#Dont even have an good pasta thing i feel i want to cook regularly

[mrfoox]

Losing weight :)

Losing weight bc of bad eating habits :(

[fakeloveaskblog]

(I for one appreciate the long answers! And also…) Remy. Hey, it's alright. First off, maybe talk to Remus? He's sorta your friend now, right? Maybe tell him you notice he's always tense and ask him what's wrong?

And uh. How do I say this, uh. For the therapy to help, you have to let it help. And trust me I know how that sounds, but the gist of it is: you have to be willing to heal. Willing to work on your self-esteem, to at least try and believe that you can get better, at the very least emotionally wise. You also have to try and take your pain meds regularly on schedule besides doing the exercises your therapist gives you, and slowly work to internalize the fact that you are not a burden.

Your basic needs and aspirations and physical disability should not and would not be a burden on a partner who valued you as a person as much as you deserve to be valued. Which is, at least as much as any other human being deserving of care and love and respect should be valued. You deserve to have your basic physical and emotional needs met no matter how those differ from your partners in regards to your health, and to not be seen as a burden nor treated as such because you are not a burden!

(U!Virgil)

Remy: "Gal you gotta have 2 brains or something 'cause you're like tots smart and like right. But like I swear I am willing to heal. I am trying! I’m trying and nothing is changing! I dunno. I don’t think my self esteem is like bad or anything. Like everything I dislike about myself is true. I’m just seeing the truth. Like everyone around me agrees with it. I just know it! I know Jan and Rem and everyone else agrees. My boyfriend agrees! Whenever i say something about myself that isn’t true he like comforts me but like now I’ve moved past all that stuff and the only things left are true things”

They slumped back against the couch and let out a shaky sigh “I just don’t get why I’m still feeling this way. I mean I’m safe, I got a good boyfriend, I got friends, I’m safe. Shouldn’t some of the healing just like come naturally?”

“Look I made sauce with the pasta and it barely burned. I am such a good cook ain’t I” Virgil said sarcastically. He’d come into the living room with 2 plates. He set them down on the table when he saw them typing on their phone “Who are you talking to?”

“It’s nothing”

He held out his hand “Can I read it?”

“Babe it’s like genuinly nothing imp-”

“Can I read it?” He repeated. His tone turned harsh for just a moment.

They rolled their eyes before giving him it. Virgil skimmed through the message before letting up into a chuckle.

“Oh this is stupid. Beanie you already got an actual therapist you don’t need some amateur armchair psychology from someone who doesn’t even know you”

“I know. It was just like nothing. Like I said!”

Virgil deleted your message without telling them. He sat down next to them and playfully poked his finger into their ribs. His lips were close to their jawline.

“You don’t really feel like a burden do you? It’s not true”

Remy scoffed “You told me I was like 2 weeks ago” 

“I don’t remember saying that. You must have mixed up memories of someone else saying it to you. We both know how scrambled you are up there”

“Right yeah sure gal” They didn’t believe him. They chose to think he regretted saying it and was trying to make them forget it to make up for it. He’d said it during an argument anyway. Just like most of the other times. So it didn’t really count.

“And even if I did hypothetically say it I would probably have a good reason to. It’s not exactly hard to find reasons to call you a burden”

Their throat tightened “I know”

“Good” He littered quick kisses from their jaw up to their cheek while moving his arms around their waist. They pushed what he’d said to the back of their mind and smiled. It was always easier to do so when he gave them a reason to smile.

“You should shave. You’re tickling me” They giggled out.

He cupped their cheeks “There’s my laughy RemRem. And you will not stop my beard. Soon enough it will make me powerful enough to summon spirits”

They snorted “Babe I am not calling that collection of hair a beard”

He kissed them on the lips “Not yet....not yet”

“Pff. In your wet dreams hun. Aight the pastas gonna get cold”

“Not to sound vulgar but....OOF. You’re eating that poisonous waste first” 

“Sure. Girl congrats you’re finally gonna be able to fullfill your full Geard Gay fantasy at my funeral” 

Later that evening, after Virgil had cuddled up to them like a cat and fallen asleep, Remy was looking around on their phone after your message. They must have accidentally deleted it. They opened their notes app, you didn’t seem to follow human logic so they assumed you could read whatever they wrote on their phone.

