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#Can I Save Marriage By Myself
softshuji · 5 months
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Any men out there wanna pretend to be my bf to get my parents off my case about marriage? I am so so serious right now.
#my mom gave me a really really lonf lecture and upset me because her and my dad want me to start thinking about settling down ans getting#married. again. cos this comes up all the time. ans I reiterated that i do wanna marry and have kids. i know im 26 years old why do they'#think im also not aware of this??? like i suddenly forgot my own age and have my head in the clouds all the time. and i got so heated cos i#said they only believe in that in theory. in reality neither of them have accepted the idea od my leaving home or the idea of mw being with#a man. and they start freaking out if they even find out i talk to them so to say they want me to get married is so fucking naive#ans when i mentioned this and that they're more than ok w mt brothers talking tp women she said that if i wanted to settle down she could#talk to dad and they could “go about finding someone for me” and I've never been so pissed#i got so upset. why does everyone keep saying this to me. as if anyone my dad knows could ever be a half decent man#and the truth is they don't care if im in a happy marriage they've accepted that i won't be they only care that im gone and saving face in#front of family. that's all. it's always reputation it's always “what will people say?”#not once did love come up. not once did shw even imply that i should marryfor love#or that they hope i love someone and marry them. because they're more happy with the idea of me marrying for the sake of it than#they are at the idea of me finding genuine lovw#im not a fucking broodmare im not here to push out babies for the sake od reputation.#and then i said nor being married isn't the end of the world and she said “it's important that you settle down”#and i said im unwavering in my principles. she can call mw high maintenance like she loves doing but I'm not wavering on the#kind of man i want to be with and when i do marry him i want it to bw genuine. because be loves me and vice versa not because im ticking off#somethin from a damn checklist to appease them. and if being unwavering on my principles means staying unmarried then so be it.#my obligations are to god and myself and that's it#and y'know what??? i am in love with a boy already#and yet they don't care that i wanna be in love at all. no im just a puppet to follow a certain narrative in life live according to evergone#else has and that's it.#im done.#and then she tried to apologise by getting me a slice of cake and that somehow made me feel worse.#i dont want an apology. i want to be heard and actually listened to for once. i want someone to ask what i want. to actually give a shit#and love me cos it's me. not cos im some thing to further an agenda. or some toy or puppet that does your bidding.#is it so much??? to just want to be loved in return? to marry and live according to how i want to?? ans not want anyone to make these#decision's for me?#ruined my whole day.
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herawell · 11 months
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#negativity cw#mother mention cw#if there’s one good thing about last eeekend’s meltdown#now I know that even after almost a year of therapy which supposedly ‘saved’ her marriage to my dad#my mom still feels no compunctions about last year’s Dec 20 and 21 screamfests#where she told me she would be gifting my dad a divorce for Xmas and it would be my fault#for trying to [redacted] herself in front of me while I whisper screamed for her not to#for blaming me every year since age 13 for their marriage being in the rocks#after a year of therapy and imploring me to seek therapy myself#she still doesn’t regret any of it#I vowed to myself after last year’s Christmas meltdown that I would never get them any kind of anniversary gift again#not after a decade of being blamed as a child for their issues#and now I feel no remorse about that decision#no flowers no chocolates no cards no special surprises#I’m the eldest child and earning close to six figures and not a penny of it will go to celebrating their Union#and i don’t care how bad it makes me look#she can get a one-line ‘congrats’ in the family WhatsApp group chat and that’s it#you don’t get to scream at me every 18 months ever since I was 14#that I am the one strain on your otherwise faultless marriage#that it’s my fault my siblings will grow up in a broken home#that it’s my fault we’ll have to sell the family home of 30 years to pay for the divorce#and never apologize at all even years down the line when I’m an adult and you’ve had your ‘character development’#and expect me to celebrate your Union#it’s very very petty and idk if she’ll notice bc I’ve never really made anniversary gifts for them before#but that’s my revenge
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paterklatter · 8 months
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who up experiencing double internalized homophobia
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itsrobiyn · 11 months
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❄️me finally leaving a toxic/abusive relationship after a year and 7 months.
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❄️ This is literally a win for me. JUST LOOK AT THE TAGS LOL. Feminism is gonna shine in a new way for me now, I’m gonna get in a non profit to support against psychological and emotional abuse or sth.
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ALSO @werewolf-mp3
my sideblog hedgie (now novelcracker) with all the translation tips and all it was me lol
SORRY FOR DRAGGING YOU IN I’M JUST SO HAPPY AAAAAAAAH
sorry sorry just ignore it
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ame-to-ame · 23 days
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Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love 😭😭😭
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings 👍👍👍 which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack 😭 it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
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#i did a deep dive through some stuff looking for a really old wip that i was reminded of by a discord server#(alas did not find it :c#but oh my god#I booted up my old macbook that i haven't used in over 6 years just to see if maybe it was saved on there#and i found so much stuff#a lot of really bad memories/reminders of my marriage and ideals that i used to have#it was just not great and led to a whole fucking fiasco on my PC when I turned off the macbook cause fucking GOOGLE#but anyways I found some old fanfics that I wrote when I was like 15-17 lmao#it was like three different stories in one document for some reason but they were for two different fandoms? Why were they even together id#but it was sg1 and supernatural cause yeah I was that kind of teenager#(this was pre-tumblr era; i didn't join tumblr till i was like 20 and that was STILL 11 years ago)#i didn't even read the whole document cause the font size was all over the place for some reason and really hard to read#but i copy/pasted it into a google document so that i could remove it from that computer and read it again#definitely some OC's and very much of the Mary Sue variety#there was a whole family of OC's and I don't remember at all where I dragged those ones out of or what their story was supposed to be#but it's intrigued me tbh; maybe i can revamp them lmao#i caught myself in my own plot twist though cause i was reading it and had a WHAT moment at a reveal that i forgot about#this was clearly back before i felt the need to compile story notes too#either i had more confidence in my memory when ideas struck or i was just pulling all of it directly out of my ass#which the latter is way more plausible tbh#i'm going to read through this document more thoroughly tonight now that i have it as a uniform font size#it's nearly 20k words between the three or four stories in the document though which surprised me tbh#kee speaks#OH and also I found another really short blurb of some OC's that I have introduced here before#It's Tyr and Brennan from before I changed their names and I'm not entirely sure what my plan had been for it#but it's basically word vomit of me trying to get the imagery and visceral whump description of sensations onto the page#followed up with really cute comfort cuddling which made me all 'd'aww' over my own characters lmao#maybe I can run with that one and actually make it into a story
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This fandom created a myth about Lady Whistledown. Sometimes i wonder if i watched the same show. Let me make myself clear: While Penelope has to tell Colin the truth, because she loves him and he deserves it, LW helped the Bridgertons a lot actually. It saved them to have Daphne married to a creep ( and see how Violet wanted people to talk to reach LW and spread), saved Colin from a loveless marriage with children that he didn't know anything about it and saved Eloise. Yes, it saved Eloise. Eloise created and kept pushing the situation in her reckless pursuit. Eloise also didn't think about the consequences of her action towards the people working for LW, didn't listen to Penelope, didn't think about the risk she was putting people at. And while i understand her anger in not knowing, had she been a better friend, many other things would be different, because she truly never paid attention to what Penelope feels or want, she molded Pen to be whom she wanted and be her audience. And then, she left Pen with the choice of losing all she built and suffer consequences or pick the less harmful option: to make Eloise's scandal about politics, not romantic and save them both, plus Theo. The real ruin for Eloise would've been her being caught with Theo, something that was bound to happen as she was not careful at all. Why should Pen sacrifice all for Eloise? Would any of you sacrifice all ( job, family and possibly your liberty) for a friend who caused the bloody situation? I'm no hypocrite, i know i wouldnt. Not to mention Eloise bravado, to Pen she would say she wants to challenge society and doesn't care about what they think...but folded the moment she received a frown from the Ton. Shall we see who are LW victims, people that suffered real consequences? Lord Beerbrock. That's it. Marina is married, despite her lies and deceit. Colin? Nothing as well, in fact, happier than ever. Eloise? A few weeks of ostracism and she's back without a problem, without a romantic entanglement to ruin her. One that she clearly didn't really thought was deep enough to face society. The Bridgertons have more to thank LW than to hate her. And Violet and Anthony, i bet your asses, do think so, and see it. And The Queen? Are you watching the show? Have you seen Charlotte's personality? That woman loves the whole game with LW. And She loves to take it all, to receive the laurels of that society. As long as she can make it look like the won, and she can, easily, by revealing or be involved in revealing who is LW. See the whole KatexEdwina, how she handled the Ton there.
Anyway, just wanted to say something because some people have dreamed a LW that doesn't exist at all. Created on their own minds a boogeyman that wasn't simply reporting the truth with witty opinions but fabricating stories and lies to ruin lives, and that's simply not true. Never happened. There was never a lie created there. Only the truth, even about herself, as Pen was often damaged by her column.
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the-cooler-king · 1 year
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Trying to put a ring on it but also terrified for the funniest reason possible honestly
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sharlsworld · 4 months
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official milf & dilf - 𝐜𝐬𝟓𝟓 ✽
✿ carlos sainz x influencer!reader (obvi)
✿ the journey of carlos and his wife on their way to becoming parents
ᵃᵘᵗʰᵒʳˢ’ˢ ⁿᵒᵗᵉ ୨୧ i made this in the beginning of the year
🝮
june 7th, 2023
carloslovesyn
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liked by pierregasly and 78 others
carloslovesyn So baby Sainz is coming in february 2024
charles_leclerc I know bro, I was in the hotel room next to yours last month…
yn your so baby girl i love you hot daddy YUMYUMYUM 👅🫦
⤷ arthur_leclerc oh! 😄
⤷ yn fuck off butt slut
lilymhe yeah your married and she’s pregnant with your baby but she’s still mine
⤷ carlossainz55 Oh you wish
francisca.cgomes whatever 💔
alexandrasaintmleux why is this so aesthetic
landonorris i hope this means she’ll mature and not be so mean
⤷ yn you thought marriage would mature me, you know better by now
georgerussell63 That’s gonna be the most beautiful baby to ever exist
⤷ yn thanks to me
⤷ georgerussell63 Ok sure…
⤷ yn george russell you are my biggest opp
danielricciardo Looks like you got some strong swimmers, congrats mate!
⤷ yn 😭😭
🝮
thisisnotyn
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liked by haileybeiber and 108 others
thisisnotyn might’ve forgotten to take my birth control last month
carlossainz55 Your always forgetting something cariño 😂❤️
⤷ francisca.cgomes your such a millennial
⤷ carlossainz55 What’s that supposed to mean? 😐
anasainzvdec ♥️
lewishamilton Congratulations! ♥️
landonorris i’m scared to see what you will be like in the next 9 months
carmenmmundt Oh my goodness congrats your gonna be such good parents ♥️
⤷ thisisnotyn thank you so much carmen i love you
⤷ carmenmmundt I love you more y/n 🥰
oliviarodrigo MILF MILF MILF 🤤🤤
francisca.cgomes omg your gonna be such a good mom i can see it already 😩
alexandrasaintmleux already cant wait to meet baby sainz 😪
lilymhe your my hero y/n i wanna be like you when i grow up
⤷ carlossainz55 Aren’t you older then her?
⤷ lilymhe weren’t you already in school when she was born?
⤷ carlossainz55 You don’t always have to go there Lily 😔
🝮
september 19th, 2023
carloslovesyn
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liked by lance_stroll and 90 others
carloslovesyn The theory is true guys, face her north for a boy
charles_leclerc I wish your fans could see how you two really are
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux why are you always the first person to comment
⤷ charles_leclerc I always keep my notifications on for my man 😘😉
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux wow ok then.
yn baby boy 🩵
⤷ carloslovesyn Why don’t you call me baby boy?
⤷ yn oh jeez
alex_albon some things are better left unsaid chili
pierregasly thanks for the advice mate 😋
⤷ francisca.cgomes 😏
⤷ carloslovesyn Ok that’s enough
⤷ pierregasly so you can get freaky in the comments but not us?
⤷ carloslovesyn Not under my post 🚫
danielricciardo CARLOS SAINZ JR JR
⤷ landonorris jr jr 😭😭
🝮
thisisnotyn
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liked by zendaya and 97 others
thisisnotyn can’t wait for my boy to arrive
zendaya me and tom are sending all of our love from the uk! 🩵🩵
⤷ thisisnotyn awh i miss you two 🥹
⤷ tomholland2013 Sending spider-man merch over right now
roscoelovescoco Best’s Godmother to’s best’s mom!
⤷ yn i love you roscoe
francisca.cgomes i can’t get over how much of a baddie you’ll be 🫦
⤷ lilymhe going to combust just thinking about it
⤷ alexandrasaintmleux i know the feeling
⤷ carmenmmundt I catch myself thinking about it all the time
⤷ pierregasly ok that’s enough
⤷ alex_albon i’ve seen enough
⤷ charles_leclerc Every single post of y/n
⤷ georgerussell63 Well now I know what you all feel like…
⤷ carloslovesyn Why are you all obsessed with my wife?
⤷ lilymhe why are saying that like a gazillon other people aren’t
fernandoalo_oficial So excited to meet him next year! 💙
maxverstappen1 I’m sending redbull merch over right now
⤷ carlossainz55 Don’t even think about it
⤷ maxverstappen1 Might be saving you money for next season 🤷‍♂️
⤷ yn OH?!
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january 1st, 2024
yn
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liked by kyliejenner and 17,028,779 others
yn see you next month hermano 🤍
carlossainz55 First
♥︎ by author
hoeforsainzzz WTF JAW DROPPED HEART STOPPED THIS GIRL JUST HARD LAUNCHED HER PREGNANCY 😭
leclerc_pascale Can’t wait to meet him ❤️
landonorris let’s pray he doesn’t get your meaness
smoothoperator55 BABY SAINZ? BABY BOY SAINZ? DILF CARLOS? MILF Y/N?
ynissocutiepatootie STOP MY HEART CANT TAKE THIS IM SHOOK
alexandrasaintmleux he’s so loved already ❤️
hearts4lando WASN’T EXPECTING THIS ON THE FIRST DAY OF 2024
beloved.hamilton EVERYONE SHUT UP CARLOS IS A DILF AND Y/N IS A MILF 😨
ynstan4lyfe HELO ME AHDNANAWWOWO
lilac.leclerc OH MY FUCK BALLS
slutmeoutlewis YOU CANNOT JUST DROP THIS TYPE OF NEW ON A RANDOM ASS MONDAY
🝮
carlossainz55
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liked by schecoperez and 10,923,846 others
carlossainz55 Next month
comments for this post have been limited
charles_leclerc Congratulations mate! I am so happy for you and y/n ♥️
♥︎ by author
landonorris congratulations to the best mate and to the meanest person i know! ♥️
⤷ yn why you always insist on being a hater
⤷ landonorris girl your the biggest hater i know don’t even
anasainzvdec So excited 🥰
♥︎ by author
fernandoalo_oficial Congrats Carlos & Y/n! I wish you a happy and healthy baby ❤️
♥︎ by author
danielricciardo carlos sainz jr jr
♥︎ by author
blancasainzv Can’t wait to meet my nephew! 🤍
♥︎ by author
scuderiaferrari Can’t wait to see him in the paddock next year 😍
♥︎ by author
carlossainzoficial ♥️
♥︎ by author
hoeforsainzzz i love how everyone’s acting like they didn’t already know 😭
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march 29th, 2024
yn
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liked by therock and 19,204,673 others
yn Mathéo James Sainz 2.14.24 ♥️
carlossainz55 Mi sol y mi luna ♥️
⤷ yn i love you chili
⤷ carlossainz55 I love you the most mami
⤷ hoeforsainzzz MAMI??? IM GONNA NUT
⤷ yn me too girl 😭
bretmanrock i love you queen your my hero
♥︎ by author
lilymhe MILF MILF MILF
♥︎ by author
francisca.cgomes hot mama & cutie baby
♥︎ by author
alexandrasaintmleux motherhood looks so good on you 😫😫
♥︎ by author
carmenmmundt Valentine baby 🥰
♥︎ by author
⤷ georgerussell63 Carmen only thirsts on the priv I guess
♥︎ by author
⤷ lovely.leclerc oh? 😭😨
lewishamilton Congratulations you two ❤️
♥︎ by author
danielricciardo Same puppy dog eyes like his dad
♥︎ by author
alex_albon i bet he misses his favorite uncle already
⤷ charles_leclerc Girl what…
⤷ landonorris don’t even 🤣🤣
⤷ charles_leclerc Guys I was basically there when that baby was conceived i’m the favorite uncle
⤷ landonorris tf you are i was the first in the lobby when she went into labor
⤷ charles_leclerc Cause I was out buying SUSHI for her after she gave birth SO HA
⤷ landonorris i built his crib
⤷ charles_leclerc The crib I bought for them 🤣 suck my toes nowins I win
⤷ alex_albon well shit
⤷ yn charles is his favorite lando…you should’ve been more considerate when you ate the WHOLE TUB of ice cream i bought
⤷ landonorris my villian origin story.
🝮
carlossainz55
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liked by pierregasly and 10,924,785 others
carlossainz55 February 14th, 2024 me and my wife welcomed our baby boy Mathéo James Sainz into the world ♥️
comments for this post have been limited
yn i love you papi
♥︎ by author & 2,827,901 others
⤷ carlossainz55 I love you the most mami, always and forever
♥︎ by yn and 1,092,545 others
charles_leclerc ♥️♥️
landonorris uncle lan misses matty already
carlossainzoficial My grandson ❤️
pierregasly bro doesn’t know how lucky he got in the gene compartment
scuderiaferrari Future f1 driver 😍❤️
⤷ thisisnotyn not for you guys 🤣🤣
⤷ yn oops sorry my account got hacked 😂
alexandrasaintmleux garçon précieux 🥰
landonorris dilf
⤷ yn go away whore
⤷ landonorris i am APPALLED by this behavior y/n.
🝮
carlossainz55
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liked by arthur_leclerc and 4,018,942 others
carlossainz55 My whole world 🌍❤️
yn i love you cheesy boy 🤍
⤷ carlossainz55 I love you the most honey
landonorris yuck 🤮
⤷ yn if you had a girlfriend you would be the same way, unfortunately that day has yet to come 🤣🤣💀
alexandrasaintmleux cuties ❤️❤️❤️
francisca.cgomes MY whole heart 🥰
⤷ carlossainz55 You, Lily, and Alex are my BIGGEST and only opps
⤷ francisca.cgomes TAKE THE L 🤣🤣
lilymhe so precious 🥹🥹💗
charles_leclerc Carlos never lets a day go by without him talking about Mathéo & y/n
♥︎ by author
scuderiaferrari Our favorite family ❤️
carloslovesyn cuteness overload fr
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m0llygunn · 1 year
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Eddie's Notes (eddie munson x fem!reader one-shot)
summary: Eddie's a friend you trust... you trust him enough to have your first time with him... and your second.
tropes: virgin!eddie, virgin!reader, friends to lovers, bad at sex eddie but eager to learn (eventually) warnings: 18+! mature language, pet names (baby, pretty/sweet girl), smut, p in v sex, mentions of reader's period, oral (f receiving), virginity loss a/n: a lot of people write eddie as being good in bed (myself included) but I thought it'd be fun to dive into a realm of him being not good (but he is a cutey little dedicated sweetheart once he gets his act together). reblogs and comments are appreciated profusely <3 wc: 10.4k+
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“Do you want to do something else?” You ask over the top of Eddie's copy of The Hobbit. 
