#Heads up I basically just post about prog now and that's it

[mellotronmkll]

[direw00f]

The promised (sort of) rant about Ayreon (the character)

Alright so if anyone asks me about my favourite character ever it has to be Ayreon and I want to share why I like him so much! First up a small introduction to Ayreon (the project) for my mutuals or anyone that stumbles upon this. Ayreon is a prog rock/metal project by Arjen Anthony Lucassen every album has a story and most albums tell the same story. In all albums he gets guest singers to bring his story to life and in most album the different singers play different characters. Two exceptions to this rule is The Colonist from The Universal Migrator albums but his situation has a logical explination and we are going to dip a little into the story of this album as Ayreon makes a little appearance. Now the second exception is the character I will talk about now! As I will talk about the project's first ever protagonist from the first ever album The Final Experiment released in 1995 (this year is important as I will discuss later!). Now how this will go is I will analyse every song of the album and analyse the lyrics and how it relates to the love I have for Ayreon. Now as Ayreon gets described and introduced in the first song of the album, let's get right into this!

Track number 1: Prologue

So this is our introduction to the album as a future incarnation of Merlin talks to us from 2084 about Ayreon. 2084 is an important year in the Ayreon universe as it is the death of earth, so Merlin explains that scientists have developed "time telepathy" to send visions of humanity's demise into the past with the hopes of changing the future. These visions have been recieved by a BLIND MINSTREL living in 6th century Brittain, this is Ayreon and it is his task to warn humanity about it's disastrous future. Now do I have to say anything about the fact that the only thing this poor man now can see is destruction and death? So we have our basic introduction to our story and got a basic overview of our poor protagonist, his story will not have a happy ending sadly. The melody in this is sometimes the same as in the song Merlin's Will, I guess this is our audio cue for our wizard here.

Track number 2: The Awareness (technically Dreamtime)

Soooo first up what is up with the song name well this album is divided into 4 acts, somehow The Awareness and another act got split but while this song is called The Awareness the portion of the act we're talking about is called Dreamtime (Words Become A Song). So to be clear: The Awareness is the current act of the story we're in, the segment we're talking about is Dreamtime. This clear? Ok! Let us get on with the analysis. Let us start with the banging opening lines: "A cry in the silence, a shine in the dark Like a rising star, the dream is coming Images of violence, a flight through time and space It's such a lonely place; the dream is coming The smoke is rising, the vision's getting clearer And words become a song in the dreamtime" So this is our first look into Ayreon's head and just look at those fancy words, you can clearly see that he is a poet of some sort. So these visions appeared to him in dreams and his mind immediately started writing lyrics to a song. It is also the start of his issues with the visions (yay!) he is clearly distressed by the visions and nothing shows this more than the next song of our little saga:

Track number 3: Eyes Of Time

He is awake! Yay and oh boy here comes the crisis and a beautiful description of what he feels at this moment, again I will post the first verse because it is so beautiful and Eyes Of Time is my favourite song of this album with it's catchy chorus and beautiful lyrics. "I cannot see with these eyes! My world is black, like a cold eternal night I could not tell you no lies! My words are lost, in a shroud of mystery" So yeah..... the description of his world being as black as night is a frequent one we see associated with Ayreon as we will talk about later. So this is Ayreon trying to make sense of these visions he wakes up with as he puts it later "I see the world through the eyes of time". He also describes himself as drifting through time and he has no idea what to do, he is already composing the songs about these visions but he is still very confused and does not understand what's going on with him. He is really going through it lmao, anyways these tries at writing the songs and his staring of into space which leads him into:

Track number 4: The Banishment

Oh yeah this is exactly what it sounds like, the townsfolk grow fearful of him and his songs and banish him from the village. Poor Ayreon cries out "what have I done?" as the people accuse him of being evil, this leads Ayreon to roam the forest lost and even more confused. Eventually this leads him to find a place at Camelot after gaining some strange determination. What can I say about this song other then "poor Ayreon" and hope for the best for him.

Track number 5: Ye Courtyard Minstrel Boy

A straightforward track leading into the next arc for Ayreon here, it explains that he tries to win the trust of the people there before he tries to complete his mission again. The next track also does not give further insight into Ayreon's character but it does have a link to a different album I did not see anyone talk abot before soooo:

Track number 6: Sail Away To Avalon

Just a cool track about the quest for the holy grail right? This does give us an insight in the type of songs Ayreon would write, you know except for the metal part lol. In story this is to establish Ayreon as the court musician it has no further relevance to the story right? Wellllll this is a line from Sail Away To Avalon: "You'll find the grail within you, Slay the dragon in your dreams" And this is a line from the Knight on the song Another Time, Another Space from the Into The Electric Castle album: "I have found the grail, here within" So what does this mean? Well I do not know, this could be coincidence but Arjen mostly write links like this if they're important. The whole story of that album is that humans from different time periods have been placed together as an experiment about emotions by the Forever. (A whole different rant is needed to explain them) but the time telepathy experiment was an idea by the Forever so that is possibly the link. Anyways after this little detour let us go back on track and go to the next part of our little story with:

Track Number 7: Nature's Dance

First up: emotional damage. So this song is Ayreon sitting in the gardens wishing to see the beautiful nature around him instead of those future visions. He also uses the word television which I always have interpreted as Ayreon knowing things he shouldn't because of his visions of DOOM. Anyways this is the point of no return Ayreon gathers the courage to finally fulfill his mission although he is already aware that this will most likely kill him. So the next 3 songs will be three ways he foresees humanity's demise and all three are very likely to happen, sadly.

Track Number 8: Computer Reigns (Game Over)

Yeah the classic technology will be our downfall spiel, let us go on to:

Track number 9: Waracle

Ayreon foresees a lot of wars and infighting that will never be resolved until the death of the humans on earth, fun.

Track number 10: Listen To The Waves

This one is the most interesting of these three songs as he foresees pollution and climate change being one of the reasons of earth's destruction. One line in particular stands out though: "We befoul the air and burn a hole in the sky." Eh yeah, this was written in 1995 and now we do actually have a hole in the sky and then adds: "Deadly waves from outer space, will cause our race to die." Which would also be true I cannot put to words how eerily correct Arjen was with this prediction. Now we had this it is time for more pain with:

Track number 11: Magic Ride

This is Ayreon at his lowest point, he feels his death is near and so he cries out to the people that gave him these visions to allow him to see anything other than those horrid visions before he dies. This leads to his final arc which I like to call his death arc or "Merlin is a jealous asshole, the arc." He is scared for his life and just wants anything nice to happen in his sadly short life, sadly this is not to be.

Track number 12: Merlin's Will

Merlin is jealous of Ayreon's apparent visions and wish to be the only seer and so he condems Ayreon to die while calling Ayreon's visions fake. This leads to the saddest song of the album and I will cry because I love this character a lot.

Track number 13: Charm Of The Seer

Ayreon accepts his fate after his frankly difficult life and because I do love the lyrics bound to Ayreon here is the opening of the song: "I've been lost in the valley of nightmares I've been found in the garden of dreams Speak thy charm, I know you are out there Cast thy spell and silence their screams

As I poise on the edge of life where time disappears I bow in fear, To the charm of the seer" All he wants is peace and for those visions to stop and if his death will silence them, then he will accept it with fear.

Track number 14: Swan Song

While this song doesn't have any lyrics we do know what happens in this, Ayreon finally understands where his visions came from and as he sees his future reincarnations he makes one last effort to reason with Merlin to let him live.

Track number 15: Ayreon's Fate (and the last song of the album)

Ayreon's cries fall on deaf ears and he is killed by Merlin but just as he does Merlin recieves visions of the future revealing the truth of Ayreon's words. With an anguished cry of Ayreon's name he promises that his words will be heard and that his story will be told in the late 20th century. Did you remember the year of the album's release? That is right! 1995 which means Arjen writing about Ayreon is canon in the Ayreon universe and we actually meat this fictional version of Arjen in a later album, he is actually really important to the story.

Well this is the end then right? Ayreon died but his words were still shared, humanity can change and prevent the end! Well no Earth still dies in 2084 but what do I talk about then? Well.... Ayreon does appear one more time and not as just a mention. The Universal Migrator is about the last human alive, some humans migrated to Mars but oxygen slowly ran out killing everyone except for our protagonist: The Colonist. He decides to enter the Dream Sequencer (a machine allowing you to experience yout past lives) as oxygen runs out so he dies seeing the earth he longed to visit and so he does what Ayreon wanted but never got. Interesting right? Well both the Colonist and Ayreon share a face that of our mastermind Arjen and so we have.

Caried By The Wind

So our friendly minstrel has died and he actually sounds happier in this song, wow! He floats about as a spirit free and more optimistic than ever! He describes roaming free carrying his message around and in the Universal Migrator comic we can actually see him inspire Arjen to write The Final Experiment. He is distraught as he finds out he failed but optimistically seeks out other worlds to live in. I love this version of Ayreon it is still our minstrel with the fancy words but without the pain the visions has caused he is free to just be.

That is all then right? Ah right the fictional version of Arjen, Mr L present on the song The Truth Is In Here from the 01011001 album which details some strange dreams he got including those of our minstrel friend. Again describing his vision as "black as night" just less poetic, anyways his efforts to sing about Ayreon's visions landed him in a mental hospital. Typical. However it seems the Forever have something to do with Mr L's dreams though we know he is another reincarnation of Ayreon.

In short I love the character of Ayreon for how tragic he is and his boundless optimism after his death. His story is intriguing even if it is a little sad and I love how poetic and over the top his dialog is.

This was my rant about my favourite character ever, I do hope people enjoy it.

[siberian-xanadu]

Hi y'all. I f you remember a couple months back (you probably don't. why would you?) I mentioned that when I finished my prog rock research paper for school, I would post it to the essay account. Well, it didn't come out exactly the way I wanted it to, so I think I might just try and link the papers I used instead, and perhaps... I don't know, post excerpts of the paper that I particularly liked? As for any other essays, I'm actually wrapped up in quite a bit of fiction writing right now... Well, okay, fan-fiction. I just finished Union Among Us (which is titled Union Disaster Logs on Ao3, and posted under my co-writer's acc), and now I'm writing another really long crossover prog fanfic. The premise is basically like. What if a bunch of prog bands in the 70s tried to make a Dune movie, and it's the worst movie ever made? It's a lot of fun, but very distracting from any essay-writing I could be doing lmao. So, we'll see about essays. I still have the account; I'm just going to be busy. FINALLY, I'm thinking of doing a summer interactive fanfic again, like Mig (who was my first co-writer/bestie that left tumblr) and I did last year with the PRSC. Not sure what the premise of that would be, but it's rolling around in my head, and I intend to actually... yknow... finish it this time!!! I'm thinking of something between Rocklemania and the PRSC. Maybe Prog Rock Clue, or something like that. I don't know yet; I just like the concept of doing an interactive fanfic again.

So, yeah! Also, plsplspls join my discord server (no pressure ofc!) It's been very quiet lately lmao (mostly due to me being busy af). And, yeah! That's about all :)

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary298

7/13-14/24

saturday - sunday

productive day...

for everything but the film score!! i am really slacking on that.

before i get to all the stuff i did, i will talk more about the show i went to yesterday w/ a friend of ours. he came and got me, he and his gf, which i really appreciate, they are too kind, he even paid for me at the door... which was also very kind. my gf at least got him back for that.

so we were there for a while before the show, and then the show was a little late to start, it was nice that it was an all ages show, or it's nice that there are all ages shows, but being around teenagers is so strange, they stare, for one, i think maybe less because of my, uhm, i guess we would call it 'condition' (being vague helps me feel vague or something between the cracks (buy basically transfemme (obviously))), so less because of that though it is certainly part of it i imagine, and more because i do not dress the same. like i don't really dress like i'm a scene girl or like in the stupid gigantic pants and giant t shirts or crop tops or whatever. i mostly just dress like myself, annoying + wanting to be cute/sexy, but emphasis on cute i suppose.

anyway, there's that, which feels weird, and then also the fact that they're really not socialized well, and they kinda go hard in pits in ways that make no sense, like grabbing and throwing one another during rather slow and morose music that is mostly just kind of nice but not like, you know, it doesn't make you want to do more than sway in place basically. but they throw and stuff, it's annoying frankly because i'm just standing around and they knock into me and it hurts a little but also like, what am i supposed to do. i guess it's my bad for going to the show in the first place, i had a friend go into the pit and he was like, going hard a bit, and then immediately he ran back out like, they're weak, they're too weak.

anyway, the bands, first up was my friend's band i put their performance on yt. obviously not good video or sound quality but that is #thepoint, so here that is:

you get a view of the venue and the weird little old guy who owns the place. he's a sweet dude, it's nice that he has the shows here, it's sad the kids do not respect the space. i saw like, 3 march through with skateboards for no reason, to the back. i don't know what's up with that. hope they didn't fuck anything up! the old guy reminded me of how side characters in s1 of twin peaks feel. funny and nice, off kilter but basically pleasant...

anyway, we only stuck around for... 2 more bands i'm pretty sure.

second was this group common girl, they were the band the kids tried moshing to. they are fine, basically, shoegaze from portland trying to go in on how screamo is getting big again, they kind of got a little city of caterpillar, post-rock-y post hardcore-y... it's fine music but it doesn't really go fast or hard enough for me to even begin thinking about really dancing to it. so it's in an uncomfortable space, it sounds good recorded but they also sound way too much like narrow head. every band's got those chords right now. it's annoying. too much like, grunge influence. i thought it could not get old. but it gets old quick, actually.

3rd up is twistur... they were also okay but too prog-y, in the midwest emo way where they're all good at their instruments and stuff and it's like, they do some dumb jazzy stuff in between the guy being sad about girls or something. it's okay, it's fine. but the twinkly shit gets on my nerves. they also got gaze-y too, and hard too, there was one quite good song they had that was more of a post-rock thing, lots of space, interesting sense of pace and somehow, despite all the building, not really feeling slow. they're onto something if they stick with that sound, but i don't think that would go over well so much unless they really can make people stop and think, really feel it. i hope they can. both of these bands certainly have a lot of promise in that regard, so i guess basically i hope they keep doing stuff, they're definitely nice dudes trying their best, nothing felt cynical really, which is a good thing, sometimes, or i guess maybe because of the dj scene being where i was around for so long, you get that sense. i guess at their last show i went to, there was some of that, a bit, but most of the people in bands have a dorky thing going on, not in a bad way, it's just very earnest, to be doing that right now i think. that might be part of why it seems like the kids are super feeling that now, which i think is nice, it might lead to a resurgence of interesting guitar / guitar-ish music.

i guess we're sorta getting some of that w/ the whole electroclash thing going on. it doesn't even feel so much like a repeat, the good stuff at least, it feels like a true second wave almost, pretty #swaggy if you ask me!!

anyway, today:

i wrote lyrics for 2 songs!! that's pretty big i m o, cuz tomorrow i can try recording some stuff at least, or practice.

then, i wrote riffs!! on my guitar!! that felt really good, i sat there a while trying to figure out how to play better again, gonna keep on that i think, feels really good to try that, i do miss playing amplified but it's probably for the best i am not, since that would annoy lots of people and i'd just get sad i'm not very good, plus i'd get too focused on finding sounds. it's good i just sit and focus on writing riffs.

also, while doing lyrics, i was singing/practicing my vocals, which felt very good, also, nice to get back to that.

+i cooked and stuff, my gf had a long day, it was eventful but this job will probably make her very exhausted, hopefully i can help on some level w/ that.

i also exported a song, with much difficulty... idk why it was such a pain to figure out. i think i wanna go back in and mess with it a bit but i think there's some issue with some of the plugins, i mean definitely, to cause a crash like that. consistently... sooo fucking annoying!

it does keep crashing, hopefully this becomes normal after i turn my computer on tomorrow... idk what to do other than re-do all the plugins (lollllll) otherwise.

anyway, i have to sleep now, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[stylesnews]

A year ago, the guitar was in dire straits. With songs like Travis Scott’s “Sicko Mode,” Ariana Grande’s “7 Rings,” Lizzo’s “Truth Hurts” and Panic! At the Disco’s “High Hopes” among the most consumed of 2019, programmed beats and horns were the sonic flavors of popular music. Sure, there were outliers — the Jonas Brothers’ “Sucker,” Maroon 5’s “Memories” and Post Malone’s “Circles” among them — but as the rock and alternative genres embraced artists like Billie Eilish, whose innovative music made the traditional band approach feel outdated, the days of chords and solos seemed numbered if not headed towards irrelevance.

Then came the coronavirus pandemic and things changed. Forced to perform from home or in rooms not intended for live music during lockdown, many artists went back to basics and out came the trusty six-string. For iHeartRadio’s “Living Room Concert for America” in March, Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl played an acoustic Guild on “My Hero”; Billie Joe Armstrong from Green Day strummed to his band’s “Boulevard of Broken Dreams”; and even Eilish, with her collaborator brother Finneas, sang her hit “Bad Guy” accompanied by only a Fender acoustic. Other benefit livestreams like Global Citizen’s “One World Together At Home” event saw the Rolling Stones, Keith Urban and Shawn Mendes strip down their hit songs for unplugged versions. And in April, Miley Cyrus delivered an emotional cover of Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” on “Saturday Night Live” with Andrew Watt, himself a COVID survivor, on guitar.

At the same time, there was an electric guitar solo being heard on one of the most-played songs in the United States. Harry Styles’ “Adore You,” which has logged 1.1 million radio spins in 2020, according to Mediabase, and has been streamed more than 400 million times, per Alpha Data, features the playing of Kid Harpoon (real name: Tom Hull), Styles’ friend and producer, who handled the guitar parts for much of the Brit’s excellent “Fine Line” album, released in Dec. 2019. As it turns out, the melody of the solo, which also serves as the bridge to “Adore You,” was first hummed by Styles for Hull to emulate. “I did it with my mouth into a microphone,” Styles told Variety in October. “And then Tom sent me this video trying to get it to sound the same. He spent a couple of hours getting it.”

Why include a guitar solo when most pop songs would never dare? “I feel it’s kind of like ‘La La Land’ saving jazz  — only for rock ‘n’ roll,” Styles cracked when posed with the question. But more seriously speaking, Variety‘s Hitmaker of the Year added: “I’m not a spearheader of the movement, like, ‘Let’s bring back guitars.’ There’s plenty of times when [a song] doesn’t sound better with a guitar, and you don’t use it. But a lot of the references I grew up with have guitars; and it’s the first instrument I played, so it makes sense that I would like the sound of them more. I don’t think the guitar is dying. Guitars are great and always have been.”

In fact, guitar sales in 2020 have been robust. Music retailer Sweetwater reports more than 50% year-over-year growth in guitar purchases, with even larger increases during the peak COVID months of April, May and June “when customers most likely hunkered down to practice and create music after watching all of the streaming video they could handle,” according to a rep for the Indiana-based company.

The spike extended to other string instruments as well, which saw growth of more than 70% year-over-year in the price range of $299 or lower. The metric indicates that “new players are joining the fold,” says Sweetwater, which has been in business for over four decades and operates online. (Competitor Guitar Center, with more than 250 physical locations in the U.S., did not fare as well, filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection last month.)

Even in the virtual world, learning to play an instrument has taken off during lockdown. The platform Yousician, which provides interactive learning for guitar, bass, ukulele, piano and voice, currently reigns as the No. 1 app for music instruction while its sister product, GuitarTuna, is tops for guitar tuning.

Ask current writers and producers working in pop and hip-hop about their process and you soon learn that an acoustic guitar is often the beginning or the essence of a hit song. Among Variety‘s 2020 Hitmakers, the trio of Taz Taylor, Charlie Handsome and KC Supreme credited a guitar loop as the foundation for Trevor Daniel’s “Falling.” For Maren Morris’ “The Bones,” producer Greg Kurstin noted: “The first thing I noticed was Jimmy Robbins’ guitar hook; I wanted to keep the song rooted in that.”

“So many hit songs from 2020 started with a acoustic or electric guitar, whether it be a melody line or simple progression,” says songwriter and producer Jenna Andrews, whose recent credits include BTS’ “Dynamite” and Benee’s “Supalonely.”

And often, those guitar-based foundations remained through the finished product — for instance, 24KGoldn’s “Mood,” with its impossibly catchy sun-kissed guitar riff, and Powfu’s “death bed (coffee for your head).”

