#Great Salt Lake State

[tomorrowusa]

The Great Salt Lake is drying up and the Republican government of Utah is doing little to save it. They constantly cave to the usual groups: agricultural interests, mining, homeowners who like spacious lawns in an arid region, and big industry.

The largest saltwater lake in the western hemisphere has been steadily shrinking, as more and more water has been diverted away from the lake to irrigate farmland, feed industry and water lawns. A megadrought across the US south-west, accelerated by global heating, has hastened the lake’s demise. Unless dire action is taken, the lake could decline beyond recognition within five years, a report published early this year warned, exposing a dusty lakebed laced with arsenic, mercury, lead and other toxic substances.The resulting toxic dustbowl would be “one of the worst environmental disasters in modern US history”, the ecologist Ben Abbott of Brigham Young University told the Guardian earlier this year. Despite such warnings, officials have failed to take serious action, local groups said in their lawsuit, which was filed on Wednesday. “We are trying to avert disaster. We are trying to force the hand of state government to take serious action,” said Brian Moench of the Utah Physicians for a Healthy Environment, one of the groups suing state agencies. “Plaintiffs pray that this Court declare that the State of Utah has breached its trust duty to ensure water flows into the Great Salt Lake sufficient to maintain the Lake,” reads the lawsuit, which was brought by coalition that includes Earthjustice, the Utah Rivers Council, the Center for Biological Diversity and the Sierra Club, among others.

Political pressure has not been very effective in a state dominated by Republicans. The state's response is lukewarm at best. That's in addition to bizarre proposals.

The state’s Republican governor, Spencer Cox, has suspended new claims to water in the Great Salt Lake basin and appointed a commissioner to oversee response to the lake crisis. Last year, Utah’s legislature passed several conservation measures, including a $40m trust to support lake preservation projects. But Abbott and his colleagues, who authored a sobering report on the lake in January, found that those measures increased flows to the lake by just 100,000 acre feet in 2022. About 2.5m acre-feet a year of water will need to flow into the lake to bring it to a healthy level, the researchers estimated. That water will likely have to come at the expense of agriculture, which takes in about three-quarters of the water diverted away from the lake to grow mostly alfalfa and hay. Cities and mineral extraction operations each take up another 9% of diverted water. But wresting water away from agriculture is politically complicated. Officials have explored propositions to pay farmers to fallow land and use less water, though such proposals have yet to gain much tractions. Lawmakers have also offered up a series of out-of-the-box solutions – including cloud seeding, which uses chemicals to prompt more precipitation – or building a giant pipeline from the Pacific Ocean.

Seriously, a pipeline from the Pacific Ocean? This is a classic idiotic GOP way to deal with an environmental catastrophe which doesn't get to the root of the problem.

Already, the lake has lost 73% of its water and 60% of its surface area, and is becoming saltier, threatening native flies and brine shrimp. A diminished lake may be unable to support the more than 10 million migratory birds that stop over in the region. A white pelican colony recently abandoned a nesting site on the lake, potentially due to declining water levels. “In addition to the millions of people who live here, so many plants and animals depend on the lake,” said Deeda Seed, Utah campaigner at the Center for Biological Diversity. “The health of northern Utah’s entire population depends on the Great Salt Lake’s survival and I hope this lawsuit can help save it.”

^^^ emphasis added

Yep, take their asses to court to save the body of water which gave the state's largest city its name.

[googlestreetviewz]

Antelope Island Rd

[rabbitcruiser]

The Lucin Cutoff, a 102-mile (164 km) railroad line in Utah, was opened on March 8, 1904.  

[patrick-jennings]

Wonder in the Little Things

In the midst Of expansive glory She finds wonder In the smallest Little things It is that smallest Little thing About her I love Most

In the midst Of expansive glory She finds wonder In the smallest Little things It is that smallest Little thing About her I love Most (more…)

[theknitpotato]

The Great Salt Lake in Utah, United States.

Fun fact: The Great Salt Lake has a railroad causeway that separates the lake into two bodies of water.

The blue side is mixed with fresh water from three different rivers, so its salt levels are much lower than the pink side.

