#HEART SIGNAL IN THE SKY — self promo

[lvebug]

THERE IS LOVE IN THIS STORY.      an independent marvel comics / spider-man oc. with love, from dee.      @lvebug.      { © 70th }

[gra-sonas]

I'm curious what are your thoughts on the malex scene for ep6?

I think it's a great scene to re-introduce us to their dynamic. It showcases perfectly where they are at with each other - and as it should be, we, the audience, see the whole picture, whereas these two don't. Not yet.

THE TENSION, SO DELICIOUS!!!

So, apparently, it was Michael, who asked Alex for help. Which is a great thing imo.

Michael's a genius, and yet he's aware that not even his superior brain knows all the answers. So, he asked the most capable and clever person he knows: Alex.

And Alex came (OF COURSE HE DID, HE ALWAYS DOES WHEN MICHAEL ASKS HIM TO). He didn't just come to see what Michael wanted/needed tho. Alex is working with Deep Sky now and going by that small flashback to Alex talking to Eduardo prior to the Malex scene, he's aware of some things regarding those bats Michael isn't.

Alex is in a bit of a pickle here. He joined Deep Sky because he wanted answers, because he wanted to see whether there was any good he could do, and he joined in an effort to find out what Deep Sky knows about aliens, and whether that knowledge could be a potential threat to Michael's, Isobel's and Max's safety.

Alex is a protector at heart, and he feels responsible for what his father (his family, really) did to the aliens. He wants to keep the pod squad (and especially Michael) safe, he wants to make sure, that no shadow organization (government or otherwise) can dig up anything about them, and put them in danger.

Michael has always been trying to do the same thing, only now he's also on a crusade to protect other people, even when one of those people is Kyle Valenti. xD He no longer wants to wallow in guilt (about what they did to Rosa) and self-pity (bc he was dealt a shitty hand for most of his life).

Michael wants to do good, use his knowledge and abilities for good. And he damn well wants to figure out who knocked Maria out (to the point where she's in a hospital, possibly unconscious going by 3x06 promo pics), and took Kyle.

Considering that Maria and Kyle are Alex's closest friends, it was fair of Michael to assume, that Alex would do everything in his power to help Michael.

Instead, Alex isn't just hesitant to help, he downright dismisses Michael and his theories, certainly a poor attempt at throwing Michael off the scent of RADIO TRANSMISSIONS.

Remember, Alex has only been back in town for 4 days (give or take), Michael's not aware of Alex having left the Air Force and joining Deep Sky yet (he's very likely not even aware that Forrest is out of the picture). He doesn't know anything about the Lockhart machine, what it does every 47 days, what it might've been built for, and that it reacted to the pebbleturquoise Michael gave him. Alex on the other hand is aware of it using RADIO FREQUENCIES, and he knows that Eduardo has to be connected to it somehow.

Alex doesn't dismiss Michael to be cruel (even though it kinda is), he's doing it bc he's afraid Michael might start digging deeper and possibly putting himself in danger in the process.

When Michael fills Alex in on a detail about the attack (a bloody shovel at the crime scene), Alex visibly freezes. He starts connecting dots (Eduardo's bandaged arm, he claimed was bandaged bc of a rabies shot - wrapping half his arm after a supposed vaccination? SureJan.gif), and he doesn't like the picture he's seeing. Instead of explaining things to Michael, he tries to leave.

Nice try, bc Michael's not done yet, and he uses his telekinesis to stop Alex.

Michael's visibly upset with Alex. He sure thought that Alex would be eager to help him figure out what happened to Kyle and Maria, especially after Alex's I WOULD BURN DOWN THE ENTIRE WORLD FIRST declaration from just 2 days ago (Michael must've been hopeful bc of their interaction when he asked Alex for help).

Instead, Alex is dismissing Michael's theories, and he's trying to leave. SO MANY MIXED SIGNALS, how's Michael supposed to figure out what's really going on?

He doesn't understand why Alex behaves the way he does. He senses that something's off and he wants to understand. Alex isn't ready to share information yet tho.

Michael tells Alex in no uncertain terms, that he expected him to give a damn about what happened to his friends. Bc that's how Michael reads Alex's reaction, he understands Alex's unwillingness to look into the radio/bat situation with him as "he doesn't care about Kyle and Maria".

But also, NOT REALLY! Bc that's just not who Alex is as a person. Michael wants answers tho he wants to understand why Alex is so dismissive, and what he's hiding, so he provokes Alex in an attempt to get a reaction, and an explanation out of him.

Meanwhile, all Alex can think about is "this might've been Eduardo, this might've been Deep Sky, I have to get back to the headquarters to see what I can find out and whether maybe Kyle's there somewhere??? Also Liz has the bloody shovel, how can I get a blood sample from Eduardo to see whether it's his blood? Shit, Michael can't know about any of it bc he'd be angry about me joining Deep Sky, and there's no time for that discussion now. Also, he'd probably insist on coming with me to free Kyle, and there's no way I'll let him near Deep Sky until I know what we're dealing with (or ever, if I can help it)."

GAAAAAH, these two idiots! Michael's upset that Alex seemingly refuses to help and investigate with him, and Alex wants to protect Michael and wants to figure things out on the Deep Sky end before he has a conversation about it with Michael. Michael wants to share information with Alex in order to save their friends. Alex is withholding information from Michael in order to protect Michael.

Was it kinda rude of Michael to say that he'd like Alex to be the guy who cares about their friends? Yes. Was it kinda rude of Alex to keep Michael in the dark and behave like there's nothing to Michael's theory, and then just wanting to leave without any further explanation? Also yes. Did Michael say it to provoke a reaction from Alex (and get an explanation he can understand)? Yes. Did Alex give him that? Kinda? In a way? Hopefully? Maybe? It's hard to tell how Michael interprets Alex saying "I just don't want you anywhere near whatever it is I decide to do."

Is this the face of a man who understands that Alex is doing what he can, but that he can't share the details with Michael yet (Alex said earlier "Look, I'll talk to you later." That implies more talking and possibly an explanation from Alex's end.) Or is this Michael taking what Alex said as the biggest dismissal (FUCK YOU but with more words) ever, and he's resigning to figuring this out on his own?

They both fucked up in this scene, both had their reasons, and it's all about figuring out alien-related shenanigans and keeping people safe at the same time.

⬇️ THIS is their dynamic. Always has been, especially when Alex found out about aliens, and that Michael is one.

And Alex is ready to twist himself into a pretzel to keep Michael safe (joining Deep Sky was about that first and foremost).

But I'm sure this whole scene wasn't for nothing. There has to be a build-up to them finally TALKING, and learning where the other's coming from, learning that neither of them's malicious just for the heck of it. And man, I can't wait for the moment when all cards are on the table, and they start working together!

Alex has been a lone wolf for so long, and bc of his "I'm a trained soldier, if anyone's going to be in danger, it better be me bc I know how to handle these situations" mentality, he often keeps things to himself until he has a better idea of potential dangers/threats. Hell, he just went on a one-year long trip out of town to make sure that Project Sheperd was well and truly finished, it's nothing short of a miracle that he told Kyle about Deep Sky trying to recruit him - but as far as we know, he hasn't told anyone but Greg about actually doing it yet. And I doubt that Greg had nothing better to do than tell everyone in the group chat.

Michael on the other hand, has also always been a lone wolf. Aalways the outcast, the only guy who didn't get adopted, the kid who was lonely and poor, and didn't get to have the happy ending with the boy he loved. He's also always been the most powerful of the pod squad, the one wanting to find out more about where they are from. He's the one who decided to take the blame for something Isobel did to spare her dealing with it. He believes in his skills, and like Alex, thinks that if anyone's getting in danger, he's the one best equipped to deal with it.

Imagine how powerful they'll be when there are no more secrets between them, when regardless of their urge to keep everyone safe, they're trying to figure out the best way to do it.

Okay, this got VERY long, and I have no idea if it makes sense anymore, but I really think it's a cool scene that will serve as the real starting point for Malex this season.

[livingbecauseofwriting]

Life’s Too Short

Hello loves! So i’ve never really done anything like this (except like 3 horrible short stories I put on Wattpad like 5 years ago), but I really hope you enjoy. Please like and share and comment what you think. 

