#Coriscant guard

[the-pixel-lover-extravagant]

Just imagine Captain Fordo, after the battle of Coriscant is assigned to the guard as stated in 2003 canon and the chancellor even bragged to him what an honor it is to have this position only; to figure out the guard and it’s commanders are basically mall cops with authority, encountering his first genuine tweaker. At first he’s taken aback by the belligerent nonsense, then he gets swung at so he tazed the fucker. This just irritates them because their on space bath salts and that only tickled them so he and Grizzor are running for their lives from this phyco smashing windows with their head and the only way they got away was by jumping on a dumpster droid until Fox showed up and coaxed them into the back of an laat by answering their riddle. Mentally Fordo is filling out transfer papers back to the front lines.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

We need to see more big street celebrations In Star Wars like Carnivál, Mardi-gras, the Chinese New Years festival, Portugals AgitÁgueda, the Yi Peng lantern festival, The Jaisalmer Desert Festival, the Holi festival of color, Day of the Dead, the tomato throwing festival La Tomatina from Spain, the Songkran Water Festival, pride parades. Stuff like that. Something that we often see in Star Wars is a lack of cultural tradition and celebration. I mean for good reason since the empire stripped people of god damn everything because there fascists. But imagine a street celebration on Coriscant that spanned even to the lower levels, lighting up even the darkest corners. Naboo having beautiful artwork displayed on its streets accompanied by flowers and water installations, Alderon lighting colored lanterns and having massive fun water balloon/tomatoe fights. Pantora having huge beautiful parades that last for weeks and theirs lights everywhere and fireworks every night. The people of Tatooine taking to the streets will face paint and traditional clothing celebrating their ancestors, while Tuscan raiders celebrate with traditional music, dances and stories passed down for generations. Think of the possibility’s.

[vgilantee]

hello everyone, meet my children! *gestures at my clone oc's as cadets*

cadet bench: *nods, trying to act cool, but the way he smiles as he side-eyes hi batchmates shows he's just a kid, youngest of the triplet, trying to prove himself. not that suds or otto think he need to prove himself*

cadet suds: *throws up a peace sign, ironic, considering what he was made for, but suds has always been the most positive of the three, always laughing. gregor once patted him on the back - before gregor was assigned to the 212th - after the young suds made an admittedly terrible joke. suds bragged about it often, the approval from an older clone*

cadet otto: *gives an enthusiastic wave. the oldest of the three, by mere seconds. otto was always the most sociable of the three*

now watch as i give them some trauma!

suds: *gets jettisoned into space after barely escaping the explosion of the ship. the last thing he hears is plo koon's voice crackling over the coms. he isn't sure if he imagined it or not, but it gave him peace as he died*

bench: otto, you don't have to do this *shakes while staring down the blaster at his brother, who is crying as he mutters to himself "good soldiers follow orders". neither is sure what is happening, but the day bench shot at general kenobi despite being a medic, he knew something was wrong*

otto: *after shooting bench at point blank range, and after darth vader orders the execution of fox, otto is promoted to commander of the coriscant guard. he is the final clone on the guard, surrounded no longer by brothers, but by storm troopers who hate him for being a clone*

aren't they just the neatest!!

[transformezzzzzz]

Alright, looks like I’m back on a transformers binge so fluffy, nobody is dead au where oopsie doodle magic science shit happens and all the clones get to teleported to the transformers universe and get to hang out on Griffin Rock.

( for y’all that don’t know what the hell im taking about griffin rock is the town these 4 transformers are assuming to protect after they come out of stasis to find that their planet can no longer sustain life after their 4 million year war and their mission is to serve and protect the humans and learn from them now that their calling earth their new home and they live with a family of rescue workers, the show is called transformers rescue bots and it’s a really cute light fluffy show filled with adventure I think you all would like it, you can pirate it just about anywhere)

Reasons they should go there:

Ghosts

Dinosaur island

Mad scientists

The blob

Dream gremlins

Hella robots

Conspiracy theorist news reporter

A cross eyed lion

Expired bunker meat that turns people into Bigfoot

Realistic family and friend interactions

Mayor with a fake toupee

Teleportation via bugs

Weather machines

Time travel

Constant volcanic eruptions

A cat named Mr. pettypaws

Optimus Prime gets hunted for sport as a dinosaur

Meteorites

Twin shoplifting criminal masterminds

The main antagonist is from like, the 1920’s and is quite fruity and wears a monocle and he ends up walking into the sunset with Jules Verne

