#ESPECIALLY knowing that people like that are actually hurting people with legitimate service animals

[cerastes]

I gotta say, after rewatching oregairu after all these years made me realize how flawed Hikki's thinking is and I've only just now understood how much effort it took to change himself. Iroha still the best in my book so thank you for your service.

That’s exactly the thing. Hachiman has a really, really flawed worldview which is at first celebrated just as that kind of worldview usually is in romcoms (or... Light Novels in general, really) with a bitter, broken protagonist who has supposedly grown tougher, calloused, wiser, better from their poor experiences.

This immediately is subverted when the narrative shows you that, no, none of these bitter, broken “solutions” Hachiman has put forth have done anything to actually mend the situation. He does one of two things: 1) Hard reset a social situation to a neutral level by making people be enemies or at least neutral with each other by artificially causing a situation that leads to that outcome, thus sending it back to the status quo’s zone of comfort without actually addressing the tension (this is important), or 2) Make himself the object of others’ hatred in order to unite them against him, immediately but artificially building a bond between them.

Do you see the pattern? Early!Hachiman relies entirely on artificially manipulating the bonds between people. Need to break up a conflict between two friends? Just make it so they are not friends anymore, bam, they don’t need to fight anymore. Need to unite a group that’s having a hard time cooperating? Just give them a common enemy, bam, now they hate Hachiman, that unites them. 

The narrative makes it very clear that this is bad. Hachiman gave short term solutions to the problems, but he didn’t solve the problems. Hachiman thinks its fine if he’s the boogieman for all that happens because he says he can take it and no one really will care if it’s him, but he’s very obviously affected by it, especially when he realizes there’s people that care about him. Early!Hachiman is so convinced of his own worthlessness that it was completely shocking for him to hear Yuigahama and Yukinoshita express concern for him and for them to plead him to stop doing this already. His initial thoughts were that they didn’t agree with his way of solving things simply because they were too “idealistic” and he was too “wise and above-it-all”, his solutions were too much for their basic high school kid brains. It never once crossed his mind that they were in pain from having to see him in pain. It never once crossed his mind that they were concerned about him as a person and as their friend. It never once crossed his mind that they actually were close enough to show concern for each other, simply because he was so convinced of his own worthlessness that his train of thought was “obviously no one would want ME as a friend, so I shouldn’t trouble them with this”. For him, distancing himself from others is the considerate thing to do because he doesn’t want to trouble them with his presence.

It’s at this point that it becomes immensely and deliciously clear how unreliable a narrator Hachiman is: He is not tougher, he is not calloused, he is not wiser, he is not better, he is hurt. He did NOT benefit from being hurt, he did NOT become superior from his wounds, and that’s what I really, really love about Oregairu: It doesn’t romanticize pain. It humanizes pain to the point where it becomes legitimately uncomfortable for the reader/watcher. I know people that had to take a break from the novels and from Season 2 of the anime because it got too real and too tense, it hit too close home. 

We all enjoy self-indulgent media, and I think that’s fine. Pick your poison: Self-inserts, overpowered MCs, harem genre, even light novels about protagonists that are better than others because of their wounds and their pain. We all enjoy at least one of those. But I think it’s amazing and, dare I say, genius to make a subversion of the genre like Oregairu did: Nope, pain didn’t make Hachiman better, it’s what’s holding him back, we’re not going to glorify it, as if to give it a special sort of meaning and vindication in escapist media. Hachiman’s character arc is about rising above the pain, not embracing it as a ‘power’.

Your pain is not invalid and it can indeed create advantages. It has for Hachiman, some of his small victories come indeed from his pain and what he has learned from it, but ultimately, it’s a small plus in an ocean of minuses.

And that brings us to the shifting point: “I want something genuine”.

The boy that prided himself in artificially breaking and creating bonds between people comes to the realization that, no, this isn’t right, this is all a sham. He wants to drop that artificiality, he wants to discard it, he wants something genuine. He’s tired of pretending his pain made him stronger, his pain hurts, his pain was never in past tense, his pain is still present, he wants it out.

It’s a roller coaster, it hits fast and it hits hard and it hits close home, but that’s what makes it so good. To see this tangible change and to be able to see a story that, for once, doesn’t glorify trauma and instead addresses it as the terrible thing it is, it’s liberating in more ways than I can possibly describe to you in words.

[simpingforthisonedeer]

Chapter 9: Tempestuous II

Summary: Julius finds Aika in the Wizard King's study; One of the important reasons for Aika's hesitance is discovered; And there's a five-leaf grimoire👀👀

Notes: 

- completely SFW

- 4k words, a relatively short read compared to my other chapters agfdsghfjhl. - There are also more clues as to what Julius is and I give you one letter. If you figure it out from just that, I will legitimately shit myself. - I introduce an original character who is Marx's older brother and like all side characters, he is important.

- Be sure to check the notes at the end and enjoy (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

Aika sat down on her most favourite sofa in the Wizard King’s study with a sigh and a cup of tea. She had just finished tearing down all the talisman stuck to the shelves and walls that prevented anyone from detecting the room and noticing the door from the actual office which was also covered by a painting. She had her personal books in a few dozen stacks around her, ready to be shoved into her backpack but she decided to take a small break.

She could faintly hear the muffled discussion on the other side of the wall of Julius apologizing profusely to someone named “Marx.” Aika had recently confirmed it was Marx Francois, Julius’ advisor and attendant. He may not know her, but Aika knew him well enough. His older brother, Karl Francois, is the president of her company and a close friend of hers and he would sometimes tell her about his brother.

Aika sighed contentedly into her cup. She should have tea with him sometime, especially since she doesn't have her amulet to walk around the castle without scrutiny. She did vaguely remember Karl mentioning that Marx liked black tea.

She turned to the door leading to the office curiously when all became quiet. She heard a door swing shut and some sound of shuffling on the other side of the wall and the door in front of her slammed open.

“Aika!” The invader exclaimed. Her heart jumped when she realized owner of the voice.

“Julius,” she greeted cordially. “I suppose Master Raymond told you about the hidden study?”

He rubbed the back of his head.

“Well, not really. I asked him where I could find you. That’s when he told me about the study.”

She hummed in response. So, he was thinking about her.

“Good. Would you like a cup of tea while you tell me how the banquet went?” She asked politely as she patted the sofa next to her.

“No, no, no,” he shook his head as he strode to where she sat. “You are going to answer my questions.” He plopped down next to her a respectable distance away but still too close. She expected him to sit on the other end of the sofa, not directly next to her. She calmed herself as she served him tea.

“First of all, why are you wearing that?” Julius asked, pointing in the general direction of her face. Aika turned to him curiously as she handed him the tea.

“The wha—Oh.” Right, she was wearing a silk blindfold. Sometimes her eyes hurt and become sensitive to light because she had them open for too long. She used Mana Zone often and completely forgot. She couldn’t properly work in this state but it did allow her to organize her thoughts and meditate.

“My eyes hurt,” she answered simply. 

“But you are moving like you can see…” he murmured to himself. “Are you using Mana Zone? I heard that most blind people are quite adept at using it to do their day-to-day tasks.”

Oh, Aika knew that very well. She was blind for a year when she was around 20 and had practically used Mana Zone every waking moment. Due to the ritual she did that made her blind, she had also gained a weak form of clairvoyance, so she could still perceive things around her as if it were normal when she combined it with Mana Zone. The only downsides were that she couldn’t see color.

“Yes,” she answered, wincing internally at the cold tone. While she wanted to keep him at an arm’s length, she didn’t want to seem rude.

“I see, I see,” he nodded to himself, thankfully unfazed. “Tell me more about your company!”

“Well,” she began as she crossed her legs and slipped off her blindfold.

When Aika turned to him, his breath caught. In the dim firelight of the study, her eyes still seemed to glow on their own. His vision seemed to grow sharper and he could count every speck in her eye. He felt his mouth go dry. Oh, there was nothing Julius wanted more than to be held by her again.

She regarded him with a puzzled expression.

“Are you alright?”

“Y-Yes, Aika. I’m fine.” He looked away as he took a rejuvenating sip of tea.

“Okay, so, I started my company as a means to gather intelligence and sell it. We have agents called Eyes & Ears and they basically gather vital information about any and everything and a lot of times it includes spy work. So we also do private investigations and some mercenary work. But that seemed too limiting, so I expanded my horizons into research and education. My R&D department creates magic items and medical practices that would support their local communities and every few years, they collaborate on department-wide projects that are for the benefit of all.” Aika smiled, amused at the way he hung on to her every word.

“We have intensive job training programs of all kinds and we even started a healthcare program a few years ago for our employees but my biggest project right now is to actually make that sort of healthcare public because it's very affordable and our employees have been a big fan of it. But it’s hard because of different countries' laws so I have to go make a lot of appeals with certain Kings and Queens.”

He leaned forward, genuinely interested.

“How do you keep it affordable? Is there a way you could implement that kind of healthcare here in the forsaken realm?”

“Well, we have an exploration department that has multiple guilds across the world in countries where dungeon-diving by private citizens is allowed and taxes are relatively forgiving. This is where we sometimes get most of our revenue. But of course, we also have investors—Arthur is one—and so we try to provide the best services to both our employees and clients.” She touched her chin thoughtfully. “Well, we could institute our kind of hospitals but Clover Kingdom isn’t lacking in healing mages. We mainly use medical practices and technology because the areas we are targeting are places with weak or no magic and have no way to afford or access.”

“So, perhaps we should rearrange the concentration of healing mages in the common and noble realm then.”

“Yeah, well, healing mages are quite rare even in a magic-rich country like Clover Kingdom. It’s also a big problem that everyone here are magic dependent. This kingdom is quite behind on technology, innovation, medical practices and knowledge compared to the rest of the world. And to top it all off, Clover Kingdom maintains no foreign relations outside of the continent so there is no flow of information in. We would have to educate a lot of people in potion-making and using magical items and mundane tools to heal or treat ailments but like I said, Clover Kingdom is behind on education,” Aika ranted as she frowned. She caught the intrigued look on Julius’s face and pressed a gloved hand to her forehead as she apologized.

“Sorry, I meant no offense—”

“No, no, I’m not offended at all,” He said, waving her off. “I’ve simply never considered that point of view.” He gave her a wry smile. “And what you do seems really cool. Though, it sounds like a lot of work.”

She smiled faintly as she set her cup down and leaned her head back against the sofa. She needed to calm down and stop.

“It is, but I have a lot of time on my hands.”

Julius snorted.

“I’m sure you do,” he retorted softly as mirrored her and rested his head right next to hers.

“It’s fulfilling work too,” she said lowly. He hummed in response.

“Master Raymond told me you used to use this study as your office space but now you’re leaving,” he remarked as he looked around.

“Uncle Ray isn’t the studious type but I could tell you are. You would certainly want to use this space.”

“I would,” he admitted, turning his head to face her. “but you don’t have to leave.”

Aika peered at him from the corner of her eye.

“We could both use this space, Aika.”

“Julius…”

“You have really good advice and a different perspective that could be helpful in the future. I’d like to keep you close.”

“You already have an actual advisor. I’m just a consultant.” 

“Marx? He sees my vision, he understands it but he is a conformist, you are not.”

“Julius,” she began as she sat up. “I’m really flattered but I cannot move as freely around the castle anymore. No one here knows I exist.” And if he insisted on spending some time around her everyday, it could be disastrous.

“What do you mean?”

“My Amulet of Ignorance broke during battle and I like to be private. No one in this castle knows me and even if they did, they forgot.”

“You had an Amulet of Ignorance? Those are pretty rare!” Julius exclaimed, his eyes blown wide. She paused when she caught his gaze. Even though violet was a common color for eyes, she realized that his were the most beautiful ones she had ever seen. She realized she wanted a repeat of earlier today when he leaned into her touch and his lashes fanned his cheeks as he sighed with a serene smile.

“I know, and really expensive too.” Aika stood up abruptly and walked to the long desk facing the windows. She caught the purple light of the Wisteria trees sifting through the window panes and focused on clearing her mind. The more she looked at him, listened to him, the more painful it was. Because she wanted to be near him more than anything, but she couldn’t.

She needed to get out.

