#Don’t blame me deadass came on as I started typing this lmao

[swirlingyouintomypoems]

Kk girlies how we doing? Are we ready for tonight? Bc personally I don’t think I am or ever will be

[realcube]

haikyuu!! characters with a chubby! s/o 💗

characters: tsukishima, oikawa, atsumu, osamu & suna

thank you anon for this cute request 🥺

tw// comfort, fluff, angst if you squint, insecure! reader, swearing, they/them reader but reader wears a dress (in osamu’s)

(a/n): anon requested comfort but i feel bad bc i’m writing this like ‘no, (y/n)! stop being sad! you’re beautiful! 😡’ then i remember that i can just select+delete the pain away💗💖

Kei Tsukishima

let’s not pretend like tsukki gives a fuck what you look like tbh ✋

like nobody is ‘perfect’ and everyone is insecure (to varying degrees) so why would he care about your weight?

nobody ticks every single box to meet society’s definition of ‘beauty’  

plus, tsukki thought beauty standards were stupid away so he created his own - and you meet every single one 💖

in fact, almost everyone meets his beauty standards - besides himself ‘:)

he seriously doesn’t care about your weight tbh, it’s the most trivial thing so why would he care?

although, he wasn’t naïve enough to think that everyone was like-minded

your front of ‘i don’t care about what other people think of me’ was strong enough to fool even the most observant of poeple, including tsukki

however, tsukishima failed to take into consideration that you were his girlfriend, meaning that you could be playing the same game as him; ‘pretend to not care about superficial things like beauty so nobody will think for a second that you are insecure about your body’

he wasn’t one to give compliments but neither were you tbh so the mutual agreement y’all have of ‘let’s call each other names as a form of endearment to avoid those awkward moments were you are looking for the right words for praise but can’t come up with anything’  was fair

but after you accidentally sent him a self-deprecating ‘joke’ message that was clearly meant for a friend, he never passed up the opportunity to compliment you ever again

like he kinda just stared at the message like 😮 ‘does (y/n) seriously care about their weight? why? it doesn’t even matter. how stupid! who told them that the shape of their body is important? bc it’s not..’

then he turns to look in the mirror like ‘wow you srsly need to put on muscle, lanky bitch. or else (y/n) will probably leave you for some built jackass like kuroo. pick up some weights, noodle arms!’

anyway, he’s not too good with words and comfort in situations like these but he’ll probably reply to your text with something out-of-character and surprisingly sweet

to paraphrase (bc the actual text would probably be like a whole damn persuasive essay LMAO he starts with the introduction, makes five points and finishes with a conclusion pfft) , i think it would be something like: ‘hey, (y/n). ik that text was probably meant for one of your friends (but if they’re the ones making you feel bad about your weight then you should probably drop those toxic cunts anyway 💅✨) but i just wanted to say that even though you are the biggest clown i’ve ever met (/j) you’re still v beautiful 💗 stop being insecure or i’ll pass away ⚰💀 ok thx love you bye’

Tōru Oikawa

how are you insecure if you’re dating oikawa? /j

like he is such a hypeman

whenever y’all take pics in your ✨fancy outfits ✨ for formal event, he acts as though you are second most beautiful thing on the face of this earth 😍 (second to him ofc)

but he only does that so he can keep up the reputation he has of being effortlessly confident bc he’s scared that if it slips for even a second, everyone will see how truly insecure he is

truthfully, in his eyes, you come first place by miles (❤ ω ❤)

like srsly, you’re so gorgeous in that dress!! he hopes that you know that he is joking about the whole ‘second place’ thing bc you should be able to tell by the way he looks at you that you’re genuinely the most striking person he’s ever laid his eyes on 

you never acted overly confident in front of him but he definitely didn’t think you were as insecure as you are

he thought you were just..humble :)

sometimes he’d hear you mutter something mean about yourself as you passed the mirror but he paid no mind to it as he figured that you just cared about your appearance and wanted to maintain a certain image

however, once he was made aware that you didn’t want to maintain your image but rather, change it - he never let you murmur anything nasty about yourself under your breath ever again, not without proceeding to tackle you to the ground and shower you with his love, affection & praise 💞💕❤

and he never made a ‘second place’ joke ever again, he started his honesty streak by reassuring you that you’ll always be the number one in his eyes 🤩

also, after that, he was a lot more open about his own insecurities with you and you made sure to respect them and help him in a similar way that he did

there is just so much love and admiration between the two of you and at first you were both to shy to express it but now, you both are showering each other in compliments 24/7 bc you both just want the other one to know how perfect you view them as (❁´◡`❁)

Atsumu Miya

atsumu is a hypeman like oikawa but...better :)

IT’S BC HE HAS NO SHAME

he’ll compliment you on anything you wear and he makes it a point to use the most inappropriate compliment as possible, relative to the outfit you’re wearing

so if you’re wearing your pyjamas, he’ll call you ‘glamourous’

if you are wearing a swimsuit, he’ll call you ‘elegant’

if you’re in your work clothes/school uniform, he’ll call you ‘sexy’

and if you’re in lingerie, he’ll call you ‘adorable’

but it makes you blush so hey, no complaints

so when he finds out that you’re actually insecure about your weight, he’s just like ‘no ❤’

like he hates the idea that when you look in the mirror, you don’t see the god(dess) he sees

like why? it’s the same person

💞 fuck ‘perception’ 💞

💕 ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ TF YOU ARE THE FUCKING BEAUTY💕

grrr he was so mad  

but he was also soft 

he was like ‘if (y/n) insecure? then why hot? then why pretty? then why fit perfectly into my arms?’

plus, THIGHS

he’d never diss a person bc they had small thighs or anything BUT he’d also NEVER complain about being given the chance to be with someone with some good thighs 👍

tbh the best could do to help was compliment you ten times harder to eliMINATE ALL YOUR INSECURIES 

(and ofc i don’t mean that in a way - for example - if you’re insecure about your nose, he’ll fkn chop it off......he won’t chop your nose off LMAO he’ll just show you how much he loves it, to the point where you have no choice but to love it too ( •̀ ω •́ )✧ )

anyway, plz love (or at least, tolerate) yourself or else he’ll suffocate you with all his love and affection :D

Osamu Miya

osamu is at a loss when it comes to typical beauty standards tbh

to him, weight (and most things) are similar to..hand size, for example

just like how you can’t imagine someone feeling self-conscious about the size of their hand (especially if their hand is a healthy size) 

he can’t imagine why some one would be shamed for their weight (especially if they’re a healthy size)

so had no idea you could possibly be insecure about something like that and he probably on realised after a few years in the relationship 😅

there was a formal event coming up and y’all were going as dates so you wanted to shop for outfits together 

as couples do ✌

anyway, he was on a dress site, scrolling away until you pointed out one that you thought was pretty - and it matched the color of the tie osamu bought too!

it was a fair price (for a formal dress 🙄 which is probably like $68/50) so osamu was like ‘buy it then ( •̀ ω •́ )✧’  bc he thought it would so gorgeous on you 

but you were like ‘no’

and after he pried further, you explained how you thought it wouldn’t ‘suit your body type’ 