Local man who gets around via helicopter jet pack

Constant natural disasters

Robo babies

Bread Santa clause

Local grouchy old lady who believes in fairies

Spelunking

Multiple dooms day devices

Island of misfit tech

The liberty bells Lind lost cousin

The Bermuda Triangle

Space worm vampires

Sports car James Bond

Pirates

Virtual reality

FLYING LOBSTERS

Mark Hamill

Crazy uncle you only ever see once a year

Jungle tower

Helicopter that’s afraid of heights

Bulldozer that likes to pain with mashed up peas

Police car that would jail you for not using the cross walk

Fire truck with anger issues

SHRINK RAY

SERBO THE ROBO DOG

So Mr.Burns is the police chief and the father of the Burns family and he is a lot like plo Kloon and I really think y’all would love this show

but I think this would be a really great place for the clones to be safe in and relax, have some shenanigans. HELLA SHENANIGANS. But the 501st, the 212th, the 104th and the Coriscant guard are definitely in this, fuck it the alpha arcs are there too.

But I really want waxer and boil to interact with mr. petty paws the cat, and for whatever reason unbeknownst to the locals Ms.Neaderlander loves the two boys. Waxer: *picking up the cat and petting him* Boil: huh, that’s a funny looking loth cat.

Or the one kids nickname is Cody and I want a scene she his dad, Chief burns is trying to find him and yells “CODY” and commander cody who was near by just turns on his heels and is like “yes chief burns?” And the chief is like no not you, my son, thank you tho. And Cody’s like :( what am I chopped liver and chief just sighs.

Bolder trying to teach the clones how to pain and Dogma loves it. Dogma would also love Chase and not at all because they would talk about da rules, no no, I think they have that somewhat in common but Dogma would more find comfort in the fact that Chase isn’t very spontaneous, he’s calculated, trustworthy and likes to do things step by step and I think Dogma would vibe with that.

When Danny cooks everyone crys except Sinker because he will eat anything, I think he would also eat the expired bunker spam on purpose.

Oddball and the other pilots help Blades be less afraid of flying and teaching him different maneuvers.

The 501st getting lost in the tunnel system and accidentally end up walking all the way over to dinosaur island and get to see cool crystals and almost get eaten by the dinosaurs. Hardcase when he finds out the crystals are highly flammable: *explosion thoughts intensity*

Heatwave and Wolffe would get into a snark off contest.

I fell Alpha-17 might enjoy the trails that run through Griffin Rocks wilderness. He would maybe make friends with the local black bear population on accident because he didn’t know what they were and that they were not friendly and he walked into one on a hike and he was like🧍damn that’s a big ass dog, a funny looking fellow really, ay buddy do you want this cliff bar? And the bear is like 🧍wtf is this guy doing, should I eat him? But eventually 17 and the bear are buddies and he brings the bear back and is like “hey chief check out the dog I found “ and chief is like “how many times do I have to tell everyone no dogs-👁👄👁”

Wooley,soup, and toast would be fascinated with the bakery

They all participate in the Burn family tradition of game night weather they like it or not

Kix, Fives, Hardcase, Jesse, Hevy, Boost, Gree, Oddball, Gregor, Neyo, Thorn and Barcara would participate in helping test doc Greens weird little machines

Every Friday is disco and karaoke night at one of the local bars and they all go out and party. They also like going to the roller skating rink where they can also jam to 2011 type pop.

Rex, Monnk and Ponds enjoy chief Burns company and like going fishing with him and going out on the boat.

Pls I could go on and on but please feel free to add onto this, Griffin Rock is already so god damn weird so the sky is the limit go crazy

I know this is very much a crack au but It makes me so sad when the clones suffer and they deserve to be happy damn it, I apologize to my many followers who have no idea what the hell im talking about.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

@i-just-think-that-clones So to answer your questions on my last post, basically yes and yes. So in this au everything in the she-ra universe happened and this would be set way after Adora. Etheria and the surrounding planets are located Deep in the unknown region. Rex finds the sword in the ground in some crazy forest while on an outer rim planet that’s near the veil of the unknown region. He’s on a recon mission when him and the squad he’s with gets ambushed and he’s separated from the group. He stumbles upon the sword and gets this overwhelming compulsion to touch it like Adora did. Of course he does and is immediately bombarded with visions and falls unconscious and wakes up with the sword in his hand.

