heartfullofleeches · 1 year ago
Note
Who's Elliot?
Elliot Wiltshire is an og character from this blog. He, Liu and Host were probably my first besides the supernatural harem.
Elliot Wiltshire is my Slasher Film Director Yan. From a young age he adored horror movies and wanted to be a director to make his own, but mommy and daddy read his early scripts and it was either become a photographer or be sent to a psych ward. One day during a photoshoot tragedy struck when a light fixture fell and crushed a model who later died in the hospital. Elliot got everything on film and everything sorta snapped for him when he reviewed the film. He now creates what he deems to be perfect horror movies since they barely use any practical effects and searches for the perfect actors to play in them, though every now and again he develops a little crush on his victims the hired help.
Here's his first fic here
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unreliablenarratorpoll · 1 year ago
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and here's the long awaited match-ups! for the sake of readability, here it is in text form:
Left Side:
1: The Narrator (Fight Club) VS Richard Papen (The Secret History)
2: Belgarath the Sorcerer (The Belgariad) VS Lain Iwakura (Serial Experiments Lain)
3: Kim Dokja (Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint) VS Greg Heffley (Diary of a Wimpy Kid)
4: Patrick Bateman (American Psycho) VS Drosselmeyer (Princess Tutu)
5: Kuruto Ryuki (AI: The Somnium Files – Nirvana Initiative) VS Ishmael (Moby Dick)
6: Amy Elliot-Dunne (Gone Girl) VS Victor Frankenstein (Frankenstein)
7: Mary Katherine Blackwood (We Have Always Lived in the Castle) VS Odysseus (The Odysseus)
8: Pi Patel (Life of Pi) VS Alice Liddel (Alice: Madness Returns)
9: Jamie Taylor (The Haunting of Bly Manor) VS Jonny d'Ville (The Mechanisms)
10: Harrowhark Nonagesimus (The Locked Tomb) VS Elena Gilbert (The Vampire Diaries)
11: Wei Wuxian (Mo Dao Zu Shi/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation) VS The Batter (OFF)
12: Charlotte Wiltshire (Hello Charlotte) VS Yuki Takeya (School-Live!)
13: Eleanor Vance (The Haunting of Hill House) VS Cloud Strife (Final Fantasy VII)
14: Louis de Point du Lac (Interview With The Vampire) VS Harrier Du Bois (Disco Elysium)
15: Katniss Everdeen (The Hunger Games) VS Will Navidson (House of Leaves)
16: Maebara Keiichi (Higurashi: When They Cry) VS Emperor Kuzco (The Emperor's New Groove)
Right Side:
17: Holden Caulfield (Catcher in the Rye) VS Ethan Frome (Ethan Frome)
18: Kayleigh (We Had To Remove This Post) VS Attolis Eugenides (Queen's Thief)
19: Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson and the Olympians) VS Mapleshade (Warriors)
20: The Narrator (Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo) VS Offred (The Handmaid's Tale)
21: Nick Carraway (The Great Gatsby) VS Zampanò (House of Leaves)
22: Steven Crain (The Haunting of Hill House) vs David Wong (John Dies At The End)
23: Renata Ghali (Planetfall) VS Johnny Truant (House of Leaves)
24: Mfer From Telltale Heart (The Tell-Tale Heart) VS Meursault (The Stranger)
25: Ted (I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream) VS The Narrator (The Stanley Parable)
26: Genly Ai (The Left Hand of Darkness) VS Hiroshi Odokawa (Odd Taxi)
27: Frankenstein's Monster (Frankenstein) VS Varric Tethras (Dragon Age 2)
28: Cadi My Friend Cadi (Real Life) VS John The Apostle (The Bible)
29: Pelafina Heather Lièvre (House of Leaves) VS Johnny Silverhand (Cyberpunk 2077)
30: Rodion Raskolnikov (Crime and Punishment) VS Marco (Animorphs)
31: Flannery Culp (The Basic Eight) VS Daniil Dankovsky (Pathologic)
32: Cecil Palmer (Welcome To Night Vale) VS Mr. Stevens (The Remains of the Day)
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brf-rumortrackinganon · 5 months ago
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Hi RT, more examples of UK's 2000s creative fascinator/ hat craze on royal/ royal adjacent ladies ( FYI. No need to post if you don't want to as this Is just a fun send for your amusement)
Also, once I googled royal hats from longer period of 2000 - 2012 period, I was surprised at how many 'crazy' hats popped up. 
Camilla attending a wedding in the early 00s
https://c8.alamy.com/comp/2CR95TF/britains-camilla-duchess-of-cornwall-r-and-her-former-husband-andrew-parker-bowles-l-together-with-their-son-tom-top-r-leave-after-the-wedding-of-their-daughter-laura-parker-bowles-to-harry-lopes-at-st-cyriacs-church-in-lacock-wiltshire-west-england-may-6-2006-reuterstoby-melville-2CR95TF.jpg
Laura Parker Bowles at Charles and Camilla's wedding 2005
https://media-cldnry.s-nbcnews.com/image/upload/t_fit-1500w,f_auto,q_auto:best/msnbc/Components/Photos/050409/050409_wedding_heads_vmed_1p.jpg
https://c8.alamy.com/comp/G82A3M/royal-wedding-marriage-of-prince-charles-and-camilla-parker-bowles-G82A3M.jpg
Sophie Edinburgh at Charles and Camilla's wedding 2005
https://c8.alamy.com/comp/G82A34/royal-wedding-marriage-of-prince-charles-and-camilla-parker-bowles-G82A34.jpg
https://c8.alamy.com/comp/G82GNE/royal-wedding-marriage-of-prince-charles-and-camilla-parker-bowles-G82GNE.jpg
Annabel Elliot at Charles and Camilla's wedding 2005
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/e6/9a/7d/e69a7d382a38c7828d2437f790ed0f25.jpg
Kitty Spencer WK's royal wedding 2011
https://i.pinimg.com/736x/81/3e/fb/813efb326743d4e6cfb3656f63028948.jpg
https://images.hellomagazine.com/horizon/original_aspect_ratio/1048ff72d3b9-lady-kitty-spencer-william-kate-wedding-z.jpg
Zara Tindall WK's royal wedding 2011
https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/12/590x/secondary/Zara-Tindall-wore-metallic-grey-dress-for-Kate-and-William-s-wedding-4711567.avif?r=1682432587756
https://cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/12/590x/secondary/Zara-accessorised-with-a-hat-by-Phillip-Treacy-4711583.avif?r=1682432587774
Sophie Winkleman and The Queen of Belgium wore almost identical hats at WK's wedding
https://static01.nyt.com/images/2011/04/29/fashion/weddings/royal-hats-slide-1PMM/royal-hats-slide-1PMM-jumbo.jpg?quality=75&auto=webp&disable=upscale
https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/princess-mathilde-of-belgium-hat-1517328710.jpg
Royal ladies at random events 2006 - 2012
Zara Tindall
https://media-cldnry.s-nbcnews.com/image/upload/t_fit-760w,f_auto,q_auto:best/MSNBC/Components/Slideshows/_production/_archive/Today%20Show/Royals/ss-110222-royal-hats/ss-120619-royal-hats-10.jpg
Sophie Edinburgh
https://media-cldnry.s-nbcnews.com/image/upload/t_fit-760w,f_auto,q_auto:best/MSNBC/Components/Slideshows/_production/ss-110222-royal-hats/ss-110222-UK-hats-sophie2.jpg
https://media.tatler.com/photos/6141ed059f9d1339639a7862/master/w_320%2Cc_limit/gettyimages-71255119.jpg
https://hips.hearstapps.com/hmg-prod/images/princess-sophie-of-wessex-1517519704.jpg
https://i.pinimg.com/originals/5c/3b/36/5c3b361bd340e87125b952c35ed9beb1.png
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1. Ralph Tollemache, 12
The grandson of the 5th Baron Tollemache
2. Lord Oliver Cholmondeley, 13
