#DO YALL KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS FOR ME TO NOT HAVE STAN CALL KYLE BABY?!?

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

Hmmm yall know what’s Deeply Unfortunate for both involved parties in a pairing?

When something Bad happens to one of them, and the other is already in too bad of shape themselves to take care of them like they want to. So they’re having to watch someone else do what should be THEIR job and desperately wanting to hold them but they Physically Cannot >:)

Yep it’s today’s chapter of ITTG, And If I Ever Get It Right

[magentapint]

crenny brainrot

idk i normally dont post my thoughts here on tumblr but since im becoming active again i want to ramble on about my favorite crenny headcanons.

mostly because i have the agenda of embedding it to the crenny nation collective consciousness. i am a woman in a mission.

Disclaimer: these are literally headcanons with either 0 or the bare minimum canonical basis. its all for good fun pls don’t attack me for rambling about south park characters on main.

1. Kenny is an English gay, Craig is a Science gay || alt title: my craig is bad at english agenda.

I don’t need to explain myself but I’m GOING to explain myself. In the series Kenny is normally the point person whenever the boys don’t know the meaning of a certain term. That’s on rich vocabulary baybee! Ok but ALSO Kenny’s is legit good at English (e.g. When he wrote the boys a letter from Hawaii, His entire Princess Kenny cold open, his Mysterion dialogues)

And now Craig, sweet precious illiterate Craig. 

need i say more? 

Craig as a science gay just makes a lot of sense to me, bc duh...space...and stuff. Leave it to Craig to calculate the rate of xyz when abc, but if you ask him to write 1 (one) single essay he will slap you. 

I love contrasting my Crenny bc that’s their primary appeal for me! I’m on that stem student x liberal arts student agenda.

2. Kenny loves his town! (Craig is on the Fence) 

It’s a really common crenny trope for them to hate the fuck out of South Park, which leads to countless runaway fics (which I ADORE, keep making them.) But you know when I thought about it, Kenny’s definitely the type to love South Park (and its inhabitants) from the Bottom of his heart.

Dude he literally took on the role of Mysterion to protect the town from the shadows (he’s been doing it for Months???), He sacrificed himself in the South park movie just to bring back things to normal. This man. Loves. His. town. 

I think Kenny’s the type to be all “Come with me, I’ll show you my secret spot.” Then have like 17 secret spots around the town. He definitely knows stuff like the quickest route to school or the best spot for stargazing. All that. 

Now Craig. I could see why he’d hate the town TBH. And that offers a nice counterbalance to Kenny (a comic is forming in my mind as we speak.)

I want Kenny to teach Craig how to love the town (kenny voice “you’re just not experiencing the town the right way!”) and I want Craig to call out Kenny (craig voice “maybe you’re just romanticizing the idea of the town because you’re scared of letting go of the last bits of your childhood”) AHAHAHAHA. Idk Man, it would be a nice dynamic to study.

lmao i just realized that most of my headcanons are just contrasting crenny. IDC!

3. manlet kenny and taaaaall craig

yall KNOW ive been on that short Crenny agenda since day 1!

(behold my first rendered crenny art ever)

DAY ONE! 初日！Unang araw palang!

BUT! but! BUT! this goes deeper. because of course im going to ramble on about this. 

*clears throat*

Craig tries to occupy as little space as possible, Kenny tries to occupy the biggest space possible.

BAM! Visual and Thematic Interest! 

I can imagine it now, Craig keeping his limbs as close to himself. Kenny stretching out his arms trying to “take more sunlight and air!” 

I like the idea of Kenny being small but no one really thinks he’s small because he carries himself like a large person. Sometimes he’d just stand up and Craig would see the top of his head and go “oh wow i forgot that you were a foot shorter than me for a split second.”

Fun stuff.

4. Mole placements because I’m a graphic design student and this is the type of shit that appeals to me.

As yall know I draw Craig with a mole under his eye and Kenny with a mole under his lip. Want to know why? Visual interest BAYBEE. Have i told you that I’m a graphic design STUDENT. 

I like it because it leads your eyes from Craig’s face to Kenny’s face or vice versa. It adds a sense of movement to any of my crenny pieces. 

Also I noticed how most crenny fics focus on how striking Craig’s eyes are and I think it’s just fitting to add a lil mole to accent it. 

As for kenny, I’m on that...........kenny kissable lips agenda.......I hc his mole to be less noticeable but MAN once you notice, it’s all you see. I can just imagine Craig going fucking crazy once he realize that there’s a mole under Kenny’s lips.

5. Craig and Kenny are innately perceptive || alt title: Crenny Bluetooth Couple

This is kinna one of my tenet headcanons. Like my entire crenny characterization hinges on this one headcanon. 

Okay get ready its DISSERTATION time. 

