#GONKILLU OFC

[killuaisaprincess]

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[steinesart]

workout doodle

[killuaisaprincess]

🌷🩷🌷🩷🌷

[killuaisaprincess]

🥒

“You just wanted Gon to open that for you.”

Killua’s expression falls, and he puffs out his cheeks.

“N-No, I didn’t! Isn’t that right, Nanika?”

[killuaisaprincess]

firefly

“Did you bring me any treats this time?”

Gon asks, and he lifts Killua up with one arm, glancing at the side to see if he has a basket.

Killua gasps and glares.

“W-What? Am I not good enough…?”

He mumbles, pouting.

[killuaisaprincess]

Brave Knight

“Red! Green is yucky! Daddy wears it too much!”

Gon glances over from where he had been messing with his fishing rod, and Killua giggles.

“I agree, Daddy wears it too much.”

Gon stares.

“Killua, it’s inappropriate to call me that out in public, you know.”

Killua gasps and glares at Gon puffing out his cheeks.

[killuaisaprincess]

🥞

“Don’t try and distract me! Are you saying I’m grouchy normally?”

“No, no, of course not. You’re usually sleepy and adorable.”

Killua’s cute little sleepy-eyed look when he would open up his arms and ask through body language for Gon to pick him up, when he would yawn, when he would rub at those big blue eyes...

It's adorable.

[killuaisaprincess]

IVE LOST MY DANG MIND BUT FUCK IT IDC WE GKIES DESERVE EVENTS TOO

[killuaisaprincess]

cinnamon roll

“Do you wanna share the new dessert with me?”

Gon gently asks, cupping Killua’s cheek, and Killua looks away shyly.

He nods, and Gon chuckles, knowing by sharing, Killua would eat the whole thing, but he doesn’t care; it’s adorable.

[killuaisaprincess]

hold me in your arms like a prison

Read the rest here! 💕 I just really want Ki in cute dresses and skirts, and Gon thinking he’s pretty cuz he is! And Ki has trauma! And Gon saving Ki and carrying him ofc! My fave niches. AHHH. KI IS JUST MY BABEY AND HES BABEY AND I LOVE HIM AND HE DESERVES LOVE.

His heart won’t stop pounding…

Killua shifts in place, trying to avoid the people shuffling around the bustling street, clicking his heels together, staring at the white straps of his sandals, contrasting against his fair skin.

Gon said he would meet Killua in the park…

So he’s waiting just outside where the grass and the sidewalk's concrete meet.

Killua peers down, cradling the box he’s holding with the cake he made in it, a sigh caught in his throat that feels so tight…

A shiver runs down his spine as a breeze lifts the edges of his pastel pink ruffled skirt, the wind brushing against his bare arms.

He wonders if…

He looks stupid…

He’s used to wearing baggy clothes that hide his scars and bruises… it makes him feel insecure. Standing here with his knees and his arms and his ankles all exposed…

Alluka had said he looked adorable and that he was worrying too much. There was a sad twinkle in her eye as she handed him her puffed white short sleeve blouse, saying it was his now; and that she’s grown out of that style anyway.

They used to dress together in those cute fashions, but…

He can still recall the hurtful words that make stinging tears form in his eyes, that he blinks away furiously, growling. What does he care what that idiot said?!

Why does he still care…

Who cares if his scars are hideous? There aren’t bruises anymore… he doesn’t have to hide…

But…

“KILLUA!”

He almost jumps, but the voice doesn’t sound angry, and he sees a bright neon green headed his way and his face burns.

“Killua!”

Gon skids right to a stop in front of him, grinning from ear to ear, his expression morphing to one Killua can’t figure out, those dark thick eyebrows of Gon’s furrowed, and lips open in the shape of an ‘o’.

Did he look that bad…?

Gon shakes his head, clearing his throat, laughing sheepishly.

“Wow. You... You’re very pretty. I mean, you’re always very pretty, I mean- sorry it took me so long, my Aunt was busy, and I was lending her a hand.”

Killua blinks, his chest and cheeks and the back of his neck all burn, even the tips of his ears feel like they are set ablaze, and his blood roars in his ears.

Gon was just being nice… just being nice…

“D-don’t say something so embarrassing!”

