#DOUBLE EDIT: realized that it was NOt the hospital name that was the problem but something ELSE i did not know was a slur

[genderheaven]

part 2:

I am extremely sorry for how I acted and the vile shit I said. it was reprehensible, and to say the least, I think I'll always be disgusted by how I acted.

but also, I'm not sure how to say this. the mogai community has a problem with people who Do A Bad Thing and believing absolutely anything and saying whatever they want about that person. and unfortunately, I absolutely didn't help that. this kind of rumor mongering wasn't ever my Intention with stuff like the NCB, but it's unfortunately taken me a long time to realize that intention and behind the scenes attempts to be fair don't matter if the outside interpretation at large is something else. I think this community always had the potential to do this stuff to X Bad Person Of The Week, but things like my NCB just exacerbated it.

specifically, I'm talking about the fact that someone I used to consider a friend, Tumblr user @neopronouns, posted a completely anonymous ask about me/the headmate in this system who i split from, Ez. this anonymous ask says that I told someone to kill themselves over the ncb.

and dexter himself later admits that he has never been shown screenshots of proof.

https://archive.ph/1wpeh

https://archive.ph/aUmkw

Dexter, I used to respect you very much. your blog has over 2000 followers, which is double the amount I ever had.

shape /up/.

this community is not a safe space to be in if people like us in the 900+ follower count space can literally just publish and therefore endorse anything someone completely anonymously tells them. (not to mention it is VERY easy to convincingly Photoshop screenshots!!!)

I can definitely understand being sad and scared when I acted the way I did, but there is also a complete lack of critical thinking being displayed here that lends to this entire community being unsafe. anyone can just say anything. this isn't the first time anons claiming I did X have been sent around, btw. remember those anons about me being antisemitic that never came back with evidence? remember when X other mogai blogger got accused of being Y and there was a whole callout post that got tons of notes - fill in that blank yourself, I'm sure someone came to mind.

I'm aware I'm not really in any position to be believed because I did shitty things and therefore that means I MUST have done every other bad rbinf, but basically: I would REALLY like to implore to you all, no matter how much you hate me in particular, to get PROOF before publishing things like this. about anyone. this could happen to you. this could be your blog tomorrow. I've dealt with suicidal thoughts for literally about… 5 years straight, with gaps of a few months in between but never completely losing the thoughts entirely. and I have survived multiple suicide attempts, and been hospitalized four times in the past two years for suicidal thoughts. I find telling someone to kill themselves absolutely abhorrent. I didn't do this. I would never tell someone to kill themselves. I don't think my little Google doc on a website is worth losing one's life over, it's ABSOLUTELY not that serious.

telling someone to kill themselves could very easily be the trigger that encourages a suicidal person to actually take action to end their own life. telling someone to kill themself is potentially actually killing them. I did not think "(name I don't use anymore and don't want to be called) tried to kill someone" was a real thing that would occur in the mogai community, but apparently it is! this community will genuinely hear this information and publish it to an audience of over 2000 people with no further thought. it seems that no Dexter has added this edit below, but in my opinion, it is a shallow excuse for this action. as I work on things in therapy [to prevent me from ever treating people the way I did again,] I'm finding myself literally kept up at night by the fact Dexter thought publishing this ask was EVER okay. there is no sign of looking for proof in the original published ask. there is nothing to indicate he did not believe it wasn't factual, and if you take a look at the replies on the post, someone raises a genuine concern about this, and he responds with essentially "well but kris did a bad."

(don't worry, this is the last time I'm gonna be screenshotting anybody's anything. I've lost respect for Dexter or anyone who reblogged this post that to the extent I don't want to see any of these blogs and once got very anxious after seeing a reply from one on a random post a mutual reblogged. so, I'm popping on to queue this and then once again changing the password of these accounts to something else new and not saving it. im out of here, it's a shitshow.)

thank you, I'm sorry for what I actually did, & goodbye. take care of yourselves. if you or a loved one experience suicidal thoughts, contact local or online resources like chat lines or telephone numbers. and if you're presented with a screenshot, look into a concept called EXIF data. https://gadgetstouse.com/blog/2021/01/09/6-ways-to-tell-if-an-image-has-been-edited-or-photoshopped/#4_check_exif_and_geolocation_data

kris

[everyhowlmarksthedead]

❛ YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE ❜

✨ REQUEST: hermanikiiiiiii i wanted to request you the prompt number 1 with coco cruz!!thank you, love you muchisisimoooooo💕💕

✨ PROMPTS: “Wait, you love me? Like Garfield loves Lasagna?”

✨ MADE BY: Juls.

Gif credit: to my lovely @supervalcsi.

WORDS: about 2k.

❚❙ A/N: this writing hasn’t been edited, you may find some grammar mistakes, I’m sorry about that. If you find a description about body or a word out of place or something that makes you feel uncomfortable / unrepresented, let me know by a private message and I will change it delighted ❤

❚❙ JOHNNY ‘COCO’ CRUZ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ MASTERLIST.

❚❙ JOIN MY TAG LIST.

When you heard that Coco had been shot, your heart suddenly stopped. It was four days ago in some kind of dog's fight, as Chuckie told you at the scrapyard. Bishop needed someone to take care of him while they were investigating what happened, so you offered yourself without doubting it.

Much to your regret, you are only two good friends, even if you feel more things that you can't explain, about which you haven't talked with anyone. And thanks to your work in the hospital, you managed a room only for him, so he could rest as much as he wanted, as much as he needed. But your back hurts like hell after being sleeping on the sofa, close to the bed, just to make sure that you were able to attend to all his necessities for minimal they were.

These days there, you have learned a lot about him, about his curiosities, about his fears; spending his time awake talking with you to keep his mind entertained, to not think about the pain in his lower abdomen. Your mates took the bullet in a jiffy, but, normally, the sorrow remains for a couple of weeks. Luckily, he only complained when the hour of the next turn of medicines was close.

You have tried to not think about your feelings the time you were in the hospital, but it was impossible. All you wanted to do was to lie by his side on the bed, embrace him between your arms and kiss him, having to conform yourself with holding his hand and resting your cheek on the mattress. Your eyes have never left his eyes, not even when he was sleeping, on alert in case of an unforeseen because of pain, or an infection, or God who knows. You were really paranoid.

“You ready?”

Coco glared at you, slightly tilting his head. You had asked the same question five times in the last two minutes. Offering him a hand to secure himself, the mexican put down from the hospital bed, ready to leave and go home. Angel and Gilly had cleaned his house, even if you insisted to Bishop that you could do it. But he asked you back to stay with him till the next morning, so he wouldn't stay the night alone until they came back from the other side of the border.

Two knocks in the opened door brought you back to reality from your own thoughts, in the meantime that you helped Coco to wear his leather kutte. Directing your tired eyes to the entrance of the room, you found three Vicki's girls, happily waving their hands. Raising an eyebrow confused and your lips pressed, they came in without asking.

“Papi, we've missed you”. The latin and playful tone of voice from Mariela, as she swung her hips to your friend, gave you shivers.

In just one sight, your presence was pushed to the background. These girls hadn't even called to ask about his state of health and, now, they were there as if they did all the work you did —delighted, of course. Trying to keep calm, you put Coco's clothes into his bag, zipping it when everything is ready.

“No te preocupes, we take care of him now”. Carolina sentenced with contempt and superiority, grabbing his stuff ready to abandon the hospital.

“Yeah, mami. Go home and rest”. His words hurt. More than a bullet.

Preferring their company besides yours let you know that he hadn't taken in count what you did. And yes, you did it because you wanted, but you also thought that maybe could mean a step ahead. But it wasn't. Not saying a word, doing anything but a simple nod with your chin, you grabbed your bag to step out from there. Ashamed. Feeling stupid.

Two weeks have passed and Coco has come back to the clubhouse. This time you have been doing extra shifts to compensate for your lost days taking care of him, almost walking like a zombie from home to work, and from work to home. So, when Bishop invites you to a party in his honor, you decline it. You are too tired physically to assist and tired mentally for foolishness. What is the point of going to a party to see Coco having fun with those bitches? You have had enough after two weeks without receiving a single text to thank you or to know how you are. He hasn't even cared about the fact that you haven't shown up in the club for two weeks. That's the little he thinks in your friendship.

Zapping from one channel to another, you try to find something to watch. A movie, a tv show, whatever that helps to distract your mind, while you enjoy thai noodles with beef. Finally finding an action movie, you cover yourself with a cozy blanket, grabbing the cardboard box to start your dinner. The ringtone of your phone interrupts your calm, with Coco's name on the screen. At first, you don't want to answer, but he continues insisting for more than three long minutes. Hanging up and calling again. With a furious growl installed in your throat, you leave over the table your dinner to grab your phone.

“The fuck means you aren' comen'?”

He doesn't even let you say hi or how are you.

“It means that I'm tired and I have to work at five”.

“I don' think one damn beer reverses your sleeping schedule, Yo' Grace”.

“Fuck you, Jonathan. I've been working double shifts to cover the hours I was taking care of you in th—”.

“Nobody asked you to do it”.

Eyes widened and your heart racing. You can't believe he just said that.

“Yeah, nobody did. But your hermanos preferred to be on the other side of the border. Your putas preferred to be partying and sucking dicks in Vicki's. And your mamá sent me pal' carajo when I called to tell her what happened. I did it because I was your friend. Because I cared about you. Because seeing you there with… all those tubes was killing me. That shit continues giving me nightmares every fucking night. But you shit on that. You kicked me as soon as your putas came to the hospital”. You don't know when you have started to cry, more than because of the rage than because of the sadness. “I'm sorry if I'm too tired to drink a fucking beer, but my job is more important than a person who doesn't give a shit about me, who hasn't called or text me in two weeks, who only wants my company when no one else is around. Have fun in your damn party and fuck all those whores to thank them for picking you up from the hospital, but didn't care about how you were after being shot”.

Hanging up, you toss the phone somewhere on the table, wrapping your body with the blanket and lying down on the sofa. Trying to contain the tears, the only thing you earn is to cry bitterness. You can't understand why he only has noticed your absence at the party. What has changed? Probably it was his egocentrism working, wanting to be surrounded by a lot of people, not caring if they're his friends or not. But you're done being his lapdog.

About to fall asleep, the angry hits in the main door make you suddenly wake up agitated.

“Open up!”

The rage is consuming you again after hearing the strong mexican accent, taking three long strides towards it to receive him with your reddened crystal eyes.

“What the fuck 'you want now? Haven't you had enough beating myself up?”

“You're fuckin' dramatic”. He spits in your face, stopping with a foot the slam to his about to close the door again. “I didn't talk to you because you were working, bu' you didn't talk to me either”.

“Yeah, because you were served with your bitches. Go fuck yourself, Jonathan”.

“Don' call me like that again”. Coco grunts taking a step into your house. “You had to work, they came to cover your back”.

“Oh, please, don't make me laugh. They just wanted to have the credits of taking care of you, so you will expend more money with them. That's the only thing they care about you. Wake up from your world of fantasy, Coco. If you weren't part of the MC, you wouldn't be a shit for them; just another fucking soldier with a broken home”. You can't help but push his chest with both hands, driven by anger.

At first, he doesn't say anything. He looks thoughtful, being aware of the truth in your words. And it hurts that you have to be the one to open his eyes. The problem is that you weren't thinking while talking, pulling your gaze away from him and pressing your trembling lips, one against the other.

“I'm sorry”. You babble, cleaning your tears with the back of your left hand. “I didn't mea—”.

“But you said so”. Coco interrupts you with a husky tone of voice, bristling every inch of skin of your anatomy. “That's wha' I am without my kutte. An ex-soldier, a criminal, an outlaw. I spend my money on them because they take care of me, one way or another”.

“I did it too”.

“So, what? What you want? Money? Tell me an amount”.

Squinting at him, you can't help but chuckle with a painful and bitter laugh.

“I did it because I love you, not because I want your money”. You confess, knowing there's no going back. “I don't care about your money, nor your job, nor about your kutte. I love you because you make me happy. After all, for me, there's nothing better than a hug of yours, because you… you are simply amazing. You're intelligent, funny, loyal. And I wish that you could see yourself through my eyes, Coco”.

He, not saying anything, is killing you slowly. Barely breathing, you cross your arms over your chest to hide the fact that your lungs aren't receiving any air.

“I thought that after being shot, you realized you only live once. And that… after being those… boring days with me, you realized that you preferred the company of these other girls. The funny part of being alive. So I just pulled myself away”. Taking a small pause, you bow down your head, cleaning your tears again. “These weeks have been torture. I've written you a lot of texts that I haven't sent… and I've been a lot of times about to call you. But 'you know that… feeling when you think... the other person is not gonna answer you, because maybe is too busy for you? That shit has been destroying me”.

Hoping that Coco finally is going to speak, he remains silent. Looking at you openmouthed, processing all the information you have just give him.

