#Grimlock Ferocious King

[haaaaaaaaaaaave-you-met-ted]

Grimlock, Ferocious King (HasCon 2017) by Tyler Jacobson

[transform-or-treat]

Treat from Anonymous!

Treat for @synthesizeher!  Your gifter wanted to remain anonymous but they really hope you enjoy this!

Prompt: "G1 Dinobots and the Technobots, Halloween Fun, Grimlock tries to take the Technobots out for their first trick or treat, cue disastrous costumes and jumpscares and candy trading" for @synthesizeher on Tumblr.

"They're asleep," Grimlock said, coming to sit beside his conjunx. Misfire sighed and draped himself across the Dinobot's lap, wings twitching with exhaustion. Grimlock rumbled in amusement and started rubbing his back. "I've been thinking…," he said softly. "Mhm?" Misfire asked, optics closed in bliss, giving him however much time he needed to order his words. "I want them to have more Earth culture. I am from there." "Did you have anything specific in mind?" Grimlock tilted his head, considering. "There are so many festivals." "You could ask the Witwickys." Grimlock grinned behind his mask and leaned down to nuzzle the back of his conjunx' neck. "You have the best ideas." "Halloween!" Daniel cheered. "I'm going to be Lance from Voltron." Grimlock made an inquisitive noise. "Halloween is when you dress up as other people and go knock on people's doors and ask for candy by saying 'trick or treat!'," Daniel explained, grinning. "The better your costume, the more candy you get." Lightspeed shared an excited look with Afterburner. "I call Buzz Lightyear!" Wheeljack laughed and stood from the seat where he had been lounging. "Guess I'll be dusting off the old tools of the trade." "You don't have to do that, Ri," Grimlock protested. Misfire nodded. "We'll just use temp paint." Wheeljack spluttered. "Nonsense! You have to really get into the spirit of the holiday! Alright, kiddos, give me your requests!" The Technobots all started babbling over each other in excitement. Very carefully, Scattershot approached his grandcreator and tugged on his arm. Wheeljack leaned down, tilting his audial as the Technobot leader whispered. His optics crinkled at the corners as he grinned. "You got it, kiddo." "Okay, hold still," Wheeljack said, as he carefully pinned the steel wool he had lovingly spun and woven into the kind of fabric Cybertron hadn't seen since the Golden Age. "How come you know all this stuff?" Nosecone asked, staying indeed extremely still. "I used to live on a cybersheep farm," Wheeljack said, his fins flashing cheerfully. "It was my great-great-great-grandsire's farm. We had sheep and zap-ponies and mineral fields and an energon distillery." "Can you teach me?" "Maybe. I don't know, I still like science better. But I am the only one who still knows this stuff, as far as I'm aware, so I probably should pass it on." "It's okay," Nosecone said. "You don't have to decide right now." Wheeljack chuckled and patted his hand. "I appreciate that, kiddo. Alright," he said, rocking back, "that ought to do it. Just gotta get it all sewn together, and then all the costumes are ready." Nosecone grinned as Wheeljack helped him out of his costume. "Did you get to make the visor?" "Yep, but no lasers, okay? It's a safety risk." Nosecone nodded solemnly. "I understand." Grimlock chuckled as he watched his creations file out of Wheeljack's back room. Lightspeed zoomed out the door, shouting "To infinity - and beyond!" Strafe followed at a slightly more sedate speed, but that was due to the long "mustache" that reached almost to his feet and the giant oversized hat that was nearly as tall as he was than anything else. He swung toy pistols from his hips. "Pew, pew, pew! I'm the fastest gun north, south, east, and west of Ibex! Pew, pew!" Grimlock smiled and nudged Misfire over their bond. He's a better shot than you. Misfire collapsed into giggles, losing it even more as a suction cupped foam dart hit him between the optics. Strafe grinned sheepishly. "Oops." "Raaaarrrr!" Afterburner screeched, jumping out, completely enclosed in some kind of monster costume. "Radiation breath! Radiation breath!" Grimlock laughed. "See, I told you the radiation breath could be invisible and still work!" Nosecone called, adjusting the yellow sash over his blue jumpsuit. "I don't have any eye lasers cause that would be a safety risk." Misfire and Grimlock nodded solemnly, then waited for Scattershot to make his appearance. There was a crash from the workshop. "Everything alright?" Grimlock shouted. "Fine!" Wheeljack called back. "Just forgot a very important costume element!" Another few minutes passed, and then Scattershot burst out of the door, dressed in silver, red, and yellow, and waving an orange sword in the air. "Me Grimlock, King!" Grimlock's jaw nearly hit the floor, and Misfire's optics just about bulged out of his faceplates. Scattershot yelped as the Tyrannosaurus Rex head on top of his helm slid down, covering his vision. He pushed it back up and grinned sheepishly. "Do you like it?" Grimlock laughed and scooped his creation up into his arms. "I love it!" He looked up as his creator walked out, hands still covered in various shades of orange paint. "You did a good job, Ri. What do we say, sparklings?" "Thank you, Grand-carrier!" the Technobots chorused. "Are we ready to go trick or treating?" Grimlock asked. The excited yells that earned him were nearly deafening. They met the Witwickys outside the Earth embassy. "Here!" Daniel called, waving. "I made a list of everybody I know for sure will give us candy. We've got to get these guys first so we have something to snack on." Nosecone rushed over to review the list and come up with a plan of attack. "Are you ready for your first Halloween as parents?" Carly asked, eyes sparkling. Grimlock crouched down to greet her and made a non-committal hum. "As much as we can be." Carly laughed. "Sounds about right." "How long are we staying out for?" Misfire asked, putting a hand on Grimlock's back as he straightened. Spike shrugged. "A joor maybe? We want the kids to have fun but not get overtired. At the very least, we'll be able to hit everyone on Daniel's list. First I think is Rodimus." He raised his voice to carry over the sound of excited younglings. "Everyone ready to go?" A chorus of affirmatives rang out, and the party slowly moved down the broad street that ran in front of the embassy. They didn't head to the Primal Palace or the Senate Hall like most would to meet the Prime, instead with the privilege granted to them as friends, they strolled leisurely to a nondescript apartment in what was decidedly a middle-class neighborhood. Bluestreak answered the door and promptly fell over himself laughing. "Radiation breath!" Afterburner yelled, pointing at the giggling Praxian. "No!" Bluestreak yelled, clutching his spark. "Not radiation breath! I'm dying - I'm melting - tell Rodimus… I love him. Blergh!" Afterburner stared in shock, then glanced at his creators, completely out of his depth. "Trick - Trick or treat?" "A trick!" Bluestreak sat up with a shout and grabbed Afterburner, fingers diving for ticklish seams. The Technobot collapsed in fits of laughter, pouring sheer delight down the bond with his brothers. Rodimus stepped out into the doorway and laughed at what he found. "Alright, alright," he said, patting his Conjunx Potentia on the head. "Who wants candy?" He made quick work of passing out energon goodies, chocolate, and compliments on the children's