“sorry gal. could you like remind me tomorrow to ask remus about the tensing up thing? please? i dont want to forget about doing it. i hadnt like thought about asking before. fuck im a bad friend”

[veganbased]

day 2

breakfast- a complicated smoothie as mentioned in a previous post where I literally had to rant it. why not to my jeff? ol besti jeff. thats some meat I def miss. video chat yoga was fun. but im so confused... god I love that tumblr is like a hollow little blue void I get to chatter into where no one listens but it doesn't feel like as private as a notebook like what are the odds “someone I know” comes across this shit. who do I really even know anymore besides coworkers haha.. I used to know a lot of people. but my behavior changed that haha! anyways... those are my breakfast thoughts (I just smoked a bowl) 

lumch- that was a typo I enjoyed. which reminds me is something my old friends would find funny. the typos. do I miss those people or do I miss their attention? anyways..... lumch, sweet potato fries. starchy agh. AND PLANT RANCH

dinner- grabbed a box of mac n cheese whole grain noodles bc i figured that was okay, and cooked em with some garlic and onion pasta sauce. I was proud of myself for keeping my hands off the parm bottle whoo that was my favorite. it was okay. idk if it affected my blood sugar too bad.. which is something I recently have been getting paranoid about......... just paranoia though. and im doing something about it so its not like im just gonna keep doing the things im doing to give me this lil hypchondria moment. I’ve had a lot of those in my life btw. to the point of making people take me to the hospital bc I was positive I was dying of something but id also like to mention I smoke way too much weed than my little brain wants to handle sometimes. 

snack- lots and lots of my favorite complex carbohydrate! cheerios, and oat milk ofc. the vegan thing is proving to be shockingly easy but like my incessant need to keep my mouth occupies is not diminishing haha. I wonder what kind of activity I need to be doing to like.. diminish this mouth, tongue, taste fixation I think I have like I dont need to fill my body with more food I literally just want to bring something to my mouth... hmm...

water- obviously the answer why didnt I think that before. lemon water is interesting for my mouth too I could experiment with that. If I have to work around an obvious emotional soothing problem I just need to modify what im using to soothe. weed is a hard one though. because its a substance that changes my perspective immensely like things are just accentuated with weed, the good the bad, mostly good tbh haha, and going without something I used consistently throughout adolescence to sort of navigate my life at that time is.. huge. I dont wanna say “hard” bc thats putting up a block, and in a way increasing the size of it might be a block as well but in a way, I want to take it as what it is, and metaphorically thats a huge ass mountain. which is the most satisfying to climb. so I can either keep accounting for all the details of what it looks like down here on the side of the mountain and adapting to this lower level living or I can fucking climb the mountain. and if anyone reads this, I hope its spirit, not only bc I just remembered I want to connect more, but because that was a badass metaphor and I feel like it might have come from them. but anyways. this blog is becoming much more cathartic and releasing that I initially anticipated, I like this. but also I am high. so things are likable. oh, ive been drinking a bit today, had about 5 big classes which is about 9 or 10 cups. not bad id say. my peeing has been concerning me- but I think im just dehydrated from not drinking water as regularly as I need to. bc the pisses are about 40- mins to and hr about when my bladder is tight and full and i can feel it full yknow? but right now after I just did my just dance, its been like almost 2 hours since a piss so idk. they were pretty frequent the day before. I wish I knew what that meant, what my body was telling me exactly. 

okay so I spiffed up my organization of this part which im cheesed about. 

mental, emotional, physical state- I was doing separate sections but they were interloping so much it was like what. im so tired rn my speech is about to be so lazy im ready to just brush my teeth and wash my face and go night night, which is not something ive been doing consistently, even though its something I want to do! my nails are so brittle they're catching on everything and bleeding. never getting acrylics again. my complexion looks really good, no new breakouts, no redness, my chin is clearing. my thoughts and awareness and plans, are not lining up with my actions, and.. yeah thats my state. I was anxious today about possibly having prediabetes but I have to reminds myself something like that is completely reversible, if that is whats happening to me. im a filthy mess, my rooms a mess, im digesting a bunch of starch but hey! the heats on! winky’s sleeping cozy, I am still cute as fuck in my filthy state, I still havent eaten any dairy or meat, I’m alive, I have money, I have a cozy bed, and I have the privilege to make independent decisions about my life and my future, and i am incredibly thankful for every bit of it. 

