#GEDDIT??? IN OVER HER HEAD??? CAUSE SHE'S SHORT??????????????????? GEDDIT

[gentil-minou]

wlw wangxian for @wlwangxianweek

Day 1 - In Over My Head (aka short girl Wei Ying being in over her head with her crush on the tall new girl Lan Zhan)

Wei Ying has sat in the second row from the front of the board since the very first day of school. It was the perfect spot, actually. Right next Mianmian and in front of her brother so maximum annoyance potential. Perfect. Best of all, no one sits in front of her, which is soooo important because no one tells you how awful being the shortest girl in your grade is until you're trying to see over their dumb big heads so she can see what the teacher's writing.

As long as they don't elbow her (though if they do, Wei Ying is much stronger than she looks. She can take them These thighs are all muscle, baby), she's peachy keen. Even when assholes like Wen Chao try to make fun of her, being this short gives her the perfect angle to look down at his crotch, frown, and say, "Wow, I'm so sorry. I think you can get surgery to fix that." Before running away cackling. She's fast, and these lumbering idiots will never catch up to her anyways, hehe.

So Wei Ying is feeling pretty damn good about everything, until the new girl walks into their homeroom.

She's laughing at something Nie Huaisang said and so isn't entirely paying attention until their teacher draws their attention. When she turns around, all she can see is the back of someone very, very tall, with incredibly long hair that goes all the way down their back.

Shiny and silky, the kind she'd seen in hair commercials, with the shower running overhead and soap streaming down a stranger's body…

Wow, Wei Ying must be envious. She's always liked her messy waves, but maybe it's just that she's interested in growing her hair out and straitening it or something.

Anyways, that's not the most important thing here. The most eye-catching thing about this new kid is how incredible tall she is. Like, almost reaching the top of the blackboard, taller than most of the boys tall. Wei Ying's head would probably wouldn't even reach her shoulders.

"So cool…" she whispers, subconsciously. Jiang Cheng elbows her to quiet down and she yelps, "Hey!" which unfortunately draws everyone's attention to her, including the new girl.

And…oh. Wow. New girl isn't just tall. She's so pretty. Model pretty. Pretty pretty.

Wei Ying's struck dumb by the way New Girl fixes an intense gaze on her, peering above wire-rimmed glasses with eyes honey-brown and lashes long enough the must brush against her glasses all the time. She's staring at her, well, glaring at her more like, but wow, Wei Ying doesn't mind at all.

She gulps as her eyes trails down the side of New Girl's perfectly sloped nose, down to thick plump lips that are pursed in a frown and just…ah, her throat feels parched.

Wei Ying has never cared much about other people's bodies before. She's touched herself, of course, but she hasn't had more than a peripheral interest in others. Her breasts are small and she's perfectly fine with them. The rest of her female friends are a bit larger than her, but it's never been much of big deal for her. She changes in front of them all the time and there's never been even the smallest hint of anything more untoward.

Now, she can't look away. She doesn't think she wants to.

New Girl's breasts are…incredible. Wow. She buttons her shirt all the way to the top, but she must have the wrong size or something because one of the buttons is stretched a bit and Wei Ying can just barely make out the lace edge of her—

Mianmian clears her throat beside her.

Oh. Wei Ying was staring. With her mouth wide open in an o. And standing up over the desk to lean forwards on the palm of her hands.

Oh.

Wei Ying drags her gaze back up to New Girls face and…yup, New Girl's glare is 1000% times worse now. But her ears are also tinged pink, peaking through strands of her long hair.

It's cute…really cute. She's super cute. Yeah.

"Wei Ying?" the teacher asks, "Are you perhaps volunteering to guide Lan Zhan around the school?"

"Huh?" Wei Ying says around her still dry throat, the name echoing in her head. A pretty name for a pretty girl. Wow.

She's a bit speechless still, but Jiang Cheng elbows her again and that seems to do the trick, fixing whatever got dislodged from her brain, and sending her back into high gear.

Yeah, she can totally show New Girl— Lan Zhan, wow, around! She's great at that.

She beams her brightest grin across the classroom, and okay Lan Zhan just frowns more but somehow that just makes her even prettier. "I'd be happy to!"

"Wonderful," their teacher says, amused. "Lan Zhan you may take a seat in front of Wei Ying then and she will give you a tour around the school after class."

Lan Zhan nods and walks over, except it almost seems like she glides over, the ends of her long uniform-issued skirt swishing around her ankles revealing plain white socks and matching shoes. It should be ridiculous but with the way her hair fans out behind her just makes her look ethereal. Wei Ying can almost imagine the sparkles that would follow in her wake.

Lan Zhan stops in front of her new desk and glances at Wei Ying, who smiles back up at her, all friendly and everything so she feels super welcome. Lan Zhan's face doesn't change at all, just gives her an impassive look before she sits down and...

Oh. That's a problem.

She blocks the board…Wei Ying can't see at all.

Normally, Wei Ying wouldn't think twice about telling someone to move their big head…except Lan Zhan doesn't have a big head.

Her head is small and perfect actually, and her hair slides over her shoulder and it's taking everything Wei Ying has in her to not touch it and see just how soft it is….but that's not the point. She can't see, and she's feeling so hot and flustered by it for some reason she doesn't know what to do at all.

Then, almost as if she can read her mind, Lan Zhan glances at her and, seeming to understand, shifts to the side so Wei Ying can see perfectly just around her shoulder.

Wei Ying smiles at her and taps her shoulder to say thank you, earning a static shock that's electrifying and sends sparks down her spine to pool in something low and deep within her.

Lan Zhan nods again, eyes cast and demure, and turns back to the board.

It's worked. Wei Ying can see the board again perfectly. So even if the new girl is kinda mean-looking, she's kind. The realization makes Wei Ying's heart flutter and her cheeks turn an embarassing pink. She tucks her chin into her hands, palms at her cheeks hoping her cool skin can relieve some of the heat.