Me and my sister are doing a writing exchange where each month we draw 2 short dialogue prompts and a character and write a story and give it to each other at the end of the month. We just started this so this is the first story. 

I posted something about it and someone responded saying they’d want to read it so here you go. Anyway Imma shut up, but If you like it and would like for me to continue posting each month’s story and possibly opening up requests and stuff to write regularly please let me know!

This month’s prompts were:

“Don’t think about anything, just tell me you love me and hold me tighter” and “What are you doing up?”

I got Grayson Dolan.

Word Count: 8487

Warnings: life threatening event but I don’t want to give it away.... and cursing if that needs a warning

(Tumblr fucked up the formatting when I pasted it in here so if it looks weird I’m sorry I tried to fix it)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bright golden rays cut through the curtains as the sun set high into the new day’s sky. The sunlight spread cross your modern style bed and illuminates you and your husband’s bodies. You were facing each other with your legs tangled together under your pure white comforter. The bright light spreads across your face and you groan softly as you come into a conscience state. Grayson smiles softly at your utter look of annoyance at the signaling of the new day that has brought you out of your slumber. Grayson has always been a morning person, while you are not, and would sleep until the late hours of the day if given the chance. Because of this, Grayson is usually a wake a good hour or two before you in the mornings and gets up, always careful not to wake you, to start his rigorous work days. Today, however, Grayson had a day off, something that had become increasingly rare in your lives, and so he opted to stay in bed and just admire the heavenly women that he gets to wake up to every morning.

He chuckles as you slowly shift in the bed in an attempt to block the sun from your eyes. He reaches a hand up and gently moves some of your messy bed hair behind your ear and places a soft kiss on your forehead.

 “Good morning babe” He whispers, his voice still groggy and scratchy from sleep. Your eyes flutter open and you look up at him with both a look of love and annoyance.

 “It would be a good morning if the sun wasn’t being so rude.” You pout and bury your head in Gray’s bare shoulder as he pulls you closer and presses another kiss to your hair.

 You lie like this for a second until you suddenly become very aware of his presence as well as what time it probably is, seeing as the sun is shining so bright and he’s usually up and working at the crack of dawn. You pull your head away from him abruptly and look at him with a very confused look on your face.

 “Why are you still here? You’re usually deep into your work and filming with E by this time of the day?”

 When the twins started their online presence on Vine back in 2013, the rose to fame rather quickly. It was something neither of them expected. The videos they made were just of them having fun and being their own idiot selves and it turned into a massive following. When they moved onto YouTube in 2015 that following only grew. Now with well over 18 million subscribers, filming every day, marketing meetings, promo meetings, gaining sponsorships, creating video ideas, and finding new creative ways to reach an even bigger audience, the twins were busier now more than ever.

 “Usually yes, but we did a lot of work this week and got ahead. So, we earned ourselves a day off.” Grayson explained softly as he continued gently caressing your hair as he studied every feature of your tired, yet beautiful face. It’s been just over 4 years since you two met, and every day he was still completely in awe that he got to wake up with this life, with you beside him. How’d he get you? I mean he honestly just couldn’t understand, how he possibly got this beautiful woman beside him? Every day when he saw you sleeping beside him, he silently thanked God for that day, that day that started everything for you two.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Back story ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Grayson met after you moved to California for an internship in your senior year of college. You had quickly discovered a coffee shop perfectly placed right between your apartment and work that became your favorite place to study and get work done. Coincidently, this was Grayson’s favorite coffee shop and he had been a regular since He and Ethan moved to Cali years prior.

 After constantly seeing you  in the café time after time, Grayson became curious. You were this mysterious girl who showed up out of nowhere and took over his coffee spot, even the workers were beginning to get closer to you and knew you better than they knew him, and he had been going there MUCH longer. However, he just couldn’t get up the courage to question the beautiful girl that made his day just a little bit better whenever he saw you there sipping your hot chai tea with almond milk and concentrating intensely on god knows what you had to work on that week.

However, the day came when he had no choice. You had only been at the shop a short while before you get an emergency call from work making you hastily gather your things and rush out the door at exactly the same time Gray was trying to enter causing you to slam into each other. Your hot chai went everywhere, mostly on you and your computer.

 “SHIT!” You yelled looking down at your clothes and your probably now ruined computer. You quickly looked up at Grayson who looked just as stunned as you as Ethan completely lost his mind, laughing his ass off behind him.

“I’m so sorry. I should have been looking where I was going. I’m sorry. I just- oh my god this is probably ruined... and oh my god, are you wearing a Gucci shirt that I just ruined because of my clumsy ass self…” Your muttered so quickly that it practically came out as one sentence.

 Grayson’s expression softened as he noticed how stressed and petrified you looked.

“It’s ok. I mean yes, it is, but it’s fine. I can just steal my brother’s, he has the same one.”

Grayson smiled. “Oh, shoot here let me get you some napkins” He said immediately after, rushing inside and grabbing a giant stack of napkins off the counter and bringing them over to you.

 You smiled hesitantly still shocked and stressed and took the napkins from him and began to attempt to wipe the chai off your clothes, computer, and books.

 “You look like you’re in a hurry, can I help you with something? Do you need a ride... or new clothes?” Gray asked chuckling a bit. You looked up giving him a look that you clearly didn’t find this funny as you continued to wipe your belongings.

 “Um thank you, but I really do have to go. I’m so sorry again. Um, you come in a lot. Maybe I can make it up to you next time... I’m really sorry.” You responded quickly still in almost a single sentence. Before Grayson could even comprehend what you said or even mutter an “ok” you were halfway down the street rushing to your work emergency.

 To say Grayson was stunned would be an understatement. He really didn’t care that you spilled hot chai all over him, no, he was mainly shock at how everything went down. This girl he’s been wanting to talk to for weeks and THAT is your first interaction. It was like something straight out of a movie. Grayson collected himself and punched Ethan’s arm as he made fun of Grayson’s flushed expression.  He wondered if he’d see her again, and if he did what it would be like now that the ice had been broken.

 He was disappointed when he didn’t see you in the café the following day, but figured either you were entirely too embarrassed to show your face around here anytime soon or you were busy sorting out your computer problem, either way, he desperately wanted, no, NEEDED to see you again.

 That’s why his heart nearly stopped when he walked into the café three days later and saw you sitting there, your back facing him so you didn’t see him as you intensely poured over your books and typed away on what looked like to be a different computer but not necessarily a new one. He couldn’t resist the smile that spread across his lips and he silently thanked God that Ethan was too lazy to get out of bed and opted out of coming to pick up their coffee with him.

 Grayson noticed you weren’t sporting your usual hot cup of chai and hastily went to the counter and ordered Ethan and his usual along with your chai tea order which he had picked up on after watching you order it every single time you came in. When the drinks were done he carefully made his way to your table. He still wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing but he knew there was no turning back, he was already in motion.

 Grayson reached you and you still hadn’t noticed him as you were so focused on your work and had your earbuds playing soft music in your head. He cleared his throat gently and placed the chai tea on a clear spot of the table in front of you making you jump slightly as you quickly yanked out your earbuds and looked up. You smiled as a noticeable heated blush spread across your face.

 “Oh, uh, hey sorry I didn’t mean to scare you. I uh got you your drink. I noticed you didn’t have one today and I thought I’d get you one to say, ‘sorry I got in your way the other day.” Grayson said awkwardly desperate to explain himself without looking weird or creepy as he rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged softly.

 You smiled brightly and shook your head softly. “Please don’t apologize. It really wasn’t your fault. I need to watch where I’m going, but thank you this is very sweet.” You took a sip of the chai not sure what to expect that he had ordered you, but as soon as the drink passed your lips you looked up at him surprised. “Char tea with almond milk and an extra shot...How’d you know? Are you stalking me?”

 Grayson’s eyes widened and he quickly shook his head, “Nononono, I uh, I don’t know if you’ve noticed but we’re here at the same time a lot and I’ve just noticed you get the same thing every time and honestly it’s not that hard to remember.” He said chuckling nervously.