GRRR HE dislikes IT WHEN PPL SAY THIS SO MUCH BC HOE YOU DON’T HAVE A BODY TYPE YOU’VE GOT A BODY 😡💕 WEAR THE DAMN DRESS IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BEAUTIFUL 

but like deadass it’s not your blood type-  it’s just a thing ppl made up to make ppl (mostly women) feel bad about themselves for no reason

but that might just be his inner atsumu talking 🤷‍♂️

he didn’t even know what to say at first- he was just like ????? body type ????

but once he figured out what you meant, he still had no idea what to say- at least, without sounding rude

what if someone came up to you and told you they were insecure about the shape of their knee.......what do you even say???

so he was silent for like the rest of the day

you decided to give him some space just in case something happened which had upset him

he had no idea what to say, in all honesty, so he hoped that his actions spoke louder than words 

around 3 days had passed since you last spoke to osamu and you were beginning to think something you had said made him uncomfortable

you were studying in your room until there was a ring at your door so you rushed downstairs and you opened it to reveal a package sitting on your doormat

you had recently ordered some cleaning equipment so you were sure that the content of the package was probably that

so imagine your surprise when you tear it open to reveal  — you guessed it —  the dress 💕

Rintarō Suna

when he says that he doesn’t care what ppl look like, he means it

he upkeeps his own appearance though bc..it’s his!

like why would he care about what weight you are? that’s none of his business

as you can tell, he’s generally not shallow but sometimes when y’all are just cuddling and your face is pressed to his chest, the words ‘you’re so cute’ just fall from his lips

so ofc he appreciates compliments over his skills, personality, humour etc over flattery about his appearance 

hence, the praise he gives you is usually based around those things too bc he just thinks that you’re just like him in the fact you don’t appreciate skin-deep comments

so when he found out that you’re actually insecure about your weight (or something else), he kinda blames himself

he thinks that the whole reason you’re not extremely confident in your appearance is all due to him and the fact he fact he maybe didn’t compliment you on your looks enough  — but that’s not to say that he doesn’t think you’re beautiful 

you’re the most radiant person he’s ever laid his eyes on and he thought you knew that regardless of whether he vocalised it or not

he wasn’t really sure what to do tbh

bc he loved you and wanted to comfort you ofc but he was scared of making things worse

like what if something he says accidentally makes you so upset that you break-up with him 😭

but he knew he couldn’t just stay silent about the issue, especially when he wanted to say to much

thus, he sent you a heartfelt message on discord 

(rather than snap, whatsapp etc so he could edit it after he posts it bc knowing him, he’ll probably write something, reread it ten times then as soon as he hits send, he spots a bunch of mistakes)

and he’d explain how you’re simply divine regardless of your insecurity and if anything, it just makes you cuter 😍

ok ok so i really don’t want it so seem like he has a fetish bc HE DOESN’T 

but he think your curves are so fun and pretty ❤ 

like everything about you is pretty but suna just can’t comprehend why you’re insecure about something like your weight when he literally adores it (bc he adores everything about you) 

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 026: Obstacle Course Part 2 (Conclusion)

Previously on BnHA: The kids of class A busted their way through the sports festival obstacle course like the young gods-in-the-making they are. Everyone was like, whoa, these kids are kicking ass. Momo made a gun and I may have cried a little. Some girl from the support course macguyvered her way through with moon shoes and a utility belt. Fucking Deku tore through the entire thing carrying a giant metal plate and just whomping robots left and right and shimmying across the floating islands of Pandora like fucking Spider-Man. He then catapulted himself onto a bunch of mines in a fucking minefield and fucking surfed the resulting explosion and I’m fucking done you guys.

Today on BnHA: Deku nearly commits a murder but it nets him first place. Todoroki spits in the face of continuity. Everyone in class A advances to the second round of the festival. Midnight announces that round 2 will be a cavalry battle. Deku has a target painted on his back because no good deed ever goes unpunished.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 48 now, so any ETAs will reflect that.) 

oh my god look at these huge text boxes. are these all Deku?? this kid is fucking twacked out on something right now I swear

yeah I guess this is Deku’s POV from when he was like “RARRRRRRRR [BOOM]” from before

seriously this kid is out here channeling the Hulk or something

holy shit he actually dug up the mines in order to jump on them??

All Might what have you done. look what you’ve created

more like blasting shounen maniac

also I forgot Kacchan’s arm was frozen and I had to stare at it for a sec before my memory filled in the blanks there

so we’re all in agreement that Deku has actually gone crazy right?

“yup this is intense” totally fucking bananas

Kacchan has such an over the top wtf expression that for a moment I actually thought Deku had hit him in the head on the way down

he didn’t think about the landing. of course not. shounens never think about the landing

well maybe this guy can inadvertently help you out with that somehow

wow look at his face. Deku what have you done

now Todoroki’s making an ice path

by the way, so Todoroki apparently doesn’t need to physically touch whatever it is he’s freezing, then? because here he’s just stomping on the ground and it’s immediately turning to ice, but he’s wearing shoes. I can’t remember if he’s done this before, but I feel like up till now it’s always been his hands

in fact, I just went back and checked his intro in chapter 11 and it specifically said he freezes things with his right hand (left hand is the fire one). so I consider this panel a plot hole unless Horikoshi decides to come along and explain it later

(ETA: not only did they not explain it, they didn’t change it for the anime either. WHAT KIND OF GARBAGE IS THIS. I CAN’T BELIEVE THE ENTIRE SERIES IS RUINED JUST LIKE THAT OMG.)

Deku seems more worried about losing time on his landing than he is about, you know, landing badly and breaking every bone in his body. I guess once you’ve already done that a few times, you kind of become accustomed to it and it’s no big deal anymore

(ETA: let’s not talk any more about Deku not giving a shit about his own broken bones holy shit.)

why do shounen people always take such a long fucking time to fall

lol the other two are rushing past him while he’s slowly drifting into the frame upside-down

grab onto them and use them as your sled dogs!

holy fuck what is he doing lmao

this kid is really out here with his HEEERE’S JOHNNY face deadass about to commit murder live on camera in front of 100,000 people

oh thank god he didn’t actually hit them. though I feel like it wasn’t for lack of trying

he hit the ground again and of course, more land mines

I feel like he ended up murdering them anyway tbh

“WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TEACHING THOSE KIDS ERASER HEAD” lmao sob this chapter is epic

and EH is all “I didn’t even do anything they’re just like this”

Deku actually made it back first! holy shit. and all he had to do was go completely off the deep end and murder two of his classmates to do it

oh my god his mom is watching

I mean, of course she’s watching, but it only just occurred to me. is he actually going to use his quirk here at some point or what? and if he does, just what the hell is she going to make of that?

I hope he comes clean with her afterwards, honestly. I have faith in her ability to keep a secret that would put her child’s life in jeopardy otherwise

(ETA: Deku is a liar and a thief and his poor mom deserves better)

and speaking of that, scrolling back up to the panel above Izumama, there’s this other random guy watching Deku who seems to also recognize him

what’s this about exactly? a year ago would be right around the time of the Sludge Incident. does he remember him from that? or does he somehow know Deku from back in his middle school days?

