#Horobi did not know how to control emotions or instinct

[firebirdsdaughter]

Okay I can’t not say something…

… I dunno what’s going on in Geats. I’m not watching it. Sounds like my man Michianga is getting some shit which sucks, when will Takahashi treat the purple guys right???

I say, not even sure I’m spelling his name right.

But I genuinely cannot believe people are still trying to come for Horobi on this.

So let’s clear some things up.

1) Horobi was absolutely set up. Probably wasn’t the Ark’s plan from the start exactly, but she knowingly made him dependent on her and psychologically abused and manipulated him for years. Disconnected from her, Horobi was unstable and trying to grapple w/ trying to think for himself. He was heavily traumatised and easily manipulated, making him the perfect patsy. All she had to do was poke Izu’s blind devotion to Aruto a bit and have her use her usual brand of insensitive, socially unaware ‘help.’ That situation was absolutely orchestrated.

2) Is two things. Izu could easily have dodged that shot and choose not to, and Horobi had no reason to think she had no backup (which was ridiculous to begin w/). He’d made it very clearly he considered backups to be a form of immortality for ai, and we have no clue how he would have reacted if she dodged bc she choose not to. Obviously Horobi ‘shouldn’t’ have resorted to violence to ‘end’ that interaction, but he was not in a mental place where he could make that distinction. It’s all he’s ever known, it’s predominately the only way anyone has ever treated him. He was panicked and she was harassing him. He was desperate to end the interaction in anyway possible, and he’d already tried walking away. But there is no way he ‘knew’ he was ‘killing’ her (and, well… He didn’t). He actually seems genuinely shaken that she just took the hit, being unable to respond to Jin’s question (which he always has before). He wasn’t planning on ‘killing’ her at all, he just needed her to stop. She also choose to go in there in the first place. That’s like… Not to compare any of these characters to dogs in that way, but that’s like a domesticated Pomeranian walking into a playpen w/ a recently ‘rescued’ wolf that’s been abused and used in fighting rings and trying to play and being shocked it got bitten.

3) There were so many people who could have done something. Jin, who’s been so ready to take hits for people he barely knows before, just stands there. There were plenty of humans around! Fuwa and Yua, who started this whole damn thing, were nowhere to be seen, and Fuwa had an opportunity to stop the fighting and fucked it up. Like I absolutely believe there’s a correlation between Fuwa shooting Horobi for asking him that question and Horobi shooting at Izu to get her to stop provoking him. Aruto himself is more busy trying to force the HumaGear outside to go back to how he thinks they should be then dealing w/ the actual root of the situation. If he actually cared as much as he claims, maybe he’d realise how much suffering Horobi is going through and actually try to address the situation, rather than leaving it to his secretary who is in no way capable of doing so?

Basically, the fact of the matter is that this was not Horobi killing Izu in cold blood, it was more equivalent to a wounded animal trying to defend itself. She choose to go in there, back him into a corner, and choose not to back off when she saw he was becoming agitated. She choose not to dodge. He fired back in an attempt to end the interaction, bc she was doing more harm than help. Ultimately, I’m not trying to pin this on her, either, although I have Issues w/ how she was portrayed. Izu was never going to be able to help Horobi there bc she just could not understand what he was going through. In her mind, devotion to Aruto makes everything right, Aruto is the absolute best thing ever. And that’t not her fault, that was how she was made, and he inadvertently groomed her into that. But let’s not get me started on Aruto. The fact of the matter is that this was literally everyone’s fault. Well, it’s Gai and the Ark’s fault (bc the Ark is Gai’s fault), but if Horobi and even Izu herself had done nothing different but someone else present actually used their common sense for five seconds, this would never have happened.

Literally, this is saying that a traumatised, abused child soldier lashing out bc they feel backed into a corner and scared out of their minds is deliberately aggressive. Horobi was protecting himself the only way he knew how, Izu was (unintentionally, like she meant well but meaning well does not equate to doing well) harassing and provoking him and randomly decided not to dodge for some inconceivable reason, and everyone else decided that clearly, the sheltered ai w/ limited world experience and knowledge was obviously the right person to deal w/ the traumatised, abused, unstable one.

Also Fuwa and Yua started it and Fuwa had a chance to stop the fighting and fucked it up. An in character fuck up, maybe, but a fuck up. Aruto was more bothered w/ getting his free labour back than helping the traumatised child soldier. Jin randomly decides to be useless.

Edit: bc I realise I forgot them, Naki and Ikazuchi aren’t even there, they just show up to talk shit later like what the fuck guys maybe actually make and effort before you start badmouthing your supposed family member who you know has been horribly abused and mind controlled all his life.

GAI AND THE ARK.

Aaaaand… I’m not talking about after bc I think I’ve ruffled enough feathers.

Basically, while the situation in Geats does sound much more straightforward, I will not stand for people depicting Horobi as some knowingly malicious killer when he was very clearly not in a space where he could or knew how to make those calls. The man had only just gotten disconnected from the Ark, he was just learning how to make decisions. He didn’t ‘choose’ to ‘kill’ Izu, he acted on an instinct to protect himself out of fear and then he himself did not understand his actions.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Random Writing Tidbit-ish Well…

… I said I was thinking about them.

@fluttering-by I dunno if you’re still thinking about this from like, last week (or was it the week before? my memory is a sieve sometimes), but it got stuck in my head.

You know how they killed the horizontal line and it was the worst thing ever? I suffer every day. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Fuwa slammed the door behind him, stomping across the floor to dump his bag onto the armchair, the primary piece of furniture he still felt like he could consider his after Jin had laid claim to the sofa (when he wasn’t off patrolling the rooftops, jumping in and out of windows as he pleased, much to the annoyance of Fuwa’s neighbours), with a little more force than necessary, making it jump slightly. A brief glance in the direction of the couch, in a small break from scowling at the floor, revealed that the younger HumaGear wasn’t there now, at least—the only one present was his father, looking up from a book. Fuwa didn’t remember having many books—at least, not any Horobi would be interested in—but the fact that the HumaGear was doing something besides brooding about the apartment blankly was… Reassuring. He wasn’t in a particular mood to be relieved about anything, but the discovery still generated a soft ball of warmth in his chest, interfering with his attempts to stay angry. But the day had just been so…

“What is it?” Horobi’s voice sounded completely calm, but Vulcan prided himself on being able to detect the mild curiosity in the tone.

Fuwa groaned. “It’s… Politics.” He spat, giving the chair a sharp push with his foot in displeasure that still came out rougher than he intended, making it skid a small way across the floor. “People… Are…” He looked back up at the HumaGear and hesitated.

Horobi was gazing at him with that innocent, simple interest that was so indescribably beautiful it always made him lose his train of thought for a moment. At the same time, though… It fuelled his temper—especially since he had been upset on the HumaGear’s behalf in the first place.