My take on the sword in this au is it’s blade is retractable so Rex can easily conceal it and tote it with him. He’s trying to make sense of it all when he’s attacked by droids again and soon after transforms into she-ra. After he’s demolished every droid in a mile radius he turns back to himself and now he’s really freaked out and panics a little bit but ultimately decides to stick to the mission and find his squad. After a long ass time of wandering around in what feels like an endless forest he starts to feel like he’s walking in circles even though he’s been tracking his position using the sun and locating equipment and what not. He stumbles upon a strange looking crashed ship and he goes in to see if he can use the radio or anything to boost his locators signal, but instead he finds this matrix crystal holocron type computer drive with an old old version of the Light Hope AI on it. Light Hope explains a little bit about what the she-ra is, and figuring the AI seems to have all the answers to his problem he takes the matrix with him. He eventually finds his squad and their on their way. In a few days the battle on that planet is over and they ship out back to Coriscant.

While he’s there he goes to the Jedi temple archives to do some research on this Etheria place but there isn’t squat on anything like it. Which brings him back to Light Hope who seems have all the answers he needs but like in she-ra she’s hiding things from him. Because this is a very old version of light hope it is still her prime directive to train the she-ra and activate the heart of Etheria which is important for later. Really all Light Hope does is insist he train as she-ra and protect Etheria like a broken record and Rex’s doesn’t really like the sound of that so he just kinda puts light hope on a shelf in his office. So for many months Rex goes about his life in denial and only uses the sword in secret. There were a few times during battle where Rex found himself in a no win situation where he needed she-ra or him and his brothers would die. Of course this is how the 501st found out and Rex swore them all to secrecy.

Figuring how he’s kinda secretly being she-ra now he might as well learn how to at least swing the sword right because the last few times he was she-ra he was a little awkward at it to say the least. He started sitting in on Ashoka’s training lessons when he could and got Anakin to teach him a bit on how to use a lightsaber thinking he could apply the same lessons to use the sword because he has no idea how to swing a sword around the right way but he quickly learns that lightsabers and broadswords are very different. Unfortunately for him he does in fact know someone who trains she-ra’s specifically. So in secret he trains as she-ra with the guidance of Light Hope in one of the training rooms while he has one of the 501st boys guarding the door for him.

After a few months more which would be set after Umbara Rex comes out of his denial stage and he just can’t take not knowing anymore. Why does she-ra exist? What is the sword really? Where is this Etheria? Why does he need to protect it? What is Greyskull? Who was Adora? Why did her ship crash and what was she running from? Why was the sword just abandoned in the forest like that? Who were first ones? What does any of this mean? Obviously Rex don’t know anything about anything, so it was easy for Light Hope to get him to walk through a portal she made with the promise of understanding everything he wanted to know without actually telling him where their going. Essentially light Hope kidnaps Rex to Etheria. She takes him to this old outpost on one of Etherias larger moons that functions as an archive.

It’s important that you know that this au it’s set like 3,000 years after Adora and Etheria is a very different place. So the first ones who were Eternians that were colonizing the planet for resources came back to Etheria once it came of of dispondos and hoard prime was defeated. Eternia hadn’t forgotten Etheria or what it was. They still wanted their planet killing weapon. It took many many years over many generations but Eternia took back Etheria. Like Hordak did with Scorpia Eternia took the descendants of rune stone wielders and raised them to be loyal to Eternia, which guaranteed their cooperation. The only missing piece was she-ra. Which leads us back to why and how Adora came to be half way across the galaxy and got passed a massive veil of black holes and crash landed on some nowhere planet. When the situation with Eternia wasn’t looking good and they had full control of the planet Adora and company tried to destroy the sword but failed. Her friends wanted to find another way but Adora didn’t think there was any way that wasn’t playing right into their hands so she fleas with the sword. Her plan was to basically rogue one herself like Mara did and dive into one of the black holes and get destroyed and be lost forever but something went wrong. See, Adora needed an navigation system to get her all the way across the galaxy, so she used the ancient Light Hope system she found and retro fitted to fly the ship. she got spit out the other side and crashed. Long story short that’s the deal with Adora.