The pink side has almost 10 times the salt concentration of the ocean and is home to salt-loving organisms that give the water it’s pink hue

@giveusthisdane

[basedhighsenberg]

99% of climate activists have absolutely no good point of reference for their personal experiences with how the climate has changed in their life. They watch videos of weather patterns happening miles away on their screens from their sterile urban apartments they hardly ever leave, and are so sure the climate has rapidly changed because they only experience it in depth once every 5 years and don't understand the normal climactic patterns for the area they live in.

In 2022 my state of Utah- a desert state, was in a terrible drought. Everyone was so sure it was evidence of climate change and celebrities were pointing fingers at the conservative state government for not doing more to "fight climate change" and help fix the problem before the Great Salt Lake "dried up".

In in the winter of 2022/2023 my state had the heaviest snowfall ever recorded since the state was founded in 1896, and in 2023 it has one of the wettest summers on record. Throughout all of 2023 and 2024 so far not a single bit of the state has been in a drought. The Great Salt Lake went back to its peak water level, and all the climate doomsday proselytizers pointing at Utah suddenly vanished.

This is perfectly normal for the climate in which I live. A desert climate that has periods of excessive dry and excessive wet, had a longer than normal dry spell that was followed up by a wetter than normal winter/summer? Makes perfect fucking sense if you're not a fucking moron who never goes outside.

[floridaboiler]

Things You Probably Never Knew About The Great Lakes.....

1. Lake Superior is actually not a lake at all, but an inland sea .

2. All of the four other Great Lakes, plus three more the size of Lake Erie, would  fit inside of Lake Superior.

3. Isle Royale is a massive island surrounded by Lake Superior. Within this island are several smaller lakes. Yes, that’s a lake on a lake.

4. Despite its massive size, Lake Superior is an  extremely young   formation by Earth’s standards (only 10,000 years old).

5. There is enough water in Lake Superior to  submerge all of North and South America in 1 foot of water.

6. Lake Superior contains 3 quadrillion gallons of water (3,000,000,000,000,000). All five of the Great Lakes combined contain 6 quadrillion gallons.

7. Contained within Lake Superior is a whopping 10% of the world’s fresh surface water.

8. It’s estimated there are about 100 million lake trout   in Lake Superior. That’s nearly one-fifth of the human population of North America!

9. There are small outlets through which water leaves Lake Superior. It takes two centuries for all the water in the lake to replace itself.

10. Lake Erie is the fourth-largest Great Lake in surface area, and the smallest in depth. It’s the 11th largest lake on the planet.

11. There is alleged to be a 30- to 40-foot-long “monster” in Lake Erie named Bessie. The earliest recorded sighting goes back as early as 1793.

12. Water in Lake Erie replaces itself   in only 2.6 years, which is notable considering the water in Lake Superior takes two centuries.

13. The original publication of Dr. Seuss’s The Lorax contained the line, “I hear things are just as bad up in Lake Erie.”Fourteen years later, the Ohio Sea Grant Program wrote to Seuss to make the case that conditions had improved. He removed the line.

14. Not only is lake Erie the smallest Great Lake when it comes to volume, but it’s surrounded by the most industry.Seventeen metropolitan areas, each with populations of more than 50,000, border the Lake Erie basin.

15. During the War of 1812, the U.S. beat the British in a naval battle calledthe Battle of Lake Erie, forcing them to abandon Detroit.

16. The shoreline of all the Great Lakes combined equals nearly 44% of the  circumference  of the planet.

17. If not for the the Straits of Mackinac, Lake Michigan and Lake Huron might be considered one lake.Hydrologically speaking, they have the same mean water level and are considered one lake.

18. The Keystone State  was one of the largest and most luxurious wooden steamships running during the Civil War.In 1861, it disappeared. In 2013, it was found 30 miles northeast of Harrisville under 175 feet of water.

19. Goderich Mine is the largest salt mine in the world. Part of it runs underneath Lake Huron, more than 500 meters underground.

20. Below Lake Huron, there are  9,000-year-old animal-herding structures   used by prehistoric people from when the water levels were significantly lower.

21. There are  massive sinkholes in Lake Huron that have high amounts of sulfur and low amounts of oxygen, almost replicating the conditions of Earth’s ancient oceans 3 million years ago. Unique ecosystems are contained within them.

