#Eris’ situation forced me to put a lid on me feeling this way so I can be more selfless to the struggles of others

[kavehater]

Truthfully it would be easier if I just isolate myself from everyone simply because after so long of just shoving things down and being told to shove things down and being told to get over it and stop being sensitive I’ve become so much more sensitive after being so unfeeling and it’s ruining everything

Not even having aventurine could fix this 😔🙏 LOLLL

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

A drop of your love

request: can I please request a lucien x reader fic? where they're "just friends" and lucien has a rough day. to help him feel better she prepares a bath for him and washes his hair and back (scars from under the mountain still shining there), all while giving him soft kisses on his cheeks, neck and ears, whispering how much he's beautiful and how much she loves him.

a/n it's my first ever Lucien story so go easy on me but also enjoy. 🤍✨

warnings: scars, mention of murder, blood, torture, trauma.

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The kitchen felt stuffy and warm, despite the rain pouring outside. Eight other females were twirling around the place. Pot lids were clacking, and the sound and steam of boiling stews and sauces steeped into the smallest of places. It was nearing dinner time, so the commotion was a usual thing. Yet in the midst of it all, you managed to find peace in kneading the dough and shaping it into little loaves before carving delicate leaf shapes into each.

"They're back", the voice rang through the door as Maria, the youngest, ran in, making the older woman pick up their work and ordering whoever was assigned to help them to work more swiftly. You were just finishing up putting the loaves in the oven when you felt the presence of someone beside you. "It looked bad. Worse than the past two times", Maria's voice was low and cautious. Gossiping about anything was forbidden. Even more so when it came to the high lord and his family. There wasn't a thing that Beron did wrong in his own eyes, so everyone was to believe that as well. Many had lost their tongues for a word or two said at the wrong place at the wrong time.

"Was he on his own?", you asked while wiping your hands onto the apron, keeping your head turned in the complete opposite direction from the girl. So your mouth moving could be mistaken for you just muttering recipes under your breath. "Lord Eris was beside him", you frowned. That was not what you expected, especially if the situation was bad. Eris was Beron's pride and joy, at least in front of the court's eyes. Mother only knew how many times you had washed the blood out of his clothes and brought him remedies for the bruises. But he was initialed to take the throne one day, and so that gave his father more than one opportunity to make him fight for that spot like a wild animal, urging the rest of the brothers to attack and try to take Eris out.

"Y/N, you're asked for", your head instantly turned to the guard calling out your name. Wasting no time, you shrugged your dirty apron off, reaching for an already prepared jug of wine before rushing up the stairs. By the laws that Beron ruled by, you belong to Eris. A price. A gift, if you will. From his father himself, after they burned the village that wanted to rebel against the high lord. Dragged by the hair to the main mansion. Forced to kiss the high lord's feet as a thank you for taking you in. Not all females made it here. Most were butchered and left to rot. Only the prettiest and most fertile were brought in.

"My lord", you said, knocking on Eris's chamber doors carefully, waiting for his approval before walking inside. The place was dimly lit. You didn't dare lift your hand. Eris didn't like to be gawked at. Time spent away from his father was sacred to him. He got so little of it. Never enough. "As pleased as I am to see your face, petal, I'd prefer if you sought Lucien out", his words made you still in your place. Usually, Eris was way more subtle about how he approached this subject.

Back then, Beron let his sons pick the girls they wanted. And it wasn't Eris who picked you. No, it was Lucien. But Beron despised Lucien with everything that he had. So the moment the youngest made a choice, the high lord burst out laughing. Mocking the fact that he even thought that he had the right to pick anything at all. And because he wanted to cause Lucien more harm and show him even more that he wasn't ever going to get what he wanted, he gave you away to Eris instead.

"Is it… bad?", You cleared your throat, settling the jug onto the side table. You two had formed a weird sort of friendship through the years. Eris was a good male, even if he was forced to portray this cruel creature. Regardless of his father's urging, he never bedded you, never force you into anything you didn't want to, and besides his little anger outbursts, he never shouted at you either. "You women gossip around, so what would you say?", the lord said bitterly, making your cheeks turn crimson. "My apologies, my lord", you said quickly, hoping to not get Maria in trouble for any of it.