 You smiled at his quickness to defend himself. “I was kidding. Thank you though. I love this.” You took another sip and there was a bit of an awkward silence for a second before he gestured to the computer you were using and questioned, “You got a new one? I hope the other one didn’t mess up too bad. I know you probably had a lot of work saved on there.”

 You nodded and placed the cup down sighing. “Not a new one just a loaner from a friend. I can’t get mine to turn on and I can’t afford a new one which is fine except I can’t retrieve any of my work from my computer so I basically have to start all over from scratch.”

 Grayson nodded in understanding and cringed sympathetically at your pain. “I know your pain. My entire work exists in my computer but my brother’s very clumsy and has messed up one or two. So yeah I know a guy who’s been able to fix some of mine and if he can’t fix it he can at least retrieve the data from it. I can hook you up if you’d like.”

 Grayson swore his heart stopped as he watched your eyes widen and a look of utter disbelief and amazement, but most of all relief, wash over you. It was adorable. “Really!?! That would be absolutely amazing. Oh my god you’re literally saving me so much time and work.”

 Grayson smiled and nodded just glad he could help but also hoping this gave him an in or at least an excuse to spend some time outside of this small café with you. “Yeah of course. Actually, he lives just down the street from me. I can talk to him when I get home and see when he’s available.”

 “That would be perfect. Here let me give you my number so you can contact me.” You said picking up a pen and ripping a small piece of paper from a page in your notebook. You quickly scribbled down your number trying to make sure it was readable as Grayson stared at you, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, he couldn’t believe it. You handed him the number and he took it tentatively, like it was the most valuable item on the planet, and honestly at the moment in his world, it was. Grayson starred at the number and quickly realized he didn’t even know your name.

“Thank you, but um, what name should I use for the contact, I don’t think I ever caught it.” You smiled surprised at his words and chuckled softly as you leaned back in your seat.

 “You managed to remember my coffee order but never picked up on my name?” You questioned smirking at him watching in amusement as his face went completely red.

“I mean… now that I’m thinking about it, yeah. I’ve always just kind of referred to you as the ‘chai tea girl’… I mean not that I’m talking about you often but like the few times it came up with other people that’s what we called you.” Grayson said rambling nervously as his face went even more red. You chuckled and shook your head softly.

 “I’m just giving you a hard time… I’m Y/N, but I’d hate to mess up what you already know me as, so please continue referring to me as “chai tea girl’ if you must.” You laughed softly at your words and Grayson’s heart melted. Your laugh was like music to his ears, it’s something he could see himself listening to everyday. These thoughts were nuts to him. He barely knew you, yet at the same time he feels like he’s known you his whole life, it was like nothing he’s ever experienced.

 “Y/N...? I like that name, it’s really pretty.” Grayson responded softly smirking making you blush. “I’m Grayson…”

 “Yeah I know. And your brother is Ethan? You guys are a bit bigger than I think you’re giving yourself credit for. My sister really likes you and I’ve seen a few videos through her. You’re funny, and unique from every other YouTuber. I like that. Originality.”

 Grayson smiled and nodded softly, proud of his brother and his work. “Thanks that means a lot. We work really hard to create good content that’s original to us so I’m really glad you like it. We do a lot of crazy stuff, shit happens, things break, that’s why I know this guy. He’s fix many computers and cameras for us and retrieved a lot of content we thought we lost. He’s good, he’ll for sure be able to help you.”

 “That’s awesome. I hope so, I can’t lose all that.” You said sighing in relief. You were so intrigued by Grayson. Sure, he was hot af, but there was something else. The guy standing in front of you was so different from the guy everyone watched on YouTube and something inside of you was begging to find out more about this real, authentic version of Grayson Dolan.

 The conversation eventually died out as Ethan spammed Grayson with texts asking where the hell his coffee was and you had to get back to work anyway but you left each other feeling like you were floating and neither of you could stop smiling.  

 Grayson texted you later after talking to his friend and you agreed to meet at his place the next day. It took his friend all of 5 minutes to fix your laptop and retrieve all your work. You were so relieved and in the rush of gratefulness to Grayson and his friend, and with all the time you suddenly had on your hands now that you didn’t have to do all that work over again, you and Grayson agreed to go out, somewhere other than the coffee shop.

 The next night Grayson took you on one of the most unique and fun dates ever. What you thought was going to just be dinner turned into a picnic on top of a cliff under the stars and breaking into an old theater and performing for each other, just complete nonsense. You continued to an amusement park where Grayson of course won a stuffed t-rex with giant eyes after watching you freak out about how cute it was. You explored the city and later found yourself at a beach to watch the sun rise. Everything about the night was perfect. It was a night pulled straight out of a movie and neither of you could comprehend it, but that night was just the start.

 Soon you and Grayson were seeing each other at least every week (outside of the café) and then once a week turned into three times a week until it got to the point that you were practically living with the boys. They started including you in bits and pieces of their videos and soon their whole fan base knew you. You and Grayson dated for two years before he finally asked you to marry him. Everyone knew you were meant to be together and it was just a matter of time, so it was no surprise when you finally sported that diamond ring on your finger.

 It was quiet and intimate. Grayson rented out the whole coffee shop that started it all. The place was filled with fairy lights and all the tables were moved and the floor was covered with pillows and blankets and Grayson made sure you had all the chai tea you wanted. A screen was projected on the wall and once you were settled in it began playing starting with the Disney intro to fake you out, but quickly turned into a slideshow movie about you containing all sorts of pictures of you, you and Grayson, your friends and you all together, and a bunch of videos, some which you had no idea they were filming.

 When the movie finished you had tears in your eyes, just seeing all these memories, you couldn’t believe this was your life. You turned to hug and kiss Grayson but he was down on one knee holding an opened velvet box with a beautiful, simple diamond ring inside. You didn’t know how you didn’t notice him get up before but there he was. It was incredibly cheesy but that’s just who he is. He already had tears in his eyes not even having said anything yet.

 “Y/N…if that video isn’t testimony enough to the impact you’ve had in my life, then let me tell you. Babe I have no idea where I would be without you. From the moment I saw you, sitting in this coffee shop working your ass off on whatever project you had due that week and drinking that damn chai tea, my heart knew it needed you and I don’t care how fucking cheesy that sounds, it’s true. Everything happens for a reason, and when you ran into me two years ago, destroyed your laptop and ruined my favorite Gucci shirt, it was fate. That was the beginning of something so beautiful and nothing else mattered. Our love is once in a lifetime, and I’m so glad it exists in ours. I would fight for you and find you in any lifetime, and I want to spend the rest of this one with you by my side. So please God, will you marry me already?” Grayson chuckled and smiled as tears streamed down his cheeks.

“It’s about damn time!” You laughed crouching down to his level and flinging yourself into his arms. “I love you so much you fucking asshole. Of course I’ll marry you.” You giggled pulling away, cupping his cheeks in your hands and wiping his tears with your thumbs before pulling his lips to yours. You both smiled uncontrollably into the kiss and pulled away leaning your foreheads against each other. Grayson looked down and placed the ring on your finger before pulling you in for another long hug.

You guys decided to keep the engagement quiet for a while, only telling family and friends, just wanting to enjoy this special time to yourselves for a bit before letting the whole world know. When you did finally tell his fans you two made a short little video about it and both made Instagram posts shortly after the video went up. You got married a little over a year later and it was everything you could have asked for and more. The rest is history.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~End of Back Story~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You smiled, beaming brightly at his words. “Really!?! Oh my god it’s been so long.”

 “Yes really.” Grayson chuckled softly at your excitement. He knew you needed this, you both did. You barely ever saw each other now-a-days. Grayson almost never had a day off and your days were usually spent apart, not seeing each other until you both fell into bed at night, and at that point it was much too late and you were both too tired to do anything together. “I was thinking we could go out, spend the day together doing the things we don’t normally get to do.”

You smiled wider and nodded in agreement before leaning in and pressing an excited kiss to his lips. You two sat like that for a second, just holding each other, enjoying each other’s presence before you gently pushed yourself up, Grayson soon following, and stretched your arms out, squinting at the harsh daylight pouring through the big floor-to-ceiling windows surrounding your room.