“I know it sounds kinda old school, but I love it when a well-recorded acoustic pops off on the radio,” says Sam Hollander, whose hits include the aforementioned “High Hopes” and Fitz and the Tantrums’ “HandClap.” “The bulk of my songs tend to be born on guitar. Without that foundation, the lyrics and melodies never really emote the heartbeat and emotion that I’m trying to dial in. There’s just a general warmth to it that’s hard to replicate. It’s like the warmest chocolate chip cookie.”

“I think the prevalence of guitar in 2020 has a lot to do with hip-hop producers using more emo and punk-rock influences,” offers Angie Pagano, whose AMP management company represents Tommy Brown (Ariana Grande, Blackpink) and Mr. Franks, among others. “Juice Wrld really helped bring this into the mainstream over the last few years. We’re seeing a great blend of emo and trap these days.”

Indeed, the year’s most-consumed hits leaned hip-hop — Roddy Ricch’s “The Box” landed at No. 1 on the Hitmakers list with Future and Drake, Jack Harlow and Megan Thee Stallion in the Top 10 — but even DaBaby’s “Rockstar,” the No. 3 song of the year, referenced a guitar in its chorus, albeit alongside mention of a Glock pistol. That visual may go against what Hollander calls “the Kumbaya vibe of the guitar,” but the song still features an acoustic strum at its core.

In the case of Styles’ 2020 successes, which also include the ubiquitous “Watermelon Sugar,” his producer further explained that, while aware of what was reacting on the charts at the time they were recording, Styles wasn’t about to chase the trends. Said Tom Hull: “We [thought], we can’t play the commercial game in terms of what’s happening right now. What we can do is make music that really resonates with us. There’s no blueprint. You just have faith. We love records from the ’70s and ’80s; weird prog rock music that might be a seven-minute instrumental; then you’re listening to Shania Twain, like, ‘This is awesome, too.’ The goal was to make something we will always love, and if it completely flops commercially, at least we know we love it. We have that.”

[seducing-a-vampire]

ON BEING HONEST AND WHY I THINK SIMON WILL BE THE FIRST TO SAY “I LOVE YOU”

Two things sparked this meta:

Baz yelling “you’re so beautiful” to Simon, but Simon not hearing it— the moment that lives rent-free in my head 24/7

Rainbow’s recent Fall for the Book interview, when she said that she thinks that Baz is “settling for Simon” in Wayward Son

Here’s something we all know: our guys really suck at saying nice things out loud to each other. For two people are constantly thinking nauseatingly sweet and loving things about each other, they almost never actually verbalize them. 

I ended up going through a lot of quotes and tracking some of the nice things that they actually do say to each other, and I’ll offer some very  r a m b l i n g  thoughts on what I think Simon and Baz’s respective paths indicate for AWTWB. 

I was interested in the intersection of when Simon and Baz are being honest to each other (aka saying some of the nice things that they’re always thinking) with when Simon and Baz are being honest about themselves (aka self-acceptance).

TL;DR, my prediction for their path through honesty is:

Simon’s self-acceptance (which starts at the end of WS)

Simon’s honesty to Baz re: love

Baz’s honesty to Simon re: love

Baz’s self acceptance

**Below the cut because it got super long, yikes**

Phase 1: Simon being nice/honest in CO

The first nice-ish interaction between Simon and Baz in Carry On is when Simon follows Baz up to the Mage’s office, and they find Baz’s baby photo:

“Here,” [Simon] says softly, holding it out to me. “I’m… sorry.” (204)

Simon tones down his initial hostility in this scene after he sees the photo. This moment, along with Natasha’s visitation, catalyzes a real change in how Simon views Baz, and it’s indicative of the larger shift (vulnerability → Simon seeing Baz as more than his enemy → Baz wearing jeans → oops I love him). This trajectory continues during their truce-- there are still a few moments of hostility, but honestly on the whole, Simon is pretty nice to Baz:

“You don’t want to hurt me,” I say, trying to push him back. “Isn’t that right? I’m sorry. Look at me, I’m sorry.” (210)

“I’ll help you,” he says (217)

“Baz,” I yell. “No! You’re flammable!” (238)

All of this culminates in the kisses in the forest, and Simon says a few more nice and affirming things around that point:

“They say your soul dies.”   “That’s tosh,” he says. (300)

“You’re not a monster,” I say. His face is cold as a corpse in my hand. “I was wrong. All those years. You’re a bully. And a snob. And a complete arsehold. But you’re not one of them.” (339)

“I won’t,” I say. I’ve never turned my back on you. And I’m not starting now.” (340)

Something that stood out to me after reviewing these moments is that Simon’s shift from enemies to lovers is actually pretty linear. As he learns more about Baz during their truce and they grow closer, Simon hates Baz less and consequently says nicer things to him, until he ultimately realizes he doesn’t hate Baz at all, so he kisses him and asks him to be his boyfriend. Weirdly logical behavior for someone so thick. Simon is being pretty open and honest, and this makes sense because Simon understands himself pretty well at this point. His big crisis of character comes in the next book. 

The thing is, at this point in Carry On, Baz has not said a single nice thing to Simon. The closest you could get is when he asks Simon to come to his house for Christmas, which is a great moment but is quickly muddled by their ensuing fight. 

(awesome thoughts about that moment here)

Baz has acted nicely, but he has remained sarcastic and aloof even after Simon kisses him. 

We get a few compliments of Simon’s power:

“You have to stop doing that.”  

“What?”

“Godlike displays of magic.” (348)

“You’re the most powerful magician alive-- who’s ever lived, probably.” (355)

I won’t repeat @super-duper-twelve’s brilliant meta on this, but this category of compliment is not ultimately that useful for their general communication.

Simon keeps pushing, despite the cold walls Baz tries to put up, and he asks Baz to be his “terrible boyfriend.” Honestly, it astounds me how much confidence Simon must’ve had to just shoot his shot there, because Baz was not giving him a ton of reason to think he’d go for it. Me as simon would’ve definitely been like: ok cool, nice kiss, he definitely still hates me though.

Phase 2: Baz being nice/honest

I want to be clear: it’s perfectly understandable why Baz, a flawed fictional character, is not nice to Simon. His trajectory from enemies to lovers is completely different, because he’s spent years loving Simon while acting like his enemy. He’s had great practice at that, and it’s the most relatable thing ever that he is afraid of getting hurt when he’s believed Simon to be an impossible dream for so long. This is also understandable when viewed through the lens of self-acceptance because huge facets of Baz’s identity are constantly being covered up and ignored by himself or by the people close to him (vampire, gay). He knows himself, sure, but he’s a very long way from self-acceptance.

Anyway, Baz does actually agree to be Simon’s boyfriend, and we get a couple of honest Nice Things that they say to each other during that brief period.

Unfortunately, this mutual honesty/niceness is incredibly short lived, because everything changes quickly after this: Humdrum, Mage, Ebb, etc. Simon’s world falls apart, and Baz is there to comfort him, affirm him, and (finally) be honest and nice. Their whole dynamic turns on its head. 

“You did it, didn’t you?” Baz whispers. “You defeated the Humdrum. You saved the day, you courageous fuck. You absolute nightmare.” (491)

“It’s going to be okay… it’s all right, love.” (492)

“You were the centre of my universe,” I say. “Everything else spun around you.” (506)

“Looking at you was like looking directly into the sun.” (507)

“You’re still Simon Snow. You’re still the hero of this story--” (507)

“It was brave. It was brave and selfless and clever. That’s who you are, Simon. And I’m not going to get bored with you.” (507)

“I choose you,” I say. “Simon Snow, I choose you.” (508)

To summarize and possibly oversimplify:

Up until the night of the Mage and Ebb’s death, Simon was the one pushing forward, being honest, and looking to break down the boundaries and walls between them. 

After that point, Baz finally feels ready to be all in with Simon, and Simon retreats inward. 

Phase 3: Wayward Son

We see this dynamic play out in Wayward Son, with almost no change throughout the whole book. Right from the very first chapter, Simon is thinking:

“Everything that happened with the Mage and the Hum-drum just made Baz more of who he was meant to be… He proved himself as a man and a magician. He proved himself right: The Mage really was evil! And I really was a fraud—’the worst Chosen One who’s ever been chosen,’ just like Baz used to say. He was right about me all along. “ (8)

I think it’s really notable that Simon can use his boyfriend’s words to justify his own worst self-doubts and self-loathings, because it indicates the consequences of them spending way more time insulting each other than ever being honest and affirming.

In Wayward Son, tender and honest moments between Simon and Baz are few and far between and mostly in the form of post-battle kisses. The only real communication that we see between them comes in flashbacks, wherein we see how much Simon has pulled back from Baz (the descriptions of his reaction to physical intimacy being one example of this). 

Even when Baz says nice things to Simon and affirms him, Simon’s presumed depression largely keeps him from believing and internalizing those things (through no real fault of either person. Again, very understandable ways for both of these flawed characters with traumatic pasts to behave!!!!!). Baz yells, “you’re so beautiful” to Simon, and he doesn’t even hear him (a gutting moment that I consider indicative of the general dynamic between them throughout the book).

Now, we get to Rainbow’s comments about Baz “settling for Simon.” I feel this. Simon is pushing Baz away and giving Baz basically nothing, and that is not a healthy dynamic. Baz is going through his own crap and self-doubt and self-acceptance, and Simon is not there for him apart from fits of jealous rage. As we learned in Carry On, it takes a lot for Baz to even feel remotely comfortable expressing his feelings for Simon, and with many months lacking that, it starts to wilt. 

What’s next: Prologue and AWTWB

Of course, the moment of truest communication in the second book comes at the very end:

“Why can’t you just admit that you’d be happier here?” “Why can’t you see that I wouldn't be happier anywhere without you?” (353)

I think the key to understanding what might come after this agonizing moment lies with Simon’s thoughts as he sits alone on the beach.

Before Baz arrives, Simon’s not thinking about his boyfriend. He’s thinking about himself. He’s contemplating his role in the World of Mage’s (hello, synopsis for AWTWB), and he’s taking a good, long look in the mirror. He’s starting to be honest about himself and accept himself (not perfectly, and I think this imperfect acceptance is reflected in his expressed desire to get rid of his wings, but he’s getting there). 

When Simon talks about Baz staying in America and being happy, Simon is not closing himself up and pushing Baz away, which he had done for so long and which caused so much miscommunication up to this point. Rather, this is a moment of true honesty on Simon’s part. 

Baz does need to learn more about himself and his vampirism. Simon recognizes this about Baz, just as Simon is trying to understand himself, too. In this moment, Simon is being true and vulnerable and speaking from a place of love. Baz refuses to self-reflect honestly and understand the truth in what Simon is saying, instead clinging to his love for Simon (without actually verbalizing that love). Throughout WS, Baz makes very stunted progress (see: his floral clothing as symbolism, being able to retract his fangs, meeting other vampires and learning about immortality and all that fun stuff), but in the end he doesn’t let himself actually think about that in any real way. Despite what Simon says, Baz has not yet “become more of who he was meant to be.” 

Importantly, this is in the “Prologue,” the beginning of the next phase in their healing and their relationship. As the balance shifts, this could be the beginning of real communication, but Simon needs to take the next step. At the end of WS, Baz is the one holding back. Baz isn’t able to accept himself honestly, so he won’t be able to fully let Simon in, either. 

Until Simon says “I love you,” they won’t get anywhere in their relationship. Simon needs to say it first, he needs to be vulnerable and honest in a way that he hasn’t been since before the Mage’s death, and Baz needs to understand those feelings in order to fully express his own. Then, I see Simon’s fully expressed love and support as a catalyst for Baz’s final self-acceptance. 

I think Simon will be unable to fully express his love for Baz until he has understood and accepted himself. However, Baz will continue to prioritize Simon/love over his own self-acceptance until either (A) Simon and Baz break up, or (B) Baz finally has confidence and security in their relationship because Simon has broken down the barriers of honesty and said “I love you.” Simon needing to say “I love you” first also gets at the idea of Simon needing to become someone that Baz deserves (per Rainbow’s words). 

So, I predict this as their path through honesty:

Simon’s self-acceptance (which starts at the end of WS)

Simon’s honesty to Baz re: love

Baz’s honesty to Simon re: love

Baz’s self acceptance

And then they will live happily ever after. The end.

*** Please let me know what you think and if this makes any sense!! ***

[my-watch-begins]

Drawing.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes/Reader.

Warnings: strong language, mentions of intrusive thoughts, pre-FATWS.

Words: 3.1 k.

a/n: had to get this idea out of my head.

Gif not mine! Credits to the author.

This is new for me.

Everything was new for Bucky, not only the clothes, the mannerisms, the people, the food, the neighborhood... Ever since his stay in Wakanda, his pardon and his current stay in his beloved Brooklyn, he was having trouble with basic human interactions. He'd been told he stared at people too much, he had a severe case of resting bitch face, and not only sometimes he couldn't be bothered with people's bullshit, people didn't put any effort in relationships these days.

He could count with one hand the amount of people that weren't on their phone as they had a coffee or "brunch" whatever that was. Even kids, three years old had their eyes glued to a screen that was already prog... No, don't think of that word.

He shakes his head to get rid of the train of thoughts he's sure it's coming, gloved fingers run through his hair and he sighs.

Programed, brainwashed, controlled, fuck.

He's about to storm the cafeteria, he's feeling his heart swell up in his chest. He's suddenly forgotten every single piece of advice his therapist has given him in order to keep his intrusive thoughts away. He's going to  leave his cup of coffee only touched once, but in an effort to look around for the exit, his eyes land on something different, a person on the table in front of him.

The woman sitting just at the edge of a booth, in front of her is a notepad tilted in front of her, he watches mesmerized as she glides the pencil from one side of the sheet to the other, then a few more followed.

He feels his breathing start to wind down, his eyes moving with the pencil and he sees the headshot of a person come through.

His eyes leave the paper just enough to look up at her, her profile peaking from a curtain of hair. He watches as she carefully tucks her hair behind her ear, revealing a pair of headphones latched to her ear.

She sighs and purses her lip, now Bucky's eyes drop down to the drawing as she erases a few things off. He's so entranced with the way her fingers hold the pencil he felt something shiver in his body when she grabbed a fountain pen and scribbled down a signature at the bottom.

Now he sits behind her almost every day, his arms are crossed on the table as he watches her draw portrait after portrait of the patrons in the café. Sometimes she gives them the drawings, he notices she spends too much time on so many lively details, her talent amazes him. The ones she doesn't give away she stores in a notebook.

The notebook she has used to be a simple one, now it's covered in colors, stickers, and it's so thick it doesn't close completely, things stick out of it in all directions, he can see different textures of papers, ribbons, photos. He's seen her close it as she stores the drawings that aren't of people, and he's seen her stroke the front of it at the spot where a picture has been taped to the cover.

He also saw when one day she bolted after receiving a message, leaving the notebook laying in the seat of the booth next to where she used to be.

He picked it up and walked in quick strides to catch up with her and give it back, but she was lost in the sea of people before he could.

Bucky took it back to his place, fighting an internal battle to not open it and peak throught it, a battle he lost after hours of staring at it.

It was incredible how much a simple book could tell about someone's personality. He'd learned her name, your name, drawing was just a hobby, you actually had a job and friends you hung out with, several polaroids of the lot of you were kept between the pages, some of them thrown in there haphazardly, some stapled to not get lost.

The notebook was actually an agenda, had days numbered, to-do lists, schedules, mundane things, but also mementos to remember events,  little post-it notes scribbled with things like "was praised at work, celebrate with some chocolate", and at the beginning of the week you'd write things you were grateful for. He felt a little something when he saw you'd written "my boyfriend" on the list to be grateful for, but was surprised when he saw a full page had been cleared up and written with a red marker across the page celebrating your break-up with said boyfriend. From there onwards the pages were fuller, you'd gotten a promotion, had more nights out, had a vacation. Whoever this ex boyfriend of yours was, he was definitely holding you back, then the drawings started. You would also write down some thoughts and feelings about the day that had passed, but he didn't linger too much on those notes.

He felt his chest tighten when he saw one of your pencil portraits of Steve's face in his helmet on the page that was the fourth of july, you'd written a long appreciation letter to Steve... Well, to Captain America really.

He couldn't keep going after that. He closed it and left it on the island counter.

Bucky didn't arrive before you the next day, he was hoping he at least got a few minutes to himself to figure out how he was going to approach you, but as soon as he walked in he saw you in your usual booth, head low, your fingers tracing the sides of the coffee mug in front of you. He scanned your face, noticing your puffed up eyes and red nose, your head hanging low and cheek propped against your closed fist.

The lost of the journal had definitely taken your sleep that night, he didn't want to accentuate your grief any longer, so he walked decided until he was standing next to you.

"Excuse me" he said, the journal clutched by one of his hands and pressed to his chest.

You lifted your gaze, your eyes scanning his quickly before they fell to your precious notebook.

Your face dropped in realitization and moved your legs to the side to stand up.

"You dropped it yesterday".

You stared at it dumbfounded, he thrusted it forwards and you instantly took it, your fingers going through the pages.

He smiled to the side when he saw your shoulders drop along with a heavy sigh of relief. You clutched the journal to your chest and bit your lower lip.

"Oh my god" you sighed as you looked up at him "thank you so much for picking it up"

"It's no problem" he dismissed with a wave of his hand.

"At least let me buy you a coffee" you turned around to grab your bag and swung it to your shoulder.

"You don't have to"

"Yes, I do" you pressed your hand to his bicep and lead him to the empty counter, one of the baristas approached you quickly and gave you two a smile "what are you having?" You beckoned him with a motion to the barista.

He definitely didn't plan to have breakfast with you that morning, but there he was, drinking some insipid tasting coffee and looking at you cut an obnoxiously big pastry you'd bought to share.

"What's this thing called?" He asked, looking at the swirl of pastry and something's brown in between, he saw you eat it peeling the external layers of it, your mouth forming a little smirk as you glanced at him.

"It's a cinnamon roll"

He grabbed it and inspected it, taking a big bite out of if.

You smiled and shook your head, your fingers finding your notebook and storing it safely in your purse.

"I hope you don't mind, I peaked through it last night" he admitted, you purses your lower lip forward and shook your head, peeling another layer of roll to eat.

"I don't mind, there's nothing interesting in it"

"There's some art" you chuckled suddenly, your eyebrows twisting.

"That's a strong word, I wouldn't consider it art"

"I would, I've seen you draw, you're very talented"

"You've seen me draw?" You inquired, tilting your head up and pulling a smirk when Bucky dodged your gaze and stammered.

"I- well" he joined his hands on too of the tale and intertwined his fingers, kicking himself for having blurted out something that made him look like a creep "yeah, once"

He reluctantly turned to look at you again, finding you staring back at him with little smile.

"I'll draw you, as a thank you gift" he saw you fish your notepad and a little pencil case.

"You don't have to" you gave him a little smile and your eyes narrowed, taking one pencil out of your case.

"It would be my pleasure" you lifted your pencil next to you, Bucky looked at it and gave you a good angle to start.

You began drawing the same starting point for every portrait you did, but you could instantly read some discomfort in his face, so once you had a good base you stood from your seat and walked to his side of the booth, motioning at him with your hand.

"Scoot". Bucky obliged, moving on the booth enough to let you sit comfortably next to him.

"I don't think you can draw me like this"

He saw you eyebrow twitch upwards and a little smile sneaked from your lips.

"You'll be surprised" you began by the general shape of his face, your own head tilting to the sides as you traced the lines of his jaw "I didn't want you to feel observed" you explained "I know what it's like to be on the other side of someone's notebook"

"Yeah, well, at least you're not judging" it was his turn to murmur in a complaining manner.

You continued, only stealing glances of him when you needed to double check if you were getting things right. During your time drawing you'd hiked up your leg on the seat and spent so much time getting every single twist and turn of his forehead, the creases of his eyes. You'd also felt him inch closer and closer as time went by, his arm propped up on the back of the booth and just on the back of your head.

"You spend so much time of little details" he mentioned. You didn't know if it was a comment or a complaint.

You glanced at him unsure of how to answer.

"Well, I'm usually listening to music and getting carried away by things like-" you motioned at the side of his face "that scar you've got there and how you got it and-" you continued, tracing one by one his eyelashes "the story behind the creases of your eyes and who made you frown so much that now you've got this permanent furrow in between your eyebrows"

"I have annoying friends" you smiled at the answer, giving finishing strokes to the little hairs that stubbornly fell from his clean haircut.

You left your pad on the table and moved around it to grab the bag you'd left on your previous side, revolving it's insides to find a stack of color pencils tied with an elastic band.

"You're going to color it?" He asked, seeing you pull out only three colors.

