the end, he said “no more human” again and all of us turned off our penlights! huahuiahhauiaia Mamo laughed a lot!! (OH MY GOD!!! HIS LAUGH!!! HIS LAUGHS AND GIGGLES ARE ONE OF THE BEST SOUNDS IN THE WORLD  <3 <3  <3 <3  <3 <3  <3 <3  <3 <3  <3 <3 JESUS, I WAS CRYING SOMETIMES HAUIAHUIAHUAHUIHAIUHAUHAUIA)

When he played harmonica!!!  WAAAAAAAAAAA <3 <3 <3 OH MY GOSH!! I was waiting for everything, but not hear and see Mamo playing harmonica at live!!! My heart almost stopped !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3 He plays it so FUCKING WELL!!! <3 <3 <3 Waaaaaaaa!!! Ok ok, I need to calm down! (Stop to beat so fast again, heart AHUAIHAUIHAUHAUIHAHAUHAHUI) So he was saying about sing one song of a really popular character and one that he likes too! Rin's Gratitude, ofc! It had one guy who yelled “Rin-chan!” LOL ofc Mamo replied this guy, laughing LOL I confess I yelled “Rin-chan-san!” LOL but Mamo didn’t heard me ;______; </3 It was really cool!! I love that song of Rin! Mamo has such a wonderful voice in that song!! <3 <3 <3

So then, after talking he said “but that’s enough, I wanna sing my own songs lol” hauhauauauauuauauauua (Pause to say: OMG HIS SMILE ;-; <3)

Here, I can’t remember exactly... does he went to change the cloth, I think? It had that time showing Team Mamo, and it had one new member, but I can’t remember his name (too much hard japanese name,sorry XD HAUAHAUAHUAHAUA) I also forget when he did it, but with this new member, Mamo went next to him and practically throw himself in the floor, looked to that new member and said with a funny voice: “oh! A new member! That’s nice! Who’s you??” HAHAAHAUHIAUHUAHIA that guy said somethings and ofc Mamo was teasing him XDDDDDDDD

Waaaaa I wasn’t waiting EGOISTIC!!! <3 <3 <3 All the parts we could sing, I was there singing as a crazy fangirl hauahiahuhauiahuhahaiuhauhaia (how people didn't hated, me I don't know XD they was singing along too XDDDD) But but but!! Waaaaaaaa I was almost crying of happiness listening Kuon, BE and Forever Lullaby ;______________; <3 I love these songs!!! Kuon isn’t the same for me!! ;____________; <3 his voice, his tone and his notes in this song this time was so dawn perfect!! So beautiful to hear <3 <3 <3 It was really beautiful!!!! I had so much fun while he was singing Super Soul!! That part when Mamo laughs in the song, everybody laughed with him!  <3 <3  <3 <3  <3 <3  <3 <3  <3 <3  <3 <3  <3 <3 It was so dawn cute!!! I think it was in this moment he took that “car” and was going through arena!!! ok, here I confess I had a lot of jealous AHAUIAHAHAIHAHUAI XD But I got so happy when he looked to the stand and waved to us ;-; <3 I wasn’t waiting for WONDER LOVE TOOOOOO!!! OH MY GOSH I LOVE THIS SONG!!!  <3 <3 <3 It was one of the songs I felt in love for him <3 <3 <3 We all sang along with Mamo when the lyrics let us HAUHAUHAIHAHAHIUA HE WAS SO HAPPY SINGING THIS SONG!!! ;-; <3 <3 <3

So yeah, he was saying bye bye in the end of this song and that part I loved too: The part we yell his name!! MAMO MAMO MAMO! <3 I was yelling so much uahuiahihauhahaiuhahaihauhia

BUT THEN!!! SOTTO TOKETTE STARTED TO PLAY AND I JUST HEHEIWIYEIWMWMQOWINCMZKOSJWNEKEIWJWWKJWNWAHUIWHUOEHEYRUJIDN2WDBUIEILEWKNCHWEBCKJNWMWIHEJWKLMNXUHILCJKWNBYEKUCJNKJBDCUHIOJQDUHEJINBFERWEINWVBEWICJLNVBURWJEINJWVBWJEQINLCWRJIPKL <3 <3 <3 OH MY GOSH OH MY GOOOSH OOOOOH MYYYY GOOOOOSSSH HIS HIGH NOTES IN THIS SONG AT LIVE!!! HIS HIGH NOTES!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3  <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 HIS VIBRATOS <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3   IT WAS SO FUCKING BEAUTIFUL!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 (oh Gosh, help me now because now from that live, I can’t with Mamo high notes!! //throw myself in the floor ;_________;) Ofc they did that dance he does in the mv!! It was sooooooo amaziiiiiing!!!!!!!!! <3 <3 <3

After this, he started to talk about somethings, but the only thing I remember I could understand was about the Photobook, Player (sorry, Sotto Tokete high notes just broke me HAHUIAHIUAHUAHUIAHUA I was trying to survive XDDDDDD) He said would be released in october and he went until Las Vegas to this, and then the said “maybe this photobook will have... some... eroi photos lolololololol” ofc we all yelled and he laughed a lot, but later he just bent down to the floor saying “waaaaa hazukashiii!! ><” and IT WAS SO CUTE!!! <3 <3 <3 OH MY GOSH!! LEMME SAY AGAIN!!! HIS LAUGH!! HIS GIGGLES!! THEY'RE ARE SO BEUATIFUL AND SOOOOO CUTE AT LIVE!!!

Next this talk, he said we would sing ofc the song we already know, all penlights turned into yellow, my penlight din’t have this color ;-; but I knew the song before someone tell me! ahuiahauiahuiahia OFC WOULD BE EXCITING <3 Mamo was joking saying we already knew everything, he doesn’t even need to ask or say anything ahuahauiahiauhahiuahuaihuiahuahia So he asked again for the dancers, they entered doing some dance but Fumi was the best HAUAHIUAHUAHHAIA He was shaking his arms very funny and Mamo laughed a lot asking what he was that LOL we all were laughing and Fumi said “keyboard dance!” HAUAHUAHAUAHAUHAHAA Mamo said “really?” Fumi and Mamo looked to Sano-san and Sano-san danced like Fumi HAUAHUAAHAUAHAUHAUAHAUHAUAHAHAUA  MAMO LAUGHED SO MUCH!! Even Mamo started to dance like Fumi and in the end we all were dancing the keyboard dance HAUAHAHAUAHAHUAJAHAHAUAHAUAHAUHAUA