 The twins had bought a compound with two houses on it overlooking LA with a beautiful view of the city and the beach. The twins always knew they wouldn’t able to live apart, but when Grayson and you got married and Ethan was sure to follow with a fiancé of his own eventually, the old house was getting too crowded. When the twins created this property with their house literally only 20 feet apart connected by a glass tunnel/hallway, it was an absolute dream come true for them. It was very modern and green. The whole house contained big windows for lots of sunlight to come in. There were plants everywhere, but placed perfectly to create a beautiful aesthetic. The floors were all wood and most surfaces throughout the house were all made of stone or marble. The house generally contained an all-white or grey color scheme with pops of color here and there and everything was very open. It was everything you imagined a famous California house to look like.

You pulled yourself out of bed and wrapped your silk robe around you and went to make your way to the kitchen before Grayson stopped you, wrapping his arms around you from behind and kissing your neck gently.

“Let’s eat out today love. No working in any way, let’s just enjoy this.”

You smiled and closed your eyes softly as his lips and hot breath grazed your skin as he spoke. You turned in his arms wrapping your arms around his neck and nodded kissing his softly. “Sounds lovely. I guess I’ll just get dressed then.” You two pulled apart and made your way to your separate closets. You picked a pair of black and white checkered slacks with a light blue sweater with your black vans. After you got dressed you went to the connected master bathroom and applied a small bit of makeup and pulled your long hair into messy bun. You walked out just as Grayson finished pulling on his shoes. He was wearing black ripped jeans and a white t-shirt with black and red strips and a pair of red vans. Damn did he look hot.

You smiled as he took your hand and led you out of the bedroom, grabbing his keys as he made his way to the car. He opened the door for you like the gentleman that his is and you jokingly curtsied to him in response as you both giggled softly. Grayson climbed into the driver’s side of his custom vintage 1960s teal Bronco and backed out of the driveway, one hand on the wheel while the other held yours in his lap. Neither of you knew where you were going or even had a plan but you knew it was going to be a perfect day no matter where you were.

 Grayson drove slowly through downtown LA so that you both could scan the different shops and cafes to find a place to eat. You pointed out a small breakfast/brunch place on the corner and Grayson quickly found a parking spot and pulled in. Once again Grayson rushed over to your side and opened the door for you offering his hand, which you gladly took, as you stepped out of the vehicle and made your way into the corner café. It was a cute little place and had a modernized retro look, defiantly very California.

Once you and Gray were inside you were seated and ordered rather quickly as in the car you both had mutually expressed a craving for pancakes that needed to be satisfied ASAP. You made light conversation about what you wanted to do with the rest of the day, which neither of you had any opinions for and opted to just let whatever happens happen. When your food arrived, you couldn’t help but snap a pic of Gray, I mean you were both influencers now and had to please your audience and you knew this would make the fans drool… for the pancakes of course

 @HeyItsY/N: Hey there good looking ;) …. Oh and @graysondolan is here too

 After you both devoured some of the best pancakes you’ve ever had, you paid and made your back to the car. You hesitated as Gray opened the door for you.

“Why don’t we just walk. See what we see.” You said shrugging lightly. Gray smiled shutting the door without question and locking the car again. He grabbed your hand and you two set off down the street not really sure what you were doing or where you were going.

 The day end up leading to places you wouldn’t have imagined. You and gray found a hidden park where you eventually brought food and had a picnic type lunch. You shopped around a bit at the different vintage shops around downtown LA. You bought a lot of thrifted vintage clothes and some new vinyls for the custom player Gray built. Of course, Gray had to go to the Gucci store and Louis Vuitton where you bought clothes he defiantly didn’t need but you didn’t mind because he looked hella good. You and Gray were walking along a sidewalk that had an open view of the mountains and valleys of California. It was beautiful and even though you weren’t speaking or doing much, you couldn’t have been happier than that moment. You wish you could stay here forever.

It was only about 3 o’clock and you and Gray were just getting started, still having big plans for the day. You were making your way back to the car to travel to some other nearby destination when Gray’s phone rang. He groaned and grabbed his phone out of his pocket and pressing answer before moving it to his ear.

 “Hello? … Yeah… No, I’m out with Y/N … Why, we have the day off? … Can we do this tomorrow? … Are you sure? Ok ok calm down ... we’ll head over now. See you soon.”

Grayson sighed hanging up the phone and turned around to look at you. You could tell from little bit of the conversation that you had heard that your day-off was cancled, but you knew there was nothing you could do and you could tell Grayson wasn’t happy either.

 “I’m sorry love, they need me to go to the warehouse and discuss some business shit I don’t even know. I’m sorry, I know you were looking forward to having this whole day. I promise I’ll make it up to you.”

 You sighed and nodded softly taking Grayson’s hand. “Gray its ok. There’s nothing we can do. Plus, we’ve already done so much more than we usually get too and that’s all I could ask for. This day has been amazing. Let’s go, they’ll be mad if you make them wait.” You said and kissed him softly before hopping into the car to head to the twin’s business warehouse.

The twins had bought a small warehouse/business building that they transformed into their work center. They used this to take care of business meetings, storage for their merch and a secondary filming location for shit they couldn’t film at the house.

 When you arrived at the office Grayson headed straight to the meeting room but not before leaving you with few soft kisses to hold onto as you waited in the small lounge area for him to return.

 You became restless as you moved around the lounge trying to get comfortable as Gray had been in this meeting for over an hour now. You jumped a little as you heard a door slam and Gray came from around the corner looking mad but his face melting into sadness as soon as he saw you. He sighed and grabbed your hand ignoring your questioning as he led you out to the car.

 The car ride home was silent and you anxiously starred out the window as your mind swirled with the possibilities of what had gone on in that meeting. When you pulled up to the house Grayson took a few moments, deep in thought, before pressing his lips to the back of your hand and getting out of the car, you following closely behind. You could tell whatever had happened in there was bothering him and he was torn over it and it killed you to not know, to not be able to help, but you didn’t want to push him.

 A couple of very quiet hours of walking on eggshells around Gray went by before he entered your bedroom and signed softly as he sat down next to you. You looked up at him from your laptop stopping whatever the hell you were doing to keep yourself from going crazy from the tension and silence. You shut your laptop and look at him waiting for him to speak.

“I’m sorry I haven’t talked to you. You’re probably really confused, I just needed to figure it out myself because I know you’re going to be upset.” Gray says softly looking down as he intertwined his fingers with yours. You shift and move close to him now even more curious.  Gray sighs rubbing his eyes as he figures out how to form the words to tell you what he needed to tell you. “The team has set up a bit of a radio/venue tour for me and E. It was a last-minute thing, everything fell into place, and they couldn’t pass it up. They didn’t even talk to us about it until today… They need us to leave in 2 days for London to kick it off. They said it’d probably last about 3 to 4 months.”

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion and take a second processing his words. “Can they even do that? I mean it’s your channel you get to make these decisions. You could say no if you wanted.” You barely saw Gray as it is and you live together, hell you’re married, but this would just drive a wedge between you two since you wouldn’t be able to go with him having your own job and life to take care of here in LA. You didn’t have the freedom like he did to just up and leave for 4 months.

Gray shook his head and looked at you. “I know I know. We can…to an extent. But these guys have really helped us out and this is a really great opportunity for me and E. We’d be able to reach a bigger audience and it’d be really good for the channel-”

 “Wait, you’ve been walking around all day moping your ass off for something that you WANT to happen… can’t you see that this is a horrible idea? Why can’t you just say no? Why are you letting these people control you and your lively hood?” You question pulling away from him.

 “I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you because I knew you’d react like this which quite frankly is a little selfish… This is a really good opportunity for us and it hurts that you don’t support that!” Gray said raising his voice a bit. You opened your mouth and stood up from the bed looking at him in disbelief.

 “I’m being selfish?! Oh ok, I’m sorry that I don’t want to be away from my HUSBAND who I barely get to see EVEN THOUGH WE LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE!”