(ETA: it’s the former, I overthought this)

actually there are a lot of people who went to school with Izuku and specifically knew him to not have a quirk, come to think. what are all of them going to think if he suddenly busts one out here in front of the entire country? I feel like that’s going to seem really fucking suspicious and raise a lot of questions

anyway, moving on here, it seems Tomura is watching too. what a creep

and his hands are gone, just like when he visited the school that day and (presumably) broke in

aww. Deku sought out All Might’s face in the crowd and he’s grinning at him and he looks so proud. he’s crying again sob. and All Might looks fucking ecstatic

now All Might is having an internal monologue about how so many modern heroes are in it for the fame and so they’re selfish, but Deku isn’t like that, and that’s why he chose him. and interestingly he says he thought that quality would be a potential weakness, but he’s happy to be proven wrong

“but you gotta stop crying all the time!” aww, let him be, he’s emotional, there’s nothing wrong with that. I was gonna add “and he’s still a kid”, but that implies that there’s anything wrong with an adult being emotional which isn’t the case either. I know he’s all about the whole “smiling through the pain” thing, but Deku’s not the type to keep his feelings so hidden, and honestly I think that’s also a strength rather than a weakness

people from the business course are discussing Deku’s draft stock now, and speculating on how they would market him

yeah All Might I kind of see what you mean here. it’s all about the PR, and the actual hero stuff has almost been taken out of the equation

there’s a panel explaining how the business course members don’t participate in the sports fest directly and instead they just walk around doing boring business things. I’m not at all interested in this but I am dutifully making a note of it

(ETA: though I would be interested if they did some more shit dealing with sudden fame and celebrity and marketing deals. it’s still ridiculous to me that a country with as huge an idol culture as Japan would not be attempting to do this with at least some of these U.A. kids.)

(ETA 2: finally in the latest chapter I read we at least had someone filming a commercial.)

Kacchan and Todoroki have arrived back at the stadium out of breath as losers. sorry losers

poor Todoroki. IN FRONT OF YOUR FAMOUS DAD AND EVERYTHING

Kacchan’s super pissed but what else is new. is your arm okay bud. also you probably could have blasted your way across that final part of the course similar to how Deku did, but you didn’t. you literally have only yourself to blame

oh wow, Ochako and Iida rounding out the top five! what a pleasant surprise

(ETA: yeah this misconception will be rectified shortly, so I’m leaving it)

Iida’s depressed because being fast is His Whole Thing and he still came in like fifth. honestly I feel like that does hurt him a little more than the rest, because if any heroes out there are on the lookout for a speedster, they’re probably going to be less taken with a guy that didn’t even manage to make the podium in the speed competition. but you still have the rest of the festival, Iida. and if all else fails, you’ll still have two more chances after this

Deku is literally hiding his face because Ochako came right up to him and started talking about how great he was

it was not close, Deku

now he’s saying he got lucky. that was part of it, sure, but dude you were a fucking beast out there. honestly it was scary

Momo made it in sixth! along with this piece of drifting garbage that seems to have gotten stuck to her somehow

I’m sorry you had to see this, everyone. Momo is brilliant, but I feel like she missed a golden opportunity to make another gun or something and solve our Mineta problem for good. they did say no rules, after all. any lawyer worth their salt should be able to work with that

oh wow, I thought Iida and Ochako were fourth and fifth, but apparently that Poison Ivy girl came in fourth! Ibara, huh? I like her a lot

and this Dia de Muertos guy came in fifth!!

MY GOD IIDA, SIXTH?? YOU HAD ONE FUCKING JOB

and Ochako is #16?? EVERYONE, WE’RE GONNA RIOT

class B seems to only have a few standouts, really. thank god tbh. it was hard enough trying to memorize the first twenty kids’ names

(ETA: for a brief moment it looked like this might not be true, but then it was true again lol)

can’t believe Kaminari’s all the way down at #24. what happened?

are there... two invisible kids here?

(ETA: this literally never came up again??!)

and Aoyama barely made it. the cutoff was at #42 for some reason. they could have easily set it at the much more normal number of 40, but they just liked you that much, Aoyama!

Midnight’s about to announce the second event, but she’s dragging it out so damn much and I can’t take it

“Cavalry Battle”! yay! what’s that

Tsuyu says they’re teaming up but imma need more deets

“participants will form, on their own, teams of two to four members each” okay I can already foresee a few problems here

-- and get into a horse and rider formation, oh my god

I LOVE IT

for a brief moment I was like “wow this is really tame compared to the first event.” but then I remembered that they all have powers and will presumably be trying to kill each other and I can see this getting really fucking violent actually

that said! I’m definitely here for it lol

damn she’s still going on. apparently each kid has been assigned a point value based on the results of the previous event. so that means Deku has the highest value I guess. well, he wanted to stand out

TEN MILLION POINTS wow. this seems a bit broken to me

Deku’s face is

pretty good

what kind of fucked up olympics punishes you for doing well though

ten million points, though. damn. and meanwhile that lucky s.o.b. Aoyama is only worth five

and wow, we’ve reached the end of volume three already! well that sure was fun

BONUS:

Mt. Lady again?

she’s ordering takoyaki

she’s trying to get it for free omg

it worked omg

that’s it. that’s the comic

wow

now there’s a second comic that seems almost identical to her first comic from an earlier volume. this accountant guy is complaining that she’s lost them so much money

she can apparently grow from her normal size up to about 67 and a half feet. and that’s it. nothing in between

aside from that slight bit of additional detail, this is literally the exact same comic strip from before. I want those twenty seconds of my life back damn it

[resbang-bookclub]

AMA Transcript: Simple Melody

For our final AMA of Resbang 2017, @alliope, @bbbutterfingers & @daciafu stopped in to answer questions about their Resbang, Simple Melody! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: My first question for Allie is what inspired you to do this AU?

Allie: Well I've generally had the idea for an Over the Garden Wall AU for a while, not necessarily for SE, but as the first check-ins deadline was approaching I ended up rewatching bits of Over the Garden Wall and it just kinda clicked? Mainly I think it came from Crona's betrayal and Beatrice's betrayal and everything fell into place from there. I thought the eerie atmospheres would work well together! So I ended up scrapping my previous idea and wrote 3k plus a summary like three days before the first check-ins, rip.

Q: For butter/dacia, what went into how you decided which scene(s) to art?

butterfingers: HM well there was some chitchat when we started about what kind of work we wanted to do and I said that I loved the Boom comics covers, and then I shouted WHAT IF I MADE  COMIC BOOK COVERS! and I think Dacia went WHAT IF I DID BACKGROUNDS and I guess we just approached it as if we were doing something comic-y haha!

