#Ender's life

[enderblogs-24]

"Everyone's autistic now," "Why's there so much autism," "So many kids faking autism these days."

You know. I had been suspecting I was autistic since I started to understand what that meant, around middle school. I was working with two different autistic kids in a Girl Scout troop I led with my mom, and they did/said things that felt familiar. But I didn't dare bring up those thoughts, because my little cousin was autistic, that was his thing, and I didn't want to seem like I was looking for attention.

I started looking into autism for real when I hit my 20's, because those suspicions never went away... just buried. I had been focusing on other areas of my life anyway - my transition. But that was over, and I could see that things were still "off" about me. I love diving deep into different disabilities, disorders, and mental illnesses, but avoided autism because I was scared of what I'd find. I took maybe one test, masked up and guarded as hell, and because of that it said I wasn't autistic. I didn't answer truthfully, so I went looking elsewhere. ADHD, maybe. I ended up trying to get an ADHD diagnosis, and got misdiagnosed with a personality disorder that can be misdiagnosed in autistic adults. I felt I didn't have an option but to accept the diagnosis, because I was on my way to Chicago; out of time and out of money.

Nearly six months after the misdiagnosis, while I had been looking into the personality disorder and knew for certain I didn't meet the criteria for a diagnosis, (but masked through the appointments, which is how I got it) I had worked extensively on unmasking. I learned many neurodivergencies masked, and thought I'd give unmasking a shot, soon realizing I'd been doing it forever. Once I got better at unmasking, I eventually looked into autism again. What would it hurt to be told no twice? I took a couple quizzes again. Slowed down, answered honestly, and gave every answer my full attention. And I scored high on every one. It was terrifying. But it was also... a relief? While a few of those quizzes weren't too be taken seriously, I did take tests on official sites made by and for autistic people. When I came home from Chicago in summer 2022, I told my mom and showed her all my past scores on official tests like the RAADS, one of which I take annually. Part of me still has doubts that I'm not faking it, I guess.

All of this, at least past 2021, has occurred while people have been posting their own stores about discovering and getting diagnosed as adults. While I initially started looking into things on my own, hearing these people's stories on occasion really, really helped. Random strangers on the internet in a reel telling me they'd been overlooked because they were afab, did well in school, and didn't have many other adults around to see a difference... really helped. I could sneak into the autistic tags on Tumblr and look around at posts, relate to them silently, write down my findings in my little notebook, and go about my day. This "autism boom" as it were really helped, just because everyone suddenly showing off who they are, telling the world "I'm different and that's okay," really, really... helped. I know why I've always felt different and wrong, I know why I struggle with certain things, and I know why certain things will likely never be possible on my own. That's so much better than going thrift my life wondering and beating myself up because I can't function like everyone else.

Everyone isn't suddenly being diagnosed as autistic, now. People are just... starting to listen. Starting to get more comfortable. Obtaining more resources. And it's really nice. ❤️

[izzykaos]

And here it is frosted and decorated!

Ahh! This was do much fun

[noknowshame]

why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

[kadextra]

“Cucurucho give me my enderchest!! You stupid- fluffy monster!! I’m gonna flipping kill you, you took away my memories! You took away the one thing that I had to remember all the eggs who are gone! This is it Cucurucho, this is your final sayonara, you’re going. rip rip potato chip. I will literally sign onto the code thing’s army, it took my son’s (life) from me but you took away my memories- You know what? No! Forget that! I HATE YOU BOTH!

I’m making it my mission. Cucurucho, the code entity, you’re both dead. I’ll take both of you out, I’ll kill both of you. This is how I solve my problems! I solve my problems with death- cause I’m the flipping grim reaper-!”

I just had to transcript q!Bad’s huge rant at the end of stream it was so funny and also pretty darn good to contextualize his character more

[ender1821]

behold. me coping with session 9 SL!shinyduo

— — —

The crackle of a lightning strike hits at the exact same moment Pearl hears a resounding crack from her neck. After she had been shot by Scar, the impact of the arrow led her to stumble down the ravine beside Scar’s base, leaving her at the bottom of the pit.