 “Oh my God. I’m sorry I’m working every fucking day to make sure that we can support ourselves, that we can afford this house, that you don’t have to work as many hours as a normal human being. I’m so fucking sorry for being the fucking back bone of this relationship.”

 You had no idea how you guys had gotten to this point but there was no turning back now, everything was coming out and there was no stopping either of you.

“Are you fucking kidding me? You have probably the easiest job in the world! People would kill to have your life. You’re ‘work’ is doing dumb shit with your brother every day and posting it online! But I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize doing something you love was such a burden, I didn’t know I was such a fucking burden! …And just to be clear, YOU asked me to stop working all together, I decided to keep it to part-time so that everything didn’t fall on you, but apparently that means nothing to you! I’m sorry for fucking caring about you”

 You exchanged a few more choice and heated words back and forth for a while. You couldn’t believe he had the nerve to call you selfish when he’s the one up and leaving for the sake of “getting more followers” when the man has 18 million fans already. Gray opened his mouth to speak again but you couldn’t stand this anymore.

 “Grey I think you should go stay with Ethan. Obviously, we’re not going to get anywhere with this except just hurting each other more. I need space to think and I can’t do that with you here.” Your voice cracked a bit and at this point tears had been streaming down your cheeks for a while. Gray closed his mouth and just nodded. You were both too tired to continue with a conversation that was going nowhere. Gray stood up and left the room without say anything and made his way to E’s place, which was technically the same house just a different part, but it didn’t matter, it was far enough for you to not feel like you were suffocating anymore.

You sat down on the bed processing what had just gone down before letting a few more tears fall from your eyes as you screamed into your pillow. As clique as it sounded, it really works.

 You were exhausted and didn’t even realize you had fallen asleep until you woke up the next morning from the sun rudely shining in your face once again. You instinctively reached over to Gray’s side of the bed only to be met with an empty cold spot as memories of last night’s events replayed in your head. You didn’t want to get up, knowing the house was going to feel cold and empty, like it was swallowing you whole without his presence in it, but you also knew you couldn’t stand to speak to him yet, it would only end in more fighting. The argument was stupid to begin with but it turned into something serious as you both continued to share hidden feelings that got magnified out of proportion. You didn’t know what this meant for you especially with Gray leaving, but you had no choice but to just wait and find out.

In the past 2 days, the only sight you saw of Gray was him quickly coming into the house to gather some of his things to pack in his bags. You still hadn’t spoken. You were both stubborn as hell and it defiantly didn’t help the situation. So that night you laid down yet again in the cold, deprived of his warmth and presence.

 When you woke up the next morning, you weren’t really sure what had come over you but you just knew you needed to see him. You practically ran over to Ethan’s side of the house and didn’t even knock as you burst through the door. Your heart raced and you gently called Gray’s name but was met with silence. The house was empty. E’s bags were gone and so were Gray’s. He was just gone, without even saying goodbye. Tears slowly rolled down your cheeks and you stood there in silence. You were sad and angry but you weren’t sure what feeling was more dominate. You couldn’t believe he’d leave like that and you were heartbroken you had missed him.

 The next couple of days were a whirlwind of emotions. You had tried to call Gray a few times only to be met with his voicemail. You always made some excuse as to why he wasn’t picking up but you knew he was most likely just ignoring you. Why was he so damn stubborn? You listened to the radio shows they were on and you could swear he heard the pain in his voice, but he was so good at laughing it off that it was invisible to everyone else, but you heard it.

 It had been over three weeks since you and Gray had last spoke, which was the night of the fight. You had managed to get a hold of Ethan who sounded so desperate to help you guys but then he’d say things like “oh we have bad reception here” or “Gray’s busy” and you knew he was just trying to be a good brother and saying what Gray told him to say.

 You were driving home from work listening to the boy’s latest broadcast. You scoffed a little as the interviewer brought up their relationships and questioned how all was going, what the future held for their family, etc. Grayson covered it up with “Oh it’s really great. We’re really good. Happy.” It was a lie. The audience had no idea. The listeners would have no idea. No one had any idea what your reality was. Everyone saw these celebrities and their families as perfect people, absolute couple goals if you will, they saw the love and beauty, they saw the pictures you meticulously chose to post, they saw what you wanted them to see. They didn’t see the pain, or the long nights, the fights, or the going to bed without your husband by your side, they didn’t see the struggles.

 You were deep in your thoughts that the next few moments were all a blur. It was about 7 o’clock, already dark out and you drove carefully, LA was a mad house at this hour, especially since it was Friday night. You proceed forward when your light turns green yet within moments your car is jolted to the side. The loud horn blared in the background, it sounded so distant, so faint. It took a moment for you to realize you were on your side. Your head pounded and your vision was blurry. You could faintly make out people yelling trying to talk to you and your mind screamed to just say something to them but your body failed. The red and blue flashing lights streaming through your shattered windshield was the last thing you remembered before everything faded into black, a piercing ringing in your ears before complete silence.

When you woke up, it wasn’t to the usual rude sunlight you were used to pouring through your window. No, rather, the room was very dark, an annoying beeping filled your ears, and you felt a heaviness weighing down your arm. It took a few seconds for you to actually collect yourself. Your throat felt like the fucking desert, your right arm was in a cast and sling, and your body felt like it had been hit with a ton of bricks. You shifted and looked over to see Gray holding your hand, his head rested on your arm as he slept. You moved your hand softly and nudged him.

“Gray… Gray… Grayson fucking Dolan wake up.” You managed to croak out before Gray finally shot up, his expression a bit disoriented before lighting up at the sight of you awake. He didn’t even hesitate as he pulled you into a hug, gripping you softly, scared he’d hurt your damaged body even further.

“Oh my god…Y/N… I’m so sorry... I’m so so sorry. Baby I thought-” Gray started to ramble before you cut him off, gently shushing him.

“Just shut up please.… Don’t think about anything. Just tell me you love me and hold me tighter.” You whispered softly as you held back tears. You vaguely remembered what happened but in this moment, you chose not to.

“I love you, I do… I love you so fucking much and I could never say it enough.” Gray whispered back, fighting his own tears. You and Grayson just held each other for a while before a nurse finally came in.

 “Oh, you’re awake. Thank God. We were getting a bit  worried.” She said and she walked over to your bed and poured you a glass of water. Gray sat back in his seat but kept holding your hand in one of his while he held the cup up for you with the other so you could drink from the straw. The nurse asked some basic questions and checked your vitals before looking at you seriously. “Do you remember anything that happened?”

 You sighed laying your head back and closed your eyes. Everything was a blur. “I was in an accident, that’s obvious. I remember sitting at the light listening to Gray on the radio. I remember driving forward when I got the green light. I remember the horn, it was loud but everything seemed to happen in slow motion so to me it sounded far away and distorted and then a jerk. I remember it was blurry but I could see my windshield shattered, I-I could see blood on my hands and I could feel it dripping down my face. I remember the sirens and the police lights and then nothing and now I’m here.” You concluded taking a deep breath and opening your eyes. Gray wiped a stray tear from his cheek and sniffled softly trying to cover up his crying. The nurse nodded and took some notes.

“That’s good you remember. Yes, you were in an accident. It was a drunk driver. He ran the red and t-boned you. Your car flipped three times. You broke your right arm and three ribs. You twisted your leg bad but it’s not broken or anything. You hit your head bad and have a few stitches and a severe concussion and you’ve been unconscious for the past three days.” The nurse said gently trying to fill you in without scaring you. You nodded softly and thanked her before she left.

 You turned to Grayson and squeezed his hand. “Hey. It’s ok. I’m ok. Please don’t cry.” Grayson chuckled and shook his head wiping his eyes again. “Damn I thought I covered it up… You know me too well.”

 The next couple of days were spent trying to get your strength back. It was a bit more than a week before you were able to go home. The doctors just wanted to make sure you had no neuro damage because you were out for so long. You had a brace on your leg to help but you could walk… kind of… that is when Grayson actually let you. At home Grayson waited on you hand and foot and made sure you were ALWAYS comfortable.

 It had been about a week and you convinced Gray to let you have some bit of freedom. Grayson finally stopped sleeping on the couch as you convinced him he wasn’t going to crush you or hurt you.