But there's a new problem now. With the way Lan Zhan is sitting now, towards the side and angled a bit as she jots down notes with perfect penmanship, Wei Ying can study her profile. An unobstructed view.

It's very distracting, she can't focus on anything the teacher is saying, at all.

A very pretty distraction. Oh dear.

TBC

(threadfic here)

[lazywriter7]

Five Bells

Written for @lightsonparkave prompt one and two. Cheers to the delightful @firebrands for all her words of encouragement.

Summary:  

After returning the Stones, Steve takes a detour through time.

First few lines of dialogue taken from Avengers: Endgame. All other lines in italics, as well as the title, are taken from Kenneth Slessor’s Five Bells.

________________________________

“How long is this gonna take?”

“For him? As long as he needs. For us? Five seconds.”

  Time that is moved by little fidget wheels Is not my time

the flood that does not flow.

 I have lived many lives, and this one life

  “You know which bagel,” Steve says – mostly distracted. Cross-legged, notepad on thigh, he is drafting new training plans for the team; Pietro is proving to be a unique challenge.

“I do?” Tony queries, standing above his shoulder. The couch is low and he towers over Steve. “I don’t remember that being covered by the history books… unless I’d fallen asleep, of course.”

Steve freezes. No, no, he stills. The setting sun angles over Tony’s cheekbone, a deep, burnt red.

Steve lowers his gaze, his skin shivering with the afternoon chill. “Sesame seed, please.”

  Why do I think of you, dead man

 You have gone from earth,

Gone even from the meaning of a name;

  It is in the little things. Natasha’s surprised blink when Steve brings her a peanut butter sandwich, the hollow silence when he curses on the comms and no one chimes the L-word back at him.

It is nothing. It should pale before the face of the big things, the earth-shattering, the miraculous – the reality of getting to hear their voices, see their faces, unblemished, every day.

Even Christmas. Clint snags a thumbnail under the wrapping paper and peels it open from the middle; lifts the box set of Jurassic Park colouring books in the air and shakes it. “Right, ‘cause I’m the toddler of the team, I geddit. Thanks, Cap.”

It’s for Cooper, Steve thinks; it’s dumb, I couldn’t help myself, you haven’t told us and I’m so sorry–

“Did you not have presents in your time?” Tony asks, part snark and mostly befuddled, the multicoloured gleam of fairy lights dappled in his hair.

I didn’t have you in my time – and. And. It is in the little things.

  Yet something's there, yet something forms its lips

And hits and cries against the ports of space,

Beating their sides to make its fury heard.

  “They’re shiny. Silver.” Tony says, bruised eyes, dim with a kind of terror Steve has lived through first-hand. “These big, heaving whales in the air… and everything else is dark. All of you are dead.”

It’s been twenty-three days since Steve told him about December 16, 1991. New traumas evoking older nightmares.

“And I’m alone.”

It wasn’t real, Steve should say. That is the correct response to a nightmare.

It was real, in another, deliberately forgotten lifetime. Five years, and they weren’t even the worst of it.

“We can prepare,” Steve fists his hands by his sides, so as to not reach for Tony’s trembling ones on the kitchen countertop. Everything around them is night and still, but for the flickering of the bulb overhead. “We’ll be ready for them when they’re here.”

It’s like a face shifting from the shade into the light; the gratitude moving over Tony’s features.

The kettle whistles, Tony pads over to the stove – and for an instant, it’s as if a cloud passes and Steve is convinced this is a BARF memory. There by the corner, the real Tony stands with shoulders curled in – gaunt, emaciated, mouthing words.

Liar. Thief. Liar, liar.

  Are you shouting at me, dead man, squeezing your face

In agonies of speech on speechless panes?

Cry louder, beat the windows, bawl your name!

  Tony, Steve breathes – and Tony catches it on his lips.

This has never happened before. Steve has no memories to compare it with, and catalogues every detail to add to a rolodex of sensations, for safekeeping; Tony’s eyelashes fluttering against Steve’s skin, the way the callus on his thumb digs into Steve’s chin when he’s holding it steady, the soft skin in the crevices between his fingers as their hands wound tighter together, the happiness of an impossible moment.

Tony pulls back, smiles softly.

Steve closes his own eyes, brushes his mouth over the corner of Tony’s, where the wrinkles begin – the place missing just a few extra lines.

  But I hear nothing, nothing...only bells,

Five bells, the bumpkin calculus of Time

Your echoes die, your voice is dowsed by Life

  “I have… Arlington.” Steve awkwardly presses himself against the wall of the overfull coffeeshop, paper cup oozing warmth through to his palms. Sometimes, if he lets himself forget, the crowds piling through the street and bustling indoors can still stun him. “There’s a memorial there, I mean. But if I could pick, after I eventually… Brooklyn, probably. In the Barnes family plot, if they allow it.”

“What,” Steve asks – turned morbid by the laughter and press of people around him. Fifty percent. It never happened here. “What about you?”

Natasha looks at him, brow crooking high enough to reach her hairline. Steve used to think that blistering colour came from hair dye, but he knows better now.

“Where I’d want to be buried?” She summarises bluntly. It’s like a wound getting cauterised – relief and pain making everything insensate.

The answer is a farm that isn’t supposed to exist, in the middle of nowhere. “Minsk,” Natasha says instead, and it doesn’t sound like a lie he’s heard before.

  Nothing except the memory of some bones

Long shoved away, and sucked away, in mud;

And unimportant things you might have done,

Or once I thought you did; but you forgot,

And all have now forgotten

   “Happy Sputnik Day!” Tony choruses, Thor’s deep base rumbling alongside his. Bruce is in the attached kitchenette, peering at jar labels in the shelf; Clint and Natasha playing Borderlands on the couch.

Steve comes further in from the doorway, gaze flitting incorrigibly from person to person. “What?”