SO! Mamo after this Mamo started to sing EXCITING AND OH MY GOSH, I LOVE THIS SONG!! I LOVED TO SING NANANA NA NANANA NAAA NANANA NAAA NANA WITH EVERYBODY!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 IT WAS SO FREAKING MAGIC!!! ;_______________; <3 I LOVE THIS SONG EVEN MORE AFTER THIS LIVE!!! <3 <3 <3 IT WAS SO FREAKING FUN!!! <3 <3 <3  MAMO WAS HAVING A LOT OF FUN TOOO!!! AND OMG HIS HIP WHILE DANCING THIS SONG AHAUIAHIUAHUIAHUIA <3 <3 I FELT MY CHEEKS ON FIRE BUT I COULDN’T HOLD MYSEEEEEEELF AHIAHAIUHAUHAIHAHAHAIUAHIAUHIAUHAHHIUAHAIUAHUAIHUAIA The only sad part was that live was SO SHORT LMAO after the song, Mamo did like always, saying bye bye to us and I felt so abandoned when he gone HAUHAUAHAUAHAUHAUAU ;______; </3

oh!!! Stupid me!! LOL I forgot to say about team Mamo time!! LOL That part when Mamo introduce all team Mamo members!! It was so cooool while introducing them, they did a little song with their instruments and I got so happy to see Kei-kun in the drums *O* I think he’s so cute x3 Kihara-san did a nice song with guitar tooo!! The same for Sano-san with the keyboard/piano!!! *o* ok, all of them!!! LMAO So the dancers came and many girls yelled to Nosuke!! (I include myself here too LOL Nosuke is so cute!!! <3) All of them did a little dance to us follow them ahuiahaiuaihauihauia I always got much more time to take the choreographies! When I finally got it, the dance changed LMAO) Fumi ofc was one of the funniest!! He did like the same in GENERATING LOOOOOL IT WAS SO FUNNY!!!!HAUIAHUAIHAUIHAUHHUAI

Hmmm okay! I think this is the end of my report! I probaly forgot somethings and and maybe had mixted some others (as you can see XDDD) BUT it was really one of the best days of my life! I was dreaming to go to some Mamo live for so much time ;-; I need to say a big THANK YOU to @hikarisunny and @sasunaru-relationship too! Thanks to @yasuragi-hotaru and @mamo-pls who also were so nice to spend some time helped me (and when I was so nervous! ahahahahahhauah) <3

So in resume: I’m much more in love with him and I’m being impossible since september about Mamo LMAO <3 I though it was impossible to love him more, but I realized that is possible ahuiahuiahuaihauihauihaihiau

That's it. Idk seems such a weird report, right? XDD

(******* I always had so proud to be a good sense of directions, it's rare to me get lost easily anywhere, really! BUT JAPAN!! Japan humiliated me on this issue! my pride was hurt so many times HAUIAHIUAHHAIUA I'll let to say about it in some other post XD)

[socasuallylaci]

My Secret Session Experience

On May 23, 2015 during the 1989 era Taylor Swift followed me on tumblr. She's been following me since then, and at the start of the reputation era she started noticing me and liking posts I was sharing (19 to be exact). She started joining fan's livestreams on Instagram which encouraged me to create a fan account (so as to not annoy all my non-swiftie friends) and start livestreaming on there in hopes that Taylor would see and join. On October 12, she joined my livestream and chatted with me for 20 minutes.

About 30 minutes later I got a message from Taylor Nation on tumblr, saying they noticed I was a great fan and would like some info from me. I knew this meant that SOMETHING was gonna happen, but I didn't know what. When I saw the next day that there was a secret session in London I cried, knowing that it was a huge possibility I was going to one. 2 days later on the 14th I got a phone call from TN saying there was a super secret special event happening on the 19th in Rhode Island and I was invited. I did my best to keep my cool while talking to them and the moment I hung up I BURST INTO TEARS! I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. They took all my info and another 2 days later they sent me the email with the location and time.

So we drove up to Rhode Island on the 19th and met at the location we were given. After being checked in, signing a confidentiality agreement and having our phones and bags taken (we literally could not bring anything because it was confidential) we eventually got onto vans that drove us to Taylor's house. We went in and got to hang out in the kitchen/balcony/sitting area with her mom, dad and brother (who all were so nice and pure) and eat snacks (including rep cookies and m&ms this girl is so extra I love her). I first talked to Scott who was so funny and kind, he kept yelling out to make sure everyone got picks! I also asked him to confirm that the chicken nuggets were in fact Chikfila 😂 he told us beautiful stories about Taylor, he was radiating with pride for her. Then eventually Andrea made her way through hugging and talking to everyone. I hugged her and told her she’s so beautiful and she looked at me in the eye and said “YOURE so beautiful” and I was like omg. Then I was wondering the halls looking at the pics on the wall and as I was looking at a picture I turned around AND AUSTIN WAS RIGHT BEHIND ME and I was so thrown off I was like OH UHM HI and he laughed and held out his hand and was like “hi I’m Austin nice to meet you!” And I was like omg hi I’m Laci nice to meet you too! And then I asked him for a hug and he was like oh course! And gave me this big hug.

After some time they let us go into the living room where we all sat on pillows and blankets on the floor and anxiously waited for Taylor to come in. We all started singing Fearless (IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT) and as we were singing Taylor walks into the room and we all start screaming and crying. She sits down in a chair in front of us smiling so big at all of us, and then the session began.

Unfortunately I can't share details about the session, but I will say that this is hands down her best album. It is a total 360 from anything she's ever done, but that's because you can tell that it's the real Taylor finally coming out of her "nice girl" shell. She's no longer letting anyone speak for her, she's reclaiming herself and no longer quietly standing back while people try to tear her down. This album is RADIATING happiness and confience and she is SO PROUD of it and so so happy. This album will blow you away.

Also, she was so INSANELY ADORABLE while lip syncing the songs to us. You could see how proud she was of every single lyric. She kept saying “this is one of my favorites” and I kept calling her out about how she said she couldn’t pick a favorite track on my livestream. She was like “I genuinely don’t have one favorite!” And I was like “I didn’t know if you just were lying cause you didn’t wanna give it away until the album came out!” (Which I didn’t mean to say she was lying I meant to say that she was just saying that because she didn’t wanna reveal it yet omg I DIDNT MEAN TO CALL HER A LIAR LOL) and she looked at me with the CUTEST look and was like “I would never lie to you, you know that!!” And I was like IM SO SORRY IM GONNA GO DIE NOW LOL. She also referenced SO MANY tumblr memes I was dying.

Anyway after listening to the album (I kept making comments about the songs and stuff and she kept replying to me omg), Taylor left to refresh herself while we got moved to a sunroom to hang out with each other and look at the magazines from Target available to be pre-ordered. YALL ARE GONNA WANNA GET THESE LET ME TELL YOU! All of a sudden Taylor popped back into the room and told us that since we were such a great bunch she had a suprise for us, WHICH SADLY I CANNOT SHARE. (Yes, this surprise got leaked on tumblr but I was told not to share it so I'm not gonna continue to spread it. If you really wanna know you can do your research.) She made eye contact with me SO MUCH during this surprise I couldn't stop crying.