Especially if it’s not true…

He stomps off into the grass, holding the box closer to his chest, hoping it’ll shield his heart from jumping out, keeping his chin tilted down, his bangs brushing into his eyes, some strands coming loose from a clip in his hair with sakura flowers.

Gon’s yelling from behind him about how it’s true, and Killua walks faster until he spots a tree, sinking into the grass and hugging his knees close to his chest, gripping the box harshly.

Why does he have to feel this way… like he’s ill…? Like he’s… lovesick… 

“Killua-!”

Gon leans before him, worry painted across his features, and Killua’s heart wavers again, and he shoves the box into Gon’s arms.

“Here, stupid. I-it’s the cake… I…”

He bites his lower lip, looking at a patch of grass, his cheeks flushed red.

I hope you like it…

Gon reacts like the most giant dog he’s ever seen getting a bone, grabbing it carefully but with a childlike happiness, smiling at Killua.

“Thank you, Killua. I’m sure it’s gonna be great!”

—

Killua feels so anxious the entire time Gon is eating the first slice; wondering if he placed the strawberry’s perfectly or why he even cares if he did. But what if… Gon thinks it’s gross…?

“This is better than my Aunt Mito’s!”

A laugh is stifled in his throat, an eyebrow raised, and all the tension seems to slip from his body for a moment.

“Really? I feel bad for your poor aunt.”

Gon rushes to explain, waving his arms back and forth in panic, and Killua can’t help but laugh, getting a slice for himself.

—

“You got something…”

The warm touch of Gon’s thumb, the rough surface rubs near his lip, and his heart catapults out of his chest, his head spinning, his hands clammy.

The tension comes back to his body tenfold.

It’s hard to breathe. The pressure weighs down on his lungs.

It aches. His heart. He knows Gon won’t ever love someone useless, worthless like him, it hurts so much, but he also yearns for it. Gon is nice like no one other. No one besides from Alluka has ever cared about him.

His hands shake so much he has to set the plate down, doubling over, squeezing his eyes shut.

No. He doesn’t want to love.

“Killua?”

Gon’s voice is deep and gruff yet so kind; he slips farther, biting back a whine, his body jolting as Gon places a large hand on his shoulder, the warmth burning his skin.

His heart won’t calm down… it feels like it’s beating out his chest. He feels like he’s gonna die. He doesn’t want to feel like this. No one can ever love him… why does he…

“Killua, are you okay?”

It hurts…

“My heart hurts…”

A small wail leaves his lips before he can stop it.

It hurts. Why does Gon have to be so kind?

The world around him blurs with a film of hot salty tears.

Killua hates it. How his breath is taken away the moment he’s surrounded in that warmth again, strong arms lifting him off the ground.

He can’t hear anything over the beating of his heart, instinctively leaning down and burying his face in Gon’s chest.

Gon was always so warm.

Loud honks and curses are muffled in his ears, long thin digits digging into Gon’s jacket.

Say something.

It’s all a mix of noise that makes his head pound.

Gon is yelling worried words, and people are cursing at Gon.

Say something.

He blinks away tears furiously, gripping tighter; all the noise is overwhelming, Gon’s footsteps against the road seeming to shake the ground with force.

Say something…

His tongue feels useless, just a pink blob of flesh in his mouth, and he leans as far as he can into Gon.

He’s…

—

“I’m telling you he’s fine!”

Leorio looks two seconds away from throwing his table at Gon, and Killua can’t help but shrink.

This is his fault…

“Are you sure?!”

Gon paces around the room back and forth, his eyebrows pinched down, his arms crossed.

“Yes! I’ve checked his heart five times! I checked all his vitals! Calm your ass down!”

Leorio mutters something about Gon’s stubbornness and how he didn’t go to college for a million years to get a degree for this.

Gon opens his mouth, stomping over to Leorio’s desk, grabbing one of the papers off, staring at it as if he could even remotely understand it.

“Are you sure-?!”

“G-Gon…”

Killua can feel the shift of eyes on his in an instant; it makes him squirm; he digs his fingers into his skin, staring at the white tiled floor.

“The old man is right. I-I just had a panic attack…”

How could Gon care so much about him…?

He’s…

“Oh, thank God.”

Shouldn’t he be mad? Shouldn’t he be asking Killua why he had one? He ruined their date. Again.

