#HPHM Datamines

[ariparri]

WHAT DID THEY DO TO MY BOY?!?! (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

He looks like his name would be Pablo .°(ಗдಗ。)°. Give him back his long hair!

[libellule-ao3]

So they haven't forgotten Alanza! 😂

Very disappointed with Jacob's appearance...

Another update

[missnight0wl]

So, I checked The Datamine Prophet for the first time in months, and, uhm...

CALLUM IS GONNA BE DATEABLE?!

FREAKING CALLUM MCCLINTOCK?!?!

MY BOY CALLUM?!?!?!

👀👀👀👀👀👀

It's absolutely not enough to make me catch up with the game, but holy fuck. Also, both his reward and his portrait look absolutely gorgeous. And yes, I'd still prefer it if he was real Jacob, but damn.

Pure dead brilliant. Love that for you.

(Also also, I actually got his friendship reward a while ago already - it looks really shitty on MC 😞)

[indigobackfire]

ADULT ISMELDA 💀🖤

Honestly, she's not bad at all. They didn't proportion her face quite right, but the look is not disagreeable, though they could've been more creative.

I was gonna add some pictures but I'll link my Pinterest file I made for her. They could've gone more 90s goth, or some Victorian goth academia since I assume she'd go into history studies and she's a literal witch so...

But all and all, she's still my goth baby.

[defoozor]

There are many things weird about Victor, and I’m fully convinced he’s not actually a vampire

But even if he’s a fake wannabe vamp, you’d think he’d wear fake fangs, or use a charm, or anything at all, right?

Guess what, JC didn’t think of it and all his versions have generic teeth that every human NPC has.

Worry not, I spent precisely half a minute to fix that, so - enjoy what we could’ve had this entire time.

[ariparri]

PLUSHIES 👀

[deafblindshorty]

WARNING! SPOILERS FROM DATAMINE PROPHET 128!

So, the latest Datamine Prophet for HPHM shows a picture of an evidence board with a photo of Penny on it. Either she went to the dark side or she's gone missing or was found dead. I have a theory about that.

Year 8 is Harry's first year, the year Voldy is searching for the Sorceror's Stone and is possessing Quirrell. Remember how in the newest Romance TSLQ Penny was looking into the Sorceror's Stone (to ensure she and MC have a happy ending? I know, I know, she's not everyone's love interest- it could be Merula or Talbott or Barnaby looking into the SS. And if it was, Penny would have most likely known about it.). And also, if I'm not mistaken, another future quest is helping Dumbledore and the teachers set the traps for the Sorceror's Stone at Hogwarts.

What if Quirrell somehow found out Penny (or one of her friends) looked into the SS and kidnapped her for interrogation? Once he got the info he needed, he either put a powerful memory charm on her or killed her.

[bluerosesburnblue]

Actually, on the heels of that HPHM finale rant, I've gotta also rant about the romance sidequest this month because wow. Wow that was so bad. We got hit with a double-whammy of bad and I'd even read the datamines beforehand and still cringed

So, okay, minor issues first:

Why is Madam Rosmerta offering us a romantic date night as a reward for delivering the package in the first place? How do you know we even have someone to take to a date or want to go on a date? If we're renting out the entire upstairs area, why not have it be for a party with several friends? Huh???

Professor McGonagall reluctantly tells us about her husband but states that it's private and she doesn't normally tell students, MC then immediately tells all their friends like a huge fucking asshole. Stop that. Rude.

They're never called out for that, by the way

Here we have a romance quest where our romantic interest is in three scenes, and one of those is an ensemble scene. Woooooooow. How romantic. Yes, yes, romance has nothing to do with bonding with the individual in question, it's all about comparing your romance to other people's

And even beyond all that, you want to tell me that the final leg of the story is about how MC's date stood them up to find the Elixir of Life??? The only way they'd find the connection between Flamel and the Elixir would be if they were looking at alchemy books if we take Sorcerer's/Philosopher's Stone into account, and I have no idea why they'd do that if they were looking for love stories. And also, what??? That doesn't even make any sense for the majority of the dates

Barnaby and Penny I can kind of understand. Barnaby is the type to be in the moment, forget about his date plans, and go on a mad dash to find the Elixir without truly realizing how rare it is. Penny notoriously makes terrible decisions under duress (see: the entire Beatrice situation in Y5) and as a top Potions student might know a bit about the Elixir. Both are the type of people to be overly-romantic and get stressed at the idea of losing their lover one day. I buy this plot with these two

But everyone else?