22. Lake Huron is the second largest among the Great Lakes, and the  fifth largest in the world.

23.  In size, Lake Michigan ranks third among the Great Lakes, and sixth among all freshwater lakes in the world.

24. Lake Michigan is the only Great Lake that is entirely within the borders of the United States.

25. The largest fresh water sand dunes in the world line the shores of Lake Michigan.

26. Because water enters and exits Lake Michigan through the same path, it takes 77 years longer for the water to replace itself   than in Huron, despite their similarity in size and depth. (Lake Michigan: 99 years, Lake Huron: 22 years)

27. When the temperature of Lake Michigan is below freezing, this happens.

28. Within Lake Michigan there is a “triangle” with a similar reputation to the Bermuda Triangle, where a large amount of “strange disappearances” have occurred. There have also been alleged UFO sightings.

29. Singapore, Mich., is a ghost town on the shores of Lake Michigan that was buried under sand in 1871. Because of severe weather conditions and a lack of resources due to the need to rebuild after the great Chicago fire, the town was lost completely.

30. In the mid-19th century, Lake Michigan had a pirate problem. Their booty: timber. In fact, the demise of Singapore is due in large part to the rapidly deforested area surrounding the town.

31. Jim Dreyer  swam across Lake Michigan in 1998 (65 miles), and then in 2003, he swam the length of Lake Michigan (422 miles).

32. Lake Michigan was the location of the first recorded “Big Great Lakes disaster,” in which a steamer carrying 600 people collided with a schooner delivering timber to Chicago. Four hundred and fifty people died.

33. Lake Ontario is the smallest of the Great Lakes in surface area, and second smallest in depth. It’s the  14th largest lake   on the planet.

34. The province Ontario was  named after   the lake, and not vice versa.

35. In 1804, a Canadian warship, His Majesty’s Ship Speedy, sank in Lake Ontario. In 1990, wreck hunter Ed Burtt managed to find it.  Only, he isn’t allowed to recover any artifacts until a government-approved site to exhibit them is found. He’s still waiting.

36. Babe Ruth hit his  first major league home run   at Hanlan’s Point Stadium in Toronto. It landed in Lake Ontario and is believed to still be there.

37. A lake on Saturn’s moon Titan is named after Lake Ontario.

[immaculatelyamiss]

Storm over Great Salt Lake

Antelope Island State Park

[rjzimmerman]

The Great Salt Lake isn’t just drying out. It’s warming the planet. (Washington Post)

Like some dystopian astronaut, Melissa Cobo would hike the searing flats of the dried-out Great Salt Lake every couple of weeks, hauling a heavy backpack attached by a hose to what looked like the lid of a cake dome. What remained of the lake often seemed out of reach as she struggled through hot mud, clay and a weird crystalline layer that broke with her footsteps onto a greenish muck.

“You see the water, but you never actually get to it, no matter how many hours you walk,” Cobo said.

Through these grueling treks, Cobo, then a Utah State University graduate student, and her adviser, Soren Brothers, discovered more disturbing evidence that dried-out lakes are a significant source of carbon dioxide emissions — one that has not been included in the official accounting of how much carbon the world is releasing into the warming atmosphere.

In a new study in the journal One Earth, the researchers calculated that 4.1 million tons of carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases were released from the drying bed of the Great Salt Lake in 2020, the year Cobo and others collected the samples. This would amount to about a 7 percent increase in Utah’s human-caused emissions, the authors found.

While other researchers have documented carbon emissions from dried-out lakes — including the Aral Sea in Central Asia — Brothers said that his study tried to calculate what part of the emissions from this major saline lake could be attributed to humans, as the Great Salt Lake has been drawn down for human use, a decline worsened by climate change and the West’s megadrought of the past two decades.

“This is the first time we’re saying, ‘This is something that’s on us,’” said Brothers, now a climate change curator with the Royal Ontario Museum.

[vestaignis]

Каинды - 400 метровое озеро в Казахстане, в долине Тянь-Шаня, в 129 км от города Алматы. Оно расположено среди хвойного леса на высоте 1667 метров над уровнем моря. Озеро Каинды образовалось после землетрясения 1911 года, которое вызвало большой оползень, заблокировавший одно из ущелий горного хребта Кунгей Алатау, образовав естественную плотину. Впоследствии, дождевая вода заполнила долину и наполнила озеро.