Allie: You two were the power duo.

daciafu: I've always been in love with the style of the backgrounds of OTGW since that's where all those cozy and spooky feelings of fall and the Unknown really shine and I'm honestly HORRIBLE at designing backgrounds so I wanted to take the challenge and push myself to get better! Mimicking other people's styles really helps me break down how they make their choices and teaches me how to make things look Decent so I was super hyped to pick up the OTGW style! And then when Butters and I were trying to figure out What Do and she said she wanted to tackle covers, I decided to do background-heavy scenes. 😊

Q: What is generally your guys’ process (writing for Allie and arting for butters and dacia)?

Allie: Well, I wrote in little scenes, like I would get an idea for a scene and just go for it, the fic wasn't at all coherent until maybe a few days before posting. This actually posed a problem since linking scenes took longer than I thought it would. Because I had most of my scenes written, I thought I had more finished than I really did. By the end of Resbang, I had 56k written but only 20k remotely post-able. I'm a super obsessive planner though, so my whole fic was outlined in detail early on, which was nice cause I knew what I was doing lol

butterfingers: I loved going through Allie's notes, I was always excited to see how they'd connect the dots! My art process is as follows: scribble something, put it aside, look at it a lot throughout the day with the thought that maybe I can surprise myself into seeing something new, find something I hate, fix it, rinse and repeat. For this project I actually... have a friend who works with Boom Comics and she was able to hook me up with a nice little gallery of illustrations for the OTGW comic so I got to go through and put together my mood board for it 😊

daciafu: I read over the gloriousness that was Allie's draft and immediately picked out some neat scenes or wanted to reimagine the classic OTWG ones. I spent a lot of time studying first! Looking at the art books, and poring over the show’s scenes and kind of getting a feel for the color palettes, textures and compositions. Then I watched a tutorial on Youtube where someone just deadass uploaded their painting process on a piece of official art that made it into the show. So that was EXTREMELY helpful to watch the way they painted back-to-front and kind of blended the planes without like, losing depth?? The internet is so, so wonderful. And then I got to work! Started with a soft brush for lineart so it wouldn't be too prevalent, moved onto base colors, then shading, and then really trying to establish textures and make the atmosphere Just Right(tm).

butterfingers: Genius!! Oh damn that sounds like such great advice vis à vis backgrounds. /takes notes

Q: You sound like the dream art partner Allie, I weep for my artists and my last minute HERE IS 10K I JUST TYPED UP BC IM A MESS.

Allie: Ahh geez, these two were the dream partners honestly, like I'm so glad they could gather stuff from my notes, cause I've always got everything together in my head, but then it gets out there and it's a mess, these two deserve all the love.

butterfingers: There was one thing I regret that I didn't have the chance to draw and it was like a throwaway line somewhere in your notes about Maka presenting Soul with a praying mantis and him freaking out. I resonated with that so hard hahaha.

Q: What was the hardest scene for you to write?

Allie: The hardest scene to write that's actually posted was anything with Justin really, I don't get his character and it was tough to write him. There were a few scenes that were hard to write because I rushed them, but I wouldn't say they were genuinely difficult scenes, I just gotta rewrite 'em! But overall the ending scene I'm still struggling to write and there's a dream scene that occurs which has been difficult to write just for making it dream-like enough?

Q: And what was the hardest to art? :o

butterfingers: I had a hard time with Maka's expressions. I had many scribbles designing a Ragnarok lantern, too, but it was very fun!!

Allie: Your design for the Ragnarok lantern was so good, I still cry over it.

butterfingers: Ahaha thank you! He was very Calcifer inspired ;)

daciafu: I struggled quite a bit with the first one I painted, just because it was all so new to me. I had to base color 3 different times because the soft lineart bothered me if something extended too far, or there was white background peeking through. And then reimagining the texture in the leaves and the ground to try to separate the planes there but also wanting them to be cohesive was a bit of a headache. If I had to go back and do that one over again I think I'd be more prepared to deal with the foliage lmao.

butterfingers: Your textures were very excellent, that was a quality I struggled with as well!

daciafu: The first one I painted was the Golden Light scene where Maka and Soul are leaving the woods and entering the fields.

butterfingers: Trees r hard.

Allie: They all came out so incredible though, I'm in awe of how you were able to create those leaves.

daciafu: Omg ;;;;; At the same time trees are so organic and flowy and the chances of getting them wrong are pretty slim considering they can get janked as hell lol they're super fun to just zone out to. "I’ll just put a happy little leaf here, ooh and how’s about another one right next to it. They can be happy friends. Oh look, the squad showed up!!" Channeling my inner Bob Ross... but yeah you can just do whatever with them and they somehow come together.

Q: Daciafu how do u.....background, like you did so well and all I hear from art friends is various levels of pterodactyl screeching when the word background is mentioned.

daciafu: I heavily based the Leafing the Forest scene and the church scene after stills from the show so I don't get composition points there, but I built the pumpkin fields just based off of the environment’s design elements. I really wanted to push the depth of that scene but also give it that same never-ending quality to it, and I'm super happy with the results. Another note is that I omitted the characters entirely while building the backgrounds. Since I'm usually a pretty character-heavy artist, I wanted to tackle it like I was preparing the scene for an animator later. And then once they were done, I added in our sweet kids. Doing it that way first really helped to cement the characters in the space rather than my usual "character is done, how can I put them in an interesting physical space?" struggle lmao.

Q: Did you guys feel like your writing/arting changed at all or that you learned anything/picked up new skills/honed old ones etc. etc. during Resbang?

Allie: Gosh yeah, it changed a lot. In hindsight a bad idea, but this was the first fic I'd ever written with intention of posting and the longest piece I'd ever written. Before this I had written very little and my longest piece was maybe 10k. Throughout Resbang I've learned most of everything from the ground up, it's taught me a lot about my limits, how I work and writing in general. I've definitely improved a lot from the experience!

butterfingers: Let me tell you all about the airbrush tool that I discovered during Resbang. Amazing. Incredible.

daciafu: I learned how to paint backgrounds!!! Which is something I've always wanted to get better at. And I got super comfortable in Clip Studio (I'd just gotten it) as well as using texture brushes, so overall it was a very helpful and wonderful experience as a Resbang participant and as an arteest.

Q: Oh that reminds me butters, what program do you use?

butterfingers: Paint Tool SAI for the most part, and then Photoshop for color correction, borders, and, like, finesse things! :)

Q: Did you guys listen to any music that inspired you or helped you create?

Allie: Ah, yeah! I had a playlist actually! https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLjTCaFkFU6rkD1edJwCZmHvJiUwlSUeGZ

If you want I can explain some bits of it? I use music a lot when writing aha. I like to associate certain songs with characters and character relationships, so most of the songs are connected to a particular part of the story. The Monroe Transfer, Wayfaring Stranger, and Mountains were all more general atmosphere stuff. Blame was very much related to Maka, which may not be apparent now, but yeah. Ragnarok I actually connected a lot with Willow Tree March. Soul was probably closest with A Lady. Crona had a lot of songs, but Neptune was most specific to them, as was probably Ghost Towns. Some character relationships I associated with certain songs, Crona-Ragnarok and Soul-Maka were both pretty connected to Always Gold, especially that dang last line "there were holes in you, the kind that I could not mend" oh man. Crona-Maka was definitely We Could Be Friends, Bloom, and Spell. Meet Me in The Woods I thought was a pretty good group song! Those are just some general bits of my thinking with the music aha.

daciafu: Definitely checked out Allie's dope playlist. For most of my working time, tho, I was either listening to TAZ: Commitment or MBMBaM oddly enough lol. I will forever think of Justin's uproarious laughter whenever I look at them lmao.

