#Cleaning up Emet's mess

[toadeyes-miqote]

Unlimited Clutter Works!

(It split into three parts, got too wordy)

It took me this long to realise that Fangydengue is standing behind Zenos. The scene was totally asking for an Unlimited Blade Works.

Its just interesting that the weapons featured are for Gladiator /Paladin, Samurai, Lancer / Dragoon, Marauder / Warrior and the one suspicious looking Bluespirit Gunblade. Unless that is Bluespirit Blade.

(edit - The blue crystal weapons is Bluespirit series not Exarchic. My bad)

I mean sure you can beat someone to death with a scepter or a rod or globe, or a heavy enough Grimoire, but the magic based skills that come with. He can't access them. He can't tap the WoL's full skill range, only the physical side, unless maybe Samurai and Reaper but he's new to reaping at the moment. No rabid Carbuncle, no attack Fairy. Jobstones? Can he even use jobstones?

I see he can use his reaper skills but he has not touch on her Bard or Gunbreaker skills. Does he not have the ability/access to use them in such short time?

I'm reminded of the one comic(might be from Surfacage or Cor) where he poked his nose into WoL mental space only to have Ardbert or Fray slam shut the door on him. Oh wait its on Saku's twitter

My POV on that was he poked his head into a window into WoL's head space. Maybe touch enough of her aether. But Ardbert and Fray carrying Tiny Midgardsomr were inching away out of sight behind said window as Zenos looks around. They are the ones preventing easy access to her core skills. He only gets what comes with the body

*edit - More to do with his inability to effectively use aether?

Bonus points if he can't touch her Bard skills(the songs and anything needing the right emotions) for he does not understand emotions and Gunbreaker's theme to protect is a foreign heathen Hrothgar concept to him. That there be jobs that totally not suit him. Conjurer / White Mage, Dancer. Dark Knight(?).

Great Swords. Dark Knight too emotionally challenged for him? Is this why he prefer Samurai? Blade be the extension of oneself. Axes(hah ha admit it, you is a beast too) and probably lances(he's his own dragon).

No Affinity, no bows, chakrams, wands, rods, books, Globes and cards (never got into Ishgard), Nouliths(or Sharlayan) . Does it boils down to compatibly, even for him. What about Monk then? No challenging the Sabin, Prince of Punch. Afraid he'll suplex you?

On this point, he's strong and fast enough to cause a lot damage, some skills are magitek enhanced damage.

So... no dancing Zenos...

Dammed you Zenos. Don't you dare steal this song. This is not your song. This is not related to you both. Don't you dare touch my 80s music!

[weatheredfailnot]

Still thinking about this optional dialogue. Yeah, I’m sure he was aware of it.

Emet-Selch didn’t just send the WOL off to clean up after the Ascians and other Ancients, he also sent us to clean up our own mess- even if it was only indirectly our fault. Our soul from another time’s fault.

[chysgoda]

Alexandria, the 9th - 12th Calamities, and Ancient Messes

So I’ve seen a couple of comments on time travel between Alexandria and the source since Alexandria is very obviously prepared for a lightning calamity, but I don’t think it’s the one that happened in the past.

The meta structure of the world really likes repeated numbers and rhyming themes. We have the Source and thirteen reflections/shards (pick your favorite terminology) so that means we have thirteen rejoinings to get through before the world is back to its former aetheric density.

We see that number pop up again in Myths of the Realm where we have the Twelve plus the Watcher. Venat/Hydaelyn explicitly created the Twelve to maintain aetheric balance on the source with the Watcher acting as a combination Mission Control, hard drive back up, and prison warden. What would happen that would need GODS to shore up the balance? Massive amounts of specifically aspected aether crash landing on the source during a calamity.

So we have two gods for each element (plus the Watcher) and thus far one calamity for each element (plus a Bahamut).

I don’t think Alexandria was the shard that was rejoined during the second calamity. I think it’s a shard that was supposed to be the 9th - 12th rejoinings as the second calamity of lightning, and second elemental helpings for all of the remaining rejoinings.

What I think is being set up (and has been hinted at obtusely before) is that the Sundering and the Rejoinings were extremely messy and nothing really happened in as straightforward a way as any of the previous narrators of the story (the Ascians and Venat/Hydaelyn) wanted to admit. Elidibus and Emet-Selch give information that directly contradicts. (Ardbert saying that light and dark weren’t evenly distributed through the shards, presumably information obtained from Elidibus vs Emet-Selch describing the sundering as a clean and equal division) Venat/Hydaelyn doesn’t actually say anything about the nature of the Sundering itself or the makeup of the shards. We do get to see Lahabrea effectively sunder himself in Pandaemonium, and if the look of his glyph is anything to go by that was NOT a crisp clean division.