His parents, the Marquess of Cholmondeley and his wife Rose Hanbury, are friends and neighbours of the Prince and Princess of Wales in Norfolk
3. Nicholas Barclay, 13
The grandson of Sarah Troughton, an old friend of Queen Camilla and one of her six official Companions
4. Prince George, nine
The King’s grandson and future King
5. The Marchioness of Lansdowne, 68
One of the Queen’s closest friends and a deputy lieutenant of Wiltshire, godmother to Camilla's daughter Laura Lopes
6. The King, 74
7. The Queen, 75
8. Annabel Elliot, 74
The Queen’s younger sister
9. Freddy Parker Bowles, 13
The Queen’s grandson, son of food critic Tom Parker Bowles
10. Arthur Elliot, 10
The Queen’s great nephew, grandson of Annabel Elliot
11. Gus Lopes, 13
The Queen’s grandson, son of her daughter, art curator Laura Lopes
12. Louis Lopes, 13
The Queen’s grandson, son of her daughter, art curator Laura Lopes
(via King Charles, Prince William and Prince George captured in new Coronation portrait)
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charlotte-of-wales · 2 years ago
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‘Prince George to play official role in the King’s Coronation: Second in line to the throne name as one of Charles III’s four Pages of Honour for May 6 ceremony
Prince George is to become the youngest future king to play an official role at a coronation, having been named one of his grandfather’s four Pages of Honour. T
he nine-year-old will be tasked with carrying the King’s robes alongside three other Pages of Honour - schoolboys Lord Oliver Cholmondeley, 13, Nicholas Barclay, 13, and Ralph Tollemache, 12. All three are the sons of His Majesty’s friends. Meanwhile, the Queen has chosen to include as her own Pages of Honour her three grandsons, twins Gus and Louis Lopes, 13, and Freddy Parker Bowles, 12, as well as her great-nephew, Arthur Elliot, 11.
All eight are expected to wear matching scarlet uniforms and will form part of the procession through the Nave of Westminster Abbey.
Pages of Honour traditionally wear a knee-length scarlet coat with gold trimmings over a white satin waistcoat and lace jabot - a decorative ruffle or frill falling from the collar - white breeches, white stockings and black shoes with buckles. They also carry a small ceremonial sword.
The May 6 ceremony will mark the biggest moment on the world stage for Prince George, second in line to the throne and the youngest of the eight Pages.
His parents, the Prince and Princess of Wales, are understood to have thought long and hard about whether to allow him to take on an official role, owing to his tender years. It is thought that they made their decision after discussing it with him in detail to ensure he was comfortable with carrying out such a public duty.
His siblings - Princess Charlotte, seven, and four-year-old Prince Louis, who turns five later this month - are expected to attend the Coronation but sit among the congregation. Prince George is thought likely to join them for the service.
The decision to give the Queen’s family such high-profile roles is said to represent a new era of equality behind palace walls, reflecting the King’s devotion to his wife and the realities of the modern blended family. It is thought that her granddaughters, Lola and Eliza, may also play a role in the ceremony, although further details have not yet been announced.
Palace sources noted that pages are traditionally boys and so only grandsons of a suitable age could be chosen. 
Lord Cholmondeley is the second son of the Marquess of Cholmondeley, the King’s Lord-in-Waiting, and his wife the Marchioness of Cholmondeley, former model Rose Hanbury. The couple also have a son, Alexander, Earl of Rocksavage, Lord Cholmondeley’s twin brother, and daughter, Lady Iris, seven. It is understood that Lord Cholmondeley was chosen for the Coronation role in recognition of the fact that his twin is set to inherit their father's title. The family live at Houghton Hall in Norfolk, which is just four miles from Anmer Hall, the Prince and Princess of Wales’s country retreat. The foursome are good friends.
Nicholas Barclay is the grandson of Sarah Troughton, one of the Queen’s Companions and the Lord Lieutenant of Wiltshire. The Colman’s Mustard heir is a second cousin of the King and a former lady-in-waiting to the Duchess of Kent. Her daughter, Rose - Nicholas's mother - is one of the King’s 32 godchildren.
Ralph Tollemache is the elder son of banker Edward Tollemache, also one of the King’s godchildren, who was a Page of Honour to the late Queen from 1988 to 1990. His younger brother, James, was friends with the Prince of Wales at Eton. They are the sons of brewery heir John Tollemache, 5th Baron Tollemache, and his garden designer wife Alexandra Meynell.
While Prince George will be the only one of his three siblings with an official role, all three are expected to take part in the Coronation procession from Westminster Abbey back to Buckingham Palace. Plans show that George, Charlotte and Louis will all join their grandfather and the Queen as they leave the Abbey following the ceremony. They will then likely appear together on the palace balcony.
At the past two coronations, young heirs have remained in the congregation. In 1937, Princess Elizabeth, aged just 11, watched as her father, George VI, was crowned. At Elizabeth II’s own ceremony in 1953, Charles, aged four, sat next to his grandmother Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother.’
via The Telegraph 
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bobmccullochny · 1 year ago
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History
October 20, 1818 - The U.S. and Britain agreed to set the U.S.- Canadian border at the 49th parallel.
October 20, 1935 - Mao Zedong's 6,000 mile "Long March" ended as his Communist forces arrived at Yanan, in northwest China, almost a year after fleeing Chiang Kai-shek's armies in the south.
October 20, 1944 - During World War II in the Pacific, General Douglas MacArthur set foot on Philippine soil for the first time since his escape in 1942, fulfilling his promise, "I shall return."
October 20, 1968 - Jacqueline Kennedy married multi-millionaire Greek businessman Aristotle Onassis, ending nearly five years of widowhood following the assassination of her first husband, President John F. Kennedy.
October 20, 1973 - The 'Saturday Night Massacre' occurred during the Watergate scandal as President Richard M. Nixon fired Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox and Deputy Attorney General William Ruckelshaus. Attorney General Elliot Richardson resigned. A firestorm of political protest erupted over the firings leading to widespread demands for Nixon's impeachment.
Birthday - British architect Christopher Wren (1632-1723) was born in Wiltshire, in southwestern England. Considered one of the greatest minds of his time, he designed St. Paul's Cathedral and 52 churches for the City of London. His secular buildings included the "new" wing of Hampton Court near London and Greenwich Hospital, now the Royal Naval College.