"No, just your eyes" you sat back and took the pad. Flipping the drawing back to reveal a fresh white page, you sampled one color, then glanced at him, directly at his eyes.

"Why just my eyes?" He inquired, feeling a scrutinizing gaze on his iris.

"Because they're a challenge to get right"

You lifted the pad to match the colored side to his eye, you repeated the process five time, Bucky scanning your facial gestures and watching them range from confusion, to distaste until you finally pulled a winning smile.

Content you'd actually gotten his eye color right, you shaded carefully, going back and forth between colors to get the right shade blended in. When you were finished you held it forwards to look at it completed.

"If I hadn't seen you draw it I wouldn't believe something like that was possible"

You smiled, unconsciously dropping your head at the compliment.

"What's your name again?" You asked, fishing your fountain pen and storing your pencil in the case.

"James"

He stared as you grounded the side of your hand and pinky finger on the paper, your other fingers moving the pen gracefully at the bottom of the page to write "For James, from-" and your name, all in cursive.

You carefully detached the page from the block and handed it to him, noticing just now that he had leather gloves on his hands. He studied it, giving you a tiny smile as he looked at you.

"Thank you" he nods at you, you nod back and flash him a bigger smile.

"You're welcome"

You stored the block and the pencil case in the bag, standing up and getting ready to leave.

"I have to go"

Bucky stood up and motioned at you to go before him, he opened the door of the cafeteria just as you reached it, your hands snuck into the pockets of your cardigan and you turned on your heels to meet with him for a final goodbye.

"Thank you for this" he had rolled the drawing enough to grasp it in his hand but not enough to crease it completely.

"Thank you for keeping my journal safe" you nodded, reminding him the reason why you'd gifted him the drawing "I post a few things that I draw on my Instagram" you offered, he shook his head with a little frown and snuck his hand into his jacket pocket to pull out a flip phone.

"My phone is kinda boring" you stared at it with a half confused, half surprised gape of your mouth "I mean, it doesn't have your number on it, so-"

Your mouth fell agape in even more surprised for a second then you bit your lower lip, lunging forwards to grab his phone from his hand.

"That was a good one" you praised, your fingers moving on the buttons of the phone, a smirk is painted on your lips as you finish saving your number, then return him his phone. "Bye James" you salute, containing the urge to but your lower lip at the sight of him again.

He salutes back, a goodbye accompanied with your name falling purposely from his lips as he stores the phone back in his pocket.

It takes a few days for him to get the courage to send the message. If anything, he's learned that people avoided phonecalls like the plague, people called and hung up just so make you aware that you hadn't answered the message they sent, it was really impersonal buy this time he preferred it. He spent an stupid amount of time writing the message to ask you out, all until he psyched himself to do it. He had always been a ladies man, he'd proven to himself that he still could get a girls number, he'd made you blush. Worst case scenario, you'll leave him on read.

You don't though, you answer his short "Hey, it's James, are you busy this weekend?" With a: "Hey James! I'm free all week" and what he later discovered was a winking face made out of a semicolon and a closed round bracket.

He meets up with you in downtown Brooklyn, he's surprised to see you in clothes that hug themselves to the natural curves of your body, and you're surprised when he hands you a single flower wrapped in a pretty foil arrangement.

You smile fully as you take it, leaning to catch it's scent and feeling your cheeks redden.

"I've never been gifted flowers before"

"Sounds like they've missed an opportunity" you smile again, your head tilting slightly to your shoulder.

"What do you have in mind?" You asked, changing the subject, Bucky motions behind him with his hand as he steps to the side.

"There's a bowling alley not to far from here"

Bucky found it easy to speak to you, he could talk about what he still remembered, he could tell you his favorite books or songs and you wouldn't do anything else other than smile or twist your eyebrows in surprise. He found himself talking about anything and everything and stop only to notice that you'd leaned over to table or your arm has propped your head on a closed fist as you listened to him talk.

You'd crushed him at bowling, had shared a pizza and had stayed chatting in the bar until the noise of the employees cleaning up had caught up to you.

Bucky walked you to your apartment complex a little way off the center off the city, he even enjoyed the comfortable silence between the two until you made a comment and sparked up in conversation again.

Bucky knew that times had changed, that the dating world wasn't as he remembered, and he also knew that because of how the night had gone, he could steal a kiss from you and you wouldn't mind.

What he didn't know was that you'd made up your mind about him the second the handed you the flower, so as soon as you reached your apartment building and he turned on his heels to meet face to face with you, you climbed to your tiptoes and kissed him. You heard his sharp intake of breath as you moved your lips on his, and you definitely felt his hand crawl to the back of your neck and press you to his body.

You couldn't contain a smile when he hummed in satisfaction, your tongue running along his lower lip teasingly.

You stopped, smiling and looking up at him just as he opened his eyes. Bucky felt time stop and slow down as you moved your face side to side, your nose touching his back and forth, each feather touch leaving him more breathless. The only thing in his mind when you pulled away and walked to the apartment door was holy shit, when are we doing this again?

You turn on your side as you hold the door open.

"Goodnight James" you salute, the sight of him bitting his lower lip makes you smile.

"You can call me Bucky if you want" he replies, his hands hiding in the pockets of his jacket.

You turn even more, the weight of your body changing from one leg to the other as you study his face and his request.

"I can call you Bucky if you want" you accentuate. There's a little something in his eyes, you pick up it's amusement at your answer, surprise. He only nods, making you nod in agreement as well. "Goodnight Bucky" you correct, the corner of his mouth turning upwards in a small smirk.

"Goodnight gorgeous"

[taeguboi]

BTS as... Rockers

Ngl, I panicked a little when I checked on the masterlist because an older post about BTS as rock band members was labelled as this title and I’d already written this one for like 3 members already. There’s various genres I mention, some of which are also metal and pop but I thought a simple general title would be best here.

Anyways, my second post coming back recently. Hope you enjoy.

RM

Mainly a classics man

Loves to analyse lyrics

and loves writing his own lyrics based on his current favourites

It’s like a form of literature to him

Loves to chill out to prog and psychedelic rock

Accidentally had the same music tastes as that weird geography teacher in school

Probably has a pet named after a member of a power / symphonic metal band

sorry I’m a bit of a Nightwish nerd and now I can just imagine him calling for his dog “Floor!” and everyone getting confused because they think he’s just shouting at the ground

this is the kind of genre he likes the most other than classic rock; that’s where the most literature references are. It’s poetry about poetry

Has a journal of art and lyrics quotes for when he’s super into a song

Could be mistaken for a geek in school 

because to a juvenile ear, his taste in music might be challenging to listen to

like no one else had the patience aged 12 to listen to a 9 minute song or an instrumental track

and then even at 15/16, how many people your age would listen to Dark Side Of The Moon?

Guess he would say music is all about sitting back and listening and taking it in

Would love to be a songwriter for the right kind of singer

unfortunately though, he’s a bit of a loner

likes his own company too much

it’s probably the solitude that motivates him to write 

too many more friends than he already has would be too much of a distraction

It’s not a sad situation though

music is what Namjoon loves the most

and “nothing else matters”

Oh yes, let’s have a bit of Metallica in there too

It’s not until he finishes school that he becomes more in touch with what people in the current world of rock and metal like

discovered “Rollin’” by Limp Bizkit like WAY too many years after it came out

“Have you heard this ace song man?”

“yep... in 2004 dude”

“oh”

But he’s no ashamed or anything, no

He’s proud to be a fan of the bands he likes

even if they aren’t to everyone’s tastes

“Well, sorry if this isn’t some 3 minute long four chord song repeating the same 5 words”

If they don’t appreciate it, their loss

Jin

The old ones are the best ones

Think 50s rock n’ roll; Little Richard, Elvis, and so on

mixed with guilty pleasures of songs about ‘my baby girl’

Loves themed music nights

Whilst of course his favourites are the 50s themed ones

he also loves showing up to 60s nights to flaunt the flower power

or 80s nights in a fun wig as some member of a hair metal band

all the styles are very fun

but on a daily basis, he’s basically dresses like a teddy boy

tight trousers with white socks peaking out

jacket - sometimes a suit jacket, sometimes denim

as you can imagine, when a lot of this stuff comes back in fashion...

“Well, I did it first...”

you know, in this era he means he did it first

Loves a good finger clicker song

Once considered doing a tribute act around pubs and clubs

but he couldn’t decide who he wanted to be

Probably should take a role in some live production of Grease

he’s seen it enough times

and he can sing

He reckons he could never do theatre for long though

his fantasies are with playing instruments to perform

talented keyboard player

starting to get the hang of guitar too

but he does get carried away whilst trying to learn guitar

because he wants to add on all the cool moves NOW

He’s got some bangers he created on the keyboard though

he didn’t really intend to create original songs

it just happened one day after a break up

and he listened to Heartbreak Hotel

too many times

he just sat at his keyboard

and made something that really felt special

and then the day after that, he made a more upbeat song

and the week after that, he has 4 full songs in total

Open mic nights become something he enjoys 

a bit of a local celebrity

“Would you play my grandma’s 80th party? Pleeeease?”

and aww bless him, he plays all the throwback songs at care homes

all free of charge

slips in some of his original music too

“Ooh, I’m afraid I don’t remember that one dear, must be my brain”

“Oh, no no no” explains Jin “I made it myself”

Old dears just love him basically

but so do the girls his age

Whilst some think the whole 50s get up is a bit lame

some go wild for it

because he dons all his outfits so well

and his songs feel so true to the era they were inspired by

you gain a love for the 50s just from watching Jin

Talented boy, keeping the 50s alive

Suga

A lot say Yoongi has an acquired taste

an electronic element to rock or metal always makes it more interesting to him

loves industrial music - NIN for days

Linkin Park made most of his jams

cried for half a day at the news of Chester no longer being with us

Likes a bit of new wave, synthpop, all that

emo songs just help you through the bad times okay

Can equally enjoy a dub festival as much as a rock concert

some people think his taste is actually naff

but then they realise he also listens to the likes Foo Fighters or Sum 41

Plays like the same 30 songs on repeat

but his collection has so much more

He has some rock and blues for the road trip

he’s got your 70s singalongs for the party

Was briefly a DJ at a rock bar

got fired for not playing enough popular songs in his set

“wtf I thought this was a bar where people could appreciate this” huffs Yoongi

“yes but people want to sing to ‘down with the sickness’ or something, not ‘down in the park’!”

“stuff you then, I’ll take Gary somewhere else with me”

guilty pleasure: Kate Bush

A somewhat gothic sense of style

but not overwhelmingly gothic

He likes bandannas and black clothes

not always in black clothes though

sometimes the merch he wants just isn’t available in black

but no worries

as long as he can happily flaunt the music that makes him who he is

J-Hope

Can listen to any rock genre

give him something and he probably already loves it

So yeah, the band members are pretty cool and all that

but what Hoseok has more interest in the backstage roles

he’d love to manage a rock band

be a tour manager

guitar tech

Much knowledge is stored in that brain of his

and he wants to put it to good use

He starts out as a promoter and organiser for the rock bar in town

which he eventually lives above 

His events are ace

he can pick out fresh talent that everyone on that scene can enjoy

His showcase nights are the place to be

everyone can agree, he’s got amazing taste

no one can disagree with him

He’s a one man show and still managed to pull it off

he’s the promoter, the sound guy, the tech on all the instruments

way more professional than most other local music events

He takes pride in his work

did I mention he’s so good, it becomes a full time job?

As time goes by, he listens to less and less older music

but that’s okay

he’s happy with the time it takes to listen to all the up and coming bands

in the moment is where you should live

and he can still appreciate a band’s influences should they initiate conversation

“man, this dude really knows his stuff”

“will you manage our next tour?”

“can you do sound at our next gig? our guy’s rubbish”

and that one is like right in front of their current sound guy

The future is bright for Hoseok

his love for rock music could really earn him a solid living

Jimin

Some say he’s a bit of a poser in his leather jacket

but he really does love his rock music

Sometimes a bit behind on modern rock bands or releases

Low key wishes he was born in the 50s / 60s 

just so he could live in his favourite eras

his heart really lies with the classics

60s, 70s, 80s.

90s at a push

not the later 90s where grunge bands did pop

ew

actually any movie made in that time makes him cringe

like he’s all up for good clean fun

but christ it’s like they were trying to go back to the 50s or something

not everything is ‘swell’ you know

Don’t get him wrong though

he does also like some 50s music

He may or may not have spent that one time acting like Elvis in the mirror

it really hyped him up before a night out though

it may or may not have become a thing before going out in the evenings to boost his confidence

His all time favourite bands have to be The Rolling Stones and AC/DC

and no, he couldn’t pick between the two, ever

Doesn’t really have a desire to be in a band

but sort of accidentally picks up the bass to help out a mate in a band

and sort of accidentally becomes a permanent member

It’s just a cover band

but it’s so much fun

Sometimes, you can have a really bad day

and then listening to 23 people singing “I Love Rock n Roll”

kind of lifts your mood

“Play Wonderwall!”

gets a bit annoying to him

kind of wants to hit that one guy around the head with his bass

but he holds back

Because being aggressive wouldn’t be very rock of him

and whilst he does like punk music

he’s definitely not a punk

Screw all that political rubbish

music should be to enjoy yourself with

stop worrying about the world for one minute and

let’s sing about whiskey and cigarettes and just living life

“What do you MEAN you don’t know any Def Leppard songs?”

“For crying out loud!”

He tries to understand that not everyone will listen what the music he likes

“but... like seriously, how can you not though?”

V

Probably likes all the underrated bands

Loves vinyl

definitely collects vinyls

Likes to shop at vintage stores to fulfil his obscure taste

People are like “you paid £60 just for that?”

but to Tae, it’s worth every penny

He likes the classics too

he can sing along in a rock bar to all the well known tunes

old or modern

and there may be loads in his vinyl collection barely anyone recognises

but there’s some more familiar faces too

there’s The Beatles, Guns n’ Roses, Foo Fighters, anything like that

it’s just only like 20% of his huge collection

Whilst his style is inspired by those he idolises...

he can never copy them

that would be an insult to them and his originality

Plays guitar and writes songs

never anything soppy though

actually fairly hesitant to pick up an acoustic guitar

always plays electric

and the songs he makes are about having a good time, life experiences

but not about love

He can listen to a couple of cheesy tracks

he just won’t make any

“Who the heck is John Otway, Tae?”

“Oh, you know, Wild Willy Barrat”

“Willy who?”

“Cor baby, that’s really free!”

“....”

“Headbutts! da da da da da... Headbuttttsssss”

I feel like rocker V loves anything that feels slightly random

probably make his own secret songs that sound silly to others

Probably has a band that never gigs

it’s him singing and playing guitar

and a bassist and drummer that aren’t really sure why they’re here

but they kind of like the unique stuff he does

and the band is almost purposely bad

“It’s the imperfections that really give a song character”

Jungkook

Modern rock and metal

low key emo

Tears Don’t Fall by BFMV on repeat aged 14, his first break up

Lives for festivals

like when he goes to work, that is what he is earning money for

well, that and bills and food

has a jar for each festival he wants to go to this year

Also loves a bit of melodic punk

like when that one Australian band are finally coming to his country

he HAS to go

help me I’m really sad because this is me and The Decline were supposed to be coming to the UK and then this pandemic happened and now I might never see them criii

Has a playlist for every aspect of life

every feeling, every colour, every occasion

songs that remind him of a time, ones where he can visualise a colour...

many people don’t get it

“how many playlists?”

“how can a song be a colour?”

it just is

like come on, listen to this Red Jumpsuit Apparatus song 

and tell him this doesn’t remind you of gold

Could be a journalist

knows everything and anything about his favourite bands

AVENGED SEVENFOLD

because it’s the perfect mixture of everything he loves about music

vests because M.Shadows

So badly wants to be in a band

tries every instrument you could find in a typical rock band

loves the drums

gets stuck on guitar though in his first band

well, he was just desperate to go gigging

he left after a year and a bit though

got boring

forms his own band instead around him being on the drums

Lives for this band

it’s like a rock band but with political lyrics

and they can perform at most events

they just fit any bill

gigs are booked almost every weekend

road trip with the lads

they travel like 50 miles just to be paid in beer only

Dreams of big time collaborations

that will probably never happen and he knows that

but it’s nice to dream, right?

puts on his own gigs a few years down the line

of course his own band are always on the bill

everyone thinks his gigs are a hoot

He even manages to book some lesser known punk bands 

but they are a massive deal to him

“God, I love live music!”

“Do you always wear a black shirt guk?”

“Hey, I’m a drummer! It’s hard work; a lot of sweat involved... I’m sure no one wants to see my wet pits whilst trying to enjoy the show”

and then that person wishes they never asked...

but he’s right

he knows that a good band is all about the hard graft and work

and he is always so thankful for the great rock bands that influence him

[meetthenutshells]

So I’m seeing this post going around and just want to rebut it real quick? Hi. I’m an animator. Lemme tell you about animation.

I can’t say much about the budget for the Sonic movie, though it’s worth hanging an asterisk on that figure since it’s not out yet. I’m also suspicious of such a low figure for the MLP budget, since that has to include the salaries of a few fairly notable people (notice how Songbird Serenade only had like, five lines in the whole movie?), but that figure has an academic source, so I’ll trust it for now.

Anyway, here’s why I think that whatever this post is trying to imply is kind of wrongheaded.

So first things first, let’s make the distinction between what these two pictures are. Sonic the Hedgehog (2019) is a live action... well I hesitate to call it a “blockbuster”, but it’s a special-effects heavy action movie. It has big name actors, location shooting, all that fun stuff. The My Little Pony movie is a 90 minute TV special that accidentally found its way to a theatrical release.

Lemme take a step back from what’s on the screen and take a look at the economics of these productions. I’m largely just speculating this part, but bear with me. The way the Sonic movie makes the most sense to me as a venture for Sega is if the movie studio pays them for the rights to the property, and then any royalties they make are gravy. If the movie bombs, they’ve already been paid for the rights, and it’s not like Sonic’s reputation can get much worse, so there’s not a lot to lose. That puts it on the heads of the studios and distributors to turn the movie into a profit-making venture, so the movie gets a big boy budget. Nothing too extreme? But like, it’s about the same budget that Shazam got.

Meanwhile, the objective of the MLP movie is first and foremost, to sell toys. The value of the movie is how many playsets it sells. As such, how good the movie is is a secondary concern, behind how many views it converts into toy sales. Add to this that they basically went with the same crew in the same studio, and you’re looking at what Dan Olson calls a Made-for-TV-Plus movie. A lot of the budget has probably gone towards getting the big names into the recording studio for like a day each (Sia’s time must have been very expensive), and the animation crew got paid for a long TV episode. Some comparable budgets include the Ouija movie and Air Buddies.

What I’m trying to communicate here is that the purpose of these two movies is different and that explains why their budgets are so different. As for “doing more with less”, well, you can probably blame some decision-making at Blur Studio for what they’ve ended up with, but I’m less interested in that. My big point here is that the MLP movie is a poor “bang for your buck” example because its shoestring budget really shows if you look closely. I don’t want to completely ruin it for anyone who doesn’t want to know, so all of that is in the section below, and nothing else.

The switch to Toon Boom and the use of some frame-by-frame animation in the hero scenes in the movie, together with some tactical 3D, charming writing and the general creativity of the settings do a lot to paper over the shortcuts taken in the animation. However, it’s pretty clear that a lot of the budget went to these really important scenes, and some of the scenes got only just enough attention to get them out the door. (Princess and the Frog had a $105M budget. They didn’t spend that all on champagne and truffles, kids.)

In a lot of crowd shots you’ll see duplicated animation, you’ll see background characters hold still for very long periods of time, and a real tell of puppet animation is characters sticking to the same few angles. Toon Boom’s deformers help with smoothing in and out of them and avoiding the snap you see in the Flash-made show when characters have to turn, but you can still kiiinda see it. It’s there when characters slide into frame holding a kind of musical-theatre 3/4 tilt, it’s characters running just very slightly out of angle with where they’re supposed to be going, it’s the awkward floaty bobbing motion of background characters, it’s the same mouth shapes showing up again and again and again.

This is to say nothing of the TV-like cinematography that bleeds in in a few places. When the movie’s being intense or dramatic or awestriking,  it gets very cinematic - lots of close-ups, big sweeping long shots of dramatic prog rock backdrops (painted stills, natch), tight angles close to the ground, that kind of thing. But then when it doesn’t need to do that, we’re commonly back to simple wides and holding on the same frame just slightly uncomfortably too long.