On top of that we have whatever remnant of Azem shenanigans are going on. But also the people of the source and shards aren’t dumb and do have agency. Y’shtola describes the gate to Living Memory as “neatly hemmed” , something that the Ascians or mages from the Source were never able to achieve. There’s a whole population of lalafel that looked at the encroaching ice and went NOPE and fucked off to a completely different shard. (I will cling to the mental image of one of Lahabrea’s interns going to check on things in the south seas and losing a whole ass country)

So tl;dr none of the ancients knew what they were doing and we get to clean up their messes.

[zazter-den]

i almost sent this on anon bc i’m not used to sharing this kind of filth for this fandom. then i realized you’d probably know it was me anyways 💀 so i’m being brave. 😔

hi love! still thinking about oral fixation with hythemet. sure a spitroast could be cool but

i totally see emet-selch being the type to shove a couple fingers in your mouth and press your tongue down, make you gag on them by pushing his hand in further while he’s taking you from behind. hyth just grins and watches, maybe strokes himself a bit. but they’re both entertained by how pretty and pathetic your voice sounds in tandem with the sloppy sounds of your [🫣].

sry if it’s a bit much. i’ve had a full day for this to rot lmao.

Oh no, bring on the filth! I love hearing what's plaguing your mind, esp when it comes to ffxiv! (۶•̀ᴗ•́)۶ The kudzu keeps growing in my mind lmao (Context: Part 1, Part 2) I need to replay Endwalker so I can write Hyth CW: Dubcon, Public Sex, Freeuse, Gagging

Emet knows exactly what he's doing, asking Hythlodaeus with a sneer if he'd like to join the two of you, when the lilac haired fraternity brother has a class in less than half an hour. He continues to keep a frustratingly precise pace, keeping you on the very edge for well over an hour. Deep punishing strokes, that seem to get maddingly slower the closer to cumming you get, before teasing you back up. "Is this your new pet?" Hyth can't turn down a chance to spin his friend up a little. Deciding to join their little corner by the fire, instead of hurrying across campus just yet. "Tell me, what's your name princess?" Clearly him talking to you only irks Emet further. Because the moment you open your mouth to stutter an answer in your fucked out haze- his manicured nails are pressing against the back of your tongue, pulling the loudest and possibly the most obscene noise you've ever heard from your throat. "Don't you have someplace to be?" Emet glowers.

It's the exact opposite of a deterrent to Hythlodaeus, he only strokes himself harder in front of your face as your eyes go blank with Emet's renewed attention to your oversensitive clit. the crackling of the fire couldn't hide the sound of you gagging on your new owner's fingers or the squelching noises under the table anymore. "I have just enough time for this" Hythlodaeus said with a ragged hitch in his voice, his fast fingers working his cock faster in front of your blank gaze. "Oh no you don't" Emet hisses at his friend, "I'm not cleaning up your mess." Emet slick fingertips withdrew from your lips, and dug into your cheeks. Your jaw dropping just in time for Hythlodaeus' first spurts of cum to land on your aching tongue.

[voidsentprinces]

Alright things that occur in my shitposts that have been previously shitposted about:

Azem has burnt down Amaurot several times because someone gave them access to fireworks. One time while riding a seven headed dragon.

Azem might of caused the Final Days twice before it actually happened because Emet-Selch was napping and not watching them.

Azem is a chaotic trickster god who no one can control or anticipate. Hythlodaeus encourages this and Elidibus hero worships this, much to Emet-Selch and the Convocation’s dismay.

Azem once got lost in Pandaemonium much to everything INSIDE Pandaemonium’s dismay and terror. Lahabrea is still cleaning up the mess.

After the Final Days and Azem is sent to the aetherstream, they decide to set up a DMV/Traffic Stop in the Underworld just to fuck with Emet-Selch and Hydaelyn.

Azem at some point was given power of attorney over Solus zos Galvus estate to read out his last will and testament. During which, they launch several boots at high ranking military officials as well as Varis and his Uncle. In the end, Azem revealed that the Empire went to no one and therefore a Civil War got kick started. All of this happened because Emet-Selch wanted to fuck with Varis.