 You stirred in your sleep and reached over to pull Grayson’s warm body closer to your freezing one, but you were met with his empty cold pillow. You furrowed your eyebrows as you opened your eyes. You checked your phone for the time, 2:35am. Shit.

 You groaned softly as you pushed yourself up, your whole body still aching and screaming at you to lie down again but you needed to go find your husband. You threw on your robe and slowly made your way out of the bedroom and to the kitchen/living room area. The house was dark except for a single lamp dimly lighting the sofa area. You watched as Grayson sat on the couch wearing only his plaid pajama pants, starting at the black TV in from of him. When you made your way to him you gently placed your hand on his shoulder, careful not to scare him. He looked up at you, his eyes bloodshot and you could tell, even in the poor lightly, that he’d been crying.

“Gray? Love? What are you doing up?” You questioned as you sat beside him wrapping your arm around his shoulder. He opened his mouth to respond but simply shook his head as he buried his face in the palm of his hands, soft cries escaping his lips. You pulled him close and just held him letting him calm down.

 “Gray baby what’s wrong?” You questioned gently as his cries subsided. He lifted his head to look at you and pulled you close to him.

“I’m so sorry… I’m so fucking sorry...”

“For what? You have nothing to be sorry for”

“Yes, I do…I fucked up… I made you believe you were worthless to me, that you were selfish and then I just left… I’m a terrible husband... I mean who the fuck leaves his wife in the middle of an argument like that and goes half way across the whole damn world refusing to even talk to her on the phone. I’m so fucked.” Gray speaks, voice cracking softly ever so often. This is the first either of you had spoken about the fight. In light of everything that happened you had thought you would just move on, but it was clear it was still a crushing reality.

 “And I… I could have lost you Y/N…You could have died and the last thing I would have said to you would have been something so crushing, telling you you’re a burden, making you believe I hated you…I wouldn’t have been able to live with myself…” Gray whispers looking down at the ground ashamed. You sighed wiping away tears from your cheeks before cupping his cheeks in your hands and making him look at you.

 “I didn’t die. I right here. I’m ok. We were lucky. If anything we should be looking at this as a second chance. We’re not finished. Our story isn’t over. I still have so much love to give you. I’m not finished with you Grayson Dolan. There’s so many adventures we still need to on, I still haven’t given you a baby yet, or taught you how to actually cook a damn meal. Yeah, you may be an ass sometimes, but you’re mine, so don’t you think for a minute I would die on you without kissing you one last time, or reminding you that your fans love me more than you...” You giggled sniffling softly at the joke. When you and Gray went public with your relationship the fans were so supportive and loving that Gray was constantly saying that they loved you more than him, so it became a running joke between everyone. It may be the Dolan Twin’s channel, but you were the star.

Grayson shook his head chuckling and kissed you softly. “I love you so much Y/N Dolan. You are the most caring selfless person I know and I have no idea how you can love me, but I thank God every day that you do.” Grayson smiled before kissing you passionately. You both cuddled on the couch for a while, neither of you tired anymore, just feeling content in each other’s presences.

The next day Grayson sat down with Ethan and their team and made sure the rest of the tour was canceled. Grayson and Ethan agreed they wanted more control over their work and had their managers and marketing team back off and those who didn’t were fired. After business was done, Gray and E sat down in front of the camera and made a video to the fans. They explained what had happened over the last few weeks and really opened up about their lives. They let the fans know that they would be taking a short break to focus on their family and when they came back they would start making content that they actually loved, and it would be on their own time and not just for the sake of feeling obligated to post. As the video came to a close Grayson talked to the camera about how important this was to them and how they hoped the fans could support this because this is how it should have been a long time ago.

“So that’s that. It’s been rough, but we’re figuring it out. If these past couple of weeks have taught me anything it’s that life’s too short to be worried about this kind of stuff or to be mad at people. You need to focus on the now, on this moment. Hug the people close to you and tell them you love them, because you never know when they’ll be gone. I’m lucky to be given a second chance to love unconditionally and uncontrollably. I wish I would have realized that sooner but I’m so grateful I have now. Life’s too short not to love. And please know we love you guys and we’re so grateful for all the continued support through everything. You guys are unreal. Thank you for everything… Until next time. Peace.”

[thorne93]

First Impressions (Part 15)

Prompt: Imagine your friend, Anthony Mackie, brings you with him to an event and introduces you to his friend, Sebastian, who’s blown away by you. He immediately starts flirting and acting silly because you make him nervous and he just wants to impress you

Warnings: flirting (adult style), language (always, with me, come on), and drama (later on in the fic) angst...

Word Count: 3755

Notes: If anyone has kids or wives out of the celebrities mentioned, in this universe, they sort of don’t exist….Just for the sake of keeping it concise. Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes (because shes perfectly amazing) and I could NOT, not, just not have done any of this at all without my amazing girl, @amarvelouswritings

So sorry this is late. I was very sick (still am, but getting better) and I was waiting on my beta ;)

Forever Tags: @amarvelouswritings @cocosierra94 @essie1876 @magpiegirl80 @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @harleyquinnandscarletwitch @iamwarrenspeace @marvel-imagines-yes-please @superwholocked527 @myparadise1982sand @missinstantgratification @thejulesworld @rda1989 @marvelloushamilton @munlis  @bubblyanarocks3​ @thefridgeismybestie​ @random-fluffy-pink-unicorn @hardcollectionworldtrash @igiveupicantthinkofausername @kaliforniacoastalteens​

Sebastian Stan Tag: @nedthegay @lostinspace33 @alwayshave-faith @elleatrixlestrange @buenostardissherlock  @lenawiinchester​ @the-red-world-of-jess-chibi​ @memory-of-a-goldfish

Chris Evans Tag (Normally wouldn’t, but he’s featured a lot): @nedthegay​ @camigt1999​  @lostinspace33​​ @alwayshave-faith​ @elleatrixlestrange

First Impressions Tag: @goodnightwife​​ @spacemarkimoo​ @masha-meow01​ @axelinchen @smuoooshie​ @hollycornish @seargantbcky @mellsstark @lyfewithtrish @cinema212 @sophiealiice @yes-this-is-doggo @sky-weirdo @feelmyroarrrr  @scamandaaaamn

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“How did it go?” Hayden asked as he came into your bedroom where you were laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling and smoking. Once he saw you, he answered his own question. “Ah, that good, eh?”

“Hay...” you started before he climbed on the bed and kissed you to quiet you and your worries.

“Why don’t you just tell him how you feel?” he asked as he took the cigarette and took a puff.

“Because I did...and it scares me,” you admitted. “I’ve never felt this way with anyone.”

“I know that,” he said, still smoking. You turned to face him.

“And I don’t want the greatest love of my life to turn into the biggest heartache…”

He sighed beside you as he turned to face you and put his arm over you. “You can’t live your life like this. Wondering if everything will turn out alright. Worried or terrified if it won’t.”

“Hay--”

He gave you a look that made you stop talking. “I know...I know you’ve been hurt by people. I know you’ve opened yourself up and they destroyed your trust and love. So I know...I know how scary this is for you.”

“So what do I do? Just take the plunge?” you asked.

“You give faith a shot,” he tried.

“And then what? What if my fear of committing and his ability to commit to everything blows up in our face?”

“I doubt it would. Think about it,” he tried. “You’re only fearful because of losing a guy, right? Clearly that’s not going to be the case with him.”

“But what if we stay around each other too long and we begin to resent everything about each other? I mean, he was with Marissa for seven months, and he couldn’t stand her for five of them. I don’t want that for us.”

“No one does. But do you want to spend the rest of your life wondering ‘what if?’ or would you rather find out for yourself?”

“Are you back to the whole ‘better to have loved and lost’ thing?” you questioned, groaning.

“I am. Because it’s true. You know it too. Even when some of the guys were major assholes, there were still good memories with some of them, right?”

You reluctantly agreed. “Well, yeah.”

“So see? It’s not all bad. I can’t tell you what to do, Y/N,” he said as he put the hair behind your ear. “I’ll tell you to follow your heart. I’ll be here for you no matter your choice.”