“You know, Sputnik. The day all of humanity became a little cooler, and the Russians successfully launched the first satellite into orbit, driving the Americans insane.” Tony springs to his feet, wide grin approaching for a morning kiss. “October fourth.”

He barely catches Steve, fingers clamped about the arms, just as Steve pitches into the floor.

One year, one year one yearoneyearone –

Past, present, future swirls together in his serum-perfect brain, gibbering over two words, a fact so carefully forgotten; his breaths grow shallower and shallower, pain shooting through his chest with every hitch, black-spots-inverse-stars shimmering in his vision–

“You’re dead.” Steve rasps out, Tony’s face shuttering in confusion. And there’s nothing anyone can do about it. “You’re dead.”

  Where have you gone? The tide is over you,

The turn of midnight water's over you,

As Time is over you, and mystery,

And memory, the flood that does not flow.

  He’s curled on the couch, apostrophe-like; dry-mouthed but breathing slower against Tony’s denim-covered thigh. Tony drags blunt nails over his scalp, quietly humming under his own breath.

I’ve watched you, Steve thinks hazily – watched you raise a child, watched you be blissfully married, watched you speak to Howard, father to father, and dole out more understanding than he deserved, and let me walk you away from your pristine life and give me more trust than I had ever earned. I watched the silver grow from the temples of your head to the longer hair-strands, to the scrub of your goatee, up to the fleck of your brows. And the longer I keep watching you now, the more I know I’m watching someone else.

“Was so sure,” He can hear his voice reverberate off the floor, more of a croak than anything– “tha’ I wasn’ gonna leave you this time.”

Tony regards him, hum falling silent. There’s a dam there, in those eyes, holding back a wave of slowly stirring anger and injury that Steve fully intends to weather – but is leashed now, for some reason.

This Tony doesn’t have grey in his beard yet, but even as his lips move and Steve braces himself, he says–

“I’ll forgive you.”

  The night you died, I felt your eardrums crack,

And the short agony, the longer dream,

The Nothing that was neither long nor short;

But I was bound, and could not go that way,

But I was blind, and could not feel your hand

  After he’s said his goodbyes, Natasha follows him back to his room.

“Is he still in the plane somewhere?”

Back at the beginning, when he’d been dropping off the Tesseract at Camp Lehigh – he’d briefly considered it. Dropping off an envelope on Peggy’s desk with the coordinates of the Valkyrie, so that the other him could find… something. Maybe a happy ending, maybe just a chance. But all of time and its knowledge had been laid out before Steve, and he hadn’t resisted one extra indulgence.

It was only time before he met Scott, after all. One extra Particle than he had, one trip to the forties and back – and his self could be spared the pain of thirty years in the ice.

In twenty-twelve, Steve changed the course of history merely by showing up; all deep sea vessels, search parties in the Arctic called home. Captain America was alive and well.

“Seventy five, point two three zero six north, ninety nine point one one three zero west.” With every blink, Steve can see her memorising the numbers. “Find him, kick his ass into gear. Don’t let him run.”

She nods, and remains waiting in the doorway. Steve is motionless on the bed, the looming weight of the future wrapped around his wrist.

He looks at her. Natasha’s lips curve straight up, soft and reassuring.

“See you in a minute,” Steve whispers, and disappears.

  If I could find an answer, could only find

Your meaning, or could say why you were here

Who now are gone, what purpose gave you breath

Or seized it back, might I not hear your voice?

  Back on the platform, Bucky runs to him first. His brows are furrowed with faint surprise.

In that other past, and now that was The Other – Peggy had set him free in the seventies, aided by information that Steve left behind. When Steve re-emerged in twenty-twelve, he had no idea where Bucky was and how the years had passed for him – fettering his impulses in steel, and letting it remain that way. His interference would accomplish little, and Bucky had always managed on without him.

Or maybe that had just been easier for him to believe.

“Not the end of the line just yet,” Steve says.

The surprise smooths out of Bucky’s features, so does the staidness; he squeezes Steve’s elbow once and for a second, that grin seems alive.

“I hate running alone,” Steve tells Sam, who’s standing but two paces behind. He strides forward to catch up, reaches out and wraps Sam’s solid fingers over the strap of the shield in one motion. “Hold this for me, will you? Be back soon.”

He turns and walks. It’s a short one – the lakehouse property isn’t really big. There’s grass everywhere, and dandelions, and no headstones.

Just a tall, stately oak towards the side – foliage in full summer splendour. There’s already a circle of dropped acorns around the base, ready to sprout into a hundred, newer lives.

“Hey.” Steve strokes his fingers over the burnished bark. “I’m back.”

 I have lived many lives, and this one life

 Time that is moved by little fidget wheels

Is not my time, the flood that does not flow.

  Outside the lakehouse, Laura is bundling the kids into a van. Clint steps down from the porch, murmurs something to her, then jogs over to where Steve is watching, arms folded.

“She did have family,” Clint says, almost as an aside. “Sisters, a few others.”

Steve breathes the news in. The scent of summer is strong in the air, lilacs and crabapples and the soil itself.

“I have a few of her effects. They must’ve heard, already, but someone should tell them in-person.”

“I’ll find them.” Steve affirms. Clint nods, and walks back to the van, where Cooper sticks his head out of the open windowpane and gets his hair ruffled teasingly for his efforts.

Steve watches, the warmth of the sun beating down his arms and back. He has a feeling Minsk is pretty nice this time of year too.