Zenos has destroyed several dreadnaughts class ships enroute to Ala Mhigo since Gaius apparent death because he was bored much to Fordola’s dismay.

Tataru and Fordola have tried to stop the Warrior of Light and Zenos from going for walks. Cause shit goes down whenever they do.

In an effort to forestall Endwalker, the Warrior of Light sent Hildibrand and Nashu to meet with Zenos and Fandaniel. Hildibrand misunderstood this as he had to rescue Zenos who he thought was being held hostage by Fandaniel. But was winded cause he literally sprinted from Ul’dah to Garlemald. So has to take a nap. Nashu puts on an educational science video for Zenos while they all wait for the Inspector to wake up.

Fandaniel can’t get within 50 feet of the Warrior of Light without being hit by a metal chair in some capacity.

[pangurbanthewhite]

Honestly, I think part of the reason I was so excited to see Emet-Selch back is because, when he first started hanging around in Shadowbringers, I thought we were going to get the plot of “grumpy tsundere is dragged kicking and screaming into admitting that they actually really like the idiot heroes” or “once-terrifying villain slowly turns into the weird grumpy uncle who hangs around and cleans up the messes.”

The problem is that, 75% of the way through Shadowbringers, Emet-Selch also realizes that that’s the plot he’s found himself in, panics, and goes off the deep end.

So I’m very glad that Endwalker seems to be giving him and me a chance to pick up where we left off before that whole situation.

[yoshiepic]

Cooking Together

Pairing: Emet Selch/Warrior of Light

Rating: General

Warnings: None

Word Count: 405

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"You know you always have the absolute worst timing."

Helix was in the middle of rushing back and forth between the boiling pot on the stove and the cupboard full of spices he forgot to set out beforehand.

Of course, Emet Selch, Ascian, and royal pain in the ass chose that time to make an appearance.

"I think I have impeccable timing personally."

Helix glared at the intruder, who was leaning against the kitchen counter, enjoying a piece of bread.

"Hey! That is not for you!" Helix scolds, throwing an oven mitt at the man.

The oven mitt goes flying, landing harmlessly on the floor several feet away from the ascian.

"For a Bard, you really have terrible aim."

Growling and flicking his tail in annoyance, Helix stomped back over to the pot, just in time to prevent its contents from boiling over.

"If you're so determined to harass me with your presence, then at least make yourself useful and grab the garlic powder from the top shelf."

With a quick snap, the jar of powder appears on the counter beside the Miqo'te, startling him slightly.

"...fucking acsians." He mumbles.

Helix spends the next several minutes adding the remaining spices to the pot and constantly shooing away a persistent Emet determined to steal more food.

"Here." Helix says, shoving a bowl filled with stew towards Emet. "Since you seem to be starving, despite not even needing to eat, you get to be the test dummy."

"Am I not allowed the luxuries of food simply because I don't require it to live?"

"Do you want me to take the food back then?"

"Must you twist my words so?" Emet says before testing a spoonful of the stew, making sure to overdramatize every movement. "Mm. Could be spicier."

Helix's ears flatten in annoyance, his tail swishing behind him as he crosses his arms.

"It's not supposed to be spicy. I can just take the bowl back if you're dissatisfied with my cooking."

"Nuh uh. I'll just complain through every bite, thank you very much."

With an annoyed sigh, the Miqo'te walked towards the counter littered with various leftover ingredients and dirty utensils.

"Let me guess, you're not gonna be bothered to help with cleaning up are you?"

"Not in the slightest."

"Figures." Helix mutters, turning back towards the mess, hoping Emet didn't catch the ever so slight smile that broke past the Miqo'tes attempt at being annoyed.

[7marichan714]

Day 12. Roommates Ever since they shared room together, Argos quickly befriended Orionne. The little Gymnodiae also followed Venat everywhere. After a long day of work and countless meetings of the Convocation, Orionne could finally rest. Her body felt heavy, eyelids semiclosed, and sore back from seating for too long. Even Emet-Selch had to give her a nudge to wake her a couple of times. Her sleep schedule was messed up due to her current research. As soon as she entered the room, Argos ran in her direction, tackling Azem down. Venat couldn't help but laugh at the moment, seeing her apprentice and lover on the ground, warmly welcomed by dog licks on her face. -Someone missed you so much. -Venat pointed out. -Indeed. -Orionne petted Argos lovingly. - I'm home, my friend. -I already boiled some tea, would you like a cup? -The white haired woman was putting the last book back on the shelf. -Oh yes, I'll grab some biscuits then. Orionne cleaned her robes and mask once she stood up. Both Azems, mentor and apprentice, shared a kiss, ready to have some time together. -Were your questions answered? -Venat was intrigued. -Some.