Озеро славится своей красотой подводного леса. Макушки самых высоких деревьев поднимаются прямо из воды. Средняя глубина составляет 20 метров, а в некоторых местах доходит до 30 метров. Вода в озере настолько холодная (даже летом температура воды не превышает 6 градусов), что могучие сосны по-прежнему остаются полузамороженными на своих местах, даже 100 лет спустя. Благодаря чистой горной воде, можно увидеть глубины озера. Вода в озере пресная, практически не содержит растворенных солей и идентична той воде, которая подвергается многоуровневой очистке в лаборатории.Зимой поверхность озера замерзает и становится прекрасным местом для ловли форели и подлёдного дайвинга.

Этот природный объект внесён в список особо охраняемых природных территорий со статусом природоохранного и научного учреждения, а также входит в Государственный национальный природный парк "Кольсайские озёра".

Kaindy is a 400-meter lake in Kazakhstan, in the Tien Shan Valley, 129 km from the city of Almaty. It is located among a coniferous forest at an altitude of 1667 meters above sea level. Kaindy Lake was formed after the earthquake of 1911, which caused a large landslide that blocked one of the gorges of the Kungei Alatau mountain range, forming a natural dam. Subsequently, rainwater filled the valley and filled the lake.

The lake is famous for its underwater forest beauty. The tops of the tallest trees rise straight out of the water. The average depth is 20 meters, and in some places it reaches up to 30 meters. The water in the lake is so cold (even in summer the water temperature does not exceed 6 degrees) that the mighty pines still remain semi-frozen in their places, even 100 years later. Thanks to the clear mountain water, you can see the depths of the lake. The water in the lake is fresh, contains practically no dissolved salts and is identical to the water that is subjected to multi-level purification in the laboratory.In winter, the surface of the lake freezes and becomes a great place for trout fishing and ice diving.

This natural object is included in the list of specially protected natural territories with the status of an environmental and scientific institution, and is also included in the Kolsai Lakes State National Natural Park.

Источник://discoverynn.ru/blog/kazakhstan/ozero-kaindy-neobychnaya-dostoprimechatelnost-na-yuge-kazakhstana/ , ://newtimes.kz/obshchestvo/155196-podvodnyj-les-ozera-kaindy-udivil-kazahstancev,//tourlenta.com/blog/316-podvodnij-les-na-ozere-kaindi,m.vk.com/wall-222521402_9950,//www.stena.ee /blog /zatoplennyj-les-odno-iz-samyh-krasivyh-mest-kazahstana,//dzen.ru /a/ZOZQ8LxcWxUAPkQe,aveneerdmc.com/ru/inspiration/kaindy.

[kas-e]

Western Drama.

Previously unreleased shots that I hold near and dear to my heart. This is a pair of my absolute favorite photographs that I shot in the Great American West, in particular, in north and central Utah. The first was shot at the start of a road trip, I believe this was taken between Salt Lake and Ogden. I noticed the scene while driving and couldn't resist pulling over to get some shots. Still one of my most memorable moments.

The second was also on the road, this time I was rolling south through central Utah on the way to the canyons. This shelf cloud started to form, and before long a rainbow started to just barely peak over the horizon. An unforgettable sky, and scene, to say the least.

Both of these photographs are featured in my book "Solitude", which I hope to find a publisher for and release a printing of in the future. If not, then they will simply live in the one copy that I have at my home.

Copywritten under R.M.DeLuca for Enkased photography. All rights reserved on these, and on all of the photographs posted on my feed.

All of these photographs on the feed are my original work, unless otherwise stated, which is very rare.

[googlestreetviewz]

East Side Rd

[rabbitcruiser]

Utah is admitted as the 45th U.S. state on January 4, 1896.

[is-the-owl-video-cute]

Going to be honest, the more I see of “Oaky the Owl” and “meandmyowl” (same person) the more I’m convinced Leslie does not have this bird legally.

So since she’s located in north Salt Lake City, Utah you can use this page to submit an anonymous tip.

What’s not legal about what she’s doing? Well for starters, on her website she has a merch page. Not only that, but she also accepts a lot of donations and such during live streams and allows fans to pay her to bring the owl and give presentations about surviving near death experiences or the healing power of crystals, not just conservation or falconry.

Which is a bit of a problem due to, well, let’s see, she claims the owl is held on a falconry permit, right? And it’s a great horned owl, meaning it’s a species protected by the migratory bird treaty act. So what does that mean? It means she’s meant to comply with regulations from Utah's falconry regulations, AND the migratory bird treaty act’s federal regulation.