Then finally she stepped back into the other room for the meet and greets. She took her time with everyone so we just hung out in the sun room while we waited until we were ready. My mom and I stayed back to be closer to the end hoping we'd have more time with her (which backfired sadly because they wanted everyone out by midnight).

When it was our turn I walked in and she smiled so big at me and opened her arms to hug me and was like "Hi how are you!" and I was just like "omg I'm great how are you!" and she thanked me for coming and I thanked her for inviting me and then she hugged my mom and thanked her for bringing me. She then asked me what we wanted to do for our picture and I told her my mom wanted to hold a Grammy, so she took her two Grammy's off her shelf and handed them to us to hold for the picture. As she handed them to us she told me she loved the matching color scheme my mom and I had going on and I laughed and said we are always twinning. So we took the picture and she took the Grammy's back and I started telling her about how much her music got me through the worst breakup and she was like "right your All Too Well breakup" (referring to the breakup I told her about on my livestream) and told me that I was part of the reason she gave us that surprise (OH MY GOD). I told her about how much I had been hurt by this guy and the whole time I was talking about it she was like "oh my god I hate him I depsise him I want to kill him" which had me laughing. She also told me she was feeling so protective over me and that we had to take a super cute picture to make him mad (did I mention I love her?). So she saw that we were both wearing matching rose gold snake rings and said maybe we could hold them up to show them off, but I said I already had a pose idea which would kind of show off the rings (yep I literally rejected a pose idea from Taylor Swift omg). So I had her hug me around my shoulders from behind and I held onto her arms in front of me and she was like "omg that's super adorable". Then I thanked her again and hugged her and stepped aside so my mom could get a picture with her. After that we were saying bye and then I ran back to her and was like ONE MORE HUG and she squeezed me so tight it was magical. Then we got our merch bags and got back in the van to be taken back to our cars.

I was a little upset because she didn’t say my name when I came in and everyone was saying how they were complimented by her or that she told them she stalked them a lot and she didn’t really say any of that to me. But after thinking about it I realized that I had my hair and makeup different from how I normally look online and I’m pretty sure she didn’t recognize me right away and I totally threw her off lol. And honestly I just kept rambling about my stupid ex (my brain literally was not working cause I was in a state of disbelief) so I didn’t really give her an opportunity to talk about my tumblr or anything lol. But I do have her telling me that I was part of the reason she gave us that special surprise, and that means everything to me. As I said we were also a little rushed because it was getting close to midnight which kind of sucked and made me even more nervous lol. It still was the best night of my life and I can’t thank Taylor enough for actually choosing me and wanting to meet me. She is such a truly kind and beautiful soul and I will never forget this gift she’s given me. 💕

@taylorswift @taylornation

[bxngtans]

Hey guys! This is just my reaction/summary post of the BTS Concert in Newark (Thursday, 3/23)! I’ll be going into a lot of detail, but bare with me. I’ve linked all the fancams I took throughout the post, so you can check that out :)

[Full Fancam Playlist]

BEFORE THE CONCERT

Alright so first things first...I’ve been following BTS since ~May/June 2014, and this was the first time I was actually able to go to a live concert. I WAS LITERALLY BEYOND THE MOON when I got tickets, and I was so excited that I was badgering everyone I knew with my fangirling. BTS means so much to me, they got me through some of the hardest times in my life, and they gave me happiness and hope. So getting to go to one of their concerts, see them and support them in person, was such a blessing.

I had P2 seated tickets, so I got to the Prudential Center at around 7pm. I immediately got in line for some merchandise, and I was able to get a BTS Army Bomb!! I met another girl who also came to the concert alone and we bonded over BTS and the struggle of putting batteries into the lightstick LOL. Once I got to my seat, I was all alone as in the seats on either side of me were empty, BUT the MVs were running and the energy in the venue was so amazing. Everyone was singing along, jamming out, cheering, and I got into it too. It’s pretty amazing how so many people were singing along to BTS and I was really really happy tbh. Two girls eventually ended up next to me, and they were seasoned concert-goers so they were really nice! The seat to my left was empty though :( Also!!! So many volunteers were handing out colored baggies for the rainbow, it was so touching.

THE CONCERT BEGINS / INTRODUCTION

Okay so....holy shit. The lights finally dimmed and literally everyone was losing their shit. They had this cool shattering effect play on the screens and then BOOM BTS was out, kicking it off with Not Today! It literally felt so surreal. They were even better than I could have ever imagined, and everyone was so hyped it was amazing. To start off the concert, they transitioned pretty quickly between songs. I was so into it, I only got a few snippets of the songs, but it was all so good. I think at this point they had gone through Am I Wrong, Baepsae, and Dope! AND LEGIT I COULD NOT BELIEVE THEY WERE THAT IN SYNC AND STILL SINGING SO WELL.

When they got to the introduction, I was pretty much dying with how cute they were...and how dorky they were in real life. If I had any theory that they were in fact cool and chic that was thrown out of the picture when J-Hope came out onto the scene with his “I’m your hope~, I’m your angel~,” line! They all clearly practiced their English, which was so touching too. AND OMG SUGA. What a dork, he just kind of basked in the cheers when it was his turn to speak, and had this little smirk on his face, I was dying!

Video Clips: Am I Wrong + Baepsae / Introduction Ment (JK)

BEGIN: SOLO STAGE (JK)

Holy. Freaking. Shit. MY BOY IS S O   F R E A K I N G  T A L E N T E D. When he first came out, I was internally screaming, and when he opened his mouth, it was like angels came out from behind the clouds...But nothing could have prepared me for that dance break. He seriously killed it and I could not believe how stable he was while singing. I’ve never been so proud of him. :’)

Video Clip: Begin (JK)

LIE: SOLO STAGE (JM)

Alright, first off, I was so into this stage I legit did not want to take my phone out to record, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. He sang so well, he danced so well, and the stage was so freaking beautiful, from everything from the bit where he was blindfolded to the choreography. It was so just...so freaking beautiful to watch. Park Jimin is ART.

FIRST LOVE: SOLO STAGE (SG)

I love Min Yoongi. Everyone got really quiet during his stage, and we were all just totally enraptured by his stage and his rapping. His presence is no joke. I was so into it I didn’t even think to record anything man.

REFLECTION: SOLO STAGE (RM)

WOW WAY TO MAKE ME ALMOST CRY NAMJOON. This was not planned as far as I know, but when Namjoon sang “I wish I could love myself,” all the audience echoed back “We love you,” like they did in Brazil, and I got GOOSEBUMPS. It was so freaking sweet and he totally owned the stage, even shouting out to the crowd at one point. Definitely an awe-inspiring performance.