“Not really anything else to do.” Eddie replies, from the other end of his bed, only sparing you a short glance before going back to his guitar. 
You’ve been thinking about it for a while and you trust Eddie, you really do. 
Saving yourself for marriage is not in the question. Saving yourself for the love of your life doesn’t seem probable. So someone you trust is the best case scenario. And you really trust Eddie. 
The best part is you’re pretty sure it’ll be an even playing field with Eddie. In his crude nature, with sex jokes and innuendos, it was hard to decide whether or not he has but you’re almost certain he hasn’t. 
Almost certain. 
“Are you a virgin?” You ask, words spilling from your lips before you can stop them. 
“What?” He laughs. You shrug before realizing that maybe that question is outside of your realm of friendship. Maybe what you actually want to ask him is eons outside of your friendship. 
Sure, you’ve been friends with him for a few years now but you’re not the best of friends. Good enough friends to hang out a couple times a month doing nothing beyond enjoying each other's company, but it’s not like you’re best best friends. 
“If you don’t want to answer, that’s fine. I guess that was super weird for me to ask, sorry.” You say, going back to hiding your face in his book. 
“No— no, not weird at all.” He says with a nervous chuckle. 
You give him a moment to answer the question but he doesn’t. When you peek out from behind the book again, his gaze is fixed forward, stuck in a trance of thought.
“Sorry.” You say again.
“No— don’t be.” He shakes his head, blinking away whatever he was thinking. “I’m um, uh— not really?” He says, adding an inflection to his statement like he’s asking you.
“Not really?” You ask, looking for clarification but he just shrugs. You assume the conversation is done but as soon as you go back to the book, he speaks again. 
“I… have done stuff. You know, a little rub and tug from the hideout’s finest,” He says, making a crude pumping motion with his fist over his guitar covered crotch. “but… to elaborate, uh— no actual penetration, I guess.”
“Penetration?” You say, laughing softly at his choice of words. 
“Yeah… never put it in?” He says again like he’s asking you if it’s an okay answer. 
“Fair enough.” You smile, nodding your head. 
The both of you sit in silence, Eddie shifting uncomfortably in his spot. You expected him to counter ask your question, but he just sits there, fingers drumming on the body of his guitar.
“Why did you ask me that?” He asks with a genuine curiosity, finally breaking the silence. 
“You don’t want to know if I’m a virgin?” You ask, purposefully ignoring his question. 
“Are you?” 
“Yeah.” 
Eddie’s eyebrows rise, hiding beneath his bangs before he comically relaxes himself, putting on an image of indifference. “Oh… me too.” He says coolly.
“So I’ve heard.” You reply, rolling your lips inwards to try and hold back your laugh. You twist in the bed, putting the book down on the floor.
“Why are we talking about this?” He asks quietly, following your lead and setting his guitar down on the bed beside him. 
“Do you… want to…” You ask, trailing off, shrugging your shoulders.
“Want to…?” He asks, sitting up straighter. 
“You know?” You say, raising your eyebrows hoping he says it so you don’t have to. Faux indifference thrown to the wind, his own eyebrows rise once again, eyes going wide in disbelief. 
The silence goes unperturbed until his mouth pulls into a flatline before dropping agape, his eyes narrowing in on you. 
“I think you’re gonna have to spell this one out for me, cause I think I know what you mean, but I am not gonna look like an idiot if I’m thinking something entirely different than what you’re thinking.” He rambles, hands working overtime twisting his rings mindlessly. 
“Do you not want to?” You ask, your eyes flitting to his nervous habits on full display. 
“No I do!” He says a little too loudly, cheeks going red in embarrassment. “But… clarify please cause I really don’t want to be reading this wrong.” He says, flattening his palms on his legs, as he clocks that you’ve noticed his fidgeting. 
“Do you want to have sex with me?” You ask as plain as can be. All of Eddie's fidgeting stops immediately. He freezes, his eyes going wide, and you feel your own nerves pick up.
It takes a moment but when he comes back alive, his eyes finding yours. “You’re not joking right?” He asks, his gaze penetrating so deeply it almost becomes too much.
“I’m not joking.”
“Uh— then… yes.” He says calmly.
“Try not to sound so enthusiastic.” You laugh nervously, feeling uncomfortable in the thick tension of the room.
“Shit— I’m sorry. I’m just— it took me by surprise. But I do! Really do, seriously!”
“Okay then.” You smile, feeling your nerves relax. “Do you want to… now?”
He nods his head vigorously before pausing with a look of defeat. “Shit, yeah I do but Wayne was supposed to be helping a friend fix up their car. He might be home in a few hours.”
“A few hours? Is it… is it gonna take that long?” You laugh.
“Probably not.” He says, cheeks flushing dark red. He starts wringing his hands again, his nervous habits becoming more and more prominent by the second.
“Eddie, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, you can tell me if you don’t want to. I won’t be upset, I swear.” You say, sitting up straighter to look at him. 
“No— no god no. I mean yes— I do. I want to. I just— fuck, I didn’t think we’d be doing this today.” He says, eyes flickering over the room before meeting you with a sheepish smile. 
“Should I take my clothes off?” You ask, toying at the hem of your shirt. 
“Oh shit— yeah. Yeah, and I’ll take mine off?” He asks, grabbing at the hem of his own shirt. 
“Yeah. I think so.” You smile, pulling your shirt off. 
“I’m just gonna— yeah, just gonna move this first.” He says, picking up his guitar and pushing himself up off the bed. When he turns from hanging it up, he stops, eyes flickering over your shirtless body. Trying not to lose your nerve, you quickly unclasp your bra, pulling it down your arms, and dropping it off the side of the bed. Eddie’s unwavering eye contact with your chest makes your skin heat, playing on your nerves, especially since he's stood in the middle of his room not saying anything.
“Eddie.” You say, folding your arms over your chest. 
“Right.” He mumbles, jumping into action, pulling his own shirt over his head. He moves quickly to unbutton and unzip his pants and with a deep breath, you shimmy out of your own, pushing them off the edge of the bed. 
“Underwear too?” He asks, still standing in the middle of his room.
“I guess.” You laugh.
“Right. Stupid question.” He says, shaking his head. You watch as his hands go to his boxers and within a blink he’s pushing them down until they pool around his feet, his hard length becoming your main focus as it bobs against his lower belly. You take in the sight of him, still standing in the middle of his room, naked. Your eyes linger on his erection until his hands cover it. 
“Sorry.” You mumble shyly, shifting on the bed to tug down your own underwear. 
“Don’t be sorry.” He says, clearing his throat. 
“Are you going to come over here or…” You ask, dropping your underwear to land in the pile of your other discarded clothes. 
“Yeah.” He says, swallowing harshly. He steps to the edge of the bed, about to climb on until he stops. “Condom, uh— gimme a minute.” He says, eyes darting around the room. “I have one somewhere, just…” He mumbles as he bounds for his desk.
With his back turned, you let your eyes rake over him. He’s cute, very cute. His nerves are endearing; however, Eddie’s always been brash, you didn’t expect him to be so jittery. In a weird way, you like it, because it’s distracting you from a lot of your own nerves. You trust him, entirely. You’ve never not trusted him.
He opens drawer after drawer scrambling through his belongings until proudly holding up the little silver square.
“Right, good.” You say, trying to sound casual. 
“Are you okay, like, do you need anything?” He asks, stumbling his way back to the bed over his messy floor. 
“No, I’m good. Just need you, I guess.” You say, motioning down to his crotch, cringing at yourself for saying it like that. 
“Right. I’ll… put this on then.” He replies. He settles on the bed beside you, pausing before tearing open the condom package. He pauses again.
“Do you need me to… help?” You offer, hoping you don’t sound as dumb as you think you do.
“Uh, I’m good. I think, just— slide it on there.” Eddie says, rambling as he fumbles with the condom. “Just like… that. There. Okay.” He coaches himself, turning his upper body towards you when it’s finally on.
“Do you wanna…?” You ask, motioning for him to get on top of you. 
“Yeah, sure, yeah.” He rambles, pushing himself up. You spread your thighs for him, his hips fitting between your bent knees. His movements are awkward, which you also didn’t expect from Eddie. Normally, he’s clumsy but he’s very forthcoming, very sure of himself. You're used to the way he thrashes through life, kind of like a bull in a china shop, but right now he’s tiptoeing, treading very lightly.
“Should I put my arms here?” He asks leaning forward so a hand rests on the bed next to your head.
“However you’re comfortable.” You say softly, trying to coax some of his nervousness away.
“Let me… just… figure this out.” He rambles again, adjusting his body first with both hands caging you in, then switching back to just one, before leaning back and resting on his knees.
It takes you a minute, but you clue in that every adjustment is centered around the least physical contact between the two of you. “You can touch me, Eddie.” You say, hoping he’ll ease into the moment.
“Right. Yeah of course.” He says, shaking his head. He tentatively lets his hands find your bent knees. His touch is feather light, obviously unsure.
“Should I just…” He asks, looking down between where your bodies almost meet. His eyes linger between your thighs, hands gripping harder on your knees, and it makes your belly flip. A good flip, more like a flutter. You like how his eyes become darker, and his mouth slightly drops. It’s cute. He’s cute. 
“I’m ready when you are.” You exhale, trying not to laugh as his eyes glaze over in a dazed look, still focused between your legs.
“I’m ready, so if you’re ready.” He replies mindlessly, still not looking up. 
“Eddie, you can put it in.” You laugh softly. His eyes finally flicker to you, catching your smile, and he mirrors it as best as he can, albeit with a blush of pink across his cheeks for being caught staring so long. 
“Right… I’ll do that.” He replies. He takes his length in his hand, running his fist up and down once. It’s a casual action, practiced, and you get a glimpse of what Eddie’s really like without the jumbled nerves. 
He leans in the slightest bit and you feel the tip of his head prod at your slit, sliding down slowly. He works himself down, parting your slit until he’s resting just at your opening. You think he might start pushing in, but he pauses, keeping himself entirely still. 
“Uh— sorry but, this is the hole right?” He asks, cheeks flaring red.
You don’t blame him, there is a lot going on down there and you know he just wants to be sure. He's being careful, asking questions when he’s unsure, he doesn’t want to hurt you, but it still makes your face turn the tiniest bit hotter because of the intimacy you’re not used to. 
“That’s the one.” You say awkwardly, moving your own hand down to your center to help guide him. 
Before you can even wrap your hand around him, he interrupts you, making you draw your hand back. 
“Wait do we— I don’t have lube or anything.” He says, eyes flitting to yours. 
“Maybe… spit? That’s what other people use, right?” You offer with a shrug.
“Yeah… I’ll just…” He says before dribbling over you. Missing completely, his glob of spit lands on your lower stomach making you laugh. He looks embarrassed at first, but as he watches you laugh, his lips slowly break into a smile before he eases into his own laughter. 
“Why are we being so awkward? We’re friends, this is fine, right?” You say, exhaling, trying to compose yourself from your laughter.
“Yeah, we’re friends… having sex.” He says with a heavy exhale.
“I’m still me and you’re still you, we don’t need to be nervous.” You say, looking into Eddie’s eyes. He nods, taking another deep breath and letting it out and you can feel some of his nerves leave him. He nods again and you smile at him. 
“I’m still me, you’re still you.” Eddie echoes. He takes a final deep breath before looking at you, returning a flash of a smile. 
You spit in your hand, bringing it to your core, getting yourself wet. You motion for Eddie to come closer and when he does, you wrap your fingers around him enough to line him up with your entrance. 
“Okay, so just push in. But slow please.” You guide. 
“Slow, got it.” He replies, hips beginning to move towards you.
He takes your words to heart, pushing in extremely slow. So slowly, you aren’t even sure if he’s moving, apart from the noises he’s trying to hold back— and there’s a lot of them, which must mean he’s getting something from this. 
You move your hand to his hip, pulling him towards you and he moves a little faster at your guidance. You start to feel a pinch, then it turns into a stretch. He continues pushing in slowly, the stretch turning to a very mild burn.
“Are you almost in?” You ask, squeezing your eyes closed.
“Almost, like another inch, maybe?” He says, hand squeezing your knee.
“Okay— good.” You breathe.
“Are you okay?” He asks, movements stilling.
“Just stings, but keep going.” You say, trying to unclench the muscles you keep tensing by accident. He complies, pushing into you slowly again.
His hips finally press flush against yours and Eddie stills. Looking up at him, you see his mouth working back and forth, eyes glancing over your body like he’s trying not to look too hard or too long at any particular spot. You’re about to tell him that he can touch you again but his mouth opens, sucking in a breath like he’s about to say something. 
“You’re really warm. Like… inside.” He says. His voice sounds strangled but you can tell he’s trying to come across as casual. You can’t help but laugh.
This is what you wanted. It’s easy. You feel comfortable enough to laugh. You trust Eddie and despite his nerves, he’s doing a good job. 
With your hand on his hip, you keep him still, giving yourself time to adjust, and he complies, taking deep breaths that you subconsciously align your own breathing to. 
When the sting relaxes into a dull ache, you take a final deep breath before relaxing your grip on Eddie.
“Okay, you can move, Eddie.” You say, pushing against his hip. He looks up at you long enough to nod, before moving his eyes back down to your center.
He pulls out slowly, just a touch faster than he pushed in and it’s such a foreign feeling to you. It’s on the cusp of being something you might enjoy… but not quite there. 
When he pushes back in, it’s a little quicker and you get the same almost pleasure feeling. 
“Fuck.” Eddie groans, hands squeezing harshly on your knees.
“It’s okay?” You ask. The tone of his voice catches you off guard. You’ve never heard Eddie sound like that before.
“Y-yeah. You’re really tight.” He says in that same tone. It’s deep, it’s raspy, and he sounds out of breath. It’s hot. Your stomach twirls, and you watch his face as it contorts in pleasure, his bottom lip tucked between his teeth and his brows pinched harshly together. 
He looks like he’s really enjoying it, but… apart from seeing him like this, you aren’t.
You shift your hips, trying to find any ounce of pleasure but if anything, it just feels like he’s prodding at you. Not uncomfortable but definitely not pleasurable.
“Eddie, does this… feel good for you?” You ask tentatively. You know the answer, you can tell by the way his breathing has turned into little pants but you figure there must be something you’re missing. You can’t help but feel a pinch of jealousy that it feels that good for him. 
“Fuck. Yeah, feels really good.” He groans, his thrusts slowly picking up in pace. 
You lay still, watching Eddie thrust in and out of you. The image of him, face contorted in pleasure, and all the breathy little gasps spilling from him makes a hint of heat pool in your lower stomach, but this isn’t at all like you thought how sex would feel. 
Maybe your next question comes out a little mean, but his radiating pleasure taunts you. It’s juvenile, but you can’t help but think how it’s not fair.
“Aren’t you gonna ask me if it feels good?” You watch as Eddie’s mouth drops open even further, his chest rising and falling harshly. His eyes squeeze shut and you aren’t even sure if he heard you. 
“I’m gonna cum— shit. I’m sorry. I can’t- f-fuck.” He groans, his thrust becoming uneven, stuttering against you. 
“Oh.” You say quietly. His thrusts are short and shallow until his movement still, cock pulsing inside you. 
And just like that, it’s over. 
“Jesus Christ.” Eddie groans, his hold on your knees becoming almost bruising. You feel a little more heat pool in your core seeing Eddie come undone but at this point, you know it’s over.
You continue laying still, watching Eddie’s face slowly unwind, eyes fluttering open. He pulls out, moving his way to lay back beside you on the bed, his breathing still harsh and ragged.
You watch as his head hits the pillow, eyes closing as he sucks in a deep breath, exhaling it harshly. His eyes open again, meeting your gaze. 
“That was— holy shit.” He says breathily.
“Yeah?” You ask, trying not to sound disappointed because that most definitely was not ‘holy shit’ to you. Quite frankly… that was just shit. You’re not upset, not in the slightest, just jealous. Envious that it was so easy for him and not you. It’s irrational, and you know you shouldn’t be mad at him, but it doesn’t stop the bud of spite inside of you. 
“Did that— sorry. Was that good for you?” He asks, head tilting towards you. 
“No.” You say flatly. Your eyes go wide at your answer because you most definitely didn’t mean to say that, it just slipped without thinking. 
And as you watch his face fall, every ounce of jealousy, envy, spite, anything you were feeling just seconds ago leaves you entirely, being replaced with regret for that one little word. You shouldn’t have said that. 
Eddie was nervous. He was shy. He was tentative. Gentle. Careful. Respectful. 
It was endearing. You found him cute. 
You wanted it to be with Eddie because you trust him. He did everything you wanted. 
It was his first time too.
“Oh” He says, eyes going round with disappointment. 
“No! I mean it was fine. You did good Eddie, we’re no longer virgins!” You say excitedly, trying to fix your slip of the tongue. You smile but his face falls flat. You feel your heart pang as he deflates in front of you. 
“Yeah… I’m sorry. Maybe— uh… I don’t know. I’m sorry.” He says quietly, hand raising to his face, rubbing aggressively over his mouth and chin. You can tell he’s not buying your cover up and you genuinely feel bad.
“Don’t worry about it, Eddie. It was just the first time. I'm sure it’ll get better?” You say, trying to fix the sad look in his eyes but it only gets worse.
“That bad, huh?” He asks, and his demeanor breaks your heart. You should have kept your mouth shut.
“Don’t feel bad!” You say, sitting up to get a better look at him.
“Fuck— I’m so sorry.” He huffs, hand going back to rubbing over his jaw.
“No, don’t be sorry! It can only go up from here, right!” You try your best to fix your mistake but it’s not working. 
“It was that bad.” He groans, hiding his face in his hands. 
“Eddie, please don’t feel bad.” You say, moving to be able to fully look at him. “I wanted to lose my virginity to you because I trust you, Eddie. And it was perfect in that sense. You didn’t hurt me at all, and I really, really don’t want you to feel bad.” You say genuinely. You let your hand rest on his arm, trying to pull his hands away from his face.
