#ESPECIALLY. to strangers. like. ugh no i iust hate life idk. i cant. im not built for dating
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my mental state: a moodboard.
#i am. maybe spiraling a bit#stopped taking my meds and its so hard to get back into the groove#and so now im judt. fucking depressed and useless#i had ONE THING. i needed to do today. but i couldnt fucking do it and i spent most of my day doomscrolling instead#im going to skip a class tomorrow. i just. cant do it#i have an exam tomorrow im fucking shitting myself over and i cannot. i am crumbling under this pressure#hahaha. also i fucking got a dating app because i thought i changed and i would be able to talk to people on them now#but the thought of replying to anyone makes me horribly anxious. so yeah#i dont even know why i bothered to download it seeing as i. just. am emotionally unavailable#ESPECIALLY. to strangers. like. ugh no i iust hate life idk. i cant. im not built for dating#i was born to become friends with people and fucking pine over them in a way that makes me unhealthily attached to them. and then#on the off chance they like me back i. would be amenable to dating but literally any other circumstance is fucking. nauseating to me#i feel like. such a failure and so. crazy!!! and i feel like it seems like i dont actually want help becahse i have had so long to get it#but i just. genuinely my life takes up so much of my energy and school is so demanding thay i cant. i just dont have the TIME or ENERGY.#to even ATTEMPT to help myself#i just feel so stuck.#jace.txt
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