“Can you, ple—please, say something?” You beg almost shaking.

“Wait, you… love me? Like… Garfield loves lasagna?”

Raising your eyes, pouting at him, you know that he's trying to make you laugh after understanding all the pain you have been through. Lonely. Without talking about it with anyone.

“I'm sorry, mami… I just… fuck”.

Cupping your cheeks onto his hands, Coco slams his lips on yours, tasting the salty tears you have shed because of him. The sloppy kisses bring some more air to your lungs, calming your racing pulse and making you feel less unhappy. As your fingers get intertwined in his shirt, crinkling under your grip, he urges you to walk backward so he can close the main door with a kick.

“God knows I'm so fuckin' sorry… Please, forgive me”. Coco's whispers brush your lips, keeping his eyes closed just like yours. “I'm gonna take care of you now, okay?”.

Nodding in silence, you place your arms around his middle back, hiding your face into his chest. His strong scent brings you back to life, while his arms wrap you tightly to comfort all the pain he has provoked you without knowing it.

“I just want you, ma'. No one else. Just you”.

[thegc4life]

Do you any other Hawks fic ideas you'd like to write? Or is Hawks-sensei all you've got on your mind right now?

Wyv. You know not what you ask. I have to put them in categories, Wyv. Categories.

Kid!Hawks:

-Kid!Hawks growing up with the LOV (both as a permanent thing and various ridiculous drabbles) This involves Unwilling Big Brother Shigaraki, scarily willing Big SisterToga who knows all the coolest knife tricks, Best Uncle Twice who sometimes on his real good days doubles as temporary Dad, the Dad who teaches you how to hot wire cars and laugh people’s money straight out of their wallets Compress, mother-henning can-not-leave-you-alone-for-one-god-damn-minute Spinner, True Mom Kurogiri, Big Sis Mag who seems to be the only actual one that realizes that children need to sleep at some point for the love of god, extremely confused but horrifically soft Dabi who may or may not eventually turn his whole life around because of this feathered idiot that needs someone to make sure he lives a happy life whether it be a permanent shrinking or not. Oh, and Machia. The best Mountain Monster Dog brother (?) a boy could ask for.

-Kid!Hawks with UA (staff edition) also both in temporary and permanent circumstances. Temporary is already in progress. Permanent? Oh boy, permanent world. They raise him within UA so as to keep him from the Commission. Hawks often sits in on their classes with coloring books, picture books, or just to sit there and watch them. He is very smart. He picks up on things, but mostly he just likes being around all the staff. He picks a new person to sleep with every week because some of them have really shitty sleep schedules and even as a kid he knows they would feel bad keeping him up, thus forcing them to go to bed through good-person guilt so he tragets the sleepiest looking people for the week (hint: Aizawa gets picked a lot, and even if he’s not sleep deprived Hawks would pick him because he adores his grumpy cat Dad). Thirteen does crafts with him all the time. She watches every kid show and gets really into it with him. Hawks and Mic make the meals and they sing the entire time. They sing together throughout the day. Hawks will chirp out a line of notes and out of nowhere Hizashi will burst in to sing the lyrics. Midnight reads him bedtime stories cause her voices are the best. She does his nails and lets him do hers. He practices on the UA students to surprise her with new designs (the students fall over their own feet to offer to be his test subject). Snipe does little challenges with him. Things that, while technically helping him get used to controlling his quirk, are more fun than anything else because Hawks enjoys using his feathers in games. Hawks dresses up like a cowboy for an entire month, quoting old western movies and driving everyone but a very proud Snipe up the wall. Hound Dog and Hawks go on walks together ALL THE TIME. They explore the woods around UA and Hound Dog tells Cementoss to change up the geography every once in a while so they have something new to explore. He teaches Hawks how to go camping and Hawks fricken adores him and is always on his shoulders just kicking his feet or napping in Hound Dogs hair. Ectoplasm is Hawks favorite person to play any kind of tag based game because the others are too easy to catch with his feathers. But with Ectoplasm and all his clones? hawks goes nuts. Ectoplasm cried once when Hawks asked Aizawa for peg legs for Halloween and when someone asks him if he wants to be a pirate he says no because he wants to be a super cool hero like Ecto for Halloween. No one will be as cool as him. Hawks fricken loves Vlad. Like, adores him. Whenever Vlad is in the room Hawks will just go hang off his shoulders, or tuck under his arms with a book to read, or just lean against him. He has a little stuffed bull dog that has Vlad’s exact resting bitch face and carries it with him every time he leaves the dorm because he feels safer with it. He goes to Vlad when he’s injured because Vlad just takes care of it, gives him a hug, and doesn’t tell him to be more careful. Just asks if Hawks learned something and moves on. Hawks and Nezu are penpals. They see eachother every single day, but they are penpals. Hawks grows up with the most beautiful calligraphy handwriting because he keeps trying to out-do Nezu’s. He absolutely tattles on every single teacher in these letters, giving Nezu years worth of blackmail. Hawks thinks Nezu is a stuffed animal until he is fourteen because Nezu never fesses up. He just thinks the staff is even cooler for letting a stuffed animal run the place. He only ever cries around Nezu.

-Kid!Hawks UA(Student edition): So many. There’s lines I’ve written where they’re still in school when Hawks is kidified. When they’re already pros. In Canon, in Hawks-sensei, I even a small blurb sentence of Deku running a preschool that Hawks gets put into in an AU with quirks still. I can’t even... there’s too many students, cause I’d do all 1-A and 1-B. My favorite one to randomly wake up in a panick and write about though is the one where it’s Hawks-sensei verse based and Kid!Hawks gets taken in by the Monoma family. Rui and Eiko are older and Monoma is a pro-hero by then. The pure amount of fluff, sass, and Hawks spoiling that will happen. Big Brother Rui and Bigger Sister Eiko.  I think about this one a lot.

-I’m currently (slowly but progressing) writing a gift for @saltwater-sweets where Kid!Hawks is taken in by the Uraraka family. Like, he’s not even shrunk in this one. Uraraka’s newlywed parents were involved in the accident he first saved people in and they found him before the Commission. They realized his homelife situation and opened their home to him and now he is Uraraka’s big brother and that one line I threw out there? About him being a global superpower in household moving? Teaming up with Uraraka for that? Yeah.

-Kid!League of Villains and adult Hawks. Yeah, you heard me. They all get shrunk instead of him. And he can’t just... turn them in. They’re kids. They haven’t done any of the crimes their older counterparts have. And if it’s a permanent thing? They stay kids? Then he has a chance to really, truly save them. To give them the happy lives stolen from them. The Commission doesn’t like that. So Hawks takes them and runs. Dabi can be an adult too, I guess, if that’s the ship or something, but I just really wanna write Kid!LOV and Dad!Hawks.

-Kid!Aizawa. Dad!Hawks. Same concept. Beautiful dream. Need I say more.

-Kid!Hawks, Best Jeanist

-Kid!Hawks Gang Orca

-Kid!Hawks RUMI!!

Vigilante Hawks:

- Raven was born and I dived down that rabbit hole so fast I went back in time. Raven. But from a way earlier age. Those guys mugging Hawks when he was fifteen? The spark. Hawks stayed on the streets, he never went back, and he learned some things. He got some freedom, learned some shit, and realized that hero society was pretty fucked up. Shigaraki starts the LOV up and realizes there’s this whole underground community he was never aware of that Hawks has been building for years. It’s great.

-Hawks was never found by the Commission so he was never ‘Hawks’. His Dad raised him as a criminal but Hawks, with his little heart of gold, took every chance he could to make something good out of the bad deeds. Then he got old enough and he took full control. You ever seen the Levi OVA’s of Attack on Titan? Where he’s walking down the stairs and you realize every single person there is part of a huge ass gang of awesome with Levi at the head? That. THAT.

-Hawks loses his shit in Canon and goes completely AWOL. full Feral. He sees the problems, and he is prepared to do whatever it takes get rid of them. Whatever it takes.

AU Hawks

-Horribly injured, recently retired at the ripe old age of 23, and looking for something to save him from depression. Hawks meets Todoroki Fuyumi who gets him a job at her school. This one makes my brain happy.

-Takami Keigo and Todoroki Natsuo meet in college, graduate together, join the same hospital, and open one as partners as soon as they can. Ship or no ship, they go through their entire lives together. (I just... I really like the Todoroki sibs, okay?)

-Takami Keigo was born a lot earlier. So much, earlier, in fact that he is classmates with this overly optimistic ball of light named Yagi Toshinori and the grumpy ball of flame Todoroki Enji. Big Three anyone? Also, everyone needs a dumb smart birb to keep them sane. Hawks loves his friends, and he’ll kick anyone’s ass that tries to hurt them be it physically, mentally, or emotionally. Also, he meets Nana. 

-I LOVE THE IMAGINARY KAMAKIRI FAMILY DYNAMIC OKAY?! literally anything with Hawks involved in their lives, okay?! I did not expect to spiral so hard when I made up Hideo and his relationship with Kamakiri but my god did I spiral! I just really love them!

-I’m a sucker for the classics. Tattoo/flower. Coffee shop. College. Roommates. Love. 

- (she made me write this) a story surrounding the amazing love story of my sister and Iida Tenya with Aizawa crashes the wedding even though he was invited and Mirio is her maid of honor, with Eri as the ring bearer, and All Might is the flower girl. Twice is the officiator. Uraraka releases a flock of fake pigeons (not real ones cause they don’t deserve that). Oh, and everyone else is there too, I guess. Except for Mineta. Cause he’s in jail.

Right now, at this very moment, I can not for the life of me think of any others but I KNOW there’s at least seven more that I just can’t remember because my brain is work dead. Wyv. @wyvernspirit do you see what you’ve opened here? Close the box! Close it before it’s too late! There is always more! I am never without MORE ideas!

[whitehotharlots]

Liberal cruelty has consquences

This semester is winding down. As I am desperate to avoid grading student papers, I’ve spent the morning reading longish-form online articles. I just came across one that I feel very conflicted about. The online reaction to it as been troubling. So I don’t know if I have anything particularly coherent to say, but I’d like to talk about it.

The anonymously written piece is titled “What Happened After My 13-Year-Old Son Joined the Alt Right.”  It documents a young man’s journey from a garden variety, liberal-leaning goon to a frothing neo nazi mutant.

The piece is understandably sympathetic, seeing as it was written by the boy’s parent. The writer’s whiny and heavy handed tone caused me, and most of my e-pals, to dismiss it. If anything, the essay showcases an immense failure of parenting. If my child were to ask me to take him or her to a “Traditional American Culture” rally, I would slap the everloving shit of them. Lord knows how many times the kid’s parents had dropped the ball before it ever got to that point.

But then I re-read the start of the article, in which the parent identifies the trigger point for their son’s downward slide:

One morning during first period, a male friend of Sam’s mentioned a meme whose suggestive name was an inside joke between the two of them. Sam laughed. A girl at the table overheard their private conversation, misconstrued it as a sexual reference, and reported it as sexual harassment. Sam’s guidance counselor pulled him out of his next class and accused him of “breaking the law.” Before long, he was in the office of a male administrator who informed him that the exchange was “illegal,” hinted that the police were coming, and delivered him into the custody of the school’s resource officer. At the administrator’s instruction, that man ushered Sam into an empty room, handed him a blank sheet of paper, and instructed him to write a “statement of guilt.”

No one called me as this unfolded, even though Sam cried for about six hours straight as staff members parked him in vacant offices to keep him away from other students. When he stepped off the bus that afternoon and I asked why his eyes were so swollen, he informed me that he would probably be suspended, but possibly also expelled and arrested.

If Kafka were a middle-schooler today, this is the nightmare novel he would have written.

At a meeting two days later with my husband, Sam, and me, the administrator piled more accusations on top of the harassment charge—even implying, with undisguised hostility, that Sam and his friend were gay. He waved in front of us a statement from the girl at the table and insisted that Sam would need to defend himself against her claims if he wanted to prove his innocence. But the administrator refused to reveal the particulars of the complaint (he had also blacked out identifying details, FBI-style) and then hid the paperwork under a book. He declared that it was his primary duty, as a school official and as a father of daughters, to believe and to protect the girls under his care.

Eck… who edited this? It would have worked so much better without a fucking Kafka reference.

So, maybe it was the tone. I dunno. But most readers seem to regard this section as exaggerated, possibly fabricated.  The takeaway was “boo hoo, the nazi kid got punished for sexually harassing  a girl.” Heck: If a reader is truly dedicated to the #BelieveAllWomen mantra, then this description doesn’t warrant sympathy even if it’s entirely true. The kid said something that upset the girl. It wasn’t directed to her and it wasn’t about her. But still, he upset her, and she’s a girl, so he is bad and deserved whatever punishment was doled out to him.