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xaracosmia · 2 years ago
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ꕥ — MARCH ACTIVITY CHECK RESULTS.
If you / your muse is on this list, that means you have failed to send in your Activity Check form to SAGE within the allotted time. If your muse is on here and you DON’T want them to be kicked for inactivity, you have 24 hours to send an ask declaring your intentions to reapp.
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ꕥ — ACE ATTORNEY
Apollo Justice
ꕥ — AI: THE SOMNIUM FILES 
Kaname Date
ꕥ  — CRASH FEVER 
Pluto
ꕥ  — DANGANRONPA
Kokichi Ouma
Sonia Nevermind
ꕥ  — DC COMICS
Val Armorr
ꕥ  — DEATH NOTE
Near
ꕥ  — DEMON SLAYER / KIMETSU NO YAIBA
Senjuro Rengoku
ꕥ  — DISCO ELYSIUM
Jean-Heron Vicquemare 
ꕥ  — ENSEMBLE STARS
Keito Hasumi
Izumi Sena
ꕥ  — FINAL FANTASY
XIV.
Bababee Boboba ( WOL Scholar )
Estinien Varlineau
ꕥ  — FIRE EMBLEM
ENGAGE.
Alcryst
Yunaka
FATES.
Azura
THREE HOUSES.
Dorothea Arnault 
ꕥ  — GENSHIN IMPACT
Childe Tartaglia
ꕥ  — GINTAMA
Kamui
ꕥ  — HELLO CHARLOTTE
Charlotte “Lotte” Wiltshire 
ꕥ  — INVINCIBLE
Mark Grayson
ꕥ  — JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE
Bruno Buccellati
ꕥ  — KIRBY
Kirby
ꕥ  — LEGEND OF ZELDA
TWILIGHT PRINCESS
Midna
ꕥ  — MAHOYAKU /  PROMISE OF WIZARD
Heathcliff Blanchett
ꕥ  — NARUTO
Tobirama Senju
ꕥ  — NEON WHITE
Neon White
ꕥ  — ORIGINAL CHARACTERS
Eisheaia
Grammar Agaz
Mochizou Miwa
Pollyanna Harman 
Uldreyin “Tripp” Helevaris Iii 
ꕥ  — OVERWATCH
Brigitte Lindholm
ꕥ  — THE OWL HOUSE
Raine Whispers
ꕥ  — PANDORA HEARTS
Elliot Nightray 
Xerxes Break
ꕥ  — PERCY JACKSON AND THE OLYMPIANS
Luke Castellan
ꕥ  — PERSONA
5.
Yusuke Kitagawa
ꕥ  — PROJECT SEKAI
Ena Shinonome
Mizuki Akiyama
ꕥ  — SK8 THE INFINITY
Reki Kyan
ꕥ  — SPLATOON
Agent 8 
ꕥ  — TIGER & BUNNY
Barnaby Brooks Jr.
ꕥ  — TWISTED WONDERLAND
Kalim Al-Asim
ꕥ  — YUGIOH! 
Aluber the Jester of Despia
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namesetc · 2 years ago
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Lamb Names Part 2
based on types of sheep
adal
aci
acipa / acipay
acipayam
alpine
atley / atlay
ancon
aussie
aussiedown
arcott
arles
ardi
ardia
blue
bou
bouill
bouillet
braun / braune
brian
brianzo
brianzola
barbary
churro
cam
cameron
cameroon
castle
charmoise
charoll
charollais
chevoit
chios
churra
cikta
cine
capari
clun
columbia
comi
comisan
comisana
cool
coola
coolalee
cormo
corrie
corriedale
coast
croix
dale
dala
debo / debou
debouil
debouillet
derby
din
dorper
dorset
down
deut
devon
drenth
drys
dean
delaine
east
edilbay
elliot / elliott
folk
fory
forystufe
fabrian
faroe
finn
flander
fugle
fell
grit
galic
galicia
galician
galway
grey
gulf
hamp
hampshire
hebri
hebridean
herdwick
herik
hill
iceland
icelandic
ice
jo
jacob
katahdin
kata / katah
karakul
karayaka
kara
kul
kem
kempen
kerry
kivircik
kivi
kivir
kashmir
lincoln
lei
leicester
lacaune
latxa
leccese
leine
llan
lleyn
lonk
merino
milk
moorit
massese
mitchelle
maritza
nava
navajo
noire
north
olde
oxford
ovis
pen
panama
polypay
pitt
portland
port
poll
rambo / rambou
red
racka
rideau
rhoen
romanov
rom
romney
roslag
rouge
rosa
rya
rye
ryeland
suffolk
shire
southdown
south
stein
steinschaf
sakiz
scott
serai / serrai
shet / shett
shetland
sici
sicilia
soay
swifter
sane
texel
tautra
valais
vala
valas
velay
vendeen
wensley
white
wilt
wilti
wiltipoll
wiltshire
xalda
xaxi
yak
yaka
yellow
yemen
zackel
zaian
zel
zelazna
zela
zemour / zemmour
zeta
zoulay
source
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sitp-recs · 3 years ago
Note
hey liv! thank you for running this blog and singlehandedly making me fall down the drarry rabbit hole again :) your recs are truly amazing and i hope you know this fandom appreciates you so much. i know you get a lot of asks so i'd hate to overwhelm you but i was wondering if you had more humour recs? i sort of... ahem... read all the ones in your master list... idk if this is a genre you're very interested in but if you have more recs i'd be so so delighted <3 thank you!!
I’m always up for dragging more people down the Drarry rabbit role, that’s music to my ears 😌 I don’t really read a lot of humor (more like fluff or smut with a humorous tone?) but I hope you enjoy these as much as I did! Linking the other reclist here, if anyone else’s interested :)
@drarrytrash just reminded me of how funny Stately Homes is so I’ve added it to the list! Time for a reread, I think...
Muggle 'Drug Store Items' by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (2016, E, 4k)
Malfoy's interest is caught by a certain Muggle drug store item.
Ring of Fire by IvvyMoon (2015, E, 5k)
Draco gets a tattoo.
All Tied Up by MyNameIsThunder (2020, M, 6k)
Blaise is determined to find out why the entrance to the Slytherin common room is acting up all of a sudden. Draco is determined to keep it a secret.
Luckiest Fucking Size Queen Alive by @l0vegl0wsinthedark (2016, E, 6k)
Potter escorts me home, presses me into my front door and kisses me with a ferocity that’s exhilarating.
It Never Occurred to Me That I Would Fall in Love With a Frenchman by lamerezouille (2013, T, 6.5k)
Harry kisses Draco in a public place. All hell breaks loose.
Sweet Indulgence by @the-sinking-ship (2020, E, 10k)
It doesn't matter that Marcy from Accounting is dancing on the tables, Shacklebolt is wearing antlers, and Elliot from Transportation is on his third round of Mariah Carey on karaoke because all the free champagne in the world won't salvage the Ministry Christmas party for Draco if Potter doesn't show up soon.