5A: The angst of it all

Craig and Kenny are both very perceptive. They notice. The different lies in the way they act on what they had notice.

Kenny’s an empath so he tries the best to subtly help the people around him when noone else can. Stan having a bad day? Kenny would stay with him. Kyle’s pissed off more than usual? Kenny would crack jokes he knows Kyle would laugh at. etc.etc.

Craig is very pragmatic. If it doesn’t affect him, he won’t bother. But with Kenny he just can’t help but be so concerned. 

He notices it when somethings off with Kenny. He’d notice when Kenny’s disoriented (after dying and not knowing how reality warped or sum). He’d notice when Kenny’s tired (after working overtime at city wok). He’d notice how Kenny would look at his friends lunches.

What pisses Craig the most is how Kenny just, smiles through it all. Craig’s so frustrated with how Kenny’s own friends are too caught up with their shit that they can’t notice telltale signs. 

And so he finds himself gravitating towards Kenny. Inviting Kenny to join his Wide-angle lens show after he got rejected for looking too poor. Offering to be his partner during school trips. 

5B: craigs cold hard exterior = kennys happy go lucky attitude

Craig and Kenny don’t express their true emotions. 

But the difference is: Craig doesn’t show his because he doesn’t feel  the need to. Kenny doesn’t show his because he has to. 

BAM! Interest!

Kenny has to be strong. To not worry his siblings or friends. So he just pushes through and hides it all with his hedonistic facade. 

Craig’s just.....idk he just doesn’t want 2 show his emotions for funsies idk what’s up with him. 

I like how on the surface they seem like polar opposites but fundamentally they are the same. (bc theyre soulmates)

5C: Reading craig

Kenny’s one of the few people who mastered the language of Craiganese. Alongside Ruby, Clyde, and Token. 

Kenny’s skill was innate tho and it pisses off Clyde so much.

Clyde learned how to read Craig after years of being his closest friend. It took a lot of trial and error, but he’s proud that he can understand Craig’s mood and all that.

But then comes Kenny who can read Craig immediately! What the heck! Unfair!

5D: Bluetooth couple

which leads me to the point. 

It’s funny.

It’s just funny I can imagine Crenny having entire conversations just by looking at each other.

okay thats all.

[jewpacabruhs]

bruv im still jus. wow. theres so much to say but. do u kno how good it feels... to be jewish, to accidentally fixate on one eric cartman & love him more than any other fictional character for almost seven years now, and then to see him in a little yarmulke, standing at kyle's side while he recites from the torah? do you know how validating that is?

i gotta get personal for a second here. idk how, but in the last few yrs my relationship with my own jewishness has been deeply influenced and intertwined with south park, as ironic and ridiculous as that sounds. i grew up secular, completely nonpracticing; as a child, i was only ethnically jewish, and saw jews as strictly an ethnicity, and a popularly hated one to boot. and it scared me. ive talked about it before, but as a child hearing about the shoah and about antisemitism, i couldn't understand. i thought it was looks for a while, which confused me, because ive got blonde hair and blue eyes and all my family that got caught up in nazi europe did/do too. i remember thinking as a second grader that i would've been spared for that reason; why didn't a good chunk of my family? but i grew up in a mormon neighborhood, with plenty of other blonde kids, and they stayed away from me like i had a disease. this was before puberty, before my hair got a little frizzier and my nose got a little bigger, when i looked just like any of them. but already, at age 8, i was an outsider. i wasn't one of them and i never would be, and they wanted me to know that.

and then i started to get it. it clicked even more once i got to high school and got called a kike every other day - but prior to high school, you know what i found, and you know what really pushed me towards understanding what being a secular jew in america meant? south park. and as a dumb little sixth grader with no critical thinking skills, you know what shaped my opinions on my own people? south park.

and that's good and bad. good because i do sincerely think kyle broflovski is excellent fictional representation for jewish people, maybe one of the top few ever shown on television. he gets on my nerves at times, but he's good through and through, he's well written and multi-dimensional, he's not a walking stereotype but he still has prominent jewish features that jewish viewers can look at and see in themselves, his morals and viewpoints and beliefs are obviously deeply influenced by judaism, hes deeply proud of his heritage and culture... and that all means a lot to me. and by the amount of jewish sp fans that adore kyle, it means a lot to them too.

the bad thing is, yeah, i can't deny it, during older seasons, cartman's treatment of kyle probably taught a lot of young and dumb viewers how to view jews in real life. have i, as a kyman shipper and cartman stan, justified that within a fictional and narrative context? yes. but it doesn't change the real-world effect; south park, but specifically cartman, since he's the mouthpiece, likely did cause some easily-influenced people to pick up antisemitic beliefs. did this contribute to the rise of the alt-right? debatable, but to some extent, possibly. was that m&t's intention and should south park be canceled and denounced? fuck no, i'll always love it lol, and fuck censorship. but it is something that should be taken into account.