And this got me thinking about my experiences in high school, as a student in the late 90s and a teacher in the mid-aughts. Administrators seemed to always be adopting some or other policy of harsh punishment for bad behavior: zero tolerance toward weapons, drugs, hats, disrespectful posture, electronic devices, swearing, Simpsons t-shirts, and mentally unhygenic reading materials. During dances and social gatherings, my middle school allowed students to bring in CDs from home. That was a decent policy, but anyone who attempted to play a “hip hop” track would receive an immediate suspension for “endorsing violence,” regardless of the track’s lyrical content. My high school adopted a firm anti-bullying policy, but once a boy came to school wearing a gothic dress as some kind of vague transgressive statement, and two separate male teachers called him a fag--out in the open, in front of everybody, as part of the official business of teaching.

Once, in 8th grade, two kids were caught taking over-the-counter caffeine pills. They didn’t get sick or anything; a girl saw them and she narced. They were arrested by the school resource officer, taken in a cop car to the hospital to have their stomachs pumped, and then summarily expelled, their young lives effectively ruined over 50 milligrams of a safe and legal stimulant. At an emergency assembly held the next day, the frog-faced principal croaked out a dire warning that the use of such drugs was strictly forbidden and we would all be subjected to the same fate, should we attempt to sneak in any No Doz. As he issued his stern warning, he slurped gluttonously from a 22-ounce mug of gas station coffee.

The point is, zero tolerance never really means zero tolerance. Rules are always--always, literally always, without exception in the whole of human history--enforced arbitrarily. Harsh policies rarely make anyone safer. They are employed instead to further humiliate and brutalize those who have already been rejected by the system. In my last two paragraphs, I cited the dumbest and most conspicuous examples of arbitrary cruelty that happened to pop into my head. This doesn’t cover the everyday, petty cruelties that teachers and administrators would exact upon kids they simply didn’t like. Without exception, these were the kids who were already marginalized: effeminate boys, masculine but unathletic girls, kids who dressed poorly, kids who spoke with accents, black kids, kids with learning disabilities or behavioral problems. These kids would be given detentions or even suspensions for minor infractions--looking away from the chalkboard, slouching, sneaking in candy, laughing at importune times, etc. It wasn’t the teacher’s fault, of course: zero tolerance and all that. But, strangely, the zero tolerance policies never seemed to apply to the popular, athletic, and/or well-connected kids. If Suzie Creamcheese was caught sneaking some Starburst during Algebra--well, she’s probably hungry, seeing as she works so hard. If Raul, Roofus, or Sheena were caught doing the same? God help them.

Some teachers were nicer than others, of course. Some were downright supportive. Others were simply evil. There was one, when I was in 7th grade, who was particularly repulsive and cruel--no kidding, his admiration of Rush Limbaugh was formative in my early-adopted hatred of American conservatives. He had matted red hair and teeth like a cracked picket fence and would wear a leather jacket out to lunch. Anyhow, he would prattle on about his hatred of kids who “Just. Refuse. To. Learn.” These kids were almost always black. Pure coincidence, I’m sure. He’d make a show of tossing them out of class--sometimes physically--for infractions as minor as getting an answer wrong when called upon. One time, a twitchy white kid who wore the same t-shirt every day called him out: It’s unfair, he said, that I’m getting thrown out of class for getting an answer wrong, when right before me another kid got several chances to respond.

The teacher turned beet red. He got on his knees and put his face two inches in front of the twitchy kid’s eyes. 

“I’m not throwing you out because you got the answer wrong,” he explained. “I’m throwing you out because you are you.”

Again, these are the conspicuous examples. The everyday stuff is harder to describe twenty-five years after it happened.  Most people were not brutalized and they didn’t have a single moment that ruined their life, but they were still exposed to a deeply unfair and cruel system, and such exposure naturally engenders feelings of betrayal, hopelessness, and anger.

Here’s my story--it’s particularly stupid. 9th grade. One day,  I walked into Spanish class, and the large woman who teaches in that classroom before my section grabbed me by the collar, physically lifted me out of my chair, and shoved her moist biscuit of a hand into my face. “What is this,” she demanded.

This was all very sudden. I could see nothing but her hand, which had a distinct fecal aroma.

“I don’t know,” I said.

She removed her hand. I looked down toward desk. She stood silently. I had no fucking idea what she was talking about.

“You’re gonna tell me what you did, right now, or I’m gonna double the detentions.”

I was still silent. Seriously, no idea what was going on. This enraged her. She began to count upward, starting at 3 detentions and stopping at 10, by which point tears were welling up and my face was flushed. I said I seriously did not know. She pointed to a small pentagram someone had engraved into the desktop. The desks, by the way, were movable. Anyone could have done it. She blamed me because she didn’t like me. I served 10 detentions and had to pay over a hundred dollars (a shitload of money for a 13-year-old) to get the desk refinished.

This isn't the end of the world, obviously. But it really, oddly broke me. Before, I had thought that so long as I did was I supposed to and didn’t break any rules, I’d be okay. Now I realized that was bullshit, that any vindictive cunt with a few ounces of power could punish me for any reason, at any time, and I wouldn’t be allowed to mount a defense. That’s the sort of thing that fucks with a kid’s head.  I mean, christ--it’s 23 years later and I’m still kinda pissed about it. I hope that woman is dead.

I regained a sense of control by stealing books from the woman’s classroom. A few times a week, I would grab a textbook when I came in, use it during class, and walk out with it. At the end of the school year, some friends and I burned them in a glorious bonfire along the banks of the Mississippi.

My response was petty and destructive, but I don’t feel any pengs of guilt or shame in remembering it. I had to do something to reassert agency, to feel like I had some control, and I managed to find a way to go about doing it that didn’t hurt anybody or get me into trouble. Regardless of the morality of my particular response, we can agree that kids are now much more surveilled than they were 20-odd years ago, and that minor mischief is now much more harshly criminalized. If a kid finds themself on the outs within their school, there’s really no way they can push back. Their only available avenue of asserting control over their lives is to wander into welcoming communities elsewhere…

One more anecdote then I’m done….

My sister was in high school during 9/11. The attacks were on a Tuesday, and the whole rest of the week was assemblies and talking circles and other such activities meant to assuage fear and gin up the hatred of the dirty brown bastards that done this. Two of my sister’s friends, older boys, were the sort of kids who read Howard Zinn and listened to Jello Biafra’s spoken word records. During one meeting, they expressed exasperation at a girl who was sobbing because she just, like, didn’t know why anyone would do that. The boys certainly didn’t approve of the attacks, but they tried to explain the whole concept of the US being an unhinged and murderous imperial power that had done much worse stuff all over the globe. The audience gasped. The boys were hauled into the principal’s office. They were charged with verbally assaulting the crying girl. One was suspended. The other expelled.

So, I dunno… go ahead. If you think due process is evil, that all victimhood claims are valid and should be taken at face value, and that kids of lesser social status should be demonized and made into criminals for upsetting members of the fair sex, then you do you. That’s fine if that’s what you believe. But please don’t be so naive as to think that the bulk of these newly criminalized behaviors are going to actually be malignant, or that the genuinely malignant behaviors of secure kids will be curbed in any way. Please respect yourself enough to realize that school admins aren’t magic sages with mature moral compasses--a plurality of them were business majors in college, for fuck’s sake. And most importantly, don’t be surprised if the kids you dismiss wind up doing some crazy or awful shit in response.

[your-typical-giggle]

Not Your Fault (Stiles Stilinski)

I don’t know how long I spent on this thing. What I do know is that it’s not edited and I finished it at 12:14am. So it might not be the best. It doesn’t quite follow the story line of season 5, but it’s close enough.

Requested: No

Word Count: 1758 words

~

You were finally home. In your house, home, and safe. The only problem is that you weren’t alone like you wanted to be. Stiles was there, with Lydia, Kira, your brother Scott, and god forbid, Theo was there as well. You just wanted to go up to your room, get into comfortable clothes, and completely forget about everything that has happened today. That’s all you wanted.

You were so lost in thought that you didn’t notice when Stiles was staring at you. You didn’t notice until he put his hand on your shoulder, shaking you from your thoughts. “Y/n?” You look up at him, meeting his worried gaze. “How are you doing?”

“What…” You looked back down to your lap, the open book laying there. “What do you mean?” 

“You’re still on page one and we’re three hours into this, this book club.” He laughed lightly. You tried to laugh as well, just take some of the obvious worry off his shoulders.

“Yeah. I’m just really tired. That’s all.” You met his eyes again. “Today’s just been really stressful.” You whisper.

“Yeah, I know. Let’s get you up to bed, get some rest.” He grabs onto hand, helping pull you up off your chair. A wave of dizziness hit you when you got up, making you lose your balance a little. “Woah, are you okay? What was that?” His grip on you moved to your arms, holding you tightly. 

“I… I don’t know, but it’s…” You moved your hand to your forehead, holding it.

“It’s what?”

“It’s…” Before you could finish, you fell.

“Y/n? Y/N! Guys! Help me here!” Stiles yelled.

-

“Is there anything supernatural I need to know about? Anything at all?” Melissa asked the group.

“No, no, as far as I know she was perfectly fine. She was fine all day.” Scott stepped up.

“Okay.” Melissa turned to head back into the hospital.

They all went back to the waiting room, taking seats to wait for any more news.

“Stiles.” Lydia noticed him still standing by the double doors. “Stiles, come on, come sit down.”

“How could I have not noticed? I- I- how could I have  not noticed? She’s been acting strange since this morning, and I- I didn’t notice.” He kept rambling. Lydia looked over her shoulder towards Scott, silently asking for help. Scott got up, coming up to the two of them.

“Stiles, it’s okay. None of us knew. We couldn’t have known.” He set his hand on Stiles shoulder, pulling him back. “Now come on, it’ll be a few hours until they tell us anything. So come sit down.”

“Yeah, okay, yeah. Yeah.”

The wait for any news at all was driving Stiles insane. He couldn't help but put all the blame on himself. If only we went home sooner… If I could've just fixed the jeep sooner… If only I listened to her… If, if, if. Kira, Scott, and Lydia fell asleep, and Malia and Theo had already left. Stiles was too caught up in his own mind to truly focus on sleep. His leg was bouncing on the floor, watching his hands shake with worry.

“Guys,” Melissa called out. Pulling Stiles from his mind, and everyone else from their sleep. They all stood up and walked closer to Melissa. “Y/n is going to be fine. She had some bleeding on the brain and has a small concussion.” Everyone let out a breath of relief. Stiles, drowning out the rest of Melissa’s talking, started wondering how to tell them why. The poor boy’s mind was running so fast that he didn’t hear the call of his name.

“Stiles!” He looked up, meeting Scott's eyes.

“Um, yeah… yeah, what?” He turned to Melissa.

“How, in whoever, did my daughter get injured like that?” She stressed. Stiles pulled his gaze to the floor, unable to look anyone in the eye.

“We… I…” He took a breath, trying to steady himself. “I’m, I’m sorry. I was supposed to protect her. She was my responsibility for the night…” A sob left his lips, his nails digging into his palms. Scott put a hand on Stiles back, trying to be soothing.

“It’s okay, you can tell us.”

“We saw one of the chimera’s at the school. We were leaving the library and it attacked us.” He took another breath, keeping his gaze on the floor. “I tried, I really did.” Stiles tried to keep his tears at bay, tired of showing weakness. “I’m so sorry.” He whispered one last time.

“Okay. It’s okay,” Melissa brought him into her arms, trying to comfort him a little more. “You did everything you could have. Thank you.” She pulled him away. “Now, how about you go see her. All of you.”

“Scott, Kira and I will stay here for a little bit. It’s obvious that Stiles needs to see her first, and needs some time, too.” Lydia pulled the two back to the chairs. With a nod of reassurance, Melissa grabbed Stiles sleeve and pulled him to Y/n’s room. The latter whispering his apologies and the former rubbing his back. When they got to your room, Stiles couldn’t bring himself to go in.

“Come on Stiles. It’s okay.”

“I… I don’t know. What if-”

“No what ifs Stiles. Go in there, and sit in that chair, and hold her hand. You are her person. Now go act like it.” She patted him on the back, and then opened the door.

“Yeah, yeah. Okay.” Stiles stepped into the room. Hearing the door click shut behind him, he finally let his emotions out. “I’m so sorry Y/n. I should have known sooner.” He took the seat next to your bed, grabbing your hand. “Please, please forgive me. I- I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” He put your hand in between both of his now, pulling it up to his lips and kissing your knuckles. After he brought your hands to his forehead, resting them there.

It stayed like that for a while. Stiles calmed down, soon falling asleep. His hand holding one of yours now, and head facing you. A little after everyone else came in. Lydia found herself on the other side of you, trying to get the wrinkles out of the blanket. Scott pressed a kiss to what little forehead you had showing before taking a seat with Kira. Lydia follows soon after.

“I don’t think he’s slept at all in the past few days.” Scott commented. “I can’t believe it took him breaking down to do so.”