Which brings us back to Rex. So Rex is digging through the archives and find out the ugly truths to why, how and what she-ra is and what happened to the last owner of the sword. So Rex was like uhh, hey can we leave now and she’s like oh no, I used the vast majority of my energy storage just to get us here, it’s going to take months, possibly even a year to get us back. Of course Rex did not appreciate that at all. And Light Hopes not bad really, it’s just she’s a very old program whose deteriorated then been rewired then deteriorated some more. She’s forgetful and has a lot of bugs and glitches which make her seem strange. She repeats a lot of stuff like a broken record because it’s what’s left of her base coding, she seems like she’s hiding things because there are gaps in her memories and it causes her to freeze up. She struggles between new and old coding which often puts her at odds with herself and it’s like she’s two different AI’s sometimes. Mixed with random coding deterioration glitches she can be… unpredictable. Ultimately she’s loyal to the she-ra, she’s just old and forgetful and it can be very unhelpful sometimes. Like now, because she’s stranded both of them on this ancient outpost half way across the galaxy in a sector that can for an unknown amount of time. Just great right? That’s about as far as I’ve gotten brainstorming wise.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Fox gives me a ‘manager that works at an understaffed Hot Topic in a busy mall’ type of vibe.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Thorn: “There is something very special about being on patrol at 3-4am. Like, am I up ridiculously late? Am I up ridiculously early? The world may never know.”

Hound: “Right? It’s like: *sees another guard on patrol* and what the fuck are you doing up?”

Fox: “Me walking around at 3:30am: tee hee what goblin mischief could I be up to? The world will never know.”

Fox: “Me seeing another guard on patrol: DEMON! DEMON!”

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Stone: “The hardcore way to eat ramen: 1. Boil water 2. Eat block of ramen 3. Drink boiled water 4. Snort flavored powder 5. Get bitches.”

Thire: “Wait I have a gif for that.”

Fox: “How tf do you have a gif for that?”

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Imagine if the senate had its own Vermin Supreme that ran for Chancellor multiple times. Imagine the amount of respect they would give the clones, they would be the guards favorite senator. BUT ALSO THE CHAOS. Bail and Padme shake it up in the senate as it is, now imagine a guy with a boot on his head demands a pony for every citizen of Coriscant.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Y’all out here thinking that beating the chancellor with a chair, then coming at him with a sword and throwing him out the window would be the pinnacle of Fox’s wrath, wait until he discovers witchcraft. He and Thorn would be mixing up bad luck spells to throw at criminals and civilians that disrespect the guard. Someone get this boy a spell book so he can put curses on every senator that even looked at him wrong!

[clonememesfrikyeah]

So I think a good part of the Star Wars fandom can all agree that before he retired to train cadets and was injured by grievous Alpha 17 fought with the 212th and 510st right? And Fordo is usually written as either still fighting or also retired to train cadets. Ok, ok hear me out, what if we put Fordo in the Coriscant guard? I feel like a fic with this element would be good, especially in the fics where the guard isn’t doing so good. I think after a while of Fordo going zero contact for no reason once entering the guard would be enough for 17 to be like ayo something’s up, and investigate. Much angst ensues. I think y’all out there that write the fics are picking up what I’m putting down. I just think it would be nice, a little food for thought.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

God, imagine if Coriscant had Gotham type villains. Like Coriscant is chaos and drama as is but what if some random dude went off and tried to blow up the senate like, every Thursday in a ‘how to build a better mouse trap’ like fashion while wearing a bright green and purple pantsuit and juggling grenades in a stolen convertible just for shits and giggles. And theirs multiple of them and this sort of thing happens every day thrice a day. Think of how stressed the guard would be. Fox can be Batman and Quinlin Vos can be like cat woman or some shit idk make something up.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Thorn: “I go to Home Depot,”

Fox: “….?”

Thorn: “I eat the tools.”

Fox: “Stop it.”

Thorn: “Crumch.”

[clonememesfrikyeah]

I’m convinced that if Hardcase saw any GAR clone being mean to a Corri guard it’s on SIGHT. He’ll kick their ass for bullying another Vod and then yell at them until they cry and apologize and promise to never do it again and make them give the guard their extra rations for the next month.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

I like to think after Fives died Rex wasn’t mad at Fox. Rex has been in that position before several times, where he’s shot at and killed brothers under the manipulation of a superior officer. Rex would be making himself a hypocrite if he put the blame all on Fox, and Rex still couldn’t forgive himself for Waxer and all the other 212th boys that got killed that day.