“Fuck, I’m sorry.” He says again, palms pressing harder into his eyes despite you trying to pull them away.
“Eddie. I’m so serious. I wanted it to be with you for a reason. Please, please, don’t feel bad.” You try a final time.
He stays, hands covering his face for a while and you don’t know what else you could say to make it better so instead, you opt for getting dressed. Even when you shift on the bed, he doesn’t move.
It only takes a few minutes for you to be fully dressed. He laid still the whole time, hands pressed to his eyes, and you’re convinced he fell asleep.
“Maybe I should go?” You whisper quietly. His hands fly away from his face, eyes widening. His gaze takes you in, realizing that you’re fully dressed and he sits up quickly.
“You don’t have to.” He rushes out, his wide eyed gaze meeting yours.
“I probably should, right? It’s getting late.”
“Right…” He agrees sitting up. “I can drive you, if you want?”
“It’s nice out, I can walk.” You offer.
“I'll drive you, just give me a minute.” He replies, brushing off your comment.
“Sure.” You say politely, grabbing your bag from the floor.
You wait for him in the living room and it’s only a few minutes before he’s fully dressed. Wordlessly, you both go outside, and get in the van.
After a silent ride, he parks in front of your house.
“Eddie, I’m sorry. I feel like I ruined your first time.” You say.
“Shit. You have nothing to feel sorry about. I’m the only one who should be sorry.” He says, huffing an almost laugh.
“Don’t be sorry. Eddie, I told you already. I trust you and because of that it was a great first time.” 
Eddie shrugs, not accepting your sentiment. 
“I’ll see you?” You ask quietly.
“Yeah, see you.” He nods.
‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹
It's been just over a week since you and Eddie slept together. A week of radio silence. Sure, it’s not like you two hung out everyday before, but you thought that, maybe, that might be different after you slept together. But nope. 
You waited a while to call, trying to give him space since that night didn't exactly end as you hoped. While you waited, you hoped he would call, but he didn’t. 
Eventually, you ended up calling, but you got his uncle, who said Eddie’s been busy the last few days and he hasn’t seen him much. Later that night, Eddie called, but your mom answered since you were staying at a friend's house. You called again yesterday, Eddie wasn’t home. You had expected him to call that night but he didn’t. And you’ve been thinking about it all day since it’s summer vacation, your parents aren’t home, and you just have a lot of time.
When there's a knock at the door you fully expected it to be a salesman or jehovah witness, but you were surprised to see Eddie. You didn't even have a chance to speak before his hand was on the door, pushing it open as wide as it could go.
“I want to try again.” He says, a slight breathiness to his voice as if he just rushed his way over here.
“What?” You ask confusedly.
“I want to try again.” He says a little louder before shrinking a little. “If you’ll let me, I mean. Only if it’s okay with you.”
“You… want to try again?” You ask, finally clueing in to what he’s talking about.
“Yeah. I feel fucking bad that I came—” He stops himself, turning around, looking to the street. “Can I explain inside?” He says, wincing slightly. 
You usher him inside, spotting your neighbor on their porch and you pray to god they didn’t hear Eddie and if they did, they remain oblivious to what he was getting at. 
As soon as the door is shut, Eddie’s speaking again.
“I meant to start with an apology.” He says, voice softer and less breathless.
“Eddie, I really don’t want to hear you apologize again. It was fine.”
“It wasn’t.” He states, raising his brows. He relaxes into sincerity, meeting your gaze. “I want to apologize for what happened after.” He says, pausing for any objections from you. You let him continue. “You were being really nice about it and I… I was being selfish. You already didn’t enjoy yourself, and then I made it your job to make me feel better about it. That was really shitty of me.” 
“I felt bad, you know. It was your first time too.” You shrug.
“But you shouldn’t have had to coddle me like that. It wasn’t fair to you. I’m sorry.” He says softly. You can tell he’s genuinely sorry for it and you really do appreciate it. You nod, and he rolls his lips inwards, nodding back. 
“Thank you.” You say. He nods again.
The room stills, the both of you in silence. You can tell Eddie wants to keep talking. 
“So… outside you were saying?” You lead, prompting him. He catches your eye, smiling appreciatively for you being the one to break the silence.
“I was saying outside that I feel terrible that I came so quickly and it wasn’t good for you and I want to try again.. if you’ll let me.” He blunders out. 
You raise your brows. This is more like the Eddie you know. Straight forward, to the point. 
“I um— I don’t know what to say.” You laugh softly. You do feel a hint of apprehension. You’ve already accepted that the sex was bad but the part that really got you was what happened after. Not his sulking, but after you left. The not talking part. That was the last thing you wanted to come from this.
Despite your feelings, you can’t help but light up a bit at Eddie’s enthusiasm. His eyes are wild with it. 
“You don’t have to say yes. But I did a fuck ton of research and look—” he says pulling out a folded piece of lined paper from his back pocket, starting to uncrumple it. “I took notes and everything. I want to do it right, so if you’ll let me…”
“You took… notes?” You ask amusedly. He holds the paper out to you and you cautiously take it.
“Yeah. I’m dedicated to this. I told you, I feel fucking terrible. I should have listened more, asked you questions, done so many things differently. So I just— I don’t know.” He says shrugging, hands wringing themselves.
You glance down at the paper to see his scribbled writing covering every inch of the paper. Your eyes gravitate to a very technical diagram of a vagina that he drew out. 
“I don’t want to look at this.” You laugh, shoving the paper back to Eddie. 
“Shit, sorry.” He laughs nervously. He goes pink in the face. Not exactly out of nerves like before, but more so flustered. It’s cute.
You can’t help but bite. 
“So… what exactly did research entail?” You ask, holding back your smile.
“I went to the library first. Looked at some books there. Read some magazines… asked a few people.”
“People?” You question worriedly.
“No— no don’t worry! I didn’t tell them it was you or anything. It was mostly just books and magazines that I read, I swear. I just wanted to make sure some things were actually true.”
“And… you really want to do this?” You ask. You're intrigued and his effort is very endearing. You did say that it could only get better…
“Yes! But only if you’re comfortable with it. Doing it once was generous— so if you say no, I understand.”
“Generous?” You laugh.
“Yeah. Like, that was a cool thing to do, you know?” He shrugs, cheeks flaring. 
“Cool?” You laugh again.
“Yeah.” He replies, cracking a smile.
Your eyes gravitate to the sheet of paper in his hand. You don’t really have anything to lose, right? You’ve done it before and if he really is dedicated to this like he says he is… might as well give it a shot?
“Yes.” You say firmly, your mind made up.
“Yes?”
“Let's try again.” You exhale.
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. I mean, I didn’t do any research but… if you’re okay with that, my answer’s yes.” 
Eddie perks up, eyes becoming filled with excitement. He looks at his sheet of notes for a moment before his gaze finds yours again. 
“Do you have a calendar?” He asks plainly. 
“A calendar, Eddie? What?” You ask, feeling confused all over again.
“I just… yeah. Just like a regular calendar.” He shrugs.
“In my room.” You lead him upstairs, pulling the calendar down from your wall and handing it over.
“Okay, thank you. And when was your last period?” He asks, laying the calendar down flat on your desk, fingers drumming over the dates.
“My last period, Eddie, what the fuck?” You laugh.
“No, seriously. If you’re ovulating it’s supposed to be better, so last period was…?” He says, fingers gliding over the calendar.
“Like two— three-ish weeks ago?” You say, pointing at the general days on the calendar. 
“Okay, okay. Just gimme a minute.” He says, flattening his notes down on the surface next to the calendar. “Alright, so if this was the first day of your period, then you should be ovulating? Or almost ovulating?” He says, fingers sliding along the weeks, counting quietly under his breath. 
“Eddie, it sounds like you’re trying to get me pregnant.” You laugh nervously.
“No! No, I swear to god, no! I just- I read that it’s supposed to feel better for you during that week, so, like, now would be a really good time for me to… you know, try to make you feel good.” He says, eyes going wide as he turns towards you, looking the slightest bit mortified.
“Oh…” you respond, brows raised as you try not to laugh in his face. It’s endearing it really is, but… this boy is so odd. “Alright then.” You nod, your lips tugging into a smile. 
“Yeah. So I can check that off.” He says, grabbing a pencil from your desk and physically checking off one of his notes. “So next, is foreplay.”
“Foreplay?” You parrot, laughing in disbelief.
“Yeah. I think that’s where I really fucked up last time. I mean, I didn’t even kiss you, for christ sake. And I didn’t touch you at all before, so yeah. Foreplay.” He says, exhaling harshly.
“You want to kiss me?” You ask nervously. Your heart picks up as your gaze flickers to his lips.
“I mean, yeah.” He says, going shy. “But I didn’t know if you would have wanted me to cause we’re not… you know, together.” He shrugs his shoulders.
“You could have kissed me.” You smile at him, your stomach going fluttery at the thought. 
“Really?” He asks in disbelief. 
“Yeah.” You affirm, feeling your cheeks heat up.
“Cool.” He nods slowly, smiling.
“So.. are you going to?” You ask, sheepishly. He meets your gaze, eyes slowly lowering to your lips. He nods his head, stepping closer to you.
When your eyes flutter closed, you feel his lips press against yours, soft as a feather.
He pulls away and you almost think it’s over until he pulls you back in, hands on your waist, bringing you closer to him. His lips meet yours again and it’s entirely different from the first. His lips work against yours and it leaves you dazed, struggling to keep up with the unexpected, but it’s perfect.
His hands still on your waist, he guides you to lean against your desk, his body pulled flush to yours. His hands rub up and down your sides slowly, adding to your fluttery dizziness. 
The kiss deepens, his tongue licking along your lower lip and you part your mouth. He’s gentle with you, tongue imploringly licking into your mouth, almost as if he’s testingly seeing what you like best. It gives you butterflies, something you’ve tried to not dwell on getting from Eddie in the past.
His hand trails up your waist, taking purchase on your jaw, guiding your mouth against his until his kisses slow, his lips meeting the edge of your mouth before trailing down the side of your face.
You swallow harshly before speaking. “That was really good.” You say, clearing your voice. You practically feel Eddie’s lips turn up in a smile against your jaw.
“Yeah?” He asks breathily against your skin. 
“Yeah. I think your research is working so far.” You say, squeezing your eyes shut as his kisses trail down your neck. 
You open your eyes when the kisses stop and you feel him pull away. 
“Yeah?” He asks excitedly, making eye contact with you. His gaze is a combination of shock, disbelief, and amusement and it’s adorable. It pulls on all of your heart strings at once.
The attentiveness, effort, the everything from right now mixes with everything from before. Gentle, careful, respectful, you trust him. You trust him and you think he’s cute, endearing, adorable, and you want him.
“Keep going.” You say, your own voice going breathy.
“Right.” He mumbles, face pressing against your neck again. 
You bring your hand to the back of his head, fingers entwining in his hair. As soon as you do, you feel a nip of teeth that makes you gasp. He cleverly soothes the area with his tongue after, making a whimper rise in your throat that surprises you when it falls from your lips.
“Eddie, who’d you get that from?” You whisper curiously, voice sounding pathetically whimpery. 
“Dunno, s’just something I picked up.” He replies, pulling away enough for his breath to fan over your damp skin, giving you shivers. 
He nips again, chasing it with a harsh suck that makes your head spin. You can’t help but feel like he’s showing off now but you don’t care, you let him. He has you at a place where you’re his for the bending, malleable in his hands. 
“W-what’s next on your list?” You stutter through his kisses.
“Not done with this yet.” He says, voice gravelly and low. You nod your head, not bothering to try to speak again.
His kisses work lower and lower until they meet the neckline of your shirt. You feel his fingers on your hip playing with the hem of your shirt, tugging and lifting it just enough to get your attention. You nod again, wanting it off.
“Eddie.” You whine, pushing your chest against his when he doesn’t do it right away.
He pulls away from you again, and when he looks at you, he looks surprised. 
“What?” You question, feeling embarrassed.
“N-no! Nothing, that was just.. really hot. Wasn’t expecting that s’all.” He stutters, both hands now on your waist, rubbing up and down.
You feel your face burn, feeling shy all of a sudden. You know he picks it up because his eyes focus on you, pausing everything.
“D’you want me to keep going?” He asks, and you nod your head.
“Want you to take my shirt off.” You whisper.
“Yeah?” He laughs.
“Eddie.” You whine, feeling embarrassed at how much he’s affecting you.
“C’mon let’s get your shirt off, pretty girl.” He coos and you feel your stomach flutter. His hands lower to the hem of your shirt, tugging it up and you raise your arms cooperatively. 
“You think I’m pretty?” You ask just as the shirt pulls over your head.
“Hell yeah. I think you’re beautiful.” He says, stopping to look into your eyes as he says it. You lower your gaze, fixing it on your shirt in Eddie’s hands.
“Which is another thing I fucked up last time, by the way.” He adds, dipping his face to meet your gaze.
“Hm?” You hum, head spinning too fast to keep up.
“Last time. I didn’t tell you how fucking beautiful you are.” He says. His eyes flutter over your face, hand moving to tuck your hair behind your ear. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to, so I didn’t. But believe me, I thought about it.” He says, dipping his face down to press a chaste kiss to your shoulder. 
“Eddie.” You reply not knowing what else to say. Your heart beats faster and it’s all consuming, adding sweet to your ever growing list of things you like about Eddie. He’s always been sweet, but this feels bigger, and it makes your heart squeeze.
“Want me to take this off?” He asks, fingertips sliding under the strap of your bra. 
“Please.” You whisper, using all the air left in your lungs to muster the single plea.
His fingers trail behind your back, tickling you along the way until they reach the clasp, unfastening it hook by hook, letting it fall to the floor.
“You’re so fucking beautiful. So perfect. Wish I had said it the first time.” He says lowly, between kisses on your shoulders.
You hum, both because you don’t know what else to say and also because you are so fully absorbed by Eddie. You watch him as his kisses get lower on your collarbones
“S’this okay?” He asks, kisses stopping before reaching your chest.
“Uh-huh.” You breathe. Your hands move the back of his head again, tugging him lower until his kisses meet your chest. His hands rise tentatively until they press against the roundness of your breasts. Another moan falls from your lips and that spurs him on enough to more confidently massaging you, adding kisses to the mix.
“C-can we lay down.” You stutter, trying to catch your breath. 
“Anything you want, pretty girl.” He replies, continuing his kisses. He guides you, taking steps backwards to the bed, turning you so the backs of your knees hit the mattress.
You lay down and he follows, hovering over you more comfortably than last time. 
You close your eyes, absorbing the weight of Eddie on top of you, and you feel hot everywhere. It’s completely contradictory to last time and he still has every piece of clothing on. Before you can even think of asking him to take off his clothes, you're startled by the wet, hot feeling of his mouth on your nipple. 
“Eddie.” You moan. Embarrassment isn’t a feeling you can harbor anymore, Eddie has you so entranced. Your chest rises and falls harshly, panting as his tongue swirls around your sensitive nipple. You feel like your skin’s prickling and your heads empty, the only thing that exists right now is you and Eddie. 
He switches, paying the same attention to your other breast and you spread your legs further, letting Eddie fall closer to you, hips pressing against yours. 
“Want clothes off.” You whimper, his teeth grazing before sucking harshly on the delicate skin.
“Mine or yours.” He mumbles, words vibrating against your chest and you’re sure you’re covered in goosebumps.
“Both, Eddie.” You moan. 
He makes quick work of pulling his shirt over his head. His hands go to the button of your shorts, stopping to look at you first. 
“I want to try something first, if that’s okay?” He says, dipping down to meet your gaze. 
“Eddie.” You whine, not caring the slightest, you can only think of wanting your clothes off. 
“I can take these off?” 
“Take them off.” You reply, getting impatient. He watches you, and he still looks surprised. You bring your own hands down, and it sets him in motion, popping the button open and pulling them down your legs. 
“Baby, you’re doing okay?” He asks, as he tosses your shorts to the side.
“M’doin’ good Eddie, keep going please.” You breathe, squirming on the mattress. 
“Fuck, okay.” He replies, voice gravely again. He tugs your underwear down, tossing them to the floor and begins shifting backwards on the bed. It surprises you, pulling you out of your spinning daze as he disappears between your legs.
“Eddie, what are you doing?” You ask, sitting up slightly.
“M’gonna eat you out. That okay?” He asks, lifting his head to look back at you. You’re obviously familiar with the term, but you’ve never had anyone do it to you before, making his actions unexpected. You don’t know what you thought he was gonna do, but it wasn’t that.
You lay back down on the mattress, exhaling deeply.
“Hey? Is it okay? I don’t have to.” He says softly, getting your attention. His hand finds yours, intertwining your fingers.
“You can.” You reply nervously. He squeezes your hand.
“We can stop anytime, okay?” He says, eyes searching yours and making it clear that he means it. 
Trust is starting to seem more like an understatement. All of the good things you like about Eddie, you’ve always liked about him. Maybe it’s the way your head is spinning or maybe it’s just how Eddie’s always been, but you get a burning feeling for him. Not a desire or a neediness born from the heat of the moment, but like an adoration, like a particular thump of your heart exists just for him. 
“Okay” you reply, nodding your head.
Still holding your hand, he lowers himself again. His breath reaches your cunt and you feel shivers erupt up and down your spine, excitement blooming in your belly. 
“Just gonna ask you one thing, okay? Need your help a little, just tell me what you like, gotta tell me what feels good, okay?” He says softly, popping up once again to look at you. 
You nod, squeezing his hand, and he lowers his head again.
Your whole body jerks as you feel his tongue lick up your core. It’s wet and hot and something you’ve never felt before.
“Holy shit.” You gasp, squeezing his hand again. 
“Good or bad?” He asks from between your legs.
“Do it again.” 
He does it again and it’s good. Definitely good. 
“Good, Eddie. Really good.” You reply breathily. He squeezes your hand in acknowledgement before his tongue is on you again. The warm heat of his breath and his tongue meet your slit, licking up, parting your folds and catching on your clit, making you jolt again. 
When his thumb on the back of your hand starts running back and forth on your skin soothingly, you melt entirely. Relaxing into everything. 
His tongue explores your cunt, lapping up and down before he focuses on your clit, making you gasp. It feels like the almost pleasure you got last time but a million times better. It’s actual pleasure this time, not almost. It tingles all the way up into your belly and you can’t help the way your breathing turns into soft moans.
His tongue swirls around your clit and your mouth drops as your mind reels at the feeling.
“F-fuck.” You gasp when he switches to sucking, making your hips buck against him. “S’really good, Eddie.” You moan.
“You’re so wet this time, baby.” He groans, the vibrations of his words against you making you whimper. The tingles traveling to your belly start to tense, making your breathing turn into quick pants. You want to tell Eddie he’s doing a good job but you can’t get the words out through your gasps, so instead you find purchase on the back of his head with your free hand, tangling your fingers in his hair, hoping he’ll understand.
