#EATING THIS UP HELL YEAHHHHHHH

[musicalsiphonophore]

siph listens to the sex was good until it wasn’t: my initial responses

me waiting until 11.40 to listen to a xana album? fret not, it’s not voluntary, i just needed to not be overexcited before my biology exam!

Lip Service: the opening had me worried for a moment, but HOOOLY SHIT THE SECOND HALF. I must listen to this one more time, I can’t help myself. I DONT KNOW WHO YOURE TRYINNGGGGGG TO BEEEEEE AHAHAHHAHAHAH IM ALMOST IN TEARS THIS IS SO GOOD

the sex was good!: i don’t like the instrumentals but her voice is- oh nvm i do like the instrumentals. oh nvm i don’t. this is beautiful in any case. HEY WAIT SHE POSTED THIS ON INSTAGRAM!!! I love the chorus!!! and the finale again!!!! xana knows how to end a song omg

Better Kind Of Best Friend: fucking magnificent as we know. loves me and she shows it fucks me and reloads it hell yeahhhhhhh 🎵 it was so iconic of her to release this single on valentine’s day btw

Homewrecking Era: THAT FUCKING TRANSITION WAS SO CLEAN. oh my god. I love this song. I love this song. Let me live inside this song please let me live inside the bit that goes “right bout now i wonder if she knows” i want to live in that part of music please

monster: i dont love it. i know i dont love it. it makes an excellent contrast next to home wrecking era though, it sounds better in context yk. a few lyrics on it are really… oof!! (shoot my meanest words like arrows, i make damn sure they echo)

Sick Joke: fucking yes. fucking yes. yes. “I only miss it a little and I don’t wish you very well, you only loved me in riddles but you still loved me I could tell”, the instrumentals in that part are lovely. i love the instrumentals in all of it actually.

15: this is so upsetting. my goodness me. it’s so sad. oh my goodness. “still smiled at my mother, what she don’t know won’t hurt her” oh my goodness poor small xana :(. the way she sings “i cant live like this forever”. ohhhh.

Lavender Daughter: ooooh this openin is a great start. oooooh this song is sad too. oh no. i’m so sad ddddddddd helppppp. this album is so sad. help. “FUCK YOUR REMORSE HOPE IT ONLY GETS BIGGER” 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

FERAL: hmmm hmmm excellent start! oooohghhhhh “maybe” that scratches my brain. i love this. i love this. i looooove this song it’s SO GOOD. aaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA. oooooh the bridge. i love the bridge. i want to eat the bridge.

BODY: so upbeat! uncharacteristically upbeat!! I like it!! Well, do I? I don’t like it massively, but I do like it. Okay, no, I don’t really like it. I see the appeal, maybe it’ll be better when I relisten it a few times. I like the guitars.

The Kicker: this is decent. eh. i again don’t like it all that much. I like the line “there’s a lake at the bottom of our river”. I’m not sure what it means but it speaks to me somehow. I quite like the ending of it I guess.

earth eyes: I like that this is something different. It’s only an interlude really. It is very good.

Alibi: pretty guitar opening. I have been expecting it to build up and it has not done that. I think I’ll appreciate this more on relistenings as well. It is pretty like a glass ornament is pretty, and reminds me somewhat of the blue room interlude which I adore.

4ever: awful start. this verse has no melody to it. Not A Fan. Oh never mind I do love this chorus!!! This chorus is lovely!!! Ooooh this second verse is a lot better too!! Okay, I can do this song. It’s not my favourite by any means but I accept it.

January: starts bad and thinly textured and boring, but as it builds up I’m starting to enjoy it a lot. By like 2:20 I’m enjoying it. Oh no it texture-thinned again. Alas. I feel about this one the way I feel about 19; too long, and it’s at the end of the album anyway so I almost want to not bother with it. Sorryyyy. I like the very ending though.

In Conclusion.

my favs are Lip Service, Homewrecking Era, 15, Better Kind Of Best Friend.

This album is the most emotionally destructive and personal creation, it is quite devastating. Especially 15 and Lavender Daughter.

A lot of the songs start very slow so I think I don’t like them, then they build up to a beautiful climax and fade out with just xana singing the same line repeatedly, alone, heartwrenchingly emotionally - I don’t like that lack of variety, I want more different structures and interludes and neat transitions going on. Especially since I’m not a fan of the slow fade in.

I also wish babyblue made it on, though I understand it doesn’t fit the vibes or the themes, as it is one of my favourite xana songs.

It started really strong for me, but after 15 or so, it got … not so strong.

[atinylittlepain]

I spent my Sunday eating tacos and watching star wars and finishing my Mandalorian puzzle. Then I took an unplanned 4 hour nap and will now be awake all night.

I've seen so many people recently, myself included sometimes, saying that they beat themselves up for not doing something "productive."

But I feel the best I have in months after today, and I'm really fired up for my general being alive responsibilities and creative pursuits this week!

Here's my finished puzzle!

Happy Sunday Gin 💚

Hell yeahhhhhhh this sounds like a great use of a Sunday - I’ll admit I too have indulged in pleasures of the flesh (lil afternoon nap)

I totally get what you’re saying about the productivity thing as an anal-retentive shivering little dog of a human (reformed, or trying to be) - but we need those days of rest, I hate to admit it lol, and I’m still learning this lesson myself 🥲

That’s a rad looking puzzle btw, happyyyyyyy Sunday Ang 💕💕

[ruthlesslistener]

(Hopefully mobile won’t eat this ask)

My friend is playing HK for the first time and I’ve been noticing yet more things I didn’t see in the two playthroughs I did. The comment from Lemm about how the statue is the only record of the Hollow Knight stuck out to me, because at first I was like “what the hell, that’s so sad”, but like… there’s not much that could be said about them that wouldn’t reveal how messed up the whole plan was or be an outright fabrication. (Also the design of the statue— they’re on a pedestal shaped like PK’s crown, and beneath that it looks like a huge flower, which you could say represents the White Lady but idk)

There’s this quote from the Seer that I saw going through my hundreds of screenshots that stuck out to me: “Hold something in your mind and it lives on with you, but forget it and you seal it away forever. That is the only death that matters.” Obviously this applies to the Radiance, and that’s probably the primary if not only intention, but I immediately thought about the previously mentioned statue (which is interesting too because there are no PK statues in the City of Tears (that I can think of)). As well as the White Palace, and how despite most of it being clearly a dream version of the real thing, certain significant areas seem to be retained as they were in life.

Like even if no one really knew them, PK really tried to make sure THK wouldn’t be forgotten about, even if everything else fell apart, and this got really long but dang I have a lot of thoughts about this game. (Sorry if this isn’t the most eloquently worded.)

YEAHHHHHHH THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I THINK THE STATUE IS SUPPOSED TO BE. It's supposed to be a memory of someone who was supposed to be forgotten! Because even though it would have been better for the Pure Vessel to just fade away from memory, and for the Radiance to die with them, PK just...couldn't do that. He grew to love them, and couldn't bear the thought of them fading away. Lots of people hate it or think that its some cruel form of mockery, but I think it was PK's fatherly affection manifesting in the only way he could show it after sentencing them to die- by making sure that even if they went unknown by everyone around them, the magnitude of their sacrifice would not be forgotten. Them and the dreamers, of course, but the dreamers are sort of secondary to Hollow being the centerpiece, so they're not really what he was going for there

I also think that the 'only death that matters' thing refers to how the gods work in Hallownest, because that seems to be the method PK was using to kill the Radiance, and the method that he tried to use on himself after the kingdom fell. A god will only die when they are damned to fade into obscurity, so putting up a monument to a god's child is kind of a really really major thing to do, even if the people themselves don't know of Hollow's divinity

[roxybefab]

Dating Bill Cipher Includes;

At first he freaks out, he’s never experienced these kind of emotions and has no idea how to act

Eventually he just does things in the heat of the moment and he realizes he has a small liking to you, which just so happens to not be platonic in any way

At first, expect strange gifts from him

Like some wolves molars or the heart of a Multibear

But eventually he starts giving you a few more ‘normal’ things

As in, chocolates or flowers

He doesn’t understand what the hell gets humans so excited about sugary treats or plants that die two days later

But he only does it to make you happy

He also happens to sneak into your dreams.