[hythlodaeus-mynewoldfriend]

For swap chat qotd

Siberite had an older brother named Palladium who she almost was convinced never existed had Khutula not been there to confirm he was someone that lived and was her brother. Palladium was almost 20 years older than Sib and had plans on bringing Sib with him to Old Sharlayan for 9 months out of the year not only for her education but to thrive like he was never able to living with their parents. He wanted better for her, but sadly never got the chance as he was fulfilling their mother's requirements (getting some field research finished in the Steppe) when he was conscripted into the Garlean Army where he was first sent to teach Hein but then frontlines after he stood up to one of the guards for someone else and it was shown that he was not partaking in teaching their propaganda, he would die a few years after. However Sib's father lied about what happened and in his grief and guilt wanted no one to speak of him and anytime Sib (who was 6 at the time) asked she was told she just made him up and never existed. Had Palladium's partner Khutula not been there she would have forgotten him. The two of them had a very great relationship, she adored him so much, and would look forward to the days he visited and he cared for her so so much, he truly wanted nothing more than to be the best older brother for her (even before Hydaelyn spoke to him). He's watched over her from the aetherial sea and hitched a ride ghost style to ultima thule where she would see him and he would help her once more.

Deimos and Emet while technically cousins consider each other brothers as they grew up really close to one another. Emet is the one that really understands Deimos more than anyone else even though he finds him annoying at times but hey that's how little brothers are sometimes. Emet looked out for him fiercely once he skipped grades and was in his classes where many times the other kids would speak about him behind his back or teachers were ready to dismiss Deimos because he just couldn't sit still and had a blase attitude about everything. This continued well into their adult years because Emet just knew how he was despite the outward personality, this wasn't to say Emet wasn't a bit harsh at times (he most certainly was) be he did so because he cared and knew the potential he had. Deimos is also just as fierce in looking out for Emet because of his personality, to an extent where even before truly in the Azem position Deimos stood in front of the convocation and burned a list of other potential Emet-Selch candidates so Hades had a fair shot (it wasn't the only list like he thought and if he looked Hades was listed 3rd). However the two had a little bit of a falling out before the Elpis events in EW wherein Emet found out about the stunt and went no contact for awhile because he was just done cleaning up messes and frankly at that point in time Deimos should have known better, which Deimos did need to grow up a bit but it still hurt him like no other to lose his brother. They did make up and had a better relationship until the final days. But yeah they're both loyal, protective, and want the best for the other.

[blissfulalchemist]

🌹 🌹 🌹 xx

Okay stella you get some of your girl Stasia! This is all I have for the piece so you get more than you asked for.

“You all are not leaving quite yet,” Stasia calls out, face paler and dark circles under her eyes, pushing along a hooded figure, “Not while I still have a gift for you.”

Thancred narrows his eyes, “Is that-?”

“I want to die and take the whole world with me in a paroxysm of pain and suffering!” Fandaniel declares, everyone taking a step back.

“And you will get to have your wish,” Stasia baby’s, gripping onto his chin, “In fact, Zodiark’s prison is right inside the engine of that ship,” the figure smiles, eyes blank. “So be a good boy and clean up the mess you’ve made,” she growls, shoving him towards the lopporits. She looks back at the Scions arms crossed, “What? Is it so surprising I’m being generous?”

“Soooo,” Siberite says slowly, “that’s not the real Fandaniel?”

“Gods no! You needed aether for your engine.”

“Was it necessary to have it resembling-.”

“Would you prefer Emet-Selch? Because I contemplated making it into him.”

“No, no. Fandaniel is fine.”

[toadeyes-miqote]

Duty complete

There will be no song, no claiming of trophies, no glorious tales of battle to tell by the campfire’s light for G’raha, Sadu and her Bard Boys.

He will never be her rival, there is nothing glorious in this fight.

She remained calm as he taunted and postured before her. For one who styles himself a hunter, he was no different from the rogue trophy hunters she stopped in Tailfeathers. No one had the right to turn her into something she is not.