He switches between lapping at you, flicking his tongue, and sucking your clit. The wet sounds of his mouth against your cunt filling the room, adding to the way your body’s growing impossibly hot, stomach tightening into a tight knot. 
When you feel his fingers at your entrance, you gasp. He squeezes your hand and you squeeze back. 
He pushes in one finger first, it’s similar to the prodding from before but much better with his mouth working against you. 
He works his finger in and out of you before slipping a second in and the slight stretch that comes with it leaves you reeling. You think that feeling alone is fantastic until he curves his fingers upwards into an almost hook shape. 
Prodding turns into straight pleasure as he wiggles his fingers in and out, hitting a place inside of you that leaves you gasping for air.
“Eddie. G-good.” You moan, your stomach tensing harshly. You feel your thighs start to shake as moans, gasps, and whines leave your mouth unwillingly. 
“You're getting really tight.” He hums, lips barely leaving your clit. All you can do is whimper as the vibrations of his voice push you further and further into pleasure. “Baby, you gonna cum?” He hums again. 
You nod your head ferociously not being able to produce words.
“That’s it, cum for me, baby.” He groans between flicks of his tongue. His words travel straight to your stomach adding to the pulsing knot.
Your hips buck insenstantly and you feel like you’ve lost total control of your body. All that you can feel is pleasure rippling through you like waves, hitting an all time high, and you break. You cum, harder than ever before. You’ve tried on your own before and it’s barely been worth noting, but this.. this is earth shattering. 
You feel weightless, floating, all of the tension leaving your body. It’s magnificent, perfect, it feels like you’re in a dream. The only thing that tethers you to reality, is Eddie’s hand in yours and the way his thumb gently pushes into the back of your hand. 
You feel yourself settling down from your high, but as Eddie’s mouth keeps working against you, you feel the edges of your vision go dark. Your body fights with prolonging and pushing away the pleasure as it takes you whole. 
“E-Eddie.” You choke out, squeezing his hand. Your hips buck, and he understands, slowing down.
Sucking in a deep breath, you squeeze his hand again and his motions come to a slow halt. 
You are astounded.
Absolutely astounded. 
You have no words.
You tug him by the hand, you need him closer.
“You okay?” He whispers, as he moves up by your side. You pull him by the hand, willing him to hold you as you turn on your side. He complies, giving you everything you need.
You take steady breaths that help you settle back into your body. It could be seconds, could be minutes, could be hours that pass, but eventually you catch your breath, finally grasping the moment. 
“Holy shit.” You exhale. Holding onto Eddie’s arm wrapped around your stomach.
“Was it good?” He asks nervously. You lean back, turning to lay flat on your back so you can see him.
“Was it good? Eddie, holy shit.” You say, widening your eyes as you take in his nervous features and flushing cheeks. Your eyes trail down to his slick coated face. His lips slowly curl into a smile and fuck, you finally understand how he felt after the first time. 
“It worked?” He laughs. 
You take his face in your hands and you kiss him hard. Yeah, it fucking worked, holy shit.
His tongue licks into your mouth immediately, his slick coated lips giving you a taste of yourself. Keeping your hands on his cheeks, you continue kissing him, tongues working in sync until you can’t keep up.
He kisses you breathless. When your head goes dizzy, all you can focus on is the reemerging pulse between your legs. 
Lowering your hands to his hips, you guide him on top of you. He tries to lift himself, hovering not to put all his weight on you but you need it, so you pull him until he rests flush against your body. 
Your hands explore up his chest, wrapping around his sides until you take purchase on his back, pulling him as close to you as you can.
Through his clothes, you feel his hardened length resting against you, and you roll your hips up looking for relief, making Eddie gasp into your mouth.
You do it again and his mouth stops moving against yours, feeding a whimper right into your lungs. 
“Clothes.” You pull away just enough to whisper, grinding your hips upwards against him. 
Eddie’s lips still against yours, he’s resolved into quickened breaths in and out, breathing into your mouth.
“Want you Eddie.” You whine, not getting enough relief from your grinding. 
“Clothes.” He echoes mindlessly, swallowing harshly. He doesn’t move, so you take to moving your hands down, folding your fingers under his belt, blindly searching for an edge to pull at.
“Take them off.” You say a little louder. 
“Right. Clothes.” He says, finally snapping out of whatever transfixion he was stuck in. 
He pulls away, and you miss the feeling of his chest against yours immediately. You watch as he undoes his belt and pants, pushing both his jeans and boxers down his thighs, struggling to get them off. Eventually, he takes to standing, nearly falling off the edge of your bed, making you giggle. When he finally has them off, he’s quick to resume his position overtop of you. 
“I’m getting ahead of myself. Need to make sure you’re doing good.” He says, blinking back the glazed over look in his eyes. 
“I’m doing so good, Eddie.” You purr, hands trailing up the expanse of his back. 
“Everything feels good? Do you need me to do anything else?” He brings a hand to the edge of your face, pushing your hair back, making your heart flutter and core ache at the same time. 
“Want you inside.” You whisper.
“I can do that.” He laughs breathily. He reaches down to the floor, his body weight laying on top of you as he reaches for his discarded pants. After a bit of fumbling, he sits up again, condom in hand. His hands slip on the packaging until he grows frustrated, ripping the corner of the foil open with his teeth. You feel heat pool in your core at the sight, wanting him more than you’ve ever wanted anything. 
“Eddie, you’re so pretty.” You say breathily, his eyes flicker up to you from his focus as he rolls the condom down his length. You see pink raise on his cheeks as his lips turn up at the corners.
“You think so?”
“Know so. So beautiful and cute and adorable and hot and I want you.” You ramble, feeling absolutely drunk off of how insanely fast he has your head spinning with lust. You want him in a lot of different ways, every way. You raise your hands to his shoulders tugging him closer.
“My pretty girl.” He whispers, dipping his face down to kiss you.
“Yours.” You mumble against his lips right before they meet yours. It rolls off your tongue naturally and it feels right. You’re his. Entirely enraptured by him, entirely swept up by him. 
You can pinpoint the exact moment he processes what you said. He had started kissing you hungrily, then it was like it hit him. His mouth stopped moving against yours, and when you slid a hand up to hold his jawline, his mouth started to move again, but differently. 
The kiss turned sweet, gentle, tender. It turned meaningful and slow, like every touch of his lips against yours and every caress of his tongue had purpose. You indulge yourself in the change of pace until you can't anymore.
“Eddie, please.” 
“I got you, sweet girl.” He whispers.
The sunsetting leaves the two of you in the low golden glow. Eddie’s face illuminates with the light bleeding in through your sheer curtains and your heart beats a little faster as you watch him lean back, his cock in his hand, rubbing his fist up and down his length once before lining it up with your entrance. 
The confidence he holds now, compared to last time, makes you swallow thickly. Last time it was cute and endearing, this time, he works you into pleasure and it leaves you reeling for more. This time he says you’re his, and you agree. You always have been in a way. Trust was a disguise, trust was a front. You like Eddie. You always have. 
“Ready, pretty girl?” He asks, voice low as he stares into your eyes. You feel his head at your entrance and you clench in anticipation.
“Ready.” You chorus, relaxing yourself. It’s literal in the way you relax your muscles, but it’s also metaphorical in the way you open yourself up entirely for him. This isn’t your first time, but it’s the time that matters. It’s the time where he is completely himself and you are completely yourself. It’s everything you wanted and more— more that you didn’t realize you needed until now.
He pushes in and you both sigh in tandem. Your sighs mature into moans as he slowly pushes in, fully bottoming out inside of you.
“Does it hurt?” He asks, voice quiet and carefilled.
“Not like last time.” You answer.
“Sorry, baby.” He whispers, dipping his face to yours, pressing a kiss to your lips. “Sorry it hurt last time and I didn’t even kiss it better.” He continues, pressing another gentle kiss to your lips.
“S’okay, Eddie. You’re doing so good now, feels so good.” You reply, voice just as quiet as his. You pull his face down, pressing your own tender kiss to his lips before trailing your hands down the front of his chest, rounding them to hold his sides. 
He shifts his hips, withdrawing from you slowly. You guide him with your hands, willing him to keep going, and he does. 
“S’feel okay?” Eddie says through a strangled breath. 
“Feels good.” You breathe.
“You sure? We can put a pillow under—” he starts to explain, slowing his already slow motions.
“Want you to go faster.” You interrupt.
“Faster.” He echoes, almost like he’s coaching himself. You hum as he complies, drawing his hips and pushing them back into you at a quicker pace. 
Him filling you up and stretching you out felt entirely different this time, way better, and it has you absolutely dizzy. It’s not prodding this time, it’s more like a roll that leaves you breathless, panting just to fill your lungs. His cock grazes your sweet spot with every pump into you and with every other thrust, his hips meet yours completely, teasing your clit with their contact. 
“Harder.” You whisper, and he complies silently apart from the way he harshly sucks in a breath.
His hips begin snapping against yours, the slap of skin on skin echoing in your room mixing with the obscene, wet noises of his cock pushing in and out of you, complimenting the breathy moans and whimpers coming from both of your mouths. Each thrust hits your clit, making you shudder, hips jolting and stuttering with your pleasure.
You feel your insides start to tense and you know you’re close. His thrusts start to falter as his breathing turns ragged.
“So close Eddie, please.” You whine. He breaths a whimper, hips picking up again, returning to his quick, hard pace. 
“Cum for me, baby. Need you to cum for me.” He says breathily, voice pitching up. His hand reaches down past your belly, fingers finding your clit, rubbing it and it sends your hips into a spasm of stutters.
“Eddie.” You cry. You feel your body go rigid before your pleasure explodes, freeing you from the reigns of tension and pushing you into pure ecstasy.
Eddie only musters a few more thrusts with the way your cunt clamps down onto his cock, fluttering and pulsing all around him as your orgasm takes you over. Strangled whimpers pull from his lungs as he prolongs your pleasure until he breaks alongside you. 
“F-fuck. Shit. I’m c-cumming.” He grunts, cock twitching inside you as his balls press firmly against your ass. His hips stutter, shallow thrusts pushing in and out, the warmth of his cum filling the condom. With your half lidded eyes, you watch Eddie— his face contorting in pleasure, and you enjoy the moment, committing it to memory. 
Eddie stills completely apart from his heavy breathing that matches yours. He surprises you when he rolls onto his back, taking you with him, pulling you over his chest, his cock still firmly pressed inside of you. 
“Eddie.” You laugh breathily. 
“J-just need to feel you for another minute.” He replies hazily, eyes squeezed shut. His hands wrap around your back, hugging you closely and you relax into him tentatively. His hands pull you down again, and you have no choice but to put all of your weight on him.
When your combined panting resolves to steady breathing, he breaks the silence. “Was that better?” He asks, pushing his head back into the pillow to look at you.
“That was… better than better. Way, way, way better.” You say whimsily. It was perfect, it was everything, you don’t have any words. 
“Yeah?” 
“That was like… I don’t even know. I can’t even describe it, just so so good. Really.” You say in awe, reflecting on what just happened.
“You can tell me the truth.”
“Eddie.” You say warningly, lifting your head to really look at him. “If you studied like that for all your classes you’d be valedictorian. A++, honestly Eddie.” You say.
“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” He asks, still sounding unsure.
“You should frame those notes you wrote, hang them up like a diploma in your room.”
“Okay, now you’re just teasing me.” He laughs, turning his head away from you to hide his smile. 
“No! And you wanna know how serious I’m being right now?” You say, reaching up and taking one of his curls, swirling it around your finger, grabbing his attention.
“How?” He asks, turning back to you. 
“Because I’m already thinking about doing it again.” You whisper. You watch Eddie as his smile grows. 
“Really?” He asks, eyes beaming.
“Yes.” You nod, pressing your lips together as your smile grows. 
You watch Eddie as a whirlwind of emotions take over his face, it’s disbelief, happiness, excitement, a few you can’t parse, before it settles into nervousness. It makes your belly knot in nerves immediately. 
“Last time… I was— after, I was so upset because…” He starts, eyes fluttering over your face, avoiding your gaze. He takes a breath before continuing. “I was so upset because I wanted to ask you out, and then after the sex was bad, I kind of figured you’d never go out with me.”
“You wanted to ask me out?” You say, pushing yourself up with your arms to see his full face. 
His eyes flood with worry, and you reach down, pushing his damp bangs from his forehead. He finally looks at you and all you can do is smile. His nerves settle the slightest bit as he relaxes into his own sheepish smile. 
“I would still like to, if that’s okay with you?” He asks, shyly.
“It’s really okay with me.” You reply.
“Maybe I can ask when I’m not still inside you?” He laughs softly, eyes flickering to your lips. “Not that I don’t think this is romantic, but…” he trails off when you start laughing, watching you closely as you do, dimples set deeply in his cheeks.
You nod your head before lowering your face to his. He meets you halfways, pressing his mouth to yours, kissing you sweetly. 
“My pretty girl.” He whispers as he pulls away. 
“Yours.” You whisper back, smiling. 
‧˚₊•┈┈┈┈୨୧┈┈┈┈•‧₊˚⊹
After a few more moments of you resting on top of Eddie, the two of you begin to shift, slowly separating from one another. Lazily cleaning yourselves up, trading discarded clothes as you pick them up from the floor, it’s a good memory, one you want to keep forever. 
The sun now tucked beneath the skyline, your room glows in the low light form your lamp, Eddie’s heartbeat serving as the background music to this moment. You settle deeper into his chest, and he hugs you tighter.
It wasn’t the first time, but it was the time that mattered the most. 
As far as silent moments go, there’s not many with Eddie. He breaks the quiet of the room, shifting to look at you. 
“I think I might want to be a vagina doctor, I know so much shit about vaginas now.” He says, completely serious. You choke on a laugh, surprised by his comment.
“Really?” 
“No.” He says, tilting his face so you can see his smile. “Just know a lot now.” He laughs.
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6K notes · View notes
starkwlkr · 6 months
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it’s nothing new | sebastian vettel
part 1 part 3
REQUESTS ARE CLOSED
update: i decided to make this into a series, thanks for reading! you can read it here!
“hello?”
“mark, hi.”
“y/n? it’s been a while. how are you?” the aussie asked. it had been years since you spoke to mark, but he always kept you updated. he sent messages about how everyone in the paddock was doing, which you appreciated him for.
“i . . i’m okay. is this a bad time to talk to you?” you asked. you suddenly remembered about time zones.
“it’s alright, i always have time for you. what’s going on?” he questioned.
“so i am at my sister’s house and i didn’t want to sleep the whole flight so i decided to read your book.” you replied. “it’s a beautiful book, mark.”
“thanks.” he knew there was more you wanted to say. “are you mad?”
“mad about what?” you asked. “what you wrote about sebastian and i? is that what you’re talking about?”
“well yeah. i tried to contact you several times. you wouldn’t answer my messages so i assumed you changed numbers. seb told me he didn’t care if i wrote it in—”
“mark, i’m not mad. i’m far from it. i just want to know if it’s true. did he tell you everything? the night he won the title, i mean.” you asked. you remembered that night clearly. you didn’t finish the race, but that didn’t stop you from celebrating with sebastian.
“he would never lie about you, love. i told him to tell you, just to get it off his chest but he wouldn’t. you were with someone else, it was wrong.” mark explained. “you know the day you announced your engagement, he hated himself for not telling you sooner. maybe things would’ve ended differently if he had.”
maybe . .
“does he hate me?”
there was always that possibility. but when it came to sebastian, he would rather die than say he hates you.
“he could never hate you even if you did throw a show at him and call him a cunt.” mark chuckled. “he still loves you, you know, he asks about you all the time and i have no idea what to tell him.”
“well maybe i could tell him myself . . do you have his phone number?”
after you were given seb’s number, you noticed he never changed it. you weren’t sure why, but you decided to text him instead of calling.
y/n
hi seb, it’s y/n. i know it’s been so long and i’m sorry for how things ended. i hope you’re doing great. i’m not doing too good right now. my marriage is ending so i have that going for me. i’m staying with my sister and her family. anyways, i hope you don’t mind me messaging you. mark gave me your number but turns out i still have it saved. speaking of mark, i read his book on the flight, it’s very interesting. i’ll leave you alone now, thanks for caring about me all these years.
after you sent the message, you didn’t expect a reply. it was as if he was waiting for a message this whole time.
seb
hi y/n. i hope you know i never forgot about you after all this time. i’m sorry about your marriage, i really am. i don’t mind at all that you message me, i never changed my number in hopes that one day you would. as for mark’s book, i hope you’re not mad, but if you need to know, it’s all true and i wouldn’t change anything. being with you made me happy and everytime i hear your name, i’m reminded of the joyful memories we shared. i have something to tell you, only a few people know. i plan to retire at the end of the 2022 season. it would be nice if you would come to abu dhabi for my last race. i understand if you can’t make it. take care and i love you always. (it’s nothing new at this point)
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@hc-dutch @lightdragonrayne @multiplefandomwritings @woozarts @jggykhug09090 @neivivenaj @kissesandmartinis @barnestatic @avythef1addict
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plutoswritingplanet · 7 months
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It's A Special Death You Saved (Feyd Rautha Harkonnen x Female!Reader) pt.1
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a/n: i had a "no bald men" rule before he licked a knife... so y'all know my priorities are in order. Cross-Posted on AO3
Warnings: Dub-Con (as per usual), Arranged Marriage, Reader is an Atreides (it's just such a good prompt i couldn't help myself),
Summary: A month-long engagement to the na-Baron Harkonnen makes you question, whether a marriage can bloom on the grounds of hate. Loosely based on "Special Death" by Mirah.
Pt.2, Pt.3 Pt.4 (finale)
The message comes from the Emperor himself. An indisputable order that renders your Father speechless. You've never seen him quite as distraught, as when he has visited you in your chambers to deliver the news. Hands fidgeting, eyes refusing to meet yours, heavy shadows falling across his face. He seems to expect your reaction, not giving you as much as a flinch, when you scream your protests at him. And he should've expected as much, you were always the more impulsive of Duke Leto's children. 
- But the Harkonnens are beasts - you argue, voice breaking - You've said it yourself, many times.
- Actually, I think that was Gurney...
- You've never denied it!
And he doesn't deny it now, head hung low. Never, not once in your life, have you seen your Father give up. Until today. 
Your Mother enters just a few seconds after him, her dress flowing around her ankles as if she had floated in on a cloud. She stands to the side of your bed, hands folded, and an impassive expression embedded onto her features. And the more she speaks of the centuries of breeding, the importance of an union and the powers beyond your understanding, the less you see of your mother. What stands before you, instead, is a Bene Gesserit sister, veiled in schemes and dark plans, which were in the making before you were even born. You curse yourself for not noticing this stranger sooner, and storm off, out of your room, your shawl blowing out behind you like bat wings.