costumes and then dragged Bluestreak back inside. "They're trying to have a baby," Daniel said when everyone looked confused at the normally affable Prime's hurry. "Rodimus told me cause he wants me to be an uncle." The parents exchanged knowing glances. "Oh," Scattershot said, as if that explained everything. "Well who's next on the list?" Ultra Magnus turned out to be next, peering out at the Technobots through a comically large door. He gave each sparkling precisely two goodies, and Daniel precisely two goodie-sized chocolate bars. "An excellent choice of costume," he congratulated Lightspeed and Nosecone. "Peacekeepers are always noteworthy." "Especially when they're corrupt," Misfire interjected, smiling saccharinely. "Then you have to watch them to make sure they don't hurt you or your friends." Ultra Magnus stared at him for a moment, then wisely chose not to engage any further. "As you say," he said, and then closed the door. "Why don't you hurry on ahead?" Grimlock asked, putting a hand on his conjunx' lower back. Carly nodded and she and Spike gathered the children together and started walking. Grimlock waited until they were out of sight before dragging him into an alley. "We will never let what happened to Cybertron before happen to our children," he promised. "You weren't there," Misfire snapped, attempting a rare dig at his partner's age. "Stop that," Grimlock chided him. "That doesn't mean I don't know it was wrong. It just means I don't know what it was like to live it." Misfire sighed and shuttered his optics, burying his face in Grimlock's chestplates. They caught up to the others just outside of Jazz and Prowl's hab, and the Technobots immediately swarmed Misfire with hugs. Grimlock eyed the walkway suspiciously, something off about the serene look to it - tall crystal trees and soft tingrass, a path made of Earthen bricks that cracked beneath Cybertronian feet. "Everything alright?" Spike asked. Grimlock huffed and shook his head. "Yes," he answered. But he couldn't help but be on edge as they walked up to the door. He did have to admit the brick was an effective early warning system. Out of curiosity, he started counting the number of footsteps he could hear, tapping out the number on his fingertips. One, two, three, five, seven, the humans made barely a sound but they were there, and eleven. Wait. He stopped, turned around, sword drawn. With a yell, Scattershot ran back and started attacking something with his own little sword, leaving streaks of orange paint on - "Argh! I have been vanquished by a ferocious beast!" Mirage's electrodisruptor cut out as he fell to the path, pretending at a mortal wound. Scattershot huffed and pushed up the slipping dinosaur head. "I'm not a ferocious beast! I'm sa! Afterburner's a ferocious beast!" "Radiation breath!" the sparkling in question screeched as he pounced on the former spy, followed quickly by the rest of his brothers. "What are you doing?" a voice called from the door. Mirage was too busy wrestling the sparklings to answer, so Misfire opened his mouth to step in. "It was my idea, Prowler." Misfire shrieked and turned around, unsubspacing a gun to shoot the enemy that had appeared out of thin air. True to form, he missed, the bolt being absorbed by a crystal instead. Prowl surveyed the disheveled party and sighed. "Well, come get your candy." The Technobots shouted with joy and quickly abandoned Mirage for the treats. Jazz reached down to help his former second to his feet and grinned. "You look good covered in younglings." Mirage smiled and put his haughty airs back on like a cloak, patting Jazz' cheek affectionately. "You're getting ahead of yourself, darling." The human adults stared open-mouthed as Mirage sauntered up to the door and greeted Prowl with a kiss before sashaying inside, then turned to Jazz for an explanation, much more shocked at the idea of him and Prowl and Mirage than the idea of three. Jazz simply grinned and shrugged. "Towers courting. What can you do?" "Look!" Lightspeed called, running up with a small toy car. "We get one of these, too!" "Did you say thank you?" Grimlock asked. Lightspeed darted back away to do exactly that. Jazz patted Misfire's arm sheepishly. "Sorry about the scare, man." Misfire did what any Scavenger in their right mind would do and bolted for the goodie bowl. Grimlock chuckled at his conjunx, glad to see he was back to himself. Kup was next on Daniel's list, and he laughed at Scattershot's costume, patting the dino head. "You're gonna grow up to be just like your creator, huh?" "I hope so!" Scattershot said, grabbing handfuls of goodies out of Kup's bowl. Grimlock beamed at his eldest and leaned down for helm pats from Kup for himself, sneaking a goodie or two for himself while he was at it. Springer and Arcee were last on the list, and the Amica pair were waiting out on the stoop of their townhouse, dressed up in costumes themselves, though not as well-made as the ones from Wheeljack. Springer leapt to his feet and pointed imperiously at Afterburner as they walked up. "There can be only one!" Afterburner gave a mighty battle cry, and then the two Godzillas were dueling for supremacy. Grimlock was pleased to notice Afterburner was winning. Arcee laughed as she bounded over, spinning so her skirts flared out. "Isn't this fun, Grim?" Grimlock beamed under his mask at his friend. "What's this?" he asked, pointing to the gauzy fabric. "Just some princess," Arcee said, waving her hand. "She routinely gets captured by a giant lizard, but Springer didn't want to be that giant lizard." She grinned. "She kicks aft in the PVP games, though." Grimlock nodded, not having a clue what she was on about. "Suits you." Misfire grinned at her, bowing playfully. "You do look excellent, m'lady." Arcee giggled. It was disturbingly similar to the slightly maniacal cackle she gave in the middle of combat. "Radiation breath!" Afterburner yelled at the very top of his volume threshold. Springer cried out in mock pain and fell to the ground, defeated. Afterburner put a foot on his back and put his arms up in victory. "I am the one true Godzilla-aaaaa!" Grimlock chuckled, but then gestured the Technobots nearer. "Last stop," he said, "get your candy and give Auntie hugs, and then it's time for bed." There was a chorus of disappointed groans. "That's okay, guys!" Daniel said. "We still get to do this again next year!" Mollified, the Technobots formed an orderly line for goodies and hugs from Arcee, and then trooped on home. "Can I keep my costume on?" Scattershot asked. "Me, too!" Afterburner piped up from where he was trading candy with Nosecone and Lightspeed. Strafe had already shucked off his giant mustache and was working on the boots. Grimlock and Misfire shared a look and then shrugged in unison. "Sure, why not?" Scattershot bounded over to wrap his arms around Grimlock's knees. "Love you." Grimlock smiled and squeezed his creation back before tapping him gently on the shoulder. "Two goodies and then time for recharge." The Technobots rushed to consume their chosen treats and finish up their trading, and then they filed orderly into berth, already pleasantly exhausted by the outing. Grimlock and Misfire each took an end of the row of berths and started giving last hugs and kisses of the night. Meeting back at the door, they looked back over their creations. Grimlock turned off the light and closed the door, and then he pulled his conjunx close for a kiss. "Thank you."