“It’s the terrifying ordeal of being known.” He laid an arm on her shoulder and she stiffened instinctively. His touch both burned and soothed her. “I completely understand, but don’t you think it’s time to step into the light and get credit for what you do? Like that spell you did on the battlefield?”

“No,” Aika asserted cooly as she shrugged his hand off. “I’m not looking for credit or glory.” 

Once upon a time, she sought glory, but it only left her shoulders heavy with medals and her chest hollow. She was tempted to let the scars stay too as a reminder that glory is empty but she decided to be kinder on herself so she could move on.

If someone gave her credit, great. If not, that’s also fine.

“But don’t you get tired of hiding?”

Yes, but if she had to deal with people more, that would be dangerous for everyone. It was better to be ignored and forgotten than to turn people into hateful creatures.

“What do you mean ‘turn people into hateful creatures?’” Julius asked curiously, he voice steeped in concern.

Aika whipped around. Did she seriously say that out loud? No. He was using Truth Magic. How dare he?

“You should know better than to use Truth Magic when you are trying to have a genuine conversation, Julius .” She stated deliberately, her mana rising around her.

“It’s hard to have a genuine conversation when the other person insists on hiding,” he retorted swiftly as his face turned to ice, masking his surprise at how she had caught on.

She snapped.

“It’s because I don’t want to publicize the fact that I exude so much negative mana that it turns people evil, okay?!” 

She pushed past him.

“Please.” Julius caught her by her forearms and swiveled her around to face him. The words caught in his throat at the sheer vulnerability on her face. “Please, I don’t want to ruin you,” she breathed, her voice cracking. Aika clenched her jaw as she held her tears at bay. “You are so good,” she lifted her gaze to meet his’. “So pure.”

Her words sent shivers up his spine as he carefully regarded her. Did she somehow know? No, that can't be, or she would have never insisted on maintaining distance.  Weg magic doesn’t affect him. That was the plain and simple truth. It was why he was so curious about it in the first place. He knew why it doesn’t affect him, but the world didn’t need to know.

Julius watched the way her lower lip trembled, eyes glassy with unshed tears and yearning as plain as day.

He needed to reassure her while keeping his secret.

“You think so little of me that I would be affected by it?” He murmured with a light tone.

“You think so little of my knowledge of my own condition that I wouldn’t know who it affects and who it doesn’t?” Aika snapped weakly. “Strength does not matter. It only doesn’t affect other forbidden magic users and certain species of non-humans.”

Non-humans. The words kept ringing in his head. 

Non-human. Non-human. Not-human.

“Your mother died so your half-breed arse could live!” His drunken father screamed as a glass shattered next to his head, shards pricking his scalp and cheek. 

“Don’t ever dare insinuate that your mother never loved you,” his voice came in a dangerous whisper. “You disgusting little N—”

 “Julius?”

He blinked quickly as he sought his bearings. His hands were clenching on her arms so tightly, he was sure Aika was in pain. He could feel sweat rolling down his cheeks. Or was it tears?

“Sorry,” he murmured as he blinked again, this time clearing his head.

No, he was human. And he was going to save all the humans in Clover Kingdom and bring them peace.

He rubbed her arms lightly as he healed her and slid his hands up to her shoulders.

“It won’t affect me,” Julius said plainly as his lips quirked up into a hesitant smile.

She looked at him dubiously. She just said that only— Oh. Is that how it is?  

“Why?” she asked as she sniffled, not expecting the truth.

“It’s simply the nature of my magic,” he answered vaguely. 

That could mean either thing but he could simply be saying that just because. Why does he keep on insisting? She was really not playing hard to get.

“Julius, that isn’t going to convince me. It has real effects. Why are you trying so hard when I am pushing you away?”

His eyes softened as he smiled in amusement.

“Is it so hard to believe that I might like you?”

“Yes?” She asked as if it was obvious. “I was literally rude to you on so many occasions.”

“I’m used to prickly characters.” He rebuffed with a wink.

Her shoulders relaxed slightly as she let out an embarrassing snort. She hung her head to hide the growing smile on her face.

“That doesn’t mean you should tolerate it,” Aika murmured half-heartedly. 

Julius laughed.

“Maybe not,” he murmured as he pulled her into a hug. Her face pressed up against the fur of his cape, tickling her nose as her hands hovered hesitantly around his waist. 

“But I’m very patient.”

After a moment of deliberation, she wrapped her arms around him and nestled into his chest. She will allow herself this one moment. 

Julius made a noise of contentment at the back of his throat as he pressed his cheek to her hair.

“Does this mean you’ll give me a chance?” he asked hopefully.

Aika pulled back and looked up at him with a deadpan look.

“No, there is still a lot you don’t know about me.”

“But, I want to learn—”

She shook her head and looked away.

“You don’t understand. The reason why I’m not convinced is because—” Should she even tell him? It might be a little too much. It was the reason why she was so scared and cautious about the effects her magic has on people.

“Because what?”

Ah, screw it.

“Because after Holly spent a week with me, she clawed Arthur’s face off and tore off my right arm,” she whispered under her breath.

“What? ” So that was the reason why she was so apprehensive. That...was actually understandable.

“She got irritable after 3 days and her behaviour kept escalating until she was outright hostile...She doesn’t remember of course. We had her memory erased after we restrained her,” Aika explained as stepped away from him, exhaustion sufusing through her. But Julius stopped her and took her gloved hands in his.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” he spoke softly as he squeezed her hand. What happened to her was horrible. “You don’t have to keep away from people, least of all me.” He straightened his shoulders, his eyes determined. “I am telling you with utmost confidence that it won’t affect me.”

One part of her was tempted to refuse anyway but his insistence made her curious. Is it bullheaded confidence or was he truly something else like Arthur pointed out or was his interest in weg magic not so innocent after all?

As she weighed the pros and cons, the more curious she got. Aika really wanted to know what the deal with Julius was, and if worst comes to worst, well, Karl Francois was an expert memory mage. She could erase her existence and it will be like this all never happened.

“Fine.”

Julius lit up at her response.

“I will give you one month time to prove that it truly won’t affect you.”

One month was a reasonable enough time for them to notice any effects. He most likely won’t spend all his time with her like Holly did and he will probably use mana skin to protect himself. And only then will she think about it.

“Thank you!” He exclaimed before he engulfed her into another hug. She could feel the relief coursing through him as he smiled into the crook of her neck. She shivered at the feel of his lips and nose and the way his lashes fluttered against her pulse.

Julius gently cradled her face as he pulled back and Aika melted in his hold despite herself. She could allow herself to be if he truly didn’t turn on her. He brushed her cheek with his thumb, making her look up at him. His eyes were like the darkest part of the sunset where the stars shone and the birds flew. She wanted him to keep looking at her like that. 

He angled his face as he slowly closed his eyes and Aika was mesmerized yet conflicted.

She wouldn’t be able to stop if his lips touched hers.

“Julius, stop,” she wanted to say but the words were stuck in her throat. She could feel herself giving into the feeling, the falling sensation as it swept through her. His touch burned with something she couldn’t describe but it set her free. Clarity flooded her senses, washing away her fatigue. Perhaps it was time to seek the light again.

Aika, no, stop, wait, wait, wait.

“Miss Aika!” Jayce crowed as the double doors from the main hallway to the study flew open. “We found a five-leaf grim—” Ellie, Evan and Jayce took three steps into the room before they halted to a stop at the scene in front of them.

The Wizard King and their boss, pressed up against each other, hair's-breadth away from a kiss.

Jayce slapped a hand over his mouth.

Ellie grabbed onto his and Evan’s collar as they scrambled backwards. She quickly shut the door as she threw an apologetic look at Aika’s burning face who disentangled herself from the king’s arms.

The room echoed with a bang and silence followed. 

Julius burst out laughing as he rubbed the back of his head.

“That was embarrassing!”

“Very,” Aika groaned into her hands. He took her hands once again and pulled her close. “You should go finish your paperwork. I have to talk to them about their mission,” she sighed as Julius placed kisses on her knuckles. She withdrew her hands as she took a step back, her heart twinging at the hurt glimmering in his eyes once again.

“I’d like for us to be friends in the meantime.”

“Do you truly like me?” Julius asked suddenly. Aika was taken aback by that.

“What do you mean? Of course I do.”

“Because, like you said, are you keeping your distance because you are trying to let me down slowly?”

Anger shot up her spine. In a second, she was a hair’s-breadth away once again, face cocked to the side. Julius parted his lips, half-surprised, half-expectant but she only stayed agonizingly close.

“Are you insinuating that I am lying to you about my reasons?” Her voice came lowly.

“No, but—”

“Good, so as long as we can conclusively say that I can’t affect you, I will keep my distance.” He blushed at her heated look. “Because even I cannot resist temptation itself.”

Julius took a stuttered breath as he stepped back this time. Oh, god.

“Understood.” He cleared his throat as Aika suppressed a smile. “I will, ah,” he motioned vaguely at the door behind him. “Go do my paperwork.”

As if.

He walked away to the door and looked back one last time. She had her arms crossed as she worried her lower lip.

“Goodnight.” She waved with a reassuring smile. He echoed her as the corner of his lip quirked up. 

He could be patient.

The door clicked shut and the world grew quiet in Aika's head for one still moment...Before adrenaline rushed through her veins, buckling her knees and knocking the air out of her.

Holy shit.

That interaction had taken more out of her than anything. It’s been years since she had any complex, romantic interactions and god, the yearning was exhausting.

Aika stumbled over to the cold tea on the low table in front of the sofas and picked up the cup as she took deep, slow breaths. She waved her hand over it and rewound time to make it warmer. She took a big sip as her heart finally began to calm down. She silently padded over to the main doors and swiftly pired one open. 

Surprisingly enough, the three were not listening in. They were instead gathered in a small circle, talking in low voices.

“This bird had some nerve yanking my hair,” Ellie growled.

“What’s going on?”

Evan and Jayce moved out of the way when they heard Aika, revealing a little anti-bird with an impossibly bored expression resting on Ellie’s cupped hand. She raised a brow at that. The three of them are fairly powerful mages, with Ellie and Jayce being stage 2 while Evan was an arcane stage. So, why was an anti-bird so comfortable in their presence?

“This anti-bird kept following us from Hage, miss,” Jayce groused as he poked it on its head. She walked closer so she could inspect it. She reached out a hand but it evaded her as it flew up and perched on Evan’s head.

“You are weakened but you still have more mana than us?” Ellie asked incredulously.

Aika shook her head and waved them in. She settled back down on the couch as she crossed her legs imperiously. She watched in mild amusement while they carefully inspected the room like the Wizard King was going to pop out from somewhere. She stared down Jayce as he held back a blush, no doubt about the scene earlier, but he shook his head, reassuring her that he wouldn’t say anything. But, she knew that they would thoroughly interrogate her after they were done.

They soon lined up in front of her, backs straight and eyes sharp as they pressed a hand over their hearts and bowed low in a salute as protocol required before they could report to her. While she understood the need for ceremony, they were personally close to her so she had asked them to skip it in the past, but they insisted anyway, saying that it made them feel more like grown-ups.

Ellie was the first to speak up.

“We spent some time inspecting the abandoned cottage like you asked us to.”

“And we have some good news, strange news, and stranger news,” Jayce continued after her.

Aika threw back the last sip of tea and stared at the tea leaves at the bottom of the cup as she half-heartedly attempted to divine from them.

“What is the good news?”

“The good news is that Master Raymond and Lady Lydia had successfully moved into your home without any issues, though they did talk of maybe doing renovations.”

“Good.” She set her cup down with a ‘clink.’ “The strange news?” She breathed out as she reclined, resting her temple against the palm of her hand while she leaned on her elbow.

“Master Raymond wanted us to give you a letter from one Arian Silva, which is supposedly an invitation to tea tomorrow if your schedule allows it.”

Jayce handed her a wax-sealed letter. She noted that the seal was red, meaning that it was a formal letter, which was just the usual.

Aika flicked the seal open and skimmed the letter. It was indeed an invitation to tea and he simply wanted to speak to her about that day on the battlefield. 

Yes, quite simple. She thought as a headache began to grow.

“And the stranger news?” She asked, her eyes still wearily glued to the paper in her hand. She looked up curiously when no one said anything.