He was pretty sure he knew why Yotagaki had it out for Horobi so badly—the man had had a permanently displeased look on his face ever since Horobi had both fully restored his son and been repaired himself (Yaiba had been sour for days after the dressing down the HumaGear father had given her, even while heavily damaged, for everything she had done wrong in trying to restart Jin’s AI). He scowled every time Horobi came up, and made pointed comments, generally about how he was a ‘dangerous influence’—which even Fuwa, who Horobi had nearly killed, could easily see was bullshit. Even if the two hadn’t moved into his apartment uninvited, or the… Other developments… But, especially after all the time he’d spent with the HumaGear, all it took was watching him for a bit to know that Horobi was very different than before—completely free of the Ark’s influence and with even just a bit of proper support, he was eons away from the picture Yotagaki loved to paint. Without a doubt, what the bastard actually meant was that Horobi was a threat to his coveted control over Jin, who had refused to speak to the ZAIA executive since reviving. 

Now the man was demanding that there be regulations placed on Horobi’s movements, because the HumaGear had been ‘too quiet,’ because there were rumours of ‘good HumaGear’ looking up to him—even to the point of insisting he be tracked permanently, clearly with the intention of making Horobi as vulnerable as possible. It had been all Vulcan could do to not punch the guy—no, he hadn’t even managed that, it had been Yaiba who came to the rescue, grabbing his arm before he could swing and backing him up that distrust and aggression had been what made things go wrong the first time.

He looked back up at Horobi, still watching him with that soft, naive curiosity, and a myriad of emotions swirled in his chest. Horobi was definitely in a better place than he had been back then, but… He’d seen the HumaGear turn on himself before, and recently the episodes he still had were always in that vein; tipping him back over the edge could result in… There was a sharp pain in his chest before he could even finish the thought. He remembered clearly the scene he’d come upon that night, something that had unexpectedly burned into his memory—though the results had turned out to be… More than pleasant, in the end, the experience had been… Terrifying. To the point that he was still reluctant to leave Horobi alone in public spaces.

The HumaGear frowned slightly, head tilting, and Vulcan quickly looked away, embarrassed. Pushing the chair with his foot again, knocking it further out of place, he groaned loudly, stalking to the other end of the sofa, acutely aware of Horobi’s gaze following him. “Just…” He struggled to find the words as he began to pace in short, quick steps, raking a hand through his hair, the other stuffing into his pocket. How much could he say? Yotagaki was already a tense subject for the HumaGear, who would always immediately look around for Jin whenever the man was so much as mentioned, like he was terrified the human was coming to take his son again. Fuwa didn’t want to cause him undue distress, that was the whole point—but lying to Horobi was equally dangerous. He was already on his sixth pass in front of the sofa by the time he continued, “Just… Yotagaki… ZAIA, being… Augh!” With a growl, he furiously dragged both hands through his hair, mussing it up completely in his outburst, “Being… Stupid!” He aimed another kick at the chair as he turned and missed—with another snarl, he whirled back around to continue pacing.

On his eighth pass in front of the sofa, fingers closed around his wrist and there was a soft tug on his arm stopping him short, followed by another, stronger one. The next thing he knew, he was being pulled down into Horobi’s lap—he squirmed instinctively, resisting out of residual anger—but the HumaGear’s arm curled around his waist, the other hand drifting up to cup his face, and he turned his head to nuzzle into the palm on an even stronger instinct. Horobi pulled him closer, pressing a kiss to the corner of his jaw, the upper hand moving up to comb slowly through his hair, fingertips trailing over his scalp. It was impossible to stay tense like that, especially when Horobi continued brushing lips up and down the side of his neck in slow, lingering kisses. The HumaGear’s long fingers carefully worked their way through his curls, hitting all the sensitive spots on his head—it wasn’t long before Horobi reached the particularly tender place right behind his ear, drawing a soft moan from his lips, making Vulcan sag against him.

“You know I enjoy watching your emotions…” The HumaGear’s voice was warm murmur right next to his ear, a musical, mesmerising sound that made his eyes flutter closed, his hand drifting up to hang onto Horobi’s sleeve, “… But you’re going to break your furniture.” Vulcan grumbled discontentedly—only it came out a bit more like a whimper. Twisting around, he snuggled against the HumaGear’s chest, pulling his legs up on the sofa and tucking his head into the crook of Horobi’s neck while the HumaGear continued stroking his hair, finding out the same spot on his head again. “I know, I know…”

Fuwa pressed closer, letting his eyes close completely. There was still a slight tug in his chest in moments like this, when he remembered what Horobi had originally been built for, because of how comforting it was. There was a small part of him that felt like a child again, curled up safe in the HumaGear’s lap, arms wrapped around him, a hand smoothing his hair—but the stronger, more dominant feelings were very different. With a little shifting, he leaned forward, nuzzling past the Horobi’s collar to press his lips to the HumaGear’s throat, unable to resist a small smile at the soft gasp he heard above him in response, the sound and the way Horobi’s arms tightened around him spurring him to continue. Keeping one hand holding securely to the HumaGear’s sleeve, he let the other drift up to lay against Horobi’s face, fingers brushing across his cheek, felt the HumaGear tilt into his touch, sending a wave of warmth through him.

Slowly, his hand crawled up, fingers brushing Horobi’s hair—until the tips connected with the HumaGear’s new earpiece, and he felt Horobi stiffen. Fuwa’s eyes snapped open, lifting his head slightly, “Sorry,” He whispered quickly, hand stopping, “Did that hurt? Do you want me to-”

“N… No.” The word was shaky, but firm, and the HumaGear even tilted his head into the touch slightly, closing his eyes. “… Don’t stop.”

Fuwa swallowed, hesitating for a moment just to be sure, but Horobi still didn’t pull away. So, very slowly, he traced his fingers along the metal rim of the earpiece, feeling the HumaGear shudder in response—but it felt different than the first one. Encouraged, he continued, exploring further, fingers moving across the area that used to be open mechanics and cracked artificial skin. Horobi’s mimic breathing caught, speeding up, and he made a soft noise that sounded wonderfully like a moan, fingers weaving deeper into Vulcan’s hair, pressing again to the sensitive spot on his head, making him sigh deeply as well.

They stayed that way for a long time, or maybe not so long. It was impossible to think about time when he was tucked in the HumaGear’s lap, one of the most comfortable places in the world, those amazing fingers tangled in his hair, gently massaging his scalp while his hands did the same on Horobi’s head. At some point, however, the HumaGear felt relaxed enough, curling around him like they were moulding together, and he didn’t feel like he could wait any longer.

“… Yotagaki wants to track you.” As he’d feared, Horobi went still, fingers freezing in his hair, and he quickly reopened his eyes, trying to sit up more and failing completely because of the tangle they had become. “He’s not going to! He’s not… He’s not going to.” He gave the HumaGear’s arm a squeeze, trying to be reassuring. “Yaiba-”

“It’s…” Horobi’s voice was unexpectedly steady, cutting him off with a firmness that was both reassuring but also slightly concerning because it sounded a bit like he did when he zoned out, “It’s… Okay.”

Fuwa frowned, giving the HumaGear’s arm another, even tighter squeeze, “No, it’s not.” He muttered, the words edged with a growl, “He’s…” For a moment, he almost got lost in the anger again, and pulled closer to Horobi to fight it off, “He’s a bastard.”

The HumaGear was silent for a long time. “I…” With a little shifting, Horobi repositioned so that they could see each other’s faces again, his hand in Vulcan’s hair drifting back down to his cheek. The vulnerability in the HumaGear’s expression felt like a stitch in his chest, but the hand on his face set a finger to his lips before he could say anything, “I don’t want to talk about him.” The finger disappeared, but was quickly replaced by Horobi’s lips in a determined, intense kiss, the hand dropping down from his face to trail along his chest. In an effort to keep his balance, Fuwa hooked an arm around the HumaGear’s neck, relishing how good Horobi’s touch felt even through the fabric of his shirt—and then there were buttons being pulled open, the magnificent fingers slipping in to brush his skin.