Aural Gratification by birdsofshore (2014, E, 11k)
Harry's not gay – he just likes listening to exciting stories about Aurors. It's not his fault that the narrator's voice is so smooth, so expressive... and really rather hot.
Tooth Fairy Fights and Wisdom Teeth Wars: Draco and Harry's Great Big Dental Adventure by @icmezzo (2012, E, 13k)
Harry never had a visit from the Tooth Fairy when he was a boy, but now that he's had his wisdom teeth pulled, he's tempted to try again.
Potter’s Parselprostate (and the Chamber of Secrets) by @dictacontrion (2014, E, 17k)
Hogwarts’ future depends on Malfoy’s texts. Too bad the key is up Potter’s arse.
A Hyperactive Fruit, a Nasty Neighbour and a Love Story by synonym4life (2017, E, 20k)
Potter’s pet Niffler is wreaking havoc in Godric’s Hollow and Draco, the Assistant Head to the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, is the one who has to deal with it. Repeatedly.
Of Hoof Picks, Centaurs and Flight by @blamebrampton (2012, G, 21k)
Harry has promised that he will not do anything to upset the new head of Magical Creatures. Even if it is Draco Malfoy.
Stately Homes of Wiltshire by waspabi (2016, E, 57k)
Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.
The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (2020, M, WIP)
This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine.
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kwebtv · 4 years ago
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The Spanish Princess -  Starz  -  May 5, 2019 - June 23, 2019
Period Drama (8 episodes)
Running Time:  60 minutes
Stars:
Alicia Borrachero as Queen Isabella
Laura Carmichael as Margaret "Maggie" Pole
Daniel Cerqueira as De Fuensalida
Aaron Cobham as Oviedo
Elliot Cowan as Henry VII, King of England
Philip Cumbus as Thomas Wolsey
Georgie Henley as Margaret "Meg" Tudor
Charlotte Hope as Catherine of Aragon
Angus Imrie as Arthur, Prince of Wales
Stephanie Levi-John as Lina de Cardonnes, Lady-in-Waiting to Catherine of Aragon
Alan McKenna as Sir Richard Pole
Alexandra Moen as Elizabeth of York
Ruairi O'Connor as Harry, Duke of York
Nadia Parkes as Rosa de Vargas
Richard Pepper as Thomas Boleyn, Earl of Wiltshire
Jordan Renzo as Charles "Charlie" Brandon
Olly Rix as Edward Stafford
Harriet Walter as Margaret Beaufort
Recurring
Mamadou Doumbia as John Blanke
Isla Merrick-Lawless as Princess Mary
Guest
Patrick Gibson as Richard of York
Kenneth Cranham as Bishop John Morton
Luka Perros as Christopher Columbus
Norman Bowman as William Dunbar
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heartfullofleeches · 2 years ago
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Cinema (Elliot Wiltshire intro story)
Male Yandere Oc x GN reader
Plot: You finally get to meet your favorite director at your local theater's indie film night.
AN: For an anon that asked for a story with a similar plot. I had this in devlopement and hope it's too your liking
Word count: 2.5k
Warning: gore mentions
Indie movie night.  An event you looked forward to on each date . Every other Friday, your local movie theater hosts films from smaller production studios, most coming from the nearby college or filmed in the backyards of your neighbors. A way to connect with the community – as the owner stated. The movies varied in quality as such an event would have; but there was always one director who had seats packed every opening show.
Mr. E. Wiltshire. A lover of all things macabre as the handle on his social media page proclaimed. If his works were a measure of that passion, then what he claimed was true to the letter. As one would guess, he area of expertise was horror films; specifically gorey blood baths meant as a shock factor as well as a display of gruesome art. The terror in the actor’s eye would become that of whoever witnessed the feat’s; screams leaving everyone pale upon exit of the theater. The gore was on par with major studios; the slice of a blade or hack of a saw heavy with so much detail and precision – almost as if it were all real. 
Needless to say, he became quite popular in town with a decent fanbase; and you the best one. You were always the first in line for tickets; glued to your seat until the lights came on. You tried to find out more about him, but information was so hard to come by. The only link you had was the page listed on a pamphlet you got one night. It hasn’t been updated in months, the only post about a new camera he had gotten around the time. Still determined, you sent a message to him; a couple – though embracing to admit. Unfortunately you never got a reply, even if that little green light next to his name appeared.
Regardless, you remained a loyal fan, even gaining a few friends in the process; which led you to where you were one chill Friday eve. You were waiting at the theater’s doors, two tickets in hand. Two months prior, you were stopped by someone as you were leaving; bashful and stumbling on his words – but able to get his point across in the end. He claimed to be a fellow fan of Wiltshire’s films, seeing you at every show and finally having the courage to walk up and talk to you. With that mutual interest you became fast friends, meeting up at every show since. 
Tonight, however, was special. A poster on a wall beside you boasted of the events to come; at last – a  meet and greet with the mysterious director. It was all you and your friend could talk about until yesterday; both of you excited to finally meet your favorite director. It was odd that he wasn’t here by now; in fact, no one was. Sure you had gotten there about thirty minutes early, but you usually were the only earlier bird.
Brushing it aside, you enter the theater. It was getting too cold for you to keep waiting outside. The warmth of the lobby wraps around you; the smell of buttery popcorn in the air. With your first few steps inside, you bump into someone coming from the opposing corridor. You take the brunt of the collision, falling back along with whatever he was holding falling beside you. Shaking off the force, your’re meet with a hand at face level.
“Sorry about that. Need a hand?” You take it, breath leaving you as he pulls you up with one swift motion. He was wearing a turtleneck, its sleeve brushing your palm as he held it. Side swept auburn hair framed the left side of his face; roots of strawberry curls poking through. They failed to cover the side of his head; namely where his ear, the lobe missing and being stitched hastily closed at one point. His soft hazel eyes stare into yours, a smile spreading – his fingers squeezing your hand lightly.
“Is everything alright?” 
You snap to attention. “Oh, yea. Just a bit winded I guess.”
He chuckles. “Guess that fall hit harder than I thought. Are you here for the indie film tonight?”
“Yes, I am actually. I’m looking forward to meeting the director afterwards. I’m a big fan.”
“That so? Well I hope you enjoy the show.” He finally lets go of your hand, reaching down to pick up his possession. Tucking the camera under his arm, he looks back at you one final time.
“And I do mean that, Y/n~”
You turn to him, already gone into the abyss that was the back of the theater. That was - odd. You had been to this theater a lot, so maybe he heard your name in passing. Maybe it was all in your head. You didn’t have time to worry about it. It was almost time for the show, and your friend still hadn’t arrived. You pull out your phone to message him, spotting a notification on screen instead. It was a message from E himself, sent only a few minutes ago. You quickly open it, forgetting about your friend for just a moment.
“Good evening, Y/n. I apologize for never returning your messages, we have been so busy with productions lately. As an apology, I’ve sent you the poster for tonight’s film. Unfortunately; we didn’t have the time to get it printed for the theater, but I thought you might like to see it personally.”