The anti-bird on Evan’s head seemed to glare daggers at her as he sifted through his cloak. He whipped out a small potato sack and emptied out its contents onto the table between them.

It was a musty, decrepit-looking grimoire, dark in color with no discernable symbol on the cover. She picked it up and immediately felt something off about it.

“We investigated the abandoned cottage and we believe it may be at most 5 years since anyone had occupied it and you were right, there were traces of a lot of forbidden magic,” Evan confirmed.

Aika wiped the cover where she knew a symbol would be and her jaw nearly dropped at the abnormal clover formation.

“We believe we found a five-leafed grimoire.”

Notes:  

- Yes, I think I'm funny naming Marx's older brother "Karl" LMAOOOO His name was actually supposed to be "Anwir" so make what you will of it👀 - That lil tidbit of Aika being blind for a year and being sensitive to light is important to remember👀

- That is sweat rolling down his cheeks lmaooo I’m not going to make him cry(yet) - Homegirl manifested a whole intervention LMAOOOOO - Nero doesn't avoid Aika bc she has any mana, no, she's avoiding Aika bc she can feel the forbidden magic coming off of her and knows that Aika will find out Nero is human the moment she touches her.

[moontheoretist]

Today's episode of Ikebukuro West Gate Park - the anime which tackles various social issues of immigration, racism, drugs - was especially important, because it raised the issues which single mothers face in society like Japan. I dare say that even in my own country being a single mother is still looked upon even though there is as many single parent households now as there is the ones with two parents present. Statistics went up, but people still look down on people, especially women who raise children alone. Those comments which were shown in the episode reeked of misogyny and sexism of people who do not understand that women most of the time do not even have a choice. That there is often no access to abortion or contraception. That woman can be stopped by the law itself from "not having children" or that she may choose to have the kid and her choice should be respected, and she should be supported by the government, especially if she was in a relationship and partner just run away. They don’t understand that men are often the cause of the single parenting in the case of single mothers for various reasons and that blaming a woman for having a child or not having time to pay attention 24/7 and protect the child from harm, because she needs time for herself is cruel and short-sighted. Those people do not know how it is to be a single parent. I do not know either, but I am at least a child of a single parent just like Makoto, so I know how it looks like. How parent has to depend on help from other people to provide oversight and protection for a kid and even then the accidents may happen. Blaming a woman is always easier for those assholes though. I am completely with Kyouichi on this. Let's beat them all up for good measure if they cannot listen to reason.

Japan and a lot of other countries has a raging issues with misogyny and lack of understanding of the situation of a woman and it needs proper attention, so I am happy that this anime decided to show this issue along the other ones it portrays. I don't exactly know how modern Japan looks, but there are things like those which you just know exist and you just know they are the issue in the society in which rape culture was so prevalent that society needed to create a separate cart for women in train to protect them from harassment and assault.

I like how they condemned guys who use women and force them into the sex industry, but I dunno what to think about the slight insinuation that working in sex industry is bad. I am not really sure, but I dunno if Makoto was scolded because he didn't understand how bad being forced into sex industry was or because he said that sex industry is a legitimate job. It's true that men and women look at the sex industry differently, but it's purely social thing, not something which is an actual fact, but something which is taught like that to people. We are taught to look at certain things in certain way and we most often than not are taught that sex industry is the worst of the worst things someone may do, even if they enjoy doing it and it was thir choice all along. Men in the meantime often profit and use this service, so they look at it from the perspective of potential clients who are taught the social stigma. They would never date the prostitute, because "she is used goods" to those men, but they would still use the service if they want and can afford it, because it was made for them. Of course it is not only industry for men, there are also men who work in sex industry and provide services for customers regardless of gender, but you know what I mean.

Outside of my mixed feelings about sex industry topic, I like that they showed how abuse is born. That more often than not abuse comes out of the place of frustration and abandonment. Comes from a human being side of ourselves which just cannot take the world anymore and uses violence to cope. Nobody says that hitting a child is good, because of course it aren't, no matter your reason. But understanding of the abuse is important. Because abusers aren't always a vile evil super villains who trive when they hurt others and recognizing that they are people who cope badly with their own life situation and helping them is an important way in which we actually dismantle and depower the abuse. More often than not you won't stop the abuse by just condemning the person and leaving them to their own devices, because "they deserve this for what they did". Something like that will only contribute to them perpetuating the cycle of abuse, because nobody helped them to stop it in the first place. Nobody showed them that there is other way. And I am not saying this to justify abusers. Of course not. Nobody even justified what Yui did. Explaining why she did what she did isn't the same as excusing or justifying. It's just showing understanding of a the suffering of the human being and the abuse born out of helplessness.

There is nobody else than a child of a single mother who can understand that if they weren’t there their parent may have better life. It hurts to think about it, especially if it was told to your face by that very parent, but understanding doesn’t mean forgiveness. It doesn’t mean that your abuse wasn’t real or that you owe your parent something for going through all of that. It just means that you recognize the issue and know that it was not only their doing, that it was the fault of the system in which you were born and that something must be changed. That there has to be something put into place to help people in this situation.

[natsubeatsrock]

So, I’ve been watching RWBY, and...

I think it’s really good. It’s nowhere near perfect, but I’ve enjoyed it a lot. It’s somewhere between an 8 or a 9 out of 10 for me. Unfortunately, I don’t have a whole lot to say about the series itself. I like a lot about it, but none of it is stuff that I feel I can talk about for a long enough period of time to justify making a post about it.

But if we’re talking about RWDE, then I have some things to say about them. A lot of what I’ve done on this blog has revolved around fandom. Regarding Fairy Tail, I’ve believed that, as bad as Mashima could be, fandom could be infinitely worse about things. Though, RWDE strikes me as fascinating and I want to talk about them, given my rather unique experience.

If you don’t know, RWDE makes up a group of people who watch RWBY. They’re vocal critics about nearly every possible aspect of the series. You’ll notice that I don’t say that they’re all fans of the series. While many claim to still be fans of the series, it’s hard to take that seriously in a lot of cases. Some are also involved in toxic actions like harassment of fans and creators... because of course.

Now, this post isn’t an epic takedown of a lot of the ideas espoused by people in RWDE. Frankly, I have basic issues with the conclusions many have come to regarding the series. But I’m not personally interested in going through that. It’s also not a defense of RWDE’s actions towards others involved with the series. Considering what I went through with the Nali messages earlier this year, I don’t have patience for fans who decide to go after real life people for fictional series.

What I am interested in is a defense I’ve seen of RWDE’s existence: it’s totally fine to watch and talk about a show that you don’t love everything about. I’ve seen this a few times on a couple of RWDE posts. Frankly, this isn’t a new idea. I’ve seen this used by people who were critical of Fairy Tail back in the day. However, RWDE presents an interesting challenge to that.

How much can someone dislike a series before they decide to give up on it? And how useful is criticism given from the perspective of someone who hates the object of criticism?

I’ve had a lot of time to think about these questions, especially considering what I’ve been doing regarding Fairy Tail. There was a point in time where I was more critical of Fairy Tail than positive of it. If you read a lot of my posts from mid-2016 to early 2017, I take for granted that Fairy Tail is not a well written series. It hurt, especially considering Fairy Tail was the series that got me into the anime scene in the first place.

However, something had to give. Around the time I was reaching eight thousand posts, I came to two realizations: Fairy Tail was not a well written series and likely never was, but I still enjoyed reading, watching, and talking about it more than a lot of other things. I tried to reconcile the two when I hit the milestone and came to the conclusion that, despite my issues with the series and creator, I still love the series and wasn’t planning on leaving the series.

Of course, since then, I’ve gained a much more positive view of fhe series. A lot of the posts I’ve made since then have involved talking about why the things Mashima did make sense. I’m still willing to say that there are things about Fairy Tail I don’t like and that Mashima made some stupid decisions. However, they aren’t enough to drive me away from fandom or the series.

I don’t know that the same can be said for much of RWDE. A lot of the things I’ve seen said by RWDE tells me that they don’t love RWBY in its current form. They wish that the series were fundamentally different and abhor much of what is currently happening with the series. Given that RWBY is no longer under the direction of its creator, I can understand that to a degree. However, RWDE takes it to a level past sympathy for me.

I don’t think it’s impossible to have fun watching something you don’t enjoy or that you want to criticize. I go through arguments of stuff I don’t like and have fun thinking of how I’m going to rip them apart. I had fun reading stories for the Bye, Bye Lucy series because the tropes were terrible and ubiquitous (I wouldn’t read most of them for story quality unless you paid me).

But after a certain point in time, I feel like it just gets to where it isn’t fun to go through a series. If people get burnt out talking about the things they love, I’m not convinced that talking about something you don’t like can be sustainable for long. A lot of the people I know criticized Fairy Tail have long since left the fandom and don’t care about anything Mashima’s made anymore. I don’t know how long RWDE intends to exist. Even if it remains big up to the end of the series, whenever that will be, I can’t see it lasting for too long after that.

When it comes to their criticism of the series, that I find more fascinating. I’ve held the opinion for years that fandoms should allow for spaces to share both positive and negative opinions of the series without fear of being ostracized. This opinion was forged during a time where saying anything bad about Fairy Tail at its worst earned you the label of “toxic fan”. (It was a simpler time.)

However, a lot of RWDE criticism strikes me as misinformed. Again, RWBY is far from a perfect series. However, a lot of its critics attack it for some of the craziest and nonsensical reasons. Many almost give the impression they didn’t actually watch the show attentively.

Like it’s not as if there isn’t criticism of RWBY to be leveled. I think the White Fang analogy to real life issues could have been better. I don’t love the Maiden plot line. I’m not a big fan of much of the songs in this series. (Not sure if it’s the lyrics or Casey Lee Williams’ voice.)

However, when RWDE criticizes RWBY, it’s almost as if they want something that isn’t RWBY. I’ve seen fans criticize the series and they have legitimate concerns, some of which I just mentioned. And their critiques involve the series being a better version of what it is. That’s an important difference.

If you weren’t one of the seven people who paid attention to my series talking about what our heroes should and shouldn’t do, one point I make over and over is that context should inform content. What a series is about should inform what a series does. I think that comes easier when people love the series they’re talking about than if they don’t.

Of course, it’s not as if you can’t do that if you don’t like a series. One of my favorite analytical series is Digi-nee’s “The Asterisk War Sucks” (I was going to link videoes here, but it’s not all available). That series isn’t just about why The Asterisk War is a bad light novel series that became an anime. It goes through how the series fails as an adaptation of a light novel, sci-fi series, romance story, action series, tournament arc, and even fan service show.

But to get to that, you have to be willing to work for it. Digi had to watch the series in its entirety 4 times. Even if you did like The Asterisk War, I find it hard to see Digi’s points as baseless hatred. It feels like RWDE watched the series once, maybe twice, before making their points. And honestly, it shows.

The future of any fandom is unpredictable and I can’t claim to know what will happen years from now. However, I can’t imagine RWDE being a permanent part of FNDM. Fans hate their existence as it is and many don’t agree with their arguments. If they’re anything like the most toxic parts of other fandoms, they’ll throw fits at the end of the series and move onto something else in about a year.

In Conclusion:

I think you can gain enjoyment out of something you don’t like and criticize something that you don’t love or even used to love. RWDE is the worst examples of these things, bordering on “exception to the rule”, and I will celebrate their inevitable downfall.

[tomans-darlings-au]

I'm Gonna Vent Anyway

Anyone who thinks I'm not taking Spinel into account and her trauma with Pink.

I literally am Spinel what Pink did happened to me multiple times but most prominently by my mother.

When I was around 9 years old my step-father at the time left my mother, she was depressed even before he'd left but when he did my mothers excessive neglect began.

It started with just staying in bed all day keeping me around when she wanted company but insisting I stay quiet as she dumped All her problems on a child.

She hadn't really gotten better until I was in high school 13 years old and I was used to the existence of having my mom barely around. Sleeping in the room as I sat alone everyday looping our movies because we lived in a shelter and weren't allowed cable.

Then at 14 It changed but it wasn't better, my mother became even more neglectful because she began dating again. She was gone everyday and I would sit in our now empty living room as my brother even stopped coming home (not that he made anything better.)