Paul doesn't visit you, but you can hear him, even through the effort of swallowing down your tears. He fights for you against your Father. He would fight for you against the whole Empire if he had to, and your heart swells, as he throws a particularly nasty curse into the air of your Father's study. It doesn't change anything. According to the decree of the Emperror, the oldest daughter of the Duke Leto Atreides will marry Feyd Rautha, an heir to the Baron Harkonnen. A centuries long dispute is about to be put to an end, and all thanks to the small sacrifice, which is your life. All would be well in the galaxy. Really, you should be honored, to be tasked with such a monumental peace treaty.
Everyone in the court seems to know about your situation. Mournful looks follow you, as you walk into the training barracks, ridding yourself of layers upon layers of flowing fabrics, leaving you in a rather tight costume, light enough to beat your frustrations out on someone.
Duncan Idaho meets your searching eyes, and you know he is aware as well. All it takes is one inclination of your chin, and he's up on his feet, sword in hand. Loyal as ever, he stands in front of you, watches with mixed feelings as you enable your shield, no questions asked. None needed. 
He barely has time to put his defenses up, when you charge at him, fury and despair pushing your movements into stances which are clumsy and ill though out. Still, there's power within your strikes, a strength of someone who needs to move, unless they break. So he lets you, for a couple of minutes. He dodges your attacks, pairing some of them, never moving quite into the offense.
The rest of the soldiers scurry off somewhere, for which you will be thankful in the future. They might hear your cries of anger, but they will not see you break. They will not see the way your blade smashes into Duncan's shield over and over again, with no regard for the slow attacks, which would penetrate it. Likewise, they don't see your sparring partner fall to his knees and swipe you off your feet in a split-second movement, making you hit the floor with a frustrated snarl. And they don't see you finally give up, and cry, hugging your blade to your chest, the severity of your circumstance falling onto you, crushing you down.
- Never fight in anger, Princess - Duncan reminds you, voice cautious, and you growl at him like a wild animal - It dulls your instincts, makes you distracted.
- Did you know? - you demand, your sharp voice cutting through his half-assed lecture.
For a moment he looks truly remorseful. His eyes float around the room, and your heart sinks when he sighs deeply.
- I found out not long ago - he confesses - Your Father told me. 
Your blade slides against the floor as you throw it, a raw scream tearing through your throat. Duncan takes a step towards you, hand extended towards your shaking form. But, before he can attempt to touch you, you're up, rolling your shoulders forcefully. Tears stain your cheeks, and you wipe them roughly with the back of your hand, skin becoming irritated almost instantly. There are swords laid out on a small table, just beside you,  your fingers grip the cold handle so hard, your knuckles seem to creak under the pressure. Duncan readies himself as well, dusting off his trousers. 
He's not good at comforting, but he's the best at fighting, and if that's what you need in this cold morning, he'll oblige. 
- You'll make it through, you know - he says, his voice genuine, and you laugh without any mirth.
Your blades clash, faces coming closer as you absentmindedly notice small scars adorning his cheeks.
- You can adapt to anything - you strike against his shoulder, the shield pushes your blade away - We could send you to Arrakis right now, and a week later you'd be riding a damned Sandworm into battle.
To that, you laugh, this time your smile reaching your eyes. The idea is preposterous, but it renders your footsteps lighter, and you twist to dodge a nasty blow to the right arm. Duncan huffs a laugh as well, as you slip through his fingers. He points his blade in your direction, a smirk playing across his lips, and you bare your teeth in a playful display of wildness.
- Careful, Princess, you might scare your betrothed away - Duncan teases, as you roll your dagger in your hand.
- Scare a damned Harkonnen? Do you find me that intimidating? - the idea thrills you just a little bit, you're woman enough to admit it.
- I think you're fucking terrifying.
- Duncan Idaho, you better not be swearing at my Daughter.
Your face falls immediately, as your Father approaches the two of you, shooting Duncan a stern gaze which holds no real threat. Still, your sparring partner raises his hands, his blade tucked away safely into his belt. There's sweat clinging to your skin from all the training, mingling with drying tears on your cheeks, and Duke Leto tries very hard not to comment on your choice of processing recent events. Still, he nods at you, and like a good daughter, you put your blade away, walking from the barracks after him. 
***
The Emperor has called for a traditional, Atreides engagement. A mercy, which you're eternally grateful for. You're not too aware of Harkonnen customs regarding marriage, but given the House's reputation, it couldn't have been pleasant. House Atreides however, took to such matters much more ceremonially, old-fashioned to some. 
Soon, a ship is arriving, with your betrothed onboard, and a month-long courting period willcommence. After that, official engagement and soon after, a wedding. Then, you will be transported back on Geidis Prime, where a life of misery awaits. That's all the time you have. A month.  
The dress, which was picked out for you, is uncomfortable and shows both too much and too little skin at the same time. While your legs are bare and exposed to an almost scandalous degree, a high, stiff collar nearly chokes the life out of you. This whole getup was the idea of your mother, as an attempt to highlight your best features and hide all that might be considered less desirable. 
You have no idea what's wrong with your neck. Perhaps, by cutting off your airflow, your mother aimed to keep you docile. 
She frowns deeply as you tug on the fabric, nerves climbing up your spine, growing more desperate every second. She swats at your hand, and you throw her a look. Out of the corner of your eye Paul smiles at your antics, your only consolation in this hopeless place. 
- Stop fidgeting, you'll tear the dress - Lady Jessica scolds you, and you can sense actual worry underlining her stern voice.
The Harkonnen ship slowly glides into the atmosphere of your home planet, a black, awful thing. Like all things on Geidis Prime, dark and miserable. Soon, you'll join them, adorned in equally black and lifeless clothing, never to see your family again. Never to see the Ocean. Your nails bite into the collar of the dress, you can hear a stitch tear.
- Stop that.
Your hands fall uselessly against your body, as your mother uses the Voice on you. Wouldn't be the first time, you were quite the unruly daughter and Lady Jessica was determined to make a Lady out of you no matter the means. Still, this time, the unnatural tone feels more like a panicked plea,  than a light-hearted scolding. 
- Relax Mother - your voice is sharp, despite the slight tremble - In a months time I'll be gone from here forever, stuck in some blackened cell, wistfully sighing "ooh" "aah".
You place your hand on your forehead in a dramatic display of doubtful acting abilities. When you were younger, your mother would laugh at you, as you enacted scenes from romance books. You would throw yourself at a nearby piece of furniture, pretending to be some wronged lover, or an unhappy bride waiting for someone to liberate her. And your mother would clap her hands, thoroughly entertained.
Today however, she doesn't even crack a smile.
- I don't expect you to be happy about all this - she whispers - But I do expect you to wear your grief with some grace.
A slap would've been kinder, you think, and stare ahead, as the Harkonnen ship opens, and a group of people dressed in black spill out of it like ants from a drowning anthill. Your heart is thrumming hard in your chest, and your hand reaches out, despite all your apprehension, towards your mother. A force of habit, to search consolation within her disregarding the fact, that it was her meddling that put you here. 
Her fingers lace with yours, thumb stroking your palm in an attempt to soothe you. 
Immediately, you know which one of the bald headed Harkonnen is your betrothed. 
He's much taller than you, an imposing figure even despite his rather lean built. His skin is almost completely white, as expected, his teeth are blackened out, as expected as well, and his eyes are bearing into you with an intensity so oppressing, you almost look away. Almost. 
- I present to you, Feyd Rautha, the na-Baron of House Harkonnen. 
The pale man steps forward, releasing you from his gaze for only just a moment, to trade pleasantries with your Father, who looks beyond miserable as he fixes your soon-to-be husband with a tired look. Then, Feyd Rautha is brought before you.
There's grace to his movements you did not expect, as he pushes his black cloak aside, and kneels in front of you. Harkonnen were known for their bulky ruthlessness, but this one... This one reminded you of a panther, the way his eyes travelled the length of your body, full lips pulling upward into a barely noticable smirk. 
Customs, you remind yourself, as your mother's hand squeezes your fingers. You don't want to let her go, but you do, slowly, with so many mixed thoughts rattling around your brain, it makes your head swim. 
Feyd Rautha grabs your extended hand in such a gentle manner, you're almost convinced the Harkonnens have shaved some poor bastard and dropped him off instead of the real na-Baron. Then, he lifts your palm up, until his lips press against your fingertips, a gesture so tender, your heart does a flip in your chest. And then, it stops all together, when his grip on your palm tightens, and he pulls your hand closer, to kiss it properly. As if he can't help himself, he looks up at you, and you realize. 
You almost got yourself caught, but reading people's intentions have been taught to you as fervently as reading texts, and you can see right through this facade of chivalry. There's darkness in this man, a swirling void, which brings a wave of cold fear upon you. This cunning, depraved creature will soon enough become your husband, and you'll be stuck with him forever. How long will he keep up this impeccable appearence? Was this performence for you, your Father, his own twisted fun, or all the things combined?
With a furrowed brow, you tear your hand out of his grasp, a full body shiver running up your spine at the sight of his self-satisfied smirk. He drinks up your reactions like a man parched, and you fight hard to put on a mask of indifference, as he rises from his knees to stand before you in all his imposing glory.
***
You can feel his eyes follow you, as the welcome committee retreats into the Palace. He doesn't let you out of his sight throughout the feast, which takes place immediately after his arrival, and even now, as he gets ready to "entertain" the court by indulging in some barbaric ceremony of his, his eyes are trained only on you. 
It's uncomfortable, to say the least, having him stare at you, while you sit surrounded by your family, who, for the most part, say nothing. Except Paul. Your dear baby brother, your protector in all this madness. As Feyd Rautha throws his coat to the side, showing off his (admittedly impressive) muscles, Paul leans towards you.
- He looks like a hard boiled egg, don't you think sister? - he whispers and subsequently ends your vow of silence. 
The giggle you let out is caught quickly by everyone around, your betrothed included, before you press an open palm against your lips. 
- Behave - your mother warns, and you try, you really do.
But in the serene light of the fading sun, your soon-to-be husband's head does look frighteningly egg-ish. God, you'll get yourself killed, before the wedding ceremony is even resolved if you keep this up.
You're seated high in an outdoor theater. One of your grandfather's favorite places, where he used to dance with bulls for sport. Where he met his demise.
Feyd Rautha presents his knives to you and your family, their blades glint ominously in the setting sun. Again, you are struck with the sheer grace this man exudes. His movements, despite being forceful and wild, have a beauty to them, as if he was rehearsing ancient dance moves, rather than killing blows.
And, despite your brother's earlier comment, there is something enticing in the way his pale skin catches the rays of bleeding sunshine, slowly creeping towards the horizon. He's almost beautiful, almost handsome enough to consider. 
The thought leaves your head almost immediately, as the Harkonnen servants bring in his apparent opponent. Your heart drops to your stomach at the sight of a beaten, dark skinned warrior. Immediately you recognize a Fremen, you've read so much about them in your free time. You know how they filter water, what they eat, how they move through the sands, and despite your knowledge you can't fathom, why this poor man has been brought here. 
At your side, Paul shifts in his seat, all jokes leaving him in a hurry. The both of you watch, as the man you're promised to toys with a clearly drugged victim. Slashes bloom on the prisoners skin, blood sprays in the air. You refuse to look away, to show such weakness, even as Feyd Rautha grabs the poor man by his hair and with a forceful push impales his throat on the blade. Blood pours down onto the sand, paints the Harkonnen's face and chest a deep shade of red.
It's a brutal display of power, of cruelty and wildness the Harkonnens are known for. Suddenly, everything Gurney has warned you about, while training your fighting skills, rings like a thousand of bells in your ears. This is who you will marry, who you will spend your entire life with. 
You swallow down an urge to throw up, and stand up from your seat. 
The show must go on, you think, throwing your Mother one, venomous look, trying to force her to understand your pain. Then, you lock eyes with your betrothed, who watches you from below with a cruel smile, blackened teeth on full display. You meant to congratulate him, to play the part as instructed, but you can do nothing of the sort. Instead, you stare back at him, disgust flowing from your features like a broken faucet. 
Lady Jessica opens her mouth, but before she can, without a doubt, scold you again, you're out of the seating area, your footsteps echoing in the halls. 
Once you're sufficiently tucked away from prying eyes, your back hits the wall, and you allow yourself feel the luxury of unbridled panic. Your breathing comes out in fast, shallow pants, as cold sweat forms on your forehead. Thoughts racing, your fingers tangle into your hair, tugging at the roots. This is your future, the only future waiting for you, and it's filled wth pain and blood.
- Have you enjoyed the fight, my Lady? - you immediately know it's him, despite not hearing him speak before.
A gasp of surprise leaves you before you can catch it, and your back straightens almost painfully fast. 
There he stands, tall and lean, and terrifying. Blood still decorates his torso creating a contrast that is both terrifying and hypnotizing. He watches you, curiosity and humor swirling behind his eyes. You can't decide whether they are completely blackened out, or if they hold a blue, almost serene hue. 
- No - you answer, finding your voice entirely too shaky for your liking - I did not enjoy it.
He laughs, a guttural, low sound that makes the hair stand at the back of your neck. You know he wouldn't dare try anything here, right under your Father's nose while the engagement is still in the making. Yet, as you stand frozen, just you, him and the marble walls around you, dread finds home in the pit of your stomach.
- Was that man Fremen? - you ask, partially to fill the silence, partially because you're genuinely curious.
The man shrugs, you can see muscles moving under his white skin. He takes a step towards you and you will yourself not to run.
- Sometimes we bring a couple of captured desert rats home - he explains with a nonchalant tone - Mostly for entertainment.
The almost bored intonation he uses to describe this barbaric ritual makes something boil deep inside you. 
- That's cruel - you counter, emotions flowing freely onto your face, much to the man's delight - To deny those men the honor of dying on their home planet. To drag them into a completely foreign place, just to kill them for sport, like some animals... It's...
- Some of them live - he cuts you off, taking another couple of steps towards you, but in your growing outrage, you barely notice - Our brothels are filled with Fremen whores.
Your face twist into an expression of utter repulsion, and Feyd Rautha raises his eyebrows in a pathetic mask of confusion, almost childlike giddiness lighting up his eyes as he looks down at you.
- Oh, don't give me that look, my Lady. - he cooes, and you've never felt a stronger urge to slap the daylights out of someone - I know for a fact there are brothels on your planet filled with hungry soldiers.
- Yes - you bark back at him - but the people there are working prostitutes, not slaves!
He shrugs, looking somewhere to the side of your face.
- A waste of money, if you'd ask me.
- Good thing no one has - there's venom in your voice, and your betrothed sucks a breath through his teeth.
You curse yourself for leaving your dagger, for not concealing it somewhere in this ridiculous dress, because the way the Harkonnen's expression shifts freezes blood right in your veins. 
He looks at you, amusement tugging at the corners of his lips, while something much darker lurks in his eyes. His bloodied hand comes up, finger making contact with the exposed skin of your shoulder. You can feel the thick liquid stick to your flesh, as he drags his hand down, painting you, marking you.
- You're quite the little viper, my Lady.
Watching him silently, you don't respond. Don't know how to, when he closes the distance between your bodies enough to make you feel the heat radiating off of his chest, while the smell of blood and sweat completely assaults your senses. It's sickening, the way he looks at you, like you're a new toy, just waiting to be unpacked and destroyed by too eager hands. 
- My Uncle, the Baron, has instructed me, to be the utmost gentleman to you. To woo you completely - his voice is low, barely above a whisper, as he grins down at you - But I just can't lie to my future wife like that, can I?
He leans closer and finally, you take a step back, sliding out of his space, assessing a cautious stance. His hand almost follows you, the skin of your shoulder feels conflictingly cold without him.
- Once we're wed, I will possess you completely - this time you stand your ground, as he approaches, circling you like a lion stalking it's prey - And then...
He leans down beside you, shoulder to your shoulder, close enough for you to feel his hot breath graze your ear.
- Like the bull that took your grandfather's life, I shall pierce you.
The violent innuendo doesn't slip past you, and with hatred brewing behind your eyes, you look straight at him, forcing your fear to lay dormant. 
- You're disgusting.
- And you're blushing like a lovely, virgin bride should - he concludes, sending an awful wink your way, before withdrawing from you completely. 
Your veins burn hot, as you watch him leave, a selfish confidence painting his steps, and you beg every God in existence to grant you a sword in your hand. Or a dagger. A kitchen knife would do as well. Anything, that would help you cut this unbeatable, patronizing, infuriatingly handsome smirk from Feyd Rauthas face.
Alas, you're left with nothing, only a small glimmer of hope dangling in front of you, after your damned betrothed's words fully register in your brain.
A bride you might be, but certainly not a virgin one. Duncan Idaho made sure of that many years ago. The thought makes you smile, despite nerves wreaking havoc in your body. At least that's the one thing Feyd Rautha won't be able to take from you.
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planetaryupscaled · 4 months
Text
Disenchanted 5: Second Chance
Male Reader x Karina
Tags: 9k, anal, creampie, dp, oral, threesome
The story is not ours, we alternate the original story to match our desired settings.
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Over the following days leading up to my “marriage counselling session” as I would like to put it much to Karina’s disdain, my feelings on the matter slowly turned from quiet apprehension to anxiety.
Throughout the past couple of months, sneaking around like a bunch of teenagers was such a turn on. The impromptu meet ups and rash actions, down to what went down with Hajoon and Yeonjun, all of it was as a whole, extremely satisfying. My affair with Karina was a rush of fresh air, the fact that I had been fantasizing about her for all these years only for everything between us to come to fruition almost felt like fate.
With Jaewook not knowing a thing while their marriage fell apart never really pulling on my heart strings, till now. He was bound to find out, there was not a chance in hell that Karina and I could hide our chemistry at the best of times, let alone while fucking. It was something I tried to mentally prepare myself for, a task that Karina seemed to have resigned to fate. I could tell by the way she acted that week, her only focus was her kids, career and me.
Jaewook was well and truly out of the picture at this point, he was, how did she put it when describing Hajoon and Yeonjun? He was merely a prop to satisfy her new found desire to be filled simultaneously, to feel the pulse of multiple men release inside her over and over again. The night of the foursome unlocked a different side of her, unchained and willing to settle for nothing less but satisfaction, she was insatiable and I loved it. I would do anything for her, even sacrifice a poor man’s heart and pride if I had to.
I had a brief conversation the night before the meet up with Jaewook. It was for all intents and purposes, the most awkward conversation I have ever had.
“Hey... I suspect you have spoken to Karina?” Jaewook said, his voice was sombre, yet hopeful.
“I- yes...well- about that...” I started.
“Just- please...I...we...have run out of options,” Jaewook replied solemnly.
“I mean... do you really think this is a good idea?” I asked, hopeful he would reconsider.