A lot

Now, Bill tries his best not to be possessive of you but it’s hard for him when he’s never felt these emotions

He acts really yandere like and gets jealous easily, only hurting those that you’re fine with him hurting

You have a tight leash on who he hurts and make sure that he never kills them, usually telling him to only scare them to leave you alone

He gets carried away and carves stuff on them

Or breaks a couple of bones

Surprisingly, the guy is really insecure

If you don’t remind him that you love him at least four times in a day, he gets angry

Which then results in you getting angry

Which ends up in an argument

You always win, however

Since he knows you love him and he’s just over dramatic

If you call him a dorito he gets really annoyed and snaps back

“Hey, Dorito!”

“Hey, Meat sack!”

Yeahhhhhhh,

You stopped calling him that

He lets you wear his top hat, claiming that it looks good on you

Did I mention makeovers?

You put mascara and eye liner on his eye before putting some orange eye shadow

You mostly do it when he sleeps though

It annoys him so much when he gets summoned and the creature laughs at him or thinks he’s a joke

You better hide or he’ll be giving you nightmares for months

You think his human form is pretty cute and convince him to spend time with you at the mall to make other girls jealous

It works

If only they knew he was a dream demon

He thinks it’s worth it because he can eat with a mouth and not his eye, which looks pretty weird to him

“Wow! It’s human soda!”

You need to stop him from drinking too much soda because his body won’t be able to resist all the sugar

He’s also possessing your body multiple times, especially when on your period or some guy is being a creep

Unlike Dipper, he doesn’t push you out of your own body

In other words, he simply lets you stay in your body but is controlling it for you

You comunícate with him through your mind when he’s possessing your body

Anyways, if by any chance you’re in public and want to spill your thoughts or opinions to someone, you speak to him through your mind as well

There have been times, however, where someone stares at you as you stare off into space

People think you’re crazy but you honestly don’t care

Official Masterlist

Other Masterlist

[sarohara]

You both like friends.

You: heyo

Stranger: hey

You: wanna hear a really cool song?

Stranger: sure

You: hold up

You: name or link?

Stranger: name

You: okay

You: young the giant mind over matter

Stranger: okay hold up

You: take your time

Stranger: Damm he is getting into it

You: Yea right? ahah

Stranger: Yeah lmao

Stranger: lmk im prolly gonna regret this but let me use my best pick up line on you😂

Stranger: lmao

You: Go ahead 😂

Stranger: nah nvm I'm bouta say some dumb shit

You: I don't mind 😂

Stranger: wtf nah that shit is cheesy asf

Stranger: like cheesy cheesy

You: Cmon

You: I mean, it's up to u

Stranger: fuck im really gonna regret this alot

Stranger: okay okay game face on

You: 😂

You: you don't even know me, why would u regret it? ahahah

Stranger: Damm you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet

Stranger: bc it me I regret alot of things and now I'm regretting this shit rn

Stranger: fuck why do I gotta be so dumb

You: 20 letters of the alphabet? why?😂

Stranger: oh shit I'm dumb there's 26 letters how can I forget about u,r,a,q,t

You: AHAHAHAHAH

Stranger: See that shit is cheesy

You: I was gonna ask "what about the other 6?"

Stranger: Lmao found the other 6

Stranger: wait there is 27 u can get the d later😂😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Stranger: okay imma prolly go kill myself now

You: that's it? 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: I'm so so sorry u have to hear my dumbass

You: AHAHAHAHAHAH

You: You're freaking hilarious

Stranger: I hate my self now

Stranger: I'm so cheesy wtf

You: AHAHAHA

You: Stooop

Stranger: I'm never listening to tik tok ever again😂😭

You: AHAHAHA TIK TOK REALLY? 😂

You: I'm dying

Stranger: Okay no what I'm boerd and that app is okay

Stranger: and no o don't post i just scroll through

Stranger: i

You: Yea dw, I do the same😂

Stranger: Lmao im still so sorry u had to hear that

Stranger: Yo boi is running on like 2 brain cells rn

You: hey, shut up, it was cool 😂 I mean, you're funny

You: ahahahahahhaha

Stranger: funny who tf is funny everyone keeps on talking about funny but I still don't know who that mf is

Stranger: I wanna meet that dude he is obviously famous

Stranger: or her I don't really know yet

You: Who's obviously famous?

Stranger: that guy named funny

You: and well, it's funny just because it's not funny

You: AHAHHAHAHA OH MY GAWD

Stranger: yk its funny bc im dumb

Stranger: told you those 2 brain cells are kicking in

You: well, at least that made me laugh so..

Stranger: Fuck yeahhhhhhh

Stranger: look mom i did something finally

You: AHAHHAHAHA

Stranger: oh wait she is gone

You: Would she be proud?

You: ooooh

Stranger: She went to the grocery store 2 hours ago

Stranger: so we will find out when she gets back

Stranger: she will prolly still hate me but yk what thays cool

Stranger: thats

You: what mother doesn't hate her kid, right?

You: you're not alone trust me ahahaha

Stranger: Haha facts tho

You: what's ur name btw? lmao

Stranger: yk she told me that I was a mistake and yk what I'm not I won that race me I won

Stranger: all those other kids aren't here are they they are the mistakes

You: Wait, seriously?

You: I was kidding but maybe i was a mistake as well

Stranger: yes I won something and ik thats hard to belive but I did I did not get a trophy when I should have

You: ahahahhahahahahahah You won that race, you did it!

Stranger: wait they did give me trophy

You: I don't think so

Stranger: ur my trophy so I can finally show my trophy off okay that was bad I promise that was the last one

Stranger: Omg I'm going to hell

Stranger: why do I think of this shit

You: I wasn't expecting but 😂😂😂😂

Stranger: that sounded so much better in my head then I typed it out I was like wtf are you doing like are you fr fr bouta send that

You: You're fine 😂😂

Stranger: Okay I give you promise to shoot me if you would like

Stranger: I get i totally get it

Stranger: promision holly fuck my phone won't let me type

Stranger: Your like wtf he is dumb he obviously did not pass the second grade

Stranger: well jokes on you I am in the second grade

You: I'm dying actually, you're stupidly funny😂😂😂😂

You: Are u always like that?

Stranger: sadly yes do I want to be no

Stranger: God was like lets make this kid dumb asf and say cheesy things to ppl

Stranger: and I'm good at it

You: at least you're good at something, isn't awesome?😂😂😂

Stranger: obviously did you not read my pickup line like bro master piece

You: you know, you seem like that kinda person who gets embarrassed easily 😂

Stranger: Like God told me to use that pickup line on everyone so i did the only person that did not seem to care or even talk to me was the light poll outside my house

Stranger: Idk imma get it to talk to me one day

You: the light poll outside your house 😂

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: I've been trying for years can't seem to crack it yet

Stranger: I'm telling u one day its going to talk to me

You: I don't think u should do this but if u need me i'm down😂

Stranger: for what

Stranger: I should not do what

Stranger: oh shit

You: hey hey hey liste

You: listen*

Stranger: Okay im listening

Stranger: all I hear is music omg are u connect to my speaker

Stranger: Connected

You: ok so my family's calling me to lunch...i really gotta go, but can u keep in touch?

You: AHAHHAHAHA

Stranger: yes

You: yes?

Stranger: yes

You: yes!

You: what do u have?

You: idk even ur name

You: i'm sarah by the way

Stranger: Um Noah and snapchat insta Facebook venmo

Stranger: PayPal

Stranger: uber eats

Stranger: Yeah

You: ahahahhahaahahah

Stranger: I can text you on any of those

You: oh uber eats? really? i didn't now that

Stranger: yeah im ceo so I get all the secret stuff

You: ooooh you're ceo damn

You: anyway 😂

You: I do have insta & snap so..

Stranger: yeah did you know u can order food on there

Stranger: Lets do snapchat

You: yeah ofc i know that

You: ahahahhahaha

Stranger: oh you did

You: okay so it's scarval

You: ooops

You: scarvalhando

You: ***

Stranger: Boom added off uber eats

You: can we order food someday?

You: it would be awesome

Stranger: yes

You: okay noah

You: what's ur insta btw? i could follow u there as well

Stranger: I forgot I told u my name i was like omg I told a hacker my cheesy pick up line

Stranger: I'm fucked

You: 😂😂😂😂😂

You: Yeah omg i'm a hacker

You: I wish i were tho

Stranger: Oh shit please don't go through my history unless u want to see alot of cars like alot alot of cars

Stranger: And when u scroll down far enough you will see how to talk to a light poll

You: obsession with cars?😂😂

You: ooooh yeah okay

You: it seems nice, i mean, talking to a light poll, isn't?

