#D.Larry

[howlingday]

Blake: Your majesty, it is time...

Ruby: Hm? What do you mean, Blake?

Blake: I believe this is the ideal moment for you to carry out the prior king's dying wish. Before Ozpin died, he said in his will that he wanted you to continue the silver-eyed lineage, and to always be happy. He believed you could accomplish both in the pursuit of love and choosing a consort.

Ruby: I REFUSE. Remnant is still divided, even after the death of the Brothers and Salem. Everyone is still bickering with each other, and they're all creeps who only see me for my eyes.

Blake: But... It's been ten years since the war ended. The kingdoms are uniting, slowly but surely! I am sure there is someone who-

Ruby: I SAID NO.

Blake: (Thinking) 10 years since the war ended... and ten before that was when the war started! I still remember when I fought by her side, and she killed General Ironwood, exposed Headmaster Lionheart, and took her rightful place as the Ruler of Silver Eyes. When I first met her, she was such an innocent girl, but now she's fearsome monster...

Blake: I'm... I'm sorry, your majesty. Please, (Hands over sack) take this and forgive me...

Ruby: What's this?

Blake: It was something new I found in my travels. Please accept this as my apology. The creator called it... "cookies".

Ruby: (Bites into one)

Ruby: ...BLAKE. WHO MADE THIS?

Blake: A... baker made it. He served in the war-

Ruby: BRING HIM TO ME. NOW.

--------------------------------------------------

Jaune: (On his hands and knees) Your majesty, forgive me! I promise to never make food that displeases you ever again!

Ruby: Are you single?

Jaune: Er... Y-Yes...?

Ruby: Good. Then from now on, you will be my spouse. Also, from now on, you will be granted the title of "LORD OF GREAT COOKIES".

Jaune: WHAT?!

[howlingday]

Mama Arc: (Gasps)

One day, while my mom was cleaning my room, she found my... "special" books.

Mama Arc: I read all of your books, but I still don't understand why these mothers would decide to cheat on their husbands with their son's best friends~!

Mama Arc: Is this what you want from me~?

Jaune: Mom, for the last time, I can clean my own room! What books I read in there are none of your business!

Mama Arc: (Gasps) And now you're talking back to me?! Maybe it's not other moms that caught your eye?! I can't believe I've failed as a mother and raised such a pervert! I'm so glad your father isn't here to see this!

Jaune: Dad died a long time ago, Mom. You were stuck raising eight kids on your own. I thought if I came back home, I could help make your life easier.

Mama Arc: (Turns away) But I can't just abandon my vows to your father! And I'm your mother, for goodness sake!

Jaune: I'M TALKING ABOUT HELPING OUT AROUND THE HOUSE! AND I ALREADY HAVE A GIRLFRIEND! GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE GUTTER! Ugh! If I knew those books would mess with you this bad, I would've gotten rid of them years ago!

Ruby: Heyo~! You still got those books I let you borrow, Jaune~?

Mama Arc: Oh, Ruby~! (Hugs her) Please, help me with my degenerate son~!

Ruby: Huh? Is he bothering you again? He's such a bad son for making his own mom worry like this!

Ruby: (Sinister grin) A widow is such an easy target~. YOUR MOTHER WILL BE MINE~!.