T'kebbe and her late parents’ quest for the elite marks sprang to mind as she avoided his strikes to wear him down. Already she was going through the manoeuvres learned in life for such a situation. he was no different from a rabid beast who had developed a taste for man’s blood.

Ignoring the pain as she returned strike for strike, thoughts of Thancred and his girls sprang to mind. What the young ones had achieved in The Empty. There was so much to look forward to. The pride on his face whenever he read their letters. Thancred can lecture her on her foolhardiness all he wants later.

A certain calmness in knowing that Alisaie will not have to pick up the fight where she left off is good enough for her. Her good kiddo will have a full life of great potential before her.

She thought of her mate and that wherever he might be, Zenos will not be a threat anymore and the rest was easy. It was no different from the one hunt in which she was separated from her Huntsmates and was cornered by a maddened beast that she had to take down.

It would be most heartening to introduce her mate to her brothers and sisters-in-arms and let them feast upon the simple pleasures of forest Miqo’te hospitality.

But for this hunt, there will be no song, no claiming of trophies, no glorious tales of battle to tell by the campfire’s light. Only the duty of a hunter taking down a rabid beast and keeping the forest safe for all. For her it was only a duty to complete, to survive, to go home, to complete …..

-----

The feeling of being back in Camp Dragonhead swept over her. Crackling fire within the warm stone walls of Haurchefant’s office even as a blizzard assaults the fortress from outside, the feeling of his ever watchful eyes on her.

Vaguely she thought she heard his excited sing-song voice calling her name before a twinge of panic took over his voice, pleading her to wake. There were others with him.. familiar to her …. Pleading with someone?...

"...My green huntress.....then live for.... instead... .. The one you seek, isn't here..." she heard Haurchefant whispered in her ear. Why does he sound like he was crying?

“....If indeed you deem her the soul of your late friend reincarnated.... then help her…. Please.... She has done so much and yet ask for so little.” Was he just behind her?

“Oh come now. Surely you did not tease her with all those locations only to let her to shuffle off in this mortal coil? It would be an irresponsible way to hand your duties over to her. Your descendent was responsible for the state she’s in now.”

An annoyed hiss coming from a little distance away was what she vaguely heard, a clear authoritative snap of the fingers followed...

-----

…Vaguely she caught Thancred’s scent and a sense of controlled calm in his voice.

“..Nyan…cred?...” her voice slurred.

“..keep talking….. voice draws…. back…” There was a twinge of panic in G’raha’s scent before a sense of control that took over when he uses his exarch’s voice. Was he summoning her again?

“You can’t leave us….” Why was Alisaie crying?

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One run! Right hook of Ishgard!! Or is that the Miqo'te uppercut!!. The lady herself as bard. I’m satisfied that I don’t have to gunbreak for this like I did Venat. I don’t have to rewrite! Monk was lvl 50 so yeah. Thank you Sabin Prince of Punch.

I get the general feeling that my Miqo’te has no idea what the hells he’s getting on about. Her values are just different and all he presented was essentially a threat to the ones that surround her.

Satisfy him once and more he would demand. He’s already making threats and doing whatever he doing to make Krile divulge WoL’s location. If Krile dosen’t divulge, who else would he harm to get information? Tataru? What odds that he realise that killing those close to her would allow her to fight him in her full fury?

How many people will die in a futile attempt to to stop him from storming the Mother Crystal. How many are strong enough to take him on and still more or less survive?

That whole hunter-prey thing got turned around in this. He’s naught but a rabid beast that had develop a taste for her blood. It bookends things for me due to the background I gave her.

Oh and cleaning up Emet’s mess, the lady understands this as being a ranger/warden (Added bonus that being Gridanian starter sits well enough for her). Meteor and Ardbert are the fighters, this shard is a hunter who understands balance and a need to cull. 

I can’t even compare him to Gouki who can fight other people when he’s not fighting Ryu. Iori Yagami maybe?

I made my Miqo’te shadowbox him in gpose…. It looks like an uppercut to the nut, since she’s only waist height to him. Not giving him the satisfaction of screenshotting it. Unlike Snake vs Ocelot, didn't get to press buttons.

Had something for the Aetherial sea. but didn't work out so retained fragments. Also didn't get comatose carry ala Shadowbringer breakdown so meh it.

The whole thing was one side with Haurchefant cradling her exhuasted soul and the others surrounding her in the Aetherial sea(don't ask). Pleading with Hades to help her somehow. On the life side Thancred was carrying her off somewhere for G'raha to do the healing, with Estinien lugging Y'sthola and Urianger like luggage to whereever it was they were to do the healing. The quartet are stupidly close to her, it could be a physical fighters kind of thing.