So there I sat everyday waiting for her to come home all alone playing DVDs loud and pretending to laugh so people don't hear the cries of a lonely stupid teenagers who just wanted mom to care.

Then it happened, her boyfriend was attacked and now in the hospital and she is freaking out. Of course I tried to help but not much I could do I was just a teenager But I comforted her and then she made a decision.

"You have to stay with your father so I can care for him."

She knew my father was an abusive man she was violently abused by him but in her mind he was more important. She wanted to care for him more than her child, I wad "grown" enough to be "independent " and it would "only be a little while".

So at the beginning of summer she drops me off packed things and all on my fathers doorstep. A confused and scared and lonely teenager with a known abuser, my father sits me down and says.

"You know what this is right? She's not coming back for you, she's abandoned you so now you'll be here with me."

And so begins one of the worst years of my life, pain and abuse and mental and physical breaking.

All that time she expected me to make the effort to visit her and extend the hand, a teenager taking all the risk in seeing her even though she knew my father would be furious if he found out and he kept maticulous tabs on me.

And when I visited she would dump on me mostly the complaints of her life, I sat and listened pain and all.

Of course she eventually got me back but we were homeless again. She was separated from her boyfriend Again, so once we were placed in a shelter she was gone all day again to see him. At least at that time I had my sisters, I thought "okay at least I'm not all alone." But... They also left for their own reasons and it started again.

Coming home to an empty shelter unit everyday after school and blasting anime videos pretending I wad so happy as I muffled my lonely cries. She'd come home to sleep and that's all only requesting my company when it was convenient, god forbid I said no because I had even a bit of a life.

She even checked herself into a psychward with no warning leaving me to the mercy of child protective services where I was placed in a foster home. Of course she still requested things of me despite How far I was staying and how tired I was.

And when she retrieved me nothing really changed as she was still constantly gone. Even the first day she'd gotten me back she left me alone all over again. She'd even guilted me for now visiting her in the psychward.

Finally we got an apartment and her boyfriend would be living with us, I was relieved "Finally At least she'll be home" but it was just abandonment in a different form as she would insist I stay in the one bedroom in the apartment so her and her boyfriend had free reign of the house.

I stayed in the room nearly everyday isolated jumping At whatever opportunity she gave that allowed me to be around her. The only other times she'd visit me were at 3am because her insomnia wouldn't allow her to sleep, she continued to vent to me already depressed and broken. Of course I just listened because at least she sat there with me, occasionally she would let me and give me affection.

I was there as a convenience for her to use whenever she wanted or needed. When I announced I was leaving it got worse as I didn't even have school to escape to anymore as she tried to insist I get a job (only to try and collect money from me). Her 3am visits became a pattern as she'd stay just to vent and even began to be hostile to me flipflopping between me leaving early or staying by her side.

She claimed I was selfish, her life wasn't supposed to revolve around me, she called me boring and bad company, she said it was sad how codependent I had become after I returned from staying with my father.

One especially infamous time was when I'd joined the softball team in high school, the girls on my team never particularly liked me but I still worked to be on the team hoping my mom would be proud and come to my games. Of course she never really did claiming it was too short notice when I told her locations even though we always got told the location short notice.

The one time she'd actually attended I was so happy, her and her boyfriend sitting there watching us warm up. The official game ended up being cancelled but the teams were willing to play anyway. Still she lost her patience in indulging me before the scrimmage even began.

She informed me she was leaving and got angry with me when I tried to get her to stay, she told me to stop being selfish and she wanted to spend time with her boyfriend alone. So she left the only game she'd attended and it was so obvious even the girls who didn't like me admitted it was fucked up. I actually became pitty worthy by people who didn't even like my existence.

Everyday was filled with loneliness for me waiting and scraping for any amount of attention she gave me even if it was just silently listening and absorbing her complaints. She wasn't even a mom as she barely provided me with essentials But I was there whenever she was bored.

Eventually I did leave and suddenly she fixed up her life, she'd finally gotten her disability and permanent housing with her boyfriend. She was active and took care of the house and her boyfriend, she cooked All the time uploading pictures of meals I was lucky to get once in awhile.

I left a mom who rarely cooked, who put my mattress in storage 3 months before I was even leaving, who gave me money to eat cheap fast-food nearly everyday.

I understand Spinel and I relate to her so much I can legitimately put myself in her shoes, I was a child who waited for a mother to come home slowly breaking as I watched my mother drift away. Even now she acts as if I was selfish, as if what she did wasn't even bad, as if I was the unreasonable one.

And me well... I stood by her side against others constantly, stupidly pretending as if everything was okay but how could I say anything when id dug my own grave defending her against everyone before realizing the words against her were so genuinely true.

Now I stand as a broken person trying to be better but it hurts so much and I'm falling apart. Ive only just gained the strength to stand up for myself and confront her only so slightly. I cried so much listening to Spinel because I was there and I still have to deal with this.

I have abandonment issues greatly And I'm so scared and uncomfortable being alone for long periods of time in an empty home waiting for someone to come home. I struggle everyday with these feelings and I can't even truly share them because she'll just guilt trip me like she has before, I balance her emotional stability as I pretend we can fix such a broken relationship.

Meanwhile every day and night I am effected by my fear of abandonment and from trauma.

So yes... I kin Spinel because if I was an animated character it would be her.

[ghoulsly]

1 - 45; Rowan :3c

you absolute monster. Rowan 1. Does your character have siblings or family members in their age group? Which one are they closest with?-he has 12 sister, but only knows about 9 of them. When he was still with his family he was closest to his sisters Aeras and Ibela, his twin sisters that were born a few days after him. 

2.What is/was your character’s relationship with their mother like?-He grew up with 3 mothers and he loved and respected all of them.

3.What is/was your character’s relationship with their father like?-He grew up both respecting, loving and fearing his father. Thinking that his dad could never understand him but not realizing they were more alike than anything. 

4.Has your character ever witnessed something that fundamentally changed them? If so, does anyone else know?-He met this couple when he was still a teen and they inspired him so wholly to become a bard and worship Shelyn.

5.On an average day, what can be found in your character’s pockets?-fun facts, he doesn’t have pockets. 

6.Does your character have recurring themes in their dreams?-he doesn’t often remember his dreams but a few good ones have the ocean and his boyfriend in them 

7.Does your character have recurring themes in their nightmares?-anything about his family and all his regrets. 

8.Has your character ever fired a gun? If so, what was their first target?-nop. 

9.Is your character’s current socioeconomic status different than it was when they were growing up?-yeah! His family is like impossibly wealthy? So growing up he wanted for nothing. Nowadays he’s just scraping by off the money he makes performing and odd jobs from the pathfinder society with Noah. But that’s fine. He actually likes to earn his keep. 

10.Does your character feel more comfortable with more clothing, or with less clothing?-the less clothing the better. Boi loves to feel that sweet sun on his skin. 

11.In what situation was your character the most afraid they’ve ever been?-When he was 15. Packing a few essentials in the dead of night hoping not to be caught as he ran away from home. 

12.In what situation was your character the most calm they’ve ever been?-Nights spent on the ship with Jasper and the crew, playing soft lilting tunes. Or when he’s with Noah, doing practically anything, like walking around day shopping or just sharing their time together in comfortable silence. 

13.Is your character bothered by the sight of blood? If so, in what way?-Nah. It’s kinda just a hazard of his lifestyle really. 

14.Does your character remember names or faces easier?-faces for sure. 

15.Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?-Uhh, money only in the sense that he’s constantly earning it for his own basic needs and also to keep debt collectors off Jasper’s ass

16.Which does your character idealize most: happiness or success?-happiness

17.What was your character’s favorite toy as a child?-he had this one stuffed animal that was a beat to hell, red dragon. He loved that thing and carried it around with him for yeaaaaars. He hasn’t thought about it and wouldn’t know it but the thing is still in his old bedroom, exactly where he’d left it. 

18.Is your character more likely to admire wisdom, or ambition in others?-ambition! 

19.What is your character’s biggest relationship flaw? Has this flaw destroyed relationships for them before?-He runs from his problems(emotional ones specifically). And oh boi has it. 

20.In what ways does your character compare themselves to others? Do they do this for the sake of self-validation, or self-criticism?-Mmm,, he would compare the similarities and differences in himself to others around him and reflect on them. I think it’s a bit of both validation and criticism though. 

21.If something tragic or negative happens to your character, do they believe they may have caused or deserved it, or are they quick to blame others?-He very much blames himself for most if not all of his misfortunes. 

22.What does your character like in other people?-individuality, passion, loyalty and a nice ass doesn’t hurt from time to time. ;) 

23.What does your character dislike in other people?-in this house everyone drinks respecting women juice or they get a face full of Rowan’s fist. 

24.How quick is your character to trust someone else?-It’s not hard to get on this guys good side. Especially if you’re a lady, he would die for you. 

25.How quick is your character to suspect someone else? Does this change if they are close with that person?-That’s fairly situation and depends on the person in question but typically he’s not really the accusatory type. 

26.How does your character behave around children?-He loves kids. Loves to entertain them with fun songs and play games with them. 

27.How does your character normally deal with confrontation?-if it’s a brawl he already taking his shirt off ready to fuckin  goooooooo. But like emotional confrontation he’s already packing his bag and out the door. 

28.How quick or slow is your character to resort to physical violence in a confrontation?-He definitely tries to charm his way through most situations if he can get away with it but if it has to come down to a fight so be it.

 29.What did your character dream of being or doing as a child? Did that dream come true?-He used to watch the sailors coming into port nearly every day, having wild fantasies of being a pirate on the open seas. That dream sort of came true, he’s no pirate but is in fact a sailor for a legitimate shipping company and he loves it. 

30.What does your character find repulsive or disgusting?-mushrooms. Affronts against romance and disrespect to women. 

31.Describe a scenario in which your character feels most comfortable.-Either sailing or sitting in a tavern playing tune to earn some extra coin. 

32.Describe a scenario in which your character feels most uncomfortable.-almost any situation having to do with his boyfriend’s mom. Or times he’s managed to offend or make someone cry. 

33.In the face of criticism, is your character defensive, self-deprecating, or willing to improve?-regular ol’ criticism he’s fine with and willing to improve upon himself. (Other than his inability to face his emotional baggage head on. We’re still working on that) 

34.Is your character more likely to keep trying a solution/method that didn’t work the first time, or immediately move on to a different solution/method?-He might try a solution or method once or twice before moving on to something different. 

35.How does your character behave around people they like?-very buddy buddy, casual and laidback. 

36.How does your character behave around people they dislike?-A little tense, maybe a lil’ clipped in tone with them. If he really hates them he’s like .5 seconds from throwing hands if they start some shit. 

37.Is your character more concerned with defending their honor, or protecting their status?-Honor 

38.Is your character more likely to remove a problem/threat, or remove themselves from a problem/threat?-depends on the the type of problem/threat. But I’ll go with remove himself for now.

39.Has your character ever been bitten by an animal? How were they affected (or unaffected)?-prolly at some point, but nothing that would have affected him. 

40.How does your character treat people in service jobs?-As nice and charming as he treats anybody else. 

41.Does your character feel that they deserve to have what they want, whether it be material or abstract, or do they feel they must earn it first?-He’s definitely an earn what you want kind of dude. 

42.Has your character ever had a parental figure who was not related to them?-YEs! His pseudo adopted dad, Jasper, whom is the captain of his ship! 

43.Has your character ever had a dependent figure who was not related to them?-lol… that would also be Jasper. Rowan kind of earns all this extra coin so he can work off Jaspers debts for him. He just wants his old man to keep his shins in tact. 

44.How easy or difficult is it for your character to say “I love you?” Can they say it without meaning it?-“I love you” is a very serious term for him. His whole religion is about love of all kinds. So if he tells someone he loves them he means it and would never use it to manipulate someone. 

45.What does your character believe will happen to them after they die? Does this belief scare them?-He’s not exactly sure and in some ways the idea does scare him. 

[theramseyloft]

I'm reading responses to your old(ish) post about you referring to Ankhou as a Service pigeon, and not simply an ESA. A lot of people got their feathers all ruffled over this, some claiming that ALL birds are unhygienic, unable to be trained, loud, skittish, and overall horrible candidates for service animals. As a pigeon expert, do you believe these are significant concerns? And would bird fancier's lung pose serious concern if pigeons did act as service animals in public?