Costumes: Scattershot - Grimlock Strafe - Yosemite Sam Lightspeed - Buzz Lightyear Afterburner - Godzilla Nosecone - Cyclops (X-MEN) Arcee - Princess Peach Springer - Godzilla

[markrosewater]

Un-rules question: Does Grimlock, Autobot Leader // Ferocious King count as a Dinosaur to satisfy the Companion condition of Kaheera, the Orphanguard?

As long as either side of a double-faced creature is of one of the five creature types, the card as a whole meets Kaheera’s requirement.

[twitchesandstitches]

some ideas for Sakaar

planet hulk is on my mind, so have some Sakaar thoughts:

the planet itself is a fusion of its portrayal in the original Planet Hulk storyline, and it’s look in Thor Ragnarok. it’s a rough, extreme world where things are so ferocious that superhuman-typical power levels are required to just survive, and it used to be a chaotic mess of a conquering empire dominated by an alien species forcing all into compliance. IT is a very bombastic place, however, full of glowing neon, architecture out of an 80s music video, and a populace drawn from all over the multiverse,

the planet is (now) a green and lush place, full of deserts not yet reclaimed, but even those are gradually turning into savannahs. elsewhere, forests, jungles, swamps and wetlands dominant depending on climate. in recent times, it has become absurdly fertile and full of life, and plant life grows absurdly fast. Sakaar’s population is natrually predisposed to extreme levels of strength and power, but it holds more power for its ability to export vast amounts of food and feed an enormous number of planets, Sakaar feeds empires, or so it is said, and those worlds depend on its favor.