You smiled gently at him, grabbing his hand and lacing your fingers through it. “How did I ever deserve someone like you?”

“You’re damned pretty, that’s how,” he said before he kissed your nose. “Now, pizza or take out? We’re having a movie night, we’re curling up on the couch, and we’re taking your mind off this.”

“Take out.”

“Okay then. I’ll order it while you find a movie and get the couch setup.”

“Yes, sir,” you said as you laughed.

--------------------------

A buzz woke you up from your nice, deep slumber.

“Birthday Party for Sebastian. Next Sunday. 4:00 PM!”

Invite from Bee. Joy. You put your phone back on the nightstand and got comfortable again as Hayden wrapped his arm around you. You two had a very laid back night and you didn’t think about Sebastian for the rest of the night...well, tried not to. The Romanian prick invaded your mind more than once without permission.

You wanted to be with Sebastian, of course you did. But between hiding that he was with someone and your fear that the relationship will fall apart like all the others, you just weren’t ready to do that. To ruin the friendship. Although...you weren’t too sure that wasn’t already happening.

“We’re invited to Sebastian’s birthday party,” you said sleepily with your eyes closed.

“Mmm, guess we need to go gift shopping,” he hummed to you.

“I’m not going.”

“It’s up to you,” he said quietly.

--------------

Once you were actually up for the day, you responded to the invite.

“I’m not coming,” you sent via text. You could’ve lied and said you couldn’t make it. Said you were sick at the last second. Said you needed to take your dog to the vet, but you hated lying. There was no point to do it. The situation between you and Sebastian was already fucked all to hell anyway, lying to your mutual friend wouldn’t help anything.

It didn’t surprise you at all to get a call from her as soon as you sent it.

“Hello?”

“Hi. What do you mean you aren’t coming?” she demanded.

“I thought it was pretty self explanatory,” you sarcastically replied.

“No shit. I mean, why aren’t you coming?”

“I just don’t think it’s a good idea,” you admitted as you poured your second cup of coffee.

“It’s his fucking birthday. You’re coming,” she insisted angrily.

“Precisely my point. It’s his birthday. I’m not going to ruin it with my presence there.”

“How would you ruin it?” she wondered, annoyance in her tone.

“I think it would be awkward. I don’t think he would have a good time with me there. It would be a sore reminder that we’re...not on the best of terms.”

“So don’t come as Y/N the complicated girl. Come as Y/N his best friend,” she tried.

“Bee…”

“Please? Just come. I think he would really want you there.”

“I’ll think about it.”

“Okay, you think about it, and meanwhile I’ll hunt you down and drag you to the party myself.”

You laughed. “I’d like to see you try,” you said teasingly.

“Just please come,” she said in a more serious tone.

“I will think about it,” you vowed.

“Alright, I guess that’s all I can ask.”

-------------------------

“Come on, man! Let’s do another shot,” Anthony said as he tried to call Sebastian over from the kitchen.

Sebastian nodded to his friend and waved, signaling he would be over in a second.

“Chris, do something,” Brittney said to her husband in a hushed whisper as they gazed on to the birthday boy. He looked so depressed. Anyone could clearly see that. He barely smiled all night. Barely engaging in the drinking games and mingling.

It was 6:15 PM. You were supposed to be there by now and you weren’t. You and Sebastian hadn’t seen each other the entire week because he had to go to New York for a promo and an interview and you had to do the same in LA, so filming for your project was on hold.

“What do you want me to do?” he asked.

“I don’t know. Cheer him up, he’s your best friend.”

“I think we both know what’s got him down and nothing I do is gonna help. Unless I grow tits,” he said before drinking his beer. Brittney hit him on his arm, playfully.

“Ugh. I hate seeing him like this, especially on his birthday. I don’t see how she couldn’t come,” she said, getting angry.

“Bee,” he chastised softly.

“I know, I know, it’s not our place,” she said, mocking her husband’s voice of righteousness. “I just….why wouldn’t she come?”

“Well, according to Seb, they still don’t know where they stand,” Chris informed, his eyes following Sebastian to the table in the giant living room where he was going to do some more shots. Some of the Marvel cast was there, along with other friends of Sebastian’s.

He was on his fifth shot, ready to get blitzed drunk from missing you.

Suddenly, someone shouted over the music, “Y/N! You’re here!”

Sebastian’s head snapped up to the front door.

“Y/N,” he breathed, seeing you, and Hayden enter. A pretty wrapped present in hand. You were breathtaking even in a simple t-shirt and black jeans and boots.

“Yeah, sorry I’m late,” you said casually as you walked in. Brittney ran up to you and grabbed the present.

“You made it,” she noted.

“Yeah.”

“Thank you,” she said with a loaded tone. You smiled and nodded. Chris escorted Hayden to get him a drink as you walked straight for Sebastian, pulling him into a tight hug.

“Happy birthday,” you said.

“Thank you,” he said sweetly as you pulled away to look at him, your hands on his biceps.

“You look great,” you complimented with a sweet smile.

“I could say the same for you,” he replied as he looked you over, the biggest smile planted on his face, making his eyes crinkle at the corners.

“Care to play vodka pong?” he asked, gesturing to the table. “Much like beer pong, but more fun.”

“Sure, but I’ll have you know I’m the champion,” you said in a challenging voice.

“Oh, is that so?” he dared, his eyebrows shooting up.

You played against Sebastian, and won by a landslide. Aside from beer pong, there were board games set up, card games, the pool was open to those who wanted to swim, as well as the volleyball court. Sebastian was a kid at heart so all of these games were just up his alley. His mood improved by 100%, but you had no idea of that. You assumed he was having a good time with or without you.

Throughout the night you played a board game or two, card game, a drinking game here or there, and mingled with friends. You found yourself outside, leaning against the fence, looking out over the twinkling city when Mackie approached you.

“Hey, haven’t seen you for a while. How’s everything been?” he asked as he joined you, putting his arms on the fence, a beer in hand.

“Same ole, same ole. I’ve been good. You?”

“Oh, I’d be better if I knew a good friend of mine wasn’t bullshitting me,” he said, smirking slightly.

You laughed and dipped your head down. “So you know, huh?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard a little, how you and birthday boy have some relationship problems. That why you were late tonight?” he wondered, looking at you.

“Yeah, I wasn’t sure I wanted to come...or sure he wanted me here or…”

“So what’s the deal with you two?”

You sighed. “Oh, that’s a long complicated story…”

“I ain’t goin’ anywhere,” he said.

You half-smiled and explained, “Well, we had chemistry. Right? Well we work together, hang out, I’m starting to really feel something for him, when suddenly, one day, on set, his girlfriend walks in. At first, no big deal, right? He’s taken. I’ll move on. But I can’t. I couldn’t. I wanted him. Everything is cool, but then he knocks out the dick producer, and Marissa lays into him. I start dating Hayden, nothing serious, just to get me ready to move on, I guess. Then one night, we’re at a party, here, and she just lays into me. I think she was jealous because she could see what was going on between us. I don’t blame her for being jealous, but I do blame her for being a bitch,” you said, a small laugh coming from you. Anthony smirked and nodded.

“So, what now?”

“Now, now we’re trying to figure out if we--I want to make this work.”

“Well why wouldn’t you?” he asked.

“It’s not that I don’t want to, it’s that I’m scared to do this song and dance again, to be let down. Sure, Sebastian seems different but...he lied about his girlfriend, and flirted with me. If he acted like that with her, what will be different about me?”

“Look, I don’t know him as well as Chris does or some other people, but I know him pretty well. I’d say the way he acts around you, I’ve never see that on anyone. Not for him. He looks at you like you’re the sun and the moon, man.”

“Doesn’t change how he treated the Marissa situation. Speaking of, why didn’t you mention that when you introduced us?” you questioned.

“Didn’t come up,” he said simply. “Not my place to put it out there that he’s not available. That’s between you two.”