Alright, so what do those documents say about that exactly? Let’s start off with the Utah falconry regulations first, linked here if you’d like to read the entire document.

Article R657-20-28 subsection 5c clearly states that a raptor possessed under a falconry permit cannot be used in advertising or for commercial profit. The only profit a raptor held for falconry may garner would be if the bird is being used to promote conservation, biology, or falconry in some way. The gist of this is that you can use a falconry bird to, say, star in a documentary about falconry or the ecology of that species. You can have a gyrfalcon pose modeling a hood or jesses you are selling. You CANNOT use a falconry bird to sell phone cases or other merch for personal profit unrelated to the sport of falconry. Note as well that a falconer cannot be compensated for allowing their bird to star in a for-profit film, even when that film is about ecology or conservation.

Subsection 4e-4h vs. what is advertised on her page. Using the owl for any of the first four subjects is in violation of R657-20-28. The pricing she charges for these talks is not stated on her webpage and is only revealed if you email her an inquiry, meaning it’s a bit hard to say whether she is charging more than what would pay for the program, but honestly you can guarantee she is since she clearly has no interest in ethics or honesty in using this owl. Worth noting as well is that she allegedly claimed on a livestream that she does not hunt with the owl because she’s “an animal lover” which would also violate subsection 4e as the bird is NOT primarily used in falconry, because by her own words she has stated that the owl is not used for falconry in any sense.

You can read the full section on falconry in the migratory bird treaty act’s federal regulations regarding the sport here, but it’s almost identical to the rules further regulated by Utah’s state government.

TL;DR: you cannot lawfully use a great horned owl possessed by falconry permit to sell personal merch, draw people to your spiritual talks, monetize livestreams, or profit in any way. And you should use the link above to report this as this person is just keeping an owl as a pet to exploit for financial gain and fame. This breaks state and federal law and there must be consequences to harmful behavior such as this.

Edit: apparently this is her name.

That’s not her home address, it’s a PO Box which she has public so people can send her gifts so I’m not censoring it. Please include her last name in all future reports.

[joehills]

It’s easy to forget how young a lot of the United States is.

Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2024/05/16/climate/great-salt-lake-water-levels.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare&sgrp=c-cb

[wannabehockeygf]

loml - clayton keller

“You lowdown boy,

You standup guy,

Holy Ghost, you told me I’m

The love of your life.”

summary: when clayton finds out he has to move to utah, something snaps.

word count: 2.9k

pairing: toxic ? ck9 x fem!reader

warnings: some slight manipulation, gaslighting

notes:

this may or not make you extremely upset!

in my massive crush on clayton keller era!

^ happy early birthday king

i’ve also been craving writing some angst and something extremely tragic

self insert because this is how i would react if i was forced to move to utah

^ no offense... it just seems like Alberta but worse.

this is also something i might write a sequel for, so lmk if you’d want that

or send me a request for a different trope with him while I’m still on this kick

I’d also like to dedicate this to the word “fuck” because I used it way too much.

gif creds - imgonnaeditstuff

his hair... hair of all time. absolutely beautiful kells pls never cut it. ***

“Fuck!”

“Oh no, oh fuck no no! Fucking hell no!” Your boyfriend exclaims from outside, causing you to drop the knife you were using to chop some garlic and run out to the pool area, where you knew he was.

His bare back faces you, muscles tensing as he faces out toward the fence, his feet dangling in the water. He holds his phone up to his ear, running a hand through his wet hair as you approach him, “Clay, are you okay? What happened?” You urge him, crouching down so he’s able to see you. 

Clayton’s expression is a scowl, furrowing his brows as he stares out into the distance in pure disbelief. His eyes don’t soften at all when he meets your gaze, instead waving you off, “Shhh, shut the fuck up for a second.” He hisses, his eyes zeroing back in on nothing in particular.

You’re in a state of disbelief because one, why is he talking to you like that? You haven’t done anything much to probe him, and two, what’s going on for him to be talking to you like that? 

You purse your lips, taking a deep breath as you listen to his demand and stand back up. “Yeah, okay. I’ll talk to you later.” Clayton murmurs, setting down his phone on the damp concrete beside him. He immediately facepalms, running his hands through his hair once again, followed by him balling his hand into a fist and hitting it against the ground on the other side of him. “Fuck!”