it is still a dangerous world. almost all native fauna is at least inclined towards carnivorousness, most plant life is known to consume living meat when given the opportunity, and the entire planet can be politely described as a death trap. the weather regularly changes at random, storms capable of wiping out cities regularly sweep the continents, the tides are equivalant to tsunamis, and people tend to explode during thunderstorms... and that’s just the weather. giant hordes of carnivorous kaiju and Monster Hunter-appropriate beasts roam the lands in vast numbers, consuming all in their path; hyper-aggressive predators are extremely common.

to survive, people must be strong, cunning and tough, and the planet has become home to several notable species that dominate its local cultures:

the krogan of Mass Effect (a reptillian race resembling alien tortoises, with a touch of shark) having largely established themselves here and thriving in the rough climate. they’re not particularly common, as yet, but their numbers are growing and they are incredibly well adapted to the harsh conditions of Sakaar’s more outlying regions. they generally live in the more desolate regions that even others won’t touch, and are rather smug about it. They’re very large aliens, standing over fifty feet tall and can be even bigger, if you count their humps.

the Natives of Sakaar, as the name suggests, are the original indigenous species, and have made great success since the ascension of the Sakaarson to rulership, an insectoid species, they are based off of the ones from the original comic, but are physically modeled after Miek as he appeared in Thor Ragnarok. Colorful sapient insects that resemble hard-shelled isopods, they are naturally adapted to digging in soft areas such as sand or dirt, and their limbs are surprisingly good at manipulating their environment, but they do not have limbs like humanoids. They have taken to using exoskeltal suits they operate, however, giving them a humanoid stature similar to MCU-verse Miek. They come in a variety of sizes ranging from human-sized to as big as a car, depending on age, but the patriarch of a given hive grows to truly enormous size, often as big as a train, and they are stilled dwarfed by the queens of the hive. (These are usually quite insectoid, but plenty have become gynomorph-types, and adopted a broodmother body plan.)

Natives, resembling brightly colored bug plushies, may look harmless, but they are enormously strong and can ram into things with considerable force; one moving in sand is like a drilling machine going full throttle, and they like their frames built for agility and resilience. they’re also notable empaths, able to chem (transmit memories and feelings, biologically) with any known form of life, making them outstanding diplomats. this is a new route for them, as until now they’ve been quite wary of aliens. the example of the noble Sakaarson, however, has made their youngest more optimistic.

The Imperials formerly dominated the planet in a bloody empire similar to the Roman Empire, and are believed to be a offshoot of the turians; the CT-verse is broadly similar to the turians, design-wise, though they lack the hard shell of their kin, instead having skin of varying reds or pinks. They stand roughly fifteen feet tall on average, and boast enormous physical power. they seem stronger the more of them there are, and it is speculated they may have a form of latent psionic ability that ‘pools’ their collective power the more of them there are.

The Shadow People (often simply called the shadows of Sakaar) are, like the Imperials, not native to the planet but are descended from colonists whom were marooned there in ages past. It’s unclear who their ancestors were; some suggest they are remnants of the ancient Quarian people, others think they may be a modified form of Nebulan, and the Shadow People themselves don’t know. They are rightly called giants; standing over 50 feet tall for even the shortest of them, they are imposingly strong and carry ancient lore of magical secrets that allow them to draw on life force and strengthen themselves, growing even bigger and more powerful. Grey-skinned (some tending towards darker shades), they tend to have broad shoulders and elongated necks, and combined with their flat snouts and pitch-black eyes, they have adapted well to the deserts they often commune in.

The Shadows are also the traditional priesthood of Sakaar, worshiping various gods depending on locale; some revere the planet as personified through their gods, while others worship Gojira the god of monsters and torment, and others still. A common thread in a reverence of a prophet-like figure believed to come to Sakaar to revive it’s people, a belief confirmed in the fierce but just ruler of Sakaar, who has claimed the title of Sakaarson as his name; Holku Sakaarson, and to the rest of the multiverse, he is known as Hulk.

Largely indifferent to politics are the Spikes; fungal beings who feed upon cosmic energy, and are content to live in space, monitoring the portals surrounding Sakaar and exploring the multiverse. They are commonly believed to be energy beings, as they process consumed energy into shell-bodies they operate, and in their natural environment, tend to resemble luminous entities. They can feed on living beings, parasitically devouring them and mutating them into mindless monsters, but only do so when their is no alternative and have been driven to madness through sheer hunger.

Finally there are the various robots inhabiting Sakaar. Most are integrated, but the Wildebots bear some discussion. Feral robots who for the most part are profoundly disinterested in organic coexistence, they were intially thought mindless until other robots opened dialogue with them, revealing that they are fully sapient, and content to live as wild animals. They have since agreed to be left alone, though the natives and them still do battle; now, it seems, mostly in fun and out of boredom.