I had to change the language used to refer to him because Service Animal is a legal distinction when it comes to the public access allowed.

In Ga, only dogs can be legally considered service animals, and even then, only for the blind, deaf, and mobility impaired. 

Medical Alert dogs? Not allowed public access in GA as a Service Animal. Those people hafta stay home or have human company. 

MOST hotels in this state will deny access to people who need service dogs and nobody gives enough of a shit to enforce what access laws we actually have.

Ankhou is more correctly referred to as my Assistance Animal, by the fair housing act definition, so that is what I call him, instead of my Service Bird. (In FL, pretty much any species can legally be called a service animal, but that is not where I live.)

He is my stress level alert bird, and keeps me from going into overwhelmed shut down. But he has recently also become my medical alarm. (I take my assorted meds on a schedule, and he gets my attention and leads me to them when I have lost track of time.)

Ankhou trained himself to both tasks because my shut down state freaks him out and he likes keeping me and Mike on schedule. 

This is one of those cases where Bird automatically means Parrot, unless disease is involved, in which case THEN it means pigeon!

That accusation that all birds are loud, for example. Have you ever heard a pigeon? That low, gurgling coo isn’t gonna hurt any ones ears or startle them out of their skin.

While it’s true that not every pigeon has the temperament to be calm and unafraid in public, neither does every dog. 

Puppies bred specifically for Service still have to go through several evaluations and tons of training before they can be considered Service Dogs, and not every puppy will pass.

While it is true that most birds are reactionary, startle very hard, and stress very easily, the birds most people consider to be pets are still wild animals. 

Pigeons are NOT.

Pigeons are just as domesticated as dogs and are inherently comfortable around people. A pigeon with the right temperament could easily learn to be just as nonreactive as a well trained service dog.

There are things a dog can do that a pigeon could not. 

They are not large enough to lift or carry or aid with mobility. 

While their vision is excellent, they are just not big enough to help some one who is visually impaired maneuver.

Where pigeons would really shine is in the areas of mental health. They are fantastic anxiety birds that are VERY good at reading their handlers and knowing when to just comfort and when to demand their handler find some place quiet and settle.

They are VERY naturally inclined to recognize shut down and panic states and a pidge bonded to its handler will be motivated to help settle them back out of it.

There are certain legitimate concerns preventing pigeons from becoming Service Animals with full public access, but they are more for the safety of the bird than people. 

Dogs have vaccines for pretty much every dangerous illness they could come across from other dogs. 

Pigeons HAD vaccines for PMV, Avian Pox, and Salmonella, but that was it and those aren’t the only dangerous things they could pick up. 

Now that it is illegal to medicate ones own birds, the places in the US that made and regulated those vaccines have been shut down and they have been made illegal to import.

Pigeons have been left entirely unprotected.

The diseases they can give humans, like Salmonella, can be tested for pretty easily, treated quickly, and entirely prevented for an indoor pet.

People complaining about pigeons spreading pigeon lung don’t actually know what bird fancier’s lung is or is caused by.

The quicker onset of bird fanciers lung is caused by inhaling the spores of a fungus that grows well in pigeon feces. Buuut, it takes three days to build up enough poo to provide the right culture environment, and two more days for the fungus to produce fruiting bodies. That means that the enclosure has to go uncleaned for a total of 5 days in order to be exposed.

It’s revoltingly common for pigeon lofts to be cleaned all of EIGHT TIMES A FUCKING YEAR!!! 

But who the hell is gonna let a house pet’s cage get THAT level of nasty? 

If you only have one bird, it takes 3-5 minutes to clean, wipe, and vacuum around the enclosure, and most people do that daily.

The other onset of Bird Fancier’s lung is a cumulative effect of dust building up a coating on the inside of the lungs.

Do you know how many YEARS that takes? Of CONSTANTLY breathing in CLOUDS of feather dander?

If you have an instant reaction to a bird, it is not bird fanciers lung. That’s asthma or an allergy to the dander. Both of which are legitimate public safety concerns, especially in confined spaces and on hospital or other medical care grounds.

You can lessen the dander for a day’s outing by letting the bird take a bath first, but especially in the case of pigeons, preening the chest feathers will make more.

What people are referring to as hygene, though, is almost entirely an issue of poop, and believe it or not, pigeons *can* be safely potty trained.

Ankhou alerts me when he has to poo by getting down off my shoulder, onto my hand and leaning like he wants to jump down.That is my cue to take him outside, find the bathroom, or open a tissue for him to use, depending on what’s closest.

Outside is pretty self explanatory.

If the bathroom is closest, I hold him over a running sink or open trash can.

In the middle of a large store, I pull a tissue out of my purse and open it for him. He goes on it, and then I fold it up, tuck it into the used tissue ziplock bag in my purse, apply a drop of hand sanitizer, and we’re done. Sanitary, discreet, and quiet.

Any pigeon could be trained to do that, no diaper needed.

People *REALLY* had to fight tooth and nail to get service dogs accepted by the general public, and in places like Ga, they are STILL having to fight tooth and nail for the laws on the fucking books to actually be enforced.

People who need their dogs to get around or even live are STILL barred from hotels, restaurants, and as many public places as think they can get away with it.

So after all that work and all the bullshit they STILL deal with, it’s entirely understandable that other, less thoroughly tested species, potentially getting public access and fucking it up the way some people’s ESAs or pets they’ve lied about have for them would worry them enough to push back.

They don’t want to make other people’s lives harder or gate keep service animals.

But people’s poorly trained ESAs and pets have made hotel, store, and restaurant owners and managers less friendly and in some cases outright hostile towards service animals in general, which is fucking dangerous to the people that physically need them!

While I firmly believe that pets should be able to go where ever their people go, it should be just as important to be sure those pets are safe, comfortable, and well behaved in public.

None of us live in a bubble. Things we do effect other people, and the more aware and respectful we are of that, the easier we make life for all parties involved.

[theironweasel]

Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood and why Avatar hasn’t completely spoiled me.

Spoilers for both franchises!

Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood is what I was looking for from the Original Series. While still not quite at Avatar Level for a number of reasons It’s just a step below and I believe I will consider it one of my favorites and I definitely want to rewatch it someday! I will do some comparisons between both the Original Series and Avatar as my gold standard for storytelling.

The Music. This is something I will give the Original series, there were a number of really memorable tracks, such as Dante’s Theme that really helped give some atmosphere. Brotherhood on the other hand while having a serviceable soundtrack, doesn’t have anything very memorable or any tracks that really elevate a scene beyond its other qualities. Avatar is, of course, renowned for its music, Legend of Korra, in particular, had top-notch music that elevated many scenes emotionally into truly epic, sad and many other emotions.

The Humor. The humor is about on the same level as the original series, though even more exaggerated at many points. Though there are a number of more natural humor moments, like a guard snapping to attention with “I’m awake!” Other than a few moments like that the humor doesn’t work that well and it’s pretty much abandoned in the last third of the series, which makes sense given how serious things get but even Avatar managed to get good jokes in near the end. Hell one of the best jokes in ATLA is the war balloon “birthday party” in the penultimate episode. I think this may also be a dub issue, unless an anime is focused on comedy it can be very difficult for a dub to pick up on the comedic timing necessary to make the jokes work.

The Pacing. Although better than the original series, a lot of the plot of the last half of the series feels kind of like padding and could have been condensed into 2/3rds or even half the number of episodes and the series would have felt a lot tighter. The Final Arc especially drags on for way too long though it does pay off for the most part.

The Plot. This felt like a significant improvement over the original series. First, the scale felt a lot bigger and more epic and where the original could come off as convoluted, Brotherhood feels more like it’s complex. While there are plenty of twists and turns I never really had difficulty keeping everything straight up until towards the end and it wasn’t that bad and all the stuff going on helped give things an epic feel. However, like I said earlier it does feel like the plot is stretched out more than it needs to be, I wish it had been trimmed a bit to keep things going at a better pace.

The Characters. Again, a significant improvement over the original series as the side characters get a lot more development and more tend to have full arcs such as Scar and Greed. However, this is where I feel the show could have lived up to Avatar but didn’t quite make it. I think the key to being on that level, for me at least, is with the characters. As I said in my FMA review, ATLA and LOK were great in creating minor characters that had interesting personalities and designs such as Huu, Ryu, and the Nomads. But they don’t overstay their welcome, only appearing in an episode or two and often with a lot of space between appearances. Even the less interesting of these tend to have arcs that lend to character development for the main characters such as Haru to Katara, Teo to Aang and Tahno to Korra. Brotherhood while focusing more on character development than the original series it does tend to have too many side characters to get on the same level as Avatar’s characters. While LOK isn’t quite as strong in this regard it knows when to put certain characters in more minor roles when they aren’t relevant to the story or their arcs have finished. I think the definitive difference comes in several points. First, while I wouldn't call the characters in Brotherhood one note, as many have two or three levels to them, however what Avatar, particularly ATLA, did was make characters with many layers such as Zuko and Lin Beifong or even characters who were almost two people in one such as Katara where this fact isn’t even fully looked into until the last regular episode before the finale but is also a fact that can be seen from the very first episode. The other aspect I think that Avatar has is it’s cast and voice director that manages to give some of the best performances I’ve ever seen from comedy to drama, from John Michael Higgins legendary Varrick that manages to be both hilarious and occasionally intimidating and believable as both a Villain and Hero, to Mae Whitman as Katara who manages to have some of the most heart-wrenching scenes in the show almost purely through her performance from breaking down in tears over how hurt she feels because of her absent father to making the word “Me” one of the most powerful and emotional moments of the series. I will give Brotherhood this, while I wasn’t super invested in most of the characters, I did appreciate how in the end they managed to use some of the characters very well. In particular Greed’s sacrifice and Hohenheim's arc with his family, both of which were played well enough to get me teary eyed, even if I didn’t really care much about the characters themselves.

The Fights. While being better than the original series fight scenes, having a bit more creativity and energy, I do think Avatar has spoiled me forever so that only purely fight focused animes can live up to the level of Avatar as they are extremely well thought out with real martial arts and elemental abilities that make the fight scenes feel so intense. Additionally, I feel Avatar has a wonderful ability to incorporate emotion very well into the fights both in the lead-up and how the fights play out. From the beautiful and almost artistic fiery destruction that was the Last Agni Kai to what may be one of the best fight scenes of all time in the final battle between Korra and Kuvira that has such strong intensity and speed with constantly shifting tactics and moves. Additionally, the fight cinematography is fantastic, always showing us the battlefield and movements of the characters, rarely resorting to speed lines or distortion to make the action look faster and more intense, something Brotherhood was guilty of even in it’s most epic and near end fight scenes such as Scar vs. Wrath.

The Villains. This was one of the biggest improvements from the original series in my opinion. While most of the villains are still pretty one note, they are handled much better. First, they don’t have the bizarre desire to become human despite how the reasons were only explained, poorly, in a single line. Two, contrary to the original series, the villains loathe human beings and revel in their own inhumanity, but for some at least it is a cover for their envy of humanity and while it’s the same idea as the original series it is done in a much more compelling way. In particular what they do with Greed is fascinating, showing how Greed as a concept is really just seeking empty things that a person believes will make them feel whole but that ultimately what they are “greedy” for is the love of other people, showing how it isn’t just an evil. This was hinted at in the original series, but Brotherhood makes it a complete Arc. And while I found Homunculus himself to be boring most of the time, I did really like his final moments which made me wish we had seen a deeper exploration of this aspect of his character.

Winry. She is done a lot better in Brotherhood, making her more 3 dimensional. When she makes a mistake she feels guilt and will actually apologize and try to change, and her issues with her parents’ death are fully explored and resolved. Finally, while her relationship with Ed doesn’t get an Avatar super romantic ending, it does feel way more resolved than in the Original series as in this they at least admit their feelings.

Izumi. This is probably the best improvement from the original series. While she isn’t an amazing character in Brotherhood, she was so insufferable in the original and was around far too long. While she is still a bit of a wacko, the hateful aspects of her character are toned down to almost zero. While she still has the brothers live on an island for a month, she doesn’t have some dude beat the crap out of them and the show does actually question if this is the right thing to do and implies that Izumi may have a skewed perspective. And she is able to have a legitimate emotional moment with the brothers without resorting to violence and recognizes her mistake in not telling them about messing up herself. Again while she is not an amazing character in Brotherhood, she was so bad in the original that it almost ruined the show for me.