“He’s been stressed. We all have.” Kira added, squeezing Scotts hand.

“Yeah, but Stiles, along with Y/n, is the only human. I don’t have super healing like you guys, but I have something.” Lydia sighed, pulling her legs up to try to get comfortable. “Stiles only has Y/n. His way of feeling like he’s helping is by protecting her. Now he doesn’t feel he can do that anymore.” The two looked at Lydia, then looking back at Stiles and you.

“I guess that makes sense.”

“Yeah.”

They were all asleep again just a few minutes after. Not wanting to leave you until you woke. It was just about an hour later when you woke up. The room was dim, just enough light so you could see everyone. You couldn’t remember what really happened, and why everyone was in your room. Then the memory of you fainting came back, and you realized that you weren’t in your room, and in fact, in a hospital room. 

Hearing Stiles quiet snores brought your attention back to him. You couldn’t help the little smile forming on your face at the sight of him. He looked so peaceful, so calm. You ran your fingers through his hair, loving the softness of it. Though, the movement woke him, even though you tried to be gentle.

“Y/N!” He shouted, waking the others in the room. You winced at the loudness, a small pounding forming in your head.

“Hi.” You said faintly. You looked at the others, “Why are you all here? Don’t we have school in the morning?” You giggled a little at the sight of relief flooding them.

“We do, you don’t.” Lydia said, standing up and walking over to you. “But still doesn’t mean we’re going to go.” Everyone laughed a little at that. The atmosphere calming a little.

“Well, now. I think that’s a good excuse.” You laughed. “But what time is it?”

“Um,” Scott pulled out his phone. “About two in the morning.”

You took a minute to process that. “Go home. All of you.” You ordered. “I mean it. Just because I’m in the hospital doesn’t mean you get to stay here and spend the night.”

“Yes it does. Mom said you have twenty-four hour visiting time; so we can stay here all night.”

“No, Scott. Take your girlfriend home and get some good rest. You can visit me in the morning. That goes for all of you.” You pointed to the door, watching them all leave. “Stiles, that means you too.” You looked at the boy, finally noticing the tears about to fall down his cheeks. Along with the tracks the last tears made. “Fine, get up here.” You patted the spot you created when you shifted over. “I mean it Stiles, get up here.”

Reluctantly, he did. Stiles was careful with not bumping your head or touching any of the wires coming off of it. It didn’t take long before you had your head laying on his chest and his arms wrapped around you.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered.

“You don’t have to be. It wasn’t your fault. You didn’t do anything wrong.” You looked up, pulling his gaze to yours. “Stiles, I want you to listen to me very carefully.” He nodded. “I could never blame you for anything. If I did then obviously I’m not a very good girlfriend.”

“But I’m not a very good boyfriend if I can’t protect you-”

“Did I ask you to protect me? No? That’s right, I didn’t. Now, you’re going to get all those thoughts out of your head. And then you’re going to kiss me, and we’ll lay here until we both fall asleep. Okay?” You placed one of your hands on his cheek, rubbing away his fallen tears.

“Okay.”

“Okay.” You said last, pulling him in for a small kiss. “Goodnight. I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Stiles whispered, pulling you back down to laying on his chest.

[kathrynethegreat]

THE RAPE OF EUROPA: Hannibal AU Season 4                                               by Kathrynethegreat

SUMMARY

After the untimely death of his father at the hands of his disinherited sister Margot, Mason Verger finds himself the sole heir to his father’s meatpacking fortune and trustee of the Verger Museum and M.J. Verger Collection. Now with unlimited resources at his disposal, Mason is able to plot his revenge on Hannibal Lecter, who left him paralyzed after an attack years before. A great art collector like his father before him, Mason has begun to assemble a new private collection of art and artifacts related to Hannibal Lecter, with plans for the Doctor himself to eventually be at the center of the collection. But an unfortunate accident leading to Clarice Starling’s promotion to Behavioral Science, spearheading the hunt for Hannibal Lecter may cause problems. If Clarice gets to Lecter first, all of Mason’s plans will have been in vain -  but when several pieces of artwork eventually lead Mason to believe that Agent Starling may, in fact, be the perfect bait to catch Hannibal Lecter, Mason and Paul Krendler strike a deal that will give them both what they want - even if it means destroying Clarice Starling in the process.

LOCATIONS

U.S.A., France, Switzerland, Argentina

EPISODES

Season 4, Episode 1: Sense and Sensibility

Barney is hired by Mason Verger in an attempt to learn as much as possible about Hannibal Lecter. Still haunted by memories of her time with the Doctor in Italy, Johnny asks a question Clarice is hesitant to answer. Paul Krendler pays Clarice an unwanted visit.

Season 4, Episode 2: Double Exposure

Attempting to distance herself from Paul Krendler’s advances at a Museum Gala Benefit, Clarice accidentally witnesses the sleight-of-hand theft of a sculpture by a gala attendee by the name of James Brookman. Upon obtaining a warrant, the F.B.I’s Art Crime Team is shocked to find Brockman may have been responsible for hundreds of small art thefts over the years. Clarice Starling and Ardelia Mapp work to negotiate a lighter sentence – in exchange for valuable information about other art theft cases around the world, unaware that what they will learn could shake the art world to its core.

Season 4, Episode 3: The Muse

When a celebrated artist is brutally murdered in his studio in France, Clarice draws on her experiences with the Buffalo Bill case to try to find a motive. She soon discovers that the clues to the killer might lie in the very paintings that adorn the walls of the studio. Mason Verger acquires a new piece of artwork that leads him to a realization about the nature of the relationship between F.B.I. Agent Clarice Starling and Hannibal Lecter.

Season 4, Episode 4: Mundus Novus

When a raid to capture a stolen painting goes horribly wrong, Johnny suffers the consequences. The recovery mission goes from bad to worse when it is discovered the painting is a forgery.  Hannibal Lecter journeys to America. Jack Crawford receives an unexpected phone call. Paul Krendler and Mason Verger make a deal.

Season 4, Episode 5: Subtractive, Additive, Kinetic

Clarice hires her successor and settles into her new job at Behavioral Science, now officially leading the hunt for Hannibal Lecter, but questions if it’s what she still really wants. Paul Krendler asserts his authority. Hannibal Lecter sends Clarice a letter.

Season 4, Episode 6: Every Vermeer in the World

Barney and Margot strike up a friendship. Clarice begins to follow the sales of Lecter Memorabilia but struggles to push her memories of her time with the Doctor aside. Ardelia worries the stress is becoming too much for Clarice. Margot agrees to help Mason in exchange for something she wants.

Season 4, Episode 7: The Two Picassos

Clarice meets with Mason Verger about a lead in the Lecter case and is surprised to find Barney in his employ. Jack Crawford visits Will Graham in Florida. Mason puts his plan to capture Hannibal Lecter into motion, but Margot is horrified when she finds the men who kidnapped her two years earlier are the same men hired by Mason to capture the Doctor.

Season 4, Episode 8: Fearful Symmetry

The theft of the National Gallery’s copy of William Blake’s Woman Clothed with The Sun leads Clarice to think it may have something to do with Hannibal Lecter. Seeking information on the old Dollarhyde case, Clarice enlists the help of Will Graham and Miranda Pilcher. Mason’s newest art acquisition brings him one step closer to Hannibal Lecter.

Season 4, Episode 9: Vestibule of the Asylum

When a famous Van Gogh is stolen from the Verger Museum, Mason Verger requests Clarice join the case alongside her old Art Crime Team. The history of both Van Gogh and the culprit responsible for the theft lead Will Graham and Clarice to question the nature of mental illness. Clarice and Will visit the abandoned Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane in search of Hannibal Lecter’s medical records, dredging up intense memories for both of them as they stand in front of the Doctor’s empty prison cell.

Season 4, Episode 10: The Map Thief

Clarice creates waves at Columbia University when she seizes their collection of Lecter information, but manages to smooth things over when she agrees to investigate the disappearance of several priceless manuscripts from their library that have vanished without a trace.

Season 4, Episode 11: Sfumato

Clarice’s work with Behavioral Science begins to dovetail with her old Art Crime Team as the Lecter Memorabilia sales lead her to an art dealer she believes may be working for Mason Verger. Clarice goes for a run in the forest, unaware that Hannibal Lecter is watching her every move.

Season 4, Episode 12: Entartete Kunst

When a trove of stolen paintings from WWII is discovered behind a wall in the home of a wealthy Argentine businessman, Clarice is called upon to authenticate the items and determine the process of restitution for the paintings.  When it is discovered that the man has been living under a false identity since the war, Clarice realizes she recognizes the man’s real name - a name mentioned to her years ago by Hannibal Lecter.

Season 4, Episode 13: The Deposition of Christ

When Clarice uncovers a connection between Hannibal Lecter and the Polish-French artist Balthasar Klossowski de Rola, she journeys to Switzerland to meet with him about a painting that might draw the attention of Lecter. On returning to the United States, Clarice finds Paul Krendler is doing everything he can to dismantle her career.

Season 4, Episode 14: The Fall of the House of Verger

When Clarice witnesses a kidnapping that the F.B.I. refuses to acknowledge, she decides to take matters into her own hands. Mason’s well-laid plans finally come to fruition. Jack Crawford suffers a heart attack. Hannibal Lecter asks Margot Verger for help.  Margot makes a shocking discovery about her brother’s estate.

Season 4, Episode 15: The Restoration of Clarice Starling

When the F.B.I. gives little attention to Clarice Starling having gone missing, Ardelia goes in search of Clarice herself.  Margot and Lecter exchange favors. Paul Krendler joins Hannibal Lecter and Clarice Starling for dinner. The F.B.I. Art Crime Team receives a mysterious note that may finally help them solve the Gardner case.

CREDITS

The bust of Medusa is edited from a photo from the Gorgon City Album Cover, Sirens. The snake is from the Visconti Coat of Arms over the Archbishop’s Palace in Milan, Italy.

NOTES

That’s it. All four seasons. Thanks for all of the kind notes and PMs.  Please note that almost every episode in this series has been inspired by a real art-related crime. I have a lot more graphics that did not make the cut. I wasn’t planning on posting them, but can if anyone is interested. Also though I do not plan to write 60 episodes of fan fiction, I do know all the details of each plot, flashbacks featured and what art is shown in each episode, so feel free to ask if you have questions about what happens in an episode, or about the real crimes that inspired them.  And yes, “The Two Picassos” does refer to Will Graham and Mason Verger.

OVERVIEW

SEASON 1 SUMMARY | SEASON 1 DETAILS

SEASON 2 SUMMARY | SEASON 2 DETAILS

SEASON 3 SUMMARY | SEASON 3 DETAILS

SEASON 4 SUMMARY | SEASON 4 DETAILS

[saadkaufman-blog]

Airbnb Seo Strategy

Part 1: Airbnb Market and keyword research In the first part we discussed the SEO factors that affect your Airbnb listing views a little. Now I’m sharing some free tools with you to assist figure out what your Airbnb keyword technique is gonna be. What's an Airbnb Keyword? Airbnb keywords would be the foundation of your Airbnb SEO way of your listing. Unlike suggested by its name, keywords might be many word. For instance “Airbnb Vancouver Yaletown” would all be considered just one single keyword. Keywords are separated by a comma. Airbnb keywords are crucial information which enables the Airbnb algorithm prioritize listings, according to a searcher’s enquiry. How to get Your Perfect Airbnb Keywords We should build a search engine optimization strategy around the highest volume and most relevant search terms people use who are seeking listings like yours. There’s a number of solutions to do this. Recall exactly what the function of previous guest visits are. This can be gold. I live near to a medical facility and guests have selected my listing specifically for this reason. So I’ll make sure you include the hospital name during my listing SEO. Similarly, I live close to an attractive neighbourhood and could include that keyword in my Airbnb SEO strategy. If you discover you will get many visitors because you’re close to opertation center, sports area or other high traffic special event venue, those are great choices to make your keyword strategy around too. 2. Consider important sites and places of interest you live near. Do you live near special tourist attractions, famous parks, buildings of interest that your particular city’s tourism board promotes? Then include those keywords for the next part! Now we’re planning to apply certain free research tools to spot your very best Airbnb SEO strategy. Keyword Strategies for Your Airbnb SEO Strategy Visit https://smallseotools.com/keywords-suggestions-tool/ and kind from the following but fill it with your listing’s information: Airbnb [your city] [your state/province] Now you’ll go to a list of suggested keywords that are generated. These are other more specific keyword combinations that men and women inputting the words above are utilizing. Choose as much as 5 of the very relevant keywords because we’re then gonna see their monthly search volumes. We’re looking for the best search volumes which might be best in your listing.