Stranger: um a little😅

Stranger: idk it has not talked back yet

Stranger: I think its shy

You: oof that hurts 😂

You: okay okay okay

Stranger: I don't know find out on next weeks episode of dose it talk

You: 😂😂😂😂😂

Stranger: featuring little turtule and big fish rick

You: I'm gonna watch this

You: 😂

You: see ya on snap then?

Stranger: its gonna be lit and okay

You: i gotta gotta gotta gotta go

Stranger: by Sarah thank you for letting me use my cheesy pick up line on you

Stranger: bye

You: Anytime!!! 😂

Stranger: and u will hear more from my dumbass

Stranger: oh and ill lyk what my mom thinks

You: I hope 😂

You: okay i'll be waiting

You: Cya

Stranger: Okay byeeee

You: byeee

You: skip

[mittensmorgul]

5.11, Sam, Interrupted. Right on the heels of seeing their roles in the story from an outside perspective, we shift in the complete opposite direction, into a deep internal perspective.

Still, there's a primary manipulative force. Only it's manipulating them from the inside instead of from the outside. And Sam and Dean "pretend" to be insane to get themselves admitted to a psych hospital believing they're actually in control the entire time, when they were basically screwed and being manipulated from the moment they had their intake exams...

Hello, wraith!

(heh, and the creature I took my AO3 handle from, so maybe this gives folks some insight as to why I chose that name now... manipulating TFW and readers from the inside since 2015... my new catch phrase I guess?)

They're Sam and Dean get admitted for telling the absolute truth, about the apocalypse, monsters, angels, demons.

SAM: Okay. Look...um...last few weeks, you've kind of been worrying me. DEAN: (rolls his eyes) Oh, come on, Sam. Stop. Look, just because we're in the loony bin doesn't give you the right to head-shrink me. SAM: Dean-- DEAN: Ellen and Jo dying--Yeah, it was a friggin' tragedy, okay? But I'm not gonna wallow in it. SAM: Dean, you always do this. You can't just keep this crap in. DEAN: (chuckles) Watch me.

Yeahhhhhhh... that won't lead to problems down the line... I mean, we've talked for years about Dean's chats with his psychiatrist, who turns out to be entirely a hallucination on his part, and just how flippant he is about his own problems, so I probably don't need to dwell on that here. Or on the fact that this is a Dabb episode, wherein it's made completely obvious that the doctor who tries to separate Dean and Sam for their own good, because they're "dangerously codependent" is thought for a good while to be the monster, partly because of that assessment... when like... he was completely innocent and literally just doing his job pointing out the obvious. Their codependence has broken the world how many times now? Yeah... they definitely really could do with some time apart.

(throws up in my mouth a little bit thinking about the conversation I accidentally got myself wrapped up in a week or two ago with people who were upset at the thought that Sam and Dean wouldn't end up sharing a heaven and like.... hoooooly fuck we see this show from very different perspectives...)

Meanwhile, some of the narrative manipulation can be summed up quite tidily through some of their interactions with other patients:

--the girl who wanders the halls randomly kissing them, first Dean, and then Sam, because he's bigger... --Ted and the other patients in Sam's group therapy session: TED: (lowers his hand) I am calm. And I'd very calmly like to talk about the monster that's hunting us. DR. FULLER: Ted, we're not going to have that discussion again. It's not good for group. TED: I agree. You know what else isn't good for group? A monster eating all our faces off. DR. FULLER: Alright, fine, thank you. Now, anyone else? TED: I saw it...when it killed Susan. OTHER PATIENT: I did, too. It had big lobster claws. TED: No, it didn't. OTHER PATIENT: Yeah, and it was an alien, like on X-Files. TED: Stop it. Stop helping. Listen to me. We're all dead! DR. FULLER: That's enough. (leans forward, taking off his glasses) There is no monster.

"STOP HELPING!" Ted says. Because the lies aren't actually helping here. The other patients are just making stuff up, whether for attention or because they can't help themselves, but Ted is actually telling the truth, which gets drowned out and dismissed as just more delusional ravings. And then he ends up as the wraith's next victim.

Truth, lies, what's the real story here? And how do you see the truth? In mirrors.

YOU SEE THE TRUTH IN MIRRORS.

Except, sometimes the wraith can even affect what you see in the mirror-- both about yourself and others. For example, even Dean's entirely mentally invented doctor shows up in the mirror with him. She makes Dr. Fuller appear as a wraith, fueling their mistaken belief that he's the monster. And then when the wraith is closing in on them and knows they're on to her, she makes EVERYONE appear as wraiths in the mirror so she can continue hiding in plain sight, while also driving Dean's paranoia through the roof.

Dean, trying to convince the doctor he's fine, she starts throwing all the accusations he's had burning guilty holes in him for a long time:

DR. CARTWRIGHT: Come on, even you don't believe that. All this pressure that you're putting yourself under, all this guilt; it's killing you. You can't save everybody. You can't. (her voice becomes hard) Hell, these days, you can't save anybody, Dean. (turns to leave) DEAN: What did you say? DR. CARTWRIGHT: (turns back to him) The truth, Dean. You got Ellen and Jo killed. You shot Lucifer, but you couldn't gank him. DEAN begins to get confused and a little afraid. DR. CARTWRIGHT: You couldn't stop Sam from killing Lilith, and--oh, yeah--you broke the first seal. All you do is fail. Did you really think that you, Dean Winchester with a GED and a give-'em-hell attitude, were gonna beat the devil? DEAN gets a little more afraid. DR. CARTWRIGHT: Please. The world is gonna burn, and there is nothing that you can do about it. DEAN: Who are you? (voice rising) How do you know that stuff?

but it's then that he begins to realize just how bad he's been messed with:

DR. CARTWRIGHT: I'm not real, Dean. I'm in your head...because you are going crazy.

and he literally goes and huddles in a corner, having completely lost his grip on reality.

Meanwhile, Sam gets confronted by the real doctor, and has his problems listed off to him:

SAM: Yeah. Thanks. I, um...I just wanted to apologize. I feel horrible about what I did to you. I thought you were a monster. DR. FULLER: I know that. The question is, why? SAM: I was...It doesn't matter, um...because after what happened last night, I had a...moment of clarity. I realized...there's no such thing as monsters. DR. FULLER: Well, I'm glad to hear you say that, but, honestly? Monsters are the least of your problems. People can learn to live with delusions, but the anger I saw in you...You hurt those two men, and you were going to kill me. The look in your eyes when you came after me, I...It was like you were barely even human...like a man possessed.

like a man possessed... lol >.> Again, how much is is foreshadowed that Sam is due for Bad Things, and Dean will be left collapsed by his own guilt and loss by the end of the season? Especially as Dean sits nearly catatonic at a table in the corner while Sam starts an imaginary fight inside his own mind and gets himself dragged off to isolation. Dean, however, is still coherent enough to put together the clues and hunt down the wraith despite being drugged and manipulated by her.

At first he mistakenly believes they were infected by Wendy the random kissing patient, but they arrive at her room in time to watch the actual wraith attack her. Martin creates a distraction and tells Dean that he needs to go kill the wraith, but he's received a MASSIVE dose of her venom and can barely walk. Yet he is determined.

MARTIN: You've gotta get out there and kill that thing. I'll take care of her. MARTIN'S voice echoes in DEAN'S ears. DEAN: (shakes his head) I can't. MARTIN: You have to. You have no choice, son. The two orderlies walk in and grab MARTIN, who fights back. The orderlies are distracted by MARTIN. MARTIN: Go. Dean, run! Run!

And what the wraith tells Sam is interesting, too:

SAM: You did this to me! THE WRAITH: Well, I helped. But that rage? No, no, no. That's all you. I don't make crazy. I just crank up what's already there. You build your own hell, but I give you the Legos. And when you're ripe... I make all of your problems disappear.

And this terrifies Sam, because he knows she's right:

SAM: She was right. DEAN: No, she wasn't. She's dead, okay? Let's hit the road. I need a drink, or twelve. SAM: Most of the time, I can hide it, but...I am angry. I'm mad at everything. I used to be mad at you and Dad, then Lilith, now it's Lucifer, and I make excuses. I blame Ruby or the demon blood, but it's not their fault. It's not them. It's me. It's inside me. I'm mad...all the time...and I don't know why. DEAN: Stop. Stop it. So what if you are? What are you gonna do? You gonna take a leave of absence? You gonna say yes to Lucifer? What? SAM: No, of course not. I-- DEAN: Exactly. And that's exactly what you're gonna do. You're gonna take all that crap and you're gonna bury it. You're gonna forget about it, because that's how we keep going! That's how we don't end up like Martin! Are you with me?