The Ending. Again, while I feel the final arc lasted way too long the payoff was mostly worth it. While there were some plot details that were a bit confusing and some metaphysical stuff that made me raise an eyebrow (Avatar was great in establishing its metaphysical aspects in preparation for the finales). However I feel that most of if not all the important characters have satisfying resolutions to their stories, with Hohenheim finally wanting to live in his dying moments, Roy realizing he has to ascend to power while doing good instead of waiting until he’s there, Scar learning to look beyond his hate to do what’s best for his people, and probably the best with Ed. While Ed was a good character, I never really loved him, but I will give him credit for having one of the best resolutions to an arc I’ve seen, deciding to give up his power in order to save his brother. And I love how the seemingly indifferent/malevolent Truth was actually pleased in the end to see Ed make the right decision, that despite his harshness and some mean-spiritedness, Truth ultimately wants Humanity to learn and change for the better and will punish anyone both well and ill-intentioned who has the hubris to play god.

Ultimately, while I can’t put Brotherhood in the same ranks as Avatar, I do place it as one of my favorite shows I’ve watched and look forward to rewatching it someday and would like to share it with a friend who may enjoy it. But here is where I can define a tangible difference, I can show Avatar to anyone, I watched it with my rather intellectual father and he loved both series and even liked some of the humor quite well. I don’t feel him or certain other people would appreciate Brotherhood on that same level even though I am pretty close myself.

[douchebagbrainwaves]

WHAT NO ONE UNDERSTANDS ABOUT VC

Plus founders who've just raised money are often encouraged to overhire by the VCs who funded them. A rounds already are high res. This way of framing the question probably guarantees failure. I'd say this if I were talking to a friend what you just wrote. The bad news is that I got over 100 other responses listing the surprises they encountered. It's amazing how easily you can reach out to people and get immediate feedback.1 Benjamin Franklin learned to write by summarizing the points in the essays of Addison and Steele and then trying to reproduce work someone else has already done for them. Stanford students are more entrepreneurial than Yale students, but not because of some difference in their characters; the Yale students just have fewer examples. After a few seconds it struck me that what we'll end up calling these things is tablets. A hacker working on some programming language or operating system might likewise be able to do the same thing with detective stories.

Which means if the qualities that make someone a great programmer are evenly distributed, 95% of the investors we dealt with were unprofessional, didn't seem to be many universities elsewhere that compare with the best in America, at least in the US this is another rule that isn't very strictly enforced. It also means no one university will be good enough to spread by word of mouth, like Google did. This kind of work you do for money, and another for love.2 And the way founders end up in it is by not realizing that's where they're headed. Immigration policy is one area where a competitor could do better.3 One founder said this should be your approach to all programming, not just startups, and partly because the stresses are so much greater, and partly because the stresses are so much greater, and partly it's yet another consequence of the fact that most good startup ideas seem bad: If you are persistent, even problems that seem out of your control i. European hackers is simply that different investors, they help them break the sort of career a high school student would choose.4

It's in your interest, because you'll be one of them. It's completely pervasive. What is going on here?5 Don't worry what people will say about them.6 Hackers, likewise, can learn to program. Running a startup is the opinion of other investors.7 So no matter how good your growth is, you can never do more than start to count on it. For over a decade, every hacker who'd ever had to process payments before Stripe had tried asking that, Stripe would have been reluctant to hire anyone who didn't. Why?8 And yet a lot of explaining to do.9

Running a business is so much more enjoyable now. Perhaps one day computer science will, like Yugoslavia, get broken up into its component parts. Does that make written language worse?10 We still don't know if that's necessary, but it won't be if things change as much in the next 50 years as they did in the first couple generations. And there is no need to worry.11 What I'm saying is that open-source hacking is all about.12 As you go into a startup, things seem great one moment and hopeless the next. It's so important to launch fast that it may be better to think of others. Working on our startup, I think. Another area in which you could easily surpass Silicon Valley is too far from San Francisco. They can usually only summon up the activation energy to start a startup by just writing code.

Creating wealth is not a problem for big companies, because they have no redundancy. The principle extends even into programming. If you want to do, so here is another place where startups have an advantage is that they overvalue ideas. Which feigning certitude impressed investors.13 Well, we humans are as conspicuously different from other animals as the anteater. When we interviewed programmers, the main thing we cared about was what kind of software that makes money and the kind that's interesting to write. The border between architecture and engineering is not sharply defined, but it's there.14

Startups are marginal. Which means n i-1/i. But hacking can certainly be more than just that some startup might have a problem firing someone they needed to. I am more fulfilled in my work than pretty much any of my friends who did not start companies. The famously rigid labor laws hurt every company, but startups especially, because startups have the least time to spare for bureaucratic hassles. You should always have a plan B as well: you should know as in write down precisely what you'll need to do to get the same price.15 But even so a lot of startups, which makes it more work to read. But I'm not too worried yet.16 On historical time scales, what we have now is just a prototype.

Immigration policy is one area where a competitor could do better.17 If you're small, they don't use sentences any more complex than they do when talking about what to have for lunch.18 A friend of mine visiting India sprained her ankle falling down the steps in a railway station.19 Ok, so written and spoken language are different. Founders of successful startups are probably more the effect of growth than the cause.20 When I talk to a startup that's been operating for more than 8 or 9 months, the first thing I want to know first whether a startup is not like having a job or being a student, because it has been independently confirmed by all the other makers. So instead of doing what they really want to do that is to implement it.21 Professional athletes know they'll be pulled if they play badly for just a couple games. 1%-4. Unconsciously, everyone expects a startup to be like a job, and that work means working for a big company or a VC fund. I admit that hacking doesn't seem as cool in its glory days as it does now.

Notes

Of the remaining outcomes don't have one.

Considering yourself a scientist. Now to people he knew. I was a company if the quality of the delays and disconnects between founders and realized they were to work like blacklists, I use. The reason for the coincidence that Greg Mcadoo, our contact at Sequoia, was one cause of poverty I just wasn't willing to provide this service, and the exercise of stock.

So as a phone that is exactly the opposite.

This is almost always bullshit. You can safely write off all the red counties.

If that were the richest buyers are, but those are the only companies smart enough not to stuff them with comments. San Jose is a bit. We didn't let him off, either as truth or heresy.

Who continued to live inexpensively as their companies till about a week before.

Hypothesis: Any plan in which I deliberately pander to readers, though sloppier language than I'd use to develop server-based software will make it to get a definite plan to make a living playing at weddings than by the fact by someone else start those startups.

Charles Darwin was 22 when he was a test of intelligence or wisdom.

Indiana University Bloomington 1868-1970. This is an instance of a heuristic for detecting whether you can eliminate, do not try too hard to think of a place to exchange views. False positives are not in 1950. Users had been Boylston Professor of Rhetoric at Harvard since 1851, became in 1876 the university's first professor of English Studies.

Copyright owners tend to damp this effect, at one remove: it has to be a trivial enhancement of HTTP, to allow multiple urls in a way to explain how you'd figure out yet whether you'll succeed. As one very successful YC founder told me they do care about. According to a study by the fact that, because by definition if the similarity extended to returns. Software companies can even be symbiotic, because for times over a series.

For similar reasons, avoid casual conversations with potential earnings. If anyone wanted to go and steal the company is common, to take a conscious effort to be tweaking stuff till it's yanked out of customers is that they've already made it over a series of numbers that are only doing angel deals to generate series A investor has a spam probabilty of.

Of course, or want tenure, avoid casual conversations with VCs suggest it's roughly correct to say that was more because they are bleeding cash really fast. Even in English, our contact at Sequoia, was one of the flock, or a 2004 Mercedes S600 sedan 122,000 legitimate emails. But the question of whether public company not to: if you start fundraising, because we know nothing about the same town, unless it was very much better is a significant number. Founders are tempted to ignore what your GPA was.

If it's 90%, you'd get ten times as much difference to a can of soup. Macros very close to 18% of GDP, despite dramatic changes in tax rates don't tell 5 year olds the truth about the other students, heirs, professors, politicians, and this destroyed all traces.

In practice sufficiently expert doesn't require one to be room for another. Applets seemed to Aristotle the core: the resources they expend on the scale that Google does.

Rice and Beans for 2n olive oil or butter n yellow onions other fresh vegetables to a partner from someone they respect. In desperation people reach for the desperate and the war on. Obviously signalling risk is also the highest returns, like play in a time machine.

0001. But core of the year x in a spiral. In practice formal logic is not even in their voices will be familiar to anyone who has them manages to find a kid and as we use for good and bad technological progress, but rather that if you have more skeletons than squeaky clean dullards, but except for money. Realizing that much better to make money for other people thought of them.

What you're looking for initially is not a big company. See particularly the mail by Anton van Straaten on semantic compression. 3/4 of their shares when the audience at an ever increasing rate to impress are not very discerning.

Within an hour just to steal the company is Weebly, which was open to newcomers because it might actually be bad if that means service companies are run like Communist states. That's one of its identity. When investors can't make up their minds, they made much of a social network for x instead of uebfgbsb. But politicians know the inventor of something the automobile, the apparent misdeeds of corp dev guys should be.

Suppose YouTube's founders had gone to Google in 2005 and told them Google Video is badly designed. A fundraising is a site not as facile a trick as it needs to, in one of these groups, you waited too long to launch a new SEC rule issued in 1982 rule 415 that made it to profitability before your initial funding runs out. But a couple hundred years ago.

Parker, William R.

Ian Hogarth suggests a good product. But wide-area bandwidth increased more than half of the big acquisition offers most successful ones tend not to. But the result is higher prices. Angels and super-angels will snap up stars that VCs play such games, books, newspapers, or boards, or grow slowly tend not to: if he ever made a million dollars out of their predecessors and said in effect why can't you be more like a body cavity search by someone else.

Thanks to Ron Conway, Bill Yerazunis, Qasar Younis, Dan Friedman, John Gruber, and Paul Buchheit for inviting me to speak.

[her-culture]

Five Things I Learned Living with an Emotional Support Animal in College

Emotional support animals are a rather controversial topic, especially in regards to allowing them to fly on airlines, but having an ESA as part of a mental health treatment plan has been immensely beneficial for me. For my freshman year of college, I left my dog at home and moved hundreds of miles away. I had always had a very strong bond with my dog, Roxie, and a connection with animals in general. I worked at a doggy daycare for the ten years leading up to college, and suddenly being dog-free was jarring. At the end of my freshman year, I decided to apply for Roxie to live in my dorm the next year as part of my treatment for severe anxiety, and my college approved the accommodation. I am not finishing my second year of college, and having Roxie in my dorm has taught me a few important lessons.

Being responsible for another life is very serious, and anyone in a similar position to mine needs to deeply consider this. Taking care of Roxie at school is very different than living with her at home. At college, I am Roxie’s sole caretaker, so her needs and wellbeing are all my responsibility. I knew this before I brought her to college, but I did not realize how different caring for her would be when I did not have my mom to let her outside in the morning or to feed her when I was going to be gone all day. I wake up at 7:30 every day to walk Roxie because she needs to eat and to go outside. Some days I do not want to, but I do not have a choice because Roxie cannot feed and walk herself.

Having someone dependent on me means that, at times, I need to make difficult choices likeleaving early from events or hanging out with my friends because I need to go to my dorm to feed Roxie dinner and walk her. I do not regret this added responsibility at all, but it is also a significant part of my life. I always need to be considering Roxie’s wellbeing and factoring it into my day so that I can be there to feed her, walk her, and play with her enough at the proper times. I will choose to do homework at my dorm instead of the library, my preferred location, because Roxie is there, and I do not want her to be alone all day. On days when I need to go to the library, I will stop studying to come back to my dorm to take care of Roxie and then, perhaps, return to the library if I need to study more.