Eris rubbed a hand over his face and said, "Go to him, will you?", you nodded your head quickly, bowing one more time before turning to leave. This wasn't an unusual practice. Eris saw the way Lucien's face dropped when his father dragged you and shoved you into Eris's arms, "Yours to keep or kill, son". He celebrated you as his win in front of everyone's eyes, but the moment the door to his chamber closed, you saw a completely different person in front of you. Someone who cared, someone who loved deeply but couldn't show it. It was Eris who arranged your and Lucien's first proper meeting. He sent you to his cabin to fetch an old book with court documents; however, what you found there instead was Lucien. Fumbling with a lira in his hands. So lost in the sound of music that he didn't even hear you. He never played in the main villa, but in the safety of his brother's cabin, he must have felt safe.

Pressing both of your palms onto the cold wall, you pushed slightly. You couldn't enter Lucien's chamber from the hallway. Folks around the villa gossiped too much, and now that Beron was getting out of hand, everyone was looking for the smallest misbehavior so they could run off to the high lord and prove their loyalty that way. "Shouldn't you be with my brother?", Lucien's voice greeted you before you had even fully stepped into the room. "Tia is of more use to him now", you said rather bluntly, before forcing the passage back closed and wiping the dust onto your skirt. You turned to the red-haired male, who looked as pale as the paper. So Maria was right; it was indeed bad.

"Lucien", you muttered softly. You two had grown closer. Call it an instant connection back at the village after the slaughter. Or maybe it was the fact that you had found comfort in one another's presence through the years. You weren't a servant to him. There were no titles when you were together. It was just Y/N and Lucien. Eris's cabin was where you met most of the time. Some evenings, instead of tending to Eris privately, you were let off to spend the night with his brother instead. Yet even in the beauty of the moment, you never let yourself forget how whatever had been blooming in your chest would never become a reality.

"It's okay. Just… need to", the youngest of the Vanserras shook his head, pulling at the strings of his cloak, which he forgot to take off once he stepped into the room. His clothes were dirty. Dried blood still coated his skin, even if he tried to wash it off. "Should I run you a bath?", you asked, keeping your voice warm and gentle as you stepped closer. Lucien said nothing, moving to reach for your wrist so he could pull you closer to him. He wrapped a hand around your back, guiding you down onto his lap. You carefully cupped his face, tilting your head to the side, hoping to catch his eyes.

"It was the usual", Lucien touched your wrists, pulling them away from him, as if trying to keep you away from the filth that he was coated in. That still lingered. "Just this time he made us slotted children", your heart fell. Lucien was indeed the softest of them all, and not in a weak way; he had a good heart. Something that was looked down on in this court. He had a heart that cared. A heart that considered others' feelings. Beron had tried to choke out that part of his youngest for a while, but it didn't work. And the more Lucien cared, the more Beron wanted to make his life a burning hell.

"I sent Pipper to bury them. If father won't catch them…", but this time you captured his face, pressing your forehead to his. "You are not to blame; you are not like him", you whispered. Cautious of your surroundings but wanting nothing more than to pluck all the bad thoughts away. Lucien turned his face slightly to the side, brushing his lips over the inside of your palm. "You will never be like him", you knew words could be hard in moments like this. And how could they not? With a sigh, Lucien stuttered, "But what if…", You shook your head instantly, "There are no what-ifs, Lu". The years you two spent getting to know each other had proven to you over and over again that he was nothing like his father or brothers. Lucien's love ran deep. He was strong-willed and fearless when needed, but just as much, he brought a shield of calmness and that autumn coziness with him.

"What?", You had been lying in the field of flowers with Lucien the whole evening. Tia had offered to cover for you back in the villa. You two had been looking up at clouds, pointing out shapes, and making up stories. It felt calming and easy. So easy, it almost scared you. And then a giggle slipped past Lucien's lips as he shook his head. "Nothing", he muttered, his eyes not leaving you. You nervously brushed your fingers through your hair, fearing that something might be tangled in it,"That's not fair now".