[thegypsyadventures-blog]

trying to be a healthier version of myself

since moving to Korea, i have started working out regularly. Monday shoulders, tuesday legs, wednesday back, thursday biceps and triceps, friday shoulders and occasionally ill add in leg day on friday since i never make it to the gym saturdays (im lazy ok). all followed by 45 mins cardio with 20 mins intervals. On top of that, i’ve cut my drinking down alot and try to eat better. 

Heres some things I *try* to stick to to be happier and healthier:

- challenge yourself. i like participating in facebook group challenges or 30 day challenges to get myself doing new things and to get on a routine.

- carbs in the morning before workout

- sub pasta for spaghetti squash or zoodles whenever possible

- limit alcohol intake, virtually no soda, only water and tea and black coffee

- no food after 8pm ( drunk nights this is 100% out the window)

- portion control. make the plate mostly veggies

- almond milk only and limited cheese in my diet

- do not skip meals. your body will go into starvation mode and store fat cells. eat healthy and often to improve metabolism.

- 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar, warm water and little bit of organic maple syrup or honey for taste first thing in the morning.

- exfoliate once a week. i usually do fridays after the gym. my mindset is im exfoliating off the busy week and getting fresh faced for the weekend.

- keep a clean house. its good for the soul. i have scheduled days to clean the litter box, take the trash out regularly, light candles and tart warmers, have glade or airwick plug ins. 

- MOVE. take the stairs. if its not freezing or raining or snowing, walk. even on days im really not feeling cardio, ill do 30 mins. 

- cheat meals are fine as long as its just that, A CHEAT MEAL. today i had a catfish sandwich and mac and cheese after the gym because i wanted it. tomorrow, i will do my full workout and then some. 

- cook fresh. cook healthy. if it can be microwaved or came out of a box, its probably not good for you. 

- get out and explore. make friends. have fun. life is short, enjoy it.

- dont be on the internet so much. this is something i struggle with especially with all my family and 99.9% of my friends on the other side of the world. but when i get in bed i do not check my phone in the middle of the night or anything. im still working on this one ok lol

- make lists and get shit done.

Just felt like sharing some of these things with idk my 4 followers and whoever might stumble upon this. I am not health guru nor am i the epitomy of health but i try. 

[xuxi99]

All the things i was tagged in~

in order to not spam my blog with all the things i was tagged in i’ll make a one big post, so i wont annoy my followerstdfrhg 

also, i’ll tag people at the very end of this, sorry in advance if you already did one of these tags :)

Let’s Bold It Tag

tagged by @antaresw thank you 💕💕

APPEARANCE: I am 5’7’’ or taller I wear glasses I have at least one tattoo I have at least one piercing I have blonde hair I have brown eyes I have short hair My abs are at least somewhat defined I have or had braces There is something I would change about the way I look

PERSONALITY: My Hogwarts House is: Gryffindor / Hufflepuff / Ravenclaw / Slytherin I am an introvert I like meeting new people People tell me I’m funny Helping others with their problems is a big priority for me I enjoy physical challenges I enjoy mental challenges I’m playfully rude to people that I’m close to I started saying something ironically and now I can’t stop saying it There is something I would change about my personality

ABILITY: I can sing well I can play an instrument I can do over 30 pushups without stopping I’m a fast runner I can draw well (when I really try) I have a good memory I’m good at doing math in my head I can hold my breath underwater for over a minute I have beaten at least two people in arm wrestling I know how to cook three meals from scratch I know how to throw a proper punch

HOBBIES: I enjoy playing sports I’m on a sports team at my school or somewhere else I’m in an orchestra or choir at my school or somewhere else I have learned a new song in the past week I work out at least once a week I’ve gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months I have drawn something in the past month I enjoy writing Fandoms are my number one priority I do or have done martial arts

EXPERIENCES: I have had my first kiss I have had alcohol I have scored the winning goal in a game I have watched an entire season of a tv show in one sitting I have been at an overnight event I have been in a taxi I have been in the hospital or ER in the past year I have beaten a video game in one day I have visited another country I have been to one of my favorite band’s concerts