LOST (JIN/JM/JK/V)

DUDE I WAS NOT EXPECTING THEM TO SUDDENLY POP OUT FROM THE STAGE THE WAY THEY DID, the girl next to me had to redirect my eyes LOL. I am so pumped I finally got to see this performance, and they were all so stable and their energy was A+.

Video Clip: Lost

SAVE ME

Okay, they did not give ARMYs time to breathe, literally once Lost was over, they started Save Me, and I was lowkey hyperventilating. Jin, Jimin, Jungkook, and V were the only ones on stage until the first chorus, and they were all walking around the stage and interacting with the crowd, it was so cute. Then the chorus hit, and sUDDENLY THE RAP LINE WAS RUNNING ON STAGE TO JOIN IN THE CHOREO and DAMN SON was that GOOD. One thing I have to mention for this stage, was Suga’s rapping was so o n  p o i n t.

Video Clip: Save Me

STIGMA: SOLO STAGE (V)

I recorded the entire stage because one of my friends is a Tae stan, and I’m so glad I did, because holy shit. Tae hit those high notes like a motherfreakin KING. Anyone who sleeps on his voice needs to listen to him sing Stigma live BYE. Also, totally unrelated, but he was so sparkly in this stage LOL.

Video Clip: Stigma (V)

AWAKE: SOLO STAGE (JIN)

O.M.G. I have to admit, I’m usually not one to get into ballad-type songs, but this was literally an experience. They had instrumentalists on stage too which kind of just enhanced the experience even more. And Jin’s voice was better than I could have ever imagined. He sang so emotionally and honestly, I don’t know how I was able to even keep my hand stable to record any of it...

Video Clip: Awake (Jin)

MAMA: SOLO STAGE (JH)

SO. FREAKING. AWESOME. THE CHOREO, THE SINGING, THE RAPPING, THE EVERYTHING. I LOVE JHOPE AND HE REALLY PROVED ALL THE HATERS WRONG WITH THIS STAGE. HE HAS SUCH AN AMAZING STAGE PRESENCE EVERYONE WAS SO EXCITED, THE AIR WAS BUZZING. ALSO I LOVE THIS SONG BYE.

CYPHER PT. 4 (RM, SG, JH)

THIS WAS SO LIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They were hyping up the audience so hard, and we were legit dying. This was the point in the concert where they started flinging water onto the crowd, it was getting hype real fast. (And later in the concert, Tae even threw his entire water bottle into the crowd LOL). Also, I have never loved the lyrics to this song more: every person in that stadium was singing “I love myself” and it was so freaking awesome. I love how BTS managed to create such a hyped environment and STILL have everyone singing along to the most wholesome lyrics...

Video Clip: Cypher Pt. 4 (RM, SG, JH)

FIRE

Rap line took off their coats and the music started and the other members came on the stage and DAMN. Anyone who says BTS isn’t talented has gotta look at them performing Fire live and try saying that again...Also, the fanchants/singing along was 10/10, I’m sure BTS could feel the love!

Video Clip: Fire

BTS MEDLEY

This was probably the best moment of the night for me. They started off with No More Dream and then went through all of the older songs that got them to this point. I was so emotional by the time they got to Boy in Luv and Danger, because those were the eras I first got into them...and it kind of hit me that that was three years ago, and look how far they had come. I was literally such a wreck during this part of the concert, but I loved every single bit of it. I recorded the whole bit too!

Video Clip: BTS Medley

21st CENTURY GIRL

This is one of my favorite songs by BTS, and they absolutely killed it on stage!! The message has always made my heart melt, and seeing everyone in the crowd screaming and chanting and singing along was such a surreal moment to me. All the ladies really DID put their hands up in the air and SCREAM!

Video Clip: 21st Century Girl

BOY MEETS EVIL: SOLO STAGE (JH)

Man, what can I even say...After this concert, I love J-Hope even more than I thought I could, and the dancing in this was too good to describe with words so honestly just watch it omfg.

Video Clip: Boy Meets Evil (JH)

BLOOD, SWEAT, & TEARS

(cough cough, you mean my blood, sweat, and tears after this entire concert??? LOL) I was totally emotional during this song too, because Namjoon had just announced this was their last song. And while I knew full well that it wasn’t, it STILL got emotional for me because I realized the concert was almost over. But they really did awesome with this performance, although I was a bit concerned because they looked dead tired :((

Video Clip: Blood, Sweat, & Tears

-BREAK-

Okay so BTS left the stage, and the audience quickly started cheering and chanting for BTS and it was a pretty euphoric moment tbh. Also, we all started putting on our colored baggies over our lightsticks, and seeing the rainbow ocean develop was truly amazing. I swear I got goosebumps.

WINGS

So obviously, BTS came back on stage to perform a few more songs LOL, and Wings was one of them! I could literally feel my heart melting throughout the song, because right before, they played this video basically figuratively telling the story of BTS, and how they were seven hearts into one, seven boys into one, and wow it was just really, really emotional and beautiful. Also all of them were walking all around the stage and dancing and jumping and playing around with the fans it was so SO awesome. :’)

Video Clip: Wings

-TALK-

Oh god, don’t even get me started on this...the boys called us their Wings and told us without ARMY, they wouldn’t be able to fly. And FRICK Namjoon really knows how to pull at our heartstrings. They also looked so genuinely happy with the rainbow ocean, and thanked us for it, and GOSH EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS MOMENT WAS JUST PERFECT.

2! 3!

One of the most emotional songs of the concert. When the boys held their mics out for the fans to sing, I got goosebumps, and I was really proud with how hard we tried to sing for them, despite most of us not knowing Korean, and I’m sure they were really happy too. Can I say goosebumps?!

Video Clip: 2! 3!

-THANK YOU MENT-

This was probably the sweetest moment of the concert. They all took their time to say something in English to the fans, and they all had something worth it to say. Jin was so freaking cute, egging the fans on to say that his solo stage was the best :’) And J-Hope was just so excited, you couldn’t help but smile when you saw his face on the screen. Not gonna lie, I’m gonna call Suga out on his bluff, because I’m 90% he just heard Namjoon calling us our wings and repeated that and he looked so satisfied with himself and our response LOL. BUT I LOVE HIM FOR THAT. Jungkook was adorable, and he didn’t want to speak first, our cutie! Jin called us our rainbow which was adorable too. I WISH I COULD INGRAIN EVERYTHING THEY SAID INTO MY HEAD, but alas I can only remember being so happy, laughing, and this general warm feeling in my belly.

SPRING DAY

Okay, for real for real the last song, and it was beautiful. The dancing was more than I could have ever wished to see from BTS after performing so much and for so long, and yet they still did an amazing, amazing job.