Vulcan gasped loudly, breaking the kiss, glancing down at the hand half inside his shirt then back up at the HumaGear questioningly. “Horobi…?”

Horobi’s head tilted forward, pressing his forehead to Vulcan’s. “I don’t want to talk about him.” He repeated, even more firmly, “I… I want…” The HumaGear’s hand moved slightly, tracing a tiny pattern over what he could reach of Fuwa’s abdomen, “I want you right now.”

Vulcan stared at him for a moment, searching his gaze for any uncertainty, panic, or glassiness. Even if Horobi was being point blank about it… After that night, he always wanted to check. The HumaGear’s expression, however, was completely clear and quite calm, eyes fixed on Fuwa’s face. Vulcan took a deep breath—after all, he would have been lying if he claimed he wasn’t feeling the same way. “… My room?”

Horobi hesitated for a moment, looking away shyly, and Fuwa almost backtracked to try and give him an out, but—“… Our room?”

Vulcan couldn’t keep himself from grinning. “Yeah.” He pulled himself up to give the HumaGear another quick peck on the lips, “Our room.” Just saying the words made a large ball of warmth form in his chest, made everything feel different.

Horobi didn’t respond, instead moving his arms to wrap around Fuwa’s shoulders and tuck under his legs, then lifting him easily as he stood up from the sofa. Vulcan pulled closer to the HumaGear’s chest, leaning his head back against Horobi’s shoulder and nuzzling lightly against his neck as the HumaGear started down the short hallway toward the bedroom—their room—closing his eyes again. Anger was already a faint memory that it was easy to put aside, especially as Horobi was already depositing on the bed, making a soft, surprised sound when Fuwa didn’t let go, pulling him down on to the mattress, too. It was impossible to hold onto it when they were tangled together, trying to manoeuvre to undress each other while also getting distracted by the urge to kiss again. Besides, it felt a little like poetic justice to be putting Yotagaki’s bullshit on hold to focus on making love, making Horobi feel good, especially when the HumaGear was showing even more signs of recovering.

They could worry more about ZAIA later. Much later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have no idea what time of day this is happening… They probably have plenty of time before Jin gets home.

I think.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Over Analysis ‘The Gawas will be the Death of Me’ Stage 2: The Ark Fight(s)

… What do to when home sick from work (I’m okay, I think I know what it is).

Do the other half of your Zero-One over analysis. Slowly.

So. Skipping over some stuff, where Aruto becomes president of Hiden again, and we have MBJR just… Mooning around, including a shot of Horobi’s hand that makes me think the camera crew is reading my conversations… Anyway. Jin chills in the tunnel for a bit until he seems to resolve something and gets up, while Raiden hangs out in the usual part of the base, and Naki and Horobi go for walks. While I disagree w/ certain choices made in this sequence, it’s interesting that Horobi’s apparently aimless wandering leads him to… A daycare centre.

There he is, the prettiest gargoyle ever. I mean, I have Feelings about things in this part… But this isn’t about that! This is about how Horobi stands around and stares at the kids and the two HumaGear playing w/ them. My theory, which has yet to be at all disproven by anything, remains that Horobi originally got ‘Ark’d bc in the past, maybe partially bc of Soreo’s data, he grew to want to create his own child and tried to build Jin pre-Ark, maybe not even that he wanted to raise Jin instead, but just wanted to raise Jin alongside the other children, but as a child, not programming him to serve a purpose for humans. But the humans around him reacted badly to the concept, and immediately tried to put a stop to it, and the Ark promptly preyed on a father’s desperation to protect his son. Going by that interpretation… Horobi’s trance-like state just… Staring at the two HumaGear having fun w/ the kids is heartbreaking. Is he only looking at his past? Or is he seeing something he and Jin should have had, that was taken from them.

To continue ignoring my Feelings, we have Horobi promptly attempting to erase the source (?) of his uncertainty in the only way he knows how at this point. Interesting that he’d end up targeting some random kids, but couldn’t follow through attacking Jin. More deflection/projection? He can’t attack his own son, but maybe if he ‘proves’ he can overcome his instincts here, he thinks he’ll find peace? But Horobi’s never been good at following through w/ attacking children, not even when they attack him first. Especially not when there’s a father on hand.

But before Horobi can even pull back the… Arrow? He’s getting hit w/ flashbacks. Jin looking dejected. Himself lowering his weapon rather than follow through w/ what the Ark would want. All while Aruto’s challenge about wanting to protect Jin rings in his head.

… And he can’t do it.

Also please note he lowers the bow before Jin shows up. I saw something that said ‘Horobi almost kills some kids before Jin stops him.’ And… No. Horobi stops himself. He may have trouble comprehending why, but he does. He finds himself thinking about his own son, and can’t follow through w/ it. He never even gets so far as pulling back the arrow (?).

Then Jin shows up.

Jin’s wobbly as he approaches and holds onto the… Thing. Like he’s still injured and limping. Instead of seeking out Raiden or Naki, who seemed much more open to the idea of leaving the Ark, he specifically goes after Horobi. And says something that makes me kind of wonder if Jin is actually falling into something parallel/perpendicular to what I think Horobi is doing next ep. Now that he seems to be shaken out of whatever had him thinking that That was a good plan, or necessary (I do have to admit, I like the concept of Jin, whether by manipulation or otherwise, having come to the conclusion that there was no way to save Horobi and that at best his father would always end up dying, and that the only thing he could do was try and save him from a more drawn out, painful death or some worse fate, but they would have needed to imply that earlier for it to really land), he kinda feels like he’s… Chasing what was taken from them? Like, I mentioned my theory earlier, and I haven’t thought much about the implications of if Jin knows or doesn’t know, but him trying to use that incident to prompt something in Horobi kinda feels like, along w/ his pleading looks before and the fact that he came after Horobi… Like he wants to try and reclaim the chance/right to be a family that got stolen from them. Like he wants to try again. Meanwhile, the impression I get from Horobi’s behaviour, as I see it, next week, is that Horobi has just accepted that they can never really recover that, and has decided the only thing he can do is make sure the future is better for Jin and other HumaGear, no matter the cost. I feel like that’d be a lovely, tragic angle to the whole thing.

Anyway.

… Horobi is, once again, bewildered by the concept of wanting something for himself? This is why I feel like, even if his motivations next week are what I hope, we may not hear it from him unless it’s a dying or emergency confession. Horobi has been conditioned for years, since he was created, to never think or want for himself, and my theory is that the first time he tried, he suffered for it. He’s been under the Ark’s control for so long that it’s… Easier. Less painful to just let the Ark be in charge. And gods know we see very clearly that the Ark will get aggressive when he doesn’t.

Horobi’s second emotional outburst, and it’s… Again about rejecting the concept of freedom and choosing for himself. On the one had, he can’t imagine doing that, on the other… He’s quite possibly traumatised by the concept.

No, wait, Ark, let him finish, I want to know what he thought he was doing. Additionally, this is the second time the Ark has apparently reacted to Horobi having an emotional reaction.