Q: Were any of the relationships difficult to characterize?

Allie: Mmm this may sound weird but early Maka-Crona was weird for me, cause they were kinda at that point where they want to (or at least Maka wants to) like each other, but they don’t like or trust each other at all and it's a weird spot for them. I'm used to writing them as at least interested by one another, if not enemies or already fond of one another, so this felt like a very odd place to start with them.

Q: Do you guys have future plans for writing/drawing? Aside from polishing and posting the rest of the fic!

Allie: I have,,, too many plans,, I need less plans,, someone please take them away from me, I can't be trusted with them,,,, I do want to do a sequel for this when I get it finished, playing on the detail about crows memory lasting five years so. Beyond that I have a SoMa fic to finish for the prompt challenge!! I'm working on a gift for Crescentcrona, which is a fantasy Kirona fic called Eat The Rich. I have polyam week fics that I'm cleaning up, I think my favorite so far is a Azusa/Naigus/Sid/Mifune one for Through The Seasons. And God I have so many CroMa fics I want to write, I gotta fill the AO3 tag. I think the biggest one right now is a wings-related soulmates au that I've been working on on the side since October I think?

daciafu: Yo there's one scene that I'm like sUPER hyped to do if Allie does the sequel because I already know exactly how I wanna draw it but I wasn't able to fit that in near the end, and it didn't end up in the first part. But there are a couple of other scenes Allie and I workshopped that would be super fun to do and I would love to draw them. Other than that, my drawing plans are pretty much working on commissions as they come in. Surprisingly my queue has been maxed out and I just got a full time job so of course now I'm like.... hm.... I'll get 'em done eventually!!

----

That’s the end of the AMAs for the 2017 season! Thanks again for reading along with us, and see you next year! :)

[speaknvw]

reputation - album review

insp. by outofthewoods, i’m gonna do a full review of the album during my first time listening to it :) even tho no one’s gonna read this

i’m lowkey comparing it to red because of the amount of people from secret sessions saying it’s better than red and red has been my favorite since well.. 2012

and i’m gonna include my rankings at the end

…READY FOR IT

(i think this only fits as the first track because i don’t see where else it would fit in with the album)

personally only like the chorus of this song but i 100% stan the music video of course and my WIG flew //

END GAME

BITHC DFJSJKFHD i personally love taylor’s parts and i of course love ed’s parts although this is quite a contrast to everything has changed, but nonetheless i love the beat and i love the concept of the song.

“i swear i don’t love drama, it loves me” my WIG MF FLEW MISS SWIFT.

//

I DID SOMETHING BAD

“if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing” OH YES HONEY. THDJSHVJKSDC THIS SONG IS GIVING ME GOOSEBUMPS SIS THE CHORUS HAS ME QUAKING ALL THE WAY TO PLUTO.

THE BEAT DROP DURING THE CHORUS GIVES ME EVEN MORE GOOSEBUMPS EVERYTIME IT PLAYS IF THATS EVEN POSSIBLE DJFSJDK

THIS IS 100% ON MY TOP 5 FOR BOPS. I’D BOP TO THIS EVERYDAY. AND THE BRIDGE EHFSFJEHUKJK

//

DON’T BLAME ME

“don’t blame me love made me crazy” honey… it made all of us crazy

idk for some reason the lyrics remind me of bey? i’m not really sure why

i ADORE HER VOICE IN THIS SONG.

i’m not really sure how i really overall feel about this song but i love the vocals in this song and i feel if i listened more closely to the lyric’s i could stan it more

//

DELICATE

the beginning. omg. imogen vibes??? yes. 

THE MF BEAT HSJKHEUWHERENJWKEK

OMGFDJKFS THE PRE-CHORUS FCUK ME???? DEADASS BYE

ISN’T IT DELICATE

“stay here i don’t wanna share” sdjfsdfhjuhfn i wanna cry because of that

“I PRETEND YOU’RE MINE ALL THE DAMN TIME” THAT’S THR BIGGEST MOOD KFJSKND

this song is def calmer than the rest of these songs

//

LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO

i remember when this dropped and how shook i was

and i remember shaking when the chorus came on bC JDSKFK

I CAN ALREADY TELL THIS IS GONNA HAVE SOME BOMB ASS CHOREO ON TOUR

i can def see why this was chosen to be the first/comeback single because of what the concept of the song is (i mean i think everyone does)

and from this song i was kinda expecting an album about well.. her reputation.. i guess?? but after the other two singles i wasn’t too sure what was coming BUT

NONETHELESS i adore this song and it honestly feels a little short in comparison to the rest

//

SO IT GOES…

in the beginning i was a little iffy about the chorus but i love the verses.

“i make all your grey days clear” “I’m so chill but you make me jealous”

“but I got your heart skipping when i’m gone”

WOW MISS SWIFT REALLY MADE MY WIG FLY WITH THESE LINES. NGL.

but listening to these lyrics help realize how the chorus fits in

side note: when i first saw the track list i honestly thought of you are in love (which is my favorite song from 1989) and the verse where she says “and so it goes, you two are dancing in a snow globe round and round”)

//

GORGEOUS

i love the concept of this song but i don’t know if i LOVE it,, does that make any sense??

and i loved reading people’s posts on twitter/tumblr about their conspiracy theories of this song

and i relate to this song when i see ppl who r beautiful but i’m too much of a pussy to say shit to them

and i wish i knew why she chose this as a single

//

GETAWAY CAR

wow. just wow. THSEJFEHNRJRE THE FUKCJNGJBN BEGINNING OH MYOOGFDI I WANNA CRY

THIS SOBNG IS SO GOOD WOW

“i wanted to leave him, i needed a reason” 

THE FUCKING CHORUS I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT

I LOVE THE VIBES THIS SONG GIVES OFF

THE TYPE OF MUSIC ID LISTEN TO DURING A ROADTRIP TBH?? AND NOT JUST BC OF THE TITLE

but wow i love her voice in this song jsjfnejr it reminds me of something but i can’t put my finger on it

“there were sirens in the beat of your heart” oH MY GOD this line. 

THE BRIDGE WOW IM LITERALLY IN TEARS RIGHR NOW

THINK ABOUT THE WHERE PLACE YOU FIRST MET ME

NO NOTHING GOOD STARTS IN A GETAWAY CAR

//

KING OF MY HEART

i love the beginning fuckfjd<3 though i.. don’t exactly like the beat but i do like the lyrics and i love how she told the ppl at ss how each lyric is a diff stage of her relationship. i love how she did that.

the chorus reminds me of getaway car a bit

change my priorities wow

i don’t know i just don’t really connect w this song but i think some of the lyrics are cute and soft like old taylor :)

//

DANCING WITH OUR HANDS TIED

the piano oh?? THE BEAT OH???