However, Lucien giggled softly anyway. You playfully shoved at his chest, "Tell me", you pleaded, "Why are you smiling like that?". Lucien reached out, threading his fingers through your hair carefully. "You", he muttered, your heart skipped a beat right as he spoke up again, "Still don't know why Mother would send you to me". His voice sounded more like a whisper. As if he was scared for someone to hear it. For someone to make the happiness disappear. You cupped his face, leaning closer to him. "Good hearts call out to other good hearts, Lu".

You smiled at the memory as you brought the autumn male closer to your chest. Waiting for the shakes to ease. Knowing that pushing him around now wasn't going to get you anywhere So you stayed put. Letting him soak up the warmth and smell of your body. For Lucien, you were a haven. Autumn wasn't his home; you were. You've been there since the moment he saw you. No one had truly shown him kindness until you came along. No one had taken the time to get to know him. To let him be himself. Lucien had been heading down a dangerous route back then. Beron had been close to bending his will. But then you came around. And something shifted.

"How about I make you a nice bath? You know, with lavender…", You brushed a kiss over the top of Lucien's head, rubbing your hands up and down his back. Yet his grip on you only tightened, "I will stay close by and will brush your hair. We can even braid it", it felt almost silly how you were trying to bribe him into it, but you knew that affection was what he truly needed. "Four plats?", he asked, making you let out a soft chuckle. "Whatever you want, fireboy".

The bath chamber was filled with steam. At this point, you were convinced that Lucien was close to boiling himself in that bathtub. You let him get undressed before you walked back in. Thankful for the stuffy room, it hid your rosy cheeks, which had turned crimson at the sight of Lucien's naked chest. You've seen him shirtless before. Mother… You two had made out in the stables once. You had let go of all your boundaries. That one time you let yourself dive headfirst into whatever was blooming deep within you.

"Hot baths are fun, but how about we don't cook you alive?", your much colder hands pressed down onto Lucien's shoulders. You let your fingers wander across his skin, kneading the tense muscles. Lucien let out a growl of satisfaction. Hands gripping the side of the tub once your fingers found a particularly painful knot. "How you do this is beyond me,", he muttered, and you couldn't help the smile that tugged on your lips. "Braking bread is no joke", you laughed under your breath. "I never doubted your skilled hands", Lucien practically purred, causing your cheeks to heat some more.

You reached for a cloth, dipping it into the water before moving it over Lucien's back. A light frown suddenly tinted your eyes as you once again turned to the scars that painted Lucien's skin. It never failed to make you feel this burning pain in your chest. No matter how many times you saw them. Lucien was weary of showing them to you at first. You only got to see them when he stubbornly hid them from you after the latest beating from his father, getting them infected and causing a fever to break out. You nursed him for a couple of weeks while he remained practically unconscious as he lay on his stomach. You had never been so scared in your life.

You ran the damp cloth over his back a couple of times until your hand stilled. Your brain was telling you to stop, but your heart fought back harder. So you leaned in, dipping your head lower as your lips brushed over Lucien's shoulder once, then over his shoulder blade. You let your fingers dance over the grooves of the scars before accompanying the touch with your lips. You knew that he hated this cruel reminder, but to you, this was a part of him that you wished he could learn to love. This wasn't a sign of weakness. This was a sign that he survived.

"I love you", those words slipped past your lips dangerously quickly. A gasp followed right away when the realization hit. "What?", Lucien turned your way. You two had grown closer. Way closer for it to just be called friends, but you never let yourself think of it. "You… What did you say?", Lucien had shifted inside the tub so he could face you. You shook your head, moving to pull away, but Lucien grasped your wrist gently. "Y/N", you knew, that wasn't a demand. If you wanted, you could leave. He wouldn't hold you back, but you couldn't. Not when his desperation filled the room. You could sense his emotions. All of a sudden, they were all around you, and you couldn't feel anything else. A golden thread glistened all of a sudden. Catching both of your attention. A breath hitched in your throat. "I love you", you muttered once again carefully, and the gold seemed to beam.