Below the wall of text was a picture. A shadowy figure sat in a dark room, another hovering over with its hands near the former's neck. A human heart was silhouetted behind the pair; traces of blood on the standing individuals' palms and the faint trace of a smile on its face. A light in the corner of the frame acted as the only source of Illumination for the picture; casted over the unsuspecting victim and the slasher as well as the room. Faint, round structures were littered about; appearing like tombstones – or the backs of chairs.
“Love's façade.” A title marked in bold red lettering; seeming to have been written on the paper itself rather than in the drawing.
“See you soon.”
Your eyes widen. Your friend was not going to believe this. You look around the room once more. Still no sign of him, and it was almost show time. He could buy his own ticket at this point. You head to the theater area, all signs blank except for the final one on the plot. Entering, you're met with the silence of an empty theater and a blank screen; the light of the projector feeding into the room. As the doors click back into place the movie begins; you scrambling to a seat as it starts.
There were no beginning credits, the film opening on a shot of a picture falling to the floor. It was of a model; skin smooth and full of shine; teeth pearly and hair of silk. More follow the same person in different positions, smiling and posing carefree; unaware of the danger looming beyond frame. It slowly crept forth, a falling black mass that grew closer with each snap of the camera.
Closer.
And closer. 
And closer, until.. it collided with their skull.
The pictures continue; glass from a fallen stage light littered the floor; blood pooling on the white surface below. The model, once beautiful and full of youth, now laid glass-eyed and bathed in their own blood like a crimson snow angel. The shots focused on their slack limbs, the bits of gore spilling from their head, the lifelessness in their dead eyes – blow leaking from their sockets like red tears. The pictures of them stop, but others appear. A smiling face here, a bludgeoned skull the next slide. The acts of violence and vague features of the victims almost seemed - familiar. As the slides went on, the images became more crude and mocking. Eyes scratched out where someone had theirs removed, edges burnt where someone was burned alive. This held a different passion that those before it; one born of pure hatred overall. This cycle of gore persisted until the final image; one that brought chills far worse than any before it.
 You couldn’t even make out much detail; the only thing remaining a pile of red mush and shards of skull poking through – but that’s not what caught your attention. The before picture was of two people this time. The one on the left was so scratched up you weren’t able to tell who it was, but the one on the right was a different story. It was yet another of a person in their prime, grinning stupidly with their arm around the other. What differentiated this one from the rest was its border. A red heart drawn around their face as well as over their eyes. Though the picture was shotty, you could almost recognize its surroundings and the face on screen. The screen fades to black before you can get a closer look.
It opens once more to the shot of a theater, the very one you now sat in. A man sat in the lobby behind a white table, leg bouncing aimlessly; hands over his mouth. He wore a gray turtleneck, collar concealing his face further. He places his head in his lap; right as the movie jump cuts to another scene.
“Elliot, we’ve been over this.”
He was now sitting at a kitchen table, camera pointed on him though others spoke in the background. Their words sound slightly off, like they were on recording. The camera pans down to the table as a script is tossed upon it.
“You can’t keep writing this shit. It’s repulsive.”
“I just think that-"
“I don’t want to hear it. Your mother and I are tired of it. If I hear one more thing about this film bullshit I’m going to break your wrists so you can never write again!”
A fist slams on the table, echoing as the shot returns to the theater. A door opens off screen, footsteps easing down the hall till they reach the lobby. Normally, extras would be seen in a place like this, but there were none. You couldn’t expect much from indie films, but the vacant added any extra level of eeriness. It looked like all the machines were off too. 
“Excuse me?”
Elliot looks up. The camera slowly zooms up to the figure on the other side of the table. Your heart tightens in your chest. They looked almost exactly like you, down to the sweater you lost weeks ago. There were slight differences; natural hair color visible through the one that mirrored yours, skin pale and clothes slightly baggy. They also wore a mask to cover their own features, something that Elliott doesn’t seem to mind as he speaks up.
“Yes?”
“A-are you the person that made tonight’s film?”
“Yea..” He clears his throat. “Yeah I am…” He stands up, holding out his hand. “I’m Elliott.”
They take it. “Y/n.”
-
The scene changes abruptly, like a channel changing station. It was yet another shot of the theater albeit much grainier and shot on a different camera. The cameraman breathed heavily, seeming to be waiting for someone or thing. The lens zoomed in on the doors to a room, angled from outside the theater as a whole. A single person walks through the doors, turning in the direction of the exit. A slight smile struck their face, skin riddled with goosebumps. Their eyes shift out the door; then it cuts to black once more – cutting off angled at the sweater they wore. 
You cling onto your seat. You couldn’t move.
The next scene shows a bus stop. The person from before sitting on one of the seats. The cameraman walks up to them as they become noticeably tense upon his arrival. 
“Were you waiting long?” 
They shake their head. “No..”
“I’m glad. I have a new film for you to watch. You’ll be the first to see it.” 
“G-great.” 
Elliott grabs them by this arm. “Come on. I’ll take you home.” As he pulls them to his chest, you hear the faintest whisper of more dialog.
“Play your part right or you'll end up like the others.” 
-
The hiss of a bus’s door plays out as someone exits onto a dark street. From around the corner, a camera's eye catches as they head home; obvious to the one following close behind. It trails them until they reach the front door, creeping beneath a window as they venture further into their house. A gloved hand touches the window. 
-
“I love you so.. so much. You know what?”
Shakily breaths turn into hyperventilation as a bloody hand touches the wood of a mask. 
“Does that mean you’ll accept the truth? Y/n?”
A tarp lies on the floor, stained so deeply that any traces of its former color were gone. Various tools were scattered about the area, some of which you soon recognized. A hatchet from a film about a cannibal butcher, a knife wrapped in a white bow from one about a widower – who had never been married in the first place.
“Y..yes, of course I do, Elliot. I love you too. So please...”
Elliot cups their face, stroking their cheek with his thumb. “Fiction lets us live out our wildest fantasies, doesn’t it, Y/n. The thrill of a kill, the thirsts for carnage – the wants of love. But..  what happens.. when that isn’t enough? 
Elliott’s finger sink into the mask, ripping it from their face. Even with contacts the same color as your eyes, all he feels is emptiness. The actor behinds to sob.
“But it doesn’t matter. You’re not them. You could never be them, but someday soon, my fantasy will be reality.”
A loud scream cuts through the theater, their faint left to yet another dark screen. Elliot walks to a nearby table, pointing the camera at the laptop on it. A message chat was displayed on screen, a familiar handle visible at the top. He shuts the window down, countless folders along the desktop; its background photo a picture of you. He clicks on one of the folders, scanning through its contents. Pictures from your own social media page and ones taken personally filled the folder. You posing with an old poster for one of his movies. You at work or out on the town minding your own business. They get closer with each click; one taken of you right before you entered the theater room that night. The final one is of you and your friend, before the laptop is forced shut.
You pull your phone out to call the police, a second wave of nausea hitting as you unlock it. Your phone was still open on the chat between you and E. Upon a second look at the poster, you could see the figure behind was wearing a gray turtleneck sweater.
“Did you like the movie, Y/n?”
His voice comes from behind; a chilling whisper in your ear. 