So... pushing it all down, not the best strategy for long-term mental health, but pushing anger down specifically? That's something Dean's spent a lifetime doing. Sam, maybe not so much. When Sam's gotten angry in the past, he makes a plan and removes himself from the situation-- running away from home as a kid, running away to Stanford, making a totally new life for himself and just pretending the Bad Things didn't happen at all. Dean, on the other hand, just puts his head down and continues plowing through the bad things head first like a bull. And honestly neither of these are great coping strategies in real life, but the fact that Sam is just... so baffled as to the source of his anger, when he doesn't WANT to be angry but has so much legitimate REASON to be angry, is just heartbreaking. He thinks it's a personal failing, though, instead of a rational response to being so horrifically manipulated his whole life.

When Dean's anger reaches a peak, he just lets himself explode and doesn't feel guilty about exploding after the fact, you know? Which makes the manipulation he suffered via the wraith all the more painful for him. He just takes it and keeps on plowing through. He'll have a valid excuse to let that anger out sooner or later.

Meanwhile, his guilt over all of this will power him through to the next manipulative adventure the narrative has in store.

[real-goblin-kris]

LIVE REACTIONS TO ENDGAME FOR THE FIRST TIME

Oh fuck man... my boy Hawkeye...

Nice song for the title card tbh.

Tony and Nebula??? PURE. I love this.

Man Tony... oh fuck... my boy...

I’ll dream about you... ohhhh fuck my heart...

It’s really pretty seeing Tony among the stars but like holy shit...

Poor Tony just wanted a nap and what’s he get? Explosions and shit.

OH FUCK THATS NOT AN EXPLOSION ITS BRIE LARSON

Baby face Cap. I like it.

Would die for Captain Marvel now.

THEYRE MAKING UP?! AND PEPPER?? ROCKET AND NEBULA?!!

Shuri... Parker... Eric...

I thought you were a build a Bear.

Oh they’re not making up it’s a fight again goddamn this is too much...

Rhodey is the real hero.

Tony... oh hell.

Where you going? To kill Thanos. Uhhh duh?

That’s cute Thanos has a retirement plan

Thor be like mmmm fuck this

Before, you didn’t have me. Carol what the fuck bruh

I like this one. Oh Thor...

LANGUAGE CAPTAIN

Thor is not practicing seatbelt safety.

Who here has NOT been to space?

Cheap... why bring up fucking Peggy now she’s already dead

Armor scarecrow. Big farmer man.

Seeing Thanos in a T-shirt is... jarring and uncomfortable.

Hey asshole, take 2!

Lmao the stones are gone

Just fucking kill the asshole please

I used the stones to destroy the stones. Wow.

I am inevitable. Bitch that’s... uhhh...

YAY DECAPITATE THE FUCKER

I went for the head. Yes baebey I’m proud of you.

What a wasteland... wow.

Support Group Steve Rogers, that’s poetic.

LOVE OF YOUR LIFE MY ASS ROGERS

Oh hi Scott

Howdy bro why all my shit gone

Fuck my shit where’s my WIFE

AWWWW FUCK IM CRYING HIS DAUGHTER YOURE SO BIG

We handle it by NOT handling it.

PB&J and some serious drama.

My babey... mom Rogers is my dude...

Nat is... my depressed self...

She... called them family... oh wow I feel Nat so much right now...

Quantum physics for conversation! Cute.

Is that anybody’s sandwich? I’m starving.

Yeah... like a time machine.

I get emails from a raccoon. Trash panda!

I would DIE FOR MORGAN STARK. RIGHT NOW.

Back to the Future references!

I adore Morgan. I literally adore her.

I’m SO CONFUSED...

I love Hulk??

DAB!!!! HULK DABS!!!!!!!

Oh... Tony and Peter...

Did... Tony Stark invent time travel?

Morgan says shit????????

I got some important shit goin on!

That’s EXTORTION.

I love you 3000... that’s the cutest goddamn thing...

Oh the put a pin in it...

Lol hulk is the BOY.

You’re right. I do, Captain America.

It’s a baby. Scott! As a BABY!

Somebody peed my pants and I don’t know if it was baby me or old me... or... me me...

Oh tony drives an Audi

Sup bitch it’s ya boy tony

Thor.exe has stopped responding.

Oh wow Thor...

I worry for Fat Thor

There’s beer on the ship. What kind?

Why the fuck is GENJI IN THIS MOVIE

Whom the fuck

What the fuck

BARTON?!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!!!!!!

Don’t give me hope. Wow fuck I felt that.

Oh Thor...

Oh my god. Wow.

So back to the future’s a bunch of BULLSHIT?

Oh wow...

Thor, what do you know? Is he asleep?

No, I’d like a Bloody Mary.

You wanna go to space? You wanna go to space puppy?

Not it (on Vormir)

Pleeeeeeease tell me Thor gets to see Jane again...

I think it’s gratuitous but whatever...

The Ancient One is a Pain in the Ass

LOKIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh no... I heard Jane... I’ll cry...

FRIGGA...

My poor baby has PTSD over this.

CAN I PLEASE HUG THOR?????

It’s a long way from Budapest.

Sister drama? Jeez.

What the fuck is that bigass sword Thanos?

Abusive shitbag thanos.

Lookin at AMERICA’S ASS!

Flick me.

Take the stairs. HATE THE STAIRS.

HAIL HYDRA?!!!! BIIIIIIIITCH

RRRRRGH SO MANY STAIRS

Is that... Axe body spray??? Oh fuck Tony...

OH HELL LOKI

lmaooooo cap thinks he’s Loki

Yeah I KNOW... I know...

THAT IS AMERICA’S ASS!

Oof this is crazy shit my head hurts bc of this time travel drama

The Ancient One stresses me out.

Squidward is back.

FRIGGA... oh... I’m gonna cry... mommy...

The feels of old Asgard ok... what a mom moment...

THOOOOOOOR! I GOT IT!!!!!!

IM STILL WORTHY IM SO SAD NOW GOODBYE MOM SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOLD ME

oh I love the opening scene for guardians

oh... shit... Nat...

oh my fuck I don’t have words.

I always knew Bruce loved Nat but man this is hard

This is a MESS WHAT THE FUCK

THANOS BOMBED THE COMPOUND WHAT

I love Barton so much right now who’s the baddest bitch?? CLEARLY CLINT

I’m gonna fuckin wait here like the dickwad I am duh

That’s my man. You lose this again, I’m keeping it. Ohoho I missed avengers banter.

Ew, it’s a dick with a big sword.

Aww, look! Fat Thor got a lil braid in his beard.

Eat a fresh, hot asshole Thanos. You’re obviously fucking stupid.

SHRED THE UNIVERSE AND REMAKE IT??? Someone fucking sounds like he read too much Pokemon Diamond and Pearl manga, you sound like Cyrus you little bitch

Clint “Bad Bitch” Barton yeets out of trouble

Thor plays tennis with Mjolnir.

STEVE WITH THE HAMMER FUCK YEAHHHHHHH

DID THANOS GO FOR THE DICK?!

PETER!!!!! THE HUG!!!!!

Oh shit GAMORA

Peter Parker is VALID AND IMPORTANT AND SO PURE

Yeahhhh CAROLLLLLLLL

Thanos looks so sad Alexa play All Star

SHES GOT HELP HELL YES MY WOMEN ARE BAD BITCHES

Scarlet Witch is everything. EVERYTHING. I would DIE FOR WANDA MAXIMOFF.

Headbutts Carol “bitch do I LOOK AMUSED”

TONy

I AM IRON MAN

Oh FUCK

MY HEART

Get fucking WRECKED BALLSACK FACE

This reminds me of when Voldemort went cornflakes

I’m crying so fucking much oh god

BABY STARK

Was that Harley I can’t see there’s too many tears

MORGAN AND HAPPY

I thought I was gonna hate Falcon Cap but I really can’t when it’s like this

I still want Stucky and will ship it forever but I can’t really hate this ending scene.

Final Thoughts: Endgame has officially ruined my life and I’m okay with it. My face hurts from crying. I need a hug. And to go see FFH again.