Video Clip: Spring Day

THE CONCERT ENDS / CONCLUSION

My heart hurt a little bit when they came out to do their final thank you and bow to us all. But I think they probably make a habit of doing long and meaningful goodbyes, and I’m really happy they do. The audience was singing along to the “Whoa~”s of Spring Day, and BTS just looked out to us as we did so, and it was such a sweet moment. As they bowed, a bunch of people in the pit through plushies onto the stage, and J-Hope actually picked one up and tried to mimic its face, it was SO CUTE! Jungkook took a flag and tied it around his neck like a little superhero, it was adorable. Also, Jin blew so many kisses and acted so GREASY towards the end, I freaking loved it. One of my favorite moments was when J-Hope started swaying his arms to make the crowd follow him, and Jungkook copied him except in 10x speed, like the absolute dork he is.

I PROBABLY MISSED SO MUCH and I wish I could honestly relive it all over again and again, but the memories and videos will have to suffice.

Honestly, sorry for the long-ass post, but this is mostly for my sake so I don’t forget a thing :’) But I hope you guys enjoyed reading/watching this as much as I did.

To those of you who made it to the end, wow ;D

[eatprayjop]

here’s most of what baekhyun did on his ig livestream 170205 (i’m probably missing stuff sorry):

he said he’s at home rn!!

he asked if we knew what suho had done recently and was like ‘yes ur right!! he released his song curtain!!’

then bbh said he was gonna play it for us so he turned on the mv and it was sosososoosososo cute and precious he sang along to some of the words

baekhyun was like ‘so handsome... hes handsome right??’ and then kept saying he was 멋있어 (cool/handsome)

he really sang along to some of it w/ such intensity but said he didn’t kno the lyrics well

bbh gave suho little thumbs up and stuff so cute

baekhyun... king of loving and supporting his members

at one point he was like ‘wow our leader!!’ and stuff so cute

bbh mentioned he wanted to do that kind of a song himself or something (i think suho’s song is very much his style he really kept complimenting suho and saying it’s a nice song)

he sang a little of chen and dynamic duo’s ‘nosedive’ mostly humming

SOMEONE ASKED TO SHOW HIS EAR SO HE SHOWED IT ONLY HIS EAR AND A LITTLE OF HIS HAIR WHAT COLOR IS THAT SUEFHOWIEJOF

someone asked to show his eyes and he said ‘oh i can’t do that bc then you’ll be asking me to show you everything [his whole face]’

baekhyun asked us what we wanted to listen to and he started playing some music and singing along (idk what all the songs were sorry but they were ballads he seems to really love those)

the first song after curtain he played he turned off and was like ‘i can’t yell at home so’ (bc the music was loud/high notes and he was singing along aoiefjowije)

he said he had nothing to do, which is why im assuming he did a broadcast he didn’t have anything prepared either lol so he was humming to himself and just clicking around on his computer and stuff

he played ‘don’t worry’ the song that was the ost for ksoo’s movie hyung but he didn’t play the version d.o. and jo jung suk did he played the original and sang along omg... it was like a mini concert im crying

he got a call during the broadcast (which is why the livestream paused for a bit i think?? correct me if im wrong)

he was addressing yesung at one point (idk if yesung was watching the livestream or he called him i was a little confused) and he said ‘i’m just playing w/ my aeris’ and he laughed and stuff ummmm bye he’s so cute

bbh said we didn’t need to click the heart bc it doesn’t really matter anyway aww

i wonder if baekhyun watched goblin he played the one ost from it the ‘beautiful life’ one and blessed us w/ his vocals again.. we’re spoiled

he showed us his hand soifjwoejfoje

he’s so cute really omg he said ‘i wanna play u this one last song before i go’ and then put on ‘moon of seoul’ and sang along to the whole thing wow !! god is good!!!! (on a side note ‘moon of seoul’ must be his like go-to song wow.. my new favorite song)

at the end he said ‘end!!’ and sorry for doing a livestream so late but he felt like it had been a while and we would wanna hear his voice or something (tru) so he did one wow !!! im so grapeful

he wished us a goodnight

💗💓💖💕💟💘💞💝💞💕💕💖💟💟💗💓💘💕💖💝💞💝💗💓

[thick-skulls]

ALL THE QUESTIONS!!!!!!

omg, it’ll go under the cut cause this anon is insane bye 

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? spotify, but i don’t really like it

is your room messy or clean?it’s like in between for me, but messy for some people like my mom

what color are your eyes?brown

do you like your name? why?yeah, i think, i’m stuck with it my whole life so that’s one of the reasons and the other reason might be the meaning, i read one that i comes from a latin verb that means to be strong and then i read the definition on urban dictionary and it made me really happy

what is your relationship status? single someone love me please

describe your personality in 3 words or lessa dumb dumb

what color hair do you have?RED, I’M BACK WITH THE RED. 

what kind of car do you drive? color?i don’t drive a car 

where do you shop?anywhere, if i see something i like and i can buy, i’ll buy it

how would you describe your style?a mess

favorite social media accountinstagram is pretty cool, i love taking pictures, twitter is fun i guess

what size bed do you have? idk, i googled it and i guess it’s a twin xl

any siblings?yup, an older sister

if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?somewhere near the beach, cause i love the beach, i find the sea terrifying but i love the sound and it gives me peace

favorite snapchat filter? the dog filter cause i look cute

favorite makeup brand(s)i have no idea

how many times a week do you shower?between 5 and 7

favorite tv show?right now, steven universe, the oa is pretty cool too

shoe size?35 

how tall are you?1.50cm

sandals or sneakers? sneakers

do you go to the gym? no

describe your dream datewalk around listening to the same music, sitting down to eat something, enjoy the day, hold hands and all that cute stuff

how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?102 pesos

what color socks are you wearing? in one foot a black sock and in the other foot a white sock 

how many pillows do you sleep with?1 but i have other pillow against the wall cause sometimes i hit my head

do you have a job? what do you do? i teach english to some kids

how many friends do you have? i have like 4 close irl and then i have some here on tumblr

whats the worst thing you have ever done? push away my group of friends

whats your favorite candle scent? i don’t really use candles

3 favorite boy namesdante, matthew, logan

3 favorite girl namesemma, charlie, dianna

favorite actor? idk, i don’t remember anyone right now, chris evans is cool

favorite actress? anna kendrick 

who is your celebrity crush?right now it could be alexis bledel or kate micucci

favorite movie? eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? i don’t, i wish i could read more, my favourite book it’s the little prince

money or brains? part of me wants to say brains but money is a good one

do you have a nickname? what is it? val

how many times have you been to the hospital?for my own, like 5 times i think, in general quite a few times.