[dailydianakko]

Undying Au- What chapter is this

help

“Akko Akoo!” shouted Diana sadly. “No, please, come back!” But I was too mad. “Whatever! Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!” I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key. It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Diana and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed. Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class. I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt. Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters. I put my chestnut brown hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual. I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar. Suddenly the guitar turned to Diana! “Akko I love you!” she shouted sadly. “I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world. Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time. Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!.” Then…………….s he started to sing “Da Chronicles of Life and Death” (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it) right in front of the entire class! Her singing voice was so amazing and gothic and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson (AN: don’t u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!) . “OMFG.” I said after she was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Diana’s now) at them. “I love you!” I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch) and CMM in a Cinderella Story. Then we went away holding hands. Croix shouted at us but she stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether. Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Blytionbuyry right then. We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether. XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX We ran happily to Blytoonberry. There we saw the stage where GC had played. We ran in happly. MCR were there playing ‘Helena’. I was so fucking happy! Gerard looked even sexier than he did in da pictures. Even Diana thought so, I could totally see her getting an erection but it didn’t matter cuz I knew know that we were da only true ones for eachother. I was wearing a black leather minidress and black leather platinum boots with red ripped fishnets. Diana was wearing a black baggy MCR t-shirt and black baggy pants. Anyway, we stated moshing to Helena. We frenched. We ran up 2 the front of the band to stage-dive. Suddenly, Gerard pulled off his mask. So did the others. We gasped. It wasn’t them at all. It was.,……………………….. PaUl and da parliment! “Wtf Diana im not going to a concert wid u!” I shouted angrily. “Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them” “What cause we…you know…” she gadgetted uncomfortbli cause girls don’t like to talk a bout you-know-what. “Yeah cause we you know!” I yielded in an angry voice. “We won’t do that again.” Diana promised. “This time, we’re going with an ESCORT.” “OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?” I asked. “So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?” “NO.”she muttered loudly. “R u becoming a prep or what?” I shootd angrily. “Akoo! I’m not! Pls come with me!” Sshe fell down to her knees and started singing ‘Da world is black’ by GC to me. I was flattened cause that’s not even a single, she had memorized da lyrks just 4 me! “OK then I guess I will have to.” I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room. Sucy P’oison was standing there. “Hajimemashite gurl.” she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz ‘how do u do’ in japanese). “BTW Hannah that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math.” “It serves that fuking bich right.” I laughed angrily. Well anyway we where felling all deprezzed. We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas. “Maybe Hannah will die too.” I said. “Kawai.” Sucy P’oison shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly. “Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den Barbara did it with her cause she’s a necphilak.” “Kawai.” I commnted happily . We talked to each other in silence for da rest uv da movie. “OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with diana tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr.” I sed. “ I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA.” Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. “Omfg totally lets go shopping.” “In Hot Topic, right?” I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde. “No.” My head snaped up. ‘WHAT?” my head spuin. I could not believe it. “Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall are u a PREP?” “NOOOO!NOOOO!” She laughed. “I found some cool goffic stores near Luna NOova that’s all.” “Hu told u abut them” I askd sure it would be Duana or Diabolo or Vampire(don’t even SAY that nam to me!). Or me. “Chariot.” She sed. “Let me just call our broms.” “OMFFG Chariot?” I asked quietly. “Yah I saw the map for blytonbury on his desk.” She told me. “Come on let’s go.” We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in BLUYTONBURY. The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. “We only have these for da real goffs.” “Da real goffs?” Me and Sucy P’oison asked. “Yah u wouldn’t believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday Piceis and Finnelan tried to buy a goffic camera pouch.” He shook his head. “I dint even no they had a camera.” “OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!” I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit. “Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit” The salesperson said. “Yeah it looks totlly hot.” Said Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall. “You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit. Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?” he asked. “Yeah I am actually.” I looked back at him. “Hey BTW my name’s Akko Chestnut dark’ness dementia TARA way what’s yours?” “Andrew Habrige.” He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. “maybe I’ll see you there tonight.” “Yeah I don’t think so cause I am going there with my gf Duana you sick perv!” I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Jasminkla flew in on his black broom looking worried. “OMFG AJJO U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!” XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX Andbrew gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free. He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual).  Jasminka kept shooting at us to cum back 2 LUNA NovA. “WTF NelSon?” I shouted angrily. “Fuck off you fjucking bastard.” Well anyway Barbara came. Jasminka went away angrily. “Hey bitch you look kawaii.” she said. “Yah but not as kawaii as you.” I answered sadly cause Boobra’s really pretty and everything. She was wearing a short black corset-thingy with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything. She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic. “So r u going 2 da concert wif Diana?” she asked. “Yah.” I said happily. “I’m gong with Diabolo (thatz Hannuah).” she anserred happily. Well anyway Duana and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2. Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said ‘666’ on it. She was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson. Diana was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vanss he got from da Warped tower. Lotte Go’thic 666 Nightfall was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Frank but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires. They dyed in a car crash. Frank converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was a peasant now.He gav up noblles. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Diana’s black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik) that her mom Berenadete gave her (berfore she died). We did pot, coke and crak. Diana and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there…….I gapsed. Gerard was da sexiest guy eva! He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice. We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn’t Gerard at all! It was an ugly NOble man wif Wrinklez and  eyes... Every1 ran away but me and Diana. Duana and I came. It was…….Paul and da Nobles! “U moronic idiots!” he shooted angstily. “Ajjo, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now……….I shall kill thou and Diana!” “No no please!” We begged sadly but he took out his knife. Sudenly a gothic old woman flu in on her broomstick. She had lung black hair and a looong black bread. She wus werring a blak robe dat sed ‘avril lavigne’ on da back. She shotted a spel and Paul ran away. It was…………………………………Hilberoook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[lhpxawol-amalgam]

Popular AWOl Ships in a Nutshell

Long post ahead.