It was a turn on for me to share Karina in this way, knowing I was the one who satisfied her to the fullest but there was something about doing this with her unsuspecting husband that made the whole ordeal wrong somehow.
“K- Karina and I have spoken about it, it was my idea, I’m thinking if we can get the spark back- perhaps...maybe...” he said.
“I don’t get it...there is no turning back after this,” I said.
My words were empty laced with a hefty dose of hypocrisy. There was no way back no matter what, I just did not want to get caught.
“It- it’s fine, it’s better than what we have now.” Jaewook replied almost defeated.
“I- ok...” I said caving in, knowing I was going to go through with it anyway.
“OK...good...say 6pm, I will send you the details.” Jaewook said with renewed optimism.
I nodded internally, putting down the phone with a sigh, it was really going to happen, this was actually going to go down.
The morning, my eyes shot right open, my body prepped but my mind was still cloudy. Karina kept telling me to let it go, just let it happen she said. We were like polar opposites at this point, almost like I was the one cheating on my other half. I smirked remembering her outrageous comment a few days before. She wanted me to save all my goodness for tonight.
Basically, a vow of celibacy or anything sexual to make my release inside her that much more pulsating as she put it. She really had changed over the past few weeks, coming out of her normally composed shell, demanding what she wanted when she wanted. I loved her for it, it was an extremely sexy trait. Off course I followed suit, making sure I was primed to seed the fuck out of her married pussy that night. My cock twitched just thinking about it, the guilt from the past few days slowly being replaced by a hunger, a lust for what was about to take place. Feeling my phone buzz beneath my pillow I swiped it open only to be greeted by a scantily clad Karina dressed in nothing but some tiny frill line under wear.
“You ready for tonight?” It read.
I replied with a cheeky wink before getting dressed and packing my things. The drive up to the woodlands would take just under two hours, miles away from civilization, it was the perfect setting to heal...or in our case...fuck our problems away. Karina had asked me to stay a couple of nights, with the option of a cabin room or a more adventurous tent setting, I had chosen the latter, not wanting to be near Jaewook for the meantime as much as I could help it. After about 45 minutes I was out of the city, the winding roads welcomed me like a snaking entrance to my truth, my darkest desires. It was calling me, my mind almost in a trance like state as I pictured how tonight would go down, how Jaewook would react, his facial expression as I penetrated his wife over and over again. How long would it take for the penny to drop that this was not our first time? That I had flooded Karina’s cunt with my sticky cum many times over to the point that she would leak from her slit moments afterwards, on occasion going back to him, to his arms. It filled me with trepidation, yet at the same time excitement, almost relief that our passionate affair would be fully in the open.
“Hey stranger...” Karina smiled as I pulled my car up at the cabin.
Jaewook was there waving his hand.
“No worries, we will all get time to get to know each other.” He said in jest.
His joke fell a little flat, eliciting a sharp jab from his Missus as I grinned awkwardly.
The cabin looked just like the ones you see in the films, dark brown decking surrounded by pine trees that lined the outskirts of the property. Despite its foreboding facade the inside of it was warm, a hearty fire was burning bright in the living room, with one of those thick tartan throws in front. I smiled inwardly at the setting, the wood burning fire, cozy looking sheets, it was a setting for one of those porn sets. Karina could read my mind, shaking her head comically as she hid her laughter from Jaewook.
“So... drink?” I said tentatively, setting my bags down by the foot of the door.
“Drink it is!” Jaewook replied, breaking the awkwardness, gesturing towards the kitchen.
“Karina, why don’t you show Minho his tent...Glamping I am told.” He said with a smile.
Pouring me a whiskey on the rocks, I took it straight down, giving me the much-needed kick for tonight’s events as I followed Karina out into the garden. It was more of a vast wooded space than a garden and my large tent was more like an outdoor wooden hut, its roof shaped in a horseshoe complete with working heating and a shower. This was definitely not camping, it was more like a posh outbuilding which overlooked the wooden cabin, having a perfect view of the balcony above.
“Thats...our room.” Karina said, tracking my eyes to the balcony.
The way she said our, making it sound like she was referring to me as she shot me smile before pulling me in for a deep kiss out of eyesight from the main cabin. Her lips tasted sweet, like she had just had a cocktail a few moments before. Laced in sugar, her tongue dove into my mouth, searching my oral cavity with her slickness as I sucked on her soft pink lips.
“Relax...” She said, pecking me on the cheek, leaving a lipstick mark smudged on my face.
I smirked, shrugging my shoulders before sighing.
“You sure you want to do this?” I asked tentatively.
Karina merely smiled, kissing me once more before squeezing my crotch firmly.
“Cum in me first...” she whispered, mirroring what she said to me moments before the sweaty foursome that kicked this all off.
She left leaving the door open, brushing her hair behind her ear as she stalked her way back to the cabin, the soft taps of her heels scrunching against the broken stone pathway. I sat down on the bed, the rustic looking accommodation giving off a strong nordic feel, like I was in the middle of Iceland. I had always wanted to go there, maybe after this Karina and I could go? I shook the daydream out of my head, hearing Jaewook call out to me from the back door of the cabin.
“Bud, everything ok?” He asked.
“Yeah... just- settling in.” I replied.
“Everything...check out, ok?” He asked warmly, popping into the room.
“It’s- perfect.” I replied, clasping my hand on his shoulder as I followed him back to the main house.
“Good- well...Karina and I were wondering if you would like to join us for dinner in a bit, I just need to pop to the shops to get a few supplies.” Jaewook said smiling.
His trust in me was astounding, leaving me alone with Karina knowing what I was here to do was either a masterstroke or a naive move. My thoughts were on the latter as I watched his car snake down the driveway and disappear out of view. Just on cue I turned around to see Karina, her pert rear sticking out slightly as she seductively removed her tight jeans, rolling them down her slender, toned legs, kicking them over to me as she disappeared into her bedroom.
“I need a refill...” Karina called out, shaking her wine glass at me.
We both knew that was not what she meant, she wanted to be filled in other ways as I entered the doorway and stared at her beautiful figure. The smoothness of her skin left me feeling weak at the knees, her bra already removed as the ravishing housewife sat with her back away from me looking back in anticipation.
“What will it be?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“The usual...” Karina replied seductively.
“I want to feel you cum inside me...” She whispered, biting her lips.
It was enough to set any man off as I unbuckled my jeans only to be met by her hands running along the length of my legs, tugging at my underwear, desperate to uncover her prize. My cock sprang to attention, narrowly missing her eye as I lowered my hands down towards her exposed breasts, massaging her soft mounds till her nipples stood at attention. Giving her perfect tits a firm squeeze, I rolled my eyes into the back of my head the moment she took me into her warm mouth. It was instant, my dick being deep throated inside Karina’s moist mouth. Her lips slurped at my shaft, sucking on my meat as she covered me in her silky saliva, covering me fully as my tip rested on her tongue, being teased by the suction coming from her full lips as I ran my hands through her hair. Gripping her head slightly, Karina tilted her face up at me, allowing me to fill her cheeks with cock as the mother of three sucked on my slick dick as sensually as the first time I had penetrated her mouth.
“You...eghmm...taste...mmphhh...so...mmm...fucking good.” Karina moaned against my length.
“Better than your husband? I asked with a cheeky look.
“Fuck my mouth...” Karina replied, as if to prove a point.
I rested the underside of my shaft on her slippery tongue while staring deeply into her brown puppy dog eyes before pumping my cock between her married lips. I watched in awe seeing my length swallowed up inside her wanting mouth, my tip excreting a few drops of precum on her tongue as I held Karina steady and fucked her mouth.
“Mmmphhhh...gluck...gluckk...gluckkk...” Karina hummed, taking my cock inside her luscious mouth over and over again, feeding on my dick.
“Fuck Karina...turn around...” I moaned through gritted teeth.
I slipped out her mouth with a delectable pop, all the saliva coating my length now dripping onto the wooden floor as Karina kicked off her nonexistent underwear which I picked up and held to my face, taking in a good breath of her moist sexual juices smothered on the bottom of her panties. She studied me with a knowing look on her face, hugging the white sheets as she lay on her front, lifting her leg for me ever so slightly.
I knew what she wanted and how she wanted it. The feeling of her brown eyes boring into my face signaling she wanted me inside her, deep and hard. I did not want to disappoint, pumping my cock a few times with my fist before spreading her slick labia with my fingers and spearing her married cunt with my twitching cock, stuffing her cunt with my thick meat. The feeling of filling her completely never got old, the hug of her pussy caressing my shaft as I thrust downwards and up into her love channel smashing my tip against her cervix. The force, rocked Karina, grimacing with a mixture of pain and pleasure as I punished her from behind, her slickness creaming all over my shaft as we mated like rabid animals. Sweat was pouring from my face and onto Karina’s perfect form, pooling in the small of her back where I pressed down, pushing her face into the pillows below, ramming as much of my cock into her tight cunt as humanly possible. The sounds of slapping flesh were permeated by grunts and wails, my balls crashing against her tight rear as I bent over, welcoming her tongue between my lips.
‘Mmmm...fuck...fuckk...deeper...deeper...please...pleaseee...ughhh...” Karina wailed, her face covered in perspiration as I cupped her breasts, pulling her to my chest.
She was basically kneeling upright, my thick cock still penetrating her precious pussy, stretching her gorgeous pink walls out as I fucked the shit out of her. Feeling her body gradually tense up, her ass was first, then the walls of her womb, followed by the trembling of her bronze thighs.
“shitttt...baby...babyy...right...there...” Karina moaned, gyrating her hips onto my groin as I bottomed out inside of her.
“Tell me what you want, SAY IT!” I grunted into her ear.
Grabbing a fistful of my hair, she breathlessly whispered into my mouth.
“In me- cum…inside me...” Karina said wearily.
“Louder!” I yelled into her neck.
“Fucking cum inside me! dump…your…cum…inside me!” Karina screamed in euphoria.
Her body trembled in my arms, stretching and spasming in my grasp as I tamed the her, gripping her hips as I rammed my cock deep inside her womb, erupting with ferocity.
“Karina- Fuck…” I moaned exasperated.
My weeks’ worth of cum came sprinting out the gates, peppering Karina’s married cunt as I continued to feed her tight pussy my salt spunk. She flicked her hips in time with my thrusts as I continued to pump my potent sperm right up inside her slit, jet washing her cervix with my sticky semen as she milked my shaft dry. It was a mess, her snatch was overflowing everywhere, being pushed out with each pump as I pulled her close, seeding her womb and painting her uterus with my cum.
“Ohhh god...I can feel it running inside of me...” Karina said with a smirk.
Our kiss was deep and fleeting, hearing the front door unlock and Jaewook place the shopping in the kitchen.
“Honey...” He called out.
“Shit” We both said in unison, Karina smirking cheekily at me.
Karina’s eyes shot open in fear, yet she still held me close, giving me one final rotation of her hips to suck out the final few drops of thick spunk from my spent cock. Slipping out of her thoroughly fucked cunt, I grabbed my clothes, slinging them in the corner as the remnants of our love affair dribbled onto the wooden floor, Karina’s grool sticking to my thighs as we disengaged.
“Shoot...” I said, scooping it up and tasting her slick sweetness before she ushered me behind the clothes rack.
Karina flipped off the light swiftly, managing to put on her bra, albeit lopsided, before turning away from the door just in time for Jaewook to knock.
“Babe…you in there?” He asked, easing the door open.
“Hey- you.” Karina said, rather flustered.
The room was rather dark, as the sun had gone down already but you could still pick out her features in the dim shadows. Jaewook sighed, almost expectantly, I could see his head move up and down slowly surveying his scantily clad wife.
“Where’s Minho?” He asked, closing the gap.
“He went for a walk.” Karina replied convincingly, skirting away from Jaewook’s outstretched hand.
“I... have to prep dinner.” She followed up, trying to work her way around towards her jeans sprawled on the floor.
There was a strange tension in the room as I held my breath steady, trying my best to remain silent. It was clear to see observing the couple this close that something was not right at all. Karina almost seemed as if she did not want to be touched by Jaewook who in turn kept pursuing her for some semblance of closeness. It was an endless cycle that I knew only had one outcome.
“Karina...wait.” Jaewook said, wrapping his arms around her slim waist.
They were right in front of me, my face hidden only by a row of coat jackets and a few shift dresses. I could still smell Karina’s perfume on her hanging clothes, sweet on the senses assaulted by the powerful smell of her sticky sexual juices still smeared on my legs, I loved it.
“Jaewook wait, Minho might come back any time now.” Karina said reluctantly.
“Pfft...I mean we are all going to go through with this, what’s the harm in... starting a little early?” Jaewook replied.
I could see the outline of his hands roam her chest, unclasping her bra and letting it fall to the floor. Almost as if taking the path of least resistance Karina shrugged off his hands.
“Just- make it quick...” She said, peering at me behind the clothes rack.
Even through the darkness, I could tell her face was more apologetic rather than anything else, as if she was ashamed to be doing this right in front of me.
“Karina...I...have...missed...you...so...much,” Jaewook said, his breaths getting shallower as I heard his zipper go down.
There was a slight pause as he held her close, spreading her legs shoulder width apart and easing Karina over. Just like the first time I witnessed them two fucking, it was doggie style, his preferred choice of penetration it seemed. Moving one of the coats ever so slightly, I peered through the darkness, Karina catching the glint in my eye off the moonlight streaming through the window. She took a deep intake of breath as I saw her facial expression change from uncomfortable to a hint of pleasure. Jaewook gently pushed forward, spearing his wife’s cunt in one motion, bottoming out in her slick, tight pussy.
“God...you are so wet...” Jaewook said, almost pleased with himself.
“I- uhhh...came...prepared,” She shot back almost immediately.
It was a sordid sight, seeing the woman that I loved being fucked by her husband, each pump of his cock causing my pre discharged spunk to flow so effortlessly out of her. The squelching sounds of his meat irrigating Karina’s sex of my seed as he filled her precious womb was oddly, a massive turn on. I could feel my member start to grow, unconsciously dropping my hand to rub my tip.
“Jaewook- hurry...ughhh.” Karina moaned unconvincingly.
He picked up the pace, the sounds of his hips smashing off her ass now all you could hear, drowning out his grunts of pleasure as he pumped his wife. Karina was rather unbalanced, rocking back and forth as she fell backwards on top of him.
“Wait, wait, just…just lie back...let me...” She said, her breathing a little ragged.
“God baby, it’s been too long... fucking ride me.” He said, lying on the bed with outstretched arms.
Karina pushed her ass out, sitting on his lap, rotating her hips and looking directly at the clothes rail. Gaining a bit of confidence, I stepped out slightly uncovering my cock through the fabric so that she could see what I was doing. We locked eyes as Karina rode her husband in reverse cowgirl now, straddling his lap and flicking her hips.
“Ughhhh...ughhh...just...like that...” Karina moaned.
I watched as Jaewook grabbed her hips and pulled her towards him, stuffing more of his cock into her primed and well fucked pussy. Taking the opportunity with Jaewook being distracted, I grabbed Karina’s soaked underwear from the floor, wrapping it around my stiff cock and jerking methodically. Rocking my head back I could feel Karina watching me, her moans were getting loader as I could tell Jaewook was rubbing hard up against her cervix. Staring at each other again, I picked up the pace which she duly followed, riding her husband wildly, fucking more meat into her tight cunt.
The sight of her getting railed was hitting the right buttons, my balls starting to churn as I felt my cum travel up my shaft and shoot from my tip. I was quick enough to catch every drop inside her soft silky underwear, continuing to milk my dick of my essence while watching Karina approach her crescendo.
“Ughhhh...I’m- I’m...cuming...shitt...ughhhh.” Karina wailed, her arms outstretched towards me.
Jaewook was bucking his hips, pumping his straining cock into his wife. His hands gripping her hips as he reached the point of no return.
“Karina...baby...take it, fucking...take...it...” Jaewook groaned, taking all his frustration out on forcing more of his cum deep inside her womb.
He was still cumming inside her when I stepped forward, pouring my cum down Karina’s open mouth, pooling on her lips as she swallowed my load sensually, taking my fingers with it as I stuffed her drenched underwear into her mouth. Karina and I locked eyes once more, her hands spearing out to my crotch, giving my spent cock a few pumps before tasting my semen on her fingertips. I knew this was the beginning of a long night, seeing her motion towards the door while still flicking her hips and milking her husband. Ducking low and grabbing my clothes, I slipped silently out the room, making my way to the cabin to clean up.
I had no idea how long I had been in the shower afterwards by the time Karina came knocking on my door. She wore a sheepish smile on her face as I opened the door, only to be greeted by Karina in the tightest little outfit I had ever seen her in. Dressed in a white miniskirt and some sort of crop top bra, she kissed me on the cheek, slapping my balls, before giving me a cheeky little dance routine.
“Dinner in five, wear something- comfortable.” She said, winking at me before returning to the house.
I was in utter shock, this evening had been crazy already, in some ways more outrageous that the night with Yeonjun and Hajoon. This was with her husband... and he seemed to be all for it. Walking through the backdoor, Jaewook greeted me immediately with a beer.
“Hey man, thanks for... going for that walk earlier, me and Karina had time to reconnect...” He said with a sly smile.
“What are you guys talking about?” Karina said, as she popped open a bottle of wine.
“Nothing… just about our little warm up earlier,” He said, jovially.
Jaewook’s mood had taken a turn for the better, buoyed by his little fuck session with Karina earlier. Unbeknownst to him, I had already... how do we say it... pumped and dumped a weeks’ worth of my pent-up seed deep inside her marital cunt. There was probably a good chance that a few of my soldiers were swimming around in her womb right now.
“Well- practice makes perfect.” Karina, shot back in jest.
“Well...I think you enjoyed yourself babe.” Jaewook said with confidence.
‘Jaewook? seriously? time and place.” Karina replied, her cheeks going red as we caught each other’s glance’s.
“This looks amazing Karina.” I said, changing the subject.
The table was all laid out, a full-on roast, a bit heavy I thought given what we were about to do. Saying that however we would need a lot of energy so maybe it was the correct decision. It was a strange atmosphere at first, the awkwardness was palpable will we got to the second bottle of wine.
“So, Minho- are you...excited about later?” He asked raising his eyebrows.
“Who said anything about later, now is as good as any.?” I replied, winking over at Karina as I took another sip of beer.
“Easy, can’t have you throwing up all this well-prepared food.” Jaewook said laughing.
The banter continued throughout the night, both Karina and I eye fucking each other whenever Jaewook looked away. It was getting harder and hard to hide our chemistry as I offered to do the dishes, brushing Karina’s hands as I picked up the dirty plates. The look she gave me almost made me pin her tight frame against the kitchen table and rail her right there. We both knew she would have let me, irrespective of Jaewook being there or not.