I think the best thing I can bring for my case is the sequence for the We Got This Together song. With the exception of Twilight’s flyover bridge, the sequence is full of these kind of in-between shots that don’t know how to be interesting, plus plenty of background characters really looking like puppets and just... lots of things that I’d get retaken to me at work if I let them slip? It just really strikes me as a sequence that they didn’t have the time to finish. Like I don’t think it’s the animators’ fault, it’s just unreasonable to expect more from the budget they were given. Also some other sequences did fare better (Time to be Awesome is one).

[grimelords]

Two days after I said I’d upload it tonight, here it is! My October playlist is finished and it’s chock a block full of good music and also bad music that I love. From John Mellencamp to drone metal, from Katy B to Cassius, it’s all here and more. Deadmau5 also is here and for that I apologise.

Small Town (Acoustic) - John Mellencamp: Guess who had a legit emotional reaction to a John Mellencamp song this month, thinking deeply about what it means to be from a small town and how much this song gets right and wrong about identity and freedom in a small town versus living in a big town? This guy. I think this song works a lot better stripped down acoustically than it does in the album version. It gives the lyrics a lot more space, and really lays out just how simple the sentiment of the song is. It sets the tone of this month's playlist pretty well now that I think about it. I've been feeling like a real pea-brain hayseed this month and big chunks of this playlist really reflect that.

Katy On A Mission - Katy B: It feels like this and Hold It Against Me by Britney Spears (which was also 2011) is the moment that big american style dubstep completely crossed over into the mainstream, Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites was about six months ago and from there it was a tidal wave until oversaturation and complete death. But Katy On A Mission is different because it's at least got the credentials of dubstep pioneer Benga producing it and it doesn't go all-out on the super dirty bass, or even particularly have a big drop at all - it just uses it textually all the way through and it's better off for it.

I Only Have Eyes For You - The Flamingos: The way this song is recorded is insane. It literally sounds like they're at the bottom of a well. And it's mixed in that good early stereo hard-panned style so the lead is in the right channel and the whole harmony is in the left channel and absolutely soaked in reverb in a way that just sounds incongruous with the rest of the song. It sounds like a dream. My favourite moment is at about 2:30 when the harmony vocals get so large on the high note that they clip out and distort in a way that just sounds very, very cool.

Horses In The Sky (Live Version) - The Sound Of Animals Fighting: The Sound Of Animals Fighting was a post-hardcore prog supergroup where they were all anonymous (it was just the entirety of RX Bandits plus Anthony Green from Circa Survive) and I really wish they'd done more like this after their first album - because they still wrote very very good songs but they got lost in the mire of studio ambient interludes and being avant-garde for the sake of it which sometimes worked and most times just bored you which thankfully they only succumb in the end section of this version. Compare this to the studio version if you want to know what I mean, halfway through the guitar solo it just starts playing in reverse.

Split Wide Open - Cannibal Corpse: Here's what I mean about feeling like a pea-brain this month. Cannibal Corpse is proper troglodyte moron man music. It makes me feel dumb as fuck like a real stupid guy. There's something interesting about Cannibal Corpse's enduring ability to shock people, and that a band making such extreme music are at least a name that people know. They were in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective for god's sake. Before Marilyn Manson and that wave of cabaret shock-rock really got into the popular consciousness Cannibal Corpse were making shocking, violent music without any of the glamour and I think it's served them well in the long run. Songs like 'Hammer Smashed Face' or 'I Cum Blood', are shocking in title, artwork and content to this day are still musically shocking to the vast majority, far more than Marilyn Manson's spooky androgyny and wearing like a top hat and having fangs or whatever that's aged like milk and become just another boring cliche. The idea of the devil being charming and sly, disguised in charisma is so much more boring than the devil just tearing you apart like mince meat and eating you. Anyway I'm here to say Cannibal Corpse is good music for dum-dums like me.

Funeraloplis - Electric Wizard: Someone's edited it now but it's still in the footnote links, but the best ever piece of writing on wikipedia was the quote on Electric Wizard's page where they were explaining the origin of their name because it said "Is the name Electric Wizard made out of two Black Sabbath song titles? [smokes a big bud of weed through a can] Hahahaha, yeah it is!" which is so good and sort of all you need to know about them.

I <3 U So - Cassius: Looking back through this list it seems I'm having a real 2011 moment for some reason. I don't think I *get* Cassius. From everything I read about them they seem to be french dance royalty but they literally have two good songs and they're both in this playlist. These two songs are very good though so maybe it's just that. Anyway it's a shame what Kanye did this to song on Watch The Throne but I don't blame him, it feels like this song is just impossible to work with. It's at a weird tempo, it's incredible loose, it basically has one section. I imagine this song would have frustrated a lot of DJs when it was popular cause I really don't know how you would mix in or out of it, but fuck it while it's on it's a great song!

Youth, Speed, Trouble, Cigarettes - Cassius: This is the other good Cassius song. I'm pitching it as the theme song for when they eventually reboot Skins. I really appreciate that this song has 1 idea and basically just does every variation it can with it before bringing it to a climax. When your idea is this simple and this good that's all you need. Also the big toms that kick in after the 'just one more' but are heaven sent.

It Took The Night To Believe - Sun 0))): Sun 0))) are such morons and it's so funny that you can be so dumb and so serious about this sort of music at the same time. On this song Greg Anderson is credited as Mystik Fogg Invokator and Stephen O'Malely is credited as Taoiseach, which is the name for the Irish prime minister. Whenever I listen to Sun 0))) for the first two minutes I'm like 'lol this sucks' but then suddenly the guy is like 'cry yourself to ash' and I'm feeling the pull of the void quite heavily. Basically it's just like that meme.

Seven Angels - Earth: I remember ages ago some guy posted Earth 2: Special High Frequency edition and it was just this whole album with a high pass filter on it which is a funny joke. Anyway it interesting to think of this album in the context of when it came out. Two years after Nevermind, six months before In Utero - grunge at the absolute height of its power, stoner metal like Kyuss and Sleep huge when suddenly this guy comes out of nowhere and distills guitar music down to its essence: slower, louder, heavier than anything else by an order of magnitude.

Mutual Slump - DJ Shadow: I finally saw Xanadu this month and now I can finally relate to the weird smiling breathing out your nose noise that she makes after she says 'I'd never hailed a cab before' in this song.

Walkin' On The Sidewalks - Queens Of The Stone Age: Queens Of The Stone Age's first album is 20 years old this year and I've been thinking a lot about how it was a two person operation. Josh Homme played and sang everything on this album except the drums and it's funny to think about writing this sort of music all by yourself outside of a jam structure. He really sat down with a pad and paper and wrote down 'outro: bass riff x400' and then recorded it just like that.

Witch - Maps & Atlases: I wake up with this song in my head so often it's insane. I think a triplet groove in 4/4 like this is such a good and underused feeling and this song really deploys is perfectly. I want more of this, the good kind of math rock where it's not just guys doing midwest emo tappy riffs that all sound the same.

Down 2 Hang - Kirin J Callinan: This is what meeting up with people from the internet feels like. It's kind of a shame that this album got completely overshadowed by the Jimmy Barnes screaming meme, and that it's the first and last a lot of americans will ever hear of Jimmy Barnes but in reality it's exactly what Kirin J Callinan wanted to good for him I suppose.

Fast In My Car - Paramore: If you can't tell already I'm having an extremely basic bitch moron man month and that included listening to this Paramore album a lot and telling my girlfriend about how isn't it so interesting that the guitarist Taylor York just took over drum duties for this album after their longtime drummer quit and did such a good job playing drums AND guitar and her rightly not caring at all. I'm always impressed by songs that keep the same chords through the verse and chorus, it seems impossible but it works great here.

Don't Stop The Dance (feat. Delafleur) - Breakbot: I'm clapping my hands to stress each syllable when I tell you that Disco Will Never Die.

Oqiton - Jeremy Dutcher: I'm so glad this album won the Polaris Prize because I feel like I would never have heard of it otherwise. I absolutely love it, and I think what I love so much about it is that it doesn't fall into the trap of similar projects like this in the past of smoothing out all the jagged edges and turning it into plastic pretty music from the untouched ancient peoples - it's a real and alive reinterpretation of old music that looks toward the future and past in equal measure. Including the actual original recordings in each track is such a smart move, it gives you the context you need so this album isn't about liner notes and extra sources and it lets those old recordings seamlessly fold into these new reorchestrations.

I Remember - Deadmau5 & Kaskade: Anyway moron month continues here with the only worthwhile contribution to the planet earth that Deadmau5 ever made, I suspect by letting Kaskade do most of the work. It sounds sadistic but I really appreciate how this song is nearly ten minutes long, I'm a big fan of any song with that much confidence that actually pulls it off.

Overtime - Jessie Ware: Fucking Jessie Ware is back and she’s got Bicep producing! I think I added this song to my playlist before it was even a minute in, I just heard the bassline and my brain stem said yes.

Body - Julie Jacklin: I really think Julia Jacklin might be the best songwriter around right now and I cannot wait for her new album. I guess this keeps with the moron man theme by telling it from the other side. I keep listening to this song and then getting into a real mood for about an hour afterwards so I can't imagine the damage the album is going to do to me.

Can't Tell Me Nothing - Kanye West: Throughout the whole ongoing Kanye drama I've been thinking of this song. " I feel the pressure, under more scrutiny, and what I do? Act more stupidly" "I'm on TV talking like it's just you and me". Anyway he's had is money right for a long time but it's becoming increasingly apparent that you really really can't tell him nothing. I think it's interesting that the thing that seems to have spurred him into clarifying his beliefs and finally backtracking on anything is that Candace Owens tried to credit him for the shitty Blexit thing and it turns out the one thing you can't do to Kanye West is manipulate him into putting his name on something he doesn't believe in or didn't create. It's insane that John Legend and Mos Def and Talib Kweli reaching out didn't change anything but Candace Owens taking one too many liberties absolutely did.

Like Wolves On The Fold - Colin Stetson: I've said it one million times but I love Colin Stetson. I love how straightforward this is for a Colin Stetson song. You can sing along to it! So much writing about him focuses on the intricasies of his technique rather than his resulting very human, very primal music. I feel like his music is not very far from beating on your chest and yelling a lot of the time (especially toward the second half of this song) and the saxophone element just makes it a lot more socially acceptable.

Sack 'Em Up, Pt. I / Sack 'Em Up, Pt. II - Gwenifer Raymond: Bandcamp had a really good article about American Primitive the other day https://daily.bandcamp.com/2018/10/10/american-primitive-list/ and I found this album in it and fell completely in love instantly. I listened to it five times in a row. It's just incredible and I'm so glad that the music I love is finally being rescued from the mire of New Acoustic youtube men with their slapping and tapping and harp guitars and moving forward in new ways with artists like Sarah Louise, Marisa Anderson and Gwenifer Raymond. Women are finally allowed to play guitar now and thank fuck. One of the things I really appreciate about this album is just how written it feels. Every part, even the very swirly Part One of this song feels very purposeful, and if not totally written at least improvised in a tight framework before moving into the completely written second half. There's nothing wrong with improv but in a genre like this that's almost overrun with guys putting out hour long improv records it's refreshing to hear someone with such a clear vision execute it so expertly.

Bleeding Finger Blues - Gwenifer Raymond: Also, get a fucking load of this. An absolute powerhouse performance from a master. There's not enough solo banjo music around and it's a shame because I don't know if there's a better argument for banjo as a solo instrument than this song. The other thing I like about this album is there’s three banjo songs on it, which works well for breaking up the sequencing and making each song really distinct in a genre where albums can really blend together.

4:30 - Danger: It's a shame that Danger never really fulfilled his potential. With songs as good as this as 19:11 he seemed set. But then he took about a decade off before his debut album and I guess he lost something along the way. Anyway, doesn't matter because when you've got a song as good as this it's all you need. Also here's a good video where someone just put this song over the bar scene from Terminator which really accentuates the vibe in my opinion. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z37R39-mff8

Crybaby - Abra: I love love love the production on this. A friend sent it to me because he said it reminded him of the Call Me Mr Telephone song I was raving about and he’s absolutely right. I love how formless it is, it goes through about three different verse ideas before finally getting to the chorus at about a minute and a half in and it’s only stronger for it. I’m so glad a new generation of darkwave adjacent people are discovering freestyle because this is great.

OMG!!! - Yelle: This song is probably best experienced with the music video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eoWK4rV3INY It’s fantastic on its own, especially the “oh my god!” sample and the whole chorus section, but the video - titties out, covered in glitter, very very good dance move for the rising 'ooo' part, a hamster is there. Really accentuates it.

Copacabana (At The Copa) - Barry Manilow: Was thinking about this song the other day. Woke up with it in my head actually which was strange. I feel like this song and the Pina Colada song definitely take place in the same cinematic universe.

King Of The Dead - Cirith Ungol: I've been rereading Lord Of The Rings and also a very dodgy 70s sci-fi series called Dray Prescot and so divine fate has drawn me to discover Cirith Ungol. The good kind of metal where all the album covers could also be fantasy novel covers and all the songs are about how cool it would be to slay an ancient demon with a sword. I love this song because it feels impossible to sing it without doing some very dramatic face acting and also his voice is completely insane. I feel like this is maybe just how he talks.

Sugaree 10/21/1978 - Grateful Dead: Grateful Dead are good and ever since I came to terms with that I've felt like I'm always on the precipice of buying a box of tapes, covering my car in confusing stickers and dropping completely out of society. The problem with a big chunk of live Dead recordings that I've heard is that while the playing is always on point, the vocals can vary wildly - especially when they try any kind of harmony, but this recording is just great. Fantastic vocals with a lot of feeling, ample crowd noise so it doesn't feel like just a sterile soundboard recording, and of course an incredible extended jam.

Ring De Bell - Brother Resistance: I don't fully understand what rapso music is yet, I don't have enough understanding of the culture or surrounding genres. I basically just found this Best Of compilation and have been listening to it a LOT. As I understand it it's 70s Trinidadian calypso music that got very political, which is very cool. I'm a big fan of this sort of lyric where it feels like you could just go on and on for days about all the places you should ring the bell.

Kojack - David Rudder: The crown jewel of this compilation is of course this song I've posted about before and absolutely love to death. A protest song about them taking Kojack off the TV because it's too violent when shows like Dallas and Dynasty, which are far worse, remain on the air. Miami Vice! Before youtube comments and online petitions you had to make extremely good songs about this kind of thing, and its a huge shame that we've allowed this to die.

The Power Of Love - Celine Dion: I love Celine Dion because all her songs sound like they were recorded across 5 countries and 8 different studios and cost two million dollars. They always sound too expensive for casual listening to me, like I should have an emergency mink coat on me at all times just in case The Power Of Love starts playing in a supermarket.

Airworks - J Dilla: I've been listening to Donuts a bunch this month and really thinking about what makes him so good and the vast legion of Dilla imitators on soundcloud bad and I think this song is a good example. The main sample sounds straight up ugly, it's backwards and twisted to hell, the main strings part keeps folding over itself, it's just chaos but completely controlled chaos. Every imitator is so afraid to make a total mess like he does and is too focused on the underpinning laid-backness of the beat, where Dila somehow makes the relaxed feeling easily as a result of a million clashing elements.

Anti-American Graffiti - J Dilla: I also found a playlist on Spotify where someone had put together Donuts with all of the the original tracks it sampled (or at least the ones that are available on Spotify) and it's such an illuminating new way to listen to this album. https://open.spotify.com/user/keatonkreps/playlist/1TPeWt38uceWXD1Vhyf7wx?si=NJ_jHrYqQpCt18q-W9nrag

Marvel - Solillaquists Of Sound: Every genre has good music in it. Even rappity rap conscious hip hop has good songs like this one. There’s another song on this album called Popcorn that’s basically the It’s Media picture converted to a .wav but this song is good. Especially her vocals when they come in halfway through sounding like an astrology zine except good.

Rock Island Line - Johnny Cash: Johnny Cash has around one million songs about trains, including ‘Blue Train’, ‘Train Of Love’ and a song called ‘I’ve Got A Thing About Trains’ but this is the best one because it’s about train-related fraud and doing perhaps the most outlaw country manoeuvre ever and telling the toll man that you’re carrying livestock when you are in fact carrying pig iron.

I <3 U So (Skream's Made Zdar Feel Like He Was 20 Again Remix) - Cassius: Also as a kind of coda, here's Skream's version of I <3 U So, where he's completely ironed it out and turned it into a pulsing dnb thing which is always impressive to me when people completely reverse the feel of a song in a remix.

Worms Of The Senses / Faculties Of The Skull - Refused: Stereogum had a really good article about The Shape Of Punk To Come on its 20th anniversary and whether it really did turn out to be the shape of punk to come. They asked a bunch of people whether the title seemed arrogant and the vocalist from La Dispute had a really good answer where he said "But it’s like calling your shot and then fuckin’ hitting a home run. If it was arrogant, it was justifiably so." which is so great. https://www.stereogum.com/2020358/refused-shape-of-punk-to-come-turns-20/franchises/sounding-board/​

listen here

[miller86vistisen-blog]

5 Simple Statements About youtube video Explained

Sometime persons can’t see what you are doing.... But retain Performing difficult and quicker or later on they can see #frankthehost#dmvevents#dmvmusic#dmvhost so After i commenced it i legitly thought it a was just shojo anime you knw a woman amd a guy who slide in love,but NOOO was i Erroneous! Lets start with the plot, izumi and ryoma created a comercial with each other as Children but izumi was gown up as Female for specific factors, Ryoma winds up falling in love with Izumi and he literally stays in love w him for a decade! Maybe she was a good woman who just wished to be sort? She probably won't know what It is really choose to be really large. Maybe it doesnt reallt issue WHAT she thinks as it's what I feel that basically matters. During this excerpt from your model-new podcast The TED Interview, the beloved author tells us how she's learning to Are living with decline. Cover art by Steve Mabley! @sciottomusic#hardrock#guitar#acoustic#electricguitar#trio#prog#progressiverock#progrock#riffs#jams#dcmusic#originalmusic#dmvmusic#concert#albumrelease#albumdrop#countdown#albumreleaseparty#albumreleaseshow ⭐️ #farsalicare JELLY BEAM GLAZED to highlight my nose, interior corner, brow bone and my bawdy ..im not highlighting my cheeks cuz im tryna Select a youthful “i don't have any anxiety and obtain a lot of rest” appear and highlighting the JUST Middle of your respective face provides that #losangeles #california #mademagicbyowls #happy #couplesgoals #make-up #californialove Examine additional djnicolemy Media Eradicated QOTD: Do you go on a sequence Should the handles change?? Like, do you have to have matching handles? A clip of Sacred Females by Jeff Scott (composed in 2011) from our live performance this earlier Saturday evening. Such an awesome piece! Can’t hold out to play it once more! @jeffscott9167 . . . #nationalchamberwinds#windensemble#windmusic#chambermusic#classicalmusic#classicalmusician#dmvmusic#dmvmusicians#washingtondc#washingtondcmusic#washingtondcgram#washingtondcevents#dccool#dclife#marylandmusic#virginiamusic#concert events#classicalconcert#winddectet#doublequintet#woodwind#clarinet#oboe#flute#bassoon#horn#musiciansofinstagram#audio#clarinetlander for those who didnt get tagged dont get pissy lah probs just forgot or i didnt have as wonderful of the time as Other individuals, u'll have to make a decision i dont want this to generally be soppy and shit And that i wanna finish on the substantial Take note so peace out, and SHORTS GANG FANNYS For all times !! ❤ Read more iamdanieladam Media Eliminated LAST Move FRIDAY OF THE Yr . 2018 coming to an conclude, and I gotta hold it actual We are now living in a earth wherever social websites closely influences our perceptions. Why Is that this important? Mainly because social networking has grown to be a breeding floor for superficiality, judgement, and self-loathing. Oh you might have ... Final Move FRIDAY On the 12 months Dont be scared to intention large with the targets but you should definitely can crack it down into compact steps to acquire there. In case you were bodyweight lifting, you wouldnt just manage to get the largest weight and heft it about your head. You need to perform as many as it. And most of all, love the procedure! Both personal people today[257] and enormous generation providers[258] have applied YouTube to grow audiences. youtube video have created grassroots followings numbering within the thousands at little Price or hard work, although mass retail and radio marketing proved problematic.[257] Concurrently, aged media superstars moved into the web site with the invitation of a YouTube management that witnessed early written content creators accruing considerable followings, and perceived audience sizes perhaps larger than that attainable by tv.[258] Even though YouTube's earnings-sharing "Partner Method" produced it feasible to receive a substantial residing to be a video producer—its top 5 hundred companions each earning over $a hundred,000 annually[259] and its 10 optimum-earning channels grossing from $2. I'm not good with speeches and describin and its bot an excellent clarification for leavin but i just cant contend with the detest on shios and sometimes on my acc *cough* Terrible edits and comics*cough* and many of the unfollowers and ghosties and all of the stress and Moreover my edits and comics are Terrible All YouTube users can upload videos nearly quarter-hour Each and every in period. People that have an excellent reputation of complying Using the web-site's Group Tips could be provided a chance to add videos nearly twelve hours in size, along with Dwell streams, which needs verifying the account, Commonly via a cellphone.[82][eighty three] When YouTube was launched in 2005, it had been feasible to upload extended videos, but a ten-minute Restrict was released in March 2006 immediately after YouTube located that the majority of videos exceeding this length ended up unauthorized uploads of television exhibits and movies. At enough time of uploading a video, YouTube people are proven a message asking them never to violate copyright regulations.[326] Irrespective of this recommendation, there remain lots of unauthorized clips of copyrighted product on YouTube. YouTube would not see videos before They may be posted on line, and it's still left to copyright holders to problem a DMCA takedown recognize pursuant to your conditions of the Online Copyright Infringement Legal responsibility Limitation Act. Any effective criticism about copyright infringement results in a YouTube copyright strike. Three productive complaints for copyright infringement from a consumer account will result in the account and all of its uploaded videos currently being deleted.