Lucien practically jumped out; of the bath, causing you to quickly turn your head to the side and for him to lower his hands. A nervous chuckle left your lips. You felt his arms around your shoulders; next, he was still dripping but he didn't care. Pulling away from you slightly, Lucien pushed a finger under your chin, lifting your head to meet his gaze. "You love me?", he whispered. You bit down on your lip. A part of you screamed that this was wrong, wrong but the mating bond danced around you. Happy and satisfied now that you have finally acknowledged it. You didn't trust your words, simply nodded your head. Lucien did the same, mimicking the movement. "My gorgeous girl", his fingers cupped your face as he leaned his forehead onto yours, "I always knew it would be you".

Your bottom lip quivered, your hands restted on his hips as you moved to stand even closer to him. Lucien ran his fingers over your lips gently. "Say it again", he urged you. "I need to hear you say it again", a tear ran down your cheek as you stepped onto your tippy toes. Cupping Lucien's face as you leaned closer, you whispered, "I love you, Lucien, with all that I am" right by his lips. Lucien let out a soft sigh, closing his eyes for a moment before crashing his lips against yours. For a kiss that said it all. The kiss was more than just the aftermath of an emotional moment. It was a promise. A plea for love. A chance for Lucien to finally get a glimpse of what true happiness looked like.

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All acotar writing taglist: @brekkershadowsinger @cityofidek @baebeepeach @lucyysthings @hideing @urfavbrunettebish @historygeekqueen @marina468 @courtofjurdan

[superiorllathanvie]

Die a Hero or Live Long Enough to Become a Villain

— [WHUMPTOBER, DAY 14] {CANON}

• characters :: toni, eris, shade, raf && llyre, lleian

• genre :: whump, angst, narrative, alternate pov

• warnings :: depictions of violence, implied civil war, a few somewhat graphic descriptions of injuries, depressing dialogue, major character death

prompt(s) :: desperate measures, “i'll be right behind you.”

a/n :: ...i have nothing to say for myself this time it's honestly just pure angst made to break your hearts but *ahem*

i hope you love love <3 because that shit hurts <33

"You be careful, alright?" Eris spoke softly but her tone held an intense seriousness as she held her lover's face, furrowing her eyebrows in concern as she looked up at her. The way her hands cupped around the other's head made eye contact unavoidable, but Toni had no intentions of looking anywhere else anyway.

Toni took one of Eris' hands in her own, lowering its position until she was able to place a gentle kiss on Eris' palm. She said nothing, however, so the ever-worried significant other pressed, "I mean it, Toni. You better come home to me."

The brunette glanced towards a ring on Eris' finger — shiny, new, likely expensive despite Heoke's terrible financial state — then looked towards a similar ring on her own finger. She sighed, forcing a smile knowing she likely would have to break her promise.

"I will, I will," Toni murmured, chastely kissing Eris on her forehead.

"You better," Eris replied just as quietly, leaning into the former's embrace, "You'll have the couch waiting for you if you don't return." She joked, trying to make light of the heavy situation.

The two parted, but held hands as they stared into each other's eyes with a mix of uncertainty and fear, but pure love above all. They remained that way for a while.

Eris cleared her throat and smiled her wonderful smile, closing her eyes in full trust. "After all this blows over, I'm taking you out, got it? 6 p.m., dinner, maybe a movie marathon after," She giggled, "I'm gonna go ahead and set it up after my mission before you come back."

Eyes glimmering, Toni returned a grin. "I'll be right behind you." She assured, sneaking in a quick kiss and pulling back just as fast. Eris scoffed in disbelief before properly putting her lips on Toni's, happy to cherish one of many small moments that added up to her ideal of forever.

After a few seconds of staying wrapped in each other's arms, the sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted. Shade leaned on the doorway, eyes half-lidded as she crossed her arms.