WonderMod

Suwon:

Won x Soomi

Queen of all ships

Intellectual meets philosopher

Funniest couple you will ever meet

Agdjkfdgdaf there’s just so much chemistry

Stans have like written full-length thought-out analyses on this shit

When they dance together it’s the best cause Won can dance like no one’s business and Soomi is just trying her best but they still look awesome together

Gyuju:

Gyuri x Jinju

Both have two siblings

Both play guitar

Both are the two tallest in their group

Both do modern dance

At this point no one knows if the only reason this ship is so popular is cause they just have so much in common

But they do kinda balance each other out

Gyuri’s the drill sergeant and Jinju’s the cheerleader

Hyeju:

Hyerin x Jinju

Leader/maknae stuff, ya know

They’re actually pretty cute together

“Oh my god, they were roommates”

These shippers will never get over the one time Hyerin made Jinju ramen when she was super stressed and helped her to take a break from working

WonderMod stans be like “I ship Hyeju” and LOONA stans be like “but with who tho”

Hareum:

Hanbyeol x Areum

Hanbyeol can cook and Areum loves to eat so

Also lots of dad energy for some reason 

This one’s only as big as it is from that one fanfic “I’m Trapped in a Hareum Anime”

Shenanigan

Sangeun:

Sangwoo x Jaegeun

It’s a duo group

Of course it’s a ship

Generates lots of enemies-to-lovers fanfiction for some reason

Sangwoo’s the flirty one and Jaegeun’s the dapper one so you get all the cute shipping dynamics

AK6

2Woo:

K.O. (Kiwoo) x Woori

“Oh my God, they were roommates”

Scary but weak meets buff but softie 

Honestly could become real

I mean K.O.’s bi so

The fans feel vaguely justified

Uwu

Lites Out:

K.O. x Lite

Ah yes, the ultimate ship war: 2Woo vs. Lites Out

K.O’s stage persona is almost aggressive enough for Lite’s actual personality

Jk she’s soft for like one person and it’s him

Need to host a variety show stat

DeLite:

Lite x Luxe

Ah yes, the ultimate ship war: Lites Out vs DeLite

Fashion king and queen

They got that yin/yang thing going

Watch them like actually get away with murder tho

Labyrinth:

Miro x Luxe 

Ah yes, the ultimate ship war: DeLite vs Labyrinth

The thinking man’s ship

They’re always the ones to sit back and lovingly shake their heads while everyone else does something fun but stupid

No one really sees this ship going anywhere sexual but it’s got all the good memes so

Forget-Me-Not

Hanhwan:

Hanbin x Joohwan

That name tho

Poetry

Absolute softies for each other

If this were a fanfic it’d be a slow burn cause they’re so goddamn oblivious

Hanbin’s a sex-demon on the outside and a cinnamon roll on the inside

Let’s just say people suspect the opposite of Joohwan

Kim Woo:

Kim Gyeong x Siwoo

More leader/maknae

Try and make this one sexy and watch yourself get kicked out of the fandom by angry stans

This is why Forget-Me-Not doesn’t have ship wars

PINEAPPLE

Shinmin:

Shinyoung x Minchul

We don’t know how anyone let this happen

They’re cousins

Like not even distant cousins

I know the internet sucks

Ah yes, the ultimate ship war: Shincest or Mincest

Lots of pining jokes cause gEDDIT they’re in pINEAPPLE

But yeah this one gets all the shame it deserves

a.LOVE

Jangyoung:

Gayoung x Tokki (Jangmi)

Their MV characters have a sorta abusive dynamic so

This one gets a lot of eyebrows raised

But IRL they’re both just trying to out-care for each other

So the fics are either hardcore angst or total fluff 

I would say “oh my God, they were roommates” but they’re all roommates so like

Sungyoung:

Gayoung x Sungmi

The Unpopular Ship™

Oh look it’s another enemies-to-lovers Sungyoung fic

Half the time they’re both j chilling and the other half they’re the literal definition of sexual tension

MiMi:

Tokki (Jangmi) x Sungmi

Technically leader/maknae but like

It feels different

It’s just really cute man what can I say

They’ve got that tsundere/genki girl dynamic going

*insert meme man* Show ALL the affection!

GSG

Yangbin:

Yang x Sebin

All the chemistry, all the feels, and sadly also all the annoying straight girls fetishizing Asian men

But like seriously when they dance together it’s absolutely golden

Yang’s all flowing and expressive and Sebin’s all sharp and aggressive

Kinda matches their personalities too

It’s just sad that so many stans have to be all sasaeng-y about it

AB Yang:

AB Young x Yang

Who wants to bet it’s just for the name huh

But no it’s low-key cute 

You wouldn’t think they’d have too much chemistry at first

They’re like the “don’t match on paper but perfect irl” kinda couple

More platonic vibes than the Yangbin shipping content

Kyunghorang:

Horang x Kyungho

Literally just Sangeun all over again

Everyone wants to protecc our precious maknae Kyungho from bad boy Horang

But they’re actually both really good for each other and Horang just gets him ya know

You know what it is? It’s Good Omens. That’s the dynamic here.

DGRM

Moyeon:

Moya x Doyeon

Also called Doya by people who are stupid

Should really start their own pranking channel

Who’s ready for h/c fanfiction~~~

No but seriously Moya has helped Doyeon through panic attacks a lot

She’s tall so she can fit all the comfort in her

And Doyeon’s short bc

Um

Ok it’s just cute how much taller Moya is compared to Doyeon lol

Duanjung:

Jung-ah x Duanphen

Softies trying to be baddies

Like Yangbin in their dancing styles

So much poking fun at each other it’s not even funny but like it is tho

All the cuddles, all the selcas with cutesy filters

And then BAM new set of teasers comes out and they look sexy as FUCK

Yufang:

JD Fang x Yuyan

No one would’ve shipped it until the behind-the-scenes vid for Midnight Girl came out

And now they’re just weirdos together

They’re like the Sith: One master, one apprentice

Yuyan is the dark mysterious inner core JD wishes she had

And JD is the stability and reasonableness Yuyan has been searching for her whole life

JD Aika:

JD Fang x Aika

It’s 99% because they kissed in a music video

But like COME ON THEY KISSED IN A MUSIC VIDEO

AND NOT HALFHEARTEDLY EITHER

Honestly gorgeous fan art for this couple

Not as much obvious chemistry as some ships but fans are always like “omg thEIR HANDS tOuChEd”