“You were the first to ever watch my movies. I was going to make you a new star to thank you and make you immortalized on film, but while watching you I realized that beauty like you can’t be caught on film.”
You can feel the smile creeping on his face against your neck. 
“So did you like our movie? It’s partly based on a true story…”
-
Police tape dons the front door of the theater, sirens blaring as two individuals talk on the hood of a car.
“What a shit show. Can you believe it took so long for people to recognize someone in that freak’s films?”
“It’s a small town.”
Confused shouts come from the crowd as someone squeezes through. “Chief? We got another missing person’s report.”
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heyho-simonrussellbeale · 3 years ago
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My favourite author or book
I don’t have a single favourite, but I have read Hilary Mantel’s A Place of Greater Safety three times. She has an uncanny ability to transform rather forbidding historical figures — like Robespierre — into sympathetic and attractive characters. There is also a sensual element to her writing that is very compelling.
The book I’m reading Albert and the Whale by Philip Hoare, a quirky exploration of Albrecht Dürer’s work.
The book I wish I’d written Anything by Simon Schama or Julian Barnes — the latter’s book about Shostakovich, The Noise of Time, for example. Schama’s writing is always rich and generous and full of an enthusiasm for the complexity of the story he’s telling. Barnes writes prose that is lean, balanced and pretty well perfect.
The book I couldn’t finish I’ve tried to read Don Quixote three or four times and I can tell it’s very good, but I always run out of steam. I’ll keep trying.
The book I’m ashamed I haven’t read I know with absolute certainty that I will never read Finnegans Wake by James Joyce, although I’m not really ashamed about it.
My favourite film Fanny and Alexander by Ingmar Bergman, a very sombre film with really sensational acting. Anything Scandinavian makes me go weak at the knees — Babette’s Feast, for example.
My favourite play At the moment it’s King Lear, but this will probably change. There are just too many good plays around. King Lear is grim, of course, but I find the story of a redemptive reconciliation that is just out of reach very moving.
The box set I’m hooked on I’m not watching anything in particular just now, but I loved Call My Agent!, which I finished a couple of months ago. It seems to be a fairly accurate, if heightened, depiction of what my poor agent has to go through.
My favourite TV series Because I work in the evenings, I rarely watch TV, so I’m a bit slow catching up with the latest programmes. Am I allowed to say that Chernobyl was the best thing I’ve seen on television for a very long time? Everything about it — the acting, the writing, the direction — is impeccable, although I found the whole thing very distressing. It’s such a savage warning for all of us.
My favourite piece of music This is impossible to answer. My favourite composers are a little predictable — Beethoven, Schubert, Brahms; all the big hitters. I like to listen to a lot of composers at any one time. At the moment it’s Stravinsky.
The last TV programme that made me cry The late-night Olympic round-up (and the breakfast coverage) has made me cry nearly every day over the past few weeks.
The lyric I wish I’d written Just One of Those Things written by Cole Porter [for the 1935 musical Jubilee]. It’s astonishingly elaborate and witty at the same time: “It was just one of those things/ Just one of those crazy flings/ One of those bells that now and then rings/ Just one of those things/ It was just one of those nights/ Just one of those fabulous flights/ A trip to the moon on gossamer wings/ Just one of those things.” There’s a recording of I Remember You sung by Peggy Lee, which is a reminder of how good those lyrics are.
The poem that saved me A few moments ago I read a poem called To His Love by Ivor Gurney, which took my breath away. Every so often I bump into a poem that has an impact like that, and often they are poems that I have been familiar with for a long time but just haven’t thought carefully about.
The instrument I play I learnt the piano as a young boy and still play today.
The instrument I wish I’d learnt I had to learn the oboe at school and like it well enough, but I wish I’d learnt the cello.
The music that cheers me up Make Your Own Kind of Music by Mama Cass Elliot, For Once in My Life by Stevie Wonder, but sung by the cast of Glee, and the last movement of Beethoven’s fourth symphony.
If I could own one painting . . . It would be one of Pieter Bruegel the Elder’s. I find the details of the daily life he saw around him absolutely mesmerising.
The place I’m happiest The downs of north Wiltshire.
My guiltiest cultural pleasure Rom-coms — the more sentimental, the better. I started out, like so many people, with When Harry Met Sally, and I suppose that became a rather impressive yardstick. There are so many others that I can’t even remember their titles. And I have to confess to enjoying Sunday evenings in front of the Antiques Roadshow.
I’m having a fantasy dinner party. I’ll invite these artists and authors . . . Shakespeare (obviously), Richard Burbage, his great leading actor, Madame de Pompadour (not exactly an artist, but a patron), and a great chef from the past like Carême or Escoffier.
And I’ll put on this music . . . Something by Ravel — light and chic.
The play that I’m looking forward to Ian McKellen in Hamlet — a chance to watch a master at work. I’m not sure the dates will work out, though.
Simon Russell Beale is the narrator of Regeneration, The Eye in the Door and The Ghost Road, Pat Barker’s trilogy, which are published by Penguin Audio on August 31. He stars in Bach & Sons at the Bridge Theatre, London SE1 (bridgetheatre.co.uk)
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bm2ab · 7 years ago
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Castle's Rock - 09 April 2019 Old Wardour Castle Tisbury, Wiltshire, England
Wardour Castle is located at Wardour, on the boundaries of Tisbury and Donhead St Andrew in the English county of Wiltshire, about 15 miles (24 km) west of Salisbury. The castle was built in the 1390s and partially destroyed in 1643 and 1644 during the English Civil War. It is managed by English Heritage who have designated it as a grade I listed building, and is open to the public.
The castle was built on land previously owned by the St Martin family, but when Sir Lawrence de St Martin died in 1385 it was handed over to John, the fifth Baron Lovell for reasons unknown. It was built using locally quarried Tisbury greensand, with William Wynford as the master mason, after Baron Lovell had been granted permission by Richard II in 1392. It was inspired by the hexagonal castles then in fashion in parts of the Continent, particularly in France; but its own six-sided design is unique in Britain, as is its inclusion of several self-contained guest suites.
After the fall of the Lovell family following their support of the Lancastrian cause during the Wars of the Roses, the castle was confiscated in 1461 and passed through several owners until bought by Sir Thomas Arundell of Lanherne in 1544. The Arundells were an ancient and prominent Cornish family, the principal branches of which were seated at the manors of Lanherne, Trerice, Tolverne and Menadarva in Cornwall. The family held several estates in Wiltshire. The castle was confiscated when Sir Thomas — a staunch Roman Catholic — was executed for treason in 1552, but in 1570 was bought back by his son, Sir Matthew Arundell, later a Sheriff and Custos Rotulorum of Dorset. The Arundells, led by Thomas Arundell, 1st Baron Arundell of Wardour, subsequently became known as some of the most active of the Catholic landowners in England at the time of the Reformation; thus they were naturally Royalists in the English Civil War. During that conflict, Thomas Arundell, 2nd Baron Arundell of Wardour, was away from home on the King’s business and had asked his wife, Lady Blanche Arundell, aged 61, to defend the castle with a garrison of 25 trained fighting men. On 2 May 1643 Sir Edward Hungerford, with 1,300 men of the Parliamentarian Army, demanded admittance to search for Royalists. He was refused and laid siege, setting about the walls with guns and mines. After five days the castle was threatened with complete destruction. Lady Arundell agreed to surrender, and the castle was placed under the command of Colonel Edmund Ludlow. Lord Arundell had died of his wounds after the Battle of Stratton, and his son, Henry 3rd Lord Arundell, next laid siege to his own castle, blew up much of it and obliged the Parliamentary garrison to surrender in March 1644.