"'Kay, lovebirds, break it up," The masked woman clapped her hands together, causing Eris to apologize sheepishly for delaying their quest. Shade shook her head and told her it was alright, but then gave Toni a wary look.

Toni's jaw tightened and Shade narrowed her eyes ever so slightly. "Toni." was all she said, but her knowing tone sent a feeling of hesitation up Toni's metal spine.

"Yeah, I got it." Toni mumbled back, not looking at Shade. Instead, she faced Eris, carefully brushed her hand against her cheek, before turning on her heel and walking towards Shade.

"Take care!" Eris called out one last time, "I love you!"

A moment passed before Toni responded, "I love you too."

In the hallway, Toni opted to stay silent while Shade kept throwing her concerned looks. Eventually, after making sure they were out of earshot, the latter spoke up.

"I don't have to remind you not to use it, right?" Shade asked, uncharacteristically hushed, staring directly in front of her. "We don't know if you'll be able to hold up if you go rogue and disregard the plan." She whispered, attempting to sound indifferent but failing to hide her concern.

"I know," Toni huffed, looking down at the ground as they continued walking. "I won't do anything."

Skeptical, Shade gave her a familiar look. No words came out, but her gray eyes demanded, 'You promise?' while she observed the other.

Toni half-heartedly nodded, hoping that was enough to get her friend to stop worrying. It wasn't, but Shade left her alone after that and they continued their walk in silence until they met up with Raf.

"You guys ready?" They checked, stretching and cracking their bones despite not having the appropriate anatomy to do so. "This could finally turn the tides in our favor! We just need to play our cards right, is all. Luckily, we have an expert gambler on our side." They remarked, raising an eyebrow at Shade who only laughed.

Toni reminded, "Remember, your new abilities are just that — new. Don't push yourself past your limit, okay? We need you around to even be eligible to play in the Superi's cruel game, after all."

Raf gave a firm nod, their usual immaturity gone for the moment. They knew how serious a deal this was; they were ambushing a Superi with the intent to capture and interrogate. It was a pretty big deal.

"Let's review the plan, then—" Shade snapped her fingers, turning to Raf who suddenly straightened their posture under the pressure. "Why are we targetting this specific Superi?"

"He's physically strong and that's all he has going for him," Raf quickly answered, "He's also stubborn and prideful and he hates relying on his actual Superi abilities, so as long as we can overpower him without triggering his Supter form, we should be good."

"Very nice," Shade praised, grinning at Raf. They bowed dramatically in response. "And how is his Supter form triggered? Every Superi has it differently, remember that." She hummed.

Raf took a moment to think, before answering, "We should avoid unnecessary taunts, because his emotions are typically more extreme than the others'. The moment he reaches his limit, it's over for us."

"Damn, kid, you actually did your homework," Shade laughed, lightly nudging Raf. She looked up at Toni, "I'm assuming you had a very insistent teacher." She slyly remarked, teasing the android.

Toni rolled her eyes playfully and scoffed, "Better safe than sorry. You'll thank me later."

Pumping their fists in the air, Raf exclaimed, "All right, let's do this! Commit crimes against god!" They cheered to themselves.

Snorting, Shade pushed Raf while cursing between laughs, meanwhile Toni let a solemn look take over her expression.

It went wrong. It went so terribly wrong.

How were they supposed to know the Superi who could read goddamn minds was gonna tag along?! This wasn't part of the plan! Of all times for LLyre not to patrol alone, it had to be that day!

"Linia on your right, Hunter behind you, AI coming from your seven o'clock," LLeian nonchalantly relayed to their companion as they simply stood aside, easily dodging the occasional attack directed at them. "Linia attack changing course in two seconds, it'll head for your left shin." They yawned.

LLyre would only huff in response to LLeian's warnings, but follow their advice smoothly and swiftly. He lifted his left leg up and struck Raf's chin with a front kick before immediately grabbing them by the collar then swiveling, slamming them right into Shade and sending them both tumbling across the ground.