“You wanna tell me what’s going on now?” You say, crossing your arms. Clayton turns his head, and rolls his eyes at you, pondering his thoughts for a few moments before letting out an extended groan and turning his head back. “It’s fucking happening, babe, I’m moving to fuckin’ Utah.”

Oh. Oh. When he first heard of the possibility of the Coyotes being moved and told you, you both laughed. How could you not? It was such a ridiculous concept — moving from a great hockey market when they’d inevitably get a new arena soon, right? They wouldn’t be doomed to play at Arizona State forever.

Well, it turns out that the new arena management was thinking, was the Delta Center. In Salt Lake City. 

And that was reality right now.

You watch as Clayton’s chest heaves, his breaths shallow and rapid. The late afternoon sun casts long shadows over the pool area, its rays glinting off the surface of the water, creating a fragmented reflection of his tense form.

The tension in the air is palpable, almost suffocating. You can feel the rough concrete beneath your bare feet, tiny grains digging into your skin, grounding you in his moment of disbelief and anger. "Utah," you repeat, the word feeling foreign on your tongue. "You’re moving to Utah."

Clayton doesn't turn to face you. His gaze is fixed on some indeterminate point beyond the fence, as if staring hard enough might change the reality unfolding before him. His jaw is set, his muscles rippled under the strain of his frustration, body taut like a bowstring ready to snap. The deep tan of his skin is darker from the time he'd spent outdoors, contrasting sharply with the red flush of anger now rising up his neck. You watch as a bead of sweat traces a slow path down his temple, disappearing into the damp mess of his hair.

He finally turns to face you, and you saw the anger simmering in his eyes. “Me? I’m moving? You mean us?” He questions, his voice ever so shaky underneath the suppressed rage you’re sure he’s feeling.

The silence stretches between you, a taut line ready to snap. The gentle rustling of palm leaves, the distant hum of traffic, and the rhythmic lapping of water against the pool’s edge do little to soften the edges of your growing anxiety. The world around you remains indifferent, carrying on as if nothing has changed, while your reality shifts on its axis.

“Clayton,” you finally say, your voice barely more than a whisper, yet it feels like it shatters the stillness. “You know I can’t just go with you. We have to talk about this.”

Clayton's eyes narrow, his jaw tightening as your words sink in. The muscles in his neck flex, veins prominent against his sun-kissed skin. He stands abruptly, the force sending ripples through the pool, and begins to pace along the edge, his footsteps echoing the tension between you. The sharp scent of chlorine mingles with the earthy aroma of freshly cut grass, creating a heady, disorienting mix.

He paces back and forth, his breaths coming out in harsh bursts. Each step he takes feels like a statement, a physical manifestation of the turmoil inside him. You watch him, arms still crossed, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Clayton,” you begin, but he cuts you off with a harsh laugh, the sound devoid of humor. It’s a laugh that slices through the air, making your skin prickle.

“You know what?” he says, his voice low and shaky. “I should have seen this coming. Should’ve known you’d find a reason not to come with me.” His words are like daggers, each one striking a different nerve.

You inhale sharply, the scent of chlorine mingling in a way that turns your stomach. “That’s not fair, and you know it,” you say, trying to keep your voice steady. “We’ve built a life here, my job, our friends...”

“Our friends?” he interrupts, eyes flashing. “Or is it just your life you’re worried about? Your job, your comfort zone? What about me? This is my career, my dream. Don’t you understand that?”

You flinch as his words hit home, each one a reminder of the predicament. The sun dips lower, casting long shadows that stretch like fingers across the pool area, adding a surreal quality to the argument. You can feel the sweat on your back, sticking your shirt to your skin, the heat of the day not helping the heat of the moment. “I do understand, but this affects us both!” you counter, your voice rising with your frustration. “You’re asking me to uproot my entire life without even considering how I feel about it.”

He stops pacing, his back to you, and for a moment, you think he might ignore you. But then he turns slowly, his eyes meeting yours. They're dark, intense, filled with a blend of anger and hurt that cuts through you like a knife. “I’m not asking, I’m telling you. I need you with me. Isn’t that what people who love each other do? They make sacrifices?”

