#FeyOSHA Inspection guidelines

[feyosha]

Is there any regulations against having an explosive aura around your home? Like an aura that just explodes anyone who tries to enter without permission?

So far, no wizards have come close to my home. So no remains I have to clean up. Yet.

Well, we’ll have to do an inspection, naturally. We’re not so much about what you do as we are about how you go about it, you know? but here’s some things you can do in the meantime to help make sure everything goes smoothly:

How’s the line work on your sigils? You didn’t just freehand it, did you? You remembered to use the-(wait hold on let me check… my scrolls… here we go. ah yes) You used chalk containing Salt of Titanium, right? If you’re using that cheap Carbonate of Shellfish chalk you used in school you’re gonna melt your fucking doorframe. Don’t want that.

How specific were you in your targeting parameters? How did you define “anyone?” Don’t make me summon the ghost of Diogenes to teach you a lesson about the shortcomings of morphology based targeting parameters! He’s an ass and it’ll ruin your day. First of all any Wizard with a basic polymorph will be able to circumvent it if you made it too simple. Second, if you don’t restrain your semantic envelope, the spell will get… interpretative. That’s always bad. Ætheric background field operates on Monkey Paw logic. Do not invite interpretation.

How did you define your duration? Did you account for spariotemporal distortions from other nearby enchantments? Doesn’t do you any good if you explode people who broke in 2 weeks ago. And if you manage to somehow flip your past/future polarity and start targeting anyone who might break in… no.

We do not punish people retrocausally.

Got it?

(Ahem) anyway

So, I could drop by… hmm.

6th Saturday of the month work for you?

I’ll arrive around 11:75.

Bring a raincoat.