Toni gasped and lost her concentration as she looked to check on her comrades, her aim becoming off and making the blast miss by a hair.

In that short amount of time she was unfocused, LLyre had managed to dart right in front of her, and by the time she realized how close he was, he had already delivered a blow to her abdominal area.

The sound of cracking was heard as Toni was sent flying into a wall, while Shade recovered and got back up. Somewhat disoriented, black matter formed over her arms and neck before she raced towards LLeian in a fit of irritation.

LLyre's reaction speed was a bit too fast when it came to the safety of his fellow Superi, so she didn't make it far before he blocked a scratch that could have resulted in any ordinary person being torn in half. Unfortunately for the Licentia, the Superi were far from ordinary people.

"LLyre, quick, she's about to transfer control to the parasite—" LLeian narrated aloud — a bad habit of theirs, Shade had told her subordinates — even though their thoughts seemed directly connected to the other Superi. At the moment, LLeian's thoughts were seemingly synced to LLyre's, and every piece of info he needed to fight an otherwise fair battle (had LLeian not been present) was passed on at the fastest speed the mind could possibly reach.

So, of course he was faster than the ex-denizens could process.

Just before Shade's head was completely enveloped by the parasite, LLyre struck her hard, interrupting the process and causing her to revert back to her fully human form. Shade fell to the ground and coughed. It sounded like it was accompanied by blood, but her mask hid just how damaged she was internally.

Before LLyre was able to do even more harm, a brick was sent his way— He was easily able to crush it to pieces in mid-air with his fist alone, but the dust that came off of it briefly obscured the sight of Raf forming an orb of sorts, dark in color as it sucked in stray debris. It grew bigger and bigger, as did the Superi's eyes in concern.

LLyre prompted the other silently with a look.

"Just break its focus, the vacuum'll collapse in on itself—" was the reply.

Without a moment's delay, LLyre had managed to kick some dust into Raf's eyes. In a split second, the only thing he could have possibly worried about during the fight was gone. He leaned down and grabbed them by their hair, before a beam of hot light almost hit his hand.

Almost.

Toni crawled out of the wall, using her free hand to hold herself up as her midsection slowly chipped apart. She glowered at the Superi, cursing them for always ruining everything.

LLyre narrowed his eyes at her, while Shade clawed at his boots.

The fight continued for another two minutes, unsurprisingly being very one-sided due to how synchronized the Superi were with each other. Even when all three Licentia charged and attacked, it would only take a flash before LLyre would react accordingly against their strategies.

Now Raf was on the ground, spitting out red despite not bleeding anywhere else, since Linia didn't have 'external' blood. Meanwhile, Shade was being choked by none other than LLyre. Toni's legs were decimated, and one of her eye sockets were exposed due to the shattered covering.

This was it: It was all over. Hope was a faraway concept, and there was nothing anyone could do—

...There was one thing someone could do.

With a grunt, Toni silently cussed out her built-in pain receptors as she forced herself to sit up on what remained of her knees, then shakily lifted up her right arm, pointing it at LLeian.

"Tones! Tones, I swear to fucking Seven—" Shade shouted from a distance away, her pleads sounding more choked out with each word. "Dammit, Toni! If you use that thing, I will kill you myself—" LLyre interrupted, sneering at her.

"Toni... Don't..." Raf whispered, before losing consciousness.

Suppressing the bubbling guilt in her core, Toni continued to take aim. She gritted her teeth as her arm reformed itself, no longer looking like an arm but instead resembling a very dangerous-looking weapon. It was dangerous. She knew that. She was fully aware of what would happen to her if she proceeded with her half-baked plan.

"Shade, I figured it out!" She had excitedly squealed, dragging the other towards a small vial of black liquid that appeared to be.. alive. "This.. thing, inside you, it's made of the same matter as the Superi's Supter forms, but extremely concentrated to the point that one drop of this is equal to LLaura's Supter form power! It can hurt them!"

Shade had scoffed uncertainly, looking at the black substance. She chuckled, forced, as she looked to Toni. "You're saying... I could actually hurt them?" She questioned.