[italicwatches]

Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online - Episode 06

I should probably watch some anime today. It’s Sword Art Online Alternative: Gun Gale Online, episode 06! Here we GO!

-It’s February 11th, just a bit after the Squad Jam. And LLENN is in GGO, down in the cash shop where THEY HAVE A NEW P90 IN STOCK FUCK YEAHHHHHHH! P-chan, daughter of P-chan, is born! LLENN loves her submachine guns so much. It’s a wholesome love between a woman and her gun.

-And hey, there’s Eva! What’s the Boss doing in a place like this?

-Opening! You know, sidenote, I’m wondering if GGO has some level of self-identity thing going on. Like, it’s one thing that Karen and Saki each happened to get a form that matched who they wanted to be…But the entire team of tiny girls who wish they were bigger and got more respect, waking up in GGO as tall, buff amazons? On top of Karen, who wants to be cute and adorable and the little spoon, waking up as literally the smallest size the system allows? That feels a little too unlikely to just be the odds.

-The 15th. It’s the post-credits from episode one, as the whole of Saki’s crew is there watching the highlights from Karen’s performance in the Squad Jam, and seeing just how much crazy shit she pulled off before they fought her. You’re a MONSTER, Karen-san! A total BADASS!

-Karen is still trying to properly hook this gaggle of adorable schoolgirls she’s somehow befriended, to the terrifying amazons who pushed her to the brink. Saki is all huffy about how Karen is still kind of scared of Eva. Well what about Sophie, huh? Look at their gunner, she’s huge!

-Yeah but she has a gentler demeanor, as we start getting connections. So, Saki is Eva. Kana, with the bob cut, is Sophie. Mi, the blonde, has the sharpshooter Toma, and has learned to drive stick because she’s been overseas. The one with those cutesy rounded eyebrows, Shiori, is Roza the other heavy-gunner. Their second sniper is Moe, who is deeply embarrassed about how she puts on such cool airs in the game. And then there’s Risa, who is Tanya the scout, the closest to anyone’s real self…But still tall and muscled, just the sleek muscles of a runner.

-So that’s the whole gang! By schoolday, they are but the humble high school rhythmic gymnastics club. But by night, they are a vicious crew…And they’re here to talk strategy. They want to walk through the entire encounter and figure out where they dropped the ball! They’re in your care, Karen-san!

-Episode 06! “SAO Loser”

-Also they devour the snacks she gives them because they are, after all, athletic teenagers. And it turns out they’ve only known each other since last April, when they all joined the club…And they were fucking terrible. It’s actually why they got into VR gaming, to learn to communicate physically and sync up properly…After their coach got fed up and quit on them.

-As for why GGO? IT was the fact that it was so different, so far out of their usual context, that they could start from zero and not the outright negative position they were in with their actual sports. A crisp, clear goal, that they all knew they knew nothing about accomplishing. And of course, it’s just plain a good game, so they got super hooked on it!

-Which is why now they’ve got to push for victory in the next proper Squad Jam! What about rhythmic gymnastics…? That too. BUT ESPECIALLY GGO. Now, will you be in the next one?!

-Karen’s…Not so sure. This was kind of sprung on her. She’s not gonna say no, but she can’t say yes. And she doesn’t even know if M will keep playing, let alone want to team up with her again going forward…

-…Saki is sad now. But eventually, they’re all ready to head out, and Karen’s got to get ready for her big trip back to her parents’ place for spring break. Saki is still sad about not having a LLENN to war against in the inevitable next Squad Jam.

-The 24th. Karen’s back in her hometown, out with Miyu, and kind of wishing neither of those things were the case judging by the look on her face. Miyu keeps taking photos of her new look and she saw the highlight reel of you and that M guy! You kicked ASS! Tell her everything, everything! What made you want to split up from M? That was BANANAS!

-So Miyu learns everything…And yeah this Pito chick sounds like a nutter. Just make sure she never knows your meatspace identity and you’ll be fine. Oh, hey, this karaoke bar has some new Elsa songs! You wanna do one? Miyu’s gonna do one. They are gonna get that next set of concert tickets!

-A few days later, Karen’s on the plane back home, and gets a promo email saying that the second Squad Jam has just been announced for early April.

-Sidenote, these things don’t make any sense. Like, look, it was…fifteen teams to start, right? That means the absolute maximum player count in a single Squad Jam is 90 people, holding the 2-6 size limit. Both of the major battle royale centric games right now, PUBG and especially Fortnite (but especially Bart) can rack up a hundred players in…about 30 seconds, give or take. Even in their own squad modes, from what I’ve seen it doesn’t take more than a few minutes to get into a match, tops.

-Now, okay, that’s on an American game audience, with something that uses heavy amounts of cross-play and can be played on an incredible variety of devices. So I will freely admit it’s not a 1:1 comparison to VR. But unless the Japanese server only has a couple thousand people on it, tops, getting 30-90 people into a match shouldn’t be the kind of thing so huge it only happens once every few months…Because if it is, how the hell is the game able to keep running and pay for what I have to imagine would be much better servers than an ordinary FPS, to deal with the immense amount of data a full-dive VR player would be sending?

-I know I’m overthinking it, and they’re getting the feel of gaming right. It’s just…I don’t know. Kind of weird the way they’re trying to make the Squad Jams, as an entire concept, into these big Events when that’s not how this shit works. Anyways, it’s another personal sponsorship, with some fine tuned rules, and any of the top four teams are pre-seeded if they choose to enter.

-Oh, and then Saki emailed Karen immediately because WOOOOO SECOND SQUAD JAM! Also, her message is full of more emojis and text emoticons than I think I’ve ever seen in one place. Also Saki wants to eat her treats again so please invite them over sometime soon. …Shit, that kid is blunt.

-When Karen gets back to her place, she finds a guy waiting for her who gets WAYYYY too close and it’s M. So that removes one possibility I had. And now she’s twice freaked out because how the fuck did he find her? Can they go somewhere private to talk about that? Because shit’s gotten Real.

-And that’s how they end up in a little cafe area in the apartment building, I think? Hard to say. But, bluntly, M has to admit that he has no proof of any of his claims, but there’s some shit you need to know. Also, he gives a real name, one Asougi Goushi. Goushi is RIGHT UP ON HER and begging for her help because people’s lives are, for real, on the line.

-His, and Pito’s. …Oh fuck me, what is Pito doing. She’s insane, and they both know it. She’s going to participate, and form a team…And in real life, she said she intends to kill herself if she doesn’t take the gold. But not until she confirms his death.

-Karen would like off this ride now please. This is ludicrous and you should go to the police.

-But…Well, here’s the deal. You know the SAO Incident, right? Thousands of people locked in, forced to fight for their lives. Pito…Wasn’t in that group. She was a beta tester, and became obsessed with the game. On launch day, something came up. She had to delay her entrance into it for just a few hours…Enough for the lockdown to happen, and SAO to become a sealed bubble she couldn’t enter.

-She watched it all on the news. She watched everyone else go through the greatest crucible of their lives. And it broke her. That she lost her shot at entering that crucible, turned her inside out. To have a chance to burn her life out in battle…Ever since VR games became popular again, she’s been throwing every spare moment she had into them. But they don’t satisfy her yearning for the void.

-For a little while, though, things were…stable. Until the SAO Incident was solved, and the survivors started talking. Pito had to confront her ‘lost opportunity’, and learned about the player killers, who committed genuine murder inside the world of SAO. Most of the deaths, outside of those first few chaotic days, were in fact from player killers or from self-defense against them.

-Other sidenote, I don’t know if it’s just one of those Manga Things where shit gets enshrined and used and reused because it’s an easily understood story path, but Japanese gaming culture seems to have this really different attitude towards PvP and attacking other players in general.

-And Pito…Pito envied them. Their chance to put their lives on the line, to kill or be killed. To be them or to strike them down. That’s how fucking insane Pito is!

-Things weren’t so bad when she was burning of steam in GGO…But then she missed the Squad Jam, the first big script-changer event! And it’s caused a relapse. …So she’s going to try and turn Squad Jam 2: Gunfire Boogaloo into a death game. Yes, yes! So again. Why not the cops or professionals.

-…He can’t. Pito’s too important to him. If he goes to the police or psychiatrists, she’ll be killed, jailed or put in a psychiatric ward, and if they try to lock her up she’ll find a way to kill herself. She’d die, and not before destroying herself in the eyes of all the people who rely on her.

-…This is over her pay grade, man. She can’t help you here.