[maevefiction]

Your Light in the Mist - Chapter 48

Tom remained at Wilcox Medical until July 11th, and I didn’t leave his side for more than a few minutes during the entirety of his stay…a navy-blue leather recliner to the left of his bed had served as my sleeping spot. Said sleep was elusive, as is the case with any hospital stay. It’s all a blur of doctors and nurses and machines and strange periods of quiet that turn into an assaultive dissonance on a dime. Detective Frye paid us a visit at the hospital the day before Tom was discharged in order to discuss his recollection of the incident, aspiring to fill in as many blanks remaining in the police report as possible. Since there was no one to prosecute, such matters were for the record only, but accurate information was essential in the event that a civil suit was filed by Claudia’s family. I was initially taken aback when Tom asked me to leave the room while he spoke with the detective, and it must have shown on my face because Tom quickly apologized and said he simply wasn’t ready for me to hear any of it, even though I might be ready to listen. Upon my return an hour later, Frye was gone and Tom was visibly upset, with an underlying anger reflected by the tension in his shoulders and the set of his jaw. Though it was a challenge, I didn’t pry, settling instead for squeezing his hand before I retired to my chair and sat in silence with him until he was ready to talk. And when he did, it was about everything and anything other than whatever it was that he’d just shared with a complete stranger.  

His recovery had gone smoothly, but we’d found ourselves taking what amounted to a forced vacation in a rented condo on Kauai, waiting for Tom to be cleared to fly to San Diego so he could, hopefully, arrive there in time to participate in the Kong Skull Island panel. Since we’d be in Australia for a large chunk of my pregnancy, I’d decided to choose an obstetrician there, and had managed to find one in London as well who was willing to follow along and take over once we returned home in mid-to-late November. That date was tentative at best since we weren’t sure what physical limitations or restrictions Tom would have nor how they’d affect the Ragnarok shooting schedule. I’d had a basic blood work-up and general physical exam at Wilcox, and when that turned out fine I opted to wait on a sonogram. It seemed silly, but I just didn’t want to forever associate the experience of seeing our progeny for the first time with…whatever the correct term for what we were going through was. Prog…that’s what we’d started calling the little bugger that was making me violently ill at least once a day. Short for progeny, with a ‘j’ sound. The Prog.

Diana, James and the rest of Tom’s family had headed home as soon as he’d been discharged, but Luke and Simon stuck around under the guise of not wanting to fly to London only to have to turn around and fly right back to the US again for SDCC. In reality, I knew the reason for them remaining was because they figured we’d need their companionship and assistance but wouldn’t want to ask for either, which was one-hundred percent correct. They’d taken on the task of finding the rental, packing up our belongings at the hotel and having them ready and waiting when we arrived. No one even asked if I wanted to do it myself, for which I was grateful, because there was no way I was going back there. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able go back there…just looking through our wedding pictures and videos pushed me to the edge of the ‘massive anxiety attack ahead’ cliff, and, in all honesty, I couldn’t wait to get the fuck off of Kauai. Remaining there seemed to make it impossible to process, to try to move forward. I’d begun having nightmares, as had Tom, but we didn’t speak of them in the daylight hours, nor in the dark of night. I knew that there was work to be done, that we needed to find a pathway to healing emotionally…but that didn’t seem possible until things in the physical realm were fully sorted.

Tom’s first follow-up appointment had taken place on the 13th, his second – and last – on the 18th. Dr. Salinas gave him clearance to travel and return to normal physical activity with some limitations…no running and no stunt work for thirty days. After that it would be business as usual, but for the next three months he’d need to self-monitor, and if he noticed any pain or atypical shortness of breath he was to head to the nearest medical facility immediately. Copies of all related paperwork would be sent to the proper department at Marvel for review, and the new shooting schedule emailed once it had been established. Since he was fine to do a majority of planned scenes, it was likely only three weeks or so of actual filming time would be lost. Which was bad enough, but…could have been worse. So much worse. I wondered if I’d always think that way, and if it wasn’t actually a bad way to evaluate one’s current situation. All things should seem less horrible when you pause to consider what’s worse, in theory. I decided to file it under ‘convenient diversionary tactics to avoid dealing with life’, mainly because my pondering had been interrupted by another round of heaving up the contents of my stomach.

All four of us shared a charter to San Diego on the 21st, heading directly from the airport to the same hotel we’d stayed in the year before via a car service. Stepping out of the black Dodge Durango and onto the pavement was surreal…a mix of reporters, media, and attendees thrilled to be among their people again were all around us, and we were paid little to no mind until we entered the lobby. There were stares, pointing, and whispering as well as several shouts from well-wishers. While it was a bit overwhelming after spending so much time in a private setting, the positive energy emanating from those within our space reminded me that there were likely some folks who’d been concerned about us and had been sending along that same energy from a distance via social media. I hadn’t looked, and neither had Tom, but now was probably the time to investigate and at least post a simple thank you if nothing else. I didn’t want to, but it seemed rude not to, so I added it to my mental to-do list.

After check-in we took the elevator up to our floor, and when the doors opened I could feel my body tense at the sight of the narrow hallway. Tom and I stepped out into it, leaving Luke and Simon behind as their room was two floors above us. We walked to our room, the third one on the left, and when I turned to face the door a vision of Claudia knocking on it froze me in place. Once Tom completed sliding the keycard and swung the door inward the contents of the room were clearly visible, and though slow to process the data, my brain cycled logically…not Kauai, different place, dead Claudia, all clear…and I managed to step forward and inside. The door shut behind me with a loud click, and I flinched, then headed for the bathroom. Tom had pulled out his phone and begun talking to someone I assumed was either Jordan or a fellow cast member about the panel’s structure and content. He was still engaged in conversation when I emerged a few minutes later, standing in front of the window that overlooked the city. The setting sun, now at its lowest visible point on the horizon, had created a halo effect that surrounded his upper body, and in that moment, I felt like myself again…normal, even. My version of normal, anyway. And then, there was a knock on the door, and I panicked, whimpering quietly because that’s all my body would permit. Tom didn’t realize anything was awry at first, only turning around when the knocking continued. He took one look at my face, tossed his phone on the bed, and walked quickly to stand in front of me as he loudly stated to whomever was out in the hallway that he’d be right there.

He took my face in his hands ever so carefully, trying his best to keep himself even-keeled for my benefit. “It’s okay. It’s probably just our luggage. I’ll go see, and I promise I’ll leave the bolt on until I’m certain. All right?”

I nodded, watching him from the foot of the bed, unconsciously clenching my hands into fists as I waited for something terrible to unfold. As the door opened my heart began to pound like mad, and when I saw the luggage dolly I sat down, elbows on my knees and my head in my hands…relieved, but confused and embarrassed by my behavior. I heard the door close again, then felt Tom’s weight shift the mattress as he sat beside me. I lifted my head slowly as he slipped his arm around my shoulders. I wanted to say something but I didn’t know where or how to begin, and since he remained silent I assumed he felt the same way. Though it felt wrong to judge so quickly, this was becoming a pattern, and it made me uncomfortable across the board. We hadn’t been intimate since the night before the public wedding ceremony and learning that I was pregnant, and it felt petty and selfish to even be thinking about not having fucked my husband in three weeks when I’d almost lost him forever, but I missed him, missed the reinforcement of the connection between us sex provided, all of it. It had been officially off the table until the restrictions Dr. Salinas had imposed were lifted, and while I’d been expecting to get back to it right away his expectations clearly differed. To be honest, he’d expressed no interest in it whatsoever. I didn’t know what to make of it, and it was another instance of me saying nothing because I had no clue as to what I should say, if anything. I’d also caught him looking at me on multiple occasions while wearing an expression of guilt and/or regret and again, said nothing. A pattern indeed, and an awful one that I was unsure how to break free of, other than being patient until it ran its course. Lord knew he’d been ceaselessly patient with me all along the way, the situation he’d just navigated serving as a prime example. Was that the right way to handle this? Fuck if I knew. What I did know that I was exhausted, and softly announced that I was going to try to get some rest. He kissed the top of my head, rose and began to unpack our luggage as I undressed and crawled under the covers. As I lay there, I realized that it wasn’t only him who hadn’t revealed the details of their experience that day…neither had I. Yet, he’d known the circumstances, enough, at least, to know someone knocking at the door was something I might now find frightening. Had he watched a video of the press conference? Discussed it with Luke or Simon? Or, perhaps, Detective Frye? I sat up, intending to broach the subject, but found myself trapped between needing resolution and wanting to avoid causing him any additional pain. His voice startled me.

“Maude? You okay?”

I stood, nodding. “Tired, but can’t sleep. Gonna take a shower and see if that helps.”

As I walked past him, he set the shirts in his hand down on the dresser in order to reach out for me, pulling me to his chest and kissing the top of my head again, then releasing me. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” The carry-on that contained my toiletries was on the floor near him, and I stooped to pick it up and brought it with me into the bathroom. After closing the door behind me, I started to cry. I cried as I unpacked what I needed. I cried as I turned on the water, I cried as I shampooed my hair, I cried as I rinsed it, I cried as I soaped myself and rinsed again, and I cried as I dried myself off and hung the towel back on the rack. My eyes were red when I glanced at my reflection, so I wet a washcloth with cold water and held it over them for several minutes then checked myself out again. Not ideal, but acceptable. I blew my nose, then walked back out into the room. Tom had finished unpacking and was sitting at the room’s desk, laptop open in front of him. He looked up at me, smiling.

“Better?”

“I think so.” I put my hands on my naked hips. “You coming to bed?”

“Not yet…going over a few things for the panel tomorrow. Will it keep you awake if I’m working?”

I shook my head as I allowed my hands to drop to my sides. “I don’t think so. I can always put my earbuds in and listen to music if it does.”

“Okay. I can’t imagine I’ll be at this for more than an hour, honestly, so I’ll be joining you soon. Get some sleep, my love.”

“Okay.” I returned to my tangle of sheets and blankets, my damp hair clinging to my neck, my back turned to him. There was, of course, no sleep to be had, though I pretended to be out cold when he finally settled in beside me two hours later. Once I was positive he was asleep, I got up, put on my robe, pulled out my own laptop and sat at the desk he’d recently vacated to do my own work. Which didn’t require much effort, as the only pressing task on my list was the Skype interview I had set with Chad Morrison for the New York Times tomorrow at 1 PM. I reviewed the most recent Manageall stats Trudy had sent me, created a bullet-point list, then spent the next few hours surfing around checking out random things that I thought might hold my interest and, perhaps, entertain me. I woke up in a puddle of drool with my hand beneath my head resting on the desk, my browser still open and displaying an article entitled ‘Gentle Yoga For A Better Birth’. The system clock read 6:17 AM, and a quick glance at the bed confirmed Tom was still sleeping. I stood, removed my robe, hit the bathroom and then slipped in beside him, waiting for him to awaken and for the day to begin. A new location, a full schedule, little time to dwell…and, hopefully, all of that would amount to first steps down that pathway we needed to traverse.

***************************************

SDCC had gone off without a hitch…everyone was incredibly respectful, and kind. I don’t know why I would have expected anything else, other than that little voice I kept hearing inside my head whispering things like ‘they know it’s all your fault’. My interview with Chad had been published on July 25th, and by the time we arrived on the Gold Coast in Queensland on the 28th Manageall had surpassed the ten thousand subscriber mark. That kept me busy over the next week as I scrambled from our rental house just outside of Oxenford to remotely help Trudy configure new servers and ensure that the system could handle three times our existing traffic, just in case. Five new employees were added within the space of two days, and all but one stayed on board despite being thrown into the fray with little to no training. Ten-thousand plus subscribers was A Big Deal…aka the amount that tipped our monthly gross revenue over the million-dollar mark. It was a milestone that warranted a discussion, one which Luke and I decided to have in person once I returned to London.

Tom had begun filming at Village Roadshow Studios on July 30th, waking each morning at 4 AM, leaving by 4:30 and returning home each night well after 10 PM, showering, then falling into bed exhausted. To make up for lost time, the shooting schedule would be six days a week until a temporary relocation to Brisbane happened in late August. My schedule mirrored his, mainly in order to account for the 9-hour time difference between Queensland and London. When I’d contact Trudy or Luke at 5 AM my time, it was 8 PM the night before where they were. A mindfuck, truly, and it meant I was done working every day by 11 AM at the latest, which left me with entirely too much time to think. Things between Tom and I were still as they were back in San Diego…no conversations about the incident, no sex. Every day had begun to represent another brick being added to the wall building between us. There was no animosity, we still talked about a broad spectrum of other things, still slept in the same bed, but there was a sense of necessitated cautiousness and a distance that hadn’t been there before.

The obstetrician I’d chosen, Dr. Bresden, practiced out of Brisbane, and my first appointment was scheduled for 1 PM on August 15th. The drive up would take about an hour or so, but we figured we’d leave at 11 and allow ourselves some extra time. If my guess as to when I’d conceived was correct, I’d reached the 13-week mark, possibly the 14th, and over the past eight days I hadn’t puked once, which was both awesome and anxiety inducing. Did it mean I was progressing normally, or was, you know, something WRONG? The evening before the sonogram was rough…I was obsessing over the morning sickness waning, and my nightmares had gotten continually worse, to the point wherein I began to dread going to sleep. We’d gone out to dinner with Chris and Elsa, who decided it was time to share their horror stories about child-rearing and childbirth now that Tom and I were official pledges to the Paternity Fraternity. I bitched about it the entire way home, then continued to complain about it after we’d arrived back at the rental house until I thought I heard Tom sigh heavily, at which point I had to decide whether or not to flip the fuck out or let it pass. Since I couldn’t be totally sure, and also because I could readily admit I had one foot over the cray-cray side of the fence, I let it go and we turned in for the night.

The next thing I knew, I was screaming, Tom was yelling, and my hands hurt like a motherfucker. I took stock of my surroundings and realized I was standing in front of the closed bedroom door. Looking down, I saw knuckles that were bruised and bloodied, as were the pinky-sides of my hands. When I looked back up and left and my gaze met Tom’s, my screaming stopped and his yelling ceased, replaced with a loud gasp of relief that was nearly a sob.

“What the fuck HAPPENED? I was asleep. How am I here? I don’t understand.” I reached out and touched the door with a fingertip, searching for confirmation that this was, in fact, reality, and as soon as I pressed down a jolt of pain hit my brain and I…remembered, my body twisting so I could face Tom.

“The Marriott, but…not the real Marriott. I was in the hallway, and you were dead, right there on the floor, and she was dead next to you, and I was just staring and staring and then she moved. She moved. And then she sat up, and she had the gun and she said ‘did you really think you were getting out of here alive’ and then she stood up and it was like something out of the Walking Dead, her eyes were all filmy and when she opened her mouth I could see right through because the back of her head was just…gone. And I turned around and ran down the hall and I tried all the room doors but they were all locked and then I got to the end of the hall and where there should have been stairs there was a door, a metal door, and the handle moved up and down like it was open but it wouldn’t open and I kept looking back over my shoulder and she was moving so slowly, but I couldn’t get the door to open and down at the other end of the hall was just a wall. She talked again and said she was going to wait until she got close to me to pull the trigger because she wanted to watch, she wanted to see…and I screamed for help, for someone to let me out, but no one came and I started to pound on the door, first with the sides of my fists, but then I started to punch it because she kept getting closer and the she touched me, her hand was on my shoulder and I swung around and punched her in the face and I thought she was going to fall down but she didn’t and then I tried to grab the gun but she wouldn’t let go and I went back to hitting the door and jiggling the handle but I knew I was going to die and then…then I…I was here…”

It felt like my heart was going to pound right out of my chest, and as I reached out to touch Tom to make sure I really wasn’t still inside a nightmare I noticed that the left side of his jaw was reddish-purple and that it was streaked with blood. My hands rose in an instant to cover my mouth, and when I spoke my voice was muffled and garbled.

“Oh my god, I hit YOU, didn’t I? Not her. YOU.” I lowered my hands, briefly assessing their condition once more and realizing that the blood on his face was most likely from my knuckles. “Oh my god. Tom, I’m so sorry…so sorry…are you okay? Jesus fucking CHRIST. What ELSE did I do? What is WRONG with me?!”

He stepped forward and embraced me, rubbing my back in slow circles and rocking me gently until he felt my heart rate returned to normal. Pulling back, he placed his hands on my upper arms, eyes focused on mine. “There’s nothing wrong with you. That was a night terror. I knew the risk of intervening…you’re never supposed to, but I couldn’t just stand aside and…anyway. I’m fine. How are you feeling?”

I shrugged, shaking my head back and forth slowly.

“I know. I’m so very sorry, Maude. First things first…those knuckles of yours need to be cleaned, And, we both could use some ice. Will you come to the kitchen with me? We’ll get that bit sorted, and then we can figure out what’s next. All right?” I nodded, and he stepped back, leaving one arm around my waist. He unlocked the bedroom door, opened it, then led me to the counter that held the undermounted stainless steel sink. We were both nude, and as he leaned forward to open the tap and set the right temperature with his free hand I felt the brush of his pubic hair across my hip, then again as he pulled back and released me in order to go find a clean kitchen towel. More than a year ago in New Orleans I’d had a brief case of performance anxiety after he’d revealed his full sexual history, but this, this was the first time ever that being naked in his presence made me feel uncomfortable. It was more than that, really…I felt self-conscious and exposed. I wrapped my arms around myself, and when he returned to my side I spoke, my chin lowered to my chest as I stared down at the water circling the drain.

“Would you mind getting me my robe?”

He placed two tan and white towels on the counter. “No, not at all…shall I turn the thermostat up a few degrees as well?”

I shook my head. “No thank you. I’m not cold.”

He hesitated, and I said nothing, continuing to stare. I heard his bare feet padding across the tile, the sound fading as he entered the bedroom. Upon the resumption of the sound I forced myself to lift my head and turn to look at him as he drew closer. In his hands was my black silk robe, and when I noticed he’d put on his navy-blue running shorts it dawned on me that by saying I wasn’t cold I’d clued him in as to what was on my mind, at least in part. He held the garment open so I could slip into it easily, his eyes averted as I carefully worked my arms through the sleeves. Though it wasn’t exactly pleasant, I tied the belt on my own. The water was still running, and he reached in and dipped his index finger into the stream.

“That feels all right to me.” His voice was nearly toneless, any emotion present seeming somehow forced. He reached for my right wrist, then paused, eyes asking for permission when I met his gaze. I nodded, then turned to watch as his hand encircled my wrist and guided my knuckles slowly into the streaming water. When I winced at the intensity of the stinging he spoke again, voice now trembling.

“I’m sorry.” He patted my right hand dry ever-so-gently, then moved on to my left. I winced again as the water made contact, noting that Tom’s own hands had begun to shake. By the time he’d dried my left hand off with the second towel, his entire body was quivering, and at that point I realized he was weeping. My head jerked upward and I swiveled my torso so I could see his face. He looked down and away, holding his hand up palm out toward me as he strode rapidly into the living room. I followed, and when I came to rest directly in front of him he spun around, leaving me with a view of his bare shoulders and back contorting as he sobbed.