There are other species present in notable communities across Sakaar; isolated pockets of Transformers (mostly beastformers and unique, monstrous changers) are well suited to the environment. Yautja and the horrific xenomorphs also have survived there quite well, and many varieties of dragon have established their homes upon the world. Some species that do well in harsh conditions (Tetramands, vulpimancers, and crystalsapiens, for example) all live here, as do other species that have changed to become strong and survive it.

finally, the Red King, the former ruler of Sakaar, is not quite dead. Reports differ to whether he was killed by wildebots or infested by spikes and burned by his own soldiers, but it appears that he was previously the latest in a long line of kings serving the will of the Ringers, on behalf of Javik and his Prothean Empire. the Sakaarson’s emergence completely threw his plans off track, removed Sakaar as a strategic piece, and is now a completely independent world now ruled by a hero so ferocious and stern that the likes of Grimlock call him a spiritual brother. Accordingly, the Red King desperately wants revenge and to reclaim his kingdoms, though Javik is loathe to allow him to do so, disliking him personally; he would have already killed the Red King as an incompetent bully, but the Red King is the last of his bloodline, and many of Sakaar’s hidden weapon systems and technologies buried beneath its surface (currently obscured from the Sakaarson) are linked to his genetics. He is a necessary burden, for the moment, and is a prime use as a recurring antagonist; he is a tempermental and petulant sort, and is likely to attack heroes for imagined slights or to claim their worlds for his own.

[evenmorestress]

Secret Solenoid

My submission with @secretsolenoid for @blushlouise​

Prompt: Any continuity, Dinobots being awesome!

fic under cut to save space!

“I’m gonna shoot the door.” “No!” Fulcrum yanks as hard as his thin frame will allow against Misfire’s raised arm. The blaster Misfire holds above Fulcrum's helm remains steady. None of Fulcrum's efforts come close to swaying Misfire’s determination to blast their way out. “Why not?” “Because you’ll miss then blasts will be bouncing off the walls!” “I won’t miss— I’ll try not to miss!” “You’ll try!?” “I promise!” “Would you two just mute it!? I’m trying to think here.”

“Think harder, you haven’t found us a way out yet." “I WANT TO YELL TOO!” Grimlock turns his sword over in his hands, visor downturned as he listens to the squabbling of his teammates. They’ve been in the bunker for several days without escape in sight. Their first attempt to get out resulted in the chaotic arming of security systems. Flamethrowers, gun-wielding drones, and electrical currents blasted the trapped Scavengers. They are now very charred set of trapped, rogue Decepticons.

“Could try to hack the door again.” Crankcase suggests.

“And get fried again? Like that’ll help.” Krok wanders off to think alone. No one guessed a malfunctioning teleporter would send them spiraling into a panic room. No one could begin to guess why the security system would target those inside. They are stuck, they are going stir crazy, and they are running out of ideas. A few emergency huddles later, their only plans were to wait for a miracle or begin a suicide missions. Krok doesn't approve of Misfire’s suggestion to use Spinister as a sacrifice. They don’t know what was beyond the door. For all they knew, it could be even worse outside The Scavenger’s aren't anticipating the Dinobot’s patience would run out. They seem to have forgotten about him, an option that Grimlock has yet to point out to them. The Dinobot stabs his sword against the floor and hefts his bulk to a standing position. Krok and Misfire's squabbling distracts the others. They don’t even notice the hulking Autobot as he lumbers past. Grimlock stops in front of the door. He stares at the deceptively plain metal stopping them from leaving. He glances back to the others. Misfire has finally noticed.

“So if you think I’m going to let you shoot that blaster in here you have another thing—“ “Grim? What... what are you doing?” Four other helms snap up. Grimlock can see the confusion, horror, and -- in Spinister’s case -- blankness as it passes through each of their faces. Grimlock turns away. His hand presses against the door to test its strength. “Grimlock.” Krok reaches for him as he races toward the determined Dinobot. “Grimlock, I know what you’re thinking but let’s not be hasty--” His words do nothing to dissuade their much larger teammate. The door goes flying in a pile of twisted metal and snapped hinges as Grimlock’s foot smashes into it. Krok jolts back. The door cracks against the opposite wall, which crumbles beneath the force. The room erupts in pulsating red lights and sirens blasting with a ferocious screech. Drones drop from the ceiling; flamethrowers emerge from the walls. Laser fire and flame lick across Grimlock's plating but both go ignored as he roars in rage. In an instant, he’s in savage motion. His sword bursts into flames of its own as he stabs and cuts and slashes through the drones. The electrical current searing through the floor is not enough to stall his rampage. Grimlock rips the trap from its circuits as he wrenches up the floor paneling. He throws the panel, which explodes in an eruption of scrap and obliterates a drone. Oil and gears explode under Grimlock's fists and weapons. He rips the flamethrowers apart with primal brutality. Excitement rushes through his lines; with ferocious joy, he transforms into the king of beasts. He can feel the fuel in the weapon’s tanks light and scorch his frame but why should he care when there is so much more killing to do? By the time he's done, he's left a trail of carnage in his wake. As the Scavengers peek out from their destroyed prison, Grimlock crunches the final whining drone’s head. It shatters between massive jaws with a sickly crunch. Lubricant squelches like energon under the T-Rex’s massive feet as he turns to face them. “Too slow,” Grimlock informs them, getting straight to the point. “Yeah… Yeah, I guess so,” Krok admits as he skirts around a still flaming pool of oil. Misfire isn’t nearly as reserved: “HOLY FRAG GRIMLOCK THAT WAS AWESOME!” Crankcase turns to look at their de facto leader. Face stoic as always, he asks Krok, “Why didn’t we just let him at it before?” “Hey, you didn’t bring it up either!” Krok points out.