RELATIONSHIP: I’m in a relationship I have a celebrity crush I have a crush on someone I know I have been in at least three relationships I have asked someone out or admitted my feelings for them I get crushes easily I have had a crush on someone for over a year I have been in a relationship for over a year I have had feelings for a friend

MY LIFE: I have at least one person I consider a best friend I live close to my school My parents are still together I have at least one sibling I live in the United States There is snow right now where I live I have hung out with a friend from school in the past month I have a smartphone I have at least 15 CDs I share my room with someone

RANDOM: I have break danced I know a person named Jamie I have had a teacher with a last name that is hard to pronounce I have dyed my hair I’m listening to one song on repeat right now I have punched someone in the past week I know someone who has gone to jail I have broken a bone I have eaten a waffle today I know what I want to do with my life I speak at least 2 languages fluently I have made a friend in the past year

FIVE THINGS TAG (?)

Rules: Have to tag 15 people at the end of this 

tagged by @miinct and @kristinanix00 thank you! 💗💗

Five things you’ll find in my bag:

 lots of tissues 

a bottle of water

pink totoro power bank 

earphones

my wallet

Five things you’ll find in my bedroom

a guitar 

my laptop

cups and mugs all over my desk

cat toys

johnten bag i hanged on my wall lol

Five things I’ve always wanted to do:

go to nct s concert 

visit my friends from other countries 

go to a cat cafe

volunteer at an animal shelter  

buy my mom a big housedgfdsgfxcv

Five things that make me happy:

my cats, friends, family

drawing

doing things im supposed to do

buying things for my family and cats

knowing that i did everything i could to help others

Five things I’m currently into:

nct

manga/manhwa (👉F O O L S👈)

drawing

saving money for nct s merchandise 

editing videos

Five things on my to-do list:

buy for my cats bigger cat tree

buy for my cats two baskets

buy ncts latest album

drawing more regularly

to not take everything for granted and enjoy my time with my family as much as i can

92 questions

tagged by @l-etaeyong thank you!!💞💞

RULES: YOU MUST ANSWER THESE 92 STATEMENTS AND TAG 20 PEOPLE

LAST

1. Drink: milk

2. Phone call: my sister

3. Text message: rejecting a job offer

4. Song you listened to: the strokes- last nite 

5. Time you cried: two weeks ago, maybe?

6. Dated someone twice: no

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes

8. Been cheated on: no

9. Lost someone special: yes

10. Been depressed: yes

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nope

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: purple, blue, peach

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: yes

16. Fallen out of love: yes

17. Laughed until you cried: yes

18. Found out someone was talking about you: no

19. Met someone who changed you: no

20. Found out who your friends are: ..yes

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: yes

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: 99%

23. Do you have any pets: yes, two cats

24. Do you want to change your name: no, i got used to it and many people told me how pretty it is :)

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: bought my cats a lot of toys lol

26. What time did you wake up: 5/6 am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: i was sleepingtyfghd

28. Name something you can’t wait for: moving out of my house 

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: an hour ago

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: my poor decisions 

31. What are you listening right now: grizzly bear - two weeeks

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: no

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: people ignoring me when i need do to something important and i need their help

34. Most visited Website: mangago fdgnhgdfxv

35. Elementary: graduated 

36. High School: graduated

37. College: :)

38. Haircolor: brown

39. Long or short hair: in between 

40. Do you have a crush on someone: no

41. What do you like about yourself: my lips

42. Piercings: none

43. Bloodtype: A

44. Nickname: zuza

45. Relationship status: single

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favorite TV Show: nct life tydjtrdytgr

49. Tattoos: none, but im planning to get one soon

50. Right or left: left handed

51. Surgery: adenoidectomy

52. Piercing: none

53. Sport: ??dytfghtdrgf

55. Vacation: my house tdyfhg

56. Pair of trainers: converse

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: everything that has pasta in it