Yiyan:

Yifei x Yuyan

There’s something about whenever they have lines or screen time together that just works

Both trying to soften each other up but in different ways

And usually succeeding

They’re just really good close friends ya know

The kind you could see accidentally developing a crush on each other

RFei:

Yifei x RJ

“Oh my God, they were roommates”

Ultimate good girl/bad girl ship

But secretly they’re both just nervous wrecks

We know Yifei helped comfort RJ a lot after she came out and heard back from her parents so

Get ready for more h/c fic~~~

Ho-J:

RJ x Hoa

The actual baddies

*stifles laugh* hoe-j

Remember the “sugakookie with a cup of tae” jokes? Yeah it’s that bad

They’re both just too sexy for the fans to handle so naturally what better ship could you get it’s just basic math

Also need to host a variety show stat

Triple D:

Duanphen x DaO x Doyeon

It’s a joke ship that some people started taking seriously

Don’t ask, no one has an explanation

SET! (Korean soloists)

JZo:

Jihoon x Zo

Because Jizo is an objectively bad name (ok sure it looks fine but try saying it out loud)

Also occasionally known as Jezus

Lots of uncle energy (?)

Zo would totally be Jihoon’s real life manic pixie dream girl if she wasn’t, ya know, a strong and badass woman with her own agency who also happens to have quirky hair

Mayoon:

May x Hayoon

Ah yes, the ultimate ship war: Do you pronounce it like “May” or like “Hayoon”

Tbh this ship died pretty quickly

Since we’re all pretty sure now that May’s aroace

And like they’re young, we don’t get in the way of their friendship

That iconic answer-your-tweets vid where someone asked “how do you pronounce Mayoon” and Hayoon was just like “you don’t”

But for real they have the BEST FRIENDSHIP HANDS DOWN

PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER

Mesmere

Jaereum:

Jaegeun x Areum

The thing with Mesmere is that there are canonical “couples” in the MVs

Which were decided based on which members were like “yesss I’m so down for this concept” and which ones were like “this could be fun to try I guess”

Jaegeun and Areum fall into the former category

The shippers tend to be very kinky

So much smut but like most of it’s inspired by Mesmere’s original concept so it shouldn’t be surprising 

Is there real chemistry? Who knows? Does it matter? Not to the fans it doesn’t

Robin:

Miro x Hanbin

The “this could be fun to try I guess” gang

Everyone stans bc omg that ship name is adorable

If Jaereum is the “sweet on the outside, sexy on the inside” pair, Robin is the “sexy on the outside, sweet on the inside” pair

This one always throws AK6 and Forget-Me-Not fans for a loop because no one expects them to be THAT SEXY

BUT THEY ARE

Fireflower

Seiko: 

Seori x Teiko

Another tsundere/genki girl ship

Except the genki girl is surprisingly intimidating in that “she’s not scary she’s just hot” way

New fans never expect Seori to be the head-over-heels type

But she is~

Someone make this into an actual book please it would be so cute

Harumi:

Haruna x Mega (Megumi)

1 ball of energy + 1 ball of energy = perfection

No but literally they have so much enthusiasm

They could be a perpetual motion machine where they both just survive off the other’s energy

Opposites attract more like no I love Harumi

Firepower

Junto:

Hiroto x Junya

Obligatory main-vocalist ship

Surprisingly pure ship until you realize you just haven’t looked hard enough

Like seriously it’s all fluff or all smut with this one

Irl they’re fairly cute together but mostly because they’re good friends

Good friends who happen to be very sexy

Yoshico:

Yoshi x Nico

The one fans actually care about 

Partners in crime except they would suck at any actual crime

All the memes. And when I say all the memes, I mean all. The. Memes.

Wouldn’t surprise anyone to know that Yoshi and Nico made all the memes themselves

They don’t like it when fans box them into a specific romantic relationship but they’re also like “yeah we ship Yoshico too” to be funny and cute about it

Flower+Power

Coco:

Teiko x Nico

The Cute Ones™

Sometimes it seems too perfect and you have to wonder if it’s just an idol personality thing they’re putting on because they’re supposed to

Until you remember this is AWOl we’re talking about

Probably just friends but still

More food puns

Ah yes, the ultimate ship war: Coco vs Ho-J

Ryouna:

Ryouga x Yuuna

So #sophisticated

Shipping Ryouna is a wild ride cause like

First of all they’re both hot as hell, especially together

And there’s just something about most Ryouga/Yuuna biases, they tend to be very hardcore stans (let’s just say neither of them are the Jungkook of their group in terms of popularity so if you stan them you STAN them)

And they are well aware of this fact

And love to tease fans with like “pretend” kisses on stage or during variety shows 

There’s just so much Ryouna content like who cares whether or not it’s real

We all know they’re gonna fall in love eventually

Other

WorldWideWoo:

K.O. (Kiwoo) x Sangwoo x Siwoo

AWOL’s version of the Dinosaur Triplets

Sangwoo came up with the name himself so you know it’s legit

All flirtatious bad boys on the outside, all surprisingly courteous once you get to know them

On their own they’re genuinely cool people, but for some reason whenever they get together they all become the kind of person to (un?)ironically use the word “swag”

So of course someone’s gotta ship it

Kim Hyerin:

Hyerin x Kim Gyeong

The pure one

Kinda overdone so

You either love this ship or you hate it

And either way it’s because they’re both such caring people that it becomes an unstoppable-force-meets-immovable-object problem

But everyone tends to agree that it’s at least kinda cute 

It’s also funny ‘cause in Korea women don’t take their husband’s names

Hyesang:

Hyerin x Sangwoo

Because Sangrin is an objectively bad name

The sexy one

They did ONE performance on e.LIVE together and now no one can get over how hot they are