JDSJDFSB THE LYRICS OH MY GOD

“deep blue but you painted me golden / oh and you held me close / ooh how was i to know” HSKJFWEH WOWOWWOOW

I HAD A BAD FEELING

QUEEN TAYLOR IS SHAKING ME

i loved you in spite of deep fears that the world would divide us

i love.

//

DRESS

“they got no idea about me and you” wow you right.. we didn’t have any idea sis :( 

I LOVE HER VOICE IN THE BEGINNING BABY YES TAYLOR

only bought this dress so you could take it off

anyone thinks that they know us but they know nothing about all of this silence and patience panic and anticipation my hands are shaking from holding back from you

I honestly love how this song is about sex lmao

nonetheless i love the beat and feel of this song:)

AND THE BRIDGE TOOK MY BREATH AWAY. i would say wig flew but she took that during the first 3 seconds of end game

//

THIS IS WHY WE CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS

okay the beginning,, i thought it was an ad so imma be honest and say i don’t like the beginning

this song gives me the vibe of we are young by fun., is it just me?? idk but that’s what i thought of during the verses vs the chorus you know??

if only you weren’t so shady,, this is why we can’t have nice things

ALRIGHT I LOVE HOW SHE DEDICATES THAT PART OF THE SONG TO PEOPLE WHERE SHES LIKE:

HERE’S A TOAST TO MY REAL FRIENDS WHO DON’T CARE ABOUT THE HE SAID SHE SAID

AND HERE’S TO MY BAAABYY (i love the way she says baby in this song it’s deadass so adorable) HE AIN’T READING WHAT THEY CALL ME LATELY

AND HERE’S TO MY MAMA HAD TO LISTEN TO ALL THIS DRAMA

AND HERE’S TO YOU BECAUSE FORGIVENESS IS A NICE THING TO DO– HAHAHA I CAN’T EVEN SAY THAT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

I LOVE IT. I STAN. 

this song is so cute tbh

//

CALL IT WHAT YOU WANT

alright alright alright,, the fourth single of rep. probably my favorite single.

i love the contrast from this is why we can’t have nice things

and this song is so cuteeee and i love how she stays calling him her baby,, it’s the cutest thing and makes my heart go [<3<3<3]

and i know i make the same mistakes every time bridges burn i never learn at least i did one thing right lmao that line lowkey broke my heart 

this is the type of song you listen to when you’re in love tbh it’s so cute and the lyrics r like old taylor and i love it

not because he owns me, but because he really knows me

LOVES ME LIKE IM BRAND NEW I adore that lyric

//

NEW YEAR’S DAY

this song is so cute wow. it’s so different from the rest of the album though and i feel like it’d be a deluxe song, but NONETHELESS IM IN LOVE WITH THIS SONG WOW

squeeze my hand three times in the back of the taxi

please don’t ever become a stranger whose laugh i can recognize anywhere

this song is deadass so cute oh my god i love how she shows her soft side in this song

HOLD ON TO THESE MEMORIES

that reminded me of long live oh my god i’m trying not to get emo ab that

CANDLE WAX AND POLAROIDS ON THE HARDWOOD FLOOR - YOU AND ME FOREVERMORE

this is the most og taylor swift song on the album and the type of song that captured my heart all those years ago and wow. i just love it.

//

overall i love this album more than i thought i would because,, well to be quite honest i kind of grew apart 1989 and thought this would just push me away further but it definitely did not. no, it’s not your typical taylor swift cheesy heartbreak songs, but it’s different and that’s what i love about it. is it better than red? once i get more into the lyrics and the concepts behind all of the songs i think i’ll determine my opinion on that.

one thing i really loved about this album is how it’s not just about her heartbreak and the hell and the pain she’s been through with the last relationship she was in (of course there’s that in this album but it’s so much more), it’s also about her well, reputation, and how she feels in her current one. i can tell how happy she is right now and i can already feel her smiles through the songs, the smiles she probably had during the recording of this album.

i love the change of style that came out of the 3 year hiatus

and now here’s my rankings (for now at least)

- getaway car

- i did something bad 

- delicate

- dress

- dancing with our hands tied

- new year’s day

- king of my heart 

- don’t blame me

- end game

- call it what you want

- gorgeous

- ready for it

- this is why we can’t have nice things

- so it goes

- look what you made me do

[purplesurveys]

456

Got any nicknames that you rarely even use? Nah, my one nickname is used a lot. Nevermind what gender you ARE, what gender do you WANT to be? I’m fine being female. Do you ever feel ashamed revealing your age? Not at all, I get happier when I finally get to say it with one more added year. Probably because I’ve always wanted to break out of that long ass period of being a teenager and being overlooked and invalidated and all those rebellious blunder years as well. Working anywhere? No. I’m interning in a PR company starting next Thursday, though! What's your favorite thing to put in your mouth? Japanese or Indian food.

What about the worst? Accidentally-eaten raisins. Have any allergies? Nope. I’m just glad I’m not allergic to any food. One of my closest friends, Kate, is allergic to eggs, chicken, and meat; and a lot more people i know are allergic to seafood and I’m sooooooooooooooooo frustrated for them. Are you confident enough to reveal your height and weight? Sure. I don’t mind being tiny and I never really struggled with weight. What one personal rule you have that you want your surroundings to follow? I hate physical touch as communication. Holding my hand, hugging me too tight, resting your head on my shoulder, suddenly grabbing my arm...unless it’s Gabie, and to an extent Kate (cos she’s naturally touchy) and Angela, I get freaked out inside. When you get muscle soreness, where does it hit you the worst? Shoulders and neck could get pretty bad. What do your parents call you? Anak or ‘Nak, which literally means ‘child’ in Filipino; Robyn, and Byn. When they refer to me in a conversation with my younger siblings, I’m called ‘Ate,’ or the term for elder sisters. Something you just can’t stand no matter what? When someone scrapes their utensils onto their plate way too hard and loud. What’s something that people do that you love? When everyone bands together to help someone when they’re in trouble. Of course this doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s so easy to make me cry just by making me watch videos of this happening. How old were you when you first got to go on the computer? I was 3. My dad had Need for Speed on the computer and I still remember how it came with the legit steering wheel and pedals. If you have a blog, facebook, myspace, etc, how long have you had it for? I think I’ve had this one since 2016. I have another survey blog I got locked out from because I forgot my password, and I had that since 2012 or 2013. If you have a blog or website, advertise here: I’m posting this on my blog itself lmao. What age would you want to get married/did you get married? 27-29. Any lovers at the moment? I have a girlfriend, sure. When was the last time you had a crush on someone? Right now, but more intensely this morning haha. Would you say you're an emotional person? More than average, definitely. Have a kid or want to? Want them. Describe your hair style right now? It’s in a ponytail but I’ve had it on since morning and I’ve been on the couch the whole day so it’s a super messy one right now. A habit a lot of people around you notice you doing is? I don’t know if there’s a habit everyone tends to do, but they all seem to curse, if that’s counts as a habit. Favorite artist? Like...in general? Probably Hozier, he’s one of the best and most genuine artists/songwriters out there. And Hayley Williams. What's a fashion trend you would rather die than follow? Don’t Blame The Kids merch. Got any internet friends you've never met in real life? Yeah, my old internet friends - they all lived either in the US or spread out in Europe so I really could not meet with them ever. Right now, the ones I’ve never met are Aliyah and Gabbie. Do you chat with a lot of people on the computer or only few? It used to be a lot since I was super active in the wrestling fandom before. Nowadays my circle is kept to my high school batchmates and college friends. Your favorite person you know in real life is...? My girlfrienddddddddd. Are you a forgiving person? No. It’s kinda the unofficial personal rule I have with people: I will always give away my trust to anyone from the very beginning and will be patient for a very long time, that to fuck up hard enough to reach the point of having to ask for forgiveness is already like overstaying in my circle or my life in general lmao. What's a color that suits you the best? Black and maroon. For some reason green does too, but I hate green. And a color you just can't pull off/don't want to? Orange, gray, yellow. Based on your running speed, what animal would you be? I’d probably be like a cow hahaha. Got any hobbies? Sure.