58. Drinking: water, tea

59. I’m about to: check mangago for any updates tydhftdg

61. Waiting for: a miracle to happen 

62. Want: money

63. Get married: nope

64. Career: i dont even know at this point dygfhfdg

WHICH IS BETTER

65. Hugs or kisses: kisses 

66. Lips or eyes: eyes

67. Shorter or taller: taller

68. Older or younger: older

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms 

71. Sensitive or loud: both are good ytdfgd

72. Hook up or relationship: relationship

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

74. Kissed a stranger: no

75. Drank hard liquor: nope

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: no

77. Turned someone down: yes

78. Sex in the first date: nope

79. Broken someones heart: dont think so

80. Had your heart broken: yes

81. Been arrested: no, im a good kid

82. Cried when someone died: yes

83. Fallen for a friend: yes

84. Yourself: me?

85. Miracles: i try to believe 

86. Love at first sight: more like a crush tefddrgsf

87. Santa Claus: until i was 6

88. Kiss in the first date: no

89. Angels: chenle

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: ariadna

91. Eyecolor: brown mixed with green

92. Favorite movie: theres so many, cant choose etrghrtdgf

i hope you got to know me better through these tags :)

i tag @johntenismyotp @yutasneko @gghateblog @mashiington @minteacakes @dreamlnadream @backisshinee and @1aeyeon !!

dont feel obligated to do it if you dont want to!!

[thecuddlerr]

Oh Look...a wall of text.

1: Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Open

2: Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?

No but I do use them if I don't have my own lol

3: Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?

Outttt

4: Have you ever stolen a street sign before?

I have not

5: Do you like to use post-it notes?

Meh not really

6: Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?

Lol this reminds me I had a coupon in my car for months that I just found yesterday while cleaning so yeah

7: Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?

BEAR no matter how it turns it I think it would be a cool story lol

8: Do you have freckles?

Nope

9: Do you always smile for pictures?

Nah

10: What is your biggest pet peeve?

When ppl tell me to do things I'm already doing

11: Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

Yeah sometimes especially when I'm walking up stairs

14: Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?

Nah

15: Do you chew your pens and pencils?

Ew no

16: How many people have you slept with this week?

This WEEK? lol none..???

17: What size is your bed?

Queen

18: What is your Song of the week?

Lightning by secret band I can't wait to hear more from them

19: Is it okay for guys to wear pink?

Sure ??

20: Do you still watch cartoons?

I was just watching gravity falls earlier lol

21: Whats your least favorite movie?

Idk? There's a lot

22: Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?

By my dad's house maybe

23: What do you drink with dinner?

Usually water or green tea

24: What do you dip a chicken nugget in?

Sauce ? Bbq mostly

25: What is your favorite food?

Pasta I'm always messing around with different recipes when I cook

26: What movies could you watch over and over and still love?

A star is born. Baby driver. Scott pilgrim? Nick&norahs infinite playlist.. Anything with a good soundtrack

28: Were you ever a boy/girl scout?

Noo

29: Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?

Nope

30: When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?

Last year I think?? I wrote a letter to a friend but lost it before I could send it lolol

31: Can you change the oil on a car?

I can do lots of things on a car lmao

32: Ever gotten a speeding ticket?

Oh god..yes 🙄

33: Ever ran out of gas?

Multiple times yes

34: Favorite kind of sandwich?

Grilled cheese 👀

35: Best thing to eat for breakfast?

Egg

36: What is your usual bedtime?

10p-3a lol

37: Are you lazy?

Sometimes I guess..

38: When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?

Batman? There was a year I dressed up as some kind of native warrior or whatever like when I was five but everyone thought I was pocahontas lmaoo

39: What is your Chinese astrological sign?

Doggo

40: How many languages can you speak?

1

41: Do you have any magazine subscriptions?

Nope

42: Which are better legos or lincoln logs?

Wtf are Lincoln logs

43: Are you stubborn?

Ye

44: Who is better...Leno or Letterman?

Neither ?

45: Ever watch soap operas?

Nah

46: Are you afraid of heights?

Yep

47: Do you sing in the car?

All the timeeee

48: Do you sing in the shower?

If I'm home alone hah

49: Do you dance in the car?

If the songs dancy👀

50: Ever used a gun?

Yeah

51: Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?

Uhh 3 years ago?

52: Do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes and I love them

53: Is Christmas stressful?

Not at all? Just lonely for me hah..

54: Ever eat a pierogi?

Dont even know what that is

55: Favorite type of fruit pie?

Cherry I guess

56: Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?

I wanted to be a firefighter when I was smol

57: Do you believe in ghosts?

Yeah I do

58: Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?