Talbott and Chiara might find the idea of eternal love with their partner appealing due to the people they've lost in the past and their individual traumas, however, both of their friendship quests follow the basic plotline of them trying to do something totally on their own and pushing everyone away, failing, and then only succeeding when they get help from MC. Even if they did want to find the Elixir, I can't see either of them being impulsive enough to miss the date to do it. They'd go to the date and talk it over with MC first because that's the relationship they've built with us (this is also why their friendship quests should be mandatory to date them and/or just worked into the main plot at this point)

Andre and Badeea are both artsy people, and part of art is changing. Neither of them are the type to think to themselves "oh, I want to preserve the love I have right now for all time," they'd probably both be more like Celestina, open to what comes. Not to say that either of them are disloyal or couldn't find one person to love, but that they're more flexible in their love and open to the changes that aging and endings would bring. At least, that's the vibe that I get from both of them

And then Jae and Merula. I mean, I don't believe for a second that Merula actually gives a damn about anyone but herself, but if we're looking at specifically romance sidequest Merula, then even then I really don't see her doing something like this for any reason other than to prove herself better than other people in a "see, I have the Elixir of Life because I'm the best!" type of deal. Like, even if she got called out for it, I don't think she'd actually be apologetic the way that the date is in the sidequest. I think she'd be ranting about how McGonagall stopped her from developing "the most powerful love at Hogwarts" or something. And Jae... I don't know, finding the Elixir just seems like too much work for him? Jae's too practical. I feel like Jae would be the type to be like "okay, but if we do live forever, where are our retirement funds going to come from?" He certainly wouldn't be going to Mundungus of all people for an Elixir. Jae feels the most out-of-character with this

It's just such a stupid, out of nowhere plot point that derails the whole sidequest and doesn't even make sense in-character for most of the dates and it's just really awful. Someone actually approved this, and that's the craziest part to me

------------------------------------------------------

Funny enough, the way that I spaced the characters out is actually the same way that I think of them in the dating mechanic. And I mean that in that I feel like they're counterparts to each other, being one male option and one female option for different character archetypes, which has kind of been my theory for why they were picked for dating options in the first place

Barnaby and Penny are the conventionally attractive, popular ones who are more emotionally open. The types to gush about their lover, talk about how in love they are, put their all into the relationship. They're both also very friendly people, but might be easy to push around in relationships due to their people-pleasing natures that would come out tenfold with their lovers

Talbott and Chiara are the quiet, brooding types with troubled pasts whose friendship and loyalty are hard-won, yet completely unbreakable once you do. They're comfortable being independent, and as lovers they're thoughtful and prefer their relationships to be in private. The types to like simple quality time with their partners above all else and would do what they can to make things work for both of you, rather than completely sacrificing their own comfort like Barnaby and Penny, though they may be inclined to make some sacrifices for fear of losing their partner

Andre and Badeea are both more whimsical, artistic types. They're creatives constantly thinking of the beauty of the world, probably the types to hand-make gifts for their lovers. Open to experimenting, but secure in their own selves to refuse what they don't like, not that they won't be making suggestions, too. They'd be the types to find a balance with their partners, like Talbott and Chiara, but are less rigid in what they're willing to try in love. They're open with their feelings, both to their lover and the people around them

Jae and Merula are the troublemakers. The ones looking for a partner in crime, but who would be willing to make that role worth your while. Willing to mess with you and be playful in the relationship, and who might be a bit more demanding because they won't compromise themselves for your sake. Admittedly, these two don't match up that well, but I think that's more Merula's fault than anything because that girl should NOT be a love interest at all. Replace her with Tulip, though, who WOULD make a great date option, and this works out a lot better. Merula is selfish and I genuinely can't see her thinking about a relationship as anything more than propping her own ego up, but Jae and Tulip are both the types to break or bend the rules a bit to see their lover happy and deal with the consequences, and are equally as likely to take their lover on a surprise date as they are to get their lover embroiled in some less-than-scrupulous plot

[avidrawsthings]

Wonder if they'll have older Talbott in the same jacket as the other guys but make it blue LMAO

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

how long after the main story do you think this post hogwarts story supposed to be, i mean i know it’s called “year 8” but does that mean it’s straight after graduation/summer holidays or? cuz some of these characters look barely any older than their current appearances despite the height difference, while others look several years older. we’ll find out eventually i suppose.