Well, at least it was quick.

She finds herself lying on the stone ground, a view of a clear blue sky above her.

The only thing she could do was let herself breathe. (Do ghosts even need to breathe? Eh, who knows.)

Her eyes close as she builds a steady rhythm with the rise and fall of her chest, willing for the aching and exhaustion riddled all throughout her body to somehow dissipate.

Aside from the sound of her breaths, she can pick up Scar’s voice off in the distance. It doesn’t sound much like a cheer, or a cry, or anything— but then again, Pearl’s not in a fit state to focus on whatever he’s saying.

Instead, she tries to think back on everything that just unfolded, all the deaths, the hunts…the duel. The zombie that had been creeping towards Scar before Pearl warned him.

She sighs, “I swear, if he dies to a zombie, after all that…”

Now, she wasn’t really expecting a reply.

Especially not a reply from a voice that’s so familiar.

“I know, right? It’d be embarrassing for both of us.”

Pearl’s eyes snap open in an instant, as though the answer gave her a surge of energy, overpowering the waves of numbing pain.

“…Gem?”

She looks…just like she used to, when they were red…together.

Pearl blinks, trying to focus on the figure looming over her. It’s only then, that she notices Gem’s body is slightly translucent, allowing rays of sunlight to pass through.

“Hey, Pearl.” Gem extends a greeting they both know far too well. She crouches down, tilting her head. “Are you going to keep lying on the ground, or…?”

“I might.” Pearl chuckles. “It’s pretty comfy down here, actually.”

“I can imagine.” Gem shifts to sitting cross-legged next to Pearl, which prompts her to try and actually sit upright as well.

Pearl grunts when she finally manages to move, scooting over to Gem. Sitting underneath the shades of a bit of overhang of the earth above, they find themselves situated in a corner of the ravine, now further ruined with scorch marks and splatters of blood on the walls.

Despite the destruction, sunlight casts shadows of sunflowers into the chasm. It must be the ones Scar has around his base.

Silence follows. Pearl tries her best to stare only at the walls around, but she ends up glancing at Gem a few too many times. She hopes Gem is too preoccupied to notice. (Pretty slim chance of that happening, considering the fact that there’s nothing of interest nearby but them.)

Eventually, though, something in Pearl pushes her to speak.

“So,” Pearl starts, “what’s got you wanting to give me a visit? I thought you’d be with Scott and Impulse.”

Gem jerks up at the sudden question, then turns away from Pearl. “I— I dunno, I just… We died pretty close to each other, you’re the first one I saw.”

If Pearl’s head had been a bit more clearer, maybe she would’ve questioned why Gem was so insistent on not facing Pearl when she answered. Instead, she accepts the answer with a nonchalant “Ah, I see.”

“Well, I appreciate the company. And…” Pearl adds, pausing as the following words get caught in her throat for a brief second:

“I’m sorry.”

That seemingly got Gem’s attention, causing her to look at Pearl once again.

Just today, Pearl was met with those same pair of eyes on multiple occasions. For some, they sparkled with a sense of joy. For others, they held a flurry of panic behind them.

At this moment, they were glazed with a whirlwind of emotions Pearl couldn’t even begin to decipher.

Pearl can see Gem obviously struggling to find something to say, or to piece together the thoughts in her head. Either way, Pearl waits.

“When you— when Scar was coming for me, you asked me if I wanted to duel it out with you, with swords.”

Pearl nods.

“Why?”

It’s such a simple question, really. Pearl knows exactly why she did it. Just as she knows why she went into the End earlier in the game to fight the dragon, why she rode a camel with the same person who’s killed her twice, why she couldn’t get a successful ambush when she’d been in the siege against Gem and the Scotts.