A lot but not as much recently

59: Take a vitamin daily?

Not anymore

60: Wear slippers?

No

61: Wear a bath robe?

Nope

62: What do you wear to bed?

Bed clothes...?

63: First concert?

Uh 2009 I think I saw system of a down

64: Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?

T-t-t-t-TARGET

65: Nike or Adidas?

Adidas

66: Cheetos Or Fritos?

Cheeeetos

67: Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

Sunflower

68: Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?

No

69: Ever take dance lessons?

Nope

70: Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?

Hmmm..... acting 👀

71: Can you curl your tongue?

In one way or another maybe

72: Ever won a spelling bee?

I don't think so

73: Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

Yessss

74: Own any record albums?

Like vinyl? I have a few

75: Own a record player?

I do but it's old as h*ck so I dont use it

76: Regularly burn incense?

I used to lol

77: Ever been in love?

A few times

78: Who would you like to see in concert?

The 1975 😭😭

79: What was the last concert you saw?

Dance gavin dance at swanfest

80: Hot tea or cold tea?

Hot

81: Tea or coffee?

Tea>>>

82: Sugar or snickerdoodles?

Wut?

83: Can you swim well?

I cant swim at all lmaoo

84: Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?

Maybe ?

85: Are you patient?

Yeah sure

86: DJ or band, at a wedding?

Both!

87: Ever won a contest?

Yeah I won some weird things at some point

88: Ever have plastic surgery?

No

89: Which are better black or green olives?

I like both so idk

90: Can you knit or crochet?

I wish I did

91: Best room for a fireplace?

Yes

92: Do you want to get married?

At some point yeah

93: If married, how long have you been married?

95: Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?

Lol no

96: Do you have kids?

Maybe 👀👀👀 ....jk no

97: Do you want kids?

Probably

98: Whats your favorite color?

Blueeee

99: Do you miss anyone right now?

Yes of course like all the time

Wow I didn't think I'd do them all so quick quick..oop 😶

[themoneybuff-blog]

The Balance Between Novelty and Stability - and How That Affects Your Dollars and Cents