Part 2: Airbnb Keyword Volume With your 5 keywords, now look into the monthly amount of searches with the link below: https://smallseotools.com/keyword-research/ Don’t forget to incorporate any special locations or tourist sites if they’re close to your listing. Airbnb [your city] [your state/province] [tourist site/hospital/university/etc] This gives an thought of the standard monthly search volumes by individuals specifically looking for short-term rentals near your listing, playing on your location’s advantage. Part 3: Choosing Your Airbnb Keywords The “airbnb [your city] [your state]” keyword ought to be the highest volume and may likely be the main keyword you’ll build something around. You’ll likewise have some useful listing variations which will prove useful later. Be sure you write them down, in addition to monthly amount of searches. You ought to now have the following keywords: Primary keyword which is very general. ex: airbnb victoria bc canada 2. Secondary keywords more specific to your location. Never get them to too long. The space from the examples below work effectively. ex: airbnb victoria oak bay, airbnb royal jubilee hospital, airbnb university of victoria, Congratulations! You have Airbnb keywords that can be placed on make an Airbnb SEO strategy. Part 4: The way to Apply Keywords For your Airbnb SEO Strategy The Airbnb keywords you researched in the earlier section can finally get applied to your listing. When placed correctly as instructed below, your brand-new Airbnb keywords will direct the Airbnb algorithm to get started on favouring your listing when potential guests search. We’ll use the previous keyword “airbnb victoria oak bay” for example. Airbnb Title. Ex: OAK BAY! Bright, Spacious & Stylish 2 Bedroom Airbnb Description. Ex: Just outside of Oak Bay towards the bottom of a quaint Victorian street…. Airbnb Image SEO. You might need to re-upload the identical images again but this is very important. If you save the picture on your computer on this occasion, perform following. No capital letters, no spaces (use hyphens), no special characters. All your image file names will want to look like this when you re-upload for the listing. ex: oak-bay-2-bedroom-victoria-bc.png You don’t need to include airbnb in the file names. Utilize the other keywords inside your image SEO naming to improve the probability of turning up for those more specific searches too! If you’d like to learn more about SEO file naming for image and video, you'll be able to go here. Airbnb Custom URL SEO. This really is still somewhat new from Airbnb so few people have performed this yet. Within the manage your listing page, you’ll get the option under the title and outline edit section. Here’s an examples I used with my keywords “oak-bay-victoria”. Uncover more about Airbnb custom URLs here. Duplicate your listing and apply your secondary keywords. Since trying this nearly Half a year ago, I can confirm they have doubled how often my listing has been seen. As mentioned previously, I realize most of my guests are trying to find accommodations close to the hospital, i really developed a listing geared toward that traveller group try to show up at the superior. I kept much of the descriptions precisely the same given that they included the key and secondary seo keywords. It helps me to rate my listings many times. Be sure to alter the image file names, titles and descriptions, and be sure the calendars are synched. Do that, visit the hosting dashboard, manage-your-space/availability and after that head to synch calendars. In case you found these Airbnb host tips on SEO helpful, you may well be thinking about the Airbnb SEO service I’m launching with limited space. Discover more about it at https://www.thisonemarketing.com/ Now that you’ve applied your Airbnb SEO terms to your listings, we’re prepared to enter into growth hacking tricks for Airbnb hosts that can make your short-term rental more profitable, gain more positive reviews and help reduce the possibility of problem guests. For more details about airbnb seo strategy web page: read this.

[jae-sch-writes]

Sweet Oblivion

Characters: Sam Winchester x Reader, Dean Winchester, Katie (OFC), Zoe (OFC, mentioned)

Word Count: 1,086

Genre: Angst

Prompt: Oblivion- the state of being unaware of what is happening around you

Summary: After the sledding accident, Sam and Dean stay in the hospital with the Reader, waiting for her to wake up.

Warnings: hospital mentions, mention of sledding accident, coma

A/N: This is a second part to There Was An Accident..., but you don’t need to read it to understand what’s going on in this piece. This is also for @thing-you-do-with-that-thing ‘s Beautiful Words Challenge! Edited by Grammarly, but any and all mistakes are my own and no one is to blame for them but me, myself, and I.

Sam and Dean never left the hospital after your accident. Sam couldn’t help but feel like it was his fault. He felt like she should have done something to keep you from going down that hill one more time. He even thought that maybe if he had gone on that sled with you, it would be him laying in that hospital bed and not you, or maybe, if he was feeling optimistic, both of you would be okay.

The cut on your head was long since gone. Cas had come and healed your wounds, but he couldn’t get you to wake up. That was something you had to do on your own.

Dean had fallen asleep on the couch and Sam was sitting in the chair he had pulled next to your bed weeks ago. The nurses offered him a cot for him to sleep in, but he refused. Sometimes he took the couch and Dean stayed by your side, but it wasn’t very often that particular event occurred.

Sam had taken one of your hands in his own and he ran his thumb over your knuckles. It was something you always loved him doing. You wouldn’t be able to explain why, but the small gesture always made you feel safe.

To put it gently, Sam looked awful. He had bags under his eyes and there was a beard covering his face. Sam knew if you were awake, you would tell him to go home, shower, and get some proper rest, but there was no way in hell Sam was going to leave your side. Not if he could help it.

“Mr. Winchester?” Sam looked up to see a nurse he had never seen before.

“Um, yeah. Yeah, that’s me.” Sam’s voice was hoarse. Hours of not talking and crying had made his throat raw and sore. “Sorry, you’re not one of our usual nurses. Usually, Zoe is the nurse on Tuesdays.”

“Oh, Zoe’s sick today, so I’m working a double to cover for her. My name is Katie. I’m just here to change Mrs. Winchester’s IV and then I’ll be on my way. Can I get you anything though?”

“No, no I’m good, thanks.”

“It must be nice, being like that,” Katie said as she began changing the IV bag.

“I’m sorry, what?” Sam was completely confused at a little mad at the statement. That was not something one would want to hear come from the mouth of any medical professional, let alone the one that was currently taking care of someone you loved.

“Sorry. All I meant was it must be nice to be oblivious to the rest of the world. Mrs. Winchester here doesn’t know about all of the monsters and problems going on in the world right now. She gets to remain unaware of everything else happening around her. The only things she really needs to worry about is herself, you, and whoever that handsome fella is over there on the couch.”

Sam sat in silence while Katie finished changing Y/N’s IV. After she left, he realized she had a good point. In this hospital, within these walls, Dean, Y/N, and himself were completely unaware of the world around them.

Sam never saw Katie again after that day. He knew that she was right though. Sure, you were in a coma, but with it came a break from hunting. He didn’t know what the supernatural “Big Bad” currently wreaking havoc on the world was but enjoyed that. He relished in the fact that he was oblivious to the hunting world for the time being, even if it was for one of the worst reasons he could possibly think of.

A month after that Tuesday, you woke up.

Sam was by your head, running his fingers through your hair and Dean was sitting on the other side of you, reading one of your favorite books. He hated reading anything that didn’t involve girls, but it was better than the silence. He claimed it was for you, but everyone knew it was for his benefit as well.

Dean was in the middle of the book when your hand twitched. Neither of the boys noticed the small movement, but when a groan left your body, their bodies went into high alert for the first time in months.

“Y/N? Come on, baby, wake up.” Sam whispered and he grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. “You can do it. I know you can.”

You slowly opened your eyes but immediately shut them again when they were exposed to the harsh hospital lighting.

“Hold on sweetheart. I’ll get the lights,” Dean said before rushing over to the light switch and turning them off. “Okay, you’re good, Y/N.”

You slowly opened your eyes and found two Winchester faces filled with concern staring back at you.

“I’m gonna go get the nurse,” Dean said as he left the room quickly to find literally whoever was on duty that day.

You and Sam sat in silence. Your hand was still in his but you didn’t mind in the slightest. You were honestly afraid to let go of him. You didn’t know how long you had been gone, but you remembered what had happened. You never wanted to leave Sam’s side again.

The nurse came into the room with Dean close behind him.

“Hello, Mrs. Winchester. So glad to see your awake. You know, your husband and brother-in-law were worried sick about you.”

All you could do was nod; you weren’t ready to talk. Not quite yet.

“I know you’re probably itching to get out of here and back out into the world, but we’d like to keep you here or a least a couple of more days, probably more, for observation and some occupational therapy, but we’ll get you back out there in no time. Promise.”

You looked at Sam and nodded as a silent communication to let him know it was okay to speak for you. He knew how much it bothered you when people spoke for other people and not let them use their own voice, but this time was different. You didn’t know what was going on and this was the one time you would be more than happy to let Sam use his voice as your own.

That’s perfectly fine. Take all the time you need,” Sam said. “Keep us isolated from the outside world for a little longer.” Sam looked at you as he whispered, “We don’t mind the oblivion.”

Tags

@re-fordoremi @the-sporty-musical-nerd @katymacsupernatural

[tylerandalexandceddyohmy]

This is combining Coffee House AU and Detective AU - It has minimal editing so, please forgive me.

“He’s cute, right? Like, he’s cute cute, don’t you think?” Tyler asked Brayden.

“Yes, he’s cute. Why don’t you either go bother him or help me? We’re getting busy,” Brayden grumbled has he gently nudged Tyler out of his way.

Tyler was completely oblivious, he was busy staring dreamily at their newest hire at the counter. Alex was teaching Ondrej how to run the register and he seemed to be picking it up quickly.

Brayden kicked Tyler in the ankle.

“Ow!” Tyler said loudly, causing everyone in the coffee shop to turn and look at him. “Sorry, just a, little burn. Better go take care of it.”

Tyler’s eyes promised retribution but Brayden couldn’t bring himself to care because it got Tyler out of his way.

“Just invite him to hang out,” Alex sighed, walking around Tyler to get to the cappuccino machine.

—

“But I’m his boss, I don’t want him to feel obligated or like it’s a condition of his job,” Tyler said, following Alex.

“You guys are my bosses I don’t feel obligated to hang out with you,” Brayden interjected from right behind them where he was working the drive thru.

“We’re roommates Bray, you kind of have to hang out with me,” Tyler snorted.

“Fine,” Brayden said. “I will invite him to hang out with us.”

“Please,” Alex muttered. “Maybe he will finally shut up about Ondrej. It’s been weeks.”

“It’s been two weeks, don’t be dramatic,” Tyler countered.

“Two weeks is still weeks,” Alex said.

Behind Tyler someone cleared their throat. He turned around to see Ondrej.

“The guy at the counter wants to know if we take travelers checks,” Ondrej said.

Tyler shook his head and went to the counter to explain to the customers.

—

“Ondrej with an O has come over three weekends in a row to hang out with us,” Brayden said to Alex. “When is Tyler going to stop acting like a high school girl?”

“I don’t think he is, we’re just going to have to pray Ondrej with an O steps up and does something about it. He seems to like Tyler too,” Alex said.

They were laying on floats in their backyard pool one morning before their shift at the coffee house.

“Andrej with an A says there’s something weird about Ondrej with an O,” Alex said, pushing himself away from the edge of the pool with his foot.

“Oh yeah?” Brayden asked, sitting up and pushing his sunglasses up to look at Alex. “What?”

“Just little stuff, but a lot of it. He told Andrej with an A that he’s from a big city in the west of the Czech Republic but his accent doesn’t fit. He doesn’t seem to know his way around the city he says he’s from. Just stuff like that.”

“Well maybe he’s from a small town and that’s the closest big town, so it’s easier to say that,” Brayden said.

“That’s what I thought too but now he’s avoiding Andrej with an A.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah,” Alex said as Brayden settled back onto his float.

—

“Drej, Bray is sick do you think you’ll be able to pull a double with me?” Tyler asked Ondrej. “I’m only asking because it’s Alex and Andrej’s anniversary so I don’t wanted to mess up their plans.”

Ondrej was glad they’d finally settled on calling him Drej instead of Ondrej with an O. “Sure, it’s no problem. I don’t have any plans tonight.”

And it wasn’t really a double, it was only about three hours until the shop closed.

Ondrej was also glad that Tyler was now able to work through his crush on him. It was unnerving to try and learn a new job, in your second language, and keep your wits about you, with your boss staring at you. No matter how cute he was.

The cafe was empty, it was about five thirty on a Tuesday, Tyler was standing at the counter talking, exuberantly, to Ondrej. About what, Ondrej didn’t have a clue, he’d lost the thread of the conversation when he noticed the way Tyler’s eyelashes fluttered when he laughed.

“You know what I mean?” Tyler asked.

Ondrej vaguely nodded before leaning in an pressing a kiss to Tyler’s smiling lips.

Tyler gasped against his mouth and Ondrej started to pull away but Tyler reached up and wound his arms around his neck and pulled him back in, deepening the kiss.

After a moment Ondrej pulled away, stepping back from Tyler.

“I’m sorry, Tyler, I can’t do this.”

The look on Tyler’s face hurt Ondrej. “You kissed me!”

“I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have but I couldn’t help myself,” Ondrej said, looking down and fiddling with a flyer that was on the counter.

“You’re sorry? You couldn’t help-,” Tyler stopped talking suddenly. “I’ll be in the office working on the closing paperwork, just yell if you need help.”