What leaves her lips is not the answer. Not a clear one, at least.

(It’s never easy, is it? When Scar and Gem had begun fighting, all Pearl wanted was a moment to think. She didn’t know what to do, she didn’t know why she began shooting, she just didn’t know. She couldn’t decide.)

“You said you didn’t want a bow fight.”

“But a sword fight, Pearl?” Gem pushes on in an instant. “I know you, Pearl, I know you prefer using an axe.”

“I do, yeah.” Pearl doesn’t give away any more than that, choosing to give Gem a noncommittal response.

“So— If Scar hadn’t— If I agreed, you—”

“You probably would’ve kicked my butt.” Pearl admits with a smile.

Gem takes a deep breath. Then, in the quietest voice Pearl has heard all day, Gem asks, “And you would’ve been fine with that?”

(I would’ve been more than fine with it.)

“You would’ve beat me fair and square, I don’t see anything wrong with that.”

“But you—” Gem cuts herself off with a groan, growing more and more frustrated with Pearl’s vague replies. It’s no use when they’re both dancing around the topic, even though all Gem wants is to ask: would you have let me kill you? Could we have stayed friends? What went wrong?

Gem recalls Pearl backing away after one swing of her sword, when she was fighting Scar, she caught a glimpse of Pearl leaving the fight to them. She remembers how Pearl could’ve pulled out her bow, could’ve ended her right there.

(Do I forgive you?)

A breeze blows past the Sunflower Valley, leading the flowers above, along with their shadows, into a gentle dance.

Nearly every question Gem has dies on the tip of her tongue, leaving only one:

“What now?”

Pearl gives it some quick pondering, before stretching her legs out and bracing herself to stand. “I wanna check on Mailbox and Matchbox.”

“Then,” She helps herself up by leaning on a wall. “I wanna see if I can find my Mounders anywhere.”

Lastly, she extends a hand out to Gem. “After that… I think I remember Scott saying something about a spare camel around Etho’s?”

Gem returns the smirk on Pearl’s face with one of her own. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“The Murder Camel rides once more!” Pearl cheers as she pulls Gem up with her.

[the-mcyt-crackships-brackets]

[aulerean]

Dragon Slayer

[galaxygermdraws]

Ender Gem. Ender Gem. Ender Gem.

Nobody can fathom the insanity this headcanon is going to drive me to. I am obsessed.

(reblogs with tags/comments are appreciated. Thankyu)

[astros-arts-inthestars]

✿GEMINITAY APPRECIATION WEEK✿ Day 5: Yellow Life Gem

I want them to go down to yellow with me!

YES THIS IS SO LATE: 1) It's my most overzealous one thus far, and 2) DESPITE the previous point, I still chose to play Minecraft the whole day instead. so. ahEM ANYWAYS! GEMPRECIATION TIME!

Something about Yellow Life Gem? Lore. LORE. LORE. Girl you KNOW what you're doing. Forced to be the first person the open the end portal in the Life Series, losing a life to that task, adding bits to her yellow skin that look suspiciously like the end portal, leaning a little too hard to being a yellow- Augh she is a genius and just so FUN! SHE GETS IT!! And leading them to the End to fight the dragon? Incredible. And should I even MENTION the Boogiepocalypse? SHE DID SO WELL!!! TWO PEOPLE LEFT!!! WHAT ELSE CAN I SAY!!!

✿Drop a reblog!! It spreads that love for Gem!!✿

also, flat colors under the cut! cuz i spent WAY too long on her design:

[enderblogs-24]

Well... this is gonna take some getting used to!

I was born with hip dysplasia in my right hip, which I've obviously been dealing with for 24 and a half years now. (Well, "half" in two days.) When my hip starts hurting, it affects my other hip, and recently that's been affecting my lower back, feet, sometimes legs and knees... that makes working pretty tough lol. When your whole body is affected by something that used to only affect your hips, it makes pretty much everything hard.