Recently, I had a face-to-face conversation with a reader (yep, this happens every once in a while; I have a few readers in my local community that Im not close friends with, but they recognize me and seem to always have some sort of question or topic to bring up in conversation) about the idea of having everyday meals for the family, something I mention often as a frugal strategy. For those unclear, an everyday meal is just a meal that Sarah or I can prepare quickly and easily on any given weeknight that our family really likes. You might call it a staple meal or a regular meal. For us, those meals include things like spaghetti with tomato sauce, scrambled eggs and pancakes, chili, and tuna casserole. Both Sarah and I can whip those things out in a jiffy without even a second thought; the recipes are internalized and efficient. This reader was pretty pointed: dont meals like that get boring? My gut instinct was to tell the reader no without really thinking about it, but instead I said, Hmm Ill give that some thought, and suggested a post on the topic might appear soon. Over the next few weeks, I had some conversations with my family about the topic in a roundabout way. I mostly just asked for meal suggestions and asked what meals they liked the best. Our three children were all pretty specific on what meals they liked the best. My youngest loves any sort of pasta and cheese combination if it has pasta and cheese, hes in. My middle child loves taco night above all else. My oldest loves chili and enchiladas above all else. Interestingly, if I have them pick a meal that they think all three of them will like, theyll pick pizza, whether its homemade or picked up somewhere. My wife listed a litany of meals she really likes. I asked them what they thought about trying different meals and the children were all okay with it as long as their favorites remained in regular rotation and I avoided certain specific foods. My wife is more on board with trying new things, but she also still wanted a few favorites in rotation. They all said that they like to try variations on the familiar dishes, like trying a chili variant or experimenting with a pizza, than something radically different. It turns out that Im probably the most adventurous and experimental eater in my family, but even I enjoy our everyday meals. I actually like varying them a little and trying new angles on the same old things (like experimenting with cheeses for the mac and cheese) and, when I have time, making things as from scratch as possible, like making fresh pasta for pasta night or making from-scratch bread or making my own vegetable stock (just soaking vegetable scraps in the slow cooker). This realization, along with some Google searching, led me to this interesting article on Food52 by Amanda Hesser entitled Im the Food Expert, But My Kids Love My Husbands Cooking. Her experience falls right in line with my own: Her family is fine with experimentation, but they end up putting a lot of value on regular repeated family meals. Theyd rather have daddys pasta (rotelle pasta wagon wheels with a simple sauce) than something unusual or complex, and she often would, too: Im an unabashed homebody. A comforting home and stability are things I have an almost desperate need to maintain. And yet, even when I have a home that feels comforting and right, Im always itching to iterate and improve the physical spaceto paint a wall, rearrange the furniture, recover the chairs. The same thing happens in my kitchen. I may love being in the kitchen and cooking for family, but I clearly cant help myself from exploring some new taste, technique, or idea. This urge for newness and evolution worked for me for many years. When I was a full-time writer, whose job was to constantly discover and write about whats next, it was like feeding candy to my pathology. Now that I have kids, though, to whom I feel an intense responsibility to nurture a sense of security not to mention, to establish family traditions my searching ways floundered. The night after the podcast interview, while joking about it over dinner, I asked the kids what dishes of mine they liked. They paused and looked at each other. It was difficult for them to conjure up anything specific. Kids rarely need to be direct for their message to be loud and clear. If I wanted them to remember my cooking, I had to slow down, I had to repeat, I had to make food that they could count on. Like their daddy did with pasta. Over the past few years, Ive done just this. Ive stuck with dishes, and I keep a folder of recipes we like to go back to again and again Robertas garlic dressing, porchetta, and Thai steak salad. This made me think quite a bit about my own change in food habits during my life. When I was growing up, my family definitely had regular meals that we repeated with frequency. Im sure, looking back, that those meals were fairly convenient for my parents to make and that doing so had become, with practice, quite easy for them. There was another factor going on, though: it provided a touchstone of shared experience. There were certain dishes that we would have frequently that I would love to smell coming in the door, not just because they were delicious, but because they made me feel things like family and safety and comfort. When I reached adulthood, that feeling basically went away unless I was visiting family. I either viewed food simply as forgettable fuel or I purely chased novelty by eating at a wide variety of expensive restaurants or preparing really fancy things at home on occasion, like a $30 grilled steak. For all of the expensive meals I ate in my twenties, none of them filled me with the sense of familiarity and comfort that my mothers humble tuna casserole would make me feel, or the smell of a fried egg cooked in just a bit of butter with a lot of black pepper on it. Those things made me feel something beyond mere food they made me feel safe and loved and comfortable. An expensive meal might be delicious, but its usually a one-shot thing simply because of the financial constraints of 99.9% of Americans. Thus, it can never create those feelings of home like humble dishes eaten frequently with loved ones can create. Theres a clip at the end of the movie Ratatouille where the hardened food critic Anton Ego takes a bit of a dish prepared by the humble hero Remy. The dish is the titular ratatouille, a pretty humble dish thats basically just a casserole of sliced vegetables, and Ego initially turns up his nose at it. But when he takes a bite well, watch for yourself: [embedded content] What does this hardened critic think of when he tries the dish? His mind doesnt consider flavors or texture. Rather, he flashes back to his grandmothers kitchen when he was a child. He has feelings of peace and love and comfort and family. Those feelings dont exist the first time you try a dish or even the third or fifth or tenth. Rather, they come from a body of positive