top 10 favorite songswhite flag by sabrina carpenter - lovely by twenty one pilots - last hope by paramore - you and i by ingrid michaelson - absolutely smitten by dodie - cassiopeia by sara bareilles - she had the world by p!atd - let it be by the beatles - bohemian rhapsody by queen - drive by halsey

do you take any medications daily? no

what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)oily, i think

what is your biggest fear? being alone, heights

how many kids do you want? none, however if i can i’d adopt one

whats your go to hair style?straight hair 

what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) big

who is your role model? i don’t think i have one, it’s too much pressure on someone else

what was the last compliment you received?the one i remember is my friend telling me that he wishes me all the happiness and love i deserve

what was the last text you sent?my sister

how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?i don’t remember lol

what is your dream car? my dream car is a car i can drive

opinion on smoking?do whatever you want

do you go to college? yes ????????? something like that, i took a break and now i’m gonna do online courses

what is your dream job? reviewing films and stuff like that

would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? the suburbs

do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? yes, they give you a lot for a reason

do you have freckles? no

do you smile for pictures?i try to

how many pictures do you have on your phone? idk like 400, i don’t have my phone with me now

have you ever peed in the woods? yeah

do you still watch cartoons? of course

do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?mcdonalds maybe, i don’t order chicken nuggets, i should do it

Favorite dipping sauce? cheddar 

what do you wear to bed? my pajamas

have you ever won a spelling bee?no

what are your hobbies?playing video games

can you draw? kind of, only like copying something, seeing the picture

do you play an instrument?the ukulele

what was the last concert you saw? i think it was paramore

tea or coffee?both

Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts?starbucks

do you want to get married?i don’t know, maybe

what is your crush’s first and last initial?i don’t have a crush right now

are you going to change your last name when you get married? no

what color looks best on you? idk black

do you miss anyone right now? yes

do you sleep with your door open or closed?closed

do you believe in ghosts?yeah

what is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing with their mouth open

last person you called`i don’t call people

favorite ice cream flavor? chocolate or dulce de leche

regular oreos or golden oreos? regular oreos

chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate

what shirt are you wearing? a black shirt

what is your phone background?in my lockscrean i have an aesthetic picture clara made for me and then in my homescreen a picture of anna kendrick 

are you outgoing or shy?very shy

do you like it when people play with your hair?yeah

do you like your neighbors? i hate them

do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?in the morning

have you ever been high? no

have you ever been drunk? yeah

last thing you ate? chicken and salad

favorite lyrics right nowthe sun will rise, and we will try again.stay alive, stay alive, for me.you will die, but now your life is free

summer or winter? winter

day or night? day

dark, milk, or white chocolate? all the chocolate

favorite month? march

what is your zodiac signcancer

who was the last person you cried in front of? i think it was in front of my whole family, cause i don’t remember crying in front of anyone after that

[borathae]

~Chapter 26~ I just want to say I LOVED this chapter so much. Them making up and all the fluff 😚👌💕 My heart really needed that. Also how you describe Namjoon in your story is exactly how i think he is in real life. Like always having some really well worded advice that sounds so well thought out but he didn't even have to think about it that hard, it just comes naturally to him. Where does one find a Namjoon? And the tea part? Excuse me? That was a whole movie moment. 😭 Eternity biiitch 😭 I had literally so many song options for this chapter but at some point I had to stop myself lol

🖤 My Everything - Ariana Grande

In this chapter or rather in the time between this & the last chapter oc accepts that she wants jungkook back in her life and said let's work on what we have bc it's far too powerful & special to just dismiss it because someone made a mistake which can be worked out. I think she always knew this but now she accepted it. "I've cried enough tears to see my own reflection in them and then it was clear, I can't deny I really miss it." I think oc realised this especially once jk revealed he needs time to think and that's when it hit oc that he might not come back and that she actually can't live without him. "To think that I was wrong, I guess you don't know what you got 'til it's gone. Pain is just a consequence of love. I'm saying sorry for the sake of us. He wasn't my everything 'til we were nothing. And it's taken me a lot to say. And now that he's gone, my heart is missing something so it's time to push my pride away 'cause you are, you are, you are my everything."

🖤 It's Gotta Be You - Isaiah Firebrace

I actually think this song represents both their povs. "I hear a million voices in my head telling me the things I should have said. I don't know why I let you go, oh I learned the hard way. Tell me it's not too late. Now my arms are open wide, they're hanging forever there, waiting forever, for you. I won't give up on you this time cause I ain't holding up, for nobody else. It's gotta be you."

🖤 Blind (Acoustic) - PRETTYMUCH

I can just see jungkookie laying alone in a motel bed pretending this is seriously over, crying himself to sleep and when he closes his eyes all he sees is oc. "I lose my mind before I see you and I separated, no I'm so scared to lose you, never choosing to let go. Love's so fragile, anything could happen, and we know. Hearts made of glass, but somehow we last. Yeah we made it, no I would rather be without vision 'fore I ever watch you leave. [...] I'd be better off blind. [...] When I close my eyes all I think about is you."

🖤 Here To Stay - Josh Devine

Jungkookie is here to stay 😭 "My heart on the line, so you'll never doubt the mountains I'd climb for us now. It's all about us now. I fooled my heart, let it break. I know this time we won't fade cause all my love's here to stay. [...] Through the dark fight our way. I know this time I can change. [...] I'm giving up everything for this, we'll figure it out I promise."

🖤 Call You Mine - The Chainsmokers & Bebe Reha

I'm sorry but that's literally their story if you replace bar with diner. "When we thought that we couldn't get higher things started looking down. I look at you and you look at me like nothing but strangers now. Two kids with their hearts on fire, don't let it burn us out. Think about what you believe in now, am I someone you cannot live without? 'Cause I know I don't wanna live without you, yeah come on, let's turn this all around. Bring it all back to that bar downtown when you wouldn't let me walk out on you, yeah. You said, 'Hey, what you doing for the rest of your life?' and I said, 'I don't even know what I'm doing tonight'. Went from one conversation to your lips on mine and you said, 'I never regretted the day that I called you mine'."

🖤 Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia

This is what I imagine playing when oc just can't take it anymore and literally throws herself at jk and they hug so tight he can't breathe 😭💖 "I ache for love, ache for us, why don't you come, don't you come a little closer. So come on now, strike the match, strike the match now. We're a perfect match, perfect somehow, we were meant for one another, come a little closer. Flame you came from me, fire meet gasoline. [...] I'm burning alive. I can barely breathe, when you're here loving me." Also "I got all I need, when you came after me"

🖤 Can't Help Falling in Love - Haley Reinhart / Kina Grannis

Those are two separate covers but I just can't decide between them. You know just the whole 'so you really want me to stay?' 'yes we complete each other' vibe. "Shall I stay? Would it be a sin if I can't help falling in love with you? Like a river flows surely to the sea. Darling, so it goes, some things are meant to be. Take my hand, take my whole life too. For I can't help falling in love with you."