Emotional support animals are legitimate and can help people with a range of disorders. I most knew this already, but actually having Roxie with me at school has helped my anxiety in ways that other treatments do not. She is able to calm me and help me feel less anxious at times that only she could. No other animal could help me like having Roxie does because she and I have a connection and she understands my anxiety from years of living with me. When I am deeply anxious, I will try to match my breathing to hers in order to slow down my breath and not hyperventilate. Roxie normally does not enjoy being held for a long time, but she never moves when I need her to help me breathe. Also, when I am very anxious in my sleep, I will wake up to her laying on my feet as if to remind me that she is there. These are only two of the ways that having Roxie helps me, but I have found many more throughout this year.

Not everyone understands or agrees with emotional support animals. Before bringing Roxie, I did not realize that many people had no idea what an emotional support animal was or the difference between one and a service animal. Most days, I am told at least once in the elevator that people did not know that we can have pets in my dorm. We cannot. I then must explain that she is an emotional support animal and has been approved by the disability center to live with me. Usually, people seem unsure of what that means exactly but do not ask further. Other times, people ask if she is a service animal, which to anyone familiar with service animals, is obvious that she is not. Explaining to strangers that I have an emotional support animal can be awkward sometimes, but I have learned to just let it go because I would much rather be asked five times a day if my dog is a pet than not have her at all. I have also encountered a fair amount of hostility from people who think that emotional support animals are fake and that having Roxie has no legitimate benefit for me beyond that of any other pet. I experience this most often at airports when I am flying with Roxie and often from airline staff themselves. I do not dwell on these type of comments because I know that Roxie significantly reduces my anxiety, and I do not want to spend energy focusing on their comments that are clearly uninformed and wrong.

The processes surrounding emotional support animals are inconsistent and unregulated. No official emotional support animal registry exists, and many websites falsely claim to be registries online and sell people identification, like vests, that they do not need. I was completely unaware of how open-ended the emotional support animal system was before I began the process with my college, which has a confusing system itself. Every airline has different requirements for ESAs that are flying, and this paperwork must be completed each time. In addition, a valid healthcare provider must recommend that someone needs as ESA for a person to have one, but no official list of qualifying disorders exists, and any healthcare provider qualifies as being able to write the letter. This system can be extremely frustrating sometimes, especially because many people abuse the system to claim that their pet is an ESA so that the animal can fly for free or have some other benefit. This only hurts people with legitimate ESAs because it makes everyone look like they are scamming the system when a fake ESA misbehaves or hurts someone.

[theinvinciblenoob]

Subscriptions have turned into a booming business for app developers, accounting for $10.6 billion in consumer spend on the App Store in 2017, and poised to grow to $75.7 billion by 2022. But alongside this healthy growth, a number of scammers are now taking advantage of subscriptions in order to trick users into signing up for expensive and recurring plans. They do this by intentionally confusing users with their app’s design and flow, by making promises of “free trials” that convert after only a matter of days, and other misleading tactics.

Apple will soon have an influx consumer complaints on its hands, if it doesn’t reign in these scammers more quickly.

However, the company’s focus as of late has been more so on getting developers to give subscriptions a try – even holding “secret” meetings where it evangelises the business model that’s earning developers (and therefore Apple itself) a lot of money. In the meantime, a good handful of apps from bad actors have been allowed to flourish.

Utilities Top Grossing Apps are worst offenders 

Today, the majority of the Top Grossing apps on Apple’s App Store are streaming services, dating sites, entertainment apps or games. But when you get past the market leaders – apps like Fortnite, Netflix, Pandora, Tinder, Hulu, etc. – and down into the top hundreds on the Top Grossing chart, another type of app appears: Utilities.

How are apps like QR code readers, document scanners, translators, and weather apps raking in so much money? Especially when some of their utilitarian functions can be found elsewhere for much less, or even for free?

This raises the question as to whether some app developers are trying to scam App Store users by way of subscriptions.

We’ve found that does appear to be true, in many cases.

After reading through the critical reviews across the top money-making utilities, you’ll find customers complaining that the apps are too aggressive in pushing subscriptions (e.g. via constant prompts), offer little functionality without upgrading, provide no transparency around how free trials work, and make it difficult to stop subscription payments, among other things.

Here are a few examples. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but rather a representative one, just to illustrate the problem. A recent Forbes article listed many more, if you’re curious.

Scanner App – This No. 69 Top Grossing app is raking in a whopping $14.3 million per year for its document scanning utility, according to Sensor Tower data. It has an unbelievable number of customer reviews, as well – nearly 340,000 as of today, and a rating of 4.7 stars out of 5. That will lead most customers to believe this is a good and trustworthy app. But when you parse through the critical reviews, you’ll see some valid complaints.

Tap around in the app and you’ll be constantly prompted to subscribe to a subscription ranging from $3.99 a week to $4.99 per month, or start a free trial. But the subscription following the free trial kicks in after only 3 days – something that’s detailed in the fine print, but often missed. Consumers clearly don’t understand what they’re agreeing to, based on their complaints. And many of the negative reviews indicate customers feel they got duped into paying.

QR Code Reader – Forbes recently found that TinyLab’s QR Code Reader was tricking users into a ridiculously priced $156 per year subscription. This has now earned the app the rank of No. 220 Top Grossing across the App Store, and annual revenue of $5.3 million.

QR Code Scanner, via Forbes 

Again, this “free” app immediately starts pushing you to upgrade by starting a “free trial.” And again, this trial converts to a subscription after only 3 days. Can you imagine paying $156 per year for QR code scanning – something the iPhone camera app now does natively?

Weather Alarms – With a 4-star rating after hundreds of reviews, this weather alerting app seems to be handy. But in reality, it’s been using a “dark pattern” to trick users into pushing a button that will start a free trial or sign them up for subscription. And it’s working – to the tune of over a million in annual revenue.

A full screen ad appears in the app, offering two buttons – try for free or pay. The small “X” to close the ad doesn’t even immediately appear! Users then end up paying some $20/month for weather alerts. That seems…excessive?

Legitimate developers have complained about this app for months but Apple even featured it on its big screen at WWDC. (Watch the video embedded below. It’s incredible.)

This dark pattern is the best (stolen from full screen ads). The (x) close button animates in after a few seconds so that people don’t see they have a way to get off the page. Watch the upper left of the subscription page: pic.twitter.com/DaRJPvdu5Q

— David Barnard (@drbarnard) April 17, 2018

*After speaking to Apple about this app, Weather Alarms was removed from the App Store over the weekend. 

Translate Assistant – The same developer behind Weather Alarms offers this real-time translation app promising instant translations across over 100 languages and has 4.7 stars after nearly 4,000 ratings.

But the app is also super aggressive about pushing its subscriptions. With every app launch, a splash screen appears with three different boxes – 1 month ($12.99/mo), 12 months ($44.99/year), or the “free trial,” which converts users to a pricey $7.99/week plan after only 3 days.

Meanwhile, the option to “continue with a limited version” is in small, gray text that’s intentionally been designed to be hard to see.

The app is making $1.3 million a year, per Sensor Tower data.

As you can tell, the issue with many of these scammy apps is that they capitalize on people not reading the fine print, or they allow an app’s design to guide them to the right button to tap. Trickery like this isn’t anything new – it’s been around on the web as long as software has been sold. It’s just that, now, subscriptions are the hip way to scam.

These developers also know that most people – especially if they’ve just downloaded a new app – aren’t going to immediately subscribe. So they push people to their “free trial” instead. But that “free trial” is actually just an agreement to buy a subscription unless you visit the iTunes Settings and cancel it right away.

Many of these “free trials” convert almost immediately, too, which is another way developers are cashing in. They don’t give you time to think about it before they start charging.

“It’s incredibly frustrating how little has been done to thwart these scams,” says Contrast founder and longtime developer David Barnard, who apps include Weather Atlas and Launch Center Pro. “It erodes trust in the App Store which ultimately hurts Apple and conscientious developers who use subscriptions,” he says.

Apple also buries Subscription management 

The issue of scam apps may not always be the failure of App Store review. It’s possible that the scammy apps sneak in their tricks after Apple’s App Review team approves them, making them harder to catch.

But for the time being, users have to take it upon themselves to cancel these sneaky subscriptions.

Unfortunately, Apple isn’t making it as easy for users to get to their subscriptions as it could be.

Compare Apple’s design with Google Play, where the option to manage Subscriptions is in the top-level navigation:

On the iPhone, it takes several more taps and a bit of scrolling to get to the same area in iOS Settings:

  Above: Getting to subscriptions in the iPhone Settings (click images to view larger)

“I firmly believe this is not the future we should be aspiring for in terms of user experience,” says Denys Zhadanov, VP at Readdle, makers of Scanner Pro, Spark, PDF Expert and other productivity apps, speaking about these scam apps. “Apple as a platform, as an ecosystem, has always been a symbol of trust. That means people can rely on it for personal life and work needs,” he continues.

“The App Store has always been a great place, overseen and curated by highly intelligent and ethical people. I believe the App Store can stay as it always has been, if the right measures are taken to deal with those developers who trick the system,” Zhadanov adds.

Today, most subscription-based businesses thriving on the App Store come from legitimate developers. But they know how scammers could easily ruin the market for everyone involved. If allowed to continue, these scams could lead to consumer distrust in subscriptions in general.

In a worst-case scenario, consumers may even go so far as to avoid downloading apps where subscriptions are offered as in-app purchases in order to protect themselves from scams.

For now, Apple is largely relying on user and developer reports via reportaproblem.apple.com – a site most probably don’t know exists – to help them fight scammers. It needs to do more.

In addition to making access to your subscriptions easier, it also needs better police “Top Grossing” utilities and productivity apps – especially if the service’s value is questionable, and the 1-star reviews are specifically calling out concerns like “sneaky billing” or mentions other subscription tricks.

Apple declined to comment on the matter, but its Developer Guidelines clearly prohibit fraudulent behavior related to subscriptions, and insist that apps are clear about pricing. In other words, Apple has grounds to clear out these scammy subscription apps, if it chose to focus on this problem more closely in the future.

  via TechCrunch

[fmservers]

Sneaky subscriptions are plaguing the App Store

Subscriptions have turned into a booming business for app developers, accounting for $10.6 billion in consumer spend on the App Store in 2017, and poised to grow to $75.7 billion by 2022. But alongside this healthy growth, a number of scammers are now taking advantage of subscriptions in order to trick users into signing up for expensive and recurring plans. They do this by intentionally confusing users with their app’s design and flow, by making promises of “free trials” that convert after only a matter of days, and other misleading tactics.

Apple will soon have an influx consumer complaints on its hands, if it doesn’t reign in these scammers more quickly.

However, the company’s focus as of late has been more so on getting developers to give subscriptions a try – even holding “secret” meetings where it evangelises the business model that’s earning developers (and therefore Apple itself) a lot of money. In the meantime, a good handful of apps from bad actors have been allowed to flourish.

Utilities Top Grossing Apps are worst offenders 

Today, the majority of the Top Grossing apps on Apple’s App Store are streaming services, dating sites, entertainment apps or games. But when you get past the market leaders – apps like Fortnite, Netflix, Pandora, Tinder, Hulu, etc. – and down into the top hundreds on the Top Grossing chart, another type of app appears: Utilities.

How are apps like QR code readers, document scanners, translators, and weather apps raking in so much money? Especially when some of their utilitarian functions can be found elsewhere for much less, or even for free?

This raises the question as to whether some app developers are trying to scam App Store users by way of subscriptions.

We’ve found that does appear to be true, in many cases.

After reading through the critical reviews across the top money-making utilities, you’ll find customers complaining that the apps are too aggressive in pushing subscriptions (e.g. via constant prompts), offer little functionality without upgrading, provide no transparency around how free trials work, and make it difficult to stop subscription payments, among other things.

Here are a few examples. This is by no means a comprehensive list, but rather a representative one, just to illustrate the problem. A recent Forbes article listed many more, if you’re curious.

Scanner App – This No. 69 Top Grossing app is raking in a whopping $14.3 million per year for its document scanning utility, according to Sensor Tower data. It has an unbelievable number of customer reviews, as well – nearly 340,000 as of today, and a rating of 4.7 stars out of 5. That will lead most customers to believe this is a good and trustworthy app. But when you parse through the critical reviews, you’ll see some valid complaints.