experiences over time, and they can be triggered by the most humble of things. You dont need an expensive restaurant meal to feel those feelings; in fact, youll almost never feel that way unless youre a regular at a family-owned restaurant. On the other hand, you can get that feeling from something as simple as an egg fried in a bit of butter with a bit of black pepper on it. Were really talking here about two different values that are at least somewhat in opposition to each other. Novelty comes when you try a new experience. Youre interacting with new people. Youre trying a new meal. Youre going to a new store. Youre going to a new place. Those are enjoyable experiences our brains like novelty. Yet, at the same time, novel experiences dont last. They dont scratch the same itch that familiar experiences do. Stability, on the other hand, comes when you enjoy a familiar experience of some kind. Youre enjoying time with family or close friends. Youre eating a family favorite meal. Youre hanging out at a familiar haunt. Those are also enjoyable experiences and familiarity breeds enjoyment. Such experiences fulfill us in a completely different way than novelty does. Whats really interesting to note here is that novelty is typically more expensive than familiarity. New products come with a price premium. They require additional travel because youre familiar with the things in your area. Restaurants you havent tried before are often the expensive ones because youve already tried all of the regularly priced ones. This is not to say novelty is always more expensive than stability, but that its frequently the case. What does all of this mean in terms of our finances, then? First of all, its easier to be frugal if you have an appreciation for familiar experiences. If you hold familiar experiences in disdain or if your life history has made it difficult to build up familiar experiences, its hard to find appeal in them and youre going to inherently seek novelty. Remember, the psychological benefit of novelty is much easier to enjoy than the psychological benefit of stability and familiarity. Novelty can be experienced at pretty much any moment; stability and familiarity take time and a history of positive similar experiences. So, in a practical sense, there is a great deal of frugal value in finding simple experiences you like and repeating them (or close variations on them) until the familiarity brings additional joy. For example, Ive come to love sitting in the soft brown chair in our house with several windows nearby and just reading a book. It is an experience I indulge in often and I get a great amount of joy out of that experience, not just because it feels good, but because it inherently reminds me of the many moments when it felt good in the past. It feels comforting to sit there with a book in my hand. I feel it when Im playing a familiar board game with close friends, where we all know the rules and we all feel comfortable with each other. I feel it when Im making a pot of chili or a homemade pizza for my family and then we gather around the table and eat it together and talk about our day. I feel that warm stability in many experiences in my life, and Ive come to intentionally notice it and value it. Those types of experiences, because of their repetition, almost have to be very inexpensive or free out of necessity. If there was a significant cost in such a repeated experience, it would cause a great deal of financial damage, which brings me to my second point. Constantly chasing novel experiences is hard on the wallet. If I want to eat at a new restaurant every night, thats going to cost a lot of money over time. If I want to simply have something new for dinner every night, the cost of all of those different ingredients is going to add up (not to mention the time invested in constantly jumping from culinary technique to culinary technique without mastering any of them). If I want to read the latest books constantly, Im going to have to buy them, and popping $15 to $20 for a new hardcover once or twice a week adds up fast. If I want to play the latest board games constantly, I have to routinely spend $30 to $40. If I want to watch the latest movies constantly, I have to routinely spend $10 or $15 at the theater (Id probably buy a movie pass, but it still adds up). You get the idea. A constant stream of novel experiences is expensive. Theres an even bigger problem A costly novel experience that you start to repeat until it takes on some aspects of familiarity is a road to financial disaster. Lets say you go to a coffee shop and its a wonderful novel experience. You decide to go again and again and again. Slowly, it starts to become a familiar and stable experience. You feel a certain comfort in that routine. The problem is that the routine is expensive and engaging in it with frequency is like acid on your budget. Another element Ive personally noticed is that most of the really valuable stable experiences I have in my life things like familiar family dinners, familiar experiences with friends, and so on are incredibly inexpensive ones. The family dinners that are really successful on all cylinders are ones where were gathered around the table with people we love and who love us, eating a food we all enjoy and basking in the afterglow of many such dinners before us that have built a certain bond. You can get some of that while chasing novelty at the latest restaurant, but you miss some of it, too, and youre also hammering your wallet. None of this is to say that novelty doesnt have value. It does have tremendous value. Many of the joys of life are held in new experiences. Yet there are many elements of life that novelty cant bring to the table and cultivating stability often provides those elements. If you take one message home from all of this, its that novelty is fine, but theres a tremendous financial value in appreciating the positive stable experiences in life. Find the small things you actually enjoy (not things that merely pass time), whether theyre shared experiences or solo experiences, and fill your life with them. Repeat them, so that they take on a sense of familiarity and stability. Vary them, so that they dont become boring, either you wouldnt read the same book over and over or watch the same television show over and over, but you might consistently read in your favorite chair or watch a new episode of a beloved program while cuddling with your partner. Dont abandon novelty that would make life dull but dont overlook or abandon the many values of stability and what it can bring, too. Enjoy that simple comfort food with family. Enjoy that comfortable chair and a book from the library from your favorite author. Theres incredible value to be found in that kind of stability and it wont erode your finances. Good luck. Related Articles: https://www.thesimpledollar.com/the-balance-between-novelty-and-stability-and-how-that-affects-your-dollars-and-cents/