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phoeebsbuffay · 2 years

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Imagine you are the twin sister to Luke, daughter of Padmé and Anakin Skywalker, who was raised in Lothal. However, at the age of seven you go through a difficult trauma. Years later you are part of the Ghost crew and Kanan Jarrus is your master. But the moment you meet Darth Vader, something changes in you… as well as in him. Part I

Warnings: the character’s plot is based on Ezra Bridger’s on “Rebels”. References to season two will be seen here. So no Ezra in this story and the reader is a 15 year old—same age as Ezra. Also, no Princess Leia in this universe, sorry.

Warnings 2: teenage angst and drama, but also it’s meant to be a light reading. Lol. Here we go!

Warnings 3: fluffy ending; we don’t work with misery and unhappiness endings here.

***

Intro.

It all begins when the seven year old you is outside playing with a false blaster your father had borrowed you. You like see yourself as a soldier like he is.

“Pew pew pew!” You make the sounds as you aim the toy to the tree, pretending it’s a trooper. Under the watchful gaze of your mother, you play against the wind, free and deprived of concerns. You are dressing comfortable clothes and your hair is tied in a similar fashion of your mother’s.

You turn at her with a smug on your lips.

“See how powerful am I? I just defeated the tree stopper!” You giggle softly.

“You are a very bright child, Y/N.” You are told, which makes you beam. “Come inside, though. It’s going to rain.”

You look up at the skies; they are instantly grey, but to you…these clouds are not only announcing a storm but something worse that might happen. You don’t know what nor why.

But you obey. Once inside, you see that your folks are restless. Your father walks from one side to another and your mother has everything packed.

“Are we going somewhere?” You ask, so innocent. You don’t understand what’s happening, even though you feel the fear from them.

Your mother comes to you and makes sure you wear your backpack. There is sadness in your eyes.

“I wish I could tell you the truth about all of this, Y/N. But there is no time. I’m sorry.” She strokes your cheek gently.

You hear the sound of thunder and a chill runs over your spine. You too are scared.

“Mommy…”

Before you know, she grabs your hand and runs with you and your father, who’s leading the way. The three of you try running from storms troopers who, out of blue, are being chased. You start to cry.

“Sweetheart, I’m sorry. We failed you.” She separates ways from her husband. “We love you. Never forget that. Now run! Run!”

You do as ordered, but when you turn your head behind, you see the blasters taking their lives away. Had you not been so terrified and prompted to flee, you’d have destroyed the enemy. But there is little time to think or do. You weep as you run under a heavy rain.

Maker knows what will be of you now…

***

Your POV.

Eight years later.

You tie your hair in a bun on top of your head before you move towards the ship where you see there’s a good content which you could make good use. Perhaps if you took that barril of fuel and gave to a contrabandist, you’d get enough credits to buy some new clothes and food.

Here’s my mission.

You are careful to follow the members of that ship. You see at least three of them: a tall guy with brown long hair tied in a ponytail; a girl with colorful hair who is using a Trooper’s helmet and a Lasat whom you’ve never seen before.

I thought they lived in stories.

You shake your head, refusing to access your childhood memories. You need to stay focused so you let this instinct lead you to them—although you interpret it as an easier way to get your things done. You are patient, though, so you take your time.

“All right. It’s almost time…”

You leave your safe position as soon as these three follow different paths. You throw your hood over you face, a master in disguise you’ve become in last years, and move like a ghost amongst the people of your planet.

You are about to get in the ship when a noise startles you. There is some confusion in downtown—which is near to your location—and you are spotted by the girl.

“Hey!” She pushes you out of the ship before you even get a chance to go inside. “What do you think you are doing?! Out!”

Your vision is good, as well as the instincts so natural to you, so you manage to fall out without getting harmed in the process and without taking a shot. But to worsen matters, the guy you’ve seen before is running by your side.

He frowns at you, seeing how the girl with the helmet kicked you off the ship. So many questions, but he is more preoccupied in getting himself safe.

Somehow you end up joining forces with him because the chase involves you too: the stormtroopers don’t seem to make a difference between you and the ponytail guy—looks like you’ve had a bad timing in trying to steal the fuel.

“Who are you?” He asks you, trying to take the vehicle you’ve just stolen and refusing to be kicked out from it. “What were you doing in the ship?”

“Does it matter?” You give a snark response. “Why don’t you let me go? I have nothing to do with your business.”

He laughs at you.

“Looks like you do. The troopers are chasing us.”

There is a fight. One of the kind that leads you to reckless behavior or panic attacks. Today, looks like the second one. You’d throw yourself from the vehicle and see a way to survive as you try to escape the pew pew pew from the troopers.