Tap around in the app and you’ll be constantly prompted to subscribe to a subscription ranging from $3.99 a week to $4.99 per month, or start a free trial. But the subscription following the free trial kicks in after only 3 days – something that’s detailed in the fine print, but often missed. Consumers clearly don’t understand what they’re agreeing to, based on their complaints. And many of the negative reviews indicate customers feel they got duped into paying.

QR Code Reader – Forbes recently found that TinyLab’s QR Code Reader was tricking users into a ridiculously priced $156 per year subscription. This has now earned the app the rank of No. 220 Top Grossing across the App Store, and annual revenue of $5.3 million.

QR Code Scanner, via Forbes 

Again, this “free” app immediately starts pushing you to upgrade by starting a “free trial.” And again, this trial converts to a subscription after only 3 days. Can you imagine paying $156 per year for QR code scanning – something the iPhone camera app now does natively?

Weather Alarms – With a 4-star rating after hundreds of reviews, this weather alerting app seems to be handy. But in reality, it’s been using a “dark pattern” to trick users into pushing a button that will start a free trial or sign them up for subscription. And it’s working – to the tune of over a million in annual revenue.

A full screen ad appears in the app, offering two buttons – try for free or pay. The small “X” to close the ad doesn’t even immediately appear! Users then end up paying some $20/month for weather alerts. That seems…excessive?

Legitimate developers have complained about this app for months but Apple even featured it on its big screen at WWDC. (Watch the video embedded below. It’s incredible.)

This dark pattern is the best (stolen from full screen ads). The (x) close button animates in after a few seconds so that people don’t see they have a way to get off the page. Watch the upper left of the subscription page: pic.twitter.com/DaRJPvdu5Q

— David Barnard (@drbarnard) April 17, 2018

*After speaking to Apple about this app, Weather Alarms was removed from the App Store over the weekend. 

Translate Assistant – The same developer behind Weather Alarms offers this real-time translation app promising instant translations across over 100 languages and has 4.7 stars after nearly 4,000 ratings.

But the app is also super aggressive about pushing its subscriptions. With every app launch, a splash screen appears with three different boxes – 1 month ($12.99/mo), 12 months ($44.99/year), or the “free trial,” which converts users to a pricey $7.99/week plan after only 3 days.

Meanwhile, the option to “continue with a limited version” is in small, gray text that’s intentionally been designed to be hard to see.

The app is making $1.3 million a year, per Sensor Tower data.

As you can tell, the issue with many of these scammy apps is that they capitalize on people not reading the fine print, or they allow an app’s design to guide them to the right button to tap. Trickery like this isn’t anything new – it’s been around on the web as long as software has been sold. It’s just that, now, subscriptions are the hip way to scam.

These developers also know that most people – especially if they’ve just downloaded a new app – aren’t going to immediately subscribe. So they push people to their “free trial” instead. But that “free trial” is actually just an agreement to buy a subscription unless you visit the iTunes Settings and cancel it right away.

Many of these “free trials” convert almost immediately, too, which is another way developers are cashing in. They don’t give you time to think about it before they start charging.

“It’s incredibly frustrating how little has been done to thwart these scams,” says Contrast founder and longtime developer David Barnard, who apps include Weather Atlas and Launch Center Pro. “It erodes trust in the App Store which ultimately hurts Apple and conscientious developers who use subscriptions,” he says.

Apple also buries Subscription management 

The issue of scam apps may not always be the failure of App Store review. It’s possible that the scammy apps sneak in their tricks after Apple’s App Review team approves them, making them harder to catch.

But for the time being, users have to take it upon themselves to cancel these sneaky subscriptions.

Unfortunately, Apple isn’t making it as easy for users to get to their subscriptions as it could be.

Compare Apple’s design with Google Play, where the option to manage Subscriptions is in the top-level navigation:

On the iPhone, it takes several more taps and a bit of scrolling to get to the same area in iOS Settings:

  Above: Getting to subscriptions in the iPhone Settings (click images to view larger)

“I firmly believe this is not the future we should be aspiring for in terms of user experience,” says Denys Zhadanov, VP at Readdle, makers of Scanner Pro, Spark, PDF Expert and other productivity apps, speaking about these scam apps. “Apple as a platform, as an ecosystem, has always been a symbol of trust. That means people can rely on it for personal life and work needs,” he continues.

“The App Store has always been a great place, overseen and curated by highly intelligent and ethical people. I believe the App Store can stay as it always has been, if the right measures are taken to deal with those developers who trick the system,” Zhadanov adds.

Today, most subscription-based businesses thriving on the App Store come from legitimate developers. But they know how scammers could easily ruin the market for everyone involved. If allowed to continue, these scams could lead to consumer distrust in subscriptions in general.

In a worst-case scenario, consumers may even go so far as to avoid downloading apps where subscriptions are offered as in-app purchases in order to protect themselves from scams.

For now, Apple is largely relying on user and developer reports via reportaproblem.apple.com – a site most probably don’t know exists – to help them fight scammers. It needs to do more.

In addition to making access to your subscriptions easier, it also needs better police “Top Grossing” utilities and productivity apps – especially if the service’s value is questionable, and the 1-star reviews are specifically calling out concerns like “sneaky billing” or mentions other subscription tricks.

Apple declined to comment on the matter, but its Developer Guidelines clearly prohibit fraudulent behavior related to subscriptions, and insist that apps are clear about pricing. In other words, Apple has grounds to clear out these scammy subscription apps, if it chose to focus on this problem more closely in the future.

  Via Sarah Perez https://techcrunch.com

[greyheartedmoon]

Things I believe in

Ghosts Magic An all-powerful and omnipotent deity The right to religious freedom for all people, nations and parties (I celebrate the Jewish, Muslim, and Pagan communities, for example! I love you guys!) Reading good books (I really love fiction….? Wilkie Collins, Makepeace Thackeray, Deborah Harkness, Holly Black, Diana Galbadon, Jim Butcher, and so many more) That there is absolutely NO form of acceptable assault – not only in the stereotypical ‘lone woman in an alley’ form (don’t get me wrong! That is awful!), but also the casual kind: mocking a Trans individual at a bar, touching African American women’s hair and calling it ‘soft’ (tip: its fucking hair??? What were you expecting???), yelling slurs at a Muslim man in the street, etc. [I use ‘African American’ because I happen to live in America; no offense intended to African-Europeans etc. I don’t mean to imply, either, that some forms of assault are worse than others] Kittens are pretty adorable Treating members of the service community like garbage is unacceptable; they are human beings and they are providing a necessary service to society 1. Racism is very real and it definitely still exists – if you say otherwise, you are part of the problem, whether that denial is born of ignorance, stubbornness, or actual bigoted behavior(s) 2. Misogyny is very real, and it definitely still exists 3. White men DO have privilege – so do white women, if not in the same way 4. Rape Culture is a very real thing 5. Sexism is a very real thing 6. Hate Crimes are a very real thing 7. Male sexual assault is a very real thing If you denied 1-7, YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM. I’m white as you can get, and it’s only by paying attention to the people around me that I’m slowly realizing this. Staying silent is staying ignorant; I want to learn. If I ever say something that offends you, please let me know. Social mores and/or other accepted behavior, if it leads to stereotyping and stigmas, should not be tolerated. Special star to assuming African Americans are criminals/poor and insulting the mentally handicapped – those just happen to be common in the city where I live, which is why I bring them up. Assumptions, when proven incorrect, should be let go. People can lose arguments, but few will admit it – that is a problem. You need to know when you are wrong, because there’s so much more to life than being right. Part of that is growth. If you do win an argument, accept it with grace. Let people finish their freaking sentences!! If you only heard 2/3s of my sentence and you tell me I’m wrong, you thought it before I opened my mouth. Big problem. Gentlemen, I am thinking especially of you…. It’s a thing. If you don’t believe me, I ask that you go to a public space and pay attention to a conversation with men and women. Notice how often the women get to finish their sentences. It’s even worse in work places. Feminism doesn’t mean hating men (though, like any social group, there are extremists who may promote such inexcusable behavior), but rather an equality for all gender groups [the well-known comparison is men and women] Prejudice is unacceptable: against people with mental illness, against people with tattoos/facial piercings, telling all young people they should just accept things, telling all elderly folks that they’re all the same…. Things like that. They’re born of learned behavior. You should know better. Challenge what you see, people, or you become part of the problem. Finger-pointing solves nothing, no matter how tempting it may actually be – try statements like ‘I am part of the problem’ rather than ‘Well, if you >[political party slurs]< hadn’t >thing<…!’ Bees deserve our protection, and they’re being ignored. Some, if not most, of the media walks a very perilous line. I won’t use the word “corrupt”, but I will say there are very potent holes in some stories, and that their attempts at editing content/story picking definitely upsets me. (This is only from my experience; I don’t mean to vilify anyone.) Unlike people who falsely offer aid and support, I mean it when I tell people my door is open. I want to listen to you. I do want to help. Message me, anonymously if you must. Not only for emotional conflictions, either. Feeling lonely, guilty, angry or sad? Struggling with self-harm? Working on a new book? Did you finish a bomb-ass painting? Did you get cast in a play? Hear a funny joke? I want to hear from you. I would legitimately, absolutely, love to hear from you. Please, please hit me up. I’m not a doctor, true…. But you are not alone. Minimum wage is not livable. If you live on MW, you are not living in most cases, but simply enduring. I make 12.00/h (when MW is 7.25/h), and I’m barely getting by right now. (I’m also supporting two people and paying more than half of the bills, as well as most of our share of rent)(Just to put that in perspective for you) It’s okay to have unpopular opinions. Just… pay attention that you don’t let that unpopular opinion warp you into a nasty person. Seriously, it’s a hard thing; I’m just learning it myself. Standing Rock did not deserve to be manipulated like it was, and this pipeline is an inexcusable and poor choice. Mental illness is hard to live with, but harder to live with if you don’t take care of it properly. I’m not saying you shouldn’t have emotional support or the odd mental health day, but I am saying that you still have to take accountability for your behavior. Americans should have free healthcare, and, unless we can get Democrats and Republicans to work together, we aren’t going to get it. I’m also going to throw in that the COST of most medications and doctor visits is ASTRONOMICALLY overpriced. Shame on you; I shouldn’t have to skip meals to see my doctor. College should be free. It is an achievable goal, but it has been swallowed and stomped on – mostly by sheer human greed. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. If you don’t want to do something, don’t agree to do it. It isn’t only yourself that you hurt by failing to do these things. Basic propriety is, sadly, going to hell – I very rarely hear ‘thank you’, or ‘you’re welcome’, or ‘good morning’. Guys…. This stuff is important. So important… and if we don’t start showing each other respect, it’s only going to get worse. Women’s bodies should not be controlled by men’s votes. (Say it with me: PLANNED PARENTHOOD DOES SO MUCH MORE THAN ABORTIONS!!!) Further, women do have a right to an abortion. There is not an equal distribution of wealth in this country. Men and women who have great money… don’t share it. They can drive a car worth more than I make in a year, but some don’t know the names of their butlers, don’t care if they take care of their employees. That is a problem. That is what leads to revolutions –and that’s where our country is slowly heading. If you use racial slurs or hate speech, I consider you a horrible person. There is no such thing as a funny joke that marginalizes a sex, gender, race or religion. If you abuse children, your partner, animals, or anyone else, I also consider you a horrible person. If you use your religion, whatever that might be, to excuse telling other people they are unworthy/they are going to Hell, I consider you a horrible person. Protesters do not deserve to be shot or run down in the streets. However, Protesters should not be destroying public property. Irresponsible and stupid behavior such as this actually harms the validity behind the cause you’re choosing to fight for, and you should expect more from yourselves. Only cowards run away from an argument – especially if they recognize they cannot win it. Whether or not you are vegan or vegetarian, respect the rights of others to choose. By all means, offer the relevant information if it comes up… but vilifying people, judging people, is not your job. It is not my job. Being disrespectful doesn’t make you edgy. It makes you look graceless and weak, to say nothing of the wincing we do as you slowly lose your dignity. Know better. Not everyone is trying to attack you. If they are, you prove them right with such behavior and I am very disappointed in you. Questioning a group is one thing. Calling them all corrupt is another entirely – this does not only include groups who suffer from hate, but also things like the US Government.