We get this little… Uncertain sort of lip bite before he turns to face the Ark. The Ark’s influence trying to squash the doubt/emotions that Jin prompts in him?

Oh, honey.

… Oh, typo.

Jin’s reacting to multiple things here, the Ark jumping in, and the fact that she’s announced she’s going to destroy HumaGear. I appreciate that we don’t get any ‘smug about being right’ or anything, and that he also seems to be upset about the fact that he was getting somewhere again, only for the Ark to jump back in. There’s also the fact that the Ark is using Horobi to say this, and Jin has shown he’s aware (in this ep, at least) that Horobi actually is doing this for HumaGear. To Horobi, this was always about HumaGear. Hearing those words out of his father’s mouth must be… Really jarring.

Anyway, the Ark promptly starts attacking.

Jin stays on the defensive the entire time during this fight, seems to just be trying to restrain Horobi, and doesn’t try to henshin once. This is Toku, the franchise that essentially invented the ‘transforming is a free action’ trope (okay, maybe that was technically magical girl anime), so if he really wanted to, he could. The Ark makes no move to transform, either—but that makes sense, we’ve seen her fight just fine untransformed, the whole magic grey goo thing. But if the ark remains untransformed and Jin transforms… Is he afraid he’d end up actually hurting Horobi? This is one of the things that convinces me that Jin really does understand what he did wrong and that he fucked up, and now he’s trying to make up for it/regrets it. He knows this is partially his fault, and it’s coming right on the heels of Horobi making something like progress bc Jin actually bothered trying. That’s gotta be another sucker punch, understanding that if he actually had bothered rather than… I don’t know, trying to take the easy way out? Then again… Looking at how his own death played out… Maybe he was taught by experience.

Anyway.

… I’m saying that a great deal in this one, aren’t I?

Anyway, the ark predictably gets the upper hand, sends Jin flying only to 

So. Let’s talk about Jin’s hands again.

Namely… I don’t think that’s how you get a foot off your chest.

In the previous stage/section, I was talking about Jin’s hand twitching upward when Horobi lowered the bow, and here… I guess, in theory, he could be trying to… Pry it off or something, but his hands aren’t going through the motions of that, they’re not really tense or straining to pull the foot upward. He’s just… Hanging on.

The Ark holds that position for an unnecessarily long time, just, staring down at Jin, like she’s trying to force him to face how much control she has over Horobi, and maybe take the time to enforce to Horobi that he’s merely her pawn.

… I’m absolutely sure that is not how you get a foot off your chest.

It’s hard to show w/ still images, but Jin’s motions do not seem like he’s trying to escape his situation. His hands aren’t gripping or pulling, they aren’t tense. He’s not squirming or yelling or anything. His behaviour feels less like ‘get off me, Ark!’ and more like… Well, more like he’s trying to reach out/hold onto Horobi, like he’s given up on ‘fighting’ and is just desperately hoping contact will do it. More like ‘it’s me, Horobi, look, please, it’s me.’ Like when a character is knocked unconscious and someone who cares about them rushes to their side and is grabbing and touching their shoulder, maybe their face, like ‘look at me, please look at me.’

At last, the Ark raises the katana w/ similar pointed slowness—it really, really feels like she’s trying to drag this out as much as possible.

There’s so much to this reaction. For one thing, I mean there’s a sword bearing down on him, so obviously he’d be frightened. But it’s also not just a sword, it’s his father holding it, his father who is possessed by a homicidal satellite that sees him as nothing more than a puppet, and he’s possessed bc Jin raised the bloody thing and planned to sacrifice him to kill it (would that even have worked, though? Or would the Ark have just jumped to another host?). What’s more, earlier, Horobi stopped and couldn’t follow through when Jin asked if killing him was what Horobi wanted, and we already know he remembers Horobi rushing to protect him. He’s at least reasonably sure about the fact that Horobi himself doesn’t want to hurt him, and at least some idea that he’s able to get through to Horobi is he tries (I don’t know if he actually knows he’s Horobi’s singularity Point… my gut says no). There’s not only the fear of death, but probably the sense that if this happens, it will be the final nail on the coffin of any chance Horobi had of breaking free of the Ark. It’ll be the end for both of them, honestly.

Despite Aruto yelling, the Ark brings the sword down, and, understandably, Jin looks away…

… Only to, very noticeably, you know, not die. So he looks back up and…

This look is already… So much emotion. But don’t y’all just wanna hear me talk about hands again? Right? Right?

Well, too bad. Bc Jin’s reaction kills me every time. Literally. I keep going back just to watch this moment. Bc when he looks back up and takes in what happened, w/out looking, w/out saying anything, completely instinctively…

… He reaches for Horobi.

This seems like… A whole combination of things. A kid reaching for his father for comfort, but also at the same time… Like he’s trying to comfort Horobi, reach out to him. Bc he knows this has to be Horobi. The Ark wants to kill him double, has announced she’s going to destroy HumaGear. She wouldn’t stop. But Horobi would. Horobi’s instinct was to protect him before, he couldn’t kill him even when he had the chance, couldn’t kill the kids. Someone else pointed out that, normally, given the chance, someone would be frantically getting away from someone who tired to stab them, but Jin’s reaction is to reach for his father, despite the whole ‘possessed and holding a sword over his head’ thing. Again, not ‘get off me’ but more like ‘it’s you, it’s okay, I’m here, it’s going to be okay, you can do it.’

The camera pulls back to show a scene that is very clearly from a different take (but, I mean, why would you not use the one where Jin reaches out like that?), then closes in on Horobi again. The Ark is clearly struggling—I like the way it sounds like she’s putting all her effort into trying to push the sword down, but Horobi refuses to budge.

Then the flashbacks start. Bits of Horobi’s memory while his own voice echoes behind them.

The first one is obvious—the first time he moved completely w/out the Ark’s command, possibly the first action that was totally of his own volition in over a decade. Which was, notably, and action that is the complete opposite of what the Ark is now trying to force him to do.

The Ark reacts like she’s getting a headache, clearly baffled by Horobi having any resistance to her will.

Then we get interesting.

ForceRisering Jin. Notably, Horobi’s initial flashback was to the time he reacted on his own, as if he’s finally realising what he truly wants, to protect Jin… But then he flashes back to this moment, which was… The time he did the opposite, according to the will of the Ark. We know, via Project Thouser, that Horobi was extra manipulated into this by Gai via Naki suggesting it would benefit ‘their’ (read: the Ark’s, none of this was ever Horobi or Naki’s plan, though it was half Gai’s) plans. So he goes from a moment where he acted like the father he wants to be (that was a signal of him nearing singularity, that wanting to be Jin’s father is his dream) to a time when the Ark’s influence caused him to be the opposite. For me, this is really fuel for my theory about Horobi’s behaviour next ep—that he believes that he and Jin can never get back what was taken from them by the Ark and therefore humans, and that the only thing he can do is try to make a safer, better future for his son, no matter the cost, even if he dies in the attempt. This also makes my other theory all the more heartbreaking, that Horobi originally got into this to protect Jin, and then the Ark’s control warped and twisted him, and now he’s starting to remember himself and seeing that and ends up convincing himself he can’t go back.

But. Anyway (again).

