#ERMMM UHMMM???

[spaciebabie]

pspsps

HELLO???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

HELLO HI ERM I WAS NOT EXPECTING THIS IN MY INBOX WHEN YU SAID YOU SENT ME SOMETHING I-

ERM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOSD

[sealbee101]

i watched at least 20 metalocalypse youtube compilations i think im ready hello metalocalypse

v more undah duh cut + close upss

[flashdoesahundredyarddash]

Stargazing Lovers

extra... made it my pfp...

kinda blurry...

it's okay...

[kindercelery]

Sigh

Bored, so I'm starting a thing :D

Show some of your hearmeouts/fictional crushes

Here's mine :3

Tagging:

@st4rl3ssv01d

@marmalad3-jar

@kokushibosbestie

@internetgiraffekid1673

@slushiethecryptid

@pamithebunterfly2007

@silly-lesb21

@in3edcoff3e

@crystalline-loptous (Ik you said you don't have any fictional crushes, but I still wanted to tag you, so you can do favourite characters if you want :3)

+ Anyone else willing to share

[timewizard-oldman]

me & the mutuals right neow

[puppetlooselystrung]

does anyone know if we have to do it scared for 2024

[oonessawness]

Been working on commissions alot but heres my boy Yancy cause I feel like I haven't drawn him in forever :> + tanktop bc uhmmm i like men. (old art that inspired me to redraw him under the cut!!)

I also have a shirtless version of the new one so ermmm if anyone wants to see it ill tack it onto a reblog ^_^...

[sidbaralover]

-phone sex ft.bokuto

bokuto koutarou x male reader

tags ; bottom male reader , mention of sex toys , timeskip bokuto , ERMMM THE MAN MILK GOT ON HIS PHONE , reader is amab

eversince bokuto became a professional volleyball player , you and him had spend less time and only messaged and call each other, he misses you as much as you miss him , for this night he decided to have a video call with you because he told you that he will take a break for tommorow . After waiting for a while you finally heard a vibration from your phone and immediately picked it up . "HEY BABBYYYYY I MISSEDDDS YOUUUUUU !!" bokuto screamed through the phone as he saw that you picked up . "Awww bo , I miss you as well" you grin as you saw how happy the guy with frosted tips is to see you . "Sooo how was your match today ??" You asked as bokuto looked really excited to tell you about his day . "aaaaahhh !! Today was soo stressful yet fun !!" Bokuto began to tell you about his day as you both giggled at some silly accidents that happened , you really did enjoy hearing him talk about his day. Suddenly bokuto had a sneaky grin on his face . "Hey babe, check the mail box" bokuto sounded really sneaky , your probably thinking if he's plotting a prank on you or it's really fun suprise . You saw a medium-sized boxed infront of your door step . You brought it inside of your room as bokuto's smirk got wider . "now open it baby" he said as his voice got a bit deeper . "Uhmmm okay then" you raised your eyebrow as you opened the box . Looks like bokuto bought you a pink dildo with a note on the side saying "use it when you miss me :)" . "SUPRISEEE !! I BOUGHT IT THE SAME SIZE AS ME AS WELL !!" you were shocked that it was exactly the same size as him . "Fuck , even imagining you riding that thing gets me fucking hard" Bokuto gently stroked his hard member as you were still in shock that it was exactly the same size as him . You noticed bokuto was already jerking his wood to the thought of you riding that dildo . "Already ?!" You said with a surprised tone in your voice as Bokuto continued to stroke his shaft as he imagines your tight hole around his cock . "my bad , I can't just help but imagined that cute ass on my shaft baby , come on , how bout you show me how you ride that thing for me , please " , you sighed as you place the toy on your shower wall , but before you impale yourself on the toy , you lubed yourself up . You began to impale yourself on the dildo as you let out a whimper , your eyes rolling back as the toy hits your prostate , you began jerking your cock as you began to whimper bokuto's name . "Damn baby , you looks so darn cute , ughhh I wish you were here so I can ram that boy cunt of yours " Bokutos words made you stroke your shaft a bit more faster. The thought of bokuto ramming your boy hole made you shoots strings of man milk out of your member . Bokuto also came as he accidentally covered his screen in his own white liquid , breathing heavily he noticed how messy his phone is . "Holy shit , it got on my phone , I feel so lucky that i have you in my life baby" . After that hot session you just had with bokuto through the phone , you both chatted for a bit and fell asleep on call.

AAAAAAAAA , I giggled a bit while writing this JAJSHSGHAJAJAJ

-fixed a bit of my grammar hehe ! (There was more typos than I thought ..)

[fennecfiree]

uhhh uhhh uhmmm ermmm

[chondrichthyes-x-mantodea]

Not a feminist post but I genuinely fucking hate reddit.

You'll post something in an animal subreddit about losing a pet and the mods delete your post. Cesspool of edgelords

It's like this picture, but I posted something in the aquarium subreddit about how I was thinking of giving up the hobby because I lost my pleco I've raised from an inch long in a freak accident. I do online college so I'm lonely, I just wanted understanding from similar people but I get "UHMMM MA'AM THIS IS ABOUT KEEPING AQUARIUMS" "ERMMM PLEASE NO VENTING IN GENERAL" like all of you should genuinely kys.