Ah yes, the ultimate ship war: Kim Hyerin vs Hyesang

No seriously the number of Kim Hyesang love triangle fanfictions is kinda insane at this point

The shippers love to pull the “they’ve known each other longer, of course they’re emotionally closer” card and then make absolutely no content that reflects that

Naozo:

Ah yes, the ultimate ship war: is this referring to Naoko x Taizō or Naoko x Zo

Of course it’s Naoko x Zo they’re so much cuter together

Naoko and Taizō kinda go together as the two Japanese soloists but like

Naoko and Zo~~~

The chemistry~~~~~

NaoZo > Naozō

Why

Because it’s gay you fools

Cococo

Naoko x Teiko x Nico

Ok this is just ridiculous

[sabineelectricheart]

Avoidance Techniques [Pt. 3]

Summary: This was hard even to think about, he wonders how he is supposed to speak aloud.

Rating: T - Suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence, minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.

Words: 1075

Notes: So, it’s been a year (geddit?). Have you missed me? Hope you like this part, too.

It was past eleven o’clock. Sylvain’s breathing is slow and heavy when Byleth finds him at a private room in a hospital.

His eyes are closed, but he feels her presence. It charges the atmosphere in the room, making him long to touch her, but he falters at the idea that he could possibly hurt her.

Felix will plummet him the next time they meet, hard enough for him to come back here as soon as his friend was done with him. His car is wrecked and he could not afford to have it fixed, lest replace it with anything other than a compact.

Not that he would use it for anything. Judging by the angry look on the police officer’s face when they came around to question him what had happened, he certainly is going to lose his driving license at this audience they called. He is also pretty sure he can kiss a few accounts goodbye, since he saw that his accident, a photo taken without permission from his social media that prominently featured him with a drink in his hand, and the caption “Major Traffic Jam Caused By Reckless Driving” made it just in time to be broadcast on the evening local news.

Losing his girlfriend would really make this day the worst in his entire life.

“I thought they would call my mother.” Sylvain says in greeting; his voice tight as his ribs protest any movement, any breath.

Honestly, he was overjoyed that she came to his aid, but anyone not related to him would be great, too.

Byleth shakes her head, holding up her phone as some semblance of evidence. “Ingrid called me as I was leaving school. She told me all about the accident. She asked me to come and take care of you, since she and Glen were busy taking Felix home.”

Sylvain sighs, then gasps in pain. “I think Felix is angry with me…”

“You think?” She all but shouts. “You think Felix is angry with you? Sothis, Sylvain, I am angry with you! How could you do this to us? To me? To yourself!”

The redhead furrows his brows, confused at her outburst. His eyes wander over her body; the speed of her breaths combined with the flush under her skin and the thin line of her lips suggests her anger, but her eyes…

Her eyes show pain. Anger is there, it is simmering away quietly, waiting for fuel to be added to the fire, but, through it all, pain is the key emotion. He cannot help but wonder how long he has been blind to the pain in her eyes. He wonders whether it was visible every time he kissed her goodnight before leaving her once again.

Throwing her hands in the air, Byleth crosses her arms over her body, protecting herself from whatever else is about to happen.

Nudging the chair leg with her foot, she sighs. “Come on, the doctor said you can be released, but someone should stay with you for the next 24 hours for observation, to make sure you are not concussed. I’ll take you back to your apartment and I’ll ask Dimitri if he can keep an eye on you if you prefer that I don’t sleep over.”

Sylvain frowns, opening his mouth to begin to protest, but he decides against it at the last moment. Instead, he slowly pulls himself out of the bed, doing his best to hide the grimace that falls across his face at the first hint of pain, and then he walks to the bathroom so he could change.

The short cab ride between the hospital and his building is silent and full to the brim with awkward tension. It was not the first time that Sylvain had considered buying his girlfriend a car, since it would certainly make this less awkward if a stranger was not checking them out periodically on their rear-view mirror. Every time he broached the subject, though, Byleth would look him as if he had grown a second head and argue that she did not have a garage to keep it.

The redhead is so out of his depth, though, he is almost willing to rehash that conversation. He does not know what to say; he does not know what to do. He cannot decide whether he should reach across the bench and take her hand, offering her some form of comfort, despite it being him who is injured.

He does not take her hand. He chickens out at the last moment, unable to stop thinking about the pain in her eyes. Instead, he clenches his hand into a tight fist, willing himself to keep his hands to himself.

Distantly, Sylvain tries to pinpoint the exact moment it went wrong between them both. It was not his job, as Byleth was just as dedicated to hers. It was not jealousy or fear of him cheating on her. It was not because of his family name, nor because she found an easier mark.

It comes to him all at once.

“What is your problem with my apartment?” She had asked him once.

None. He had no problem with her apartment at all, except that, perhaps, he would prefer to have its leaser living at his own.

“Why do you never want to sleep over?”

Because… Because… This was hard even to think about, he wonders how he is supposed to speak aloud.

He never stayed the night. He had left her too many times. She is sad because she thinks he is not invested in the relationship. She thinks this is all an avoidance tactic that he perfected over his life, and, well, it could be argued that it is.

In a way, he had been right on the money from the start. He is losing one of the people he cared most about because of his anxiety, but not because he was anxious, but because he could not manage to communicate properly his thoughts.

Tilting his head back onto the headrest, closing his yellow and usually keen eyes, Sylvain deliberates whether he had left her alone one too many times, whether his time with her was now finally, actually running out. He can feel that crack in his heart grow wider, more painful, as things fall on its places and he realizes how stupid, how absolutely naïve he had been.

He feels it and he does not like it.

*_*_*_*_*

Avoidance Techniques Masterlist

Fire Emblem Masterlist

Three Houses Masterlist

[angelsanarchy]

"How much did someone pay you to wear that?" Stabby. (lmao cause she's a model geddit?)