Crankcase doesn’t miss a beat as he retorts, “I’m not the leader. I’m just the pilot.” As they begin to bicker for the millionth time, Grimlock swings his weight around to trudge out of the facility. It's not nearly as large as they had assumed it to be by its defenses. It is a simple room at the end of a long hallway. It was a gauntlet meant to deter any unwelcome invaders -- or in their experience, any unwitting prisoners. The outer door is easy enough to gouge open, its rent surface shattering under Grimlock’s strike. The first thing that they take in: the sun. Its bright glare sears against the optics and plating alike. There is nothing to see outside but an endless expanse of sand and stone. Grimlock did his part. He got them out. Now it's up to them to figure out how the frag to get themselves out of this new mess. He drops down into the shade of the bunker’s entrance. The ground shakes as he hits. “Ah, slag, it is worse outside.” They call a huddle and Grimlock lets his optics drift offline. He’s sure something else will show up to try and destroy them all. But right at this moment, he’s taking a nap.

[vorthosjay]

Let’s Talk About Wool Over the Eyes AND Dominaria News!

AAAAAAAH SO MUCH TO TALK ABOUT TODAY. The story is here, while big news for Dominaria was rolled out here, here, and in my own article here. NO TIME FOR INTRO LETS GO.

Sphinx’s Decree by Daarken

None of her tamales had made it through the journey (they had crumbled to an inedible dust somewhere in the metaphysical space between Ixalan and here), so she traded a piece of amber from home for a bag full of odd-looking coins.

This is an important detail for a couple reasons. First, she was bringing tamales to barter! Second, they crumbled to dust in the Blind Eternities.

"No, but I'd love to make one!" Saheeli grinned and pulled Huatli up off the bench. "We are going back to my workshop right now so you can describe them to me. I've been needing a new artificing project!"

I realling like that Saheeli and Huatli are besties now.

Also, and I can’t overstate this...

ARTIFACT DINOSAURS

Grimlock, Ferocious King by Tyler Jacobson

The road was dusty and broad, peppered here and there with stores that had been in business longer than he had been alive. It was a sleepy sort of place, and Angrath was happy very little had changed.

A little plume of smoke was rising from his foundry. A hand-painted window on the outside read "OPEN" in blocky lettering. The building was little more than a shack on the far end of town, but it had been his shack on the far end of town. Piles of iron and metal were stacked outside, and a number of items and weapons were hung on a rack, each tagged to mark which order was which.

Sounds an awful lot like an old west plane, as most of us have speculated for Angrath from the start.

Two minotaurs glanced up from their anvils. They were tall like their mother had been. They wore bulky leather aprons, and their horns were adorned with the jewelry worn by unmarried women of their age.

Their eyes went wide. The one on the right snorted in shock. The other's ears stood up in surprise.

The one on the right sniffed the air and trembled with emotion. "Father?"

Steam softly hissed where Angrath's tears met his skin. He smiled.

"Rumi. Jamira. I'm home."

She remembered journeying upriver alone . . .

bravely diving into the river that ran through the city . . .

watching as a sphinx rampaged through Orazca . . .

and standing atop the Immortal Sun to turn said sphinx—along with dozens of other enemies—into gold.

Vraska remembered it all as clear as day, and gladly laid bare her mind for Nicol Bolas to inspect.

Like the image up top, I really like the idea that the moments that didn’t happen because Vraska’s backstory for Orazca.

"HE IS ALONE AND IMPRISONED HERE," it read in the same wandering flourish as Nicol Bolas's earlier messages. "CONGRATULATIONS, GUILDLEADER VRASKA." The location listed below the message was in a sparsely populated corner of the city. A perfect place to deal with filth in an appropriately sinister manner.

Whelp, RIP Jarad... again.

The tan was real. The scrapes, the newly callused hands, the muscles (the muscles!) were all his. Jace felt proud of his body for the first time in his life. He must not lose track of it now. Gideon would help with that—he'd been trying to foist a workout regimen on Jace for a year now.

Love to see that the emotional growth for Jace is sticking. He’s no longer intimidated by Gideon and avoiding his help because of that.

Also, you were trying to use me to lure Bolas to Ixalan to be imprisoned, weren't you? What stopped you on Tarkir? Has everything you've ever done actually just been about defeating Nicol Bolas? If so, we're going to need you to step up.

YEAH WHATS UP, UGIN?