I started looking into different mobility aids, how they would help, how they might not help, etc. Through everything, I found a cane and forearm crutches would be the best for me. Because one hip's problems quickly affect the other, I knew a cane wasn't the right way to go. It would only support one side at a time. So I decided to buy a pair of Walk Easy forearm crutches.

They're pretty cool!! Of course, they came in on a good hip day lol. But I tried walking around with them, learning how they worked and the right way to use them, and they feel good. I'm excited about this, although a bit wary... Obviously limping around shows the world my disability, but with these, I'm visibly disabled. That's not bad, it's just not something I'm used to yet. I can't help but feel like these aren't for me, or that I'm not disabled enough for them. (I'll be using them on bad days, not all the time.) But that's something I'm working on. We've all got some form of internalized abelism to work through... mine's just been dug into haha.

Here's to finally helping my body 💖

[izzykaos]

LOOK AT THIS CAKE I MADE EVERYBODY!!!

IT'S A CARROT CAKE AND I MADE IT MYSELF

[morii-moth]

i blame @galaxygermdraws for putting him in my head

id never actually seen anything abt enderskizz b4 germs posts and im so so glad i have now

[haleyusesherwords]

BDubs, whose literal task is to fight the dragon: Don’t mind me, I’m busy making The Orb of wool on my upside down house from hell

Gem, who gave approximately 4.3% effort to complete her assigned task and then gave up: Hey Impulse, here’s a pumpkin, go fight the dragon. No of course I’m not joining you.

[simplegenius042]

Late OCs as Horror Themes/Tropes, Ships as Tarot Cards, and 15 Lines or Less Tag

Tagged by @nightbloodbix @aceghosts @inafieldofdaisies @voidika @direwombat and @g0dspeeed

Tagging @socially-awkward-skeleton @softtidesworld @strafethesesinners @strangefable @adelaidedrubman @wrathfulrook @corvosattano @cassietrn @derelictheretic @shellibisshe @florbelles @cloudofbutterflies92 @starsandskies @onehornedbeast @josephslittledeputy @josephseedismyfather @afarcryfrommymain @megraen @turbo-virgins @minilev @carlosoliveiraa @shallow-gravy @titiagls @thewanderer-000 @snake-in-the-garden @purplehairsecretlair @chazz-anova @ladyoriza @la-grosse-patate @skoll-sun-eater @yokobai @bitchofedensgate @deputyash @ec-10 @foofygoldfish @gaeadene @henbased @vampireninjabunnies-blog and @trashcatsnark

You can find the OCs as Horror Themes/Tropes quiz here and the Ships as Tarot Cards quiz here. One OC for the first quiz, Two Ships for the second quiz, and three OCs for five lines each for the 15. The results and lines are below the cut:

DISCORD, THE MAD KIN OF CARNAGE (A Radioactive Calamity Of Love, Bombs & Gore and the Unnamed Original Works Trilogy)

Discord was a second-generation reality bender (or more commonly known as "Kin"), and one of the most devastatingly powerful as well. His very presence was capable of reverting anything and everything around him back to its basic essential form/s (until it became rusted, rotten, and/or dust and eventually nothing at all). Had technically been killed during the Extermination Purge War, however, Arcane Urias' Chapter of the Occult, a group of warlocks, liches and dark magic users that aimed to preserve ancient magic (regardless if it was forbidden or destructive) and bring back the Old Kin (which mostly consist of the extinct first, second and third generations, as well as some fourth) to rule over the Multiverse once again, had found a way to bring back Discord, in a universe where Earth had been ravaged by nuclear war. NOTE: This result kind of describes how Discord's second death more-or-less is like.