This was it, then…the tipping point. Seeing him this way overrode my own emotional disarray, and I couldn’t imagine that anything I might say would make the situation worse, so I went all in.

“Tom. We need to talk.” He shook his head, and I gingerly placed my hand on his upper back between his shoulder blades. “Tom.” The contact was broken by him taking two steps forward. “Okay, no touching. That’s fine. But…”

He spun back around, blinking to clear his vison. “You want to touch me?”

“Of course I want to touch you. Why wouldn’t I want to touch you?”

His arms rose from his sides, bent at the elbow with his hands extended, fingers splayed and pointing in my direction as he looked me up and down. “Since you don’t want me to see you, I’m assuming you’d prefer that I also don’t touch you, which leads me to believe you’d prefer to not see or touch me, either.”

“That’s an incorrect assumption all around. I’d prefer it if you did touch me. But you haven’t, not in the way I’d expect you to, and you’ve given me no indication as to why you haven’t, which has caused me to assume that you’re no longer interested in me sexually, which has ultimately resulted in my feeling self-conscious and exposed when standing naked in your presence. Is my assumption as off base as yours?” Not an easy question to ask, that one. I hadn’t thought it through and wondered what the fuck would happen if he said no.

He nodded repeatedly. “Yes. It is. Completely.”

I lifted my arms and extended them outward at shoulder height, palms to the ceiling. “And that’s precisely why we need to talk, Tom. Ow.” Down went the arms, though it didn’t really do a whole hell of a lot for the throbbing ache in my hands. “We’ve avoided this conversation for far too long…instead we danced around the subject in an effort to prevent causing each other any additional pain. But that didn’t work. That never works, and I know that, but here we are…staring at each other across an ever-widening chasm which will eventually grow too vast to bridge. This distance, this disconnect…it’s awful. I’ve seen the pain in your eyes, and the anger, the guilt, the regret…and there’s my own shit I need to talk about…but I’ve stayed silent for fear of hurting you and I don’t want to do that anymore, Tom. I don’t think I CAN do it anymore.” There were two beige micro-fiber chairs on one side of the living room, and a matching couch on the other. We were standing between them, and I sat down at one end of the sofa. Tom hesitated at the other end briefly, then decided to sit in the middle, right by my side, and began to speak.

“I’m afraid. It terrifies me, the thought of my lung collapsing again. What if the next time I’m not so fortunate? What if it kills me, and you’re left here alone, and our child grows up without ever knowing me? All day long, with everything I do that’s even remotely physical, I’m aware of every breath that seems even remotely atypical, every twinge of the muscles in my torso. I’ve been counting down and focusing on the three-month marker because that’s when the risk of it happening again decreases to align with the norm. I’ve promised myself that then, that’s it, there’s no further need to worry, that I can let it go. I want to let it go. I hope I can let it go. But that’s why I haven’t…we haven’t. I wouldn’t want you to have to live with that, us loving each other being the end of me. And I should have told you. I should have. And I’m sorry. There’s another reason as well, and it’s a completely irrational fear but it feels real, and present. I’m sure it’s relative in some fashion to my past loss, but…I…”

Thinking in such a macabre and medieval-esque fashion was not Tom’s style, and that his mind had gone there was indicative of what a mess he’d been, and I was both impressed with and distressed by how well he’d managed it all from me. “You’re afraid that if we have sex I might have a miscarriage.”

He turned to face me, nodding. “It’s ludicrous. This I know. It’s not specifically that sex would be the cause, but if such a thing were to happen within close proximity of the act…and Maude, I just…I…I feel like death is just…it’s always lurking…even on set, you know? Loki’s role in Ragnarok is redemptive, there’s a comprehensive resolution, and he finally is able to ascertain his place in the universe and be at peace with it, and perhaps begin to experience happiness, or at least contentment…but I know what awaits him, that this moment for him is fleeting at best and I can’t help but see parallels there to my own reality.” Pausing, he rested his head in his hands, then moved them slowly back to his lap as he turned sideways, right leg bent with his knee on the couch resting centimeters from my left thigh. I shifted to mirror his position as he swallowed hard before continuing.

“I was mid-way through my run when I saw her. She waved at me as if her being there was perfectly normal. It made my blood boil, and instead of having the wherewithal to get back to the hotel as quickly as possible I approached her. I asked her what the fuck she was doing there, and told her she needed to leave immediately or she’d wind up with a police escort off the property. The mask of a friendly greeting fell away and she said ‘How could you let her to this to me, Tom? Let her ruin my life? I did what I had to do so she couldn’t trap you, and instead of being grateful you let her lie about me to the world, and then you married her. You married her, when you know how much I love you. And you love me. We belong together, you know that. She’s brainwashed you, that’s what’s going on here. She’s trying to keep us apart, and you can’t just roll over and and let it happen. Tom, come with me right now. We’ll run away and be happy, you and me, just us. Please. You have to come with me.’ And I told her I would do no such thing, that not only did I not love her, I regretted every moment I’d spent with her and that I wished I’d never met her, that I wished I could go back in time and tell her to get the fuck away from me when she crawled under the table to suck my dick. That whenever I thought about having fucked her it made me physically ill. And then I told her I was so lucky and so blessed that in spite of the mistakes I’d made I’d found you, that I’d never loved anyone like you before, and I never would again. Her response was that this was all your fault, that you’d stolen me away from her, and that if she couldn’t have me, no one would…and that’s when she pulled the gun out of the gift bag and shot me. The pain knocked me down and back and I fell onto the sand, and she put the gun back in the bag and said she really thought she wouldn’t need to use it, but I was too far gone and you were to blame. And that if she was going to have to pay for her crimes, you’d have to pay for yours too. She smiled at me, knelt down in the sand, kissed my check, said goodbye, then got up and took off running down the beach toward the hotel. I sat up, and the pain…and the blood…but I had to go after her. Each step I took seemed an eternity, and I couldn’t run, but I needed to get to you. I realized I’d never catch her, and that I was close to Luke and Simon’s room, so I began to walk that way. And then I crawled. But it wasn’t enough. I couldn’t get to you. I set all this in motion, there in that moment. I let my anger get the best of me and we both almost died because of it. In LA, when she threw the highball glass at you…I should have known. Up until that moment I was her focus, and she still believed that her and I would have a relationship at some point. You were just a minor inconvenience, a bump in the road. When she discovered that you knew about the videos…that’s where the shift happened. You became her target, the one to blame. I didn’t see it. I should have seen it. Having you speak at the press conference instead of handling it on my own was akin to painting a bullseye on your chest. And when you needed me most, when I should have been the one to face the monster I’d invited into my orbit, I wasn’t there for you, or for our child. I wasn’t there, Maude. I couldn’t protect you. I couldn’t save you. I wasn’t THERE.”

For the first time in a long while…since our wedding day, really…I saw him…really saw him. Because he’d finally let me see him again. Sitting before me was a man so burdened by guilt and sorrow that he had no tears left to cry…an anxious, exhausted, depressed, defeated man positively teeming with self-loathing. My husband. A rush of pure, unadulterated love washed over me followed by an irrepressible urge to comfort him and banish all his fears that resulted in my reaching out and taking his hands in my damaged own, oblivious to the pain.

“Tom. No one sees this kind of thing coming. This is the stuff of late-night crime dramas and tragic Oscar-bait films. There was no way for you to know. I didn’t know, either…and believe me, I’ve beaten myself up for it, too. I’m the one who got in her face in LA and spouted off about prison. And no one ‘had’ me do anything…I stood at that podium of my own volition and called her bluff. I knew she’d be pissed, and I did it not only in spite of that fact, but, at least in a small way, because of it. The blame for that falls squarely on my shoulders. But what she did…no, Tom. It’s not your fault, it’s not my fault…that’s all on her. It was her choice. Her decision. And she was too much of a coward to answer for it. And even though I know all that, the logic behind it, I still feel guilty about how I handled all of it every day…and I thought you’d distanced yourself because you blamed me. Do you blame me?”

He shook his head, voice barely a whisper. “No. I thought the same…do you blame me?”

“No. I do not. I have not. Not even for a second. And there’s something else you need to know, Tom.” Those blue eyes full of trepidation met my brown ones. “You’re right about not being there…but you’re wrong about not protecting me, and you’re wrong about not being able to save me. When I opened that door and she was standing in the hallway, I was frozen in place. I couldn’t move. I watched the gun rise higher and higher and inside my head I was screaming ‘close the door, close the door’ but I couldn’t and then that faded and the only thought I had left was ‘she’s going to shoot me now’. And then I heard a man’s voice shouting for her to drop her weapon, and that broke the spell. That voice is the reason why I was able to get the door closed. That voice is the reason why those three bullets lodged in the door and not in my flesh. The man that voice belonged to? Police officer. And why was he there in exactly that place at precisely that time? Because you sent him, Tom. You sent him upstairs. You gave him the room number. You told him to go, GO! And he went.  If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t be sitting here with you on the couch right now…so I don’t ever want to hear you say you couldn’t protect me or that you couldn’t save me ever again. You might not have been by my side when it happened, but you saved my life and our child’s life all the same. And you risked your own life to do it, Tom. Dr. Salinas said if you’d have stayed still your lung wouldn’t have fully collapsed so quickly. But you didn’t stay still. You got up over and over again and kept going and being in restraints couldn’t even stop you. You almost died that day in order to make sure we didn’t. Do you understand that? You almost died. To save your family. If that’s not protecting what you love, then I don’t know what the fuck IS.”

When our eyes met his lower lip began to quiver and I tightened my grip on his hands. “That day, outside the recovery room, Dr. Salinas…she said that she couldn’t explain why you made it through so well…why you lived. She didn’t phrase it quite that way, but that was the gist of it. But I know why. When you got word that I was alive, that I was unharmed…you went to war. You waged a battle with the final enemy. And you were victorious. You returned to me, to us. You fought death that day and you won, Tom. You came back. You came home.”

His gaze turned toward our joined hands a he positioned his left ring finger so it was next to mine, the silver bands that bound us clinking softly together in the silence. He looked back up at me, the right corner of his mouth having curled upward in a half-smile, tears tracking down his cheeks and through his stubble like tiny pachinko balls. “When I promised to never let you go, I meant it.”

I began to sob then, as did Tom. He pulled me onto his lap, my bottom nestled between his thighs, legs sideways, feet resting on the cushion I’d just vacated. He wrapped his left arm around my waist, the right around my shoulders, hand cradling my head and pressing it gently to his left shoulder. He rocked us back and forth, side to side, his face buried in my hair. When the weeping ceased, I ran my right thumb along the base of his left one, that oddly sensual spot of flesh which allows lovers to steal moments of secret erotic pleasure in full view of the world. As he began to do the same in turn, there it was…a spark of the energy within us both demanding to be set free so it could unite each with the other’s and light our collective world ablaze. I raised my head to take stock of his expression, wondering if he felt it as well. His tongue snaked across his lips and I inhaled sharply, which earned me a an ecstatic eyeroll and a pelvic thrust from him, his cock hard against my ass. He kissed me then, both our mouths open from the start. There was no finesse in any of it, all tongues and saliva and clashing of teeth as he undid my robe and cupped my left breast in his right hand, thumb stroking back and forth over my nipple. His touch caused me to gasp and cant my hips, and I could feel his body tensing…whether it was with fear or desire, I couldn’t be certain. I removed his hand from my breast and stood up, then turned to face him as I let my robe drop from my shoulders and fall to the floor. Leaning forward, I placed my hands on his shoulders and stared into his eyes, again unsure of whether it was lust or terror at hand.  

“Tom, honey…please don’t put any pressure on yourself. It’s okay if you’re afraid. I understand. Now that I know why…I’m fine. Take your time with this. Please.”

He grabbed my hips and pulled me forward and down, his words nearly a growl. “I’m afraid I’ve reached the point wherein the chances of me dying are far greater if I can’t have you right now as opposed to any other scenario.” He looked up at me and for a second or two I would have sworn it was Loki whose eyes I saw, but then Tom was back where he belonged, expression now pleading. “Will you ride me?”

I nodded, placing one knee on either side of his lap. He didn’t even bother with removing his shorts, instead pushing back the elastic just enough to allow him to reach in and free his cock. When the head of it connected with my wetness we both groaned. I shifted forward so he was poised at my entrance but paused before welcoming him inside, needing assurance that he was certain about taking this step.

“Are you sure this is okay?”

He answered without hesitation, voice thick with desire. “Yes. I’m sure. I want you. I need you. I need to be inside you. Yes.”

I lowered myself onto his cock, relishing in the feel of it stretching me, filling me…of how it melded two separate beings into a combined entity that pulsed with unified power and unequaled pleasure. Tom’s head had lolled back onto the back of the couch, eyes closed, his elegant neck and jawline demanding attention from my tongue as I began to circle my hips. I was careful to avoid the bruised area, licking around and down until I reached the hollow of his collarbone, and the whine such ministrations elicited caused my unhurried gyrating to turn to a forceful, rapid rise and fall. His eyes opened, head lifting off the couch as he reached around to take hold of my ass cheeks, one in each hand, pulling outward.

“Maude. Oh Maude. MAUDE. Don’t stop please don’t stop I love you I love you I love you…” His lips found mine, tongue thrusting into my mouth as I rode him harder until he came, his breath and mine one and the same as his come painted my walls in a continuous gush of warm spurts that I thought might go on forever. His index finger found my clit and I orgasmed instantly, clenching and squeezing around him as if my body was insistent on locking him in place, an idea I thoroughly supported. It wasn’t until he broke the kiss and that I noticed he was panting, and I took his face in my hands, the past minutes eclipsed by a deep-seated concern for his well-being.

“Are you okay? Can you breathe? Do you have any pain? Tom?”

He inhaled, then exhaled, smiling softly. “No pain. Nothing unusual, just the normal effect being incredibly well fucked by my gorgeous wife has on me. I’m fine.” His smile faded, replaced with an expression of concern likely similar to the one he’d seen me wearing seconds before. “How are you? Everything okay?”

I nodded. “Yep. I’m good. Exhausted, but good. And all of a sudden I really, really want salt and vinegar potato chips. Like, bad. They have those here, right? Man…I can almost taste them…wow, this is…”

His smile returned as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close, our chests pressed together. “That sounds like it might be a craving. I believe I’m obligated to dress and head out now, in the middle of the night, to track down your snack of choice and bring it home posthaste.”

Though I admittedly salivated at the thought, my body’s need for sleep overrode what was in essence just a ‘want’. “As much as I appreciate your willingness to do so…no. The only place you’re going is back to bed with me. If you’re willing to risk round two, that is.” His left eyebrow rose, a small smirk that for some ridiculous reason made me blush appearing on his face. I rolled my eyes in an effort to distract him from the pink-hued heat that I could feel reaching my cheeks. “I meant round two as in a boxing match. You know, because I punched you? Round of boxing.”

He rubbed the tip of his nose against mine. “Oh goodness me…it appears I’ve got a blushing bride on my hands. Well, technically, on my cock, but…”

I covered my face with my hands as I shook my head. “Do you always have to notice EVERY LITTLE THING Tom? Seriously.”

He pulled my hands away carefully and kissed my forehead. “It’s adorable. Reminds me of the day we met…when we were in Kauai Pasta. You were sipping your soda and I watched the flush spread from your chest up your neck and that’s when you took too big a sip and began to choke.”

My jaw dropped. “Oh my god, you saw that? I was, like, half-joking about you noticing every little thing. Christ in a sidecar.”

Shrugging, he brought my left hand to his lips and placed a kiss in the center of my palm. “In my defense, I was bewitched. Mesmerized by your beauty, your essence…your everything. And I’ve always wondered what you were thinking of in that moment…”

“Oh you have, have you? Allow me to fill you in then. The server had just asked us if we wanted cocktails and I thought hmm, I wonder how that particular compound word came to be and that led me to…your cock, Tom. I was thinking about your cock.”

His brow furrowed, eyes narrowed in disbelief. “No you were not.”

I nodded, lips pressed together, eyes wide. “Oh, but yes I was. And, like, I’ve never STOPPED thinking about it so…you know, here we are.”

He roared with laughter, and I realized that it had been entirely far too long since I’d heard that sound, which made me tear up because that laugh…it was akin to a hymn, at least when it fell upon my ears, and my god, how I’d missed it. How I’d missed him.  When he noticed that not only had I not joined in but was visibly upset he guided my head to rest on his shoulder, one hand wound in my hair and the other rubbing my back as he whispered softly.

“Maude, it’s all right. I understand that you may be sad, or angry…whatever it is you’re feeling, I’m here for you. I’m so very, very sorry I haven’t been. But I am now. I’ll help you through all of it. I know it won’t always be easy, for either of us, but we can do it. Together. Together, there’s nothing we can’t do.”

I lifted my head and leaned back, reaching up to trace his jawline with my right index finger. “I’m not sad, really…and I’m not angry…it’s just…I just…I missed you.” I gestured down to where we remained joined. “I missed this. That’s probably selfish and stupid but you…you’re a part of me and this is when you’re MOST a part of me and…and…I’m very, very sorry too. I wasn’t there for you, either. And you’re right about it not always being easy, because this is the big leagues of fuckery. I’m afraid of closed doors and…hello, night terrors. Sometimes it’s hard to be grateful when you’re overwhelmed by fear, but I know for sure I need to turn my focus toward what’s good, and there really, truly is an astonishing abundance of good, isn’t there? I’m here, you’re here, Prog will be here too soon enough…we are blessed, and it’s true…together, there’s nothing we can’t do. I love you. So much. So, so much. My god, we’re having a baby. It still doesn’t seem real…”

He smiled. “I have a sneaking suspicion that after your appointment tomorrow it will seem very, VERY real. In just a few hours, we’re going to get to see Prog. It’s…it’s…”

My eyes squeezed shut. “You mean my appointment this morning. Yikers, it’s so late it’s early and we haven’t slept and between your jaw and my knuckles we’re going to look like we had a knock-down drag out fight, but yes, WE ARE GOING TO SEE PROG.”

He lifted me by my hips, his semi-soft cock slipping out of me, then shifted me sideways so he could pick me up as he rose off the couch. “Off to bed we go, my love.” He carried me into the bedroom and placed me gently on my preferred half of the mattress, then climbed in behind me. “I love you, Maude Hiddleston. Sleep now. I’ll be right here, watching over you. Over you both.”

And I slept. It was fitful, and there were dreams…bad ones…but each time I woke from one, he was there, one arm around my waist, one leg atop both my own…warm and alive, and in that I found peace. Whenever he stirred, and he did often, I’d press my body backward into him and pull his arm tighter around me, stroking it with my fingertips until he stilled again, hopefully having found a peace of his own. The dawn came and went, the alarm began its electronic bleating at 10 AM, and we staggered to the shower hand in hand…gripping loosely, as I was still hurting, though not as much as I thought I would be. By the time we’d finished washing each other, the excitement in the air around us was palpable. Though I was still anxious about the appointment with Dr. Bresden, this was it, the moment. I patted my belly as I was drying the underside of my boobs.

“Hi in there, Prog. Big day today. Mamma and Daddy get to see you. Feel free to wave and stuff, okay? We love you.” Tom gasped, and I turned to look at him. One hand was over his mouth, and his eyes shone with tears. I tilted my head. “What?”

“I don’t…have you…I don’t think I’ve heard you do that before.”

“I have…but maybe not out loud? I think…probably only in my head. Huh. I really don’t know…”

He knelt before me on the tile, first kissing then addressing my stomach. “Prog, you are indeed loved. We can’t wait to see you, and before you know it you’ll be our here in the world with us, and we can’t wait for that, either. To share our lives with you…you, Mamma and me…our little family.” As he stood he wiped away his tears with the back of his left hand, grinning at me. “So…Mamma, then?”

Shrugging, I shook my head back and forth several times. “What can I say? Looks like my New Orleans is showing. It just sounded…”

“Perfect. It sounds perfect, Mamma.” He said it with a drawl, and I sighed.

“Godammit, Tom. That’s not supposed to be sexy.”

His grin widened. “Why not? You’re sexy, so logically...”

“Shut up with your logic.”

“As you wish, my love. Breakfast here or on the road?”

“On the road. Make it a double.”

He embraced me. “We’re off to view a miracle. What a thing.”

“It is. It so is.”