I hope Peryite haunts all of you mfs lord knows she would. I miss her

Edit: Thank you, guys, for the support. She was such an amazing fish. Im on the road to recovery, but it's gonna be a long one. I found her at Petsmart, and she had accidentally been shipped with giant danios, so they let me have her for free. Im attaching a picture of the sassy lady. This was before I glued rocks on the pvc pipe

[toxycodone]

genital headcannons for :

Falin

Laios

Chilchuck

Toshiro

Namari

Venery

Thistle

Falin definitely has a penis, I think hers is probably the biggest out of Laios' party? Namari definitely packs, I would let her peg me for hours omg..... she could ruin me. Ermmm.. Chilchuck probably has a big cock for a halfling, he's fucking TALL !!!! bro has to be packing something. Also shaved or not shaved... Namari body hair everywhere OMG I need her to shove my face into her bush I need to smell her. Sorry I'm being a little too straight (? I am a man but this feels gay idk) ... anyway chil, Namari, and Falin are unshaved, full bush down there. I feel like Toshiro at his best keeps everything trimmed !! but when he can't even shave his face when he's at his lowest... bro wouldn't have the energy to take care of it. Hmm and then Laios could be either way..?? We know he shaves his face and keeps his hair short bc he doesn't wanna look like his dad, but would he even think of shaving his pubes????? Idk. Wait is this a weird thing to think about? Oh wait do elves grow body hair??? I feel like thistle would have some body hair if it's possible, I feel like they can't... unless my DND 5e knowledge is getting mixed with uhmmm. What is it called... DUNGEON MESHI I think I'm starting to dissociate I'm going to stop typing lmfao

FALIN - GIRLCOCK. Whether you are a trans!Falin fan or what, in my eyes after the red dragon thing. She gets girl cock. I can see this as either like, a penis or like T-dick. Whatever you decide. But whatever it is her situation is definitely unique. Also she got a bush frfr

Laios - COCK. (I am also a trans!Laios fan so like. He can have anything in his pants it don’t matter imma eat it but usually when I write him it’s cock). His dick is as painfully average as he is. Not crazy length wise but he got some girth to it. I’m thinking like. 5 inches frfr. Maybe 6 but that’s generous imo. No manscaping just vibes he’s full bush down there. And body hair on his chest/legs/arms and around his groin

Chilchuck - OKAY. His dick is probably like more similar to an average tallman penis. Which is remarkable considering he’s like half their size. I’m gonna give him four inches and he’s breaking other halflings in half with it but with other races. He’s learned how to use it. Chilchuck is a real one. Light on body hair, but would keep it tidy when he’s not in the dungeon (I think he likes to manscape and like. Appreciate himself in the mirror lol)

Toshiro - He is ALL length and so embarrassed about it. (Def afraid he’s gonna hurt you.) He could learn to love it with a supportive partner though. I think for a while he’s rocking bush because like, yknow. That stuff isn’t really talked about…but he figured it out for himself that when he takes his time and shaves and stuff after a anything or whatever he’ll do some trimming down there because he likes the neatness. I like to think he grows body hair but it’s not super dark for some reason (besides on his face people get jealous at the beard he can grow)

Namari - SHE IS JUST LIKE ME I GET HER VIBE SO WHAT IM SAYING HERE IS CANON: SHE HAS CRAZY PUSS BUT IS ALWAYS ROCKING THE STRAP. Namari doesn’t let anyone fuck her hole unless they’re in a committed relationship (she does not play about that either if you insert anything in her sex is over). Insane with the strap too. She’s someone I can genuinely see breaking the bed with her strokes. Also she’s got body hair for days. Like other Dwarf women she can grow a beard too but she usually shaves. (Namari with stubble…I’m bout to go feral.)

Venery - Started off with a human vagina. Now it’s some weird mix between that + hyena + dragon cock. I think he’s canonically intersex due to the ancient magic. But he’s happy about it. Also UHHHHHH…..HE LAYS EGGS. JS.

Thistle - Okay Thistle is so trans to me I think he gives himself top surgery when he’s getting older with ancient magic. He leaves the downstairs area alone because he’s fine with just presenting masc that’s good enough for him. Very low body hair he just sits in the middle of gender ambiguous for REAL.

[5weetmeat]

so many people started following me recently.... ermmm uhmmm uhmm uhm ummm ermm hi hello hi please dont hit me

*runs away on all fours like a wolf*

[s-w-a-g]

Rui scribble 💔💔 uhmmm idk 🚬 drew this with my finger and it’s lowkey uglyyyyyyy ermmm idc!!!!! (Random thought but I hate expectations for art especially styles. Let me draw how I want to draw I don’t care if it’s ugly to you!!!! 🥰🥰) Kiss kiss or wtvr have an epik day.

[rene-01]

Uhmmm ermmm just a lil sumsum while I continue to do requests !1!1!1

(Tried a new brush with this one!:3)

[peridotlapis]

Ermmm uhmmm stex oc!!

Her name is high roller and shes electras casino truck

GIRLFRIENDS

[oscconfessions]

🍬 a small headcanon of mine is that if salt tipped over and lost too much of her salt, she would get a sickness similar to oj when he lost his juice. (it would make sense to me if oj's condition was similar to hypoglycemia, so i guess hers would be similar to hyponatremia?) pepper is constantly reminding her to keep her cap screwed on tightly because she's seen her trip, lose her cap, and spill everything multiple times. if you want to go the saltpep route maybe uhmmm maybe eehhmmm maybe ermmm pepper sweeps salt up in her arms after she sees her spill and holds her tenderly and sits her down on a couch or something and gently rests her head in her lap and takes care of her until she finds enough salt to replace what she lost. no homo though. who said that

.