THE BAPTIST AND THE QUOKKA [JOHN SEED X NADI SINCLAIR] (Far Cry The Silver Chronicles)

While Nadi and John have this "loyally serving the other while yearning for each others love but beating around the bush due to bad timings and stuff and still caring and possessive of the other to an obsessively unhealthy degree"... I will have to say that Nadi's affection isn't John's only priority; Joseph and his family plus the project is John's focus and is probably what he would choose over Nadi. Nadi though views John as the person who gave her something to believe in again, to put her skill and faith in (especially after losing faith in the military and governments after the events of Call To Arms), so to her, Eden's Gate' faith is personified by John. But if either lose each one another, it will greatly impact the other's life.

HAOYU ANABUKI X ICARUS GALATOS (Life, Despair & Monsters)

Ah yes, another main LGBTQ+ couple I made to add to my collection alongside Sonya and Jennifer. Haoyu (Non-Binary, 25) and Icarus (Male, 23) fit each other well. At first both thought the other was a jerk. However, both got to know each other, related about their experiences with distant, long-lost and/or found family (Haoyu with their father, mother and Monika plus the Literature Club, and Icarus with his parents, siblings, alters and the Dupain-Cheng Family), coming to terms with their personal lives (Haoyu with their ability to open portals and travel through reality breaches, and Icarus plus his alters with the ability to switch dimensions with this magic fungus dude named Hatter whom one of the alters had eaten inadvertently on a dare), as well as near-death experiences (Haoyu with the Ruins of the Midnight Rise, and Icarus with Evermond Scowlzka trying to dissect him and his alters to get Hatter) plus their encounters with Sir Enigma Malvolio (Haoyu is Malvolio's foil and therefore targeted as a rival, and Icarus, while never meeting Malvolio until much later, had seen the aftereffects of Malvolio putting the essence of the Court King into a close friend of his, Marinette Dupain-Cheng). They also manage to work through each other's flaws; Icarus was reserved and arrogant but self-sacrificing (hence the requirement for his alters, Hatsukami Hinode and Xavier Tulip), and Haoyu was bold and selfish yet unambitious. Icarus teaches Haoyu how to be driven, pointing them towards a goal beneficial to not only them, but everyone, while Haoyu taught Icarus how to listen and take care of himself more, as well as be open-minded. Wherever they end up after the fight with the Ruins of the Midnight Rise, know that they're both at least together.

15 LINES, 5 EACH FOR 3 OCS IN THE UNTITLEDVERSE

Calvin Darling (The Perfect Storm saga)

"Ah, back in this shit again?" He grumbles, getting up.

"Haven't you learned by now? "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before the fall"," Calvin quoted, "Try to checkmate that, you pompous dick."

"I need a drink," Calvin pauses, reminding himself of another task, "But first I shall pray."

"Mario! I'm a cartoonist, not a mechanic."

"...I'm simultaneously impressed by how smart you can be but also disappointed in how stupid you are."

Rick Thompson (The Omniscience Rule saga and The Ender saga)

6. "I don't remember hunting down clowns to be part of the initiative...?" 7. "My dream came true Ma... I am IN a Musical." 8. "Ms Darling, if I may compliment outside of regulations, you're stunning beauty is increased tenfold by the stellar addition of grime and demons blood." 9. "I may be an agent, but I'm no where near professional." 10. "Ian Graveheart is the kind of man Pa described as the worst combination you can give a loaded weapon without safety on... legs and batshit insanity."

Urijah Calaghan (The UnTitled Stories (from The Omniscience Rule saga) and The UnTitled Ventures saga)

11. "You don't matter. Nothing matters. Nothing except this mission." 12. "How cruel are our lives where we must live out a path hostile to our treading feet as the unknown entities above and beyond mock and degrade us? And what fate awaits us then? Release? Freedom? Death? A second round for your soul to enter the world again and go right back into the cosmic mechanism that grinds us down again and again and again like a broken carousel? Or a decrepit record stuck spinning on the same tune? But that's only if you're lucky enough to die." 13. "My mission is to release us, painlessly and mercifully, from the one who holds onto us; the Hand at Fate's Table, one abhorrently callous and cruel enough to take pleasure in the suffering he puts us through." 14. "You must find this tiring. For a man to commit himself against an endless stream of challenges for what is ultimately a short speck of time in our universes must come at a great unnecessary cost to your body. Do you not wish to rest, Joaquin? Wouldn't it be best to live the final minutes of your life resting? Taking a moment to hold your family one last time before our Peace?" Urijah softly questioned. 15. "That doesn't matter," Urijah softly breathes out with a smile, hot air colliding against the cold breeze as the countdown reaches its conclusion.