Toni nodded vigorously, "Yes, exactly! And I found a way to incorporate the material — let's call it Supter fluid for now — into our weapons. Look!" She shook her right arm, the mechanisms inside clicking and clacking until it revealed a small area inside her arm with the liquid, blocked off by glass. "If I were to use my blaster in this mode, it'd merge with my default energy and—!"

"No." Shade rejected immediately, shaking her head. "No, no. We aren't.. doing this," She inhaled, pinching the bridge of her nose. "This Supter fluid, or whatever it's called, we are not using it. You hear me?" She ordered sternly.

"What? Why?" Toni argued, incredulous. "I thought this entire time you wanted to take down the Superi! With this, we can finally—"

"Finally what? Finally lose your mind while getting infected and overtaken by this thing?" Shade retorted, stepping closer to Toni. "This thing ruined my fucking life, it's made me do things I didn't want to and it's done nothing but hurt people and make me question if I'm even real. If we take this lightly, it's not going to be pretty."

Toni flared, taking her own step forward. "But what about the Superi, then? What are we going to do? As we are, we can't do jack shit to them!" She gestured around the room, referring to how allegedly omnipresent their opponents were. "To them, we're ants, just a tad bit painful and so easy to kill without a second thought! With this, it'll upgrade us to bullet ants, and you know how damn painful those are. Don't you want to finally get back at those bastards for ruining everyone's lives? Our lives?"

Shade sighed, rubbing her eyelids. "Of course I do. But not at the cost of my friends' lives..." She put her foot down on the matter. "If it's as powerful as you say, by that logic, I should be dead. I'm only human, Toni, I don't know why I'm still.. here.

"Hell, maybe it's only dumb luck. That means we aren't sure if you or anyone else can take this parasite inside of them," She murmured, turning on her heel. "You can keep researching it, I don't care, and any new info is a blessing. But...

"I can't risk anyone's lives, especially knowing how it'd turn out. I'm sorry, Tones, but that's final."

"Toni! Fucking stop! TONI!" Shade screamed desperately as Toni's arm slowly turned a darker color, spreading to the rest of her body as the weapon continued charging up.

It didn't take long until it was ready.

A black laser shot straight through LLeian.

Toni saw them become unsteady, but otherwise remain unscathed. She heard a faint, hoarse voice calling out to her, but she couldn't muster a response.

After that, everything went dark as Toni's body destroyed itself from the inside out.

Shade held Raf up by their arm as she limped into Licentia HQ back in Heoke, their medics immediately taking Raf from her and taking them to special treatment while Shade insisted on a less extensive check-up.

As she sat down in front of a doctor, her gaze was blank and her breathing was shallow. Not from the physical pain, although it did hurt — something else hurt much more.

"Excuse me, excuse me!" A dreaded voice reached her ears seconds before the last person she wanted to see enter her vision. Eris panted, having just wafted through a frantic crowd, "Hi, Shade, I heard things didn't go as planned? I'm so glad you're alright..."

Please don't ask.

Please don't.

Please.

"...Where's Toni?" Eris inquired, innocently glancing around the large infirmary in search for her fiancée. After a moment of not receiving an answer, she turned back to Shade, who only gave her a dull stare. "...Shade?"

It hit much harder than it should have been.

Shade has never cried in front of anyone since she became a leader. She has never shown any emotional weakness or vulnerability.

But she continyed to stare at Eris, choking back a sob before a continuous stream of tears flowed from every corner of her eyes. The moment she realized what was happening, she instinctively brought her hands up to cover her mouth, which only intensified her jerking as she tried so so hard not to cry.

...Eris didn't need an answer anymore.

She knew.

A shrill scream pierced the noise of busy commotion as she fell to her knees, digging her fingers into her hair and gripping the strands tightly. She didn't care if she was causing a scene, she didn't care if anyone was looking at her.

She cried and screeched and bawled over the loss of one single person.

Just one.

One who happened to mean everything to her.