It’s when the ship comes closer. The guy senses your fear, but he also sees you are strong with the Force.

“Come with me.”

You look at him, amused and distrustful at first.

“What? No way! I don’t know you!”

“You were about to since you tried to steal my ship. Besides what other choice do you have?”

“I… I’ve been on my own long enough to know I can survive without any help.”

“Yeah but unless you’d like to go arrested from here, I don’t see how you are helping your situation.”

You narrow your eyes.

“Fine.”

You don’t ask his name. All you do is trust in him when he tells you to jump into the very same ship where not so long ago you tried to steal.

And that is how you get away with chasing. Again.

***

Vader’s POV.

The silence in his quarters is tense, disturbed as usual is. When their owner is meditating, darkness flows naturally and crudely. There is no a mid term. He is his own company—and his own enemy too.

When his eyes are cast to the sabers that are tied to his sides, Vader can hear his demons coming from hell to torment him. He knows today will not be different.

He usually goes under with the voices, enjoying the torture they make him. Because that is what he deserves—an eternal punishment from the choices he made and all that costed him.

However, as he begins to meditate, he is surprised by an unusual silence. The Force is reaching out for him… and as he shuts his eyes, confusion takes place.

A confusion of scenarios is seen. Vader perceives the moves, the chaos, the despair such input him. To his own surprise, it makes his heart ache. Such a suffocating pain. He can hear the screams. The loneliness, the anger, the fear… All sentiments very familiar to him.

However, when he concentrates… Vader’s arrogance and pride abandon him. He does not know why nor how, but this figure, whom he cannot see but rather feel a strange connection, is in suffering. The more he tries to reach out for this individual, the more he is repelled.

Which results in a great sense of anger and frustration, thus breaking the unusual channel the Force seems to have brought to him.

Whoever this person is, Vader comes to realize that it is imperative the Emperor be kept in ignorance. So that way, he takes a ship and decides to look for whoever is the individual responsible for disturbing him.

“Whoever you are, I’m coming for you.” He mumbles to himself.

***

Your POV.

You wake up suddenly with a chill in your back, restless and anxious all the same for some motive that escapes you. You just feel it.

“Hey Y/N”, you hear Sabine calling you. “Are you all right?”

“Hm, yeah, sure. Did I wake you up? Sorry. I don’t know what’s up.”

You have been with the crew for some months now. It was difficult at first to settle in because of the mutual distrust—you were trying to steal the fuel of their ship after all—-but as you started to joining the rebels in missions against the empire, you began to feel like now you are part of the family.

Sabine is now a good friend of yours and with whom you share a room. Every now and then you and Zeb keep picking at each other, and captain Hera has been the maternal figure you’ve been missing since your parents’s demise.

However, your bond with Kanan Jarrus is spectacularly exceptional. Specially because he’d become your Master Jedi. Yes, he sensed a great force in you and ever since he’s been trying to train you.

So that is why, now that you are more familiar with the Force and the trainings of a Jedi, you feel as if it has been trying to tell you something. But precisely what? You cannot tell.

“No. I was already up, just feeling indisposed about leaving bed.” She and you share a chuckle. “It’s time to make breakfast, then. The day is going to be long.”

She leaves you to your thoughts. You lie back down in bed, eyes closing, trying to concentrate once again what was the chill you got because you are sure this is meaningful.

When you do so, after two or three attempts, you finally get something. The vision that is before your eyes shows you a mix of scenarios: a woman you barely know weeping in the childbirth. A man in deep suffering left in tears in a place surrounded by lava. There is also a boy with sandy hair running, but you don’t see his face.

And finally… you see a masked male breathing mechanically. He seems to stare at you. You gasp and get instantly up. Your heart races. It’s too much for you.

You leave your quarters after changing your clothes, joining the crew for the first meal of the day. You look slightly grumpy and confused, but since it’s how you often appear in the morning, no one notices the difference.

Except Kanan. He decides to wait for a moment to have with you. And when you finish eating, he says:

“Hey, Y/N. Can I have a moment with you?”

You turn instantly at him. You smile at him.

“Yes, Master?”

Kanan sighs.

“I don’t think I am one, kid. But come here, I noticed you are acting strange.” He puts a hand over your shoulder. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, I am.” Then you hesitate. But Kanan is patient, he waits for you. “I’ve been having some visions.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I don’t know what they mean, though I do know they mean something.” And you tell him all about it.

Kanan strokes his beard, looking thoughtful as he’s being told of these enigmatic views. He gives you a long look.