-KABEDON

-Goushi corners her up with the very important move that is Kaibedon, and look. He, loves, Pito! That’s why he has to find a way for this to end in her survival, so he can get her back to center! Karen’s first kabedon, and it’s to hear a guy confess his love for someone else. This is bullshit.

-So they end up sitting back down, with Goushi drinking black coffee, which he hates, but he drinks it because Pito likes it. …Dude just have a sweet drink and mellow. So, okay, talk it out. What’s your plan and why aren’t you scared like when she had P-chan aimed at your damn head?

-Because his real fear isn’t death…It’s leaving Pito behind without him there to keep her grounded. Say he dies. Hell, say Pito kills him. Then…Then what. What if she doesn’t have the will to kill herself? What if she tries for suicide by cop, or worse, what if she breaks down and her resolve cracks entirely? She’d be destroyed. She wouldn’t even have the dignity of death, she’d have a hollow life.

-And okay, explain in very small words how Karen’s supposed to help.

-Enter the SJ 2, face Pito, and defeat her in battle!

-…WHAT?!

-You are the one person who she will accept a defeat from. She made that promise to you! If you defeat her honestly, and if she knows it’s an honest fight…She’ll be stuck to her promise. She’ll have to stay alive, so she can meet you. And that’ll give him time, to pull her back to center and out of this relapse state.

-…This is insane. This is ludicrous. But…If it’s the only option on the board…Guess she’s entering.

-Credits!

-Aftercredits! Karen’s back in bed, and now has Goushi’s personal email as a way to talk…But Karen needs someone to enter with. Who the hell can LLENN rely…on…Miyu! MIYU SHE NEEDS YOUR HELP! …Miyu is so fucking down. They’re gonna rage, Karen!

I guess SAO’s gonna SAO, huh. Gotta be honest, I would’ve enjoyed this more without the death game angle. But oh well, let’s try and enjoy ourselves next time, in episode SIX of SAO Alt: GGO! Wait for it!

[babykpopsweets]

Mafia!EXO reaction to you going somewhere without telling them

You are their wifey

Pt.1

Authors Note: so I didn’t know if you wanted Kris, Luhan, and Tao so I didn’t do them. But you can request again for a seperate post of their reactions!🤗

|anon requested|

Xiumin-

He was exhausted from a long day at work. So when he came home and saw you weren’t in the bedroom you guys shared, he freaked out. He needed to find you as quick as possible.

Xiumin knew you would never run away from. Or would you? No. Xiumin had faith in you. Faith that you wouldn’t betray him like that. Were you kidnapped? Possibly but none of the gangs were mad at EXO for the time being. Did the gang who could’ve kidnap you just want to start a cold blooded war?

His thoughts were rudely interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Xiumin quickly looked in the direction of the door in hopes it was you. And fortunately for him, it was you. His heart became full of happiness to see you okay and unharmed.

“WHERE WERe YOU?!” Xiumin blurted out after hugging you tightly.

“Oh I forgot to tell you. I went out to get you a new phone case since I know your old one broke.” Even though you sensed the worry that came from Xiumin, you remained calm.

“…”

“What?”

“Firstly, you CAN NOT just forget to tell me something like that. Secondly, YOU ARE THE SWEETEST CAN I HAVE IT???”

Suho-

He had told one of his men to check up on you. Since he hadn’t been home for a few hours and wasn’t going to be home until very late. Of course he would worry about you well-being and if you were still in the house or not. But he couldn’t go himself; he was taking care of very important business.

However, just because he was busy doesn’t mean he wouldn’t worry about how you were. Thus he had one of his men take care of the once thought simple task. It became a huge mess when the man he had sent called him back and told him you were not present in the house. Suho hangs up the phone immediately and picks up his gun. Without no plan at all, he marches out of his office and towards your house.

It first came to his mind that you had left him and that made his blood boil. Yet he knew it wasn’t true when he saw all of your stuff still in the closet and around the room. If you hadn’t left on your own will, that means you were taken against your will. What was Suho going to do?! Someone kidnapped you and he has absolutely no clue as to who would know of the location of your guys house.

Thats when the door unlocked. Suho quickly pointed the gun in its direction and slowly made his way towards the entrance. His heart lifted to the sky the moment he saw it was you.

“Oh my f- Y/N WHERE WERE YOU?! YOU SCARED ME HALF TO DEATH?!” Suho was relived and angry now that you were here.

“Oops. Sorry I went to go get Froyo.”

“…srsly sorry? Ugh just don’t do it again.”

Lay-

Lay would’ve decided to come home early today. He was way beyond exhuasted. Without a doubt the first thing he looks for is his love of his life, you. But after he checked all rooms in the search for you his heart almost fell to the floor.

Lay ran around the whole house again. To look for any signs of forced entry. He didn’t find any though. Lay found the whole equation weird. No forced entry yet there was no sign of you. That’s when it clicked in his mind. Could you have possibly left him? Just the thought of it would break his heart without even knowing if it was true or not.

He thought for a few seconds before he realised he needed to go find you. Whether you left or you were kidnapped he does not know. However he must find you as soon as possible. Lay hurried to his gun and phone. He put them in his pockets and was ready to go. Right when he was about to leave you came busting through the door. The sight of you being perfectly okay made him almost drop to his knees.

“LOOK BABE WHAT I BROUGHT! Your fav from bubble tea~” You were filled with joy as you handed him the drink.

“WHERE? HAVE? YOU? BEEN?” Lay breathlessly said as he took the drink and moved to sit down on the couch.

“Bubble tea??…. OH YEAHHHHHHH I forgot to tell you. Sorry”

“Its fine just don’t do it again you almost made me go out on a killing spree.”

Baekhyun-

~click click click~

Baekhyun continued typing on his computer freely. He had totally lost complete track of time. Forgetting all about the date you guys had planned for tonight. It wasn’t until Chanyeol entered his office that he broke back to reality.

“Hey boss. Suprised to still see you here!” Chanyeol let out a small chuckle when Baekhyun put on a confused face.

“Why so?” Baekhyun asked more confused them ever since he was boss so he always stayed later then everyone.

“Because you said you have a date night with Y/N tonight.”

Baekhyuns jaw dropped as he suddenly remember the plans of the date night that was suppose to happen 3 hours ago! He quickly cleaned up all his stuff and rushed out. Leaving Chanyeol in a giggling mess.

~

“I am so sorry baby! I’m here now though.” Baekhyun yells at the top of his lungs while he closes the door.

No reply.

“Babe?”

No one was here.

Baekhyun began to worry of your well-being. You must’ve left! It’s the only thing that would make sense right now. He put all of his stuff down and grabbed a few weapons. Whilst he was stuffing them in his jacket, the door unlocked. He didn’t react since he was covered in complete sadness and shock of your disappearance.

He snapped out of it thought when you put your hand on his shoulder asking if he was okay. Then he picked you up into a hug and kiss you a few million times.

“I love you Y/n! And you really scared me baby. Please always tell me if and when you are going to leave the house.”

Chen-

Currently Chen was on a mission. He hasn’t been home for 2 days since he was traveling and tonight he was coming back finally. But he couldn’t wait that long in order to see if you were okay. Once the mission was completed and deemed successful he whipped out his phone. Dialing you number and then letting it ring.

-voicemail-

Oof, the hell of you doing that you can’t pick up? He thought to himself.

Attempt 2.

He scrolls through his contacts this time and then press your name to call.

-voicemail-

YAH! He mentally yelled out loud.

Even though it would practically eat him up on the inside the whole time, he had to wait. He was the boss of this mafia so he can’t be shown as vulnerable to any of his men in any way.

-5 hrs later-

Chen bursted through the door. Shouting your name over and over again in hopes of hearing you sweet voice reply. No such luck here. Chens heart rate increased rapidly and his anxiety grew bad. You were his world what was he to do-

The door swings open and there stands a happy you. Chen snaps his head to your direction and he immediately relaxs. You were okay. He quickly pulls you into his embrace. Happier then ever that you were still with him.

“Jagiya, please. Always tell me when you go somewhere. Please.”