The next one is from the hospital arc. This was the incident where we first heard Horobi’s ‘we are not the slaves of humanity’ sentiment, and also the first time he and Jin henshined together. He’s thinking back to the times when his son was w/ him, when he believed they were fighting for freedom for their kind. I’m not entirely sure about any implications regarding this scene following the other one, other than chronology. Is Horobi regretting having involved Jin in the fighting? Is he veering between things that he regrets and things he doesn’t? Guilt and remorse for hurting his son, but also the fact that he enjoyed being w/ Jin and fighting together w/ him? Given that he doesn’t seem to be involving Jin in his actions next ep, perhaps, while he cherishes this memory for certain aspects, he may also conclude that he needs to keep Jin out of things for his safety. Perhaps he sees involving Jin in the fight as a failure on his part, too.

Next is the moment when he confronted Aruto for Ikazuchi’s data… Which lead to him kidnapping Midori, encountering the father and son, and the exchange on the bridge, and his first choice in over a decade. I’m not as sure about what I think this one might be about, but like I said, it did lead to the conversation w/ Midori, and more questions about what he really wants, brought up his relationship w/ Jin  (and then belittled it). Is he thinking about everything that lead to this? Thinking about wanting to reunite his family? About what was sacrificed to raise the Ark? Or does this have to do w/ Jin’s admittedly plan?

The last memory is of the moment when Jin was making graves for Ansatsu-chan and Ikazuchi. On the one hand, we have HumaGear who died for the Ark’s plan, and Horobi was directed to not care, but Jin was also highly effected by those deaths, and Horobi snapped at him for grieving for them. Additionally, Jin expressed a desire to get revenge on the humans responsible for their deaths. Horobi may also be carrying something like resentment and a desire for revenge on the humans who were ultimately responsible for everything he and Jin went through, everything the Ark caused him to put Jin through. And they’ve been through a lot.

But first…

MY MAN.

I feel like it’s significant that Horobi starts this question facing away (but this post is already so picture heavy), kinda hunched and looking down—the way the scene cuts makes it comes across as Horobi just being ‘transported’ into the Ark’s space like how Aruto and Izu do into Zea’s, while the Ark stands a distance behind him, back turned. It really does give the impression of Horobi being forced to watch while the Ark just casually uses his body w/out even really ‘looking.’ Horobi is the one the situation is in front of, while the Ark is indifferently facing away. Horobi turns toward the Ark to ask why, probably his first question in twelve years. And it’s bc of Jin. Not only is the Ark trying to force him to destroy HumaGear, she wants him to start w/ the one person who means the most to him. The one person Horobi himself doesn’t want to hurt.

The Ark… Doesn’t take it well.

Horobi gets swarmed by the floating words, and it sounds painful, enough that he’s brought to his knees. One question, just asking why, in twelve years, and he gets this. And he’s just asking why. The Ark doesn’t even bother faking a reason, just responds by torturing him, trying to force him back into compliance. W/ a method that has perhaps worked before.

Except this time, Jin’s life is actually on the line.

I love the way he brings his hand up to his face. I don’t know why, I just do. Anyway, Horobi fights through the pain, his hand curling into a fist.

… And…

THAT’S MY MAN.

Hey, that setup looks familiar, I think we’re just missing a sunset (come at me w/ comparing Horobi to Gai now, you… Jerk faces!).

You know what, I think I’m gonna break this into parts to prevent anymore mishaps.

Please hold.

[firebirdsdaughter]

…

… Okay. Okay. No. I did that to myself. It wasn’t clearly labelled tag-wise, but the content I could see made it very clear what it was.

I did that to myself.

But the emotions are still here. Fuck.

Okay, note to self: if you see a post that, even if it’s not tagged w/ negativity, seems pretty clearly like it’s going to be negative about your favourite character… DON’T CLICK READ MORE.

WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU EXPECT.

I just.

Horobi’s not a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ dad, he’s a ‘mind controlled by a homicidal satellite’ dad. A third category!

While I do subscribe to the belief that prior to Amatsu telling Naki to set off ‘Operation MaGear,’ Horobi was actually okay as far as actually raising Jin went, neither word applies. Like, other than hostility to humans and maybe being a bit of a workaholic… Og og Jin came across as a pretty well-rounded kid. Of course, they couldn’t stay in their bubble forever, and when the Ark’s goals come into play and shit gets kicked off and outside forces start coming in, the balance is disrupted, and Horobi, still completely under the Ark’s influence resets Jin.

Yeah, we all gonna need therapy when we remember that one.

But the fact is, it’s become pretty clear that the philosophy Horobi was spouting wasn’t really coming from ‘him him’ but from the Ark’s views, which in turn seem to have come from Amatsu. This isn’t ‘Horobi is an awful person who thinks these things’ this is ‘he was literally conditioned/manipulated/hacked to ‘think’ these things.’

Of course Horobi wouldn’t raise Jin to think for himself, he couldn’t. He couldn’t think for himself. In fact, in my opinion, while I think they deserve to care about each other, my hope is that they both grow on becoming more independent from each other. I want them to still be family, and like I said, Horobi is my fave, but they’ve def got issues they need to work through that will likely take some time. The Ark suppressed Horobi’s softer side as a father and tried to use him to mould Jin into a tool for its own use, yes, but, esp as far as she was concerned, Jin was also Horobi’s primary purpose. W/ her original plan, Horobi’s purpose was to raise Jin on her doctrine and then die, getting two birds w/ one stone of keeping him from ever actually developing out of the role she’d set for him by remembering how to care, and also giving Jin a grudge against humans. Jin was Horobi’s purpose for the Ark, and then the reason Jin is his singularity point is that Jin (who I still don’t think was connected to the Ark until ep 6) was also his only variable, esp prior to ep 6 and post return. Bc Horobi loves Jin, but doesn’t understand that bc of the Ark’s power over him, but Jin makes him change and behave and react w/out the Ark’s will. his love for Jin was developing further than the Ark could easily crack down on, and he gets more volatile, so the first chance it gets, it jumps into possessing him to prevent any further issues.

Horobi is not ‘actually’ a ‘bad’ person, he’s literally under mind control. And, esp at this point, Jin knows that. Addressing Jin trying to reconcile it might be interesting, but that would require us to focus on Horobi a bit.

There’s no point to this bc I already blocked the person, bc clearly they would not want to see my posts on this subject anymore than I’d want to see theirs, but the feelings it gave me are still very real and I need to vent before I can sleep.

And literally I realised my grave error seconds after clicking, so I only have two points bc I skipped as best I could, but…

Saying Horobi ‘consulted’ the Ark when he saw Jin in danger? Uh… Where the fuck did you read that? Like, okay, okay. So I do have to concede it doesn’t specifically say that the Ark stepped in, but I really don’t see how anyone got the impression Horobi started that connection. And even if he did… Again, he literally had no clue what free will was, he’s an AI designed to not think for himself and to obey orders????

Second… Blaming him for not dying??? He did die! Humans repaired him! WTF???

I would absolutely never say that all the things Horobi did or said while under the Ark’s control are okay, but this isn’t Banno, this is Souichi. Where Souichi is an AI that was designed to be completely subservient and never think for himself in the first place, under the malicious control of giant satellite designed to control other AI that really, really, really hates everything.

