#Feyre is Janet

[pearblossommina]

The Rocky Horror Prythian Show

read on ao3

[lunamond]

Among all the dumb writing, inconsistent plotting, and worldbuilding in Acotar, I have to admit the thing that still makes me the most mad is how much Sjm managed to butcher the story of Tam Lin in her "retelling".

Because, tell me why that woman turned a story about a young woman saving her love from hell by holding on to him no matter what form he takes and trusting that no matter what he won’t harm her into that?

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

i guessed sjm was an only child when she tried to write evil step-sisters caricatures (which can’t even be applied because feyre is not cinderella, who did all the housework and domestic labor, the very thing feyre is dismissive of) with biological sisters but i knew she was an only child when nesta and elain didn’t laugh their asses off at feyre’s “i can fuck and fight better” nonsense at the dinner scene in acomaf. like it’s such a youngest sibling thing to say, nesta and elain should’ve been crying from laughter (although i guess it was a tense atmosphere with those decrepit bats there)

[legendl0re]

The Tamsand tag has me in a fucking chokehold.

Like even the damn canon supports it, there’s too many wonderfully homoerotic lines and undertones.

*sigh*

Am I really considering making the end of my goddamn Tamlin healing fanfic night court civil war extravaganza a fucking throuple with Feyre, Tamlin, and Rhys?

*grumbles in AO3*

I hate this I swear XD

[belle-keys]

I do not understand how people say they saw Tamlin red flags from the start and then turn around and excuse everything Rhysand does, even his actions towards Nesta and Feyre in ACOSF. Like these people clearly AREN'T capable of seeing red flags, they only see red flags for characters they personally dislike.

Yeah, on my old Tumblr (long gone), I had written a meta about how the narrative of these books is designed to uplift and shut down different characters based on how the author herself sees them, not based on their actions.

Even if Rhys and Tamlin do the same things, the narrative tells you that only one, and not both, of them are wrong for what they've done. It selectively villainizes. Because that's who the narrative, who's its own character at this point lmfao, likes. That's poor storytelling.

These books are like... fae propaganda or some shit.

[ecce-felix]

Once again on my ‘Ruhn is rhys’ son with an affair he had before amarantha’ agenda bc the timeline matches up they have the Exact Same Face and the dynamic would go crazy between 500yo man his 80yo son he didn’t know he had and his 23yo (is that her age idk anymore) wife with their newborn son

[archerons-arrow]

i will be happy when sarah finally releases whatever retconned garbage is up next so everyone can stfu about whatever ship war they're reading into (whether you're right or wrong). i used to care about it in like 2018; i don't anymore. because this woman doesn't plan shit. she can't even keep her own lore, world building, or already published plotlines straight.

jfc - it has been a fucking decade of this, and all she has done is shit out a "crossover" that no one asked for and use her own need for therapy to have the eldest archeron sister cosplay as feyre and replace her younger sisters with two complete strangers that she "saves" and call herself a warrior queen who answers to no one. girlie, if you live in a court in prythian, you're a subject and you answer to someone somewhere. sit down and eat your food... or cassian's dick for all i care. i lost it at the house being alive in that book, besties; like what has it witnessed.

like ... idk what happened to the person that wrote the first three books, but holy shit. i am tired. i even stopped following tags on all social media three years ago and the discourse just leeches out everywhere. hence why i am here complaining. y'all woke me up on tuesday with your bullshit. so now my formerly-quiet annoyance is everyone's problem.

[lifesizejosuke]

reading anne bishop literally reaches inside my chest cavity and rrrrrips the feminism out of my body. like yeah i get why sjm plagiarizes her work so much lol

[starrbirrd]

I refuse to read the new book but what I'm hearing is that it's okay when the IC want to impulsively steal from another court which results in a death sentence, it's okay when both Feyre and Rhysand want to impulsively form pacts with ancient death Gods without consulting one another and treat it as a weird flirty gift???, it's okay for Cassian to impulsively murder the entire village where his mother was or whatever that was about, it's okay for them to impulsively tear down an entire apartment building to teach a lesson, Feyre and Rhysand made a life/death pact without consulting anyone- AND SO MUCH MORE because the IC is literally all impulse and no self control, but they're livid and hateful towards Nesta because she "did something impulsively". Okay Janet.