Can you read in public? Only if I manage to be alone and end up in a quiet and comfy area in public. The noisiest I can handle is probably a busy coffee shop because at least the noise there is a bit therapeutic. Describe yourself when you were 6 years old? I dunno, really...I was friends with a popular bunch and we even made a dumb 6 year old thing we called the Bratz Club (because they were huge at the time), but there was also huge bitch of a bully not from the group who also always targeted me. I was still a big crybaby, and I threw a huge tantrum one time someone mistakenly told on me when I didn’t do anything, that my mom had to step in lmao. I was still pretty quiet but like I had enough friends and I even spoke on our moving up ceremony, so I think I was doing quite well. Right brained or left brained? I already forgot my psych lessons from two semesters ago, hah. How much sleep do you get usually? 6-7 hours is the average. Do you know your blood type? I don’t. What’s hilarious (and sad) is that I don’t think my parents know either unless they check my birth cert LMAOOOOOO. Whenever I have to fill out forms that ask for it, I ask my mom and she deadass says, “O+ is the most common right? Just write that one down” bye sis if I need a donation and I die that’s on her kksksksksks What's your favorite astrologic sign? I don’t care for and hate all of them. What month do you with you were born and why? April. Presumably because I was conceived somewhere in mid-July 1997, I guess? Have any large dreams you're trying to achieve? Sure.

One thing you would like to change about yourself? My anxiety. One thing you like about yourself? Work ethic. A type of personality you just can’t stand? People who say too many innuendos or are too green-minded. Your personality in one word would be? Uhhhh that’s hard to capture. I guess ‘shy’ is the word. Your appearance in one word would be? Chill.

What’s a talent you'd love to have? Playing the piano. The best prank you've pulled? I hate pranks, whether I’m the pranker or prankee. If I gave you ten dollars right now, what would you do with it? Save it. I’m out of money from drinking in two upscale bars last night lol. What if it was a million dollars? Probs get myself a nice dinner. A person or a thing you truly love from your heart? Girlfriend. A wish you have? More money. Pokemon, Digimon, GI JOE, Barbies or other? Pokemon. City type of person or country? Definitely the city. As good as the food is and as clean as the air is in the province, I don’t think I’ll last. Plus I was never raised in the province so I would miss the city life too much.

Ever take polls on the net? Yeah sometimes I’d take the ones I’d come across just for funsies or because I’m genuinely interested about the results. Any word that you love? Poignant. I thought it meant something nice and ~elegant at first; had no clue it was supposed to mean something super bittersweet. What's something you're obsessed about right now? Mukbang ASMR videos. If you had a typing battle, do you think you'd win? I think I would hahaha. Several semesters of rapid note-taking in college will serve me well. Favorite type of candy? Peanut butter cups, if they count. How often do you clean your ears? Every other day. Brag about something! I got a 2.00 in a class I genuinely thought I’d fail in. 2 isn’t a great grade at all but that class was SO AWFUL that I was dying of anxiety just to get a 3 this whole time. My instructor released the grades last night while I was at a club and I bawled when I found out. Something you find unhealthy about yourself? I eat so unhealthily and have no healthy habits AT ALL other than constantly drinking water. I don’t wash my face, never watch what I eat, never exercised a day in my life, all that neglectful jazz. Words of wisdom? I’m not really in a thoughtful mood rn to spontaneously think of advice. Are usually the one talking or listening to others? Listening. I hate having to be in the spotlight longer. Your reaction if someone told you you look 10 years older than your age? Honestly I’d be really flattered because I’ve looked 10 years younger my whole life. To say that I look 10 years older will just balance it out to mean that I look my exact age hahahahahaha Any favorite numbers? I don’t have lucky numbers but whenever I have to pick ones, I always say 4 or 23. Any weak spots? ???? Like in bed? Lmao my neck but I hope I understood this correctly. Do you really badly want anything right now? Money. Savings. But also iced coffee :( How much money would you say you have saved up? I literally have no money in my wallet and I can take a photo right now to show that I have absolutely no bills left. I get really irresponsible with money when I get a little tipsy and I got three Long Island Iced Teas last night :/ the last glass I bought when I found out my grade in that pain-in-the-ass class I talked about earlier, so it was technically an impulse celebratory purchase. Anything from your past you just want to forget about? So many events, my friend. So many events. What does it take to earn respect from you? None. I give everyone respect and trust from the very beginning, because that’s what they deserve. But the thing is I can very much take it away when it’s disrespected or abused. Where were you born? Somewhere in stinky Manila. How many people do you live with? 4. How do you cheer yourself up? Depends. It’s a different formula each time. What's something that makes you really stressed out? Internship. Have any particular standard you look for in a significant other? No. I’m a demi, so I’ll end up being attracted to someone because of who they are. I used to have standards but they were so limiting, so I just got rid of those. Ever had a friend that was someone completely opposite to you? Gabie. Ez. We couldn’t be any more different. Are you any good at science? I’m good in biology in particular and I’m okay in physics, but I hate chemistry.  Highlight of the day? Waking up to Gab because she slept over last night. Do you go on any forums on the net? Does Reddit count? What do you think of your voice? It’s okay. It’s not super annoying for me. A smiley face you use a lot? Just the classic :) Do you use msn-lingo? Not since 2011 at the latest haha. Got any secrets you honestly can't say to anyone? This blog. Well except for my sister who stays as the only person I know who knows about this, but other than that I wanna keep this as a secret safe space forever. Best horror movie? Oh wow I haven’t seen anything new in a while. It’s still a four-way between Scream, Cabin in the Woods, The Shining, and Carrie. Believe in voo doo? No. Think anything lives forever eternally? Uh maybe jellyfish? Tacos or Burritos? Burrito. I never liked tacos. The most annoying question on these surveys? Maybe the ones that didn’t use apostrophes when the questions needed them. Whats something you do when you're dead bored? Watch videos. Ever made a survey? Nah. What do you think of people who speak their mind? Brave. But they should also be careful to not be too comfortable about being blunt that they wind up an asshole. How do you act to people around you crying? I stop what I’m doing and listen to them, if they want to talk. What's something you've tried really hard at? Passing that bitch of a class I’ve mentioned for the third time in this survey. How do you say good byes? I just say a ‘bye,’ but if it’s a harder goodbye then I usually avoid the situation, because I cry easily.