Jace's first instinct was to reach his friends on Dominaria by focusing on Liliana, but the thought of her gave him pause. What he felt for her now wasn't anything resembling affection. It felt more sickly than that. An anemic, old, anxious tether between them that felt more like dread than tenderness. The entire notion of her was unsettling him, so he focused on the others instead.

Good.

Gideon's position on Dominaria was moving—not just at normal walking speed or mounted speed, but faster than he had any reason to be going.

How is he moving like that?!

I know how.

"Wow! I've never planeswalked onto a moving object before—what exactly are we riding in? How is it powered? How fast are we going?"

Skyship Weatherlight by Mark Tedin

It’s the Weatherlight, which in it’s earlier incarnation could achieve speeds of up to 110 mph, but got faster as the story went on.

It’s powered by powerstones, perhaps the bones of Ramos still?

He realized he had landed in something slightly gooey, and looked up to see who was nearby.

@sarpadianempiresvol-viii suggested that Jace landed in Squee and now I don’t want it to be anything else.

He heard quick footsteps on metal and saw Gideon skid out from a nearby door, eyes wide and body frozen with shock. His expression was overcome with emotion. This was someone who was happy to the point of tears to see that he was alive. This was a friend.

Compared to his rampant insecurity around Gideon earlier, this is awesome.

He saw Gideon lurching forward to hug him, but one of the other people in the room abruptly stepped in his way. She appeared to be in her seventies. She wore thick red robes, and her silver hair was tied in a loose, somewhat frizzy braid at her side. She looked Jace up and down with a distant, amused smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. The woman looked over her shoulder at Gideon and raised an eyebrow.

"Who's the bookworm?"

WHO IS THIS LADY I WONDER?

Art by Yongjae Choi

"Orazca is ours once more," he said. "The three aspects of the sun shine bright, and thus begins a new age of conquest for the Sun Empire. Ixalan is ours . . . and Torrezon is next."

That was... a relatively minor ending. I think the vampires and pirates might have been more interesting.

Magic Story will resume in April 2018 in Dominaria.

Magic: The Gathering Narrative Team:

Writers – Alison Luhrs and Kelly Digges Editor – Gregg Luben

Ixalan Story Development:

James Wyatt (Creative Lead) Chris L'etoile Doug Beyer

Special thanks to:

Jenna Helland Ken Troop

I want everyone to take a close look at this list, and realize that Chris L’etoile hasn’t been at Wizards of the Coast in year. This list shows exactly why the new plan to bring on an outside author is so fantastic. Alison and Kelly were writing all of the stories for Ixalan, AND were responsible for the world guides for future sets and the thousand art descriptions necessary every year.

Let’s move to the Io9 Article!

Dominaria’s story starts right after the events of Hour of Devastation. Gideon and Liliana have arrived on Dominaria following the Gatewatch’s defeat at the hands of Nicol Bolas. Together, they begin a mission to kill Belzenlok, the final demon holding Liliana’s contract. They get to see a lot of Dominaria in the process, which gives fans a look at how the plane has changed, and make some allies who may be familiar to longtime players.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. First of all, confirmation that Liliana’s fourth demon is on Dominaria.

Second, and more interesting, the rest of the Gatewatch are still working together?

Also, if Liliana’s fourth demon is there, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

What’s changed in Dominaria since fans last went there in Time Spiral?

Wells: Dominaria has started to recover from the Phyrexian invasion, though it’s left its mark on a lot of places and cultures. At the time the story starts, Dominaria is facing a new threat from the rise of the Cabal, which has been taken over by Belzenlok, and is now spreading across the world.

So, has the Weatherlight been restored to take on the Cabal? That seems like the task here, the big bad. Which honestly has me super excited because we’re inching one step after another closer to my grandest theory coming true.

I feel like I don’t have to do much speculation as to where the story is going, because I’ve already figured it out. I’m super pumped.

And then my article!

I think I liked Jamuraa best -- Zhalfir really captured my imagination -- but every setting had so much potential for more stories.

Zhalfir (might) be back! The wording on this was awkward so it’s not clear if she was talking about the history of Jamuraa or modern Jamuraa.

In the podcast, you mention a number of intriguing story details that I'd like to talk about. The biggest of which is the return of Skyship Weatherlight. Is this the original Weatherlight, recovered and rebuilt, or a new ship with the same name?

It's the original Weatherlight, which is rebuilt during the story.

It’s the original Weatherlight!

Notes from the Podcast!

Tiana is the guardian angel for the Weatherlight!

Arvad is a vampire and they become friends!

Teferi has a family!

Lots of cool stuff! I’m super pumped, and I’m sure more specifics will form in my head as we go.

[twitchesandstitches]

One thing I’ve been thinking about; I’m not shy in balancing out the boy/gal/nonbinary ratios (generally in favor of the latter two) and Transformers is shaping up to be a pretty important deal in Crossthicc, both in terms characters present in the factions, overall influence on the aliens and societies seen, metaphysics and the scale of aliens in general… so what of their main gods?

What of Primus, the creator of all things? What of Unicron, the deity of undeath and absolute extinction? And waht if the 13 Original Primes, the first true Transformers and gods to many aliens?

