#FreshHolstaurRamblings

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Dirt cake Oreos are just chocolate oreos but slightly gay

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God is afraid of me, so he is trying to kill me with sickness.

[Translation: My tummy dont feel too good, and my nose is stuffy]

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I'm at Dave & Busters and I'm wearing a Burger King crown AND THE SERVER BOWED TO ME IM FUCKIN LOSING IT FJEJBDHSJSY

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You ever interact with someone on social media and think, 'Holy moly, I wanna be their friend...ioly', but then things like social norms, perceived statuses, or general fear of rejection scare you away from just asking them if they would be your friend?

That's me, I think some of yall are really cool, but im scared to tell you that I want to be your friend.

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Hear me out...

Rise of the TMNT Donatello but he's wearing this sweater

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I never thought I would be a simp for a fucking turtle, but Donnie from rottmnt is making me act unholy.

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I got to see Mutant Mayhem yesterday fjdjtdtkgcig It was so good!! Ahhh!!! I love Wingnut so much!!!! 😭❤️

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I have an overwhelming desire to be one of those feral horny artists on twitter.

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[Read in a Sonic-esque voice/manner.] Uh oh, gamers! Looks like I can't gaslight, gatekeep, or girl-boss my way out of this one! You know what that means! Time for some good ol fashioned genocide!

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Im feeling a lot of things, and none of them are cash money, bro.

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♡ TMNT 21st Birthday ♡

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Self care is dropping 40+ dollars on the Fortnite x TMNT skins.

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You ever have that moment of someone saying something about you, and you look at them the same normal ass way you always look at people because, ya know, they are speaking about you? Then everyone else starts going "ooh they're giving you the look" and you're just left wondering what they're on about because you aren't doing anything different? Do I just look at people weird? Do I look weird? What did I do???? Help????????????

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I'm staying over at my boyfriend's house, and I forgot people from the church were coming over, so I woke up, still in my sleepy delirium, to loud Spanish chanting in the living room.

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Being sick sucks massively, but my voice sounds like it's suffering the worst rn, I swear.

Its like god was playing with a voice mod and said 'damn, wouldnt it be funny to make this bitch sound like they're crying, getting throat fucked by puberty, and being strangled all at the same time.' while throwing in a couple of injured cat yowls for good measure.