“I think we should try finding a temple Jedi. There are few out there, but if we can find one then perhaps our answers will be there.” But because you look disappointed, he says: “Hey, Y/N. Be patient. Perhaps this is a test for you. Most Jedis must endure these lessons. Now come, it’s time for your training.”

***

Vader’s POV.

His heart is shaken with different emotions as he watches the color of your eyes coming right to his visions. Blue like his. No, he corrects himself, it’s like those of Anakin.

Your hair has the same shade of color that he used to have as a child. The more he sees you, the more he is hit by a sense of desperation. It takes little time before he knows you are alive. His child, his precious child is alive.

Right as he pauses in the middle of space to meditate, Vader is conflicted. He thought you’d been gone and now he understands why he was placed in a foster care, away from his reach.

Obi-Wan was wise.

However, you were supposed to have enjoyed a safer environment with a father and a mother who loved you. But when it comes to his thoughts the realization that he was not the father you needed, he was not there to rock you as a child, to tend your emotional wounds… Vader howls in pain.

What have I done?

To worse all of this, the visions show you running as a young girl from one side to another, hiding, often scared and alone. The more he concentrates, the more he sees with clarity.

When you start to sharp your mind and begin to shield yourself after two years on the run; Vader sees so much of Padmé in you, the braid, the diplomacy when dealing with others, when caring for the victims of the Empire.

An Empire he helped to build.

Vader swallows. But as if the darkness is snapping at him, the visions don’t end there.

A heavy, electrical storm comes to Lothar. Where the people know how to protect themselves, you don’t. You are actually in a spot far from the center when it starts to rain. You are scared, alone in this world. You want to cling onto the anger because of your situation.

However, you are exhausted and lonely. What’s the point of feeling angry? You realize it’s just you and you. The Force seems to calm you without your awareness. You stand and, from wherever you are, you start to run.

“Nothing will stop me now”, Vader hears your thoughts. Your strength is admirable, it reminds him of when he was a child, how he endured the years of slavery. He sees himself in you, though you are definitely a better part of him.

The vision shows you running the faster you can, heart racing loud as a whirlwind seems to chase you. It’s you versus the nature. You are breathless. But you refuse to give up. You begin to get exhausted, and had it not been for an old lady who sees you and helps you out, you’d been swallowed by the growing electric storm.

You won. But your tribulations had just begun…

The vision changes to you nowadays. Vader’s heart breaks when he notices the many years you’ve been by yourself. Not only that but you are not a child anymore, rather a young woman.

He sees how similar you look like Padmé. Your face is no longer chubby, but your blue eyes seem to carry the weight of the world. The shades of your hair have gone darker, you look taller. Vader doesn’t realize his eyes are blurred by tears until they roll down his cheeks.

“I’m coming for you, child. Wherever you are, I am not letting you go this time. Whatever it takes.”

He pilots back to Lothar, aware that there is where you are now.

***

Your POV.

You are at an old Temple Jedi. You look at Kanan in search for answers. But in his eyes he is as puzzled as you.

“Come, Y/N. We are here at long last. How are we going to get inside? Go on and try yourself.”

You hesitate.

“I don’t think I can. The last tests I took a while to succeed.”

Kanan sighs.

“You should have some more faith in you, Y/N. What you lack is discipline. You need to have patience.” He gives you a gentle smile. “Now go on. Do or do not, there is no try.”

You frown, confused.

“How can this be without a try?”

“Master Yoda used to say that…” The Jedi strokes his chin, looking thoughtful. “To be honest, I don’t think I understand much either.”

You chuckle softly before acquiescing. You close your eyes, take a deep breath and after a few attempts, you manage to lift a big rock in a weird shape from a very big size.

“See?” Kanan tells you proudly. “I told you that you could do it.”

You blush.

“Thank you, Master.”

Now the two of you finally step inside. You walk for some minutes before standing before one great door. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so small before.

“By the Maker!” You exclaim suddenly, startling Kanan as your voice echoes.

“What’s it, Y/N?”

You point at two skeletons of Jedi masters sitting right there.

“Ah.” Kanan says. “These were masters who waited for their Padawans who never came back. Now, Y/N, you have to cross that door over there. Can you see it?”

You follow the direction his finger is pointing at. You see an entrance in the form of letter “A” that seems to lead into the unknown. But you are frightened.

“Go on, lass. You can do it.” He encourages you. “Just… don’t do anything you’d do it normally.”

You roll your eyes.

“Very funny, Master.” But you nod at him before proceeding to it.

Your steps are hesitant, but you finally cross the door. You barely do so before the door behind you closes, much to your despair.

“Damn it.”

You question yourself if you can do it. There is darkness ahead you. But you have to be brave. You lift your head and move into the nothingness ahead you. It’s when you finally meet… the Inquisidor.