“Ehh leave it in the sink.” Jaewook said, a slight slur in his words.
“Yes...lets...crack open another bottle in the living room.” Karina said, squeezing my hands discretely as she passed by.
The small gesture brought a smile to my face as I followed the couple to the living room, complete with a brightly lit fire and tartan rug on the floor. I remembered my first though of the setting, like a porn set.
“All we need is a camera.” I blurted out.
Karina looked at me shocked, her expression was priceless as she slapped my arm rather firmly.
“Ha…I love the way you think.” Jaewook replied, finishing off his drink.
“What do you say babe?” He followed up, kissing Karina on the cheek and pulling her close.
“I- don’t think… no, not tonight.” She said, slightly embarrassed and taking a seat on the far side of the couch.
Jaewook looked at me rather disappointed to which I just ushered my hands down signaling him to drop it. Karina gave me an appreciative smile as Jaewook sat down next to her leaving the single leather-bound seat next to the fireplace for me. From this angle, I could see all the way up Karina’s bronze leg, my gaze practically eye fucking her next to her husband which did not go unnoticed.
“So... here we are...” Jaewook said rather suggestively, grazing his hand on Karina’s knee.
“Do...you like him watching babe?” He followed up, taking another sip of his beer and drifting his hand ever so slowly up her smooth thighs.
“Mmm...hmmm.” Karina sighed never leaving my gaze as I felt a tug in my trousers.
This was it, the moment we had been working up towards, for the past week or so. Jaewook’s eyes were filled with lust as he leant over, kissing Karina along her nape, his tongue extending, licking her down her chest, freeing her left breast from her top. I could feel the tension in the room slowly dissipate, replaced my sexual energy emanating from all three of us. Studying every contour of her face, she closed her eyes, rolling her head back the moment Jaewook made contact with her sex, his fingers audibly penetrating her labia as I heard the slickness of her cunt squelch with each thrust of his forearm. Watching Karina, mouth agape, staring back at me while Jaewook sensually fingered her was one which would stay with me forever.
“Ughhhh...” Karina moaned gently as Jaewook pleasured her cunt.
“You see Minho...she isn’t as intimidating as you thought.” Jaewook said softly, increasing the thrusts of his fingers.
Karina had her legs wide open at this point, giving me a perfect view of her husband inserting another two fingers into her perfectly slick pussy, the way her lips hugged his probing digits were complimented perfectly by her soft moans and gyrating hips. I felt my cock stir in my pants again, unzipping my trousers to comfort my straining cock, eager to get in on the action.
“Looks like our guest is almost ready...” Jaewook said, his voice in a sex fueled trance.
“Lie down for me...” He said, kissing Karina on the neck and feeding her his fingers.
Lost in a drunk lustful haze, Karina lay down, spreading her legs for him as Jaewook positioned himself between her toned thighs. Her head rested on the couch armrest, face turned towards me extending her tongue in my direction. With one swift thrust, Jaewook had fucked his cock right up to the hilt, causing the couch to creak under the force.
“Ughhhhh...” Karina moaned; her eyes fixated on my raging cock as I pumped myself to the sordid view in front of me.
“Fuck… you feel so good baby...” Jaewook moaned, grabbing her by the hips and railing his dick deep inside her womanly cavern.
Each thrust of his cock bringing about a sharp groan from Karina who had now reached out a hand towards me beckoning me to come closer.
“It’s OK bro... come...have a try...” Jaewook said, pumping his cock into Karina once more.
Taking one last swig of my beer I kicked off my trousers and walked over to Karina’s face. Her head was overhanging on the armrest, perfect for what I had planned. It was almost as if she had read my mind, pulling me in close for a deep kiss before whispering in my ear.
“Cum down my throat...” She said, licking me up my cheek as I positioned her upside-down, head between my legs.
Jaewook saw this little interaction but it did not affect him in the way I thought it would. I was sure he must have known there was something going on with Karina and I by how comfortable we were in each other’s company, the countless stares across the room must have been seen by him at least once. Now a passionate kiss while he was balls deep inside her would be the final straw. Never the less, it seemed to spur him on, egg him forward as he intensified his pumps into Karina, fucking her cunt with reckless abandon.
“Minho...do...it...fuck...my wife’s mouth...” He groaned through gritted teeth.
Karina’s eyes were wide and longing, her breasts bouncing up awkwardly with each full force fuck from her husband’s. Reaching up between my thighs she wrapped her tiny hands around my base and began to jerk. Her thumb running circles along my slit whilst her other hand squeezed hard on my balls as I positioned my tip at the entrance of her mouth. It was such a sexy scene, seeing Jaewook thrust his meat all the way up Karina’s tight cunt while her face lay upside down between my legs, mouth at my mercy. Not taking a moment to process anything I pumped my hips forward, stuffing her mouth full of my cock till my tip reached her tonsils.
“mmpphhh...gluck...gluck...gluckk.”
Spit was pooling at the side of Karina’s mouth, her lips wrapped firmly around my shaft as both Jaewook and I pumped her from both ends, ravaging her pussy and oral cavity all at once. It was savage the way we pleasured ourselves without a thought for her comfort, lost in a world of our own as he railed her tight body relentlessly. Grabbing both of her breasts, I squeezed down hard on her nipples making Karina moan around my meat as Jaewook gripped her hips even tighter, eager to stuff her cunt with as much of his cock as he could. The feeling of Karina’s tongue lapping up my precum dribbling into her mouth was euphoric, her lips providing just the right amount of suction as I skull fucked the housewife on the sofa. I groaned at her touch as she popped me out of her mouth and allowed me to teabag her. Taking each of my orbs between her lips, then both at the same time, while jacking my slippery cock covered in her warm saliva as I continued to knead her perfect tits. Looking up, Jaewook was close, it was strange as Karina had always requested me to cum in her first. It was like we were thinking the same thing as I looked down and saw her eyes pleading with mine, knowing her husband was close she popped me back in her mouth and began to suck me with ferocity.
“Fuckk...karina...suck...me...” I moaned, gripping her face and fucking my meat deep into her throat.
She was gagging but did not care, eager for me to win the race to spill inside her first. Karina was good, her tongue finding a rhythm with my penetrative strokes as I pumped her throat, she sucked my tip on exit making my balls churn hard. I could feel I was there, running my fingers through her hair once more I fucked her face deep into the armrest with a loud thud. My cock exploded between her lips as a torrent of cum flooded her mouth, Karina’s lips remained pursed, sealing my seed inside her oral chamber as I continued to pump her throat full of my warm sticky sperm. The whole sight must have triggered Jaewook, seeing me pulse down his wife’s throat with ferocity he thrust his cock as far as he could into her tight cunt unleashing his load inside her twitching womb.
“Fuckk...babee...” Jaewook growled, his cock spasming with each subsequent follow through as Karina rubbed furiously at her clit.
We were filling her up at both ends, pumping our seed deep inside her pussy and mouth at the same time as she writhed in pleasure. Bending over her face I took her pert and sweaty nipples between my lips and began to suck, rubbing at her throbbing clit as Jaewook continued to thrust his cock inside his wife. My member was still between her lips as Karina continued to keep my cock as a prisoner within her mouth, not stopping for a moment in sucking me bone dry, she wanted to get me hard again. I could hear her swallowing with each suck of her lips, taking down my sperm into her stomach as I felt her thighs start to tense.
“Ughhhh...fuckk...minho...minho...fuckkk...baby...” She moaned as I attacked her clit with my fingers.
I looked up between sucks of her tits, seeing Jaewook withdraw his spent cock from her cunt as I felt Karina suck down hard on my cock once more, her tongue working wonders around my meat, bringing it back to life as she climaxed hard around my fingers. Fucking her with my digits with deep strokes, I basically scooped Jaewook’s cum out of her cunt as I fucked her face while rubbing deep inside her pussy, reaching her g-spot and applying pressure.
“Babeee...” She yelled, bucking her hips as she squeezed her legs shut around my hands, twitching in pleasure.
Her juices were all over my fingers, together with Jaewook’s essence which I fed into her waiting mouth. It must be the first time she had tasted his cum as his expression was priceless. By this time, I had already regained my hardness, slipping from her lips with a slurp. She looked at me and I knew what she wanted, kneeling up and extending her hands towards me. Picking the sexy ass up I guided her to the nearby wall, her hands on my shaft, jerking it. With a look of lust Karina looked at me and then nodded, raising her legs for me, before glancing at Jaewook.
Knowing what she wanted immediately I closed the gap, pushing my tip into her wanting sex with ease. Karina’s pussy juice and grool, together with Jaewook’s cum creating a thick film of lubricant for me to penetrate her aching cunt.
“Shit...you…fuck...me...good...” She whispered in my ear as she wrapped one of her legs around my waist.
My thrusting starting off slow, building in speed and power, I wanted to savor every moment inside her married pussy while Jaewook watched behind us. The pump of my hips slapping against her groin each time I fucked more cock inside his wife was such a thrill. Having Karina whisper sweet nothings in my ear knowing I was going to seed her cunt while her husband watch, turned her on to no avail.
“Cum in me while he watches...” She whispered repeatedly into my ear.
“Fill me up baby...just like that.” She followed up.
I picked up the pace, filling her womb with more of my cock as I smashed up against her cervix, my tip attacking, reaching maximum depth as I fucked her onto her tip toes. It was at that point I had an idea, picking Karina up and turning her around.
“Her ass Jaewook...fuck her ass...” I said breathlessly, pumping my dick deep inside her twitching pussy.
“What...umm...but...she does not...” Jaewook started.
“Fucking do it.” Karina snapped back.
He followed suit, grabbing her waist as I spread her ass cheeks for him. I could tell when he filled her anal cavity by the look on Karina’s face the moment she was stuffed by two cocks simultaneously.
“Fuckk...” Karina groaned into my mouth, wrapping her hands around my neck as her thighs tightened around my waist.
“Fuckkk Karina...your ass...it feels...feels...amazing.” Jaewook moaned, rolling his head back.
“Over there, Jaewook lean against the banister.” I said motioning to the stairs.
All three of us waddled over to the stairs as Jaewook leant back on the cool wooden railings. Karina knew what was coming as I pinned her back firmly onto Jaewook’s chest as he continued to irrigate her ass with cock. Kissing her deeply she bit my lip hard as I she held on tightly to my shoulders. Reaching forward I gripped the wooden rails either side of Karina’s and Jaewook’s head before ramming my cock hard and deep into her cunt. The force withdrew Jaewook’s cock from her ass, slipping out of her tight fuck hole before he recovered and reentered her asshole.
“Ohhhh...fuckkkk...ughhhhh...ughhhhh...” Karina screamed.
Her face was all scrunched up, a mixture of pleasure and pain as I fucked my cock deep inside her married pussy, her cervix taking a battering as my crown smashed repeatedly against her insides. The walls of her cunt no longer tight around my shaft, almost relaxed now, accepting defeat as I had my way with her, ramming my cok hard and deep into her wanting slit, stretching her pussy out while Jaewook thrusted up her tight ass.
It was a thing of beauty, perfect teamwork, all three of us working in unison, Karina accepting our meat, Jaewook and I fucked Karina with vigor as we pumped her full of cock. The noise of slapping flesh and groans rung out everywhere as I felt my balls churn once more. I could see Jaewook grimacing behind his wife as Karina moaned desperately in my ear.
“Minho...Minho...I’m close...fill me up...fucking...dump...it...in...baby...” She moaned in euphoria.
“fuckkk...minhoo...” She screamed, biting down hard and climaxing with two men filling her up.
I had no idea if he heard her say that, if he did, he did not care, too caught up in pumping his staining cock up inside Karina’s anal cavity to notice, his face now pent up, ready to unload.
“Karina...baby...I’m...I’m...coming.” I groaned, kissing her deeply as I thrust my cock deep inside her cunt one last time.
Bottoming out inside her womb I unleashed a flood of cum inside her pink folds, pumping my potent seed into her precious cunt. I could feel her pussy lips struggle to contain my load as I continued to pump her cunt full of my sperm, my sticky semen dripping down my thighs as I painted her pink walls white. All the gyrations set Jaewook off as I felt his hips jerk. He was dumping his load into her gaping ass while I fueled her cunt with my cum. Both of us unloading inside Karina in unison, jet washing her insides with our cums was as seedy as it got. Feeling her scratch at my back as she accepted both of our loads was perfect, her body twitching in my arms while I filled her womb to the brim while Jaewook filed her anally, injecting her with his sticky sperm.
The three of us stayed in this position for what seemed like forever before Karina slipped free of our grasp and dropped to her knees taking both mine and Jaewook’s cock’s between her lips. Seeing Karina suck on both of us, licked and drank up the remnants of both of our loads
“Take me upstairs...” Karina said, looking up at me while pumping my shaft in her right hand and her husband’s in her left.
Without saying a word Jaewook picked her up and carried her over his shoulders up the stairs. I watched, studying her rear and taking in the utter destruction of her lower half dripping with copious amounts of spunk and sex, smothered all over the back of her thighs and along her ass cheeks. It looked like Jaewook was in the best mood I had ever seen in a while as he turned to me at the top of the landing, waving for me come join them.
“Minho, get up here.” He bellowed enthusiastically down the stairs.
I ran up with a spring in my step anticipating the next steps on our messed-up fuck affair. As I entered, Jaewook already had Karina up against the wall, his face buried in-between her luscious legs as the sounds of his tongue working overtime on her freshly fucked cunt was all you could hear. He must have had my load smeared all over his face but it was too late, Jaewook was too far gone, lost in a mad lust fueled rage, eagerly sucking Karina to completion while she writhed against his face. Stepping forward I planted my lips on her mouth, tasting her tongue while we swapped spit. Moving behind her I lifted her right leg on top of Jaewook’s shoulder, giving him more access to explore her sex with his mouth. I wanted her ass and she knew this the moment she felt my tip brush her rosebud. Karina was still red raw from the anal fucking Jaewook had given her downstairs, his seed still leaked from her asshole as I ignored all notion of morals, resting my crown at her tightest entrance. Karina looked back at me, taking my lips between hers and biting down hard.
“Fuck me...” She whispered in my ear.
“Take me nice and deep…” She followed up, drinking down my spit as she pushed her ass back onto my lap, piercing her anal canal with my cock.
It felt tremendous, her tightness coupled with the softness of fucking Karina anally was immensely satisfying. Each pump of my hips spewing Jaewook’s load which rested deep inside her asshole to come flowing out, like a river of seed, dribbling purposely down her legs as I stuffed her ass full of my meat. The sounds of Jaewook slurping on his wife’s slit was getting louder, my thrusts deeper, stretching Karina out as she rolled her head back on my shoulder.
“Ohhh...aahhh...fuckkk...me...ughhh...suck...me...shitt…” She yelled, bucking her hips as her climax reached its peak.
Karina ground her hips hard onto Jaewook’s mouth, fucking his face with her cunt as I continued to rail into her rear from behind, feeling the aftershocks of her orgasm contract her anal cavity around my shaft, sucking on my slick cock in earnest, begging me to fill her void. I was close, so close, gripping Karina’s hips tightly as I fed her my meat, ramming my cock hard and deep into her asshole, fucking her raw.
“Baby…” Karina moaned, to which Jaewook released his face from her cunt lips only to be pushed back down by her wandering hands.
“Babe...” She moaned again.
I knew she was talking to me, I knew what she wanted as I doubled down and fucked her ass harder and deeper than before, bottoming out in her anal canal as I felt my spunk building. Karina tensed her walls up just in time, sucking my sperm out the tip as I coated her asshole in my sticky seed, pumping wave after wave of sperm into her bowels.
“Fuckk...karina...” I growled like passionately, feeding more of my seed up her tight married ass.
Like a man possessed, I lifted Karina off Jaewook’s face and dumped her face down on the bed, fucking my spasming cock deep inside her ass as we interlocked hands in the prone position. Grinding my hips into her rump, Karina pushed back softly, gagging to be filled up by my load as the last of my cum fired into her ass. I rolled over, absolutely knackered as Karina regained her breath slapping my arm, smiling at me seductively, sweat covering her face her hair all over the place.
I could feel Jaewook’s eyes on us, leering at Karina as he joined her on the other side, rubbing eagerly at her red raw rump while pointing his tip at her thick lips. Just like our time with Hajoon and Yeonjun, Karina was beyond caring about their fractious marriage, the only thing that mattered in this moment was fulfilling her deepest desires, to be filled repeatedly and fucked long and hard, like one massive mating ritual. She opened her mouth, accepting Jaewook’s cock between her lips and began to suck.
“Ohhhh...Karina...just...like...that...” He moaned, smiling over to me.
Running his fingers through her hair he forced her mouth deeper onto his length fucking right into her moist gullet as he fed his wife more of his meat. The slurps from Karina’s mouth were infectious, goading me on to filing her from the other side once more as I ran my finger up her moist labia, slipping my fingers deep into her cunt while she sucked her husband. Her nectar was all over my digits, translucent grool sticking to my palms as I penetrated her cunt over and over again, finding her g-spot once more and stroking her with rapid flicks of my finger.
“Yesshmmm...” Karina moaned, on Jaewook’s cock, feeling me invade her cunt with my fingers.
Gyrating her hips on my palms I looked up at Jaewook who had a grin on his face, savoring his wife’s lips wrapped around his shaft. I placed my spare hand on the back of her head, forcing her to take him into her throat as she looked at me alarmed, eyes watering.
“God you are a bad one Minho.” Jaewook said chuckling as Karina shot me the dirtiest look before sucking down hard on his cock once more.
“Let me cum down your throat baby.” He moaned, thrusting into Karina’s mouth with rapid pumps.
She shook her head, comically smiling at me around Jaewook’s meat.
“Uhhhh...uhhhhh.” Karina moaned, releasing Jaewook from her mouth and jacking his cock.
The look on his face was one of disappointment laced in a bit of jealousy as he looked at me, Karina massaging my sack with her fingers.
“But...you let him unload in your mouth, I’m your husband...” Jaewook said, his voice showing a growing tone of annoyance.
Karina shot me a look of concern at the abrupt turn of events before I chirped in quickly.
“Mate I probably put her off with my taste, besides I basically had her pinned down at the time.” I said laughing awkwardly.
“I guess...” He replied, distracted by Karina pressing his slit with her thumb.
I looked at Karina slightly relieved, with danger averted for now, she took it in turns blowing Jaewook and I while frigging her sopping wet sex.
“God Karina you suck me so good.” I groaned, fucking her face gently with my cock.
“She sure knows what she’s doing.” Jaewook said breathlessly.
“Mmmmm.” Karina replied spreading her warm spittle along my length while pleasuring me with her lips.
“Dance for us...” Jaewook said, suddenly, taking a step back and sitting on the foot of the bed.