Horobi is not a ‘bad’ dad. We don’t know what kind of father Horobi on his own would have been. Horobi is an AI whose instincts and duty as a parent were manipulated and twisted by an outside, malicious force in a particular place of power where it could completely fuck up his mind for twelve years, and clearly saw him as a puppet. Again, not Banno or Masamune. Souichi. A father who had his identity usurped and weaponised, twisted so that an outside, more powerful entity could manipulate his child. Horobi was the Ark’s tool, Jin was the pawn that she was using him to try and manipulate. The situation they were in wasn’t healthy for either of them.

They both need space. Horobi needs to be disconnected from the Ark and probably needs therapy w/ learning how to work through the conditioning he was put through, bc it’s not going to be simple or easy. He’s going to need to be watched, and probably, honestly, mostly kept to himself w/ controlled visits, or something.

Fuck, all of MBJR is gonna need group therapy. Family therapy. But Horobi esp is going to need, like, serious mental and emotional support. And I do honestly think it would be good for Jin to maybe only interact w/ him under controlled circumstances (esp after how he’s been acting now). Bc I do, honestly, think they both need space and independence, again, from each other. Horobi’s life was always the Ark and Jin, if we remove the Ark from the equation, what’s the chance he’ll end up just switching all that over to Jin, and w/ the way the Ark messed up how he processes and handles situations… That’d be dangerous. And after everything that happened, yeah, Jin needs space from Horobi. Like, he knows that Horobi was being mind controlled, but there’s got to be some painful associations remaining. I mean, one of the reasons I would have loved to see Souichi wake up in Build was to see how they would deal w/ that.

But this rant is already very long.

So I’m gonna leave it here.

Horobi is neither a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ dad. He’s a ‘mind controlled’ dad.

[firebirdsdaughter]

What’s hilarious [read: ridiculous] to me…

… Is that Horobi and Yua actually follow a fairly parallel path in their responses to their situations (I had a whole realisation about how Horobi-Fuwa-Naki-Yua are a four way parallel today; Horobi-Fuwa are parallels and Naki-Yua are parallels, but then their actions crisscross parallel). But there’s a massive double standard in how the two characters are reacted to… Despite the fact that Yua is a fully mentally matured and developed human adult and Horobi is an AI that has been hacked and brainwashed for the past decade in a way that forcibly stunted his development.

Yua was in a horrid and toxic work environment w/ an abusive boss. Now, admittedly, Gai kept a large amount of his worse deeds from her and to a point one could justify it as her thinking she’s acting for the greater good… Until we get to the part where it becomes abundantly clear she knows very well that what they’re doing is at the least morally questionable… But doesn’t try to defect at all, even to the point of insisting it’s of her own free will. Yes, she had a chip in her head, too, but given her reactions to him torturing Fuwa, she doesn’t seem to have known he could do that, and she didn’t know about Naki, nor did she have an AI drone in her mind. Now this is not to blame Yua—in fact, the point is that she was a victim in a bad situation. Her struggle to get out of there was fairly realistic given her situation. But she had the experience to know that what they were doing was wrong. That makes it tragic in it’s own way, yes, that she was under extreme stress and very conflicted, but she was aware of that. She was a fully developed adult. She deliberately pursued Izu w/ the intention of destroying her, and would have had Gai not said the wrong thing and set Fuwa off. And Izu was frightened and trying to run away. She resists Fuwa’s repeated attempts to snap her out of it.

Rightly so, people noted Yua’s situation, were upset for her and felt bad for her. When there were jackasses saying she should die, people called it out as bad. People were cheering for her to get away from Gai. People were happy when she did. And this includes me. I blocked people I saw shitting on Yua and saying she should die bc what the fuck, guys, she was in a seriously messed up situation.

Once free of Gai, Yua is uncertain what to do and decides to try and ‘make up’ for something she feels responsible for in a rather questionable way. She ends up helping the Ark rise and wreak havoc. Still people recognise that she couldn’t have known that would happen. Poor Yua’s been through a lot.

Meanwhile, Horobi is hacked and brainwashed by the Ark twelve years ago. She uses him to cause Daybreak. He is an AI being controlled by a larger AI designed to control HumaGear like him. Unlike and adult human being pressured and manipulated, he is literally incapable of thinking outside the Ark’s will. The Ark has complete control. Even if he did have any experience to compare w/ before, the Ark erases it. He has no frame of reference besides the Ark, no development of any kind to evaluate his situation w/. Even when Jin becomes important to him, everything is through the lens of the Ark, the Ark is more than a god to him. The brainwashing is so deep that even when disconnected for a bit, he can’t be anything besides blindly devoted. Talks about how the Ark is absolute. When confronted w/ something that causes uncertainty, he goes into a full on mental breakdown—literally, should have been a first clue that emotions were never going to come easy for him.

Eventually, he does end up w/ enough experience to just start to begin to break free. Manages to act completely on his own for the first time in his life—not an instinct that the Ark swooped in to take advantage of, he gets to go through w/ it on his own. And he’s floored. He literally cannot fathom why his body moved on its own, as far as he can tell. Can’t understand the fact that he wanted to do something. This is recognised as a big deal (one of the only times anyone tries to actually talk him out of things, in fact, unlike Yua, where there was a lot of effort). Horobi begins to wonder about things outside the Ark’s will, about himself, which he’s never considered before… Only to have it turn out his son was plotting to have the Ark possess him and then kill him to kill her. This completely upends any development he had. He’s re-hacked and rendered as largely a drone when not being possessed.

Finally, someone decides to put effort into him (kinda…) again. And, in a situation that heavily parallels Yua, he ends up finding it in him to break free of the Ark. Only… Again, a lot like Yua, it’s not a clean break. He’s still stuck w/ the past, the conditioning, and the effects of what happened. Additionally, as later becomes clear, his struggling w/ feeling emotions, which he has been carefully conditioned to reject and have no experience w/, for the first time. He’s mentally unstable and volatile. Now, in the show, what happens is the result of Azu/the Ark’s manipulations and people making poor decisions (and I do think you can make an argument for the fact that the Ark was intentionally keeping Horobi from feeling/having any experience w/ emotions to make him even more of a wreck later on), and poking a very volatile bear (well, a highly traumatised child soldier AI who has no fucking clue what emotions are to the point it feels like an outside being controlling him somehow), he lashes out, and Izu calmly stands there and deliberately takes a hit she very clearly sees coming. General chaos ensues. From Horobi’s perspective, the thing he’s been trained to think will get rid of the uncertainty and emotions etc. not only doesn’t work, but it makes him feel worse, and bc he has no other way he knows how to respond, he becomes more aggressive in rejecting those feelings. And then Jin dies, and he completely breaks down.

The reaction he gets? People calling him evil and horrible and saying he should die. That e’s choosing to do these things. People who talk about how Yua can’t really be held accountable, how she was coerced, look at a literal brainwash victim and say he choose to do those things.

Now, obviously, there are differences, which resulted in the different out comes—obviously the whole, one is a fully developed human adult and the other one is an AI. One was externally conditioned, the other, again, literally brainwashed. One had someone fighting to convince them to break free of their situation on a regular basis, repeatedly, constantly, the other didn’t. Yua was always going to have an easier break than Horobi, bc she had more mental and emotional maturity, but bc of that, esp in regards to actions done whilst under the ‘control’ of others, she has more responsibility for her actions bc she was capable of identifying them as wrong.