[1800naveen]

Tamlin and his mate dynamics

If he gets a mate, this is how I see their dynamic

Our girl giving him the chomp.

YES, YES.

NAUR, THIS IS TAM LIN AND JANET😭

HE'S ALWAYS BEEN A PROTECTOR, LET HIM BE PROTECTED!

Feyre talking about his firm chest. Big tiddes.

And it's his girl.

IF I COULD WRITE THIS, I WOULD.

[keepittoyourshelf]

I’m having thoughts. As much as I rage against SJM on here, I would love for her to prove me wrong. Redeem* Tamlin. Give him his own version of Chapter 54. She’s done such a thorough job of stripping this character of whatever shreds of dignity he might have had left post-ACOMAF**, that it would be a Herculean literary effort at this point to get the stan portion of the fandom to love the guy again and finally stop selling those stupid “Tamlin’s Tears” mugs on Etsy. Go ahead Janet. Do it. I dare you. I will eat every word I’ve ever written about you being a one-note author that basically writes the same three characters over and over again.

*Him needing redemption is arguable as he not only apologized, he risked his life in the war and helped bring Rhysand’s apologist ass back to life.

**I actually think the way he verbally dismantled Rhys and Feyre during the HL summit was fucking masterful and exceedingly dignified. At least more dignified than referring to your own copious amounts of power and making vague threats of physical violence.

[achaotichuman]

ACOTAR RANT

From my understanding of the first book, the magic of Calanmai possesses whoever is performing, literally taking over their entire body and forcing them to fuck whoever it decides and the High lord is generally expected to be the one performing.

Already, this is SA, but all technicalities. They don't have a choice.

But the thing is

THE MAIDEN DOESNT HAVE A CHOICE EITHER??????

The sex god or whatever basically takes the maiden using the High lords body, they fuck, the magic is renewed, yada yada yada.

To summarize, the performer gets possessed, the maiden gets taken, fucking happened, magic hooray.

For first book, it's dubious consent, not really focusing on consent here, it's a Faerie ritual, they're all dubious, so who really cares.

However, in the next book, its then villainized to fuck and back, because its used as a plot device to put Lucien through SA (for no reason, these doesn't affect the plot at all because Ianthe ends up being killed off anyway, SJM there was no reason for Lucien to be raped)

Thing is, how is it that Lucien was forced to perform with Ianthe???

We know from how Lucien spoke of it, being that "Tamlin agreed with Ianthe" that this was something decided prior to the performance, but HOW THE FUCK DID THEY KNOW THE MAGIC WOULD EVEN CHOOSE IANTHE???

They dont, they have no idea, its at random, it's supposed to be at random. THE ENTIRE FUCKING HOLIDAY WAS RETCONNED SO THAT SJM COULD HAVE IANTHE RAPE LUCIEN FOR NO REASON AT ALL

WHY JANET WHY???? WHAT DOES THIS DO???? IANTHE DIES??? LUCIEN ALREADY HAS ENOUGH TRAUMA FOR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT???

AND THE KICKER IS SJM DOESNT EVER EVEN RIGHT HER SA SURIVIORS HAVING TRAUMA FROM IT???