I think that question is better answered by looking at the books themselves and trying to figure out how Harry’s story could concievably overlap with MC’s story. Because that’s what the writers need to be considering. MC can’t really have any interaction with Harry that is in any way memorable. Though they could be one of the crowd who sees him arrive at The Leaky Cauldron. Several people introduced themselves to Harry in that scene. Easy enough for MC to just slip into the crowd. Could also imagine Hagrid asking for MC’s input on what pet to get Harry if and when he’s out of earshot.

The trouble here is the question of how long this story can feasibly go on. I sincerely doubt they’ll drag it out all the way through Deathly Hallows…but then again, I never expected “Year 8” at all. I figured the story would be resolved at the end of Year 7. But now that I think on it, there are a couple of issues with that. 1) If R has people all around the globe, it may take another seven years to deal with them. 2) Like you mentioned, the outfits. They took a lot of time and went to a great deal of trouble to adult-ify the characters. Seems like a bit of a waste to just give them a handful of chapters.

Either way, I wouldn’t think too hard about the time-skip and how much the characters have physically aged. That was never going to make much sense. It’s just willing suspension of disbelief that they didn’t age for seven years, and then suddenly transformed from how they looked at eleven to how they look at eighteen. Presumably they were all aging gradually and we just never saw it because of programming limitations. The time-skip is likely to just be the same as ever, meaning we fast forward through the summer. Though as MC is out of school now, that might not even be necessary. Just depends on how soon they move to London. Boy howdy, that’s going to be interesting for Luca. You can take the Mage out of Sheffield but you can’t take Sheffield out of the Mage.

[dat-silvers-girl]

OKAY-

OKAY JAM CITY WHO DID THIS?

I'd like to meet you and shake your hand.

[ariparri]

Diego is traveling the world! I need to start brainstorming ideas for Diego and Veruca's post Hogwarts relationship!

[ariparri]

Erika and Orion look great!

And Jules's skirt is now being worn as a shirt xD

[missnight0wl]

Since I’m complaining about JC today already can we talk about how fucked up it is that they decided to make Ben an Obliviator in America?

To be clear, I don’t mind that he goes to America. I mean, I feel like it was pretty obvious that JC will send someone there. Why? Because it gives them an opportunity for thousand stupid side quests. Would it be possible without sending any of our friends away? Of course, but:

1) they’d have to create a new character to be our guide during the time spent in America,

2) with a totally new guide character it’d probably be harder to not address the issue of why MC doesn’t simply stay with their American relatives – and I imagine that JC simply doesn’t want to touch it too much. If MC has one of their friends there, of course they’re gonna focus on them, and who’d care in a situation like this about Aunt Lydia (or what’s-her-name).

Now, is Ben the best choice to be sent to the States? Probably not. But I don’t really see who’d make more sense, so as I said, I don’t really mind. I am very bothered by the fact that he becomes an Obliviator – and that’s because most of Ben’s time at Hogwarts was turned into a nightmare because someone was messing with his memory.

Y2:

Y3:

Y4:

Y5:

You really want to tell me that after all of that, Ben Copper would be like: “Yeah, I’m gonna Obliviate people for a living!”? Seriously?

I swear, it’s like they had a meeting at JC, and the manager of the writing team (who happens to be an absolute idiot) was like: “Ok, what job would make the least sense for Ben Cooper?”. And then some was like: “Uhm… it’s Ben Copper…”.  And the manager was like: “Whatever. What would it be?”. And then one writer who still has any idea what’s going on in this story but nobody ever listens to them says: “Obliviator, obviously”. And so the manager decided: “That’s it! Write it down!”. And the writer cried: “WHY??”.

“SUBVERTING EXPECTATIONS OR SOMETHING!”

What makes it even worse is that Ben is a Muggleborn. Because while I imagine that most Muggleborns eventually accept that they simply have to keep the wizarding world in hiding, I also assume that not many of them choose to be Obliviators, simply because of their own connections to the Muggle world.

I honestly can’t think of a worse job choice for Ben.

[indigobackfire]

Look at her, my fellow clowns

[hphm-elysia]