matt and trey clearly regret that, and understand that it's no longer acceptable or fitting or needed in today's sociopolitical climate - or, okay, maybe they don't even regret it; they just understand that when fiction becomes reality, the fictional jackass isn't necessary when there's one right there in real life, sitting in the oval office, yeah? old cartman doesn't deserve or need a voice, not when real, awful people actually have one right now. and m&t are actively trying to change cartman for the better and really, really backpedal on his bigotry, while still doing it in a way that makes sense from a story-telling perspective. it's not a complete uncharacteristic change of character; it's shifting with the times and writing it into the character's arc so that it's a logical and plausible development in cartman's story.

cartman's behavior in the last few seasons is consistent character development. m&t themselves are pushing it, and clearly it's sincere; cartman's not faking. unless they're building up a surprise twist over the last, what, three to four seasons, that he was faking the whole time! woah! if so it better be a damn good pay off, because that's a lot of time invested. though that seems more forward-thinking than sp tends to be. they're intentionally stuck in the short-term, aren't they? plot-wise. but their character development is pretty long-term, and right now, cartman is consistently decent, and if it comes across as faking, it's because cartman's over-dramatic in how he speaks, and trey does that intentionally.

that's a tonal thing, and it's hard to say in a fictional character, but as someone who struggles with empathy myself, empathy and sincerity don't go hand in hand. you can lack empathy while still caring enough to sincerely and wholeheartedly apologize for something and mean that apology. not feeling remorse doesn't mean you can't apologize genuinely; the two don't go hand in hand. you can be mentally ill in any capacity, even a psychopath, and still deeply care about things or people, just not in the way someone else might. so you can headcanon that cartman's still a psycho/sociopath, though right now that's actually kinda going against canon, but don't rain on other's parades if they're happy he's exhibiting healthy growth. besides, and i repeat: what could cartman exploit out of faking sincerity for several seasons? nothing, so why bother? he wouldn't, unless it's literal in-show subconscious growth.

does that mean he's magically developed empathy? no. is it becoming less probable he's a legitimate sociopath/psychopath (while still possibly having better-disguised antisocial tendencies)? yes. does he seem to have better coping or anger management skills? somehow, yes! he seems to be legitimately healthier. does this mean he's no longer accountable for his past misdeeds, and even his present, less-severe ones? of course not! and you can still hate him all you want, but modern cartman is not the same as older cartman, and shouldn't be treated as such. because is this growth? absolutely.

he's clearly healthier, even happier. he's less angry, he's still a little shit but he no longer relies on bigotry or cruelty or anger to get the negative attention he thrives off, rather he gravitates towards being simply annoying. you know why he called ice? pettiness, immaturity, a little bit of spite, and a need for silly revenge. he's being intentionally petty, but going about it in a sly but no longer psychopathic way. less hannibal lector and more, idk, regina george, lol. extremely different on the antagonist scale. and cartman's been both.

and maybe it's personal bias on what type of human is worse within fiction, someone unstable and bizarre with violent tendencies (which is how he's come to be viewed in pop culture & some of the fandom, as a result of eps like scott tenorman must die), versus someone inclined towards pettiness and more silent and, i dunno, social-status-and-pride-driven types of revenge (cartman in general when he's not being particularly awful, tbh)... but i think it'd be pretty universally agreed that the latter is at the very least more tolerable, manageable, and even likeable - and certainly more redeemable. let's put it this way; if cartman continued on the path he was on, he'd be one of those tiki holding fucks, wearing a confederate flag hat, and he'd treat kyle soooo much worse. instead, m&t have turned him into a hypocritical false-woke ignorant dumbass - but that's strongly less problematique than it's counterpart, and it works.

because cartman simply serves a different narrative purpose now. and that's not sloppy writing; it's well-timed evolution of a character that stepped into a pre-9/11, pre-trump, pre-social media world! so much has changed, and south park is reflecting that in its characters, most notably in a character who was stuck in the, what, 1960s with his beliefs? that was fine way back when, but matt&trey are smart dudes - they understand that sometimes things have to change. besides, they love cartman, too. he's their favorite. but they understand that when real people act like him, it's not so comedic or satirical or funny, & they don't want to look at cartman, at their creation who they've invested twenty-two years in, and see the all-too-real hate of modern radical white america.

i think we know enough about matt&trey's social stances these days, and the empathy they've seemed to develop after having kids, to understand that they're no longer in their "apathy is best, everyone is stupid" phase. current south park is left-leaning and admittedly preachy at times, but i wouldn't want it any other way. g-d knows it's better this way than if they'd embraced and decided to appeal to their right-libertarian following instead. cartman's evolved in a progressive and positive way, and it's fucking dope, especially to us cartman stans who so badly want him to be good. and he is good right! he's doing so good!

and i know im up my own ass rn but yall know how much i myself have campaigned for jewish kyman/cartman and how much i just deeply and truly adore it, and to see it actualized in a canon episode to some extent? that meant the world to me. i couldn't believe my eyes. i was tellin lai - that's the most genuine, pure, almost violent happiness ive felt in my soul in years. that was like a straight shot of serotonin to the heart. that simple little scene made me so fucken happy yall dont even know. & theres a lot to be said about the political commentary and plenty of other people are analyzing that, but im a simple jewish kyman & cartman stan and boy ive been fed good fjskfkdkdkfk!!!