[grahamfr]

all bitch ur doing it idc

Send “✆” for a MORNING text.

LAST MORNING TEXT SENT: FEBRUARY 14TH 2017

[ 8:03 AM ] graham: good morning baby, i have the best day planned for us. do you .. mind .. skipping class with me today? mom bought us the day to take a cab ride to NYC and we can come back before the next day starts. um also, check your bed today i left you something to think about while i’m waiting for you to come down and come with me to New York :p

Send “” for a text that WASN’T SENT.

[ 8:09 PM ] graham: watching you smile with the others really makes me happy, as long as your happy that’s all that matters right? look at that beautiful smile, remember when i used to make you laugh like that? it really hurts sometimes to think that maybe you hate me, do you hate me? do you hate me for not telling you that i fucked up and shouldn’t have picked our sm life over us? do you hate me for distancing myself? maybe i should just say it, maybe i should just FUCKING tell you but i can’t. i’ve waited for so long and now the words just die on my lips. why should i bring up the past? do you still care about me, jagiya? do you still love me? please still love me, i’m really sorry for being the worst boyfriend. i promised you, we lied together and i promised you we’d be together forever but we’re fighting. you’re my best friend, you’re my first love and i’m so sorry i ruined it. maybe you’re better off without me you know? you won’t have to worry about me fucking up again, it’s better off this way tbh. i think you’ll be happy. ( NOT DELIVERED ! )

Send “☎” for a RUSHED text.

[ 6:09 PM ] graham: GET MILK !!!!!

Send “⁇” for a DRUNK text.

[ 10:08 PM ] graham: jaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagiya ( NOT DELIVERED ! ) [ 10:08 PM ] graham: my bab y grl ( NOT DELIVERED ! ) [ 10:08 PM ] graham: i m lonely cm e five me haug ( NOT DELIVERED ! ) 

Send “✿” for a SUGGESTIVE text.

[ 3:11 PM ] graham: maybe you shouldn’t keep popping in with ur bs in the gc if u wanna fucking talk about the past come to me i’m literally in the same house as you why are you and kaia the same

Send “ø” for a LATE NIGHT text.

LAST LATE NIGHT SENT: DECEMBER 13TH 2016

[ 12:01 AM ] graham: if i have to take this orgo chem class final you can take your english final, you’re not gonna die omg[ 12:01 AM ] graham: baby you know i would take it for you if i  grew hair longer than what i have now and had model looks but i look .. like graham choi unfortunate i know 

LAST LATE NIGHT SENT: MARCH 27TH 2017

[ 10:00 PM ] graham: i’m doing homework, what do you want?

Send “✘” for a HATEFUL text.

[ 7:08 PM ] graham: i;m not the fucking devil, stop seeing me that way. just because everyone can’t be up and front with what they’re thinking, doesn’t mean they’re the devil. and you shouldn’t be talking about keeping shit in, don’t shift the blame to me. 

Send “#” for a RANDOM text.

[ 2:08 PM ] graham: did jade just slip running to the water LMAO [ 2:09 PM ] graham: oh shit this isn’t the group chat   

Send “@” for a SCARED text.

LAST SCARED TEXT SENT: APRIL 29TH 2017

[ 9:05 PM ] graham: i made a mistake please come back to me. i don’t know how i’m gonna be able to go to class without seeing you with my coffee every morning, without holding your hand sitting behind you. who else to give me kisses when we’re alone? you’re my other half please take me back.   ( NOT DELIVERED ! )

Send “&” for a LOVING text.

LAST LOVING TEXT SENT: UNKNOWN

[ 11:30 AM ] graham: your friend kaia is so interesting sometimes, you know today she came up to me to find our more stuff i know about the stuff she’s interested in? she’s also extremely hyper sometimes, is she okay? is there something going on in her head? does she have too much coffee? lol, anyways baby get this i got two tickets to disney this summer and my parents said you’re the second one i can take. we’re gonna go ride rides together, meet minnie and mickey. we can buy mr. and mrs. shirts because it’ll come in handy i promise lol. i’m deadass gonna marry you one day, the only ring that’s going on that finger is gonna be from me. i love you so damn much sometimes i feel like my chest is about to burst, how is it possible that someone can make someone feel this way? is this humanly possible? like what the fuck are you doing to me, jagiya? baby, i’m so in love with you. i can’t wait for you to come out of class so i can kiss you. shit i gotta go my teachers coming

Send “%” for a CURIOUS text.

[ 10:45 PM ] graham: would we be engaged by now if it wasnt for our stupid life online?

Send “ツ” for an EXCITED text.

[ 2:09 PM ] graham: there was this really cute fucking couple on the boardwalk today and it made me so excited to take you one day [ 2:09 PM ] graham:this was meant for jude i’m sorry  

Send “$” for an ACCIDENTAL text.

[ 7:15 AM ] graham: she hates me lmao there’s no point of asking, she even moves from the dinner table if we’re sat together it’s fucking heartbreaking[ 7:30 PM ] graham: nina, nina hates me so much .. so heartbreaking ouch ouch !  

Send “♀” for a HEARTBREAKING text.

SAVED IN NOTES, NEVER SENT

[ 4:13 AM ] graham: you know i used to dream about us coming here together alone, like not just hawaii alone but like just you and me and somewhere tropical. with just us, falling asleep and waking up as late as want to. kissing you from head to toe, holding you until i just feel you slip out but i guess you really did slip. i really let you go like that huh? i really fucked it up, so why is it that i fucked up and i’m the one hurting so much, i let you GO so why do i fucking care? why do i just want to got to you and just ask for you back, i want to. believe me i really want to go come back and tell you why i did what i did. i just feel so stupid and embarrassed that i couldn’t see that my girlfriend was hurting because of what i wanted. i never asked her what she wanted but you never TOLD me what you wanted, you didn’t tell me that it wasn’t your lifestyle. why don’t you talk to me? why don’t we talk, why didn’t we talk actually. you think if we talked it out we woulda been back to square one? with your arms around mine, actually being happy and not acting like there’s my ex girlfriend walking by and pretending i don’t exist. is it easier for you if you do? why did we fucking decide to do the thing, didn’t we have school to worry about? what was going through our minds to decide yeah let’s go on instagram and showcase our lives to thousands of people who have nothing else to do than criticize or love us.  i wanna take it back. if i was granted one wish in my life, it would be to take back what went wrong. oh graham ur so stupid stop typing this at 4 in the morning you’re never gonna fucking send it asshole to be continued if i ever have the courage to say this to her one day