You sighed. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

“I’m just sayin’, birthday boy in there looked like someone killed his dog before you showed up. Since then, he can’t stop smiling. As far as Marissa...I think he was caught. He told me he was going to leave her for a while, but he wasn’t sure you were all that into him. He didn’t know if you were just flirty or serious. He was still trying to repair him and Marissa and he probably didn’t want to throw that away on a hunch or a whim. He might’ve asked himself ‘Do I leave my girlfriend, the relationship I’m trying to repair. Or do I say to hell with it and try it with this new girl?’ I’m not saying he should’ve stayed with her, god no, that woman was trouble from the time she walked into his life, but you gotta cut him some slack. He might’ve thought he would break up with Marissa before you knew about them, and he could just be with you.”

That thought stuck with you. Perhaps that was an option. Perhaps he was hoping he would leave her before it even needed to be addressed and he could just go into another relationship without all the drama of a triangle that happened anyway.

Just as you were about to reply, a familiar voice called outside. “Present time! Get your asses in here!”

You and Anthony smiled at each other as he gestured for you to lead the way.

The two of you joined everyone else as Sebastian sat at the smaller dining room table in the dining-living room portion of the house.

“Jesus, I’m so nervous with all of you standing around staring at me,” Sebastian admitted, looking at everyone. Everyone laughed in response.

“Oh, shut up, just open the presents,” Bee lovingly said.

He smiled and nodded as he went one by one through the gifts. He got a gift card to a nice tuxedo shop, gift card to Amazon, a few ties, a travel mug, and then your gift came up.

“Ah, from Y/N,” he noted as he read the card. “This better be good after all the hours you made me work for this movie so far,” he said teasingly. Hayden stroked your back lightly with his thumb knowing you were nervous about your gift. Sebastian unwrapped it and looked at it.

“What is this?” he questioned, eyeing the box. “Oh, Jesus, it’s a gadget of some kind. Why the hell would you get my technologically crippled ass a gadget?” he asked in a joking manner.

“It’s sort of a nanny cam,” you said as you rounded the table to sit next to him to show him. “You set this up and you can remotely view your apartment on your phone. I know how you said you miss Spinee when you’re away for work, this is a way you can connect to him. It even has a feature where you can speak to him so you could talk to him and comfort him.”

Sebastian looked stunned. “Wow...Y/N, that is really thoughtful. Thank you.” He leaned over and kissed your cheek, making you blush.

He lingered, looking at your face a little longer before he got back to the other presents. He got quite a few nice presents, but yours seemed the most sentimental.

Afterwards, Bee presented a beautiful cake for him, sparkling candles on top as she carefully carried it into the dark room. Chris had to start the singing for Happy Birthday because no one wanted to be the sucker who started the most awkward song in history. He blew out the candle and cake was served.

By now, it was later at night and once a few people had their cake, they were making their way home. The party was dwindling down and you were outside with Hayden, catching a smoke break. You were trying your best to be “best friend Y/N” tonight and not “love-torn Y/N” as Bee had put it, but being around him, it hurt, so you had to take a breather and Hayden was your crutch so he joined you.

“Pretty out, isn’t it?” Bee said as she crossed the patio and lawn to you two.

“Yeah, it is,” you noted softly.

As soon as she reached you, she said, “Thank you for coming to his party.”

You knew that was a way to start talking about the issues between you two so you looked to Hayden who gave a small smile, nodded, took his cigarette and walked off.

“Are you here to tell me I need to just go for it? Just be with him?” you asked as you turned around and rested your arms against the fence, leaning over.

“Yes, I am,” she concurred, walking up and mimicking your action. “It’s not such a bad idea, right? One hell of a birthday present,” she said, elbowing your arm.

A sad smile crossed your face. “Bee...I can’t...Not right now.”

“Why not? What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m afraid of ruining this…I’m afraid of destroying what we have. I don’t want us to be bitter memories to each other.”

“Why are you so certain that’s what’s going to happen?” she questioned.

For this, you had no answer. You simply shook your head. “I’m not sure. I just don’t want it to.”

“I get that. I get that you're scared but….he’s really happy when you’re around,” she said desperately.

You laughed without humor softly. “So I’ve heard.”

“Just give it a chance. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“We could break each other’s hearts,” you said simply.

She sighed. “Or you could mend each other’s!”

“Why are you pushing for this so hard?’ you questioned. “Why do you care so damned much if we’re together or not?”

“Because I saw how you were before you knew about Marissa. How happy you seemed. How alive you were around him. And the same for him. Before Marissa he had a handful of women break his heart, and I waited so long to see him happy, so then when I saw him get stuck in that shitty relationship, I was sad for him. Then you came along and I thought you would be the one to get him out of it. And I was right. You two were so happy around each other, I saw it, I watched it. Now that you’re miles apart inside, it’s tragic. I just want my two best friends to be happy. Don’t get me wrong, Hayden is an amazing guy, but you act different with him. You two seem to gravitate to each other, reclusing to the corner of the room. When I met you though, you were vibrant, vivacious, so full of life...both you and Seb were. And now, it’s like watching the life die in your eyes. It’s heartbreaking to watch.”

You never noticed it, but she was right. You used to go out and do things, run parties, host charity balls for the animals, you did all sorts of adrenaline pumping activities. Now you sat at home if you weren’t working. You assumed it was being tired from directing and the long hours but now...you realized she was right. There was a definite switch from the moment you knew Sebastian wasn’t yours.

“Just give me some time, Bee. Please. I can’t make a decision with everyone telling me to do something.”

“I understand, I’m sorry,” she apologized lightly.

“Bee!” Chris called out into the dark yard. “Some of the guests are leaving babe!”

“Be right there!” she called back. “Well, I need to go grab the doggie bags for them.” She smiled at you and walked away.

You stayed out there, letting the cool breeze hit you as you stared over the city. Maybe Bee, Hayden, Anthony and everyone was right. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to be with Seb. Even if he broke your heart. Or maybe it would hurt worse than anything you ever encountered. Hayden had a point that you couldn’t live your life in fear. And usually you didn’t but after a long string of failed relationships, you didn’t want to let Sebastian or yourself down. Bee and Anthony both said you seemed to make him happy, and you knew he made you happy...so what would be the harm? Well, the harm could be that you ruin a perfectly good friendship and destroy any semblance of a relationship you have.

You weren’t sure how long you were standing there when another voice hit you.

“Want some company?”

You smiled and turned around. “Well if it isn’t the Birthday boy himself,” you said in a flirty voice.

“Yeah,” he said with a bit of a laugh.

“The big three-five, right?” you asked once he got next to you.

“Yeah, I’m over the hill now,” he joked.

“Nonsense. You’ll always be impeccably handsome,” you admitted.

“It’s a beautiful night out here. Why are you out here all alone?” he wondered. “I didn’t scare you out here, did I?”

A sad smile fell upon your lips as you put your hand on his. “Sebastian, you could never scare me away.”

To this, he grinned.

“I’m glad to hear that. Thank you so much for coming, it means a lot to me.”

“I wasn’t going to, at first,” you admitted.

“Why?”

“Didn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.”

“That could never happen, Y/N.”

“Good.”

“You must’ve known you were going to come though,” he said.

“And why is that?” you wondered.

“Because of the gift you bought. That isn’t something you just swing by a store and grab. You put thought into it, which I highly appreciate. Everyone else got me...well...I love their gifts, I appreciate all of it….but no one knows me like you do.”

You laughed it off lightly as you held onto the railing of the fence and leaned back.

“Sebastian, I just listen is all.”

“That’s my point. You’re the first woman to ever do that with me. You actually give a shit about me.”

You nodded your head side to side. “Yes, I do,” you freely admitted.

After a moment, Sebastian suddenly asked, “Have you thought about what I said?”

You nodded. “I’ve thought on it every day.”

“And?” he pressed.

“And we’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”

Sebastian’s face fell a little but he nodded. He knew you needed your space. He knew your worries about all this. “Sure. Alright.”

You leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Happy Birthday, Sebastian.”

[lvebug]

THERE IS LOVE IN THIS STORY.      an independent marvel comics / spider-man oc. with love, from dee.      @lvebug

[lvebug]

my hands have made some good mistakes. they can always make better ones.

LOVEBUG! — an independent & selective blog for a marvel comics oc. authored by dee (she/they, 22)

[lvebug]

an andie eliot reading guide (tags drop pt 1)