[unintended-escape]

1//3 Hiya, I need a bit of help. So, I can tell VM have deeper edges than PC most of the time but I don't understand the "floaty" quality most PC allude to when talking about their skating skills. I mean I can see their floatiness when I superficially see their programs but when I really focus on their feet I can see the shallow/flat edges, glitchy edge changes and sloppy exits from lifts. So, it leaves me wondering where their floatiness comes from. Is it because P wears flowy dresses and

2/3 lets her Hair down. Or because flatter edges helps give their skate that flowy look? Or do they really have better skating skills than VM. Like most people say VM have better skating skills than PC but TSL once said that one of the BESP guys thought PC had better SS. I guess, I wanna know IF PC does have better SS then what exact techniques make them better? So, I know what to look for. Cuz from zoomed in, slowmo gifs so far I feel like VM have better SS (deeper edges, smoother edge changes

3/3 good knee bend (tho my concept of knee bend isn’t fully clear). Sorry for the essay; tl;dr why do PC have superficial floatyness? Is it just a look or are they technically better? If so, what are those ‘techniques" they are doing better? Please answer if you’re able, I really wanna learn more on this.

ok anon this is such a good q that i though about it for 2 weeks and still don’t have a good enough answer lol

floaty quality - i think it’s the overall feeling that is floaty, not the ss. and for the feeling the things you mention count - yes floaty dresses, hair down. they r young and “lightweight” - like if you look at vm’s Mahler, umbrellas or valse triste they r v floaty too. ofc the height difference helps pc cause he can throw gabi around and it looks “light” and floaty. but then if u look at their pre-2015 progs, none of that floaty quality is there - so packaging is v important - the right music and all the things you mentioned before. + speed - they really do get great speed now (which is a ss in itself but then i talked before about parallel movement in their progs). + choreography - v precise arm movements 

like how much more sophisticated is this

compared to this

wrists, fingers - these details create the airy quality now.

and the ‘changes in levels’ - reacting to every note in music (now this is when u know im not a native speaker cause i cant explain this in english lol - basically the knee bend but also the core movement - their high-to-low movement is v accentuated, especially gui’s). those ‘changes in levels’ r v precise tho, like inhale-exhale movement, and at the same time they allow their movements to breathe, pause in every position for a moment (watch zagitova for some contrast lol). 

inhale

exhale

and they (gui esp) use their whole body for that - shoulders, head, and knees. so with that up and down movement the whole program has a constant wavy flow. i think that what makes them have the ~airy quality.

re ss - lol no pc’s are not better than vm’s, it was probably mark hanretty stanning pc as per usual - it’s the equivalent of asking jonathan beyer to weigh in on the two teams’ skating skills lmao. they do have good ss tho contrary to popular opinion here. gabi has issues with extending her free leg and her knee bend is not as good as tessa’s but they’ve been getting their levels - yes gabi occasionally catches a flat edge but should i post a screenshot of t’s choctaw edge at the olys ie (i don’t want to tho so i won’t lol). the real strength of pc is gui ofc, he is a superb skater and has amazing balletic qualities, his extensions are always precise (scott’s are too but gui’s long limbs make it more noticeable) but mostly his control of his core paired with flexibility and his knee bend - he always uses his whole body.

(look how much more control over his neck he has than gabi - hers is tense while his looks more relaxed but that’s down to control)

(look how low he goes - his core is almost parallel to the ice - now that’s something i don’t recall even Scott doing when skating)

same here

and again, i love his attention to arms. 

but i digress.

to sum up, i haven’t really got an answer LOL. 

[thejustinmarshall]

From 10,000 light Years to Live From Birmingham John Lodge is Still a Moody Blue

Interview by Danny Coleman

“You can’t just sit down and say I’m going to write a song. You’ve got to be in a creative mood,” says John Lodge, legendary bassist of the Moody Blues as he discussed his latest solo release, “Live From Birmingham,” his current tour and two upcoming area shows; October 15 at The Sellersville Theater in Sellersville, PA and The City Winery in New York City on October 17.

Still riding a wave of success from 2015’s, “10,000 Light Years Ago,” Lodge has now released a live product encompassing his music and concert experiences bothauditory and visually. The album was recorded at a storied venue which holds very fond memories for him and one which had a profound impact on his career.

“I’m promoting a release, “Live From Birmingham” it is a live album recorded in Birmingham Town Hall in England which is a very special iconic venue for anybody in Birmingham,” he explained in reflective tones. “Growing up as teenagers to get a gig there was unbelievable because they used to do a thing called, “All-nighters” and on a Saturday night into Sunday, all of the bands from Birmingham used to try and get a booking there because you played all night. They also had all of the great British and American rockers there; Buddy Holly was my absolute hero. He showed me the way to write songs and everything else; he was just brilliant. I managed to see him, I had tickets in the front row of Birmingham Town Hall and I said to my agent that when I finished my tour, I wanted to record the concert, release it on 180 Gram and vinyl as a double album sleeve and I wanted to release it as a DVD. So it completed the circle for me because there’s a young Johnny Lodge looking down at Buddy Holly and hopefully there’s a new young musician perhaps looking at me and carrying the music on.”

The night this footage was shot turned out to be more than just a concert for Lodge as not only was he was deeply touched by the reception but also by the attendance of some old friends as well; members of his first band. “When I was learning to play guitar I met Ray Thomas,”  he started  with reverence in his voice.  “Ray had a good voice but he didn’t play any instruments but we formed a band anyway called, “El Riot and The Rebels” and we used to wear Mexican outfits; can you believe that? It was a great time, we were together for four years; Mike Pinder had joined us for a short period of time as well, so yeah it was a great time. When I did the Birmingham Town Hall concert the whole band turned up. The two guitarists turned up, the drummer would’ve been there but unfortunately he had passed away but his family came along. So the whole band was there and that was really, really cool and Ray Thomas was there even though he wasn’t well; special moments indeed.”

With the album already released, Lodge continues to hit the road and has also dropped a single which is available as a free download.

“We released the, “Get Me Out of Here” single from the live album because I really like it; it’s got a lot of energy on the track. We released it as a free download so people can actually download it, listen to it and see if they like what John Lodge is up to these days and we’ve had a really good strong response to it so I’m really pleased. Besides, it’s a free download so if you haven’t got the money because you’ve got other things going on in your life; just check it out.” 

Joining him on tour is a very talented supporting cast, one of which he has worked with before and others he’s come to know as the group worked months in advance to put it all together.

“Alan Hewitt who I’ve known for years, is with me; he used to write the songs for a band called Warrant and I’ve known him since the ’80’s. We’ve got Billy the drummer, a guitarist called Duffy out of Detroit and a cellist and slide guitar player who are also out of Detroit. I’ve got a very American band and we rehearsed through the summer and of course we did some rehearsing in Nashville before the tour started.” 

Today’s recording technology often causes conflict from bar room discussions of analog versus digital to the methods which artists use to capture their prized songs. Lodge feels that he has found a way to use technology yet keep things just old school style enough to meet his needs and tastes; keeping his music warm and inviting as opposed to some of the more,“Sterile” sounds of today.

“I found a way of recording that I really like, it takes the mundane out of recording. Recording itself is brilliant, I love it but the waiting time and the travel time and everything else just takes the energy out of it. My album, I realized that all of the people that I wanted to work with all owned their own studios. So I just put it together by files; I put the basic track down, sent it to my keyboard player Alan and he worked his magic by putting the basic keyboards on it and then I sent it to my drummer and he went into his studio when he was ready and put the drums on. So then we went backward and forward listening to the drums, checking it and changing it and then we eventually sent it to Chris Spedding my guitarist and I asked him when he wasn’t touring if he would put the tracks on in his studio, which he did and then all of the files came to me, I booked a studio for 24 hours and put all of the final bass parts, vocals and acoustic guitars on and sort of put it together through analog machines to get what I think was the right sound for the album.” 

How about the Moody Blues? Will there be any new recordings in the future with any of the remaining members? Lodge says that the band leaves that door ajar but that there is nothing in the works at the moment.

“I’m not too sure whether that will really happen because as you know the record industry has changed so much. You really need a mentor, you need a music man who really wants you to go make a record. We’ve always had great music men that we could play our music for. The original guy was Sir Edward Lewis who started the Decca Record Company throughout the world but in America there’s a wonderful man out of New York called Walt Maguire and for 25 years he was the person that we went to all the while; listen we’ve got this new song, listen to this. David Blonde, Bob Dylan’s manager, he was a great record man as well and so if you find a record man who comes and says I wish the Moody Blues would make another album, we’ll think about it I’m sure.” 

When one attends a John Lodge concert, there’s an expectation to hear some Moody Blues. Readily agreeing that he loves playing the Moody’s stuff, he also admits that he will feature some of the band’s deeper tracks and a few, “Special” offerings too.

“I’m going to be doing some Moody’s songs as well, songs that I have always wanted to play like, “Singer in a Rock ‘N’ Roll Band” and “Isn’t life Strange” but it also gives me the opportunity to do some Moody Blues songs that we don’t do on stage; things like,“Candle of Life” and songs from, “Blue Jays” like,”Saved By The Music” where I can get some audience participation. On this tour I’m going to do something special because we lost Ray this year and he and I have been friends and working together since I was 15. So I want to play a song as a tribute to Ray on this tour because we’ll never play it as the Moody Blues but I’m also going to play it because Ray was an integral part of my life. I’m also going to play a song of Mike’s because he was an integral part of my life as well; we were all Moody Blues together and I don’t want those songs not to be heard again live on stage so that’s why I’ll be doing those.”

Besides touring and recording, the future holds some fun for this bass master as he will be taking to the high seas but not on a Moody Blues Cruise this time.“I’m joining Yes on Cruise To the Edge and heading down to Cozumel in Mexico, so anybody who has not been on a cruise come along and join me and join Yes and all of the other prog rock bands, it’s a great time.”

To obtain tickets for either area show, or discover more about John Lodge; please go to www.johnlodge.com.

Danny Coleman (Danny Coleman is a veteran musician and writer from central New Jersey. He hosts a weekly radio program entitled “Rock On Radio” airing Sunday evenings at 10 p.m. EST on multiple internet radio outlets where he features indie/original bands and solo artists.)

The post From 10,000 light Years to Live From Birmingham John Lodge is Still a Moody Blue appeared first on Concert Blogger.

from Explore http://concertblogger.com/2018/10/from-10000-light-years-to-live-from-birmingham-john-lodge-is-still-a-moody-blue/ via http://www.rssmix.com/

[remembermemorablememories]

Monday, May 7, 2018

post #119

main points:

- brunch

- haircut

- wrap up CSDS final

- dinner at super 88

- study for prog lang

- fortnite

today i:

- woke up at 11am ish, lazed around in bed for a bit until 12pm ish. did some logistical stuff like figuring out graduation for my family and just chilling on youtube

- around 1pm, i went to west and had brunch. i watched john oliver’s new episode:

Rudy Giuliani: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

i ate a lot of food at the dining hall. pulled pork and some mashed potato+meat thing. and bolognese pasta. and something else i think

- around 1:40pm i took the T to east campus and got a haircut scheduled at 2:20pm. i was reading stuff from learnyouahaskellforgreatergood to start reviewing for prog lang final on wednesday. then my haircut started at like 2:30pm and ended at 3pm

i feel refreshed and clean after i left. i took the T back and got back around 3

i chilled for a bit, took a long shower and cleaned off the extra hair on my head, then wrapped up my CSDS final and submitted it. 

around 6pm i went and got dinner with brian at super 88. i got steamed vegetables for the first time since dimitri’s been getting it and i wanted to eat healthy. i was asking them not to include carrots and peas but they didn’t understand so then i switched to chinese to try to explain. but i also forgot the word for peas and carrots in chinese so i just sort of described them. a girl behind me in line helped me out a bit too. and then once my food came, i had like A LOT. even more than dimitri usually gets. i wonder if it’s cause i spoke chinese to them so they gave me a little extra...?? apparently calvin said that’s a thing 

it was a good meal, then i came back around 7pm and studied for prog lang for 2 and a half hours. i did some review about the latter half of the material and did some of the practice problems. i feel like this exam shouldn’t be too too bad. it was on intermediate code generation and some basic compiler design. tomorrow i’ll go over the pre-midterm stuff

at 9:30 i played fortnite with brian and tristan for like two games. then daniel and brian for a few games, then daniel brian and daniel’s friend, daniel for the rest of the night. we played until 1:30am and then called it quits. we won once which was pretty dope. i felt like i had a few good games in there, even if we lost. i got like 3-5 kills per game on average (sometimes lower cause my kills were stolen cough cough)

but yeah. now i’ve just been in bed reading up on internship to full time conversion stuff and chilling watching black panther behind the scenes videos on youtube. i’ve gotten an influx of recommendations from youtube for marvel related stuff cause i looked at some fan theories

that’s about it. it’s now 2:30am, time to sleep

good night

also dimitri went to the ER and got some anti-biotics/shots. he left around 11pm and came back around 2am. he’s been feeling really sick :/ i hope he gets better soon

[happymetalgirl]

July 2020

Machine Head - Civil Unrest

On this two-song EP, Robb Flynn once again leans into spur-of-the-moment inspiration in an effort to jolt Machine Head out of the creative fatigue that plagued the polarizing Catharsis, but unfortunately the approach that didn’t really work for “Volatile” doesn’t really work for “Stop the Bleeding” or “Bulletproof”, and it all adds up upon the revelation that these songs are constructed from scraps off the Catharsis kitchen floor. Robb’s finger is on the pulse of the tension underlying American politics and his heart is in the right place (which I commend him for his steadfastness to in the face of the apparently sizable chud subset of Machine Head’s fanbase), he just needs to take his delivery a little off the nose. Of the two songs, “Bulletproof” is definitely the stronger and more hard-hitting, while the goofy 2000′s metalcore melodicism of “Stop the Bleeding” meshes poorly with the grim subject matter Robb attaches to the track. In the grand scheme of Machine Head’s career, this EP (and the two non-album singles that preceded it last year) is disappointing filler that does nothing to lift the band out of the dry creative well they’ve found themselves in.

5/10

Khemmis - More Songs About Death, Vol. 1

A much more solid two-track EP, Khemmis’ More Songs About Death, Vol. 1 is comprised of a groovy cover of Misfits’ “Skulls” and an acoustic rendition of the folk song, “A Conversation with Death”, that the band had covered electrically for a split they did with Spirit Adrift. The band adapt well to the more original acoustic style of the latter song, as soulful as ever even with acoustic subtlety replacing their open-hearted doom metal. As for the Misfits cover, the band apply their signature harmonic doom guitar work to give it a signature seal while adhering to the core foundation of the song, and they show that the song does take to their brand of doom quite well. After Desolation and being signed to Nuclear Blast, Khemmis sure were excited to get working on their fourth LP. Now that of course sits on the list of many projects the pandemic has forcefully postponed, but these kinds of offerings and the band’s hinting that they might just come out of this with two albums’ worth of material is helping make the wait a little more bearable. Thank you as always, Khemmis.

more respect to Khemmis/10

Inter Arma - Garbers Days Revisited

Coming off the back of their magnum opus, Sulphur English, Inter Arma’s offering to hold the quarantined world over until the band’s next opus is a quick (by their standards) covers album of metal and hardcore classics, as well as some surprising classic and southern rock tunes. And the band manage the eight diverse songs with an impressive display of two-way adaptability. Turning “The Girl Who Lives on Heaven Hill” into a blackgaze blast-beat fest and “Scarecrow” and into a crushing blackened sludge-doom epic while layering their atmospheric black metal smoothly over the old-school rock grooves of Neil Young’s “Southern Man” Inter Arma show an aptitude for selecting cover songs that fit their style. It sure helps that they’re a versatile act too, bending their mammothian heaviness to suit the core appeal of covers of Cro-Mags’ “Hard Times”, Nine Inch Nails’ “March of the Pigs”, and Venom’s “In League with Satan” while shedding all that sludge to expose their southern rock roots on (slightly) more stripped back tunes like “Runnin’ Down a Dream” and Prince’s “Purple Rain” (a closer so fittingly beautiful it seems almost unfair), which find them embellishing soulfully and clearly enjoying themselves in the studio. A lineup of tracks like this would make be nervous for whatever band was trying to tackle them, but Inter Arma prove that can shapeshift back to their southern roots just as well as they can bulldoze as needed to do their own justice to these several tracks, making for one of the best cover albums I’ve heard for a while.

8/10

This Will Destroy You - Vespertine

Serving as a soundtrack project for a highly rated California This Will Destroy You seemingly took a long time with this project, having released the “Kitchen” single in 2017 under the same premise. The album is entirely ambient, and not quite as experimental with glitchy electro-ambiance as projects like Tunnel Blanket or Another Language were. Instead, Vespertine highlights the serene/somber atmospheric foundation of the band’s post-metal/rock sound that made the Young Mountain EP and their self-titled LP such transcendent experiences and exemplary advocates for post-rock upon their release. And it’s a great display of just how the band’s discernible ambient style can shine through even such a minimal approach. It is basic ambient music for sure, no additives, but it’s unmistakably This Will Destroy You to those who know them, and it hearkens back to some of their best work, so I see it as a welcome addition to the band’s catalog.

7/10

Static-X - Project Regeneration, Vol. 1

Rebooted in honor of Wayne Static after his untimely passing in 2017 the original line-up and Dope frontman Edsel Dope behind a mask resembling the late singer and the pseudonym Xer0, Static-X return after over a decade of radio silence since 2009′s Cult of Static to mesh the final recordings of Wayne Static for the band with contributions from Xer0 on the first of two volumes of new material under this premise of paying tribute. Despite the lengthy absence and the loss of the band’s central creative force, the album is a mostly smooth transition from Cult of Static with some callbacks to the electro industrial metal of earlier albums like Shadow Zone and Machine. While it captures the essence of Static-X across its 39-minute track list with a handful of hard-hitting industrial nu metal bangers, Project Regeneration - Vol. 1 is a bit of a dry recount of the band’s legacy, and I hope the band saved the better chunk of songs for the second installment.

6/10

An Autumn for Crippled Children - All Fell Silent, Everything Went Quiet

An Autumn for Crippled Children is an anonymous Dutch trio who are helping to keep the blackgaze movement going with their eighth full-length album here. The band released their seventh not long ago in 2018, but this year’s is my introduction to the band, which has been a pleasant one. All Fell Silent, Everything Went Quiet is a moderately sized offering of heartfelt blackgaze as you know it from the likes of Deafheaven and Ghost Bath channeled through more second-wave-like stylings of the Norwegian black metal scene; so it sounds kind of like if Mayhem made more open-hearted music rather than deflected edginess through Satan-worshipping (not to shit on Mayhem or anything). There is more to this album, however, than just diluted or lo-fi Deafheaven worship; through the haze of the band’s fuzzy blackgaze is some pretty dynamic songwriting and impressive. More than just soaking distorted guitars in reverb and juxtaposing blackmetal screams with post-rock ambiance, An Autumn for Crippled Children capture some of that emotional diversity that makes blackgaze at its best (...Sunbather) so divinely captivating. And the spacious beauty the band conjures out of the negative space in the static-y guitars and thin percussion on songs like “Water’s Edge”, “Paths”, and the title track is surprisingly enveloping, but the standout cut on the album I’d say is the very unashamedly Ghost-Bath-y “Silver” for its overt heartfelt delivery with every instrument and its integration of what even sounds like a piano. I doubt this would convert many black metal purists who idolize Burzum and Darkthrone. In fact I bet this album would upset them even more than New Bermuda, but for those without a stick up their ass, looking for some juicy blackgaze with a different set of ingredients than your Harakiri for the Sky or Wolves in the Throne Room, this is some good shit.

8/10

Bury Tomorrow - Cannibal

I gave this one a good several tries because 2018’s Black Flame grew on me significantly after my incredibly underwhelmed first couple of listens, but sadly Cannibal strikes melodic metalcore gold far less often than its predecessor and finds Bury Tomorrow knee deep in the unflattering tropes that the genre is trying to shake off. With a pretty one-note approach to melodicism that results in a largely homogeneously flat emotional tone across the album, it’s definitely a step down from the emboldened and invigorated Black Flame that negates any sense of the band’s ambition that that album might have given off. I can point out “Better Below” and the brief breakdown on “Gods & Machines” as mild highlights in the tracklist, but they only really stand out because the rest of the surrounding tracks are so dry. I’d like to say that things just didn’t click this time or that some experiments just didn’t pan out, but it’s quite clearly just the lack of imagination and ambition that sinks this project deep into the background of forgettable metalcore, and I know this band can do better.