—

Ondrej felt horrible. He was shocked he hadn’t been fired. Tyler could probably do that, saying that Ondrej had sexually harassed him. Instead Tyler changed their schedules, making sure they were never working at the same time. On top of that no one else was speaking to him.

Not to mention he’d nearly blown a two year investigation because he couldn’t control himself around Tyler.

In a way, it made Ondrej’s job easier, his real job. Tyler wasn’t there to distract him.

Tyler had successfully avoided Ondrej for three weeks, until Alex needed an emergency appendectomy. The surgery had gone well and Andrej was at the hospital with him so Tyler went in to cover the shift Alex was supposed to work.

Brayden had offered to stay but Tyler knew he had a test the next day and needed to go home and study.

Tyler was tired, he’d been at the hospital all night so he couldn’t bring himself to care that he would be working with Ondrej.

The cafe was quiet when Tyler walked in.

“How is he?” Brayden asked, again, anxiously, pressing a coffee into Tyler’s hand.

“How is he?” Brayden asked, again, anxiously, pressing a coffee into Tyler’s hand.

Ondrej came over to hear the update on Alex. “He’s ok, they got his appendix out before it burst. That was the most important thing. They said he should recover quickly with just a few small scars.”

With that he sent Brayden home and sat down one of the stools behind the counter. “I’m going to work the counter tonight,” Tyler told Ondrej.

“Ok, you don’t even have to stay out here with me. You can go sleep in the office if you want to,” Ondrej told him. “I can run the front by myself.”

Ondrej was nervous. Alex always left him alone in the front of the store on slow nights so he could work on the accounting stuff for the store, but Tyler didn’t handle that part of the business. He would stay in the front of the cafe with him.

“No, it’s ok. If I go to sleep now I won’t wake up to go home,” Tyler explained.

Ondrej just nodded.

Their very carefully laid plans to take down one of Prague’s most notorious criminals could potentially be ruined by an emergency appendectomy.

Ondrej sat down on the stool next to Tyler. “I owe you an apology,” Ondrej said, quiet enough that agents sitting in the cafe couldn’t hear. “I’m sorry I kissed you when I shouldn’t have. It was inappropriate and then on top of that I was rude.”

Tyler just nodded. “This might be the sleep deprivation talking but Alex needing surgery has really made me realize what’s important in life, and it’s not being mad at you for kissing me and then taking it back. If you just want to be friends I fine with that.”

They sat in companionable silence for a while, until one of the agents gave Ondrej a slight nod.

“Do you want to go get started on the end of night paperwork?” Ondrej asked. “I don’t think we’re really going to do too much more in sales tonight.”

Tyler looked at his coffee and thought about it for a moment. “Nah, I’ll just do it in the morning. In the state I’m in, I’d probably mess it up.”

Tyler was completely oblivious to the palpable tension in his cafe.

Two black Range Rovers parked in front of the cafe, just like they did every Tuesday and Thursday.

Tyler perked up and stood up to greet his customers. Ondrej stood up, preparing himself to protect Tyler.

“Good evening mister-“ Tyler started, Ondrej cut him off by shoving him under the counter. At the same time Ondrej drew his weapon.

“Ondrej what the fuuuu-“

Tyler was drown out by shouts of, “FBI, get down on the ground!”

—

After everything died down Tyler was standing in the cafe, looking at his shattered glass door. Given the situation Ondrej thought that the door being the only casualty was pretty good.

Ondrej finished giving his report to his FBI supervisor he walked over to Tyler who turned to face him.

“My name really is Ondrej, but my real last name is Palat. I’m an investigator with the Police of the Czech Republic, I’m here working with the FBI to arrest, that guy we just arrested. I’m sorry I lied to you but we needed someone undercover here,” Ondrej paused and took a deep breath. “I really do have feelings for you and I want to take you to dinner tomorrow night.”

Tyler launched himself at Ondrej, kissing him and laughing at the same time.

Ondrej pulled away when the agents in the cafe started clapping

“Ok, who’s paying to fix my door?” Tyler asked.

[knockbeforeyouspeak]

the future (you once had)

tom hiddleston x reader

inspired by this post​. they write wonderful chris evans imagines you should check them out!

prompt: 19. “Go home.”; 52. “Why don’t you tell me why you really came here tonight?”; 64. “If you’re not busy… maybe we can get dinner?”

(pic source: x)

“If you’re not busy … maybe we can get dinner?”

The question stunned you into silence. For a minute you thought you were only dreaming, hallucinating, or that was your brain playing tricks on you. The next minute you were trying to get your mind together, resuming your work like nothing had ever happened. Indeed it didn’t, right? You hadn’t heard anyone asking you for a dinner. In fact, you hadn’t heard anyone saying anything.

You inserted coins to the cashier. Your shift ended in two hours. If you could manage, and you should, you might be able to visit your Grandma. Her house was only a kilometer from the nearest bus stop.

“Hey.”

Grandma would be very happy when she found out that you had baked her a jar of gingerbreads. The jar in question itself were safely hidden beneath the counter. You couldn’t risk dropping your bag by accident and broke the jar in the process, that’s why you had chosen to put the jar in a place you could get a clear view of.

“Knock knock, is anyone there?”

It was snowing, yes it had been, but that wouldn’t be a problem. Not at all. The last Christmas you had driven with your windscreen half-covered with snow, and you had managed to get home safely. Plus, you didn’t bring a car today. You had planned to just walk. So basically visiting your Grandma was the best plan you could possibly have.

Someone leaned on the counter and said, “Y/N, I actually was talking to you.”

You felt your fingers twitched. It seemed your terrible attempt at ignoring his presence was pointless. Determined not to back down, you continued counting the money of today’s transactions. “Yes, Sir? How can I help you?”

“You heard me.”

“Yes, I did. Is your change right?” You didn’t bother looking up, but you could feel his eyes staring a deep hole at your face. The problem was your count would soon come to an end; you even actually had double checked the money earlier. When you ran out of idea to stall time, there would be no other choices but facing a conversation you knew he had prepared.

Why would he visit this bookstore, anyway? You cursed silently. In other days, you would probably take advantage of him. Maybe put him in the spotlight as a main attraction. It sure would increase the bookstore’s income one way or another, for who wouldn’t want to buy a book with Tom Hiddleston smiling at you behind the cashier? With Tom Hiddleston handing you your book and wishing you a good day? And taking selfies together as a bonus? That would totally be great! You could even get a praise or two from your manager. Business done, everyone’s happy, what a win-win solution is that!

Unless, today wasn’t that other day. It was a day as usual as any. Eleven o’clock at daytime. As much as you loved books, which made this part-time job a perfect way to spend your time and make some dough simultaneously, there were times when you wished you could go anywhere but your workplace and home. A travelling would be nice. You had been saving money for that, solely the reason why you had taken two jobs at a time. If anything was on schedule, you could take your flight two months from now.

That was still in the future. Right now, you had your cashier, and this particular customer who hadn’t gone from your sight eventhough you had handed him his change.

The particular customer who, of all people, happened to be someone you knew all too well. Mention his name and fangirls would go crazy. What would you say about that? Oh, yeah, it’s Tom Hiddleston and he is my ex. Guess what, we broke up not long ago! How does that sound?

Great, but no thanks.

His arm was resting on the counter that separated him from you. You stole a swift glance to his watch. You expected nothing out of it, really. You did it without purpose, just idly trying to come up with an idea to avoid him as best as you could. But the sight made your gaze lingered a little too long as you frowned: he was wearing the watch you had given to him as a present one Christmas ago. It brought back memories you had kept at the deepest of your mind, some of them you didn’t want to remember.

And he noticed this. Seeing an opportunity to catch your attention, he quipped in. “Familiar with what you see?”

Don’t talk to me like we are strangers, your inner voice called out. Yet at the same time you also thought, or, better, don’t talk to me at all.

The first thing that crossed your mind was to snap at him, telling him to just get out of your sight, to go anywhere but near you, to disappear right now and if he wouldn’t, you would happily be the one doing so. It only took seconds for you to realize he didn’t deserve that. No matter how bad the way you parted, he didn’t deserve any of that.

Tom was a good man. Even if he slipped once or twice, even after you learned one particular thing about him you couldn’t stand without getting angry, that wouldn’t change the fact that he indeed was a good man. He had this very sincere smile. He had this dimple on his left cheek. He treated you the way you wanted to be treated. He respected your privacy. He listened to your rants. He was there by the end of your day. Sure it had been a long-distance one; him with his works and you with yours. Sure you made compromises every now and then. But you had his hands holding you while you walked down the street, the stolen kisses, the nights spent doing nothing but enjoying each other’s company; the times when you had his undivided attention and he had yours.

You couldn’t ask for more. Everything had been perfect. But of course life wouldn’t let go without plunging you into one of their twists. Reality didn’t always go as planned, apparently.

You bound the money together, putting it inside the cashier. For the first time since he had stood across you, you lifted your chin. You were met with a set of brilliant blue eyes, staring at you the way they had always been, with a look only people who once loved each other would know how to. Once, you highlighted. It felt like decades had passed when in fact it had only been months.

Most people didn’t change much within months. Keyword: much. And so did Tom. He was clad in a casual wear: a shirt beneath an outer, a pair of jeans, you couldn’t see his shoes from where you were standing. You wouldn’t say he wasn’t handsome, because dear Lord how could he not be, but it was unbelievably difficult to look into his eyes while pretending you didn’t want to strike him with a bone-crashing hug.

When you fully realized what you had just thought, you wondered if you had missed him all along. Did I? You asked yourself, but no answer came back.

“Tom.” You greeted. Even his name had a vague taste at your tongue. As if you had never said his name out loud before. As if you had just learned a random name you saw on the street.

Tom smiled. A tiny one, only a twitch at each end of his lips. If you hadn’t known him for years, you would have missed it easily. He must have sensed it too, the unease feeling hanging thickly above the both of you. The atmosphere between strangers.

“How are you?”

You glimpsed the paper bag on his other hand. Inside was the book you had swiped its barcode only minutes ago. A copy of Shakespeare’s Hamlet. You knew Tom had already had Hamlet, for you yourself had seen it in his bookshelf. Why would he buy another? You couldn’t help but wondered. Was it to be given for someone? Was it a gift for someone’s special day? Did he buy it just because it was the limited edition from the publisher? He could have bought it online, couldn’t he?

As soon as your head started running possibilities, you stopped. It wasn’t to be your concern. You had absolutely nothing to do with that. Nothing with Tom. Not anymore.

He took a rather deep breath at your quietness. “For an acquaintance of mine.” He explained without you asking. You raised an eyebrow. It was rare for him to use that word. He would usually prefer something that had more depth in it, such as friend. Or buddy. “A big fan of Shakespeare as I am—”

“Why don’t you tell me why you really came here?” you interrupted, unable to hold back any longer. You thought he must have anticipated the question though, for he didn’t look surprised at all. Nevertheless, he seemed to hesitate, you could tell from the way he subtly clenched his hand into a fist.

“I bought a book.”

What an obvious answer. You couldn’t see the point of beating around the bush and didn’t want to deal with one, so you nodded. “Of course.“ A few beats of silence and you shrugged. “Yeah. Have a good day. Come back soon to our bookstore.” The last sentence didn’t deliver its real meaning. It was a formality instead of hospitality. You hoped he would never visit this bookstore anymore, not while you still worked at it.

You were about to retreat when he made a move. Tom reached forward, grabbing your fingers with one fluid motion, practically trapped your fingers between his and the hard surface of the counter. It startled you like hell, yet he opened his mouth before you could react, “Hold on.”

You swept your surroundings in a quick but thorough glance. No one was near the counter, which meant no one would come to pay their books, at least not for now. You wasn’t sure whether you have to be grateful or dreadful about that. Having someone around would include getting a curious look or two, but also a chance to escape from this very situation. Unfortunately you got neither.

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to tear your fingers out of him. His grasp was strong enough to hold you still, but not strong enough to hurt you. “What is the matter with you?” You whisper-shouted. “Let go!”

“Please, Y/N,” He flashed you a mixed look of frustration and plead. “We never talked about this. Not once. One time you were with me and in a blink you were gone. Just like that.”

You had determined not to argue, but his words inflicted a sense of defensive inside you. You leaned just a bit forward, feeling offended more than ever. “Well, what am I supposed to do? Waiting for you to act first? I did wait! I did give you a chance to talk to me, to confess, to apologize! I gave you time to do any of that! But did you? Not at all! You’re the one hiding everything. You’re the one ruining what we once had. It’s just logical that I chose to give up on us, isn’t it?”

Tom tightened his fingers around yours. He clearly was trying to find a way to make things clear between the two of you; the misunderstandings you both probably had, the event that dimmed out the sparks that once had been there. But what could he do anyway? Things had ended for the both of you. You didn’t want to look back. Not ever.