[1moreoffkeyanthem]

TODAY ON Me Never Shutting TF Up About OrangeJuiceVerse:

Let’s talk abt the Disaster Duo.

Aka Kenny McCormick and Stan Marsh. These two… smh they really are each other’s enablers (as Ky pointed out here) in all things. Naturally, I have headcanons that haven’t seen the light of day yet.

Aight so if u know the ojverse, you know that our sweet leading man Stanley Marsh absolutely thinks of Kenny as his Blood Brother In Desperation (someone get this man (me) away from FOB’s discography) and the platonic stenny bond is SO real. They’re always down to do stupid shit together and are 100% the reason Kyle has high blood pressure.

Kenny, on more than one occasion, has done some shit like gone up to Stan like “hey dude you wanna climb the water tower” and Stan didn’t even question it he was just “sure why not” when I say Marj and Kyle were sooo pissed bc Kenny fell off the ladder and knocked Stan off too on the way down lmfao these two idiots were in so much trouble for hurting themselves in a completely avoidable way.

Oh my GOD they set shit on fire all the time out here trying to start a grill because they’ve dubbed themselves the “grillmasters” and then suddenly Stan has no arm hairs. BOTH of them have threatened to drink lighter fluid at minor inconveniences.

As referenced here, Kenny, as a true weirdo artist boy (I’m projecting) once mixed acetone and resin INDOORS (he and Stan were drunk and not thinking) and the fumes were so strong that Stan deadass passed out and it was soooo stupid Kyle was so mad at them. With bigger projects throughout their ENTIRE lives if Ken is like building a big ass sculpture or sum he’s going to Stan and like Cartman will go out to the backyard of the Survivor House to see them dangling from the roof to get the top parts on and just sends a pic in the groupchat to get them in trouble smh

Oh my god I’ve mentioned that Stan had a parkour phase in middle school (referenced here) and who was with him trying to do backflips and vault over walls? Kenneth. This one time they were like “dude we should expand our gymnastics skills” “oh yeah for sure” and they started trying to do that two person cartwheel thing and they THOUGHT they got it down and went to show Kyle but they completely busted their asses like landing in a tangle of limbs and shit (Kenny died) bruh Kyle was SO fuckin mad like “THE FUCK ARE YALL DOIN THAT IN THE STREET FOR” and Stan was all “uhhh cuz it’s a flat stretch of ground? Duh” dumbasses

Canonically in the OrangeJuiceVerse these two are both school mascots (Stan only for the season Kenny played basketball, Kenny through the entirety of hs) and have stupid signature moves that they do in the “stank ass cow suit”. Like Kenny literally gets shot out of a cannon to kickoff football games and Stan does flips that are seriously not safe with the low visibility in a mascot head they actually have no sense of self preservation until someone gets hurt. Ohhh my god one time at a football game Stan was benched for whatever reason and he was BORED so he’s bothering Marj and Kenny and the other cheerleaders and he was full on “wait Ken stand on my shoulders and find Ky in the crowd” so they’re walking around the track like that (stunt buddies at their peak) and no one is watching the game they’re just distracted by whatever tf these two have going on and then the coach notices and is like “goddamnit MARSH! Get on the field!” Smh mans got unbenched for his own safety how ironic

As kids? No one went harder playing superheroes than these two. Cartman may have been the one leaning too hard into the “marketing” side of things (“fatass you can’t call yourself that! It’s a fucking slur!”) but Stan and Kenny were out here terrorizing construction sites bc there was so much cool shit to climb

Even as adults the shenanigans don’t stop dude Stan and Kyle drove over to the city to see Ken and Marj and Ky woke up in the middle of the night and Stan wasn’t there he went to get Marj “dude wake up the guys are gone” guess where the Disaster Duo was? Trying to get into a closed water park by digging under the fence. Yes they were in Trouble.

And when they’re older and Stan’s sober so you’d think he’d be slightly less inclined to do dumb shit? NOPE! He and Kenny are going WAY too hard at paintball and Stan falls off the top of an obstacle bc he was in “sniping mode” and “it’s like irl Fortnite!”

On their own? These two are fairly tame with some exceptions. Together? Someone needs an emergency room.