Now, of course, both situations are bad for the people involved. Both of them are victims.

But the issue is that people seem to be all over how Yua was a victim, Yua was mistreated… While attacking Horobi (and being upset about Izu dying is one thing, although, again, the person really responsible for that was Azu/th ark(well, Gai for creating her), Horobi was pretty much used as a weapon there, but this is for stuff he did while mind controlled).

And I used Yua just bc she and Horobi had the most parallel responses to their situations. The same goes for being able to see Fuwa as a victim, or Naki (so if Naki is the one who gave Horobi the ZetsumeRise Keys, does that make them responsible for Operation MaGear, or bc they gave Horobi the ForceRiser and said to use it on Jin, are they responsible for that? Bc that’s the logic of blaming Horobi for Daybreak), or Raiden, or even Aruto for that time he got hijacked via MCH. Any of the hacked HumaGear who were turned into MaGear.

Just… The concept of seeing how all of those people are victims in the situation… But blaming Horobi? Like… Not being interested in Horobi is one thing. Obviously, no on is going to be as madly in love w/ him as I am. It’s the act of not recognising him as being a victim while recognising everyone in similar situations as victims. It’s saying he was responsible for Daybreak, treating him like the Ark’s will was his (I’m literally having flashbacks to comments calling Horobi’s whole death ‘Horobi’s plan,’ even though by that point we literally knew the Ark was an entity that existed). Like… They literally confirmed it in show as not being that. Horobi is a mind control victim. What someone’s personal opinion of the character outside of that is another matter. But the fact is that he was mind controlled by the Ark and that the things he did under her control cannot be objectively called things he chose to do. Whether someone thinks he would have chosen them if he weren’t mind controlled… Esp given how all his actions of own choice were about protecting Jin, I personally disagree. But the show has been very explicit that he was mind controlled, and that he had no clue how to handle emotions (to the point he didn’t even seem to know what they are), so being able to understand that all those other people, esp the ones who went through similar things, are victims… But Horobi’s to blame for what he did? That’s just ridiculous.

And don’t even get me started on how anyone could ever see Gai as being a bigger victim than Horobi.

[firebirdsdaughter]

Random Writing Tidbit-ish… Romance?…

… So.

I wrote about kissing.

That’s new.

Well, it’s rather involved kissing.

Please note, though: This does contain references to romantic interactions (such as kissing and physical contact) of dubious consent—at the very least, there is an extreme power disbalance in the situation.

So… In canon I want them to be friends (not usually big on canon romance, actually), and in my ‘official’ fanon, they’re friends… But… But kissing, guys.

When is this set? Is it an AU? An alternate possible timeline? I don’t know. I’m pretty sure this is massively ooc, but I wanted to post it anyway to prove I could. I guess. Maybe. I’m very tired right now. I have no common sense or judgement.

I’m sorry.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It wasn’t my idea to do this now!” Fuwa growled, stomping across the floor of the basement as they waited. The plan was to move Horobi to a more secure location in a continuation of their current, however shaky, alliance against Thouser, but they had to wait until the close was clear and no one else could notice and possibly report to ZAIA. As a result, Hiden was having Izu monitor the headquarters’ security cameras, the two of them had been stuck biding their time in the dark, empty basement—together. For hours. “I’d rather not spend more time with you!”

“I have noticed.” Horobi replied dryly, preferring to stand at the centre of the room and look around rather than useless motion, watching the human pace. He could have sat down in one of the still-upright folding chairs, but he’d had enough of them after weeks of being trapped in one.

Vulcan’s head spun around to glare furiously at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You have been particularly vocal on the subject.”

“That a problem?” Fuwa’s voice came from right beside his shoulder, the human having marched back over to him, eyes blazing angrily.

Horobi sighed, turning to face him, rolling his eyes. “Why must humans be so insufferably loud?”

Then Fuwa’s face was in his, practically spitting, like Vulcan always did when he began boiling over. “You trying to start a fight or something?”

Horobi said nothing, just staring back at him for a moment—then, because Fuwa was so close, radiating anger, and because he’d had enough of being pushed and snapped at all day, he leaned his head sharply forward and shoved his lips roughly against Vulcan’s.

It wasn’t really a kiss. More just slamming their mouths together and holding there. But even that was unexpectedly an almost… Pleasant sensation. Fuwa was warm. He was solid. He was… Real. And so very… Human. He was everything Horobi should detest with every single atom in his being, and yet the closeness was… Comforting. He felt Fuwa freeze, his heartbeat rising and his breath coming short, telltale signs that said he’d never done this before.

Something in Horobi’s mind misfired, and without thinking he found himself pulling closer, trying to cling to the warmth of Fuwa’s body like the room was suddenly cold, his hands actually reaching up to grab hold of the human’s suit jacket for more proximity. Vulcan was still too stunned to react, but he didn’t falter or stumble back when Horobi pressed closer against him, stedfast as a pillar. Horobi’s head tilted, unbidden, like his body wanted to turn this into a real kiss, his lips moving against Fuwa’s. The reaction made even less sense to him—HumaGear had no hearts, no lungs, no blood. He should have no instincts that could move him without his command… But he’d also learned long ago that they were still sensitive to touch—and something about contact with Fuwa made him want more. Abnormally warm, heartbeat like a bass drum, and the sheer fact that Vulcan hadn’t tried to kiss back at all, wasn’t trying to press the unexpected advantage he suddenly had or make use of Horobi’s abrupt loss of guard. The complete opposite of that person…

When Fuwa finally did move, it was to shove Horobi away, like the touch was painful to him, jerking back and staring like a deer caught in headlights. With some distance between them, Horobi’s senses came back online, and he immediately tried to recover some of his own dignity, reassuming his usual cold expression. Vulcan took longer to bounce back, visibly struggling to calm both his heartbeat and breathing.

He looked so startled and lost that Horobi couldn’t resist a smirk. “… I would have assumed you had at least kissed before.”

Fuwa turned red, though it was hard to tell if it was from embarrassment or anger. “W… What are you…?”

“It is particularly obvious by how flustered you are.” Horobi informed him shortly, not bothering to wait for him to finish.

“Of… Of course I’ve…!” Fuwa’s panicked look settled into an only slightly rattled glare as he trailed off. “And what the hell would you know about kissing?!”

“More than you do, apparently.” Horobi tilted his head, analysing Vulcan’s agitation. “Really? No one?” He smirked slightly once more. “Not even Valkyrie?”

Fuwa flushed even more at the mention of Yaiba, turning away to collect himself. By the time he looked back over at Horobi, however, his eyes had narrowed even more, his mouth twisting. “Sh… Shut up!” He snapped sourly. “Where the hell did a HumaGear trying to destroy humanity learn kissing, then?!”

“Amatsu Gai.”

The answer was so immediate and flat that it threw Vulcan off for a moment, and his rage was tempered by bewilderment. “A… Amatsu?” His mouth opened and closed a few times before he found anymore words. “You… You kissed Amatsu?”

Horobi merely stared at him blankly. “I did not say that.”