“One dinner,” he finally resolved. You recalled it was what he had said in the beginning, the offer you had ignored. “One dinner. We’ll talk. Let me make it up to you. Let me … let me fix this.”

His grip loosened a bit, most likely because of his defeated stance. You seize the moment to rip your hands from him, wincing when you realized you put too much force in it. Tom flinched a bit, a look of hurt flashed across his face and you couldn’t help but felt guilty. Yet you recovered quickly, nearly snapping in anger but you held back in the last moment. “Go home, Tom.” You shook your head to emphasize your point. “There’s no use of talking anymore. I won’t take that offer. Just, try to get on with life, I suppose.”

That sounded horrible. More than that, hypocrite. Only a jerk would say that. Have you become one? You weren’t sure. But it was an honest truth. You had been trying to move on. He should, too.

Tom didn’t avert his gaze from you. He looked tired, miserable, like he hadn’t slept or eaten properly the past days. Were you the reason behind that? “I’m sorry.”

You bit the inside of your cheek. There was warmness pressing your eyes, but you had decided this wasn’t worth crying upon. “You should have said that months ago,” you said bitterly. “I might have forgiven you.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“You slept with another woman while you’re away,” you looked down, staring at the space between your shoes.

“I’m sorry.”

"You betrayed my trust.”

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, this time barely a whisper.

From the corner of your eyes, you see a young woman slowly striding towards you. Her focus still torn between going to the cashier and a display of books, so it might buy you some time. However, this should come to an end.

“Go home, Tom,” you pressed your palm against your forehead, wanting nothing but some solid five minutes to settle the mess inside your head. “Don’t come back. I don’t want to see your face ever again. Just … go.”

He had hurt you so deep the wound would never recover completely. You probably had hurt him back by leaving so abruptly, and now shoving him away, refusing his apology and whatnot. It was probably for the best since you were no longer able to see your future with him. It used to be there, but not anymore.

God, how did everything end up like this?

[livin-inthestateofdreaming-blog1]

Kaspersky Discount

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[bellabooks]

Imagine If They Had Just Made Them Gay: SuperHero Edition

Out of all the numerous movie categories out there, the superhero genre has always struck me as insanely queer. Maybe it’s all the tight, spandex outfits. Or the overly common “outsider / sociality reject” theme that can be found in almost every superhero movie known to man. But, regardless of the reason, most superhero movies tend to be one good, sweaty grappling fight scene away from being dubbed an LGBTQ+ instant classic. So then why aren’t there more queer superhero movies? Simple. Superheroes, by our antiquated societal definition, are supposed to be the epitome of hyper masculinity. They are super muscular, insanely good looking, and always manage to not only save the day, but also win over the affection of the damsel in distress while doing so. And of course, this naturally means, they can’t be associated to anything that remotely goes against those stereotype. Like being female. Or queer… Or, god forbid, being a queer female. Yes, there have been some great strides made over the past few years to fix this general disparity and we are finally starting to see more of an overall variety when it comes to types of superheroes on the big screen *cough* Wonder Woman *cough*, but there’s still a long, long way to go. So, while I sit and wait for Hollywood to finally make my dreams come true and produce a honest to god queer female superhero movie, I pass the time by playing a few rounds of “Imagine If they Had Just Made Them Gay” with some of my all-time favorite superhero movies.   Power Rangers (2017) Now, I know what you’re thinking… Power Rangers? Seriously? Out of all of the one to choose from in the vast lexicon of superhero movies, why Power Rangers? Isn’t it just a cheesy, big-screen version of the painfully bad 90’s kids TV show? Well, three reasons. One, the Power Rangers Movie is actually good… like surprisingly good, in an modern day Breakfast Club, extra angsty sorta way. Don’t believe me? Go on and watch it for yourself. Don’t worry. I can wait… Done watching? Good. Now, let’s continue. Secondly, the Power Rangers is one of the rare examples of an ensemble superhero movie that features more than one female lead. Crazy, right?  But, sadly, it’s the truth. The Avengers? Black Widow. Fantastic Four? Sue Storm. The Justice League? Wonder Woman. You get the point. And lastly, it’s the first superhero movie to feature a queer character. Granted, I use the word “queer” loosely because this is only hinted at in one scene where Trini (aka the Yellow Ranger) gives an indirect “coming out” speech after being asked if her problems were “girl problems.” But, at the same time, though, given her steady wardrobe of flannels and beanies, and faux shaved side of the head hairstyle, little to no verbal confirmation is actually needed. Trini, in short, is one rainbow flag away from a one woman pride parade. So, given all of the above, plus the overwhelming amount of Trini / Kimberly (aka the Pink Ranger) “getting to know you” deleted scenes, why on earth didn’t they just take it one step further and make it a full-fledged queer falling in love story? Absolute head scratcher, right? Well, I still hold out hope for there being one in the next movie (that’s if Lionsgate comes to their senses and finally green lights a sequel), but in the meantime, imagine if Power Rangers went a little something like this… Kimberly Hart. Once head cheerleader and ex-teen royalty of Angel Grove High, falls from grace after leaking a nude pic of her ex-best friend to her then boyfriend. (side note: still have sooo many questions as to why she had this pic to begin with. Is this a straight girl thing? Cause, if not, it so screams gay in a “I have memorized every Tegan and Sara song known to man” sorta way.) After giving herself an impromptu bob in the high school bathroom during Saturday detention, Kimberly happens to stumble upon four other high school social rejects late one night at the local quarry and they proceed to make a life changing discovery in the way of five oddly colored, intergalactic gems. Quickly coming to the realization that they suddenly now all possess superpowers thanks to the mysteriously gems, the group returns to the quarry the next day in an attempt to figure out what the hell is going on. And it’s at that very moment, that Kimberly’s whole life changes… Cue Trini. Angel Grove’s very own death metal loving, yoga practicing, resident pocket-sized queer. She’s feisty, sarcastic, and knows just how to impress a girl with her climbing up the side of a rock face and then leaping over an enormous cavern skills. Unable to hide her gay, Kimberly stumbles her way through a painfully awkward conversation where she tries to turn on the charm and convince Trini to come with them. And when that doesn’t work, she decides to just bite the bullet make a move (literally) but grabbing hold of Trini, throwing them right over the side of a cliff. And so begins the all too familiar “is it or isn’t it a date” montage. It’s all fun and games, until a gold obsessed villain named Rita shows up and decides to pay a late night visit to Trini. Rita proceeds to rough Trini up as a warning to the rest of the rangers and in the process fully ticks off Kimberly. Out for blood, Kimberly convinces the rest of the rangers to go after Rita. But, like most novice superheroes, the are beyond ill prepared and not only do they get their asses handed to them but the run also results in Billy ( aka the Blue Ranger) getting temporarily killed. After a quick regroup back at the ship for a prep talk and a minor supernatural resurrection, the rangers go after Rita once again, this time sporting brand spanking new suits and prehistoric themed vehicles. An epic battle ensues and in a sudden life and death moment, the light bulb finally clicks for both Trini and Kimberly. They want to be together… No, scratch that. They NEED to be together. And right now. With the burst of extra motivation, Kimberly and Trini lead the charge and help the boys send Rita on a one way trip to deep space and then sneak off to celebrate with one another… again… and again… and again…   Hancock (2008) Again, I know what you’re thinking… Power Rangers is one thing, but Hancock?  Not only is it a mediocre movie at best, it’s not even based off of a pre-existing comic franchise. I whole-heartily agree that Hancock has its fair share of problems. For starters, the main one being the casting of Will Smith as Hancock himself. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love Will Smith. There are roles that are just good fits for him and then there are the other ones–the ones like Hancock. And then there’s Jason Bateman. Jason Bateman always plays one type of character and one type of character only… Michael Bluth. And Michael Bluth should never ever exist within a superhero movie. But, looking beyond its problems, Hancock does have something going for it that most superhero movies, more often than not, tend to severely lack–an original and unique story. Hancock’s plot at its core is an unrequited love story. Two superheroes, who are destined to find one another time and time again regardless of the situation, yet the mere presence of one another is so toxic that being together will eventually lead to their deaths. Sound vaguely familiar? Like something you might’ve seen in real life once or twice? That’s because this plot could also double as a description for roughly 65% of all queer relationships. Who hasn’t had a friend (or ten) break up with the same girl time and time again only to get back together with her a few months later because “they can’t help themselves”? So, given that it’s plot is insanely queer to begin with, imagine if Hancock went something like this… (Sidenote: My photoshop skills are good, but not THAT good. So, every time you see Will Smith, just imagine an amazing actress instead… Like Samira Wiley) Hancock, a rough around the edges queer superhero, is known for two things. Protecting the citizens of greater Los Angeles from a wide array of criminal activity and creating an insane amount of collateral damage while doing so. In short, Hancock has a MAJOR perception problem. But does she care? Chalk it up to years of being dubbed an “outsider” or a superhuman sized chip on her shoulder, but Hancock just doesn’t seem to care what anyone thinks about her. She’s a superhero and that means show up, kick some ass, and save the day. End of story. There’s just no need for anything (or anyone) else. But, then one day, Hancock’s world is turned upside down when she happens to save the life of a lovable but super generic PR specialist named Ray. Beyond grateful, Ray makes it his personal mission, not only to befriend Hancock, but also to help her turn her public image around. New clothes. New attitude. And of course, new social circles. Hancock begrudging goes along with it all, including agreeing to attend a family dinner, where she happens to discover that Ray’s wife Mary looks oddly familiar. And suddenly… BAM! Hancock finds herself inexplicably drawn to Mary. She simply can’t get enough of the woman and needs to be around her 24/7. Mary, though, wants nothing to do with Hancock. She’s not only strangely standoffish, but seems to make up an excuse to leave the room whenever Hancock appears. Dying to win Mary over, Hancock attempts to learn more about her and in the process discovers that Mary, in fact, is a superhero as well. But before Hancock can confront Mary on this unique shared similarity, Mary falls deathly ill and is hospitalized. No one seems to know what the problem is and to make matters worse, Hancock is affected as well, but only when she’s in proximity to Mary. Hancock is pushed to the brink of insanity while trying to unearth what is causing Mary’s illness. Unable to handle her feelings, she goes on a crime-fighting bender and after being hit on the head by a flying piece of debris, suddenly remembers who exactly Mary is. Mary is Hancock’s eternal soulmate and, in a cruel twist of fate, also her ultimate kryptonite. Lifetime after lifetime, they are destined to find one another, only to inadvertently poison each other to death by their mere presence. Not wanting to put Mary through anymore unnecessary pain and suffering, Hancock decides that the only sane and logical thing to do is for her to disappear forever and live out the rest of her life in utter isolation. She goes to see Mary one last time to say her goodbyes, but for she can carry out her plan, Mary stops her. Thanks to modern technology, there’s a way they can be together and yet be apart at all at the same time… So, what do you think?  What other superhero movies do you think would be better if they had just made it gay? http://dlvr.it/PjNdz1

[yellowmarketshopping-blog]

A Kiss To Erase Sadness And Loneliness

A kiss can have uncountable meanings and definitions. A kiss to a mother can define the feeling of love and care. A kiss to a fried can symbolize the emotion of love and togetherness. A kiss to a father can express your confidence in him. A kiss to a patient can symbolize the feeling that you will be cured soon. Every kiss can have a different meaning and feelings.

When I was in school I was a regular subscriber of “Readers Digest”, my elder sister made a habit of sending me yearly subscriptions as my birthday gift every year. I read a very touching story in one of the editions long back. It was a real story by a nurse. The name of the story was “Kiss For Kate”.

A Kiss For Kate

This story was about a old couple in hospital. In some foreign countries they have double rooms for old age patients in few hospitals. Here they have facilities that if one of the person is admitted than the spouse is allowed to stay with him/her to accompany each other. This was a very old couple in the hospital, where the wife was admitted with severe medical problems. The husband also opted to stay with her in the room. The hospital authorities arranged for the attendant’s bed.  

This nurse, who was the author of the story, was appointed to take care of the couple during her duty hours. She was very touched by the couple’s gestures for each other. They both took care of each other a lot. They would talk, play chess and spent quality time with each other. But, one thing which was very beautiful was that the husband kissed his wife Kate every night. And it was only after that she would sleep.

One day, Kate was very serious and she found that the husband was getting very nervous and sad. Suddenly, he got a heart attack and he died. The hospital staff was very worried about his wife as she was not in senses but, then she was not sleeping since the day her husband died.

After trying hard for three days, I realized that she was missing the kiss. I entered the room, caressed her forehead and kissed on just the way she was kissed every night. I could feel tears rolling down her cheeks. She whispered, “Where were you till now? I was afraid”. I just patted her cheeks and left the room.

 Even today, when more than 30 years have passed I couldn’t forget this story. I learned the value of touch that day. A touch can have several meanings. Sometimes “a kiss is a medicine”, to cure sadness and loneliness.