The word “sacrifices” hangs heavily in the air, a bitter reminder of what’s at stake. Your throat tightens, and you struggle to find the words for a moment. The world around you feels distant, the neighborhood sounds muted as if submerged underwater.

“Sacrifices go both ways,” you finally manage to say, your voice breaking. “I’ve supported you through everything, but I have dreams too, Clay. And they fucking matter, even if they aren’t wrapped up in a hockey jersey.”

Clayton paces again, his movements jerky and erratic, like a caged animal searching for an escape. His breath comes in ragged bursts, each exhale a testament to the struggle raging within him. He stops suddenly, his eyes locking onto yours with a fierce intensity, the lines of his face etched deep with frustration and pain. “You’re making this about you,” he spits out, his voice low but charged with a raw, electric energy. “You’re being so fucking dramatic, self centred and so focused on your little world that you can’t see past it.”

The accusation hits you like a physical blow, the force of it driving the air from your lungs. The taste of salt lingers on your lips, a remnant of the tears you refuse to let fall. Your heart pounds a frantic rhythm, each beat a desperate plea for understanding, for reconciliation. The silence stretches taut between you, a fragile thread that could snap at any moment.

You swallow hard, the lump in your throat making it difficult to breathe. The world around you seems to blur, the colors of the sunset merging into a hazy smear. It’s as if you’re standing on the edge of a cliff, the ground crumbling beneath your feet, and you’re desperately trying to grasp onto something, anything, to stop the fall.

But the only thing falling is your tears.

As the tears spill over, Clayton’s expression shifts, a flicker of regret flashing across his features. He steps closer, reaching out as if to wipe them away, but then hesitates, his hand hovering in the space between you. The distance feels both vast and minuscule, a chasm created by his words, yet easily bridged by a single step.

“Baby, please don’t cry,” he finally mutters, his voice cracking as he takes the step, pulling you into his chest, “I didn’t mean that, I swear.”

You bury your face in his bare chest for a moment, feeling the dampness of his skin and the faint, comforting scent of his cologne. But just as quickly, you rip yourself away to meet his gaze, the tears flowing freely now, “No—fuck, you can’t do this.” You snap.

Clayton's eyes widen, caught off guard by the sudden force of your words. He takes a step back, his hands dropping to his sides, fingers twitching as if they want to reach out but don’t know how. The tension in his face eases slightly, replaced by a mix of confusion and frustration. He opens his mouth, struggling to find the right words, but you cut him off, your voice steady despite the tears.

"You can't just say things like that and then try to take them back," you continue, your voice growing stronger. "You can't just make me feel like I'm being selfish when all I've done is support you. 

“You know I didn’t mean it, babe,” he replies, his voice barely above a whisper, a heavy sense of desperation in it. His eyes search yours, trying to understand the depth of your pain. “I’m just trying to keep us together. Isn’t that what you want? You’re the love of my life. That’s what you want me to say, right? I’ll say it a million times over for you.”

Your voice, though shaky, carries a steely resolve as you look Clayton square in the eyes. "Clay, love isn't about... this. It's about finding a way to support each other, even when it's hard. This—" you gesture to the space between you, "—this isn't support. It's an ultimatum. I could be the love of your life, but you could be the loss of mine.”

Clayton's face contorts, multiple emotions running past him. He runs a hand through his hair again, a gesture that now seems more like an attempt to ground himself in the midst of this emotional whirlwind. "I'm not giving you an ultimatum," he protests, but the crack in his voice betrays the doubt seeping into his own words. "I'm just... fuck, I don’t want to lose you. I can't lose you."

You stand there, looking at him, heart breaking at the sight of his desperation. Despite the hurt, you can't ignore the sincerity in his eyes. But you also can't ignore the heavy weight of his words, the impossible choice he's forcing on you. Every fiber of your being wants to hold on, but you know deep down, that holding on might just tear you both apart.

Without a word, you turn and walk away, each step feeling heavier than the last. You can taste the salt of your tears as you make your way back into the house, his house, the backyard fading behind you. You can hear Clayton calling your name, but you don't stop. You can't. Not this time.

***

With nowhere else to go, you find yourself in Clayton’s bed that night without having finished cooking dinner or talking to him since he got the phone call. 

You couldn’t even imagine eating. Or looking at his face, nonetheless. When the door creaked open, you knew it was inevitable, but that didn’t mean you couldn’t try to ignore him.