4/10

Kansas - The Absence of Presence

They’re hardly even metal-adjacent but for their sizable contribution to the 70′s prog rock movement that such a huge proportion of metalheads are into, a new Kansas album I suppose counts as on-topic for this blog. The band returned after a decade and a half of absence with a stuttering restart without iconic vocalist Steve Walsh on 2016′s The Prelude Implicit, and it was clear that they needed to do more than yearn for glory days to get the gears back in motion, so with The Absence of Presence the band’s new blood has stepped up to the plate to inject some freshness into the band’s compositional process. The band still sticks to that core violin-spiced prog rock that characterized their iconic 70′s albums, but the structuring and soloing style (especially the keys) are a bit more modernized than the band’s past work, and by modern I mean what Dream Theater sounded like in the 2000′s. Make no mistake, though, it’s an improvement on The Prelude Implicit, and it highlights the band’s talents and natural grandiose tendencies far more than the radio rock singles they’re most widely known for, and the cinematic bridge of the opening title track is sturdy proof of this. It’s a testament to the influence they have had on modern prog through the genre’s biggest bands like Dream Theater, and perhaps a testament to the two-wayedness of that street as well as fun, bombastic tunes like “Throwing Mountains” sound like they would fit easily on something like A Dramatic Turn of Events or as a break from all the melancholy on a Steven Wilson project. The album does wear a little thin on ballads like “Memories Down the Line”, but it makes up for its duller moments with plenty of exuberant prog expressiveness on most of the songs (the closing track being probably the standout example), which should be a good time for most of the band’s fans who fondly remember albums like Masque and Monolith, and any newer prog fans who may not be aware of the band’s influence on today’s prog metal.

7/10

Haken - Virus

Speaking of respectable modern prog though, Haken’s aptly named album this year serves as quite the easy bar to clear for prog metal so far this decade. I regretfully missed out on their 2018 sister album, Vector, but I am partially mending that ill by covering Virus here. Like I said earlier, it’s a solid record that captures the smoothness and tempered heaviness of Soen and the attitude of early Opeth with the angularity of Tool, but even if it ends up being the year’s best prog metal album, I don’t think it will be too long before one of the genre’s juggernauts (or even exciting new faces) kamehamehas this one away. The album starts out pretty solid in its first few tracks, but remains pretty meager and restrained in its explosiveness until midway through the album, relying on rather short bursts of typical prog heaviness like the opening of “Prosthetic”, whose rumbly bassline is a delicious highlight amongst the Townsend-esque choir implementation. The ten-minute “Carousel” ups the band’s expressiveness after the deceptive soothe of the second track with a clash of goth-y ambiance and pounding metallic bombast. The five-part “Messiah Complex” suite finds the band at their most adventurous, straddling the winding mid-song compositional whirl of Dream Theater with the occasional eccentricity and djenty heaviness of producer Nolly’s former band Periphery, the band still sound themselves and confident in every move they make, like true prog masters, ending beautifully on the two-minute “Only Stars”. I think it might end up being the year’s best straight-up prog metal album, and the band have worked hard to earn that honor, but I would honestly be surprised if someone else or Haken themselves don’t outdo it within a year. That’s to take away from what an exciting 52 minutes of prog this is, because with such a moderate runtime for such a tight prog album, it’s definitely deserving of the respect of a top album in its field.

8/10

Skeleton - Skeleton

Even though I tend to end up liking them, I find myself skeptical of projects whose aesthetic feels forcedly retro or whose marketing is focused heavily on nostalgia, and the self-titled debut from the Austin-based trio, Skeleton, complete with its intentionally cheesy and amateurish cover art, definitely checked those boxes. I even got the sense from 20 Buck Spin (being that I’m on their mailing list and follow their accounts and all) that they were more excited than usual to be releasing the trio’s debut. And honestly, after a few listens through of not being all too aroused by the crusty proto-death metal at the core of the band’s sound, the traditional heavy metal focus on infectious guitar riffs helped the album grow on me a good bit. The stylistic versatility of the guitar playing really is the cornerstone of the album, from the Kill ‘Em All-style riffs on “Taste of Blood” and early Sepultura-esque galloping on “At War” to the blackened punk grit of “A Far Away Land” and the even more catchy classic metal riffs on “Turned to Stone” and the melancholic old-school doom atmosphere on “Ring of Fire”. The snarled black metal vocals are gnarly in that old-school sense, throaty and raspy but kind of cheesily thin too to fit with the aesthetic the band are going for, and it’s a pretty similar story with the drums: not flashy at all by today’s standards but just right to supplement the guitar work and complete the vibe. And of course with 11 tracks not even grazing the half hour mark, the songs are pretty trim and compositionally bare bones, falling into quick, crust punk formats foregoing the typical verse-chorus paradigm. Yes, Skeleton has grown on me, and I’m curious to see if they end up expanding this sound like Ghost did from Opus Eponymous to stay creatively fresh or if they plan to draw from the long-abandoned (or less frequented) wells of musical elements they did on this album for the foreseeable future.

7/10

Burzum - Thulêan Mysteries

I know that in a lot of circles (including some I consider myself a part of), saying something even vaguely positive about Burzum invites a wave of disapproval for supporting (or at the very least, excusing) the black metal world’s most notorious villain’s racism, but I can’t say with a straight that Varg Vikernes didn’t play a huge part in shaping Norwegian black metal as we know it or that I don’t like Filosofem or Hvis lyset tar oss. I don’t think that amounts to supporting the guy’s racist bullshit, and luckily Varg has made it pretty easy not to support his racist bullshit because Burzum has been shit for a long long time now; in fact I’d say Filosofem was the last worthwhile Burzum album, with his pathetically bad ambient records during and after his time in prison and the three stale black metal albums that welcomed him back from prison. After such a weak return to music from prison and Burzum’s discontinuation-turned-hiatus, it seemed overdue that Varg finally retire the Burzum project after the unimaginative ambiance of The Ways of Yore. I mean the project has thoroughly emulated the trope of the white guy who views everything he touches as way more genius than anyone else does, which is pretty rich for a guy so willing to dismiss the current black metal scene as derivative, and he’s seemed more invested in whatever it is he’s been doing on YouTube or his blog. Nevertheless, Varg remains an infamous figure in metal probably to a lot of dudes who think there’s some esoteric genius to decode in his lore, to an extent I find kinda disturbing. The weird reverence a lot of the metal community has for the neo-nazi murderer’s cult of personality (the vast majority of whose discography is masturbatory throwaway doodling) is astounding. So this guy’s back, with an hour and a half of, by his own account, ambient scraps of dungeon synth music that he built up over an extended period of time and basically figured he’d compile into an album (because, like I said, everything he touches must be gold in his eyes), and goddamn it sure sounds like exactly what he pitches it as. The first track, “The Sacred Well”, is actually pretty soothing and decent helping of ethereal ambient music, but it doesn’t take long for things to go downhill. The annoyingly repetitive acoustic motif of “ForeBears” and the absolutely amateurish improvised piano plinking of “A Thulêan Perspective” quickly shed light on just how lazily patched together this thing is, while the subsequent “Gathering of Herbs” literally cuts off awkwardly like the full track didn’t upload fully. A few tracks like “Jötunnheimr” and “The Road to Hel” offer some fleeting promise in their eeriness, but they disappear as quickly as most of the tracks here do, in a flash of confusion as clearly incomplete ideas piled into an album for no reason that even Varg can justify. The last third of the album contains some of the longer tracks, but the swapping of fragments of half-assed keyboard doodles for half-assed demos spread thinner than tissue paper is a trade-off akin to the upcoming general election and it’s too little and way too late. I have to highlight the laughably farty synthesizer horns on “Ruins of Dwarfmount”; I mean thank god it’s quick because it’s absolutely awful, but the chuckle I get out of how bad it is is probably the best experience I have from this whole album. Just about everything on here is some combination of irritatingly repetitive, blatantly incomplete, or grossly unprofessional, and the thing that gets me is that it’s not like ambient music or dungeon synth is any sort of rocket science. I’m not at all the kind of music genius Varg’s weird devotees see him to be, but given the same equipment, even I could undoubtedly make a better ambient album than this. Although I’m not nearly as well-versed in ambient music as I am in metal, I have heard enough of a chunk of it to say I know the good shit and the bad shit, but honestly, this album is a new low for me. I didn’t know an ambient album could suck this much. It’s like an extended Daudi Baldrs with a slightly better keyboard, but with no excuse this time for the cheapness of the sound and certainly not the length. Yeah, piece of shit.

2/10

Boris - NO

Tokyo’s prolific sonic shapeshifters have all but given up on giving up, and I suppose the title of this year’s record summarizes their brief questioning of if they stop making music. The band’s first intended farewell album, Dear, which found them (not really) bowing out to the sorrowful drone doom of their most iconic record (Pink), was followed them by last year’s LφVE & EVφL, which saw them revisiting various shades of their career as comfortably as ever. NO finds the power trio on another stylistic tour of sorts, this time through some of their heaviest and most grimy territory, starting from brooding sludge doom to spending most of the album on Slayer-esque thrash and hardcore punk ripe with gritty attitude. The production is thick and nasty as is usually best for Boris, but the writing on this record is just kind of absent-minded for such a stylistically varied project. While the more drony opener, “Genesis”, rides its runtime well on the raw heaviness that the band put the pure simplicity of their slow groove through, the farther the band step away from their wheelhouse, the more apparent sparseness becomes of the more underwritten songs like the meatheadedly punky “Kikinoue” and “Fundamental Error”. We get some crushing riffs like that on “Anti-Gone”, but also some clumsy wailing about like on the song “Lust” that calls into question the effort Boris put in at the drawing board. The sheer power is there, but it’s being used generally inefficiently on a sizeable portion of NO. Still, it’s pretty cool to hear Boris at this pace, and the pure energy they pour into this project is enough to get the job done.

7/10

Tuscoma - Discourse

Tuscoma’s follow-up to the wildly eccentric Arkhitecturenominus is gets off to a slow start with its rather generic churn of blowtorch-blackened post-metal through its first two tracks and is short on risks for the reputably ambitious duo, but Discourse does eventually kick in to dig deep to tap as much of the frightful potential of the band’s sound and showcases a decent example of what the New Zealanders are known for and of lies out in left-field of post-metal.

6/10

Executioner’s Mask - Despair Anthems

Making their debut as a collective for Profound Lore, the quintet of seasoned post-punk creatives embark on an eccentric voyage through darkwave on a ship of modern gothic rock, and the results are as fascinating as they sound on paper, recalling the cerebral ritualism of Children of God-era Swans as much as the energetically veiled despair of Type O Negative and AFI while dipping the rock elements into the industrial side of darkwave every now and then. And again, the product is an effortless immersiveness into the record’s moody journey, not through atmosphere-building, but through the infectiousness of the goth dance numbers take you on. It’s certainly more of a metal-adjacent album than a bonafide metal album, but the way the band captures the despair they set out to is as effective through more subtly seething means as DSBM’s best, and the band’s adventurousness with their sonic palette alone makes for an interesting listen, or several, as I will certainly be giving this project more than its fair share of my ears.

8/10

Ensiferum - Thalassic

Very similar to Amon Amarth’s longtime solidification of their sound, the Finnish talents seem able to simply exhale exhilaration through their both tried-and-true and continually honed black-reinforced power folk metal. And it’s clear the band are on autopilot at least to some degree on Thalassic here because the writing is pretty homogeneous and formulaic nearly all the way through; that being said, the sheer energy of the band’s performances into a sound experience allows them to wield so effortlessly more than carries them across the seas they sing of.

7/10 

Bedsore - Hypnagogic Hallucinations

Stepping out from the shadows of Italy to present the great big world of metal with their forty-minute debut-album, the four-piece on the 20 Buck Spin label make their grand atmospheric aspirations for their brand of death metal immediately known across seven tracks of hellish wails and haunted ambiance. Taking ominous clean guitar motif-writing and structuring influence from Neurosis to the point of uncannily resembling “Souls at Zero” on the second track, “The Gate, Closure (Sarcoptes Obitus)”, Bedsore still inject plenty of their own distorted flair into the cavernous death-metal-flavored howl they espouse on Hypnagogic Hallucinations. The band do bank rather heavily on the immersiveness of the atmosphere they try to conjure, leaving a blind spot in the album’s dynamic beyond the fluctuations between clean and distorted nightmare. Compositional shortcomings aside, this is a solid debut to set the Italians on a bright prospective future.

7/10

Spirit Possesion - Spirit Possesion

Blackened thrash metal is one of those smaller subgenres within metal that feels more like a niche occupied by a few stalwarts like Aura Noir, Goatwhore, and Deströyer 666, but now Spirit Possession is making the bid to join those ranks and potentially turn more spotlight onto the specifically hybridized style. The band’s self-titled debut brims with the thrash enthusiasm of Bathory and the old-school riffing that shaped the way the early progenitors of black metal composed theirs, and not only is the Portland duo’s riff-game on point, but goddamn does it sound savory and spicy as hell through the more flattering production and against the backdrop of modern black metal a la Watain. The nasty chug on the song “Swallowing Throne” really highlights the benefit of the thicker, tastier production. The exceptionally grand “Amongst Inverted Castles and Holy Laughter” is a fine example of the band straddling old and new with impressive flexibility, while the bulk of the album's indulgence into early black metal and thrash is impossible not to want to indulge with, like a really fun party with a good crowd that makes it so much easier to have a few more drinks than you originally intended to.

8/10

Defeated Sanity - The Sanguinary Impetus

Through just enough delicious riffing,  memorable accentuation, and technicality on par with Dying Fetus packed into structurally creative bite-sized portions, brutal death metal stalwarts Defeated Sanity somehow make a pretty persuasive take-it-or-leave-it case for the genre.

7/10

Paysage d’Hiver - Im Wald

The boldly two-hour debut double-album from Paysage d’Hiver is also a bit of a double-edged sword, basing partly its very ethereal black metal atmosphere on the homemade sound that regularly kneecaps the grander feel the project is going for. And the album does indeed reach some soaring heights of blizzard-stung ambiance, which the biting sound of the tinny, but engaged, percussion and the vexed swooning of the tremolo-picked guitar playing across the album’s several indeed well-organized lengthy tracks. It takes a lot to trudge through the long path covered in thick snow that this album sets out on, and the lo-fi production often doesn’t help the individual elements that make Im Wald enjoyable stand out, and it can be all too easy to get lost in the homogeneous whitewash of the hazy winter wind. It’s a rewarding journey to finally make it all the way through with unbroken attention, but blame for the easiness of that attention being lapsed can at least partially be placed on the shoulders of Paysage d’Hiver for its mastermind’s one-note approach to an otherwise well-arranged and well-composed album.

7/10

Gaerea - Limbo

Despite the members’ faceless appearances behind their fully-covering black cloth masks, Gaerea’s music does not hold back its sorrowful outpour through heavy atmospheric black metal that crashes through and drowns like torrential flood waves as much as it tears at the heartstrings through unabashed languishing. The massive weight of the band’s sound invokes the feeling of being in the presence of an incarnate deity weeping at the ills of mankind and the destruction they have forced this deity to bring about. Abstract descriptors of the album’s experience aside, the band aren’t really doing too much new for the atmospheric black metal they’re making, not breaking any rules or pushing any boundaries, but everything that makes the genre so attractive is turned up to eleven. I was ready to be as critical as ever, but I could immediately see not long into my first listen why Season of Mist were so excited to hype up the Portuguese outfit’s incredibly accomplished sophomore release. The guitar playing is simultaneously powerful and beautiful, much like that of the Ulcerate album from earlier this year (Stare into Death and Be Still) that I also loved, and the drumming is just as ceaselessly thunderous in support. The lamenting screamed vocals are possibly the least exaggerated facet of the album, but certainly not the the point of being unfitting, in fact they fit the chaotically despondent mood quite well, or a detriment to the record’s overall barrage of mourning. As for how all these massive pieces are arranged, they all crash in synchronized waves in a fashion, again, not at all unfamiliar to anyone who’s heard blackgaze, but the raw passion of the band’s performances exemplify why this strategy is so widely adopted for atmospheric black metal. Gaerea have made quite the statement of intent on this one, and I will definitely be enjoying it repeatedly throughout the year and beyond.

9/10

Upon a Burning Body - Built from War

Upon a Burning Body went full Lamb of God last year with their very trim and direct 31-minute fifth LP, Southern Hostility, focusing their efforts on making their southern brand of groovy deathcore as tastily whiskey-soaked as possible, laying on the groove heavily and unrestrained in a way that I thought definitely worked in their favor. Just a year later, the band are back with a 17-minute addendum to their infectiously brash display of muscular bravado, and it’s pretty much as brutishly intense as expected as the band bounce through single-string grooves and ripping drum rhythms to the same conclusions they did last year, only this time it feels so much more fatigued, like they’re trying to artificially replicate this genuinely pissed off attitude that produced results for them despite just not being in that kind of headspace at the moment. The songs are pretty baseline for them and generic as fuck, missing that X factor that made Southern Hostility’s distilled rage so tangible and fun. Built from War has some of the staple features that made its predecessor such a good time, but despite its few high-energy moments across the five tracks, it feels like an unnecessary rehash of the lightning in a whiskey bottle they had last year, just no lightning, so empty whisky bottles that bear the smell to remind you of what was previously in them.

5/10

The Acacia Strain - Slow Decay

I have been pretty harsh on The Acacia Strain in the past; they haven’t come up much on my blog, but the times they have, I feel I’ve been a little overly critical of their use of elements that I’ve perceived as excessive that they’ve used to forge their recognizable sound. The band released a mini album (It Comes in Waves) on Closed Casket Activities just before last year was over and I didn’t even hear it until a few months in to this year, and honestly, I wasn’t all too broken up about it because it was some of the band’s most lethargic, meandering material to date; dragging aimlessly until the last two tracks of the album, a significant step down from 2017′s already middle-of-the-road Gravebloom. So with those albums in recent memory I was kind of not looking forward to Slow Decay all too much, but a few days before its release, I refreshed myself on the band’s 2014 album, Coma Witch, which I remember as a culmination of what The Acacia Strain had been trying to morph their horrific, hardcore-tinged deathcore into since Continent, and it was a great time, that album, and it made me a little more hopeful for the band’s tenth LP (if you count It Comes in Waves). And Slow Decay indeed has The Acacia Strain back on track after the stuttering of the past two releases. The burgeoning metallic hardcore movement over the past few years has certainly vindicated The Acacia’s Strain’s steadfast adherance to their hardcore roots, and with there really being no time like the present for that kind of energy, the stars’ aligning has indeed brought the best out of The Acacia Strain. And on Slow Decay, it’s not like the band have changed up their hardcore-driven approach to djenty deathcore all too much from what they did on Coma Witch, they just sound energgized through a good batch of songs this time, the many situations at hand showing their influence on the rage the ban draws from bleeding through the lyrics ranging from critiquing anti-vaccine sentiments to blasting the snobbishly entitled attitude of boomers. The fiery disdain for the state of the world comes through hard on the blood-pumping chug of “Crippling Poison”, the punchy, pissed-off groove of “Inverted Person”, and the rest of the dissonant horror-tinged riffing all across the album, and it just goes to show that The Acacia Strain have found a groove that works for them and when they have the right fuel for their fire, they can incinerate anything in sight. 

8/10

Imperial Triumphant - Alphaville

After revolutionizing the method of jazzification of metal music on 2018’s Vile Luxury, I was ready for a satisfying continuation of jazzy death metal from Imperial Triumphant, but I was not prepared for the wildness of the band’s ambition with their sound and beyond and the incredible success of their sonic expansion on Alphaville. The band are still jazzy as fuck on their successor to Vile Luxury but they’re not advertising it as blatantly like a product-placed soda can this time around, partially because they can’t with so much else going on in the nightmarish mix of sounds. The combination of dissonant grand piano chords over palm-muted chugging and merciless blast-beats on “City Swine” is perhaps the most overt example of the trio’s love for the traditional sounds of the type of jazz often associated with the big apple, but the palpable jazz influence in the winding guitar lines and dizzying drumming all across Alphaville continues to set Imperial Triumphant apart even within their wing of metal’s avant-garde. Indeed, their sound reaches beyond mere genre hybridization; the band incorporates various avant-garde elements in an experimental, yet clearly well-engineered manner all over the album. From the haunting fuzzy dissonance and disorienting electronics of the title track and the odd inclusion of taiko drumming by Meshuggah’s Tomas Haake to the gloriously frightful choir climaxes on both “Atomic Age” and “Transmission to Mercury”, Alphaville is full of surprises, and a size-able step forward for a band already bounds ahead of the curve on their previous album.

9/10