[nishasurana-blog]

A Kiss To Erase Sadness And Loneliness

A kiss can have uncountable meanings and definitions. A kiss to a mother can define the feeling of love and care. A kiss to a fried can symbolize the emotion of love and togetherness. A kiss to a father can express your confidence in him. A kiss to a patient can symbolize the feeling that you will be cured soon. Every kiss can have a different meaning and feelings.

When I was in school I was a regular subscriber of “Readers Digest”, my elder sister made a habit of sending me yearly subscriptions as my birthday gift every year. I read a very touching story in one of the editions long back. It was a real story by a nurse. The name of the story was “Kiss For Kate”.

A Kiss For Kate

This story was about a old couple in hospital. In some foreign countries they have double rooms for old age patients in few hospitals. Here they have facilities that if one of the person is admitted than the spouse is allowed to stay with him/her to accompany each other. This was a very old couple in the hospital, where the wife was admitted with severe medical problems. The husband also opted to stay with her in the room. The hospital authorities arranged for the attendant’s bed.  

This nurse, who was the author of the story, was appointed to take care of the couple during her duty hours. She was very touched by the couple’s gestures for each other. They both took care of each other a lot. They would talk, play chess and spent quality time with each other. But, one thing which was very beautiful was that the husband kissed his wife Kate every night. And it was only after that she would sleep.

One day, Kate was very serious and she found that the husband was getting very nervous and sad. Suddenly, he got a heart attack and he died. The hospital staff was very worried about his wife as she was not in senses but, then she was not sleeping since the day her husband died.

After trying hard for three days, I realized that she was missing the kiss. I entered the room, caressed her forehead and kissed on just the way she was kissed every night. I could feel tears rolling down her cheeks. She whispered, “Where were you till now? I was afraid”. I just patted her cheeks and left the room.

 Even today, when more than 30 years have passed I couldn’t forget this story. I learned the value of touch that day. A touch can have several meanings. Sometimes “a kiss is a medicine”, to cure sadness and loneliness.

[theblueteletubby]

get to know me


I was tagged by the lovely @bleusarcelle, so here I am, a few days late

Five Things In My Bedroom: -books. so many books -the basics(my bed, dresser, a lamp) -my dream catcher got from my sis -flowerpot on my window -glow in the dark stars

Five Things I’ve Always Wanted To Do In My Life: -complete my bucket list -adopt -leave a lasting impact on the world -stop being a mess -become some sort of political figure so I can change and/or implement laws

Five Things That Make Me Happy: -the end of the day when I can hop into my bed and go to sleep -reading while listening to music -rain -when I can successfully talk to a bunch of people without turning into a joke to stop them from realizing I'm the joke -chickens


Five Things On My To-Do List: -lol -I don't have a to-do list -I'm a big mess -probably make a to-do list

Five Things People May Not Know About Me: -I'm ambidextrous -a synesthete(spefically hearing-vision and mirror touch) -I have mild social anxiety, even though it may not seem like it, since I'm "confident and not self-conscious" -when people hate on me, it has no effect. Like, I seriously don't get hurt, even if my family insult me. Idk why. so I'm kinda apathetic? hmm


Name?: Whale Nicknames?:  WC, the worst™, and more recently, MJ Zodiac?: im a cusp. also I'm changing my birthday, so wait a bit lol Sexual Orientation?: ace. side note: my romantic orientation is going under some construction. all I know is that I'm  a bit gay and also demiromantic Ethnicity?: all over tbh Favourite Fruit?: fruit and ora would kill me if I said apples/oranges. so pomegranates Favourite Season?: Spring. Favourite Flower?: frangipanis are the most beautiful flowers I've ever seen. Favourite Scent?: rain and apple blossom trees. One just bloomed near my house, so I'm in heaven. Favourite Animal?: chickens. this should be obvious by now lol Coffee, Tea, or Hot Chocolate?: coffeee. I seriously would die without coffee. hnghhh Cat or dog?:Chickens. Dream Trip?: going on an around the world scavenger hunt, all expense paid. Number of Followers?: idk. It really doesn't matter to me. I haven't been to logistics since I edited my blog a few months back. What do I post about?: i shitpost, scream about my many, many fandoms(mostly voltron, Broadway musicals, miraculous ladybug, a variety of webcomics, dr who, sometimes video games and yoi, a lot of other things) Do I get asks on a regular basis?: nope. I don't really know what anyone would ask me about though? I don't really post my content. I will soon though Favourite Band?: Again, nope. I don't have a favorite band. I do like a multitude of genres though. Aesthetic?: nah. I don't really have an aesthetic. It's my mindset to see beauty in everything, even just a little. Fictional Character I’d Date?: don't really want to date them, but I'd love to be friends with a lot of them. probably pidge from vld, and Connor from dear Evan Hansen Hogwarts House?: I really, really dislike Harry Potter. I read all the books, but in my opinion it's not the best of the best. I don't believe in all its hype. So nope.

Rules: BOLD or star the statements that are true for you!


APPEARANCE: I am 5'7" or taller (i really don't know. Last I checked I was 5'6. So yup, probably) I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair (I cut my hair last summer after it got irritating. It's now chin length.) My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or have had braces

PERSONALITY: I love meeting new people(semi true. Depends on how much social interacting I'd done) People tell me that I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me(borderline altruistic tbh. I would die for some of my really close friends. I'm sure of that.) I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude with people I know well I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it(all the FUCKING TIME. it's like I can't stop, and it sounds so sincere people give me double takes) There is something I would change about my personality (so much)((but at the same time, I know I'm okay))

ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument(I did piano for three months. And flute for a year. Does that count? I'm counting it) I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well(one day I'll post my stuff)(one day) I have a good memory(actually, another interesting fact. I inherited my moms photographic memory. I remember insanely well, at least things I see that are written down. It's been tested and stuff) I’m good at doing math in my head(i really hate math though) I can hold my breath underwater for under a minute I have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling I know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch(im family friends with Muhammad Ali's bodyguard, Shaykh Neelain. He gave a bunch of us a class a couple years back, so that was fun)

HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol(I don't drink) I have scored the winning goal in a sports game I have watched an entire season of a TV show in one sitting(many times. Most recently, 13 reasons why) I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favourite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIPS: I’m in a relationship I have a crush on a celebrity I have a crush on someone I know(hmm, kinda? Idk if it really counts as a crush) I have been in at least 3 relationships I have never been in a relationship I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them I get crushes easily (it's hard for me to tell if I like people in a romantic or platonic sense, so I just let those feelings fester till I can't tell. In that sense, I crush easily) I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for at least a year I have had feelings for a friend(platonic feelings! whoop whoop! hah no)

MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a “best friend”(yeah no. I have good friends, but there's isn't really one person I click with.) I live close at my school My parents are still together(separating, actually. It's really stressful because I can't really talk with anyone about it, so I just keep it to myself.) I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CD’s I share my room with someone

RANDOM SHIT: I have breakdanced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that’s hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages(trilingual, actually. Also, I'm learning Esperanto, so almost quadrilingual) I have made a new friend in the past year

And that's about it folks. Idk why anyone would want to know me better, but there we go. So I'm just going to tag anyone who pops up. If you want to get tagged, then just say I tagged you. Um @meemerd, @substantiallyhygge, @panicking-chemicals, and @auroraangel900

[gordonwilliamsweb]

Society Is Reopening. Prepare To Hunker Down At Home Again.

Even before the May 25 killing of George Floyd in police custody drew large crowds of protesters into the streets of U.S. cities, people were beginning to throng beaches, bars and restaurants. Whether for economic, social or political reasons, our home confinement seems to be ending.

Or is it?

Public health officials warn that a hasty reopening will generate a second wave of COVID-19 infections. That could delay a return to economic and social normalcy ― or even force us back under house arrest ― as long as there’s no reliable therapy or vaccine.

So while it may seem counterintuitive as people finally come out of the woodwork, now is an opportune moment to talk about doubling down on preparations for the duration of the pandemic. Indeed, the conversation is as important as ever, since social distancing has begun to fade, heightening the risk of spreading infection.

“It’s good to be prepared,” says Dr. Alex Chen, chief medical officer of Health Net of California, which insures over 3 million of the state’s residents.

Nobody can be 100% safe from the coronavirus, and the extent of your preparations will depend on your anxiety level, personality and resources.

Everyone should at least follow the standard advice, which in my home ― and, I suspect, in many others — demands frequent reiteration: Wash your hands often for at least 20 seconds. Wipe down commonly used surfaces in the house with disinfectants, especially as people come and go. The Environmental Protection Agency (www.epa.gov) publishes a list of agents that neutralize the COVID-19 virus.

And be sure to have a face mask or other facial covering to wear when you go out.

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If you want to avoid frequent trips outside the house, stock up on food and prepare a kit containing painkillers, fever reducers, allergy and cold medications and a thermometer (if you can find one). Oh, and stop worrying about toilet paper; it has reappeared on many store shelves.

Sangeeta Ahluwalia, a senior health policy researcher at the Santa Monica-based think tank Rand Corp. and a mother of two young girls, keeps an ample supply of food, prescription drugs and over-the-counter medicines on hand, so she can be “as homebound as possible.”

She and her husband have packed bags in case one of them needs to go to the hospital, and she has programmed directions into the GPS systems of their cars.

“I definitely realize I’m not the average person when it comes to this,” Ahluwalia says.

Be Digitally Prepared

As we’ve learned from the first round of the epidemic, digital capability is also essential. The need for reliable Wi-Fi and videoconferencing technology is a no-brainer if you work remotely. It’s important for other reasons, too.

“Everybody should know how to use Zoom or some other video app, so they can talk to their friends. Loneliness makes any of us feel anxious or sad,” says Dr. Bob Kocher, a senior fellow at the Leonard D. Schaeffer Center for Health Policy and Economics at USC and a partner focusing on health care information technology at Venrock, a venture capital firm in Palo Alto, California.

Such technology also comes in handy for conversations with your doctor. (If you don’t have a regular doctor, try to find one.) During the pandemic, many physicians and hospitals are strongly encouraging, and in some cases insisting on, virtual rather than face-to-face visits — at least until they diagnose a problem requiring direct physical treatment.

Most insurers are waiving their enrollees’ out-of-pocket costs for such telehealth visits if they are related to diagnosing COVID-19, and many health plans are waiving cost sharing for all telehealth visits — though some patients are still getting billed for them.

Call your health plan and ask about its policy on paying for telehealth. Many health plans contract with a telehealth company such as Teladoc, Doctor on Demand or MD Live. Keep the contact number or app handy.

With enough information, a doctor can use a digital consultation to prescribe medications, suggest ways to resolve your symptoms without an in-person appointment or determine if you need to come in.

If you are having a virtual visit rather than going to the doctor’s office, your physician might appreciate readings from one of the wearable or other internet-connected devices that track vital signs such as heart rate, blood pressure and blood sugar.

“People know if they are starting to feel bad. The benefit of the wearable technology is you have real data you can describe to your doctor,” says Steve Koenig, vice president of market research for the Consumer Technology Association in Arlington, Virginia.

But buyer (and doctor) beware: Accuracy varies among the different technologies. You can research them at multiple websites, including Tom’s Guide (www.tomsguide.com), Consumer Reports (www.consumerreports.org) and The Wirecutter (www.wirecutter.com).

Many physicians recommend that people at high risk of getting seriously ill from COVID-19 purchase a pulse oximeter, if they can afford it. Pulse oximeters are small electronic devices that typically clip onto a finger to measure your blood oxygen and your heart rate. They have been in high demand and short supply since the discovery that oxygen levels in some COVID-19 patients drop to dangerously low levels before they begin to feel ill.

The cost of these gadgets ranges from under $50 to over $1,000, but as with the apps and wearables, their accuracy may vary widely.

You can read reviews of pulse oximeters and order one online, but it will likely take more than a month to arrive.

“I think it’s better to order it and wait until it comes, because we are going to be in this for the long haul,” says Dr. David Eisenman, a professor at UCLA’s David Geffen School of Medicine and the Fielding School of Public Health.

Another technological tool you might consider is one of the so-called contact tracing apps, with names such as Care19, CovidSafe, Covid Watch and NOVID. Downloaded to smartphones, they record your movements over several days and alert you if you’ve been in proximity to someone who is infected with or has been exposed to the virus — but only if that person also has downloaded the app and reports honestly.

As more people use such apps and share their information, the tools will become more effective, public health experts say. But so far, they have been poorly received in the United States — due in large part to privacy concerns. Google and Apple, which launched an app last month, cited privacy in their decision to withhold key data from public health officials who are trying to track the disease.

Still, some health professionals say the mere existence of these apps is a good start.

“Even a small number of people doing this will be helpful,” says Kocher. “It will help contact tracers from the county or elsewhere if people they contact have downloaded one of these apps.”

This KHN story first published on California Healthline, a service of the California Health Care Foundation.

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