FEYRE??? EVERYONE CONVIENTLY FORGETS RHYSAND SAED HER

RHYSAND????? OH HE *LET* AMARANTHA RAPE HIM SO THAT HE COULD PROTECT HIS PEOPLE, TRAUMA RESPONSES??? WE DONT KNOW HER

NESTA?????? THEY LOCK HER IN A HOUSE WITH A MAN SHE DESPISES AND THIS APPARENTLY HEALS HER DESPITE HER BEING AN SA VICTIM

AND I AM BETTING MY NIECES, MY BROTHERS, MY SISTERS, MY HOUSE, MY LIFE THAT LUCIEN (ASIDE FROM A NIGHTMARE OR A GENERAL EXPLANTION TO ELAIN) THAT IANTHE WILL PRETTY MUCH NEVER BE BROUGHT UP AGAIN

ITS SHITTY WRITING, SARAH WHY DID YOU ADD THIS??? IANTHE WAS A SHITTY CHARACTER WE GET IT, WHAT WAS THE POINT OF MAKING HER A RAPIST??? WHAT SICK FANTASISES IS THIS FULFILLING??????

[feyres-divorce-lawyer]

when tamlin introduced feyre to his court, he dressed her in a pretty gown and gave her a throne of her own.

when rhysand introduced feyre to his court, she was dressed in napkins, and the entire experience triggered her so bad, she dissociated.

and despite miss janet brainwashing you into thinking the latter is more desirable, i urge you to look past your selective comprehension and realize the CoN scene was not peak feminism and flopsand didn’t end misogyny by making feyre look like his whore in front of people who treat women like second-class citizens while expecting those same people to respect her as their ruler later on.

[yaralulu]

I’d tattoo the spring court chapters from book 1 on my forehead if i could that shit was so good.I’m afraid miss janet will never write anything that good ever again.

Feyre/lucien/tamlin were just that trio,from lucien’s witty comebacks to tamlin’s awkward flirting to feyre’s endless shenanigans,they were so fun and their banter was fucking hilarious.Free me from the IC’s vulgar gesture immature nonsense it’s not funny 🗣️!!

[lovemyromance]

No, no. Trust me, I understand men can be different around different women 🫷🙄

I just don't want to read a ROMANCE where a man is yearning - or even "just-lusting" - after a woman ... and then I literally just turn the page and he's suddenly lusting - sorry, now he's yearning - after some new woman.

And I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure SJM feels the same way- given how obsessive over ONE WOMAN she writes her MMCs.

This isn't a man writing a romance novel, it's SJM. Be so fr rn. She can write her FMC having multiple love interests, but she's not going to write a POV from her MMC where the woman he's thinking about isn't his endgame. It's not a two way street and frankly I love that about her! Men have enough things, leave romantasy be!!

If Elucien was endgame, she'd have made that BC in ACOSF about Elain and Lucien. Not Elain and Azriel. It would be Lucien's X-rated thoughts about Elain that we'd be reading, not Azriel's.

If Gwynriel was endgame, she wouldn't have written the words "He would beg on his knees for a taste" (of Elain).

And I knowwwww you lurkers are gonna bring up "but Tamlin" and I just want to stop you right there. 🫷😐

halt.

Was... was Tamlin the MC in ACOTAR? Or was it Feyre (a woman in a romantasy novel written by a woman for other women)?

Matter of fact did he even get a POV where we heard his explicit thoughts about Feyre??

Not to mention - did Feyre do all this in one book? Or did she get 3 whole books to get with Tamlin, leave Tamlin, get with Rhys till death do us part?

Furthermore - since Feyre ended up with Rhys - did Rhys ever receive a POV in which he was thirsting after some other woman? Thinking about getting on his knees for another woman?

Y'all know how Janet is about the knees 🙄 Can't believe y'all saw her buzzword and didn't immediately know Elriel is endgame

[ecce-felix]

The stupidest thing about feyre is that she loses her shit at rhys for not telling her they’re mates (which I actually think was decent of him? Not manipulating her with the bond or forcing it on her?) and ghosts him for over a week before making him grovel but she’s totally fine with him & madja deciding she’s too feeble & fragile to know about her own body & pregnancy and conspiring to let her die rather than tell her & risk her fetus’ life shapeshifting. Like. Sarah Janet have you heard of consistency