The family slowly recovered power through the English Commonwealth and the Glorious Revolution, until the eighth Baron, Henry Arundell, borrowed sufficient funds to finance rebuilding. This was done by the prominent Palladian James Paine. Paine built Wardour New Castle, but left the Wardour Old Castle as an ornamental feature. In stylistic terms the New Castle is not a castle at all, but a symmetrical neoclassical country house with a main block built around a central staircase hall and two flanking wings. Paine integrated the ruins of the Old Castle into the surrounding parkland, intending it to be viewed as a romantic ruin.
The castles, old and new, have been featured in several films. The Old Castle appeared in the 1991 Kevin Costner feature Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, and more recently was used as a film location for The Journey to Aresmore released in 2016. The New Castle served as the dance school in Billy Elliot. The cover of Sting's album Ten Summoner's Tales was photographed inside Old Wardour Castle.
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bobmccullochny · 2 years ago
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History
October 20, 1818 - The U.S. and Britain agreed to set the U.S.- Canadian border at the 49th parallel.
October 20, 1935 - Mao Zedong's 6,000 mile "Long March" ended as his Communist forces arrived at Yanan, in northwest China, almost a year after fleeing Chiang Kai-shek's armies in the south.
October 20, 1944 - During World War II in the Pacific, General Douglas MacArthur set foot on Philippine soil for the first time since his escape in 1942, fulfilling his promise, "I shall return."
October 20, 1968 - Jacqueline Kennedy married multi-millionaire Greek businessman Aristotle Onassis, ending nearly five years of widowhood following the assassination of her first husband, President John F. Kennedy.
October 20, 1973 - The 'Saturday Night Massacre' occurred during the Watergate scandal as President Richard M. Nixon fired Special Prosecutor Archibald Cox and Deputy Attorney General William Ruckelshaus. Attorney General Elliot Richardson resigned. A firestorm of political protest erupted over the firings leading to widespread demands for Nixon's impeachment.
Birthday - British architect Christopher Wren (1632-1723) was born in Wiltshire, in southwestern England. Considered one of the greatest minds of his time, he designed St. Paul's Cathedral and 52 churches for the City of London. His secular buildings included the "new" wing of Hampton Court near London and Greenwich Hospital, now the Royal Naval College.
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ferulahq · 6 years ago
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Your mind wanders as you stand in the middle of Diagon Alley, the hustle and bustle of the crowd around you shifting and gawking and gossiping, a million eyes on you as crowds part for the bewildered new face in the chaos. A man steps from the throng and smacks a Daily Prophet to your chest before you have time to react. He smells of tobacco and grief, but his eyes are bright and he’s the one face on the street with a smile. “Welcome to the new world, mate. It’s all changin’, now.” He barks out a laugh and disappears back into the masses, and, as you look around at the wreckage and the renewal, you have to believe him: everything is changing.
Thank you so much to everyone who’s applied and showed interest! We’ll be sending out instant messages to all of our applicants as soon as possible, so please bear with us over the next hour. Under the cut, you’ll find the accepted applications! For all of our accepted applicants, please refer to our new member checklist on further instructions. Welcome to FERULAHQ!
REECE KING // have you met BLAISE ZABINI yet? HE is a TWENTY year old CIS MALE PUREBLOOD. they live in LONDON, ENGLAND, but they’re originally from FLORENCE, ITALY. they are best known for being a MAGICAL LAW STUDENT and SOCIALITE, and i hear they’re pretty BRILLIANT yet also VAIN at times; i hope they continue to heal. (kimi, 22, gmt +8, she/her)
LIN YUN // have you met CHO CHANG yet? SHE is a TWENTY ONE year old CIS FEMALE PUREBLOOD. they live in LONDON, but they’re originally from BANCHORY. they are best known for being a BARMAID, and i hear they’re pretty GOOD-NATURED yet also ADAMANTINE at times; i hope they continue to heal. (moe, 24, aest, they/them)
KEITH POWERS // have you met DEAN THOMAS yet? HE is a NINETEEN year old CIS MALE HALF-BLOOD. they live in LONDON, but they’re originally from DALKEY. they are best known for being a BROOMMAKER & SHOPKEEPER, and i hear they’re pretty OPEN-MINDED yet also RESERVED at times; i hope they continue to heal. (eloise, 19, cst, she/her)
NICLAS GILLIS // have you met DRACO LUCIUS MALFOY yet? HE is a TWENTY year old CIS MALE PUREBLOOD. they live in LONDON, but they’re originally from WILTSHIRE, ENGLAND. they are best known for being currently UNEMPLOYED, and i hear they’re pretty CLEVER yet also OBSTINATE at times; i hope they continue to heal. (troy, 21, est, they/them)
MARC GOLDFINGER // have you met GEORGE WEASLEY yet? HE is a TWENTY ONE year old CIS MALE PUREBLOOD. they live in LONDON, but they’re originally from OTTERY ST. CATCHPOLE. they are best known for being the SOLE OWNER OF WEASLEYS’ WIZARD WHEEZES, and i hear they’re pretty PROTECTIVE yet also RECLUSIVE at times; i hope they continue to heal. (sam, 23, cst, she/her)
JOSEFINE FRIDA PETTERSEN // have you met HANNAH ABBOTT yet? SHE is a TWENTY year old CIS FEMALE HALF-BLOOD. they live in HOGSMEADE VILLAGE, but they’re originally from BALLYCASTLE, NORTHERN IRELAND. they are best known for being a BARMAID AT THE THREE BROOMSTICKS, and i hear they’re pretty CHARMING yet also SELF DEPRECATING at times; i hope they continue to heal. (ri, 21+, pst, she/her)
JUNG JINSOUL // have you met LUNA LOVEGOOD yet? SHE is an EIGHTEEN year old CIS FEMALE PUREBLOOD. they live in OTTERY ST. CATCHPOLE, but they’re originally from OTTERY ST. CATCHPOLE. they are best known for being a MAGIZOOLOGIST, and i hear they’re pretty BENEVOLENT yet also UNORTHODOX at times; i hope they continue to heal. ( lilly, 21+, est, she/her )
ALBERTO ROSENDE // have you met NEVILLE LONGBOTTOM yet? THEY are a NINETEEN year old NON BINARY PUREBLOOD. they live in LONDON, but they’re originally from TUTSHILL. they are best known for being a BARTENDER AT THE LEAKY CAULDRON, and i hear they’re pretty LOYAL yet also ANXIOUS at times; i hope they continue to heal. (cal, 21, mst, she/her)
JENNIE KIM // have you met PANSY PARKINSON yet? SHE is a TWENTY year old CIS FEMALE PUREBLOOD. they live in WIZARDING LONDON, but they’re originally from ESHER, SURREY. they are best known for being a (GLORIFIED INTERN) WRITER AT THE DAILY PROPHET, and i hear they’re pretty BEGUILING yet also MANIPULATIVE at times; i hope they continue to heal. (ivy, twenty-one, cst, she/her )