Clayton enters the room, the dim light casting shadows on his tired face. He moves quietly, almost hesitantly, as if unsure of his place in the space he once considered safe. The bed creaks softly as he sits on the edge, and he reaches out, his hand trembling slightly, and gently touches your shoulder. The contact is soft, tentative, like he's afraid you'll pull away.

"Baby," he whispers, his voice raspy. "Please, can we talk?"

You don’t respond, your body curled up under the covers, facing away from him as you try to blink away tears that blur your vision. The silence stretches out, a noticeable barrier between you. Clayton shifts closer, lying down beside you, his warmth seeping through the sheets. He wraps an arm around your waist, pulling you gently into him. The familiarity of his touch is both comforting and painful, a reminder of what you stand to lose, which causes you to jerk away.

"Please, just let me hold you," he murmurs, his breath warm against your neck. "I want to be close to you, to know you’re still here with me."

Clayton’s always been a touchy guy, whether that be just wanting to cuddle or… other things, and today was no different. It was always the same thing, you’d argue, and he’d leave you alone for a few hours, only to come back and apologize, proclaim his love, and kiss it better.

Rinse, repeat.

You feel a lump forming in your throat, tears threatening to spill over once more. Part of you is intoxicated by the way he fits against you and wants to turn around, to bury your face in his chest, and let him hold you, to forget about the argument and the pain, if only for a little while. But another part of you, the part that still stings from his words, his actions, resists. It's a tug-of-war between your heart and your head, between the love you feel for him and the hurt he caused. The hurt he seems to keep causing.

"Please," he repeats, his voice barely more than a whisper, "Don’t shut me out, I need you. I need to feel you against me, love."

You take a deep breath, the ache in your chest expanding with each inhalation. The tension in your body slowly starts to melt away as you allow yourself to lean back into his embrace. Clayton pulls you closer, his grip firm but gentle, his breath warm against the back of your neck. “That’s it, pretty baby,” he mumbles. 

Clayton tightens his grip, his arms wrapping around you protectively, as if trying to shield you both from the harsh realities outside this small cocoon. Like he always used to say, he’d be your protector.

As if he wasn’t the one who caused all the hurt in the first place. 

He shoves his face into your hair, inhaling deeply as if to anchor you, your scent to memory, and you feel the tremor in his breath. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice cracking. "I'm so fucking sorry for everything I said earlier. I know I've been a dick. I know I've hurt you, but I can't stand the thought of losing you. You're everything to me.”

His words are a balm to the raw wound in your heart, but they also bring a fresh wave of tears. You want to believe him, to listen to that other side of you, and let go of the pain and anger, but the memory of his past blatant gaslighting lingers, a constant dark shadow over the love you share. You close your eyes, trying to steady your breathing, but the tears slip out anyway, wetting the pillow beneath your cheek. You don't turn to face him, but your hand reaches up, finding his where it rests on your waist. Your fingers intertwine with his, a small but significant gesture that says more than words could.

Sensing your distress, Clayton tightens his hold on you, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder as he squeezes your hand. "I love you," he murmurs, his voice barely audible. "I love you so much. Please don’t cry, baby. I can't stand it when you cry."

"Clay," you begin, your voice choked from the tears. "This isn't fair."

Clayton exhales a shaky breath, and you feel the tension in his body ease just a little. He shifts closer, his front pressed firmly against your back, as he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck. His arm tightens his grip around your waist as if by sheer force he can keep the world from pulling you apart. "I know it’s not. I'm so fucking scared," he confesses, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Scared of leaving, scared of what this means for us. I don't want to go to Utah without you. I don't want to go anywhere without you. We can talk to my agent, figure out if there's any flexibility, anything. I just... I don't want to lose you, not like this.”

Clayton’s desperate confession hangs in the air, heavy with raw emotion. The words feel like a fragile lifeline, a tentative reach across the chasm that's opened between you. You squeeze your eyes shut once again, letting his warmth envelop you, and for a moment, it’s as if the world outside doesn't exist.

It’s just you and him, and you don't even know if you can call him the love of your life anymore. All you know is that you'll always mourn how your relationship used to be — and how no matter what, you'll always end up back in his bed, tangled up in his sheets with him, in a web of pain.

A fucked-up love affair.