[ender1821]

(back on my shiny duo brainrotting time, featuring Secret Life 9AM Pearl!)

— — —

It was a beautiful day out. Autumn had arrived in its wonderful grace, bringing nice but not too breezy afternoons and picturesque views of the forests that stretched beyond the world’s borders. The scenery was simply too breathtaking to not—

“What are you doing?”

Pearl perks up from the sketch pad she had on her lap, discovering that Gem had approached her.

“Just a lil’ doodling.” Pearl answers, using the pencil in her hand to point to her work-in-progress.

Gem quirks an eyebrow up at the reply, trying to have a glance at the picture before questioning her friend more. “Really? Right here?”

Pearl looks around. Well, she couldn’t really see what’s wrong with having a break in front of her mound, unless Gem was referring to the whole…game situation. In that case, she supposes it’s a fair query.

“Inspiration waits for no man, GeminiTay!” Pearl puffs out her chest, as though her declaration was meant for more than just Gem, but for the whole world.

Unfazed by Pearl’s theatrics, Gem sighs, “I knew I should’ve stopped Jimmy from calling you Shakespeare.”

With that, any attempt Pearl made at refocusing on her drawing were thrown out the window, and she took Gem’s words as a challenge.

“Why, doth thee not hold the same enthusiasm for the arts as I?” Pearl set aside her pencil, then mimicked holding a skull in her palm, preparing to monologue to thin air if Gem doesn’t stop her.

“Weirdo.” Gem giggles at the grand gestures Pearl made.

“Oh, you love it.” Pearl waves off the remark without a thought. It never gets old, and Pearl’s sure that Gem must’ve called her that a hundred times by now.

Just as Pearl expected, Gem lets out another fond sigh before taking a seat next to Pearl. Out of the corner of her eye, Pearl catches Gem trying to hide a smile.

Pearl returns to working on her sketch soon after, pausing for a second when she feels a weight press onto her shoulder. Gem was leaning on her to get a better view of the sketch pad, and as she shuffled closer, the unmistakable scent of pumpkins and flowers wafted into the air. Pearl makes a mental note to add more orange shades to the final picture.

The sketch at the moment is of the fields of sunflowers scattered around the grass fields of where the Mounders chose to set up camp at. Nothing too out of the ordinary, which is exactly what Pearl needs after days of chaos, all in the hopes of completing secret tasks.

“It looks pretty.” Gem breathes out after a brief lapse of silence between the two.

“Aw, thank you!” Pearl cranes her neck slightly to look at Gem. It doesn’t take long before she snorts and captures Gem’s attention, wondering what Pearl found worthy of laughing at.

Pearl points to the sunflowers. “They match your eyes.”

Gem pushes herself off of Pearl with an offended scrunch of her eyebrows. Her hand hovers dangerously close to the diamond sword she kept sheathed beside her waist. “Remind me again, can yellows kill greens? Because I’m really tempted to right now.”

There’s an amused flicker in Pearl’s face, and she clutches her chest with a horribly faked expression of terror. “Ooh no, am I being threatened by the great GeminiSlay?”

“Dork.” Gem huffs and rolls her eyes, moving to rest her arms on the ground below instead.

Pearl replies with a toothy grin.

[empiressmp-moved]

secret life fans rb and put in the tags who you primarily watch, who you're rooting for, and who you think will actually win. and if you think jimmy will die first again