“Sorry.. but I promise I will from now on.”

~~~

Part two will out in a few!! Enjoyyyy

-admin Jamz

[partlycharlie-archive]

ep: things leo does; by jason grace

chapter 2. aftermath link to chapter 1

summary: 2. hey, mom? okay, there's this guy named leo, and i'm in love with him. wait - wait, you knew that already? well. fuck. wait! aha - i bet anything you didn't know he was in love with me, now did you? yeah, i thought - fuck. word count: 2,051 warnings: mention of cannibalism (not serious), mention of DDLB/NSAP, morse code a/n: valentines chapter because i’m a sucker for the babe :/  read on ao3

5. taps out messages in morse code when he thinks no one is paying attention

Two short taps. One short, one long, two short. One long, one short, two long. Rinse and repeat.

Three letters.

Jason’s sure nobody else has noticed - Leo tapping his fingers in what seems to be a random pattern is nothing new, and his eyes track Chiron’s movements with what seems to be laser focus.

He likes to think he knows Leo better, by now.

Jason thinks back on his old Morse training (“Why do I have to know this?” “Just in case.” “What the hell kind of situation requires us to tap Morse code to each other when we have fucking mouths?”) - laborious months of bullshit memorizing that he never used on quests, but damn if it isn’t coming in handy now.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

ILY.

Jason jerks up in his seat, avoiding Leo’s eyes when his fingers stop tapping and he glances over, obviously concerned.

Leo’s mouth quirks up into a tiny smirk - how the fuck does he manage to lift only a corner of his mouth, and still convey so much? It’s fucking adorable, and Jason hates it - and he focuses back onto Chiron, who is trotting across the front of the room with a vaguely frustrated expression on his face.

Leo’s fingers continue their tapping, slim fingers pressing coded messages into the tabletop.

Two short taps. I

One short, one long, two short. L

One long, one short, two long. Y

One short, three long. J

One short, one long. A

Three short. S

Three long. O

One long, one short -

“Alright, any questions?” Chiron asks suddenly, raising his voice to attract the attention of any heads whose heads are drooping (Jason tries not to feel guilty - fails - whatever.). “No? Alright, dismissed.”

Jason glances at Leo, who is standing up like nothing’s changed, slapping his hands on the table like nothing’s changed, brushing a hand down his jeans like nothing’s changed, turning to leave like nothing’s -

You get the point.

Okay, so Leo had spelled out ILY JASO- something. That something was either a K, a D, a Y, a C, an X, a B, or…

An N.

Was it too much of a stretch to think he might have been spelling out JASON? Zeus knows it wasn’t JASOD, anyway.

Fuck.

  6. acts like a child when he gets tired*

* leo doesn’t get tired.

“… so the chip attaches to this port -” Leo yawns, and then shakes his head to clear it up, “ - and so it becomes able to track -” another yawn, “ - the movements -”

“Leo?” Jason asks, tilting his head slowly. Leo glances up, blinking blearily (ha, alliteration) up at him.

“Yeah?”

Jason smiles fondly, unable to hold back his reaction to an evidently tired Leo.

“You look tired. Ready for bed?”

Leo shakes his head again, more rapidly this time, and his curly hair flops around with his movements. He blinks a few more times, then opens his eyes as far as he can. “Nuh-uh,” he says, with an expression like a guilty child.

Yeah, right. Even Jason’s tired, and Leo likes to call him Superman - mostly because he looks like a blond version of him, but also because he’s basically superhuman. Jason doesn’t really get tired.

“Yuh-huh. C’mon, let’s head to my cabin. It’s too late, I don’t want to wake the Hephy kids up.”

Leo shakes his head with a petulant expression, narrowing his eyes and leaning back in his chair. With arms crossed, he mutters, “Nuh. Uh.”

Jason raises an eyebrow and nods to himself for a second, fighting back an amused smile at Leo’s behavior. “Alright, you’ve got a couple of options,” he relents, watching with the fond grin that he hadn’t been able to restrain as Leo slowly relaxes, nodding with lingering suspicion still present on his face. “You can either get up and walk with me, or I pick you up. Your choice.”

Leo sighs heavily, tipping his head back and huffing out another breath through his nose. “Fine.”

Jason stands, hovering for a few seconds. He frowns as suspiciously as he can manage when Leo doesn’t stand up like Jason thought he would, instead slouching further into his seat with hands outstretched, as if…

… he wants Jason to pick him up. Of course he does.

“You’re a fucking baby, y’know that?”

Leo shrugs, a carefree smile on his face. “Yup.”

Jason sighs indulgently. “Yeah, of course you do. Alright, we’re doing piggyback, because we both know - despite how incredibly underweight you are - there’s no way I’ll be able to hold you on my damn hip or whatever for the amount of time it’ll take us to get back to the cabin.”

Leo nods and Jason turns his back to the shorter teenager, crouching on the balls of his feet with his hands outstretched behind him. As carefully as he can manage (which isn’t saying a lot, considering how fucking delirious he seems to be), Leo tucks his legs into the slots of Jason’s hips and he stands up, chuckling softly when Leo yelps behind him.

He regains his balance, though, and wraps lanky arms around Jason to rest in the juncture between his neck and shoulder.

“Good to go?”

Leo says nothing, merely nods against the shoulder he’s already starting to fall asleep on - not that Jason expected anything less.

“¡Dios mio, las luces!” he cries almost immediately, shoving his face into the back of Jason’s shirt. [t - Oh my god, the lights!]

Jason can’t stifle the chuckle that escapes him - okay, so maybe he forgot to tell Leo it was basically morning, but. Who could blame him? He’d been… distracted. By Leo. And his hands. And his hair. And his smile. And his laugh. And his -

You see? It just happened again. Totally not his fault.

Definitely.

"Sorry, love," he says, trying and failing to sound truly apologetic. (Did he just say love in reference to Leo? He’s not going to think about that.) "Afraid I can't turn these lights off."

A groan spills its way out of Leo's mouth, sounding suspiciously like a "Why not?" but with a lot more vowels, probably.

"Well," he starts, the fond amusement (he’s fond way too often when it comes to Leo, damn it) probably ridiculously evident in his voice, "there's this thing in the sky - now, don't get too excited - called the sun. Totally crazy, right? It -"

Leo's left hand knocks harshly against his temple. "Asshole."

"- even makes this wild thing called - wait for it - light! It's pretty fuckin' awesome, if I may say so myself."

Leo sighs. "You may not," he grumbles, and Jason can feel the fluttering of the other boy's eyelashes against his neck. He fights back a shiver at the surprisingly intimate feeling and tries to concentrate on getting them to his cabin.

"Hey, dad?" he murmurs, words slurred through a heavy tongue. Jason opens his mouth to answer, but -

Wait.

What?

He freezes.

Mentally, of course, because otherwise Leo would know something was up, and he was so close to falling asleep, and Jason really didn't want him realizing what he said, because it'd turn into a whole production, and Leo would never get to sleep, and then... you get the idea.

But - anyway. Back to the matter at hand:

Dad?

Is that, like, a kink thing?

Jason remembers reading up on kinks (it was a late night and too many Wikipedia articles, sue him), and he's pretty sure daddy kinks are a thing.

(Eugh. He shudders at the thought. Yikes.)

But - that didn't sound like a sexy Dad word. What would a sexy Dad word sound like? It'd probably be Daddy and not Dad, for one.

Oh, gods.

He's getting off track.

Jason decides, as any sane (teenager) semi-mortal would do, to completely ignore the last word of Leo's sentence. "What's up, squirt?"

Okay, what the fuck?

He definitely meant to say Leo, or maybe bro, as regular teenage boys do, but squirt? Gods, Jason's out of his mind.

Maybe it's because Leo's way heavier than he looks. Who knows.

"'m tired."

Jason resists the urge to fist pump the air, instead pulling Leo onto his hip for ease of motion.

"Yeah, yeah, me too. Don't worry, we're almost there."

  7. has horrible grammar when he texts (no, it doesn’t annoy jason)

[17:49] leo_valdez: wht do u want 2 do 4 dins 2nite

[17:55] jason_grace: Salmon with asparagus and rice?

[17:58] leo_valdez: damn chef grace out here [17:58] leo_valdez: yeah boi

[17:59] jason_grace: Okay, cool.

[18:38] jason_grace: Hey, Percy said he’d cook. Cool with you?

[18:43] leo_valdez: yeah np

[18:45] jason_grace: He might take a while, though, so I think we’ll be eating late tonight :/