Rex understands that Fives was being perceived as a threat and was acting erratic, he had also threatened the chancellor, which is something that couldn’t be taken lightly. Rex knows no clone would shoot another brother without good reason, and without knowing Fives like Rex did, Fox had a good reason.

I think Rex would try to reach out to Fox for answers, but Fox has already had so many bad experiences with clones that aren’t from the guard and he was scared that Rex was mad at him. Sure Rex is mad, mad that he lost one of his oldest friends, mad at this war, mad at the kaminoans, mad at the system, but he’s not mad at Fox.

Other battalions didn’t like the guard, cursed them for putting them in the drunk tank, mocking them for being paper pushers, told them they had it easy. But Rex has been stationed on Coriscant for long periods of time before, and has seen the abuse the guard takes. He understands what it’s like to be under an abusive superior officer, if only for a short time, he can’t imagine what that abuse is like on a constant basis. And he doesn’t mind picking up his boys from the drunk tank once in a while, they probably deserved it for being little shits.

I personally love this fic where Rex gets stationed with the guard temporarily after Kavado and experienced first hand the abuse the guard faces. I cant find it again but I know it was written by someone on tumblr a couple months ago. As a headcanon, I think Rex would easily integrate into the guard. In the past Rex was known for being uptight and by the book. After Krell I think he would have the mental preservation skills to be able to diffuse arguments, handle degradation, and withstand the physical abuse senators throw the guards way. (I personally also like the headcanon that Rex is naturally blonde because would have gotten bullied a lot for being defective and it would add to his capacity to understand where the guard is coming from on terms of being shunned by brothers and withstanding abuse)

Rex and Fox parallel each other. Rex starts the war as a perfectionist, uptight, by the book, ready to preform any duty a commanding officer orders him to. Rex fights out in the field, watching his brothers get massacred daily, but he tells himself it’s for an honorable cause and their sacrifice won’t be in vein. But is then presented with the option to desert, he doesn’t because he has to protect his brothers on the battlefield, but now he questions if it’s worth it anymore. Rex has brothers in his battalion he cares deeply for, but looses them one by one and is eventually left all alone. During Umbara he didn’t whatever he could to keep his brothers safe, even if it meant he take on their punishments for them. After Umbara Rex got a lot of blame from troopers in the battalion, and he worked harder to try and make it up to them, but he would never overcome his guilt. I think from this Rex would develop a lack of trust in commanding officers, loose the ability to make new friends, he pushes people away and has a touch of separation anxiety.

Where Fox goes in to the guard graduation at the top of his class, he’s ridged and uptight, wanting to fulfill his duty to the republic. But then he quickly looses faith in his cause when the abuse starts. He watches his men get killed needlessly every day. He has his own group of friends he cares deeply for, but one by one they fall. Fox becomes a cynic who works overtime to fulfill his duty’s and keep his brothers safe. As a commander it’s his duty to keep his men safe and he tries his hardest, but he can’t save everyone. The guard understands this though and harbors minimal blame on him, but Fox however places all the blame on himself, and will never be able to forgive himself for his failure. As the war worsens so do his brothers temperaments, and all of his batch mates push him away, writing him off as a paper pusher, as stuck up, as a no show because he was always too busy. Fox holds a distrust for anyone who isn’t in the guard, he has anxiety about making ends meet for the guard and once his friend group is gone he too is isolated and alone.

Fox and Rex are more alike than we give them credit for and I think we should be building on their relationship more. Pls let them be friends, im begging you universe.

[clonememesfrikyeah]

Guys I just woke up from the strangest dream. For whatever reason the Coriscant guard and the 501st were working together to liberate this planet that was being used for experiments because the planet had magical properties to it.

When the republic won and this swamp witch type lady was so grateful she wanted to do something nice for their leaders so she put this spell on commander Fox and captain Rex that sent them to like this Alice in wonderland, mother goose fairy tale type realm.

And when Fox and Rex woke up in this realm they were very confused, but then it turn into the classic “help the local villagers who tell you to defeat the evil ruler of the land and then find the good fairy who can send you back to where you came from trope”.

But I woke up very confused and thought that this story was canon because I remember dreaming about seeing memes about it on tumblr and seeing the comic book cover, I’m having a stroke .