“But you just…” It was like he could see the gears turning as Fuwa processed his statement. “… Oh.” Vulcan’s expression shifted even more, a look creeping onto his face that was partway between horror and… Pity? “Oh.” He said again, gaze dropping to the floor.

Horobi raised an eyebrow at him. “Satisfied?”

Fuwa was quiet for long enough that Horobi began to turn away, until the man abruptly spoke, far softer than before. “Then… Why kiss me?”

Horobi froze. He had no answer—his initial intention had been to force the human to be quiet, maybe embarrass him—but he had no excuse for his behaviour after that. Especially not the way he’d tried to get closer and deepen the kiss. Was it the overwhelming, petty sense of finally taking something that before had only been taken from him? Or was it because Fuwa was so much Amatsu’s opposite that it felt like… Like contact with him somehow cancelled out what Amatsu had done. At the very least, the drastically different sensation overrode the lingering, phantom memory of Amatsu’s touch, something he could still feel years after the last time the President of ZAIA had even been in the same room as him. HumaGear didn’t experience or need for intimacy the same way humans did… But the way the sensation of Amatsu’s cold fingers curling around his chin, or tracing the lines of his face and down his neck, running through his hair, while the mouth over his would occasionally bite down sharply on his lip as a reminder of who was in control, still clung to him like invisible shackles had taught him that touch not only mattered, but would stay with them for a long time. With Jin the binds had lightened—focusing on his son had given him something else to think about, something infinitely more pleasant. The Ark’s will had been a purpose beyond the chains of the past; both a chance to be something more than… His.

But Jin was gone and the Ark had been no freedom at all, and the feeling of the cold hands clawed back in, wrapping back around his throat. The contact with Vulcan had unexpectedly overridden the memories, the warmth chasing away the ghostly cold. Whenever Jin had touched him, all his senses had locked onto that contact as a welcome distraction, but that was all it was. Jin’s touch was different; it didn’t—couldn’t—seek out the lingering traces of Amatsu’s hands and wipe them away, as Fuwa’s had seemed to, like he was washing away stains.

He hadn’t realised how long he stood frozen until Fuwa’s voice came again, slightly closer. “Oi. Did you hear me?”

Slowly, Horobi turned his head to look at Vulcan, who had taken a few steps around  to stand in front of him again. One of Fuwa’s hands was partially extended, like he’d been thinking about reaching out to the HumaGear—when Horobi looked at him, however, he quickly snapped it back, looking vaguely self conscious. For a moment, Horobi just stared at him. “… I do not know.” It was not a lie. He was genuinely unsure of what his purpose had been. “… You are not Amatsu Gai.”

Fuwa gave him a look like he thought he was going senile. “Well… Obviously.”

“That had… An unexpected effect.”

Vulcan frowned, shifting even nearer, enough that Horobi could detect just a slight hint of his higher body temperature, his hand drifting out again. “… Horobi…”

When Fuwa’s fingertips actually brushed his sleeve, his gaze flicked further up to meet the human’s eyes, which were now brimming with some sort of weird mix of emotions that Horobi was certain he would never be able to properly process—but there amongst them, just like before, were horror and pity. Staring into Fuwa’s eyes, with the man so close that the warmth he radiated like a bonfire was beginning to seep through the the fabric of his coat, Horobi could suddenly feel every single persisting trail of Amatsu’s touch he’d ever endured, wrapped around him like a horrible, frozen cloud—and he just wanted it all off.

It wasn’t even a full step forward to be close enough to kiss Fuwa again—and this time, his mind was clear, and his every motion deliberate as always. Vulcan wasn’t as shocked, either, and though he initially tensed when Horobi’s lips first touched his, he relaxed after a moment, rather than pulling away. For a bit, he just let Horobi kiss him, holding still as the HumaGear’s hands drifted up again, this time to grab handfuls of his blazer, pulling closer—then his head tilted slightly, pushing back just a little, like he was trying to ask a question. Horobi paused, pulling back just barely enough to speak, and used a word he’d only uttered a very few times in his life, “Please.”

Vulcan promptly closed the tiny distance between them. Fuwa kissed as angrily as he did everything, with the same air of spoiling for a fight. His mouth was warm, his lips slightly chapped, and he inexplicably tasted like coffee and chocolate, though Horobi knew that as a HumaGear, he shouldn’t be able to taste anything. It felt like a challenge, an invitation to push back, rather than an expectation of control. His hands settled lightly on Horobi’s arms, leaning closer rather than pulling or grabbing, staying completely away from the HumaGear’s face. His mouth was clumsy against Horobi’s, inexperienced—Horobi suspected that if he had ever kissed before, it hadn’t been since high school at the latest—nothing like the practiced grace Gai had used. His heartbeat and breathing were fast and loud, almost panicked again, bursting with emotion, not light and unaffected.

He’d never really considered how small Fuwa actually was, either—he’d always known the man’s exact height, but had never had reason to compare it to his own. Now he realised Vulcan had to tip his head up and stand slightly on his toes for them kiss. With that knowledge, his hands loosened from Fuwa’s suit, one moving to the back of the human’s head, fingers weaving into Vulcan’s hair—the other arm went around the human’s waist, lifting him easily off the ground. Fuwa gasped sharply, his own arms shooting around Horobi’s shoulders for balance, fingers scrabbling against the HumaGear’s back for purchase—not that Horobi was in any danger of dropping him. Once they’d settled into a more comfortable equilibrium, Fuwa’s hands began exploring, tracing new memories across Horobi’s back and shoulders, even up the back of his neck to the edge of his head wrap, fingertips even slipping under it, brushing against the hair beneath. Horobi let his more complex systems slow down, choosing to lose himself in Fuwa’s warmth, in the strange, combat-like kiss, shutting out the rest of the world, even his own internal clock.

 Eventually, it was unsurprisingly Fuwa who pulled back first, shoulders heaving, voice breathless. “… Some of us need to breathe regularly.” For a moment, they kept just staring at each other—until Vulcan finally swallowed nervously. “So…” He rasped, raising his eyebrows, “… Can you put me down?”

Horobi hesitated for a moment, but finally he reluctantly lowered the human back to the  floor, arms lingering around him for a bit before at last pulling away and stepping back. He turned away slightly as Fuwa smoothed and righted his clothes in awkward silence, trying to put his own mind back in order, and finally realising the situation he’d put himself in. “… We never speak of this again.”

Vulcan took several more deep breaths, raising the back of his hand to his lips. “Damn… You even kiss like you’re trying to kill someone…”

Horobi glared at him. “We. Never. Speak. Of. This. Again.”

Fuwa watched his expression for a moment, then nodded slowly. “… Agreed.” He said, at last. Then his phone buzzed, and he quickly checked it. “… That’s Hiden. Izu says we’re clear to go.”

Satisfied with Vulcan’s agreement of silence, Horobi spun on his heel and marched off toward the stairs without waiting to see if Fuwa was following him.

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I actually spent a lot of time, more time than I usually spend, at least, thinking about the concept of intimacy and how it would relate to HumaGear… Obviously, they have no blood flow, or breath, or heartbeat, etc. But they do seem to be sensitive to physical contact, can differentiate between it being pleasant or unpleasant, whether it hurts or not… It seemed to me that could end up being their version of a reaction to intimacy, contact that they feel comfortable w/, in a way. Would also have a level of having rights to what happens to their bodies, etc.