Instead, when glassy blue eyes flicker up, he only sees relief wash over Gon’s features.

Killua grabs the metal chair, so harshly his knuckles turn white. He stands up shakily, his vision tilting.

“Wow! Wow! Hey!”

He hears Leorio screeching, but his focus splinters to Gon.

“I-I’m sorry…”

He breaks his skin with his nails, the pain making him flinch, a heavy choked out breath caught in his throat.

He can’t-

“Killua.”

He can’t.

He can’t.

“I’m sorry- I… I-“

He’s such a burden…

‘You don’t need anyone else but me, K. No one else would want you.’

He’s worthless, hideous. He shifts, and the straps of his sandals dig into his ankle, turning porcelain flesh cherry red.

Gon reaches out, and Killua flinches; the look that passes by Gon’s face, Killua isn’t sure what it even is. Anger? Worry? Hurt? Hate?

Hate.

His stomach sinks, his body shaking with tremors, the room feels too small.

He bolts, Gon’s fingers brush up against the soft flesh of his wrist for a moment, one too long, and he slams the door open, shoving past people, a hurricane of white and blues pounding against his head. It’s all mixing in bright light.

Not again. Not this again.

It hurts.

He stops.

Bodies brush up against his thin frame, and his legs shake; he sinks back against the wall, drawing his hands into the folds of his skirt, sliding down to the floor.

He tugs his legs up, letting his knees knock together, wisps of hair falling into his eyes.

Don’t run. Don’t cry. He swallows down a hiccup, keeping his eyes peeled on the floor.

A hand comes into his vision, and he jumps. Even though he should just take it, whatever pain awaits him.

It tugs away slowly, and Killua keeps his gaze away. His throat and ears burn, a throbbing pointed headache forming in the middle of his forehead as he blinks away tears.

“Killua.”

“Gon…”

That’s right; he owed Gon a proper apology; he couldn’t run away from it all, even if it meant pain… even if it meant a beer bottle to the head…

“I’m-”

He tilts his head up, expecting Gon to be annoyed, angry, anything, but there isn’t that look. Just a sad smile and a hard-set gaze of determination.

“Killua. You’re my princess in another castle. You don’t have to keep apologizing.” He stops, his smile turning into a sheepish grin, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck. “You don’t even have to make me a cake; I want to help you.”

Why?

His heart feels a dull ache, but there’s a warmth that pulses through his veins, his face hot.

“I wanted to…”

Killua chews on his lower lip, burying his face into his knees, and when that warm hand rests on his back, he doesn’t flinch.

“I wanted to make it for you, you idiot.”

He doesn’t know what to do with these feelings… they’re wrong.

His chest feels so funny…

Gon lets out a laugh that rumbles from his chest and makes Killua flush, shyly peeking his head out, Gon offering him his hand.

His logical thought is to refuse it, to take it hesitantly.

He collides into Gon’s chest instead, Gon’s hand catching around his waist. Gon still smells like oil, even with the air of medicine and potted plants.

Idiot…

He’s so fucking dumb!

His whole body feels warm with shame, but Gon doesn’t shove him back; instead, he picks him up, and Killua can feel the shift of Gon’s movement, careful, gentle, yet strong, this is bad. He can’t sink into this. Why… does he want this…?

Why does he want Gon to hold him?

He shouldn’t want this… It’s wrong for him to want anything; he didn’t deserve anything.

There’s a hesitance in his movements, slow, scared, like a stray kitten accepting food.

Killua reaches up and slowly wraps his arms around Gon’s neck, and Gon’s eyes go wide and seem to light up, as if they weren’t a light in the darkness already. Killua looks away before he can see anything else, lowering his chin.

He feels safe…

Pressing his face into Gon’s chest, just peeking to see Gon walk and shuffle by people, holding Killua as if he’s something precious, something he has to protect.

No one… thinks he’s something precious, though…

Killua swallows a lump in his throat, dropping his arms from Gon’s neck, and gripping Gon’s jacket.

“You make me feel safe…”

With all the noise around, he doesn’t know if Gon hears it, isn’t even sure if he wants Gon to hear, but…

Gon shifts him closer, and Killua closes his eyes, feeling comforted and warm in Gon’s arms.