🖤 Best Years - 5 Seconds of Summer

This relates to the last chapter where jk realised he wants to build a life with oc. And this just sounds exactly like something he would say to her when they're sitting together on the couch 😢 "You've got a million reasons to hesitate but darling, the future's better than yesterday. [...] Gave you a million reasons to walk away. But I'll build a house out of the mess and all the broken pieces. I'll make up for all of your tears. I'll give you the best years. [...] I promise, darling, you won't regret the best years."

🖤 Black And White - Niall Horan

Same as the previous song and also this is literally their story. "That first night we were standing at your door fumbling for your keys, then I kissed you, ask me if I want to come inside 'cause we didn't want to end the night. [...] Yeah, I see us in black and white, crystal clear on a star lit night in all your gorgeous colors. I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life. See you standing in your dress, swear in front of all our friends there'll never be another. I promise that I'll love you for the rest of my life. Now, we're sitting here in your living room telling stories while we share a drink or two. And there's a vision I've been holding in my mind, we're 65 and you ask 'When did I first know?' I always knew."

Okay, okay so I gotta go on and hurry up with replying to your messages fjsdfjas. Excuse my lazy ass, but I really want to take my time with your messages and saDLY online classes didn’t let me until now 😔🤧

Honestly I totally agree with you, this is highkey how I imagine Namjoon to be in real life as well. Also no joke, working on Namjoon was always so much. I really loved his parts in the story. They were so healing for me to write hahfhads 💜 

Also I am literally so happy that you enjoyed Chapter 26 so much, it is one of my favourite chapters from the story as well. It is just so healing and cute. Like that part when Kook makes her all laugh and Namjoon is all like “damn that bitch laughs really weirdly” but Kook is all like heart eyes for her. do yOU HEAR ME CRYING IN MY ROOM?? 😔😭💜

Imma put the rest under “read more” because your bitch has a lot to say hahHAH

My Everything - Ariana Grande

Your description just hIT me like a truck. HAHAHHA BYE I am laughing in pain 😭😭 Oh god I don’t even know what to add because you described it just so perfectly well 😭😭 I caN’t here I am cryIng at the first song you recommended 😔

It’s Gotta Be You - Isaiah Firebrace

Okay lis t EN I am :( I will literally start sobbing right here and now 😭 like omfg that part when he is all like “When you walked away my heart tried to replace ya with someone like you, but I could never find it. I don't want to find it.” if that isn’t the reader trying to move on with Hoseok but realising just how much she needs Kook. But also at same time it’s Kook all trying to pretend that they have broken up, but ending up crying every night because he misses her so much. I will now cry 😭😭

Blind (Acoustic) - PRETTYMUCH

Okay you just changed my mind, this is IT. This is most definitely Kook being all sad and heartbroken in his motel room. Nooo lisTEN I AM FAR TOO EMOTIONAL I AM SOBBING :( Okay but also this part, listen this part: “I'm so scared to lose you, never choosing to let go [...] When I close my eyes all I think about is you. This is real love.” if that isnt them being all like “I’ll never let go again” later when they are cuddling in bed :( 

Here To Stay - Josh Devine

Okay... why are those lyrics literally so damn accurate?? Help I am scared? They are literally so accurate hgnfgnan bYE 😭😭😭 also omfg I didn’t know this song and I freaking love their voices. They just HIT right 😭 I can’t jajsdj like every song you’ve recommended as of now made me cry (in a good way) 😭 like just that part “We'll figure it out I promise cause all my love's here to stay.“ I will throw myself away 😭

Call You Mine - The Chainsmokers feat. Bebe Rexa

listen anonie I wanna smooch you. I do not know how you always manage to find songs that just F I T so right, I am comBUSTING 😭😭 gosh this is giving me such hardcore memories of how it felt like to start writing this story (lil fun fact for you guys, exactly one year ago I started working on the Cocktail Trilogy 😔) I can’t this would fit so well to a lil flashback, showing all the amazing times they had together. Like them just driving down the coast, the reader has her arms around his waist while Kook is sneaking a glance her way and smiles. Like just imagine 😭

Fire Meet Gasoline - Sia 

Omg the moment you described 😭 this is it. I can imagine it so clearly. How Kooks eyes widen in surprise at first before they flutter closed. How he nuzzles his face into her shoulder and twists her sweater in his fingers so she would never leave again. How she is squeezing her eyes shut and twisting his hair to press him even closer. Now that they are finally together again it feels so right. The world could burst into flames all around them and yet they wouldn’t let go. Nothing matters for them except the other person. 

And now I made myself sOB again  😔😭

Can’t Help Falling in Love - Hayley Reinhart / Kina Grannis

OKAY LISTEN NO JOKE I LISTENED TO THE KINA GRANNIS COVER WHILST WORKING ON THAT CHAPTER! I love that song so much and holy shit the lines you chOSE YES!! 😭😭 this is song is them 100%, I don’t make the rules and I thank you for recommending it 😭😭

Best Years - 5 Seconds of Summer 

Anonie you are out to make me cry 😭😭 (first of all I love 5sos so much) HOLY SHIT LISTEN THIS IS TOO MUCH 😭😭 I can’t, I literally can’t. This just broke me HHAHSH 😭😭 like if that song isn’t the moment when he is all like “you won’t regret it I promise. I’ll make you so happy.” liKE HOLY FUCK MY HEART IS ACHING 😭😭 anonie seriously thANk YOU, you don’t even want to know how often I have listened to this song whilst working on Purple Rain. Good god, this just awoke so many memories 😭

Black and White - Niall Horan

ANOTHER SONG I CONSTANTLY LISTENED TO WHILST WORKING ON PURPLE RAIN 😔 anonie I can’t believe that three songs of my “writing songs” also made you think of Purple Rain. Fuck I can’t, I’m currently listening to it and I am sobbing HAHAHH 😭 like okAY listen, do you want to know which scene I always think about when I listen to that song? The one day when Kook took her to a junkyard and then when they later drove up a mountain to watch the city. And it’s that moment when they are both just like screaming on top of their lungs and then end up falling into each others arms because they are just so goddamn fucking alive when they are together 😔

Honestly anonie thank you. This playlist was such an emotional rollercoaster to listen to (in a good way). Holy shit it awoke so many memories and fuck, you just get me and my story 😔 thank you anonie, I really fucking love you 😔💜

[allmymisters]

For the Love of Notes

I know you have Science class in here and I hope it’s ok to write you, but I think you’re really cute. Mr. Carr is in a good mood today, I think he might have had a date with Mrs. Cart this weekend. Ha ha! Hope to see you in the hallway again. I also just realized we went to pre-school together and I have a picture of you. If you write me back just leave it here for me.

Bye.

