#FUCK i need more i feel so unsatisfied and the 'covid cut a lot of stuff' is eating me alive

[emmamountebanks]

ik siobhan, miles, and zach are kinda eating up the quarry but they also get decent screentime (if u keep jacob alive at least)

but i just want halston, ariel, skyler, and evan to sign on for just a few more scenes, and give us more of them. i bet u so much more was planned for them but covid got it cut. and i want them to know how many people adore their characters and wish there was more of them focused in the late game story. and to come back and give us what we deserve

[sunsetsinfields]

Always feeling alone

Recently i have been taking some L’s because I found this boy that I actually really liked and it turns out I was just there as convenience because he was still in love with his EX who in-fact treated him so awfully, but still planned on getting back with over summer. 

For some reason this really upsets me, I put myself out there for the first time in years, as I am looking for something more mature, but nothing seems to hurt more than when someone decides to get back with their ex. If only there was something I could have done. 

I blame myself for what has happened, even though I know I shouldn’t. Ever since covid-19 has been a thing, he had changed, his replies got slower, we would meet up a lot less frequently, he wouldn’t care about me or my welfare and I watched this all happen. 

The day I plucked up the courage to ask him if what my gut feeling was, was accurate and he told the truth, but sometimes we have to accept that the truth actually hurts more than lies. I am glad he was honest, but it took him so long to tell me and I felt like I had been stringed along as a rebound this whole time, and I feel as-though I am such a mug because I stupidly let my feelings get involved.

I appreciate his honesty with me, but its the fact it was his FUCKING EX. I swear to god, if a boy talks to you about his god damn ex, its bad news. He is not over her. 

The worst part about all of this is that I miss him so much now, I wish he was still my friend but I cut all ties, because at the time I didn’t even see the point in us being friends uno. Life sucks man. Honestly. 

I feel like I cannot tell any of my friends this shit either, because they do not understand and some of them are friends with him, so I expect they would tell him if I decided to bad mouth him. Self Isolation is so bad for your mental health and I feel myself spiralling, but if you are like me, you just need to make sure that you keep yourself busy and up to date with everything. 

Also Remember that social media is not the answer to everything. What I learnt about social media is that it is toxic, and makes people over think, as well as it being passive aggressive, and posts being a way to @ certain people, as well as making us all overthink, and be very unsatisfied with who we are as individuals.