Not long ago, you and the Ghost crew had come across an Inquisitor who was meant to prosecute the remaining Jedis and destroy them. It wasn’t an entirely surprise that, as part of a rebel cell, he found out the existence of a Jedi amongst your group—your master. The Inquisitor tried to prosecute you constantly, but he never made it. You had come to think he died, but if so what was he doing right before you?

You are about to panic.

***

Vader’s POV.

He finally lands at Lothar. He never considered going to this planet one day. The sand he sees gives him disgust. It reminds him of Tatooine and the mere thought gives the Sith lord nausea.

As Vader does so, removing his mask and lifting his hood, he begins to confabulate a way to approach you. Knowing you are associate to the rebels, and perceiving your Jedi Master is with you, a battle is expected—perhaps.

There is conflict in him, nonetheless. He wishes you no harm, you are his child after all, the very link to Padmé, the daughter he always wanted. That he lost you becomes intolerable to him.

But there is also shame… of who he is, of what he’s become, what he’s done. Would you forgive him for his past, for the path of blood he followed? So many questions make him anxious.

Vader then leaves the ship and moves to an ancient temple Jedi. But for some reason, he does not walk in. No. He waits, he can be patient.

From some distance, his eyes contemplate it with despise and repugnance to the Jedis. So vain, so proud. How better did they think themselves before the Sith?

And yet… Were the Sith any different? His own logic tricks him: you remain kneeling to those above you, when will you be your own master?

A thought that begins to dissipate the dark mists that were once placed in his eyes like a blindfold. Is he starting to see clearly? That he’s been manipulated all along?

The weight of an empire is too heavy for him. It resulted in catastrophic losses, though Vader does not care about others than his own. He closes his eyes, looking for you.

The Force guides him inside the temple. He sees your Master anxiously waiting for you, all the while you are across the door. Your first Jedi trial. It gives him mixed feelings: part of him is proud of your path, you are following in his steps, but… part of him fears what will be of you if you do. He wants to disassociate you from the Jedis.

Yet the question remains: how?

Vader closes his eyes and meditates.

He sees you plagued by the old wound that comes back to haunt you—the fear of abandonment. You are forced to face it as the Inquisitor teases you constantly, and may even imply something about your origins: if you had the Force, how could your parents fail to use it to prevent their deaths?

You try to save your Master, but the Inquisitor manages to kill him, much to your despair and powerlessness. You are then brought to the ship with the crew you are so fond of and they are all pitying you and underestimating you.

However, when the Inquisitor presses you against the wall, you look right into his eyes and say confidently:

“I am not scared of you.”

Something about witnessing this moment makes Vader smile to himself. When he sees you leaving the ancient temple with your master by your side, he hesitates.

And you feel his presence. Vader knows you do. Your eyes seem to find him, the man underneath a vine cape, whose features are omitted by the hood. The male sees you furrowing your brows, confused and alert at the same time.

However, by the time you try to get your Master’s attention, he is gone.

***

Your POV.

“I finally have a saber to myself.” You tell your friends after you spent three hours using the crystal you found at the ancient jedi temple to forge a new lightsaber.

“Now she will not stop talking about it all day.” Sabine sighs.

“Oh please, shut up. You are just jealous.” You smirk at her.

“Well this looks good, Y/N.” Kanan tells you with a hint of pride that makes you beam. “Nice work. Now, let us put it to use, shall we?”

After some trouble in the planet Y/C with two new inquisitors, you are now in the air again. Hera is piloting it in the atmosphere of Hoth, and without some mission to be assigned, Kanan decides it’s time to sharp your Jedi skills.

So there you are: Kanan, Sabine, Zeb, C1-10P and you.

“When I say 1…2…3, now go!”

The droid starts throwing things at you and your whole point is to either deviate from the objects or defend yourself from these with your saber. The first attempts are terrible and you are frustrated.

“You are not concentrating enough, Y/N.” Kanan tells you. “Come on, try again.”

“They are not helping.” You frown at Zeb. “Would you PLEASE stop laughing at me?!”

Zeb and Sabine only roar in laughters as you disastrously try to defend yourself from C1-P10’s teasings.

“In the real world there’ll be distractions.” So you are told. “Carry on, Y/N. Put some effort and concentrate.”

You are grumpy and unwilling to obey when a voice comes in the back of your mind: empty your thoughts, little one, and the concentration will be an easier task.

Had you not been under constant attack, you’d wonder where on earth did this voice come from. It is male, but does not strike to any you’ve known. When you see Kanan shaking his head at how helpless you are, you can tell immediately that it’s not his voice.

So whose is?

(To be continue)

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