ELLIOT FLETCHER // have you met SEAMUS FINNIGAN yet? HE is a TWENTY year old TRANSMASCULINE HALF-BLOOD. they live in LONDON, but they’re originally from KENMORE. they are best known for being a BARTENDER AT THE LEAKY CAULDRON, and i hear they’re pretty MODEST yet also TEMPERAMENTAL at times; i hope they continue to heal. (cam, twenty-one, est, he/him)
KAILEY HSU // have you met SUE LI yet? SHE is a TWENTY year old CIS FEMALE HALF-BLOOD. they live in FALMOUTH, but they’re originally from LONDON. they are best known for being a JOURNALIST, and i hear they’re pretty INTUITIVE yet also UNFORGIVING at times; i hope they continue to heal. (sammy, 20, cst, she/her)
ABIGAIL COWEN // have you met SUSAN BONES yet? SHE is a TWENTY year old CIS WOMAN HALF-BLOOD. they live in WIZARDING LONDON, but they’re originally from OTTERY ST CATCHPOLE. they are best known for being an ASSISTANT AT THE MINISTRY OF MAGIC, and i hear they’re pretty CARING yet also RETICENT at times; i hope they continue to heal. (tay, 23, est, she/her)
LANA CONDOR // have you met TRACEY DAVIS yet? SHE is a TWENTY year old CIS FEMALE HALF-BLOOD. they live in LONDON, but they’re originally from IRELAND. they are best known for being a MAZOOLOGIST, and i hear they’re pretty LYRICAL yet also EASILY DISCOURAGED at times; i hope they continue to heal. (janel, 20, pst, she/her)
RYAN POTTER // have you met ZACHARIAS SMITH yet? HE is a TWENTY year old CIS MALE PUREBLOOD. they live in LONDON, but they’re originally from LONDON. they are best known for being an ASSISTANT IN THE DEPARTMENT OF MYSTERIES, and i hear they’re pretty DIRECT yet also CYNICAL at times; i hope they continue to heal. (michelle, 23, est, she/her)
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Newcastle United 3 Birmingham City 1: Matt Ritchie keeps FA Cup hopes on course after setting up fourth-round tie with Oxford
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In recent years the month of January has usually coincides with Newcastle finding their road to Wembley blocked, largely down to their own self disinterest, but after a decade of knockout neglect under Mike Ashley, they finally appear to be showing signs of paying the cup competitions the respect they deserve.
Since the Sports Direct billionaire took over at St James' Park in 2007, Newcastle have not progressed beyond the fourth round, and it was more than 12 months before that when they last featured in a tie beyond the first month of the year.
However, after sealing a trip to Oxford in the last 32, that woeful record could be about to change as they eased past their Championship rivals Birmingham courtesy of the first of Matt Ritchie's brace, added to by Yoan Gouffran's sixth goal of the season before the break - Jonjo Shelvey pulling the strings on his return from an enforced month off.
Gianfranco Zola was part of the Chelsea side to beat Newcastle an the FA Cup semi-final 17 years ago en route to lifting the trophy for the second time in his distinguished career. However, the Italian continues struggle since controversially replacing Gary Rowett last month, and despite David Cotterill halving the deficit from close range after a Lukas Jutkiewicz knock-down with 20 minutes left, this was a seventh game without a win at the outset of his reign as the Blues were beaten on Tyneside for the second time in little over five weeks.
Newcastle shaded it by two as the sides combined to make 14 changes for third third-round replay. Rafa Benitez gave handed debuts to Yasin Ben El-Mhanni, a London-born  former non-league winger who has acted as a body double for Cristiano Ronaldo and Neymar, Scotland Under-21 centre-back Stuart Findlay, and Daniel Barlaser, the Tynesider on his 20th birthday operating behind lone forward Yoan Gouffran.
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Yoan Gouffran celebrates scoring Newcastle's second goal of the evening Credit: PA
Gouffran played a significant role as Newcastle took a ninth minute lead, goalkeeper Adam Legzdins escaping with a caution for bringing the Frenchman down in the area as he raced onto a perfectly-weighted through ball from Jonjo Shelvey, who skippered the side on his return from a five-game suspension. Matt Ritchie stepped up to confidently put the spot kick down the middle to give Benitez's side an ideal start with his seventh goal of the campaign.
Viv Solomon-Otabor and David Cotterill both went close with speculative efforts as Birmingham attempted to recover, but Newcastle were soon back on the front-foot as Shelvey forced Legzdins into a hurried save down to his right after unleashing a sweetly-struck 30-yard effort which was destined for the bottom corner.
Cotterill sent a long-range free-kick into the side-netting with keeper Matz Sels struggling to cover as the visitors came more into the contest, but it acted only to sting the Geordies into action, Gouffran's deft flick from Achraf Lazaar's inviting centre bouncing back off the post with Legzdins beaten. 
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Rafael Benítez, the Newcastle manager, shouts instructions to his players during their FA Cup third-round replay with Birmingham City at St James' Park Credit: getty images
City failed to heed the warning and on his 100th start for the club, Gouffran gave Newcastle some breathing space with second goal in the 34th minute, flicking the ball over his shoulder from Shelvey's free-kick into the box, before finding the bottom corner with an emphatic first-time finish. Ritchie almost made it three before the break, when his angled drive struck the upright.
In front of a crowd of almost 35,000, Birmingham enjoyed more of the ball after the break as Newcastle sat back, though they remained a threat on the counter-attack, and only fine saves from Legzdins prevented Ritchie and Lazaar from further embellishing the margin of victory until Cotterill's soundly-struck effort led to a nervy finale, with influential substitute Jutkiewicz, heading narrowly over from Cotterill's free-kick in Birmingham's ultimately unsuccessful attempts to take the tie into an added 30 minutes, Ritchie making sure of the result in stoppage time as he bundled home Shelvey's cross from close range.
Match details
Newcastle United (4-2-3-1): Sels; Yedlin (Hayden 75), Hanley, Findlay, Lazaar; Tiote (Colback 83), Shelvey; Ritchie, Barlaser, El-Mhanni (Perez 70); Gouffran. Substitutes: Elliot, Dummett, Lascelles, Murphy. Booked: Tiote. Birmingham City (4-2-3-1): Legzdins; Dacres-Cogley, Shotton, Robinson, Grounds; Kieftenbeld (Fabbrini 80), Tesche;  Cotterill, Davis (Brown 64), Adams; Solomon-Otabor (Jutkiewicz 64). Substitutes: Gleeson, Spector, Morrison, Kuszczak. Booked: Legzdins, Shotton, Brown. Referee: Lee Probert (Wiltshire).
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