I like the artworks that some folks done but I accept things as is for mine own. she ended up sleeping for a spell when back on old Sharlayan. The return unfortunately wasn't as gloriously as folks hope it to be. She was barely awake and riding piggy back on Thancred(Thancred mount!), G'raha was keeping one hand on her to ease her pain. Not sure why not princess carry though.

And the quartet took turns to watch over her so that she won't wake alone. Thancred would likely be sitting by her bed since he has no duties to report that Alphinaud and the others can't handle. Estinien would be quietly sitting by the door barring entry from unnecessary visitors(anyone not a Scion or a healer unless Thancred says otherwise). G'raha won't leave her side, constantly pumping aether for healing and easing her pain. Alisaie would be staying until Alphinaud has to drag her home and she made the three guys swear not to let her wake alone.

"Lecture me all you want. Papa."

Its likely the tone of his voice being at a very comforting frequency to her Miqo'te ears. that and he's probably the only veteran Scion who acknowledge her as a person and a hero at the same time.

Possibly treating her in the way he hopes Ryne be treated. Having close friends and stuff. Estinien comes close. Alisaie would need a few more life experience. G'raha needs to know her as a person and not the hero he read from the books, else she keeps him at arm's length.

[finalfantasyxivwritings]

Endwalker spoilers! I’m crowdsourcing for the fandom braincell because I don’t have it. Emet-Selch’s “I certainly did”; is he saying he certainly considered it your duty as Azem to see those places? Is he saying that he certainly saw those places, like, here you go Hero, I left some more messes for you, I know how you love playing clean up?

We as the wol are like a tiger pacing in their enclosure, and Emet-Selch is the zookeeper who has taken upon himself to stuff a multitude of pumpkins with raw hamburger to make sure we are thoroughly Enriched™

Sometimes the pumpkins are actually countries and the hamburger is made up of shenanigans, but it makes for good enrichment nonetheless

[emetkoto]

thinking about emet-selch cleaning up so good after his first night with k'oto that the poor catboy is legit like '????? was that just some weird ass dream??' the next day bc he remembers being bitten and having fingernails digging into his hips and the sheets being a mess but theres no trace of it so hes like 'well. gotta be. whatever' and just tries to go on with his day till he meets up with emet outside the ocular before the morning meeting and hes like 'teehee youre welcome btw :) hope youll call me again soon :)' and he has to spend the rest of the day thinking about how That Was Very Real And Oh God He Wants To Do It Again???? aka im very normal and i love them. i think the old man can troll his boyfriend a little as a treat

[voidsentprinces]

...FFXIV 1.0 - Endwalker is basically just us cleaning up all of Emet-Selch’s and Hermes’ messes come to think of it. Even the in between stuff leads back to either of their actions. With the only exceptions being Pandaemonium which is all on Lahabrea and Athena, and the Omega Raid which was just the Omnicron fucking up the universe before Meteion arrive but she...definitely did not help matters.

[whatamidoingwithmylifeman]

MK OC Scorpion's Revenge jokes

I don't know if I've posted them before, but fuck it I'll do it again. Here ya go @cyo-bro

Hanzo: Satoshi. Harumi!  What is this!? Where am I?

Melantha: Hi sir, welcome to Netherrealm's BBQ. You'll be on the menu for tonight. As for "Satoshi" and "Harumi" I couldn't pick them from the grocery store, seeing as I'm not allowed to take groceries from the Gods. Any questions?

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Demon torturer: Ah. Fresh meat. *licks blade*

Melantha: Hey! What has dad said about licking the cooking utensils?

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Hanzo: *trying to break free*

Nozomi: Hey buddy! Twist to the left and then pull.

Demon Torturer: It's no use. You are a prisoner here

Nozomi: Shut up! I wanted to see him try!

------

Hanzo: For how long?

Demon Torturer: *laughs* Forever

Hanzo: How long is that?

Nozomi: Oh you know. About a few weeks. Maybe a holiday. A couple weekends- How long do you think?

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Demon Torturer: Your voice will soon join the others, rising up to please the great Shinnok.

Charu: Honestly I don't understand how my husband can stand it.

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Hanzo: Shinnok?