Stuart walked into the apartment to see clothes strewn all over the place. This was a normal occurrence only when Abby had been gone away on shoots for Lindsey and wanted to separate things but also do her laundry in one fell swoop.

“Abs?” Stuart called out.

“Hey babe, I’m just throwing a load of laundry in.” Abby yelled back and Stuart picked up a random bikini or what looked like a bikini of some kind but he was unsure why it was almost entirely strings and coconut cups.

“How much did someone pay you to wear this coconut number?” Stuart carried the coconuts in his hands as he rounded the corner and saw Abby bent over in lacy boy shorts and one of his shirts.

“Enough for us to get that bigger TV we wanted. Also a bonus for being the only one willing to go completely nude.” Abby teased. Stuart tossed the bikini into the basket and gripped her hips making her jump and stand up straight.

“Any chance Lindsey got me some of those pictures to have for myself?” Stuart slid his hands up under the shirt and Abby reached back to grab his neck.

“Why do you need those photos when you’ve got me right here?” Abby could feel him pressing against her and he laughed.

“Well a guy has to handle himself when his insanely sexy girlfriend is off being naked on the beach with everyone else.” Abby laughed out loud and turned around in Stuart’s arms.

“Oh get over yourself. It was a long weekend. You were probably too busy doing nerd things with the gang to even think about jerking off so don’t give me that.” Abby knew Stuart far too well at this point. Living together for a year and a half had changed them both. While Stuart may not have been thinking about getting off, he did have trouble sleeping in their bed without her. It was kind of sweet. Sometimes he’d even crash on the couch because he couldn’t trick himself into thinking her pillow was really her.

“I just missed you and then the first thing I see of you is your ass. What’s a guy to do?” Abby rolled her eyes at him and shoved him away.

“A guy could help his girlfriend finish the laundry so they can make up for being away for the long weekend.” Stuart bent over and helped Abby throw the clothes into the basket and the washer when he felt something slap his ass hard. He shot upright and saw Abby smirking at him.

“Sorry I couldn’t help myself. You got one hell of an ass on you Twombly.” Abby teased making Stuart spin around and pick her up, making her scream as he sat her down on the dryer to finally get some prime making out in as her hands raked his shirt up and over his head tossing it into the running washing machine as the lid remained open.

“I like it when you wear my shirts.” Stuart mumbled through sucking onto Abby’s neck.

“I know you do, that’s why I wear them.” Abby reached for the belt on Stuart’s pants and he grinded his hips into her hand.

“Next time just be naked when I get home and I’ll try to be the same.” Stuart joked as Abby struggled to put her hand down the front of his jeans.

“Sounds like a deal. How about we race to see who can get naked first. Loser has to orgasm second.” Abby jumped down off of the dryer and yanked the shirt over her head running towards the bedroom.

“YOU’RE A CHEAT! But I like it.” Stuart fumbled with his pants as he ran, nearly braining himself on the coffee table. Abby was completely naked and waiting on the bed for him. He couldn’t help but smile. This is the life he always wanted.

[captaincanarygotmelike]

Fic: Sugar and Spice - Goldfish

Read on AO3

Read on Fanfiction.net

---

Rory’s goldfish had a short and rather unfortunate life. Rory had been begging for a fish for a few weeks before she returned from a carnival at the elementary school with a water-filled plastic bag and an orange fish in tow (which Leonard and Sara thought was awfully convenient).

“Did you give it a name?” Sara had asked after deciding that arguing against the fish was, at this point, futile.

“Uh-huh,” Rory replied, “Hades.”

“Like the Greek god of death?” she confirmed skeptically.

“Yup,” Rory nodded proudly, “and his tank is called Elysium. Geddit? ‘Cause Elysium is like the good part of the Underworld. You don’t really wanna be in the Underworld, but if you’re there you want to be in Elysium. Fish don’t really want to be out of the ocean, but if they are they want to be in a tank.”

“Ohhh,” Sara drew the word out as Leonard hid laughter behind a cough, “I think it might be time to lay off the Greek Mythology.”

Hades the Goldfish lived a troubled life for a number of reasons. One of them was Rory herself. At only six years old, she was not yet ready to care for a pet, and frequently forgot to feed him and in his entire short life, his tank never once got cleaned. Another was Snowball, their five-year-old cat who had it out for Hades the minute she laid eyes on him. Sara often found herself pulling the cat away from the tank and once Snowball had even knocked it over, and Rory had entered the room to see Hades the Goldfish lying in a puddle of water and colorful rocks on her bedroom floor.

Rory had made a dashing rescue, but after that, she realized that the prospect of having a fish was more exciting than actually having a fish. So she did what any six-year-old would do: she forgot about Hades entirely.

A week or so later, Mick brought up the goldfish at dinner.

“Kid, how’s the fish?” he'd asked.

“Oh, he’s dead,” Rory replied casually.

“What?” Leonard asked as Sara’s fork clattered against her plate, “When?”

“I dunno,” she shrugged, “When was Valentine’s day?”

“Over a week ago, honey,” Sara said, “Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I guess I forgot,” Rory replied, “I was looking in the tank and he was just kinda floating in the middle of the water and I looked closer and I realized he didn’t have any eyeballs.”

Sara closed her eyes in defeat as Mick snorted. Even Leonard looked like he was trying to suppress laughter.

“Did you find the eyes?” Mick asked.

“Yeah,” Rory nodded, twirling her fork around in her spaghetti, “They were floating at the top of the water. They were all swell-y and gross.”

“Cool,” he grunted.

“So you’ve had a decomposing fish corpse in your room for over a week,” Sara said, trying to get a hold on the situation, “and you’re just telling us this now.”

“Yeah,” Rory nodded, “I was gonna feed him to Snowball later.”

“Oh my God, Rory,” Sara said, shaking her head as Leonard and Mick burst out laughing, “No!”

---

Inspired by real events and that's all I'll say on the matter.