I remember writing a note to Alan Cormen in 7th grade. I left the note for him in my science lab drawer because I knew he sat at the same table. He wasn’t interested. Most the boys I had crushes on back then weren’t interested. When I moved to Richmond, I had the biggest crush of my life that lasted from eight grade through high school. I also wrote him a note commenting on his beauty and skateboarding skills. That also was a failed attempt at written confessions of love.

From 8th grade until the end of high school, notes were the highlights of my day. I never knew when I was going to get one or who it would be from. My girlfriends mostly exchanged with me all day and it was easy to scribe the bubble letters of yore while in Ms. Pilkington’s English class. I would occasionally get notes from my guy friends as well, usually with Misfits, Metallica, Iron Maiden, or skateboarding graffiti adorning them. I cannot forget the actual folding of the notes, you had to do the one with the “tab” that you would pull out to open it and people actually wrote the word “PULL” on it. Sometimes they would get elaborate and show up as triangles or origami. Notes would get passed in the hallway between periods, they were in my locker when I changed books, and sometimes you’d find them mysteriously in your notebook. I remember Freshmen year, sitting in Mr. Wilt’s World Studies class and exchanging notes with Meredith Snellings consisting only of lyrics from The Smiths, and I remember the notes I’d get from my friend Sara who had beautiful penmanship and always wrote incredibly concise and intellectual letters on music or a guy or the punk rock show we went to the past weekend. It was also where you penned your scandalous gossip:

What were Lindsey and MaryBeth doing at the show?! Those girls are such harlots trying to get with the guys in our scene. Oh and did you know that Nicki Owen is pregnant! I guess she won’t be on the cheerleading squad for much longer. I saw her crying in the bathroom. See you at lunch!

Yes we used the word “harlots” because it sounded better than “slut”. We also had NOTEbooks which were passed around between a group of friends. Each period a different girl would write and then pass it on the next. The first time a boy said he loved me was on a note, claiming I was the raddest girl at school. Swoon. Then he wrote me a letter two weeks later breaking up with me and then I wrote a letter to him telling him to fuck off. Notes were such a huge part of how we communicated back then and it was exciting if you got a note handed to you. Notes were the way to confess untold secrets, to profess love, and to tell your best friend she was being an asshole at lunch trying to be too cool. You’d discuss the new CD you bought over the weekend, write poetry, or plan out secret parties. It would come on loose leaf, colored or sometimes sketch book paper, but always with doodles or lots of hearts and signed with a LYLAS (Love ya like a sis) or Later Sk8ter or a See Ya . It was special because you knew they were taking time out of their day to put pen to paper.

So now, we have email, text, and video chatting, and to be honest when email came out I treated it with as much enthusiasm as I did getting notes. In the beginning, I’d light up with joy looking at my inbox. The emails I receive currently consist of telling me what to do, what to buy, how to buy it, what bills to pay, when to go to things, where to get the best deal, and so forth. I haven’t received a proper personal email in almost…6 years. Sure, I’ve received “Likes”, Emojis, texts pages long, but none of that written communication excites me, it’s just become commonplace and sometimes the only time you receive anything worth reading is to tell you that you’re being a certain way. It’s become a place where people can abbreviate feelings and sentiments, a text can have some pretty involved meaning, but something about it lingering there and the urge to have to answer it right away takes away from the significance, to me. Not even through Facebook Messenger do I receive a lot of correspondence. It’s all very direct and with serious need. It’s the place you contact people you don’t have email addresses for. I still find it oddly strange to announce the death and births and marriages online. There’s something impersonal about it, it lacks the tangibility of the sentiments. And yes, Facebook has replaced the folded papers of youth, but what are people actually saying on your wall? “HBD”? “I saw that!” “I was at that show!” Pruned and lackluster remarks.

When I lived in New York, each restaurant I dined in had postcards. I loved that. I used to sit and eat and actually write out a postcard to people and send it on the way home. I think we all still feel something when we get home and there is a card or a letter for us in the mail. The feel of it alone to tear open an envelope handwritten and addressed to you. When I was internet dating, I made it part of my criteria for them to have to correspond with me in some pen to parchment form. Seems odd to some, but I found it entertaining, the notes I’d get or the photo of notes I’d get if they were remote. The ones who actually carried it out were the ones I gave my time to, you can only get so many horrid dick pics in a day. I’d get post it notes:

Here lies my favorite thing to eat at lunch. Doesn’t it look delicious?

Then there was an arrow drawn to the sandwich.

I’d leave notes like this on my way out of Mister’s apartment and he told me he loved waking up to them, but he would rather wake up to me instead, (insert gagging here). Sweet right?

Thank you so much for the wonderful evening. Coffee is ready and I hope to see you later.

My ex husband and I were legendary for the notes he would leave each other, especially like when he would leave early for a tour:

I’m going to miss you so much baby. Have a great day! I love you!

or when I used to come by his apartment when we were dating and he wasn’t there:

Hi! I came by to say hello and see if you wanted to get something to eat. I listened to that Miles Davis CD you leant me and it was good! I’ll be around later if you want to hang.

to after 5 years of marriage, me leaving these types of notes:

Can you please take out the fucking trash and put the dishes away!

I think the art of letter writing has gone out with the art of conversation. I’m a sentimental fool, I have letters from decades ago that I keep in a box because one day I had hoped to share it with my kids and grandkids as a kind of historical recollection of the person I was or written proof of words of love that were volleyed back and forth between misters. To me, there is still something magical about receiving a letter. It’s the same feeling you get when you open a book, you know?

I decided that this year I would get back into letter writing or at least postcard writing. I was in Stella’s for lunch the other day and they had one in the checkbook, so I wrote a note to a friend of mine in Richmond. Seems silly, but I know when he got it he was thrilled.

Hi there! I’m sitting at Stella’s and was thinking about that place we used to go to in New York when you came to visit. OMG, I miss that place. This red wine I’m drinking right now is freakin’ delicious. How are you? We haven’t seen each other in ages, we should hang sometime soon. I hope all is well and I just wanted to send a hello and how are you. Tell Jamie hello for me!

Ciao, J

Who knows, maybe it will be reciprocated and I will come home to something other than what I owe someone or 20% off at Bed, Bath & Beyond. Mr. Spectacular started collecting nice pens and inks when we stopped seeing each other, I will bet anything he’s never written one love letter with them. Sometimes it’s nice looking at the pen strokes and not having the immediate urge to reply back, but when you do, it will take time and effort. We have gone back to collecting records, making cassette tapes, and going to barber shops, so why not delve into the lost art of writing. You remember that thing you do with a pen, right? If you want to really mess with someone, write one in cursive and send it to a millenial. They will think it’s some coded instruction. But, seriously, how much would you make someone’s day by simply sending a postcard. Have fun!