Demon Torturer: The master of Netherrealm. There. The only place of reprieve in this realm. Look on it and weep

Charu: I'm about to cry myself. I told him to clean up the damn place while I was gone.

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Demon Torturer: We can do this for all eternity

Melantha: Actually dinner's at six. So you might wanna wrap this up, it's almost five! Come on man you know how long humans take to cook!

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Demon Torturer: Is that a prayer? *laughs* No. No God can help you here.

Melantha: Well actually got three Goddesses right here, however I have to prep for tonight's dinner, so- Hey mom where are you going?

Charu: *from a distance* I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR FATHER'S ASS FOR THAT GOD AWFUL MESS HE LEFT!

Melantha: OK! *Leaves*

Nozomi: Well. That leaves me, but I don't want to help.

Hanzo: I need no God

Nozomi: Oh thank the gods!

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Hanzo: Shinnok!

Quan Chi: No. Shinnok is indisposed.

Hanzo: Then go fetch him for me.

Quan Chi: If only I could.

Charu: *popping in* Where's my husband? I would like to have a word with him.

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Quan Chi: You may be a vengeful spirit. But even they have their limits.

Nozomi: So do you dad. You're not special.

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Quan Chi: Long ago my master Shinnok was unjustly imprisoned. This is the key to his release. It's located on Shang Tsung's island. Get me the key. Once my master is released, he can return your family, even you to the mortal realm

Charu: I will personally give you fertile soil to grow whatever food you need up there, if you contact me as soon as you get to that key.

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Raiden: That key won't solve your problems

Charu: *pops in* It'll solve mine though!

Raiden: It will, however, create new ones.

Charu: Yeah like the damn place not getting cleaned. Let me through Raiden!

------

Shang Tsung: You see Quan Chi, the trick is to always be ten steps ahead of your enemy. *Dumps drink* You think I didn't know you'd betray your own Emperor, Quan Chi?

Nozomi: *looking at the spilled contents* Dad, you idiot! I told you before, it's cyanide and THEN emetic poison. Not the other way around!

------

Scorpion: Then come take it from me, like you did my family.

Quan chi: Very well then. But please, put up more of a fight then your wife did.

Nozomi: *groans* that insult again? Oh jeez. Here let me do the insulting. *Turns to Scorpion and clears her throat* You know Hanzo, the only reason why your wife didn't put up much of a fight was because the thought of another night with you was already killing her. I mean, can you blame the poor woman? I'm surprised she didn't kill herself. I would if I had to be with someone like you! Poor Harumi had to spend every night married to a little bitch who wasn't packing much downstairs. Like buddy, are you sure those were real orgasms? Cause trust me I can tell you right now, they were definitely fake. I would know.

Quan Chi: You what?

Nozomi: I mean shit at this point, I'd do a better job at pleasing her than you did, you toasted, crusty faced, little bitch! *Turns to her dad* And that's you roast somebody!

Quan chi: I have several questions for you young lady!

Nozomi: Oh gee would you look that. I got another meeting. Well bye! *Disappears*

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[biracialalistair]

idk if anyone here is even reading it lsdkjflkfj but ramble about Hell is Empty and how specific it is to paliea because i was thinking about it while washing dishes (spoilers up to 5.3? but nothing past that)

like ok so i’m obviously so thrilled that people really like the story and my weaving of it but i cannot stress how it is so specific to paliea sldfjklsdkfj like. 

the entire premise of Hell is Empty hinges on one of paliea’s primary and personal character flaws, which is her selfishness and lack of perseverance. officially this is a canon divergence AU, but the divergence in canon is if paliea had even the tiniest bit less character development before reaching this point in SHB. 

the tempest and the events leading up to it are the single BIGGEST trial of character that she goes through in MSQ. this is the singular moment where she is most tested - to see if all of her experiences and tribulations and loves have taught her anything, if they have turned her into a new person; or if she will fall back onto that self-serving and flighty little girl that left moraby bay. the culmination of everything she has seen and done and learned.

in canon, obviously, she passes this test and finishes her development arc. the entire idea behind Hell is Empty is that she fails. 

one of my good friends from film school called this a “mistake story” when i described it to him and i still think that is the most accurate descriptor of it. both emet-selch and paliea make a dire mistake in a mutual error of judgement, and the entire story is cleaning up the mess of the aftermath. 

so uh all that to say thank you for reading if you’ve been following along on this journey, and if you’re less familiar with paliea here’s a peek behind the curtain at what kind of psyche is driving her and where her motivations are