I had the idea; what if in Crossthicc, Primus and Unicron are fembot goddesses?

For one thing, as Transformers, visual presentation is largely a matter of personal choice, and its not as though there’s much of a reason for them canonically to not be. For another, it’s kind of awesome.

In this case, both of them still have largely the same motivations and outlooks as in canon; the biggest chance here is simply that they are giant goddesses, but still have the same significance to the setting as a whole.

Primus, here, is generally considered the mother of all life, whether in a literal or figurative sense; while mechanical life is specifically made in her image - and the argument can be made that organic life is an aberration - she still laid the seeds for organic life to evolve, and they are metaphysically her children. She tends towards a gravid, maternal shape that the big ladies of the MILF fleet often unknowingly emulate. As far as anyone knows, she may in fact BE the first MILF in the cosmos, or close to it.

While Primus is certainly present in-fic, it’s not clear where she is. Originally she had divided parts of a previous avatar into various worlds her Transformers could call home after they successfully beat Unicron in ages past, but when the corrupt Functionalist government forcibly combined all those worlds into the single planet of Cybertron without consideration for the culture clashes, their corruption and cruelty set the seeds for a massive civil war. Cybertron has long since been inactive and dead… but Primus herself lives.

Primus is a gentle and noble soul, who loves all living things regardless of what they are, and is largely an incredibly passive figure. While she may act on her own, she will do nothing of the sort until there is no other option. She would rather act by inspiring others: “It is best that mortals win their battles without being sure if I did anything at all. It is the best way for them to grow.” In particular, she endorses growth, change and mutation of all sorts, and her blood, the material known as Energon, induces the growth of life and transformations of all kinds, which is considered sacred to her. She is the goddess of Transformers, after all.

Primus is worshiped by countless entities, across the multiverse, though they may not be aware of it; many a robotphobic civilization has revered a creator god and unknowingly been giving homage to the machine-goddess herself. Appropriately, she takes whatever form she pleases, manifesting in the dreams and making herself clear to a thousand prophets, and the greatest of those who speak in her name is the Prime of Cybertron, with the Matrix of Leadership a token of her very flesh, given to anoint her chosen ones and convey her will to all living things, who are her people; from the tiniest micro-organisms, to the mightiest sapient war machines. However, her power to manifest into the material planes are limited, and she is highly reluctant to do so again and risk more disaster as she has in the past. She is so distant, in fact, that many other gods and goddesses act on her behalf, making her something of a greater good paragon even by the standard of genuine deities.

The 13 Primes are all alive and well - even if this seems completely impossible - and are flat out gods, though not on the same scale as Primus herself. Generally, assume that they are all non-binary or fembots, with the notable exception of Megatronus and Solus Prime, who are definitely male and female respectively. Of note is Onyx Prime, who is usually referred to by masculine pronouns but can be changed up to suit the way the AU shapes out. Onyx is the progeniator of beastformers, or Transformers who assume monstrous and animal-themed alternate forms, and is named for the pure black shade of their metal form; they were the most ferocious of the Primes, the most monstrously horrifying in appearance… and the wisest, and kindest, of them all. They gave rise to the world of Eukaris, which became the land of beastformers, and later the nation-state of Simfur on Cybertron. Grimlock is the last king of Simfur, and a fervant worshiper of Onyx Prime, which may have gotten the attention of this long dormant deity of honor and civilization.

Uncron has a bit more of a femme fatale vibe, and her habit of devouring entire planets is more strictly vore themed, and done in her humanoid mode rather than her planet form. Sort of a combination of Galacta, Daughter of Galactus, with elements of a truly malicious goddess of death and destruction. While her physical form is a gorgeously curvy fembot, she is incredibly bad news; she would devour all the multiverse if she could, for unknown reasons; as it is, she may well be a personification of the idea of cosmic extinction, and undying hatred. Some rumors suggest that Unicron and Primus were originally components of a more ancient titan, and that Unicron was originally that titan’s cancerous sickness, and to this day Unicron acts as such.

Unicron’s sole goal appears to be spreading death and ruin, and to a lesser extent making Primus irritated by making life miserable for the mortals she cares so much for. However, she is fundamentally a creative entity, and appears to be making something with all the death she has made. Perhaps she devours planets and is recycling them into new creations, or is compelled to outdo Primus at her own game. One such creation are the mysterious Reapers (of Mass Effect fame), here the vanguards of Unicron and her attempt to improve on the idea of the Transformers. When she devours entire species, she shapes their digested essence into a Reaper and endows it with her own essence, and thus she is surrounded by a vast fleet and living temple to her own insatiable hunger and bloodlust. Eternally they worship their mother-goddess, praising her and living solely for her twisted world-view. She finds this… pleasing. This may yet explain her true motivations; to erase the multiverse and replace it with something that reveres her, alleviating the chronic loneliness and isolation she has suffered through eternally, and the torment she may experience from existence just… being there, in spite of her.

When all is silent, and existence itself simply stops save for that which is like her, than she will be pleased, when all is Unicron.