#CUE VIVID DESCRIPTIONS OF DISSOCIATION!!

[perfectly-clear-from-here]

not me purposefully getting off my face drunk just to write this house party chapter realistically. downing another can solely for research purposes.

[swatfraternities-blog]

[note: this submission contains a vivid description of an act of violence] 

I've shared this with only one other person, so I appreciate the promise of anonymity. By hosting this forum, you somehow provide a way to both reclaim and dissociate from these memories. My freshman year, I was at a frat with a few close friends, and I was slightly more intoxicated than I was used to being (read: slightly less aware, NOT blackout drunk - not that this should matter!). I was approached by a fraternity member, and we started talking. He was intoxicated, slurring his speech, swaying a little bit, etc. but I thought he seemed coherent enough. He wanted to tell me an interesting story, and being naive and curious, I told my friends it was ok if they left and I walked behind the frat house to hear his story. He told me a bulk of it, and then he began touching and kissing me. I told him no, I didn’t want that. I told him I didn’t want to do that. But he continued, holding tightly onto my arms and repeating how pretty he thought I was. He kept kissing me, he shoved one of his hands down my pants. He wouldn’t listen or respond to my bodily cues, and I shut down. I count myself lucky (ironic) because my friend called me, which provided an excuse to get out of there. And afterwards I never spoke about it.

[mechxnicxl-hexrt]

Clinical Diagnosis

I posted this a while ago but I lost it, so here it is again. 

Corvo Attano grew up a native to the southern country of Serkonos, surrounded by the many hundreds living in the near- derelict blue collar district. His father, a lumber worker, was killed in a working accident when Corvo was only 9 years old. As written by the character, his father’s death enraged him, saying it was not right of him to leave him so soon, and by such a means. For a time, he was greatly upset by his passing, as was his remaining family members. Corvo was then left to provide as the young man of the household. At 16, the young and fiery Serkonan entered a tournament of sword - play and won, earning him a place as captain in the Grand Guard. Corvo was now on his was to the top. His expertise in sword fighting, espionage, and understanding of military tactics was unmatched throughout the Empire. And so, when he was hardly 18, he was shipped from his homeland to the northern Isle and capital city of the Empire - Dunwall. It was there he was to reside, in the Imperial Palace, as not only a gift but a bodyguard to, first, Emperor Jacob Kaldwin, and later to his daugher, Jessamine Kaldwin.

Over his years of service as Royal Protector, the two grew to become lovers, and in 1827 - Corvo now 28 and Jessamine 22 - they had a daughter. Corrvo’s affiliation with the young princess’ conception was kept secret, even from young Emily until they deemed the time appropriate.

Life went on, though as problems arose in the capital city - plague, riots, and unrest - and the Empress grew to become more directly involved with the public uproar, the strain on her dearest bodyguard was immense. This tension would continue to rise, lessen, before coming to dawn on the spring of 1837. After a diplomatic journey of two months time, Corvo returned to Dunwall Tower. That day, no more than moments after his arrival, Jessamine was assassinated and Emily torn from her mother. All the while, the Royal Protector was hindered, unable to intervene, only to watch the tragedy unfold. Corvo was then beaten into unconsciousness, dragged away to face daily torment, and imprisoned for a crime he was irresponsible for. It was then he would await for the dawn of his execution.

In short, he escaped and reclaimed what was lost to him. His daughter, after months of high chaos, was rescued; those responsible faced befitting and ironic punishment, and the young Empress was returned to her throne to rule with her father at her side.

I have taken the liberty long before this assignment to analyze the effects of these events and altered character of Corvo Attano. Recounted by the character as “the worst day of his life,” Corvo has mentioned that his lover’s assassination plagues his mind daily. And I argue that his physical and mental torment in prison had little healing effect. Scenes from promotional cinematics and in-game animation does justice to showcasing the distress as well as anger in response to these events. Awakening from constant, vivid nightmares; his lack of trust and wariness towards anonymous and well - known individuals; his shrewd and calculated personality only to be heightened into something of lethality - to me, all of this shows a kind of great disturbance, and it can be shown that these events triggered more than righteous anger. It changed and molded Corvo into another man entirely.

Unspecified Depressive Disorder (w/ anxious distress)

As a bodyguard, it has always been his job to worry, to be shrewd as he is, calculated and attentive. Anxiety is a part of his job description. However, the sudden occurrence of the Empress’s assassination, the reigning fact that he failed to protect her, Corvo is vexed with the inclination that it could happen again. The specification includes feelings of tension, unusual restlessness, difficulty concentrating because of worry, and fear of the loss of control. Many, but not all of these, are certainly fitting to Corvo after the events of 1837 and his six months imprisonment.

Corvo has a habit, as directed by other characters (as he his voiceless in the first installation), of tension, and greatly so. It might play into the fact that he is a military man, his erect and sturdy stance and sure footing would of course be a part of that. However, after his escape from prison and taking up his temporary occupation of assassination, his allies describe him - as many do - as cold, with a thoughtful stare. Though his actions according to witnesses describe something else entirely. “Fights like a shadow. No one even saw it coming. Not until their neck snapped.” ; by others as “ … like a whirlwind. I’ve seen him take out an entire squad by himself.” With this sort of evidence, I could claim that though he may not fear his lack of control, Corvo cannot stop it as soon as it happens. He snaps, and allows hell to dictate his blade.

By the second installation, now aged 15 years, Corvo is a man reflecting on the winter of his life. He is paranoid, as made clear by game developers, and that he has taken the liberty to train his daughter, now 25, in combat. “Someday, people are going to come for you with knives, and I want you to be ready.” This uneasiness is snatching his focus from other duties, as shown clearly through actions and character motifs in the recently published novel. His paranoia, I believe, can be tied to this disorder, as well as being the root of others to be mentioned.

PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder)

This is the biggest issue I’ve been wanting to dig into with this character, and have been since I began looking more deeply into the game. Corvo, I feel, is prone to developing this disorder due to his attachment to what was lost and the six months following the disaster. PTSD symptoms include the following: Recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions; Recurrent distressing dreams of the event; Acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience; illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes,); Intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.

These are only a few of what could occur, and his actions to avoid the topic directly are admittedly unclear, however, writings from the character, monologues in the second installment, and short, cinematic evidence has the potential to prove that Corvo may suffer from a mild - moderate case of this disorder. Within the six month period of imprisonment, Corvo was faced with daily torture to various degrees, all to obtain a false confession, one that he would never give. I hesitate to bolden the fact that this was persistent for months at a time, and so I can infer that due to this constant maltreatment in every aspect, Corvo was bound to snap at any moment. Perhaps it was a slow onset, or perhaps it came in an instant. Admittedly, I cannot say, however, more is shown by this character in the second installment. By Corvo’s reactions to related and similar events, such as facing imprisonment, a coup - assassination attempt against the Empress, and becoming once again a man on the run, Corvo shows great anger and distress. Should he be faced with the recreation of the events of 1837, I feel that he would lose it all.