Giving me one last, long suck, Karina took me into the back of her throat, nibbling at my crown on exit before slipping me out of her warm mouth and standing up. Karina had something about her tonight, a hunger that grew as the night went on, right now she looked insatiable, her lips pursed as she swayed her body in a trance like slither, swaying to the music playing in her head.
Jaewook and I gave our full attention as Karina gyrated in front of us, reaching out with both bands and jerking slowly at our erect cocks, straining to be inside her once more. Glancing over at Jaewook, he wore the same face that I saw when Karina was riding him earlier tonight, a lustful anger that I could not explain. Partially due to the frustration he faced when doing anything he wanted with Karina physically that was, always rebuffed in some way or another. With me she was as free as a bird, allowing me to take her any which way I pleased, in her mouth, pussy or ass, I was spoilt always for choice.
“Karina baby, do me like you did earlier...” Jaewook said subtly.
She glanced over at me smiling, which I returned in kind, remembering the semen soaked panties I stuffed in her mouth while she climaxed on her husband’s spurting cock a few hours ago. Turning around seductively, Karina gave us one final wink before lining herself up with Jaewook’s throbbing cock. In one fluid motion the sexy housewife opened her legs and dipped her body down upon her husband’s cock, impaling her slippery cunt on his meat till she bottomed out.
“Ohhh...god...” Karina mewed, feeling Jaewook fill her unfaithful pussy.
I had lost count on how many times she had been seeded, how many times I had dumped my cum deep inside her married pussy, fired into her uterus and pumped into her cunt. Just seeing her with Jaewook knowing I was the one she wanted drove me insane. Their position was different from earlier with Karina leaning back placing her hands on Jaewook’s chest. His palms supporting her weight, gripping Karina tightly by the waist as he pumped his dick right up into her tight cunt.
“Fuck baby you feel better than ever...” Jaewook growled, ramming his cock deep inside his wife.
The slap of his balls against her slit really got me going as I planted on long kiss on her mouth, tasting her spit between my lips. Stalking her like a tiger, I walked over till I was between her legs, watching Jaewook penetrate her perfect pussy over and over again. The smell of sex and fresh grool was in the air along with cums oozing out of Karina’s ass crack and cunt. Looking at her seductively, she knew she was about to get well and truly fucked, my tip grazing her throbbing clit as I fisted my cock head a few times to get myself nice and hard.
“You ever taken two cock inside your pussy at the same time Karina?” I asked in a sinister tone.
Her eyes shot wide open, mouth unable to protest as Jaewook continued pumping her cunt with his meat, gripping her waist and thrusting as far as he could go within her pink walls. I kissed her once more, squeezing down hard on her breasts as I lined myself up with her slit, Jaewook still fucking her nice and deep. Without a moment’s hesitation I pushed forward, feeling the walls of Karina stretch out, my cock was sliding up against Jaewook, a surreal sensation no doubt. In the cold light of day, I would never even contemplate it, but looking at Karina, in this moment, I wanted to fill her out, stretch her cunt as much as possible, stuff her with as much meat as she could take.
“Aawww...ahhhhh...godd...ughhhhhhh” Karina grimaced as I pushed halfway in.
Jaewook gripped her even tighter, figuring out he was not the only one inside her pussy right now as I also invaded her space, deciding to bury his cock right up inside her womb as we jostled for position. It was a tight squeeze, I could see her labia engulfing mine and Jaewook’s cock’s, we were splitting her cunt in half. With one final thrust I was in, balls deep. Both Jaewook and I resumed our pumping, smashing her cervix with the tips of our cock’s in unison as we filled her womb with our meat.
“Ughh...wait...Guys...UGHHHHH”. Karina screamed.
Her face was all screwed up, hands wavering under the increasing pressure of both Jaewook and I drilling her cunt mercilessly. The slaps of my balls against her red raw pussy now causing her to hyperventilate as I gripped her breasts and kissed her deep, forcing my tongue into her mouth and thrusting my meat deep inside her womb. Karina had now collapsed on top of Jaewook almost like a rag doll as we had our way with her. Every time he pumped more meat into her pussy I followed soon after, double stuffing her vagina, stretching her to the limit. Karina and I locked eyes in this moment, her face glazed over in lust as my palms massaged her abused clitoris while penetrating her depths.
“Cum for me...” I whispered into her ear, increasing the thrusts of my cock into her pussy as Jaewook doubled down on his pumps.
“UIghhhhh...ahhhhh...ohhh...shit...shittt...ahhhhh” Karina screamed.
Her legs were shaking, her pussy just taking the mass penetration. Feeling her walls finally contract around our shafts, she nearly passed out, shaking in pleasure as her cunt creamed all over our member’s, coating us both in her luscious nectar as I felt my balls pulse.
“Karina...Karina...keep...going...” I said gritting my teeth.
She pulled me close, gyrating her spasming cunt to take us both in.
“Knocked me the fuck up...” She whispered.
It was all I needed to hear, thrusting my cock deep inside her walls as I bottomed out against her battered cervix, my cock exploding inside her as I coated her walls white. Wave after wave of my sperm poured out into her welcoming cunt, seeding her married pussy as my pulsing dick seemed to trigger Jaewook. He started unloading too, spraying his warm sticky cum inside Karina’s well fucked pussy. Spurt after spurt, both from Jaewook and myself, peppered her unfaithful womb as we flooded her with our warm cums, seeding her cunt as she reveled in the feeling of being pumped full of sperm. We were fuel injecting her pussy for a good five minutes, never stopping in thrusting into her womb as we eventually came to a stop, Jaewook slipping out first to a torrent of cum cascading out of her slit. We were spent, Jaewook was finished, eventually falling asleep on the far side of the bed.
It was in this moment that Karina and I knew the truth, it was truly over between her and Jaewook, this was almost like the final goodbye, only he was not aware of it. Karina looked at me longingly, her face tired, body used and abused. Yet despite this she managed to crawl into my arms and kiss me gently, taking me into her mouth as I caressed her shaking body while Jaewook slept beside us.
“Thank you...” She said.
“For what?” I asked.
“For doing this, for him, for me...this is it, my parting gift for him...my goodbye...” She replied.
There was a hint of sorrow in her eyes at all the years that they were together which I washed away the moment my lips touched hers once more. Stroking her inner thighs she barely registered I was inside her again, scooping out the messy cum oozing out her slit.
“I guess this is your Truth and Reconciliation.” I mused, kissing her forehead.
“Yeah, I guess so.” She said, looking at me playfully.
“What...you want more?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.
“Well...he’s asleep...so…” Karina replied.
“So…?” I asked, amused.
“So... cum down my throat while he’s not watching already.” She said devilishly.
With that, she was on my cock again kissing me down my chest ever so slowly, slurping down my meat between her lips as her tongue lapped up the remnants of my cum, previously released inside her married cunt. Running my fingers through her head while I fed her my straining cock, I reveled in the feeling of her tongue the underside of my shaft, teasing me with each lick.
“Take it...Karina...all...the...way...” I moaned, letting her gorge on my cock.
“Mmmmm...” She moaned around my cock.
Her soft hands massaged my balls in a calculating manner, squeezing my sack softly to elicit my precum to release onto her soft tongue. Each bob of her head allowed me to fuck her face deeper, glancing over to Jaewook sleeping peacefully, unknowingly next to the man who would be pumping his cum down his woman’s throat any second now. It was something she never did for him, ever, a fact I always loved as I cupped her face tenderly.
“You close...?” She asked between slurps.
“Ughhh...yeah...just...a little...more...” I moaned.
“Dump your load in my throat...fuck my mouth...” Karina replied, looking up at me wantonly.
I gripped her face and did just that, pushing my meat all the way down her gullet before releasing my seed into her mouth.
“MMmmm...mmghhhfff.” Karina moaned, taking my sperm into her stomach.
She kept sucking, her lips never relenting as she drank down my sperm with an unmatched appetite. I could tell she loved the fact that Jaewook was right next to us as she kept looking at him while sucking on my spurting dick.
“You suck me so good.” I sighed.
Stroking her face, she showed me the mess I had made in her mouth before swallowing my sticky semen in one go.
“I guess...we better tell him...” I said, with a cheeky smile.
“Hmmm...tomorrow...tonight I want you to fuck me some more...” Karina said seductively, jerking my spent cock in her hands.
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after-witch · 8 months
Text
Two in the Hand [Yandere Sukuna x reader]
Title: Two in the Hand [Yandere Sukuna x reader]
Synopsis: Sukuna wants to eat you. 
Word count: 1000ish
Notes: yandere, threats of cannibalism, mentions of sexual conquests 
Inspired by the interaction prompt: Sukuna says he wants to eat you. Reader replies: "Ah, I'm flattered, but I'm saving myself for marriage!"
Tumblr media
The dual reactions on Yuji’s--but not entirely Yuji’s--face play out swiftly. Yuji’s cheeks flush a pinker hue at your words, while the mouth currently planted in the center of one cheek curls downward… and then upward. 
It’s almost dizzying, the way you’re trying to pay attention to both of them at once. Yuji, your friend; Sukuna, the curse currently lodged inside him, of which you can only see a mouth that has shifted location three times during Sukuna’s diatribe about consuming you.
He means it literally. You realized this early on. Or rather, he admitted it directly without so much as a metaphor when he discussed the best cuts of human meat, the best ways to consume it to ensure best flavor, and the way that he wonders if modern humans taste better or worse than their predecessors. 
“You would let your spouse consume your flesh?” Sukuna asks, and Yuji slaps his hand over the demonic lips on his face to silence them.
”Just--” Yuji begins, but he cringes--
The lips reappear on the top of Yuji’s hand, unbothered. 
“Answer me, human. Or I’ll eat you right now.”
You almost want to ask him how he plans to eat you when he’s currently a pair of lips, but if Sukuna can make the lips on Yuji’s body speak, perhaps it’s not far off to assume they might be able to tear at your flesh.
So you start to think, and think quickly. You keep your posture meek and you even give a little bow.
"Of-of course, Sukuna." You pause. Should you call him something more deferential? It might help. You've gained the strongest sense that he sees himself as vastly superior to everyone else in the world, human and curse alike. "I mean, of course, lord Sukuna. I'd be happy to offer an explanation."
If only you could think of a proper one, beyond your initial excuse, stammered out because you didn’t know what else to say to such an awful, violent, disturbing threat aimed at you from a demonic pair of lips. 
There's a moment of silence. Two, three or four. And the lips on Yuji's hand--still there, despite Yuji attempting to literally shake them off--begin frown again. They’re starting to twist, perhaps to threaten you again, when you perk up.
“It’s just that…” You lower your head in deference again. Yuji quirks his head, but you can see from the corner of your eye that the lips have ceased to curl downward. “Being devoured is the ultimate act of intimacy. And if I’m going to be one with someone forever, my lord, it’s only proper that it’s my spouse.” 
You fiddle with the edge of your shirt. “I certainly couldn’t imagine some stranger consuming me, keeping me with them forever like that. It wouldn’t be right. It wouldn’t be proper.”
You swallow against spit and the faintest hint of bile, before daring to glance up. Yuji’s gaze goes between you and his hand, until--
Laughter comes from the lips embedded into his skin, low and mean. You can imagine, if Sukuna were in front of you, that he would throw his head back in mockery. 
And then, Sukuna says something. It’s not a word that makes any sense, really. But Yuji throws his head back and suddenly, he’s not Yuji at all.
He’s Sukuna.
With black markings on his face and a look in his eyes that makes you want to run. Only then, a thought comes to mind, something your father told you when you were little, and hiking in the woods: 
Never run from a predator. It only makes them chase you.
“You’re most entertaining,” he says, while you stand there, open-mouth, trembling like a cold wind has blown through the air. 
“Entertaining?” You parrot. You take a step back, and he matches it forward.
“Most humans are too frightened to do anything but beg for their lives, if they even get that far, when I threaten to eat them.”
You force your hands into fists and will them to stop shaking. They don’t.
“I suppose,” you begin, looking downward, partially out of the fear of not showing respect and partially out of the way you hate to look at him. “That most people are concerned with dying when they hear you say that.”
Sukuna’s smile widens into a grin.
“And you aren’t concerned with dying, little lamb?”
This conversation might as well take place on a butcher’s block, you think.And you’re the cut of meat trying to convince the butcher to put you back in the freezer. 
“Of course, I wouldn’t want to die.” You stare down at the ground. He’s taken another step forward, and his shoes--no, Yuji’s shoes--are in  your line of vision. “But that is where the question of… spousal intimacy comes in, you see. With a stranger…” You shake your head, feigning distaste. “It’s simply not proper. But with my spouse, well, I would become one with them in a manner far beyond simple matrimony.” You manage a smile, feeble, but hopefully not too fake. 
There’s silence, for a moment.
And then there’s a finger on your chin and it feels like cold steel as it tilts your chin up, and you’re forced to look at him, though you keep your eyes averted. 
“Aren’t you prim and proper?” He says, low, teasing. “You know,” he says, taking your chin between two fingers, “it was always the prim and proper ones who came the most undone in the past. They were raised to be so uptight…”
He leans in closer. There’s something awful that seems to come with his closeness, a darkness and heaviness that threatens to pull you down to the ground. 
He’s going to kiss me, you think. He’s going to kiss me and then rip open my mouth and chew the flesh and--
But he doesn’t kiss you. Instead, he lets go of your chin and takes a step back.
You look at him with what must be the loudest confusion in the world on your face. He laughs, and tilts his head back. 
“If we’re to be spouses, I intend a traditional courtship first. Kissing comes later. Wouldn’t that be proper?”
There’s hardly any relief to be felt when it’s Yuji, not Sukuna, looking at you.
“Huh?”
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battleczar · 3 months
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The day that straight women stop subjecting female children, female friends, and female relatives to the presence of their male partners in the home is the day they will be able to claim that lesbians have no right to comment on feminist celibacy.
The experience of male violence begins in the crib for most women, including lesbians, and we are deeply harmed by the presence of men in the domestic sphere. I could name a dozen women on radblr who have spoken about being abused or assaulted by the male partner of a woman they lived with.
I feel like there's a massive amount of denial happening with feminist OSA women. Don't we all discuss the way men will wait until after the marriage, the mortgage, the pregnancy, to become controlling? He'll wait until you open a joint checking account, he'll wait until your three-year anniversary, he'll wait until you gain twenty pounds, he'll wait until he gets fired from his job, and there is not a single feminist on this planet who can accurately predict whether or when a man's behavior will turn abusive. There is no level of red flag awareness that can save you when men deliberately hide their true nature and tell you all the things you wanna hear. (And all of these points are discussed and acknowledged by straight/OSA women on radblr regularly.)
So when I, as a lesbian, hear feminist straight/OSA women discussing all of these points about how unpredictable men are and then immediately defending their choice to partner with and live with men, including insistence that lesbians don't have a right to take a stance here, mostly what I hear you saying is "I acknowledge the danger that men pose, I acknowledge that men deliberately hide their intentions, and I am still willing to put myself and every other woman and girl in my life in that danger in order to achieve personal gratification."
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oglegoggle · 2 years
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I legit cared about him deeply. I worked on myself so much to be a better partner to him and for him. He did not put in the same work to be better to me and for me. I fixed my fuckups in our relationship, he “forgot” about his in short order and guilt tripped me whenever I made him take accountability. He broke my $600 antique lamp. He broke my dryer. He broke six different bongs. He broke the washer too. He let his cat piss on everything and let the laundry mold in the basement. He let my $110 body pillow to keep my bones from hurting go moldy and put me on a guilt trip for the expense to replace it (the one singular thing of mine he destroyed I made him replace). He broke nice antique dishes he knew were important to me. He put a hole in a painting my friend did for me. He ran my car into the neighbor’s truck. He piled up months of old litter multiple times even after I told him to cut that shit out. He broke so many of my dishes fuck. He would not do chores on his own nor would he do them when told and the rare instances I could get him to actually do chores he would fuck them up and destroy my things in the act. We lived in absolute filth because he and his pets created so much mess it was too much for me to keep up with and he did not contribute to the cleaning literally at all.
My fuckups were getting his car stuck in the mud at the bottom of a shitty country road (which I was able to get back out after a couple hours when the mud solidified), not locking his bike to the fence and it got stolen (I gave him a new bike which he “forgot” about and continued to guilt me over for months and ultimately left in my basement (I ain’t giving it to him now lmfao)), I broke his dab rig (and bought him a new bong after), told him I hate his pets and they make my life worse (not a fuckup honestly, I was actively bleeding out of my literal eyeball from his out of control cat’s bullshit while we sat in the ER waiting room when I said this. His dog’s constant barking has given me seizures on multiple occasions. I’m justified in that one his pets are awful) and I complained about him here on Tumblr (my diary, which I’ve told him not to read if he can’t handle my unfiltered thoughts). I really put effort into fixing what I did wrong and making it right. I owned up to my mistakes. My ADHD certainly influenced these mistakes but it did not stop me from acknowledging my wrong doing, correcting them, and not doing them again.
He destroyed thousands of dollars worth of my things and guilted me over the expense of replacing exactly one of the things he ruined. Blamed his poor money management on dyscalculia. Blamed his absence of coordination on being partially deaf in one ear. Blamed his inability to remember to do anything on ADHD. Blamed his manipulative meltdowns over my hurt on BPD. Like dude…. They’re are all certainly things that influence your behavior, yes, but that does not mean that they get you off the hook for the consequences of your actions. They do not mean that you don’t have to take accountability and try to fix these mistakes, learn from them, and avoid them in the future.
What broke our relationship wasn’t even all these mistakes it was him telling me that he is incapable of doing better.
#this is goggles#I can also take the L for the moldy puke cups thing I know that’s gross af but it hasn’t been a thing at all since he moved out#like hmmmmm maybe I wouldn’t be so sick and puking all the time without a filthgremlin bf#maybe the exhaustion surrounding cleaning wouldn’t be so bad if I’m not having to clean up after an absolute dirt hole and his filthy pets#his bad habits definitely influenced mine and legit since he moved out the work I’ve put into myself is really starting to shine#I came out of our relationship a better stronger and more put together person#and while I can certainly acknowledge that his bs pushed me to this growth he was also holding me back#he does not get to enjoy the fruits of my growth in his own rot and decay#I am absolutely certain he’s gonna be like Marvel when he grows old#that fucker was 58 and living in his dad’s filthy basement in a garbage heap of his own making#complaining about the two years he was married and how much of a miserable nah his wife was before she divorced him#and threw a temper tantrum when the D&D group decided we wanted a fresh campaign with a different DM#manchild for sure#I know that Dude cites his ex-wife not being into him as he transitioned as why their marriage failed#but legit I’m absolutely certain that the filth and squalor played just as much of a part in the divorce considering what he’s told me#he couldn’t even remember to schedule couples counseling for us when I was actively wanting to save and improve our relationship#couldn’t be bothered to remember to care about me I fuckin guess
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