[18:45] leo_valdez: ye its fine i ate late 2day

[22:24] jason_grace: How’s it smelling over there? I’m hungryy

[22:30] leo_valdez: lol i cant smell anything

[22:31] jason_grace: Omg lol. Do you think it’s your poor sense of smell smell or that nothing is cooking??? Haha

[22:31] leo_valdez: both lmfaooo

[22:32] jason_grace: Lol, okay.

[23:11] jason_grace: 11:11!

[23:14] leo_valdez: my wish is 2 eat

[23:15] jason_grace: Mood [23:19] jason_grace: I’ve died a million hungry deaths already. I may start to eat paper any minute. [23:19] jason_grace: It’s organic, right???

[23:20] leo_valdez: yeah totes gotta get on that #vegan #organic #freerange #localwoodonly trend [23:20] leo_valdez: ykno this shirt is made out f cotton????? thts a crop i cld totally eat this

[23:22] jason_grace: As long as you take tiny bites like a rabbit.

[23:22] leo_valdez: yeahhhhhhh [23:23] leo_valdez: i s2g im gonna eat percy if he doesnt tell me its fuckin ready soon

[23:23] jason_grace: Wait what’s s2g again? [23:23] jason_grace: Oh, nom.

[23:23] leo_valdez: swear to god

[23:23] jason_grace: Nvm*

[23:23] leo_valdez: NOM NOM I HUNGRY

[23:24] jason_grace: Lolzzzz.

[23:24] leo_valdez: thnks jace u rly gotta remind me ://////

[23:24] jason_grace: He’d probably be pretty tasty. [23:24] jason_grace: Remind you of what?

[23:24] leo_valdez: how hUNGRY I AM

[23:25] jason_grace: Nom nom nom I have no other words.

[23:25] leo_valdez: nom [mood in hungryspeak]

[23:26] jason_grace: Me nom.

[23:26] leo_valdez: i just saw th word omw and rly tht it said nom im losing my mind over here

[23:27] jason_grace: Our bellies could have been full hours ago. Savage.

[23:27] leo_valdez: ikr [23:27] leo_valdez: horrible

[23:29] jason_grace: Are tears edible???

[23:29] leo_valdez: hopefully im producing way 2 many of thm

[23:30] jason_grace: Sip slowly, I don’t want you getting full before we eat.

[23:30] leo_valdez: i gotchu [23:31] leo_valdez: trying 2 remind myself tht festus 2.0 is a living being and im not ready 2 b a murderer

[23:34] jason_grace: Oh honey. He wouldn’t be tasty. Too much fur.

[23:34] leo_valdez: u rite u rigt

[23:34] jason_grace: What were we thinking??? We know Percy well enough by now lmao. Sigh. Burp. Ugh.

[23:36] leo_valdez: im crying salmon

[23:37] jason_grace: Oh noooo why’d you have to say salmon?????

[23:38] leo_valdez: LMAOOOO

  8. loves jason grace

Okay, okay.

You gotta keep this one a secret until Jason finds his journal again, okay? He doesn’t know I took it.

I’ve read through it a couple of times, and - damn is Jace a fucking sap. It’s a pity I love him.

No it’s not, who am I kidding.

Aha! That’s the first time I’ve written it down since I realized (which was… too long ago for me to feel comfortable admitting to).

If you didn’t get that, Jason: I love you, you piece of shit.

Ugh.

Fuck, whatever, maybe this thing is a prank and he doesn’t actually love me. Maybe this is a hallucination? Dad knows I’ve been spending way too much time in the Bunker, anyways. Maybe… who knows, honestly.

God, I’m tired.

Whatever. I hope he finds this soon, I’m tired of waiting, for Christ's sake.

See you soon, hopefully.

- leo valdez, the one & only

I love you too, Leo.

[inktaire]

I was indirectly tagged by the beautiful @pettedavis and I love oversharing so why not

Your last 1. drink: Coffee. What else is new lol 2. phone call: Technically a customer while I was at work. But outside of that, one of my best friends named MJ 3. text message: Group chat with my brothers since I treated them to lunch today 4. song you listened to: Avalanche by Walk the Moon (although lowkey the only song I listened to yesterday was Fourth of July by Fall Out Boy bc America) 5. time you cried: A couple of days ago because I got the flu and was so frustrated about it (and also was super anxious about missing my shift at work bc of it) 

Have you ever 6. dated someone twice: No 7. kissed someone and regretted it: Yeahhhhhhh 8. been cheated on: Not to my knowledge 9. lost someone special: My dad 10. been depressed: On and off. I don’t qualify for depression though 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Once last Halloween. To be fair, my uni goes hard on Halloweekend

3 favourite colours: Maroon/Burgundy, Black, Military/Olive green

In the last year have you 15. made new friends: Yeah! 16. fallen out of love: No 17. laughed until you cried: Yes and sadly usually it’s at either memes or my own jokes 18. found out someone was talking about you: No... at least I don’t think so 19. met someone who changed you: “Honestly like not to be corny but literally everyone I meet changes something in me some way” <- keeping pette’s answer bc same 20. found out who your friends are: I grow to understand who I want to keep around throughout my relationships with people, so it’s not a “last year” revelation. 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: Yep

General 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: I know who 99.9% of them are. I’m actually friends with closer to maybe 40% 23. do you have any pets: A dog and I love him more than people 24. do you want to change your name: I debate going by my middle name sometimes if that counts 25. what did you do for your last birthday: My extended family came over for dinner and then I went to church. Gotta love having a holiday for a birthday. 26. what time did you wake up: 9:15am ish. I’m so tired. I stayed up til 4am watching Try Guy videos 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: Reading fanfiction I think  28. name something you can’t wait for: My hypothetical future where I live in a hipster apartment in the city with my best friend Kate and I’m an independent woman who knows what she’s doing. But that’s more of a day dream than anything else  29. when was the last time you saw your mom: Last night 31. what are you listening to right now: Shame by Adam Lambert 32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Probably 33. something that is getting on your nerves: Nothing in particular 34. most visited website: Tumblr and AO3 35. hair colour: Dark brown with slightly lighter dark brown ends. I tried to ombre it, evidently it didn’t really show up. 36. long or short hair: Long. I had a pixie cut once.. not going back there. 37. do you have a crush on someone: I think some people are cute but that’s about it 38. what do you like about yourself: Eyeliner skills. But less superficially, I like how I accepting I am. 39. piercings: Doubles on my earlobes 40. blood type: A+ 41.nickname: None that I use on a day to day basis 42. relationship status: Single 43. zodiac: Capricorn 44. pronouns: She/hers 45. favourite tv show: Sense8 47. right or left handed: Right 48. surgery: Do wisdom teeth count 49. sport: to watch? Boxing 50. vacation: I really want to go to Italy! But my favorite place that I have been to was El Nido, Palawan in the Philippines 51. pair of trainers: Does this mean shoes? Combat boots or black gladiator sandals during the summer

More General 53. eating: Nothing currently. I just came back from a Thai restaurant though 54. drinking: Also nothing 55. i’m about to: Take a nap or watch Netflix. Probably both. 56. waiting for: My paycheck 57. want: Financial stability :) 58. get married: Not anytime soon 59. career: Probably working with minorities. Specifically the LGBTQ+ community. I’m a psych major, so probably as a therapist or a humanitarian or something idk

Which is Better 60. hugs or kisses: Hugs. But lowkey both 61. lips or eyes: Eyes 62. shorter or taller: Taller (that’s not hard though bc I’m short) 63. older or younger: Older or the same age 64. nice arms or nice stomach: Arms  65. hook up or relationship: Relationship. But also friendships 66. troublemaker or hesitant: Hesitant I guess? I love spontaneity, but I find comfort in routine

Have You Ever 67. kissed a stranger: Yes 68. drank hard liquor: Many 69. lost glasses/contact lenses: All the damn time 70. turned someone down: Yes 71. sex on the first date: No 72. broken someone’s heart: I hope I haven’t 73. had your heart broken: Yes 74. been arrested: Nope 75. cried when someone died: Yes 76. fallen for a friend: Yeah

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 77. yourself: Ish 78. miracles: Debatable 79. love at first sight: Attraction at first sight, but not love 80. santa claus: Nope 81. kiss on the first date: If it went well 82. angels: Who knows

OTHER: 83. current best friend’s name: Kate. I would literally follow her into the pits of hell and back (also scratched out current bc??? I’ve known this binch for almost 13 years she’s here to stay) 84. eye colour: Brown 85. favourite movie: Kingsman, Les Mis (2012), The Theory of Everything

This is a hella long questionnaire but I’m tagging @maebmad @returnofthemadking